So I’m the oldest member of my family without a child. Like everyone at my age had at least one by now. Only being 20, I really don’t want a child right now. My mom is passionately about me have one before I’m 21. All the women in my family had started their families young. Like 15-19 young. All though, high school, that’s all anyone asked me about. Do they say things like " Your life will be better"? Your not really a woman until you have children" " Could you at least find a boyfriend?? He will change your mind" extra I understand my mom believe that I’m not complete without a family of my own and even with telling her over and over that I feel complete within my own self now, she still actively is trying to set me up with people without my permission how do I handle the situation especially since I still live at home going through school
Don’t rush my friend, I’m 28 and I have no biological children and I’m not in a rush for any just yet, it happens when the time is right and don’t give in to the pressure of anyone, go at your own pace xxx
Tell her straight up you don’t want kids. Your body, your life. Not hers
I’m 34 not married and don’t have kids and it’s ok
Don’t have them if you don’t want them. They tend to stick to ya
Ignore it.If not for you .You are better being ready.I gave mine everything.I waited till my heart was in it…no regrets
Just dont have them you dont have to explain your choice to anybody…
If you don’t want children she should respect that.
Take care of your birth control, then tell your mother you have unspecified ovarian failure, and wont be able to have any, and she will STFU.
My daughter’s 35 not married never wanted kids still don’t it’s fine whatever you want
Don’t have them until your ready I was 28. And had been married 7.5 years.
Just have a conversation with her and let her know that you won’t be having any children
What century does the mother live in?
Coming from a girl who had a baby at 18 ( who may I add love to bits) wait and do it in afew years
If you want a life now without kids don’t have any. Just tell them your waiting until mid 30s to have kids. Or never. It’s your choice
Wow. My eldest is 21! I’ve told her to live her life first!! I had her at 22 and felt young!! Tell your mom it’s your life, not hers!!
Wow your only 21! Go to work enjoy your friends go on adventures take trips it comes naturally you’ll meet a person that you’ll be ready to settle down and poof your pregnant and in a happy place planning on having that baby! I have to say though they are a joy like no other!
it’s expensive to raise kids these days. Get your education first! I wish I had. I was 23 when I had my 1st child. My oldest is now 27 and I’m NOT a grandma yet! In YOUR time honey NOT your moms
It’s OK not to want kids. Your decision entirely
Don’t lie as someone suggested cause there are alot of women that do have ovarian problems so just draw a line and tell her straight up that maybe you want to finish school and move out and meet someone and fall in love and get married and then and only then you might want to stsrt a family. No disrespect intended BUT a good mom would want that for her child. You’re still very young. Do what’s best for you. Your mom will just have to learn to accept that its your decision not hers and she should be proud of you for making smart choices. Becoming a parent forever changes your life and is by far the hardest job you’ll ever have in your life.
You are much to young to have a child u must finish school work make a life for you,go out mert people have fun i had my baby at 30 and boy was I happy did everything i wanted to do before bring a mother. U heed time for u first
What in the hell kind of mom WANTS her kids to have kids at such a young age?!?! I’m horrified by how your family does things and thinks it’s ok. You’re only 20, not even old enough to drink yet, and not married. I can’t imagine what she’s thinking pushing you to get pregnant. Please don’t, tell her you don’t want her life and you’re still young trying to live yours.
She sets you up with people? I’d call to cancel each time, maybe your mom will get the hint. Or sometimes you could go out to just have fun if you want. This is your life and you decide when or if you want something.
Get birth control and fake the b.f.
Got that pressure from the ex’s in-laws. Told them I was unable to have children. Imagine their joy eight years later when the “miracle” baby arrived!
ask her how many of those that had babies at 16, how many are still with their first baby father…
when her answer is (most likely) not all of them, say you rest your case
Don’t allow her to guilt/bully you into anything! You will know when and if you want children. Our youngest daughter was 38 when she had her daughter. She has no plans for more. Never thought she was going to have any but that was her decision. I respected her choice. You need to finish growing yourself! Best Wishes.
I had one at 24 . A blessing , but one was enough for me . I’m 60 now , and I’m still raising myself .lol I don’t think my Mom felt up to it with me being the 4th child .
Your body, your life, your choice. Don’t let anyone ever tell you different.
My daughter is 28. She’s in a long term relationship. But she doesn’t want children yet; or maybe ever. I’m good with HER decision. You are young and have plenty of time to decide if and when you might want children. Just smile and tell them “you will think about it”.
Babes my best advice is one of two things : 1. Avoid/change the subject every time its brought up.
