My mom tries to make me feel guilty for not wanting any more kids: Advice?

I have a 4-year- old son, and I can’t picture myself having any more kids. I grew up in abuse and never really got to enjoy life. I lived in my car at 19, hardly had any food to eat, made minimum wage. I never got to go out and enjoy being young. I love my son to death… when he was born, I took responsibility and worked my butt off to give him a good life. I bought a house, got a good job, and his dad has been by my side every step of the way. My son is happy and thriving. My mom always tells me to give him a sibling. She tells me, “don’t be selfish” because I don’t want anymore kids. I sent her a silly clip of him making funny faces, and she replied, “Give him a sibling so he can seem more human,” and she told me that video of him is not normal. It was an innocent video of a little boy just making funny faces!! He has a sense of humor. I’m with my son every day, and he is a normal little boy, but she makes me feel like sh*t. Is it really wrong for a child to be an only sibling? I do everything to give my son memories even without siblings, but sometimes I feel guilty.


I’m happy with one … people tell me all the time to have another … I was tired of their responses so I told the last person “if your going to financially support my second child I’ll have one !” They shut up after that

It’s your choice to have children or not

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Don’t feel guilty . You were not put on this Earth to make her happy . Simple as that . Sounds like you have a great grasp on your life . It is not ever for her to decide now . If she wanted more kids , she could of had them . She is being delusional ,IMO

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Your life your choice …you set the rules for it. Period


She’s projecting her issues on to you. Your life, your decision.


Do not feel guilty . Do not allow your mom to put her wants on you! Your son don’t need a sibling . Tell your mother to go get her fix of newborns another way

It’s your life and your body. Whatever you decide is the right decision. You’ve done great so far keep up the good work.:pray::+1::heart:

If she starts mistreating you because you don’t live life how she feels you should and then insults her own grand child as a result chances are she’s a narc mother and shouldn’t be exposed to your child at great lengths anyway. No sound minded person digs at a child to in turn dig at you. That’s very very toxic.


Stop trying to elicit a normal reaction from an abnormal person. You are never going to hear what you’re hoping for from her. Love and enjoy your son every moment and look for healthy maternal relationships for yourself elsewhere; he may benefit, too. :heart:


If you don’t want a another child then don’t. He is normal so is my daughter. I adopted when she was 17 years old. She was the only child for years. I decided at last minute that I had more love to give

You have accomplished so much and doing a great job with your son. You’re not selfish you’re awesome :clap:t3:.


You only have children if you want them not to please anyone else-you sound as if you have got everything sussed-well done.

If one is all you want then stick with it. YOUR LIFE! Good luck hon!

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Listen to your instincts. You know what’s best for you. You are a great mommy!

i’m an only child and i’m okay. ur doing great girl. do what u want.

It’s your life if you want to have more or not but personally I’d give him a sibling it’s so much fun watching them grow together

Sounds like your a great mother despite the obstacles you have faced. Be proud of yourself and confident. It sounds like you’re doing a great job and I’m sure your boy is just fine💖

You lived in your car at 19 so her parenting hasn’t exactly been great. Tell her you’re an adult now and to mind her own business.

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Sounds like your mom is still abusive

If you’re taking good care of your little boy and all she these are things to be critical of oh, I think it’s time that you have the chat with each other. Let her know that she would not have liked it if someone had told her how many kids she should have had and how to take care of them and that is exactly how you feel. Tell her to let you be the best mom that you know how to be and to try not to be so critical. This is your life. It’s the only one you get and it’s the only one that your son will get so it’s best just to make your little family happy and not worry about if she’s happy or not. She needs to love your little one and don’t not him and have lots of fun with him if she’s not doing that already, then why would she want you to have more if she’s not spending time with the one grandchild she has.

Laugh at her and tell her to spit another one out herself… Geez


It is not wrong, ur life live it as u want. Speaking for myself a mother of an only son, I sincerely wish I’d given him a sibling. He’s successful outgoing & very social, but a sibling would have been great. However there’s no guarantee how any of them will grow up. So yes!!

