My mom is upset that I do not want her in the room with me when I give birth

It’s your birth and you get to decide. If you don’t want her in the room than there is nothing wrong with that. You let your husband and the nurses know and they will enforce it

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Nope you are not wrong. You have the right to give birth however makes you most comfortable! Whoever has an issue will get over it. And if they don’t, they’re toxic and you should set very strict boundaries with them or remove from your life. Family or not :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Tell her to get the hell out. A birth is for you and your husband

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Can you tell her that because of COVID only one person is allowed and that will be your husband? If you have older kids, tell her you need her to babysit. Our first, we didn’t even tell anyone we were going to the hospital. And Trudie’s right about telling her she won’t even be allowed at the hospital.

Tell her to not even toe the doors open. You don’t need stress and negativity and she knows this ugh why do people go crazy at births and funerals.

Trying to make your mom happy is futile. Make yourself happy and focus on having a healthy baby and a positive birthing experience.

This is your child; you call the shot and tell her to buss off. PERIOD

Tell your mom to stop trying to guilt you into letting her in the room you get to have this child with whom you want having a child is not easy you need to be as calm as possible

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Nope - you are not wrong. You are the one giving birth, it is a special moment, and everyone should respect what you want. I only wanted my husband in the room with me. :woman_shrugging:t3: I have friends who had a whole bunch of people in the room… it is just not for me, and that’s
okay. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Don’t let her pressure you and stop having her over if she’s treating you like that

It’s about your comfort, not hers. Tell your midwives that she is not allowed in the room under any circumstance. And if she keeps making you feel like crap, threaten that you won’t tell her when you go to hospital in the first place. She sounds toxic (my opinion) and she shouldn’t be at the hospital where she can stress you out and potentially put you and baby at risk of something. But definitely tell her there are boundaries and if she keeps trying to cross/push them, she won’t be told anything until after the baby is born.

do what is best for you not her you are theone having the baby

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I’ll say this as straight to the point but nice as possible.
It’s your pregnancy. Your labor and delivery. Your baby. Your choice.
It’s a stressful and hard experience and you need to have a calm, relaxing environment, as much as possible, so you can focus on the labor and delivery. On yourself and your baby.
If she’s already causing you stress and not respecting it now, imagine if you give in and the stress she causes you in the room.
Stand your ground.
She can either respect it, you, and your birth plan, or remove herself from your life. Keep your head up queen. :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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With Covid protocols most hospitals are only allowing 1 support person, no visitors and if they leave they can’t come back. Depending on where you’re living.

All that aside it’s your birth it’s a special moment that you and your husband or spouse share together a moment that only happens once. You and your husband created this life. You 2 should be the witnesses to this moment and memories, she can have the memory of either visiting you in the hospital or celebrating once you all come home with a celebration dinner or party once your out of the hospital.

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Tell her covid only allows 1 person which is the biological father

No is a complete sentence. Personally, it sounds like your mother needs to be cut off. She sounds toxic AF. Let the nurses know that NO ONE but your hubs is free to come and go. Everyone else will have to get approval first. That’s what we did. And if your mom throws a fit at the hospital they’ll have security take her out and then she won’t be allowed back on the premises.

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i think only you and your husband should be in the room, personally i would have felt weird if my mum was with me and not my husband

No and she doesn’t actually care about you bc she stressing you out. She cares only about her wants. Do what’s best for your family and forget about her. Is she can’t respect your no the. Don’t speak with her anymore. Don’t involve her drama into your lives.

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Daughters Of Abusive Mothers
The Sisterhood: Daughters of Narcissistic and Abusive Mothers

Well she was there when you were born.

My daughter and husband did it want me I excepted their wishes however my daughter in laws except 1 wanted me it’s a special time for you both she will get over it

Stand your ground! I would NEVER allow my mom over my husband in the delivery room!

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Tell her were you there when the baby was conceived. Nope. So you aren’t going to be there when it’s born.

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You are not being a brat you should have who you want with you

I had my mom and husband with all 3 but if she wants to be difficult then nope

Listen… You are the queen of this particular castle. Whatever you decide is the law. Don’t second guess yourself or allow someone to bully you. You’re already going to be uncomfortable- if her presence will add stress- it’s better for you and the BABY that she stays home and bosses herself around. Set the boundary, Queen…and defend it!!

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You are right to not want her in there if that’s how she treats you! Good for you, keep standing your ground and telling her no

No. You are not wrong. Stand your ground and don’t let her get under your skin. It’s narcissistic behavior. Good luck.

I have been blessed to be in the room when my two youngest grandchildren were born. I will always be thankful for that. I do not believe because your mom is your mom she should automatically expect to be in the room with you. If she yells at you, she doesn’t respect you and your decisions. I would stop contact with her until she can treat you with respect and abide by your decisions. I wish I could have had my mom with me especially when I was so far from home and no one to be with me. However that was 53 years ago. Things have changed since then. Always do what is best for YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. PERIOD.

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Stick with your word no

Your body. Your choice.

