My mom thinks my boyfriend should pay the water bill even though he doesn't live here: Advice?

Any money he gives you is for the baby and to make sure the baby has a safe environment so once you get child support you could pay it

As a mom of a 16 year old, I’d rather the bf send money for diapers for his baby(among other items, wipes, clothing etc.) so y’all can stock up on a few things while he has a job. You never know what could happen to his job or him where he’d be out of work.

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Theres no reason you couldnt look for a part time job for after school hours, even being pregnant. I worked my whole high risk pregnancy with my daughter, and already having a 6 year old. When my son was a new born I absolutely could not work and I was on bedrest . I was 18, in college, we lived with my parents and my ex husband worked offshore but respected my parents enough to send them money to help with several Bill’s, and sent me my own money to get my own food to save them on their grocery bill. He respected and felt obligated to help my parents because they were providing a roof over my head, transportation to my doctors appts, and anything I needed. It’s not who should pay Bill’s and who shouldn’t. Under the circumstances yall are adults, yall obviously didnt use protection while have sex and yall knew what could happen. Welcome to the life of being an adult and taking responsibility for your own actions!

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Well I dont think its his responsibility it is yours to help pay bills. You’re an adult, about to be a mother. Gotta grow up.

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There is NOTHING wrong with your mother asking you to contribute. You can’t get pregnant with your own child like you are a grown up and then play the I am a kid in high school card. Choices come with consequences. You or him, since you are now a family of 3, need to start helping to pay your own way.

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Um just because you have a boyfriend does not mean he is responsible for you. Your mother is responsible for you until you graduate if you live her house. I’m so dumbfounded with people now days. You want to baby and spoil your children until they become teenagers then you want to act like they are suppose to just flip a switch and grow up and start paying for stuff. These people saying you should pay or he should pay know they didnt help. Lol

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You are your own responsibility, not his or your mother’s. She needs to get off her high horse

You aren’t his kid so no, you aren’t his responsibility. He no longer lives there so she should expect him to pay…you however should help your mom…so if he sends money for his child, then yes, I say help her out.

I understand you are still in school but what I think is that you have made some adult decisions and I think you should help pay the water bill not your boyfriend.
I dont think your mom is wrong in saying needing to help pay the water bill but it’s not his job anymore hes not living there anymore.

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I see both sides if I was you I would just get a job more money faster you can get out there also you could pick the bill up and get her to shut up

I’m a mom…& never did any of my kids or their friends I had lived in my house ever paid a penny for anything… I don’t agree he should pay it, if he isn’t living there. It’s ok, when he was though

He shouldnt be paying bills at a house he doesnt live in

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Before getting pregnant you were her CHILD. Now pregnant, you’re an ADULT. It’s time to grow up.
If I was mom in this situation. I’d be charging him to(but saving to give back for baby supplies once y’all got your own place. Cuz that stuff ain’t cheap). Because you’re an adult now. Bills are part of that. You’re no longer my child. If you can make a baby, then you can be an adult🤷.
Now if he truly left…then yes. I’m gonna help my child free of charge. Cuz I’m stepping up and being grandma/daddy cuz I ain’t leaving my child foundering alone.
But he didn’t leave you. He’s just outta town(mine use to work outta town 95% of the time when my kid was young). So ya…you and baby are his responsibility. Same as my man still paid our bills while he was outta town. Cuz we were still HIS family.
But ya. You’re having a baby. Time to grow up.
Pay the water bill. It’s cheaper then your own place. Just saying.🤷

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She’s your mom. He isn’t your husband. Your more her responsibility at this point. Once you move out and live with him, then yea. But she’s being completely unreasonable. Just tell her that he is trying to get money saved up for when the baby comes, etc. and you are still trying to finish school, so she should accept that. And just pay it. Anyone else saying well you live there, so you need to get a job. It doesn’t matter either. I had my first child when I was 17, and my 2nd when I was 18. And I couldn’t finish school while working also. I was having to change into my work clothes during my 8th period. Go straight to work, not get off until midnight or 1. To go home, do my homework for all my classes, study for my tests, go to bed about 3-4 when I finished. then wake up at 6-6:30 to do it all over again. I couldn’t juggle that. So I dropped out and got my ged, worked full time, etc. you need to worry about finishing school.