2. Stand up for yourself firmly. Tell her “mom this Is MY life now and I will go about it AS I SEE FIT. I DONT WANT KIDS RIGHT NOW” and then tell her if she chooses to keep badgering you about it, you simply wont converse for a while. She is your mother, not your controller.
Just tell her you’re gay, she’ll stop asking.
Dont do it !! Do it when you are READY… Its not an easy situation… A lot of money, time, and energy…
I understand where you’re coming from. My family is the same way; I went through a lot of pressure, negativity and criticism because I didn’t have kids until I was 30. I told my family that I wanted to finish school and get a good paying job first so that I could provide my child with whatever he/she needed. Stay strong. It’s you life and only YOU get to decide when and if you want to have children.
Tell her she won’t get any if she keeps stressing you out! You’ll have kids when YOU want, not her! Tell if she wants kids so bad to go out and adopt or foster kids. Bet she shuts up then. Add to the pot, start collecting adoption and foster parent pamphlets and give her one every time she comes over or have a phone number to give her if she calls.
My mom has been after me forever to have a husband and kids. I am now 41 and still have never married or had kids. When the time is right for you then go for it …not before! This is entirely your decision. You are young. Use this time to get yourself established so that you dont have to struggle financially thru life. Then when you are ready for a family you can be able to provide a great life!
Live first , and unless you crave having a child , don’t have one
Be that family member they wish they were the one who has been there seen that and knows what they want.
Don’t live their lives , live your own.
No! Focus on yourself and prepare your future. It’s not about them. You will not need to struggle if you don’t feel it’s right time… Don’t find a sperm donor cuz it make your life worst! Take your time. Enjoy your life and right man will come into your path… Then right man will be there, love you and want spend his life with you that when you realize it’s right man for you to move on.
Oh Jesus Christ, this isn’t about “your body, your choice”, this is about a wacked out mother. Hug your own uterus
You are on the right path for yourself and that’s why you feel confident about your life right now. It’s not your mom’s decision… you are doing well stay the course.
Silly woman tell her to get lost go Travel the world and you don’t need a man
It is not your parents right to expect you to have children. 20 is still young my mum was 36 when she had me in 1970 as she and my dad wanted to live their lives before having children. You are your own person and not the possession of your parents. You must do what you want and not for the approval of your parents. I wish you well xx
Your 20 years old you have the rest of your life …my youngest is 23 she has no kids she wanted a career (she’s a school teacher) she has her own house with her fiancé and getting married next year ?? I don’t pressure her …why …because it’s her life her choice and I love and respect her to ever do that …tell your mom you want to finish school maybe you want to go to university?? Go live your live to the full and enjoy
What’s right for others isn’t necessarily right for you, do what is right for you. I had my first child at 18 and my second at 26 and I really wish I waited with both till my circumstances were better. I can’t stress it enough, wait till it’s right for you.
That’s nuts. Wait until you’re 28. I had my daughter at 21, way too young and love changes at that age. Wait until you are happy in love and forget your mom.
Do what is right for you. I think your Mom needs to learn about personal boundaries. If and or when you want to have kids, do it when YOU want to not because you were forced to do so.
Tell her to have a kid🤣
This post is so fake
Don’t let yourself get pressured into having a baby you’re not ready for. It’s your decision and you are going to have to be firm about it! Our brains are not even fully developed until we’re twenty five. Don’t rush having a baby. It changes every aspect if your life.
Tell her straight up your not ready for a boyfriend and don’t want a baby anytime soon. Tell her stop fixing you up with people it will happen you are ready! That’s kinda how it is in my family as well. I wish I would have waited, I was also 20 with my first. I tell my daughter to wait until she’s done with school and is living a good life. Follow your heart that is what matters💜
Just be yourself and tell her when the time is right it will happen until then I want to live my life for me!
It’s not her decision and she should back off. Personally, I think 20 is far too young to have a child but I know everyone is different. I didn’t have my twin daughters until I was 32.
Tell her to fuck off. My body my choice
Tell her you aren’t a fucking broodmare. It’s your life and your body so it’s your decision, not hers and she shouldn’t be bullying you to have a baby
Kids arent everything. Your only 20. Having kids to appease ppl will only make u resent the child and your parent. I would stand firm and tell them that thats jot ok to pressure you.
If it was me, I’d tell her “if you want a baby, so badly, have one, yourself!”
Kids are great and nice to have if and when you want. You’re only 20 enjoy your life!!!
OMG!! Get out!! Go travelling!!