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Hell no.Keep her away, don’t let her bully you :triumph:
Show her these comments

Stick to your guns, you do not owe a single thing to this woman. Her behaviour is despicable.

I only had my husband with me for the birth of my children, best decision I ever made.

My mother used to behave like this, she had the worst tantrums. I haven’t spoken to her years and I’ve never been happier :sparkling_heart:

You not wrong at all. I have dealt with toxic family before. And as hard as it may be, sometimes you need to lovingly distance yourself from them. If she’s that controlling, I would suggest limiting your time with her, and set up boundaries. Congratulations :tada: and I hope you have safe and smooth birth.

Congratulations. You are not wrong… stand up for your self.

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it is your choice BUT did you tell her why “this time” you don’t want her there…did you tell her it is your husband’s turn to be in the room…Is there a reason both can’t be in the room. My daughter had her husband and myself in the room but I had no one in the room with me…your choice just remember that

Nope you are 100% in charge of this decision and this day. Tell her your answer is no and if she keeps going she won’t even get to see the baby after. It’s not about her. It’s about you, your husband, and your baby. Boundaries are awkward but necessary sometimes.

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Not at all. I went through the same. The father of your child is the only #1, they should be there. Sounds like your mom needs to cut the cord n let you be an adult that makes her own decisions. I went months without talking to my mother because she wouldn’t respect the fact that I was grown and can make my own decisions.

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Her decision on who is there for her child’s birth.

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Yo baby. Yo husband. Sit this one out Nana

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Most hospitals at the moment are only allowing one person. If you want your husband there then follow your heart. Delivering is hard as it is having to be stressed and unhappy on top of that.

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You’re husband deserves to be in there with you. It’s his child too. You are :100: right. Stand your ground or tell her she’s cut out.

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Nope. Your the one having a baby your the one that decides who is by your side.

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Stand up for yourself its your decision

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No it’s your choice completely who you have in the room, and choose the people who make you feel better and more comfortable… you’re pushing a human out of your body, you don’t need someone around who makes rude comments and stresses you out … she can meet your baby when you are ready for her to.
Sorry, not sorry :woman_shrugging:t3:

I never allowed anyone other than my husband to be with me. It’s such a special time. I feel like it’s just for us.

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Mums being a brat!!! That is yours and your husbands child. I asked my mum if she wanted to be in with my first birth and she told me that is something special between me and my partner. His mum and sister ended up joining me, I felt super awkward after

You body, your baby, your choice. I was there for my second and third grandchildren (daughter, daughter-in-law), that was the mothers’ choice. If they didn’t want me there for whatever reason, I would probably be sad and hurt, but I would respect their wishes.

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That is 100% your choice and she has to deal with it :woman_shrugging: be mad.

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You are NOT wrong in the least. Stick to your guns! You are not married nor having this child with your mother. My goodness she should respect your wishes. You’ve got enough stress going on without that. Sigh :pensive:

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Better stand your ground now because when the baby comes, she will be controlling it as well. Good luck.

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No, you are not wrong. It’s you and your baby. If you want your husband with you and he wants to then that’s exactly what you should do. She’s acting like a kid, wantin candy at the grocery store and can’t get her way.

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Your baby your choice

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My sister wouldn’t let me in plus i dont do well with a dirty hoochie coochie lol once the baby shoots out lol your mom will forget everything dont get upset ur water might brake

She’s being a controlling jerk. I personally would cut ties with someone like that.

You didn’t have to add in any part of yalls relationship whether it’s good or not tbh and we would all say it’s your baby your choice. I would expect mothers themselves to understand our right to who we want in the room. You aren’t in the wrong. She’s being extremely selfish making it about her when it isn’t.

That’s really sad that you can’t tell NO without Drama…I 'm so sorry

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NTA. Not only would I not allow her in the room, she would not be allowed around my children until she got some anger management classes and therapy.

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She wasn’t there when the baby was made…
I thought I’d want my mom there but when it was time, it felt extremely intimate and personal. It was just my husband and me there. Entering the new chapter of OUR lives together. The rest of the family met him after, but I do not regret my decision one bit. It brought my husband and me closer together going through such a moment together.
You’re the mom now. It’s literally YOUR decision to make. It’s such a personal moment you will never get back and it’s such a beautiful moment that you don’t want it to be ruined by unnecessary stress. Stand your ground.
She had her moment when she had her kids.
Now it’s your time.

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That is not her place. Don’t let her in there with you. She can’t make you you this.

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Have who you want in there with you.

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You’re right. Just say no to her. She can argue all she wants but don’t go down that rabbit hole.

She is being a total brat and it sounds like your relationship is pretty toxic. She has zero respect for your boundaries and you need to remain firm in your NO. NO is a complete sentence. Full stop. Period. If she can’t accept that, and continues to act out abusively against you because you assert a boundary, then you should go no contact and stop giving her the opportunity to guilt trip you, manipulate you, and mistreat you. You, and your new baby, and your husband all deserve better from her. If she’s not mature enough to be in your life in a way that respects your boundaries, then she cannot be in your life. The price of admission to have a relationship with you and your family is respect for your boundaries. Period.