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Help pay the bills you live there-if you don’t like being there rent you a place of your own-this is the life you have chose for yourself

Kinda funny how some say mom is money hungry for what one of the cheaper bills
And mom just needs help now

Maybe she’s using alot more water maybe she’s eating alot more food so more money is going towards food now so that leaves her now short on other bills and mom is living pay check to pay check as it is
Are you helping out with anything food, phones, electric?

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You are not his responsibility. The baby is both of your responsibility. If he is working and paying his own bills somewhere else, of course he shouldn’t be paying your mothers bills. You on the other hand, should be. However you work that out. You are going to be a mother, and need to start paying your and your babiy’s way through life.

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You became an adult when you started acting like. Adult and got pregnant is is your and your bf reponsiblty not hers

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She sounds pissed you are pregnant tbh this is her way of punishing you ie make your bed you lie in it

Technically you are still your moms responsibility until you are 18 unless you are emancipated pregnant or not, not your boyfriends.

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I think this is a situation where you have to weigh different things. Yes…you’re in High School. Big props for staying in school and graduating. You are now also a parent. With your decision to become pregnant you made the choice to become a responsible adult and have the responsiblity for a child. You are 18. Legally mom is not financially responsible for you. Morally is a personal choice. However… mom is housing you. I assume she’s feeding you and covering your other utility expenses. If mom asked you to leave (just a scenario not my personal belief) where would you go? Your boyfriend would be forced to provide for you 100% because you are pregnant correct? Many moms believe that not requiring help from their children or putting the strain on them that might create; helps put them in a position of being able to attain goals or success. Sweetie… you’re an adult. If mom is asking for help with one thing… given the help she is providing you and your boyfriend (because he’d be completely responsible otherwise) shouldn’t be looked at as a negative thing. Be grateful and help your mom if you can. Or sit down and negotiate what you can help with… I know you’re young and have a lot of expenses most kids your age aren’t just starting out life with. You’re not them. If you can’t work because you’re pregnant or going to school… I think it’s not to much to ask your boyfriend to help. Or the three of you sit down like adults and try to figure out who can do what. Your mom probably works hard or is on a limited income. Take that into consideration when you feel she’s being unfair. I’m sure she has struggles and reasons she doesn’t express to you. Try and remember less stress on you is less stress on your baby. Handling this quickly and in a manner fair to everyone is the best choice.

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Teen pregnancy is hard enough without parents (grandparents,) adding more obstacles to the mix. Im sure this young lady is already worried about becoming a mother at such a young age. If it were my daughter I would want to guide her and help her as much as possible, not to go party and be crazy but to finish school and become a good mother, maybe even go to college. Good luck to you sweetie. A baby, at any age is a blessing. You got this.

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I think that you should help contribute since you’re 18 and having a child. The bf needs to send you child support

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He shouldn’t be having to pay anything if he isn’t living there. He has his own living expenses to cover while he’s trying to save money in order to provide a home for his family. Your mum is out of order. If anything she should be asking you, not him as he doesn’t live there but since I’m sure she’d rather you got your education, she should let it go

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Legally she is her moms responsibility since she is still in school. It’s not easy to be pregnant and get a job, most places won’t hire you if you’re showing plus the fact she’s still in school means she can’t work that much. This is what wrong with people, parents expect to only take care of their kids until a certain age or something happens then it’s “you’re on your own”. What happened to helping your child through hard times and loving them​:thinking:in other countries the children stay with the parents until they get married and they don’t expect the help. “Oh you’re 18, you’re an adult so get out and take care of yourself”:woman_facepalming:t3:the BF is trying to save money to move baby and her to live with him, her mother should be more understanding and help that become a reality. Instead her mother thought it was a good idea to let an underage girls BF move in with them since he would pay a bill​:woman_facepalming:t3:who could see that going wrong​:roll_eyes:

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He shouldn’t be paying it but you should be.

I’m going to say this. He’s your boyfriend and don’t live there so no he should not pay the water bill. But your the mother of his unborn baby he should help if he can. Babies are more expensive than a water bill. Trust me on that. But legally you are a adult even though your still in highschool. Because just helping with one bill is far better than paying it all yourself.