20 is way too young to settle down. Enjoy your independence and enjoy your freedom. Live your life. Once you get married and have kids it’s no longer just about you. It’s hard to find time to take care of yourself when you’re busy taking care of kids. So use this time to figure out who you are and what you like and what you don’t like. Experience things. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. There’s no need to rush￼
It’s YOUR life you do YOU you know what YOU want and don’t don’t let anyone tell you different
Tell her to mind her own business. This is your life, isn’t not???
You are capable of making your choice when you feel it’s the time for that, both my sister n sister in law had kids 7 years before me n same questions when when when ? Ok , my reply n when it happens was my answer !! So nobody’s business if we were trying r not that was our choice ;”)
Tell her you are absolutely not at the ready stage for kids PERIOD and to stop pressuring you because you want to do other things prior to having its. You may just have to change the subject when she starts talking about it.
this is a total crap. you decide for your self. you are on the right track because you feel confident about what’s happening on your life. enjoy life while you’re still single. travel. sleep more. meet new people. your life depends only on you. you are doing great!
Selective hearing works wonders.
NO MOM , Not right now !!! Js
Ur mom already had her kick at the can…IT’S YOUR TURN…YOUR LIFE.
1-dating (or being set up on dates) doesn’t have to mean starting a family. Thank God for birth control
2- I had my child 2 months shy of my 25th b-day and my mom who had me when she was 19 said I was too young … anyways, I think it was just the right age for me. Before that would have been too young.
It basically all comes down to each individual… some women are teen mothers, some in their 20s, 30s and now more and more women wait till their 40s. To each their own. You can fight all you want, I doubt your mom will get off your back. Doesn’t mean you have to give in if you’re not ready. But you will have to put up with her behaviour, unless you move out
But don’t have kids to shut her up… plz! Your body your choice
Tell your mom to mind her business…and maybe she’d like to have that baby instead
Is this a joke situation, or is it real
Mother is very toxic
In my experience, no point explaining or even telling her off. It’s already too set in their mind and they won’t understand. Just do the shit that u wanna do, go out and see the world, and chase after things that can excel u. And guess what sooner or later, marital/financial/whatever stress will creep up to those young married mom in ur families while you live your life happily with freedom and continuous learning because woman is not just their functional wombs
I’m 29 years old, I have no kids. a few years ago I dated someone for only 6 months. I want to have my own family some day but I’m not going to. everyone wants to be with someone but then cheats on that person so it’s a waste of time. DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. Live the LIFE YOU WANT and do whatever you heart desires.
Some great advice here .
Tell your mother that this is YOUR LIFE , so therefore YOUR DECISIONS . She made her choices.
Also tell her that if she doesn’t back off , should you ever decide to have children , she will n oh t kn li w about it till the child is born
OR write a BIG note stating ** children are NOT part of my future at this point ** with your name * attach it to her fridge .
I am a mother if 4 & grandmother of 5.5 kids & I always said to my kids ### IF you decide to have kids ##
Hell no. You are so young. If and when you decide to have or not have a child is no one’s business but your own!!!
You’ve got to be forceful.
Tell her to mind her own business. Tell her your uterus and what you do with it, is your business. She doesn’t get an opinion, or a say, in what you do with it.
You need to not worry so much about her feelings.
Don’t have kids because they will sap u of your youth and there is no getting that back!
You have your life ahead of you. Enjoy it before settling down. You are still so young!
My mum was the same but I travelled the world before settling down and having kids. I was 28 when my first bundle of joy arrived. I’m a grandma now and can’t imagine my life without kids and grandchildren, but everyone is different. Don’t let anyone dictate to you. Your body, your life.
Wow!! Well let’s start by stopping your mother or family trying to encourage you into something you don’t want at this time in YOUR life. Be strong, say “Thank you for your opinion or advice but it’s not mine right now!!” I married young for all the right reasons. Didn’t want kids for a while, I wanted to live MY life with just me and hubby. We had fun, traveled, we are great friends. Having fun getting to know each other for 13 years. Then we bought a house to prepare for the kids and happy little family. Welllll our first born was a stillborn boy, Joshua. We went through such he’ll. Then had a “healthy” girl who quickly turned into a baby with a terminal metabolic condition. Needless to say we were devastated!! She lived for 15 years. I have another girl she’s 21 now, she’s fine, normal. She amazes me every day. My point is this. I was thankful I didn’t start having children at a young age. I couldn’t imagine going through all of the turmoil and difficulties when I was 18 or 20 or 30. I’m not saying these to scare you. It’s just my story. Our idealic lives ended with the death of Josh and then my disabled daughter. You just never know what life will be like. We had to mourn the loss of the healthy little boy and little girl. Just follow your heart. Once you have a child your entire mission in life changes on so many levels. Good luck. Sorry it’s so long.