I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but you asked for advice, and you need to know you’re not the asshole in this situation, no matter what she says to try to make you feel that you are. I had to go no contact with my mom because of similar repeated violations of my boundaries. And the more I let her do it, the more she pushed the limits. I finally decided that I needed to hold myself accountable to enforcing my own boundaries because I deserved that level of respect, and if it wouldn’t come from her, then at least it could come from me. I wish you strength and resolve and peace about this.

Kick her to the curb and tell her she ain’t allowed in your house or around you and your family until she learns respect - you need to fight back and push her back in her own lane. Make sure she knows nothing about when and where you give birth - you don’t need that witch :woman_mage: in the room with you!

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You are absolutely not wrong and she is being more than a brat! She is being selfish, rude and inconsiderate to say the least. You have every right in the world to have just you and your husband together for such a important intimate moment in your lives. Don’t back down either or you’ll just enable her to continue thinking she can treat you like garbage. No one has the right to treat you like garbage including your mother. I’d tell her that the decision has been made, the plans of who is going in the birthing room is finalized and that’s that. She’ll get over it. Now stop letting her upset you… there is a baby coming and you need to be mentally and physically ready and not stressed out by a over the top controlling mother. :woman_shrugging:t3:

I’m the odd one here. She’s your mother. Let her in there. It’s an amazing experience. If it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t be here. This can help your relationship as well. Everyone needs their mom. I just buried mine on the 22nd. I’d do anything to have her back.

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She is being a controlling bitch.

She is toxic, mean, childish & downright nasty. Stop her in her tracks & firmly inform her if her behavior doesn’t change & pronto she won’t be meeting her grandchild anytime soon. Shape up or ship out You do not need the stress

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Check hospital policy a lot of them are only allowing 1 person right now anyway

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She’s definitely a brat

Daughters Of Abusive Mothers might be a good page for you to have a look at they’re a fantastic support network

I told My Mom/Mother-in-law… absolutely Not
Neither created our baby!
That Only my husband & I would be in the delivery room & when the baby was put on me … we (Dad & I ) would Bond & let them know when we were ready to share •
That’s exactly how it went we both our sons •

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No you’re not & Honestly she’s just pushing herself away more & more she acts that way!

You’re not wrong in the slightest. It’s your choice on who you want in the room. You’re the one who’s giving birth, not her.

Don’t tell her when you go into labor

She is acting entitled so if I were you I would do what you choose for your birth

Husband should be there, it’s his newborn too. Not hers

You’re not wrong, and your mother is horrible for making you feel that way.
Tell her if she keeps it up, she won’t be seeing YOUR baby after the birth either.

Um it’s your pregnancy and birth fuck her

Why would she want to be there? She sounds very controlling. If you don’t put your foot down now, she will be a nightmare in your family. She will still try though. Limit her visitation.

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jou have whoever jou want in the room. its jour body. and birth,

She sounds like a narcissistic mother. You are having the baby. You choose who gets to be there.

No stand your ground !

Very toxic! I wouldn’t even allow her at the hospital period!

Your mother is being a brat,
Giving birth should be between you and your husband.

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I wouldn’t even tell her when I went into labour lol

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Have your hubby there

No you are not wrong I definitely wouldn’t have her in there

Tell your mom it’s my choice now you hade yours. you made your bed lie in it.

Your having the baby NOT your Mother I would not tell her when you start labor just go have the baby !Its your right !I only had my husband when we had our 3 kids !If she’s treating you terribly for your own decision she’s the problem NOT you !Do what you want she’ll throw a tantrum and may treat you terrible even after your baby is born !Its your and your husbands decision NOT grandmas she sounds very toxic to me ! !I was in with our daughters first baby but she asked me if I wanted to I didn’t ask her !She sounds narcissistic to me I’m sorry she’s causing you stress !Can you just have a nice conversation or not with her?If it was me I do what my husband and I want not what your mother wants !You’re NOT being selfish she’s the brat !If u and your mother aren’t so close why she want in the delivery room anyway ?

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Your mother is wrong to put such stress on you. If it were me, I wouldn’t want anyone in there but the doctor and nurse. They do not need to be distracted by others in the room. At any rate, the decision should be yours, not your mother’s and she should get off her high horse.

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You don’t need an audience. Just you and your husband is plenty. The doctor and nurses need to concentrate on you and your baby. :two_hearts:

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Tell the nurse(s) who you want in the room! Your body, your choice!

Just tell her that your husband is the only person allowed in the room. Inform the staff that she is not under any circumstances allowed into the delivery room, they will male sure she cant come in.

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What does it hurt??Let her enjoy her grandchild’Selfish!!!

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Id tell her, “yeah youre really making me want to have you in there with the way youre treating me n making me feel like shit…”

Depends on your age and a lot of other things.

Tell her it’s a special time for you and your husband and she should respect that if she loves you

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You are not wrong it should be who you want

Your husband should be there & mom in the waiting room…