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Grown up, you will have baby soon. Life costs baby costs. You need to provide for your baby and you or your boyfriend depends what you arrange with him. You are not minor any more if you want to live with your mother you need to pay your half of bills

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Personally, yes you made an adult decision and got pregnant from that decision, you also decided to keep your baby and finish school, big props. As your mother I would not ask for any money for bills. Finish school and have the baby are the focus points right now. Then if you are still living there its time to get a job and save to help your boyfriend and you to be able to afford a place. I would want better for you and honestly if she’s worried about the water bill being higher it will stay higher and get even high, after the baby is born, so help get you out on your own and the water bill will go back down. Either way need to find a way to compromise until you are out on your own. Congratulations on the baby and for staying in school. Keep your head up!

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Why is there a conversation about a water bill? Water Bill’s are usually a very low bill. My opinion… he should not have to pay any Bill’s he isn’t living in. I understand you will be moving to where he is. If he is going to be saving to get you all a place this should be considered…he is away working not just playing around. Now… my opinion would be get yourself a job… parttime if necessary. Even though you are now pregnant you can still work. You are pregnant now so YOU have to step it up and figure out how to help with the household instead of just using the household. YOU will feel better about the entire situation in time. Maybe … it is one way your mom is trying to teach responsibility because it isn’t just you… you and him… but now there is a third person to be involved. Maybe look at this as a responsibility teaching time! You will be responsible for YOUR own and YOUR family’s necessities. Don’t let a water bill create a situation you can’t return from.

Your mom is being ridiculous

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He shouldn’t have to pay anything. You should. That being said if you have no income, she likely said he should pay because you have no money…

No your mom is being stupid, he doesn’t pay anything unless he’s living there, but if your getting money then you should be paying something, if your not because your mom earns to much and has to “keep” you then no, she has the money…

I think you should continue to pay. Him or you. Your an adult. If you cant afford to pay a water bill than what are you doing having a baby. Your in for a shocker.

Your moms ridiculous. I ain’t paying Bills to a house I ain’t living in, NOONE should. That is not his responsibility. As a mother, she also shouldn’t even be asking for money to help cover her child. Adult or not.

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Your moms wrong. Shes just upset and taking it out the wrong way. You’re in her house and still in school

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This is stupid. He shouldn’t pay utilities where he doesn’t live. Sounds like she’s just mad you’re pregnant. I don’t think you should pay it either . You’re still in high school and about to have a baby. If it was my daughter I would prefer her to stay focused on graduating and having that baby. Once you’re graduated and had the baby then yes you should contribute to the Bills until you can move out .

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I’m sure adjusting to this new way of life is as difficult for your mom as it is for you, but in different ways. It sounds like there may be a bit of resentment on her part for dad not physically being present and helping out with that bill anymore. Maybe sit down with her and try and come up with some sort of compromise. Is there anything (within reason, obviously) that you could take over around the house to relieve some responsibility on her part? Picking up groceries, etc? Communication is key and trying to come up with some sort of compromise shows willingness on your part to ease some of her frustration which may help in the long run. Good luck mama :two_hearts:

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Your priority should be finishing school. Your mother should make that her priority and the bill is not his responsibility. Your mother should be doing everything possible to make sure you finish school.

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You are your mother’s child and you are her responsibility not his. The child will be both of your responsibility. He isn’t responsible for any bills in a house he doesnt live in.

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Maybe it’s a test of character for your boyfriend. Asking/expecting him to continue paying a bill he was responsible for when living as couple and expecting a child will allow her to measure commitment, strength, and morals/values he will provide to you and upcoming child. You yourself are an upcoming mother which likely helps you to understand how much she loves and wants only for your happiness. I hope he measures up.

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Your focus now before the baby comes is staying in school. Your mom needs to get a reality check. Your bf is not obligated to pay her utility bill. When you move with him he then will be obligated to pay the bills in the home he provides for his family. If something happens between you two and you break up your mom has given you a glimpse of whet her expectations will be. I don’t think you would get off so easy as paying the water bill.