20years is way to young to have a baby focus on your studies And enjoy your youth just sit her down and tell her how you feel make her understand how you feel.
I. Had my first at 18 living at home… It was very hard… I no friends who don’t want children and that’s fair enough… You are 20 and might change your mind one day or you might not… Tell her I don’t want any and accept it… You arnt gonna force me to sleep with someone unprotected
Honestly go and study something that you really really want to do and do things that YOU want to do I didn’t have a child til i was 28/29 and still struggle to do the simplest things with dragging a toddler around (you only last for 10mins or less befor run back home) lol. Tell your mum if she wants a baby soo…bad then adopt one. Your body and your sanity not hers . But still give her a cuddle. She probably miss’s all the fun baby moments and forgotten the bad sleepless nights
You have probably 25 years to produce a grandchild for her. Lol. Seriously, tho, she should be thinking more about your welfare, NOW, not about your possible babies. Are you in college or have plans for college or a trade school. Make a plan! Write it down and show it to her. Show her that you are motivated to live a fulfilled life and want to bring any child into a successful secure home. Babies should have security, and that requires planning.
Your mom is being selfish. There’s something missing in her life and she thinks a grandchild is going to fill the void. You are wasting your time trying to convince her that you aren’t ready. There’s nothing that you can do.
Ohhh my friend. I will be 30 in a few months and am in a permanent long term relationship with my partner. EVERY WOMAN IN MY LIFE will ask me “When are you and Fletcher going to have kids?” I tell them we don’t want them. And every single one tells me “Oh you will someday, just wait until you’re older! (wtf I’m basically 30, pretty sure I know what I want at this point as far as kids go??) You just won’t feel complete as a woman until you do! They’re so fulfilling! It’s our job as women to have babies and you aren’t doing your job!” Moral of the story is that you will never stop being told that you WILL SOMEDAY want children, so sadly I guess you have to get used to it and come up the same schpeal you’ll have memorized to tell every know-it-all and noisy old biddy that you don’t plan on having spawn (or don’t plan on it at this time). It sucks as women that we have to go through this
sit down with her and explain that that’s what she wants you have other goals in life and kids don’t fit in your life , you don’t want to be with anyone you want to finish school and have a career . kids take a lot of time and effort and so much attention I had kids young and I really wish I would’ve waited but life happened and here I am . but I’m a single mom now and I wouldn’t have it any other way , I have a bunch of friends that have pets as their “kids” I don’t see anything wrong with it . you cannot force what you want or believe tha someone should have or be like it’s your choice .
Tell her straight i do not want a child right now
Not all women want to be moms they borrow nieces oe nephews to fill that baby draw nothing wrong in that
“I am going to live to be 100, there is plenty of time.”
I had a planned pregnancy at 19, had my baby at 20 and am now 21… although she was planned and I love being a mom, I do miss who I used to be. If it’s not for you right now, then that’s that, simple. Don’t let anyone pressure you into a life long commitment that you feel isn’t right for you right now.
I can only imagine how hard it is to have the pressure of your mom nagging you about having children but you’re so young! You have all the time in the world to decide if you want children and if you never have any, that’s perfectly okay. Your mother or not, don’t let her pressure you into having kids. Having a child is a major responsibility and it changes every aspect of your life.
I would just do your best to ignore her opinions and attempts at setting you up. You’re an adult and it’s your life/body. You’re in control of all of that. I hope she backs off at some point and I’m sorry you have to deal with that!
Tell her you will be expecting her to pay child support:rofl:
Tell her to mind her own vagina. It’s perfectly okay if you dont want kids!
Honestly nothing u say will likely get her to stop. Maybe if you lie and say u are infertile she would stop…
Nobody can tell you what to do with your body! Live your life and enjoy it you are young and have plenty of time to settle down and have kids!
Tell her you like chicks
By telling her “I don’t want children.” Short, sweet, to the point and done!
I have kids from 27 to 10. I tell my older 2( in their 20’s) there is no need to breed. Have a life FIRST go to school get married buy a house THEN think about babies. LOL I’ll be your momma for a bit. HONEY wait until 30. Travel finish your education buy expensive shoes & purses there will be a time all that fun money goes to diapers and formula.
You are still so young. I begged my daughter to wait until she was older and experienced life but she did not and was not ready to take care of a child. Just tell your mom you are not ready yet and want to focus on establishing a stable life first.
Tell her to mind her own uterus