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Who is paying for the gas to take you to your doctors appts? Copays at the doctor, your maternity clothes? Your food, to help your child grow? Is the baby’s father helping in any way at all? He could at least help pay for gas for your doctors appt. You and him made a grown up decision to have sex, and make a baby. So since your still in high school, no job, no money, your baby daddy can help with something. It shouldn’t all be put on your mother.

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I think if you’re 18 you should be paying your own bills pregnant or not. Whether your bf wants to help you with that would be his decision

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You live there so its ur responsibility not his

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I had to pay my parent rent when I was 17 so… Pay the water bill.

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I don’t think it’s about money I think your mom is trying to get a point across. And yes you are in a way his responsibility he should be supporting you if you guys are together.

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Lmao no, he shouldn’t have to pay for anything. That’s her responsibility

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She should be paying all your Bill’s till you are 18. You are a minor. Therefore her responsibility

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FAN… WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HELP YOUR MOM? BESIDES USING HER UTILITIES, Eating her food, taking advantage of her.

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I see both sides. If he was paying it and now he’s not then your mom is use to that and without it she notices it and still needs it. If he can’t pay a utility bill for his family (she’s family too) and save too, then what’s that saying.

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:woman_shrugging: I think he/you should pay it. You decided to be an adult, you have to be responsible like one. You don’t want to pay one bill at her house, then move out and pay all of them somewhere else.

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I think your mums in the wrong tbh. Its scary becoming a parent at any age, but youre only young still. She shouldnt be making it harder for you. I know when I was 16 and pregnant my mum was one of my biggest cheerleaders, and I will forever be grateful for her guidance and love and support because without her I wouldnt be half the mother I am today. I think your mum needs to stop worrying about getting paid, and worry more about trying to guide you to be a better version of you for your baby.

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Its not his responsibility it’s yours.

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Why just the water, other facilities are for free?

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Your responsibility you’re 18. I moved out at 18 had a full time night shift job in a factory, an went to school full time. Graduated pregnant in 2018, things are achievable when you don’t rely on others you’re an adult.

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Maybe she’s trying to prepare you for what it’s going to be like to give all your money away to an infant.

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It doesn’t matter if she’s still in high school, she’s 18 and not her mother’s responsibility.
All you saying otherwise are wrong. She should get a part time job and help her mom with the bills.
She’s pregnant and made a big girl decision. She cant be an adult then pull the “I’m still a kid” card.
Choose which one you want to be. A mother or a kid.

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No you are their responsibility til you move out he does not have to pay bills in a house he doesn’t live in so you’re mom is wrong

You’re 18. The least you can do is help pay some bills.

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I know your young. Very young. And still may be considered a minor. But you have decided to bring a child into the world. Which means it’s time to step up. And start taking care of responsibilities and Bills. As long as your under your moms roof, either you or your childs father should contribute to the household that you’ll be bringing your baby home to.

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He shouldn’t pay any bills of anyones if hes not living in the residency.

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In my opinion he is not obligated to pay any of the expenses.

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If he is not living there he should not have to pay the bill. I see many people saying that you’re 18 and you need to step up and pay bills too but that’s just not true. You are 18 and still finishing high school. Your mother chooses to let you continue to live there even though you are 18. If she wanted YOU to pay that would make sense but trying to have HIM pay who doesn’t live there doesn’t make sense.

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Your both wrong. He isn’t responsible for the bill… you and your mom are. That’s awesome that he paid when he lived there but he isnt there and he is being an adult working at fixing a situation for you, him and the baby. Why doesn’t it say anything about you working also?? Your an adult now… going to school doesn’t pay the bills (although I will say kudos for finishing school) go to work part time while finishing school kuz once that baby comes there is no excuse of I’m too tired or I’m focusing on school… just being real. Moms go through school, work full time, come home, cook, clean, get their kid/s taken care of, and put to bed everyday. You don’t get a free pass simply being 18… if your home, you should be helping. I helped any time I’ve been at home with my parents. My mom has been on disability for many years now and recently thanks to an accident at work my stepdad got put on disability so I STILL help with things like example my phone since we have a family plan and it’s never been switched, etc etc etc. I recently had to come back to stay with my family due to getting into a car accident and losing everything thanks to injuries… I’m not capable of financial help right now from not working yet (doctor ordered to wait at least a year from my surgery date) BUT I STILL help with everything and now that I’m starting to get payments from insurance I ask if I can help with anything. It’s time to grow up… being pregnant has nothing to do with any of it. Sorry not sorry. I worked over full time during my pregnancy until my car accident when I was 5 months pregnant and almost lost mine and my sons life. I’m itching to go back to work and help my family and rebuild my life again. You need to go get a job even if it’s part time and help her and your boyfriend out.

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Talk about stupid young people - pull your head out of your ass nobody has to support you and child in a home that you don’t pay rent on dip ship

Find a job even part time and be a big girl since you made a big girl decision and got pregnant. You are grown now time to step up and act it.

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I don’t feel as if he should pay it, but you definitely should find a way to contribute.

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Your mom is still legally responsible for you.

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Ur 18… start paying ur way. U obviously have plans to leave to move in with BF. Since u arent working i see how she thinks ur BF should pay. Once ur living with him all those bills are yours to pay… pay the water show appreciation ur parents are still letting u stay at 18 and pregnant. If ur still eating there and getting everything else u need paying the water bill shouldnt be difficult.

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From a man’s point he’s doing the right thing he loves u and your carrying his baby and your mom’s taking care of u and the baby that’s a small price to pay, don’t put more pressure on yourself, your always going to need your mom help and she’ll be there stay strong

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Your mom is wrong and stupid as hell.

Helping your mom with some bills since your an adult is the responsibe thing to do. She could be charging you for much much more. Rent per say. Time to grow up.

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Your mum’s home! Your mum’s rules I guess! Help your mum more, cleaning cooking! Your an adult step up :cherry_blossom:

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Your moving out soon …so it shouldn’t be this huge of an issue …if I was the mother I would just let him save save save for you and baby and the house/apt …but if yall r tight on money …I think he should pay up …bc it sounds like maybe your fam has done alot for you and him …and his job sounds stable so why is 2 or 3 Bill’s tht big of an issue …if your fam has your back …you need to have theres … n

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You’re not his responsibility while living under your mothers roof. Once you move in with him that’s a whole different story. No one is responsible for another. You’re not a liability :woman_facepalming:t3: geeze. You technically shouldn’t be paying your mothers bills and nether should your partner. Mothers make ends meet all the way up until you move out and they do try their best. Not all mothers can work. If you do work here and there or you get money here and there from something just give her 150 for actually staying there. You really shouldn’t be paying her bills honestly. Us mothers have more than just water bills and electricity. We also have rent and other payments to make like food, clothes from here and there for the children. It’s not cheap nowadays so when you move out you’ll feel the struggle but with your partner working within a stable job and yourself having a job it won’t be that hard on you both. Good luck though with school and the pregnancy

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In my opinion you are an adult now. You are acting as an adult…you should resume the responsibility of one.

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Personally I believe she should let you guys save that money for the baby instead of technically paying an extra bill… If you’re planning on moving with him and he’s working for you and the baby he could offer to pay your half of it but not the whole thing.
Just me personally as a parent wouldn’t expect that of my expecting daughters boyfriend.
I lived with someone for years who expected a million times more than your mother though so I’d be grateful it’s just the water bill and not the mortgage and all the bills.
I’ve been where you are. She probably NEEDS the help.

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He isn’t living there so he isnt using any water so why should he pay. Say to her ‘if you had gone away for work for about a month and we got a water bill and said you need to pay this cos you where before you left even though you haven’t been here and used any of the water and oh yeah we need your share of the food bill even though you haven’t been here’

He shouldnt pay it. You should. Or at least chip in your share.

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I think the point your mother is making is if you and the boyfriend want to be adults and make a baby, then you both need to step up and take responsibility. You need to contribute to bills. Just like you would if you were living out of home. I think there’s more to this situation than just a water bill. If you don’t like your mother’s rules, move out… simple

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U R an adult now , no longer a child. I think U should help ur mother with bills.

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Maybe your mum is struggling and needs the help?

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I see where you are coming from but i also see where your mother is coming from too and for the most part I have to agree with your mother! Maybe she is trying to teach yall responsibilities. Was there any sort of agreemnet when he moved in that he started paying the water bill or did he just do it out of consideration? I mean your mom had you, she brought you into this world to care for and raise, not the baby you are carrying, that is his child, maybe she is trying to teach you and him that. You are 18 now, it is time you started learning how to pay bills and take responsibility for your actions. Also, if you have the baby before you move out, that baby takes money to feed, wash cloths, bathe, etc. That is yours and the daddies responsibility, not your moms.

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Also, are you working? If not then that may be another reason she is asking him, instead of you. Yall are acting as adults, making a baby and need to be treated as so. If for instance you lived there till you was 25, should your mom still pay all the bills? No! Its a water bill. Shich is probably the cheapest bill she has, be thankful, she is still allowing you to live there and giving you one of the cheapest bills she has. She could be asking for a whole lot more, since you will be soon using more electricity, groceries, water etc!

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No as the people living in that house should only be paying it. Also it’s your parents job to take care of you till you graduate or move out

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I was also pregnant at 18 and living at home and finished high school, but while in HS I had a part time job during the school year and helped babysit during the summer until I got pregnant. I moved in with my bf and at 6 mos prego he told me to get a job or move out. 23 years ago no one hired pregnant women due to liability. So I went back and lived with my mum. After hs and my son was born I got another job and my own place. I was 19 had my cna by the time I was 21 and my son was almost 3 years old by then. At 6 mos prego I became a single parent, but I did help my mum around the house just not with bills. Times have changed and things are different now. You’re able to get a job or at least try to get one and help. I would of if I had been able to. That’s just me though. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it! Good luck hun!

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at ur age pregnant or not u shd be helping out with something at least. the water bill is the lowest bill…be glad it wasnt the light bill ud be dying rite now lol!

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Your mom is wrong for asking him to continue to pay because 1 your not his responsibility and 2 you live with her you aren’t even li king together and hes doing what he needs to do ass if nnow for you himself and your child …idk your story but she can certainly ask u to help out

I don’t think he should be paying it as he dosent live there. How ever if she wants you to pay it and you have money coming in. I think you should pay it… I lived with my mom when I had my first and I helped pay for food and took on the hydro bill. My parents paid all other bills. Your having a baby now, they don’t have to support you both.

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Why do you think you shouldn’t have to contribute to the house you reside in? You’re an adult, not a child. Yes - either you or him should be paying some bills. If he’s out of town for work, and you’re still together, why do you think he shouldn’t have to help support his pregnant girlfriend?

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Jas Bisset l agree totally with you

Split the cost you use it so does she…

You need to pay the water bill

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There’s no way for her to enforce that. The best she could do is sue you for rent because you’re still living there. Should you help her if she needs help? I would think so. Should you have been more responsible? Definitely. Should you have to step up because you weren’t? Perhaps. But there’s still no legal way for her to enforce him paying her when he’s not living there. Perhaps if you set up child support payments, you could give part to her as rent, and the rest you keep for baby care until you move out. That would be responsible of you.

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You are pregnant with his child,which he is responsible for.So yes the water shouldn’t be to much.

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Either your mom needs the help, but doesn’t want to flat out tell you she does, or she wants you both to be responsible. Either way I think one of you should pay it. Welcome to adulthood. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I think Mom doesn’t want to admit that she needs the help.

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I think ur mom’s wrong

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Girl if your freaking out over a little ole’ water bill… at 18 and pregnant living off your Mother’s food, lights, clothes, toiletries, soap shampoo, laundry detergent, gas, etc… while your boyfriend ( practically husband works and saves money ) you are technically a family ( Wife & Mother) which mind you is a “ADULT ROLE” & Yall think Someone " owes" you Parent or not. Your sadly mistaken… you took on that Role plus your 18 your Mother owes you nothing. You BOTH should appreciate her help in this very bad predicament y’all have gotten yourselves into… Be Thankful your Mother/ Family cates enough to help you. You or him one pay the little ole Water Bill and Be Very Thankful for the Help… Time to grow up. If your moaning over a water bill you have a LOT TO LEARN & A LONG LONG WAY TO GO… PAY THE BILL AND SMILE :rose::grin:

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