It’s your right and responsibility to know what you are able to handle in your life. True that no time is the perfect time for a child/children and we never think we can afford it… that being said- those are the perfect reasons to start with on why you shouldn’t make your life and the life of the child/children already here any harder. Adulting is a bear sometimes. Hang in there!

Where was your mom when you were homeless? Tell her to step a few yards back. In due time, if you are ready, you will have a next child. Your mom has her priorities mixed up
And, not everything needs to be shared with others. Keep some private!

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Tell her to hush. You know what you want and what you don’t want right now. Let her know you find her comments bothersome and feel that she’s trying to pressure you into doing what she wants. If she can’t refrain, you will limit your time with her. You don’t have to subject yourself to things or people that make you uncomfortable just because they are family.


single children sometimes grow up a little selfish as they do not have to learn to share. But when you have 2 kids, its more than twice as much work. There is often sibling rivalry, jealousy, conflict. Raising a child is expensive and its more expensive with 2. You know what? You get to be selfish. you get to build the kind of like you want for yourself and your son. And if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the earth, which is over populated. Have you heard of climate change? Its real and it will affect your child or children as they may not have a world that is good to live in. Limiting the number of children you have is a wise thing to do. Best of luck, whatever you decide.


It’s your life. Do what’s best for you and YOUR family

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You mom sounds like a witch. If you only want 1 child that’s your business. Do not feel guilty. Stay away from her!


I got one I’m good don’t let nobody tell u to have more if that’s what’s best my child is spoiled enough I dont need another my bf wants another but it’s hard

No it’s not selfish, this is your life and you live it to the best of your ability. Love your son give him your time, be there for him, teach him right from wrong. When your Mother starts in say I love you Mom and just do you!


Its,your life if you and your son are happy and thriving nothing else matters

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None of her business !!! Do what you feel is right for you and your little family . She has no right to say that. Nine at all

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That is her problem . you do not need to have anymore kids if you do not wish

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I’m an only child and I loved growing up with my mom she is my best friend and I love her more then anything but as we get older she mentions she wishes she would have given me a sibling just for the purpose of when it’s her time to go to the other side she doesn’t want me to face that alone. I have 2 children 10 years apart because I truly thought I’d only ever have the one but turns out my youngest just spiced up our lives a little more then we ever thought we needed but she’s a perfect match and I know my children will have each other even when I’m gone :heart::kissing_heart:

Your life, your choices

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Tell her to hush. If you don’t want another child don’t it’s your choice your son with be nothing but loved either way by you. If you change you mind later than do it, but don’t let her make you feel guilty. It’s ok to not want another rchild

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Your bigger problem is your mother’s negativity and mean comments about her grandchild I would limit my contact with her

YOU need to set a boundary. Tell her that subject is OFF LIMITS. Tell her that you love her, blah, blah…BUT you absolutely WILL NOT tolerate her bringing it up again, and you are willing to cut off communication with her to make that happen IF YOU HAVE TO. On another note, I am the mother of a 25 year old only child. She is intelligent, she is kind, she is so empathetic. She also graduated with her bachelor’s degree at 22 yrs old, took a couple years off and is now back pursuing her Master’s degree. Her undergraduate degree was completely paid for by academic scholarships. Many people have told me, her teachers included, that one reason she is so phenomenal is because she had my undivided attention. She didn’t ever have to deal with the whole “sibling rivalry”, and she knew she was my one and only, she knew no one could ever compete with her when it came to my love, attention, and devotion…At 25 years old, she is also one of my best friends now. Most of my friends are jealous of her and my relationship, because she CHOOSES to hang out with her “ole” Mom, and we go shopping together, go to the movies, and take special trips too. It’s also a money situation. I could not have given her MANY of the experiences and opportunities IF I had to split the income with another child too…very important to keep that in mind! DO NOT let your Mother pressure you! SHUT HER DOWN! You do what you think is best for you and your child!

Don’t ever feel guilty for your choices. I’d tell her that I don’t want more children, mind her own business and that I won’t feel guilty for my choices.

I only wanted one and that is excatly what I had! An amazingly awesome young man now!! Yes he is selfish but is learning thru a wonderful young lady soon to be my daughter in law not to be!! I love him sooo much … Its perfectly fine to have just ONE!!!

I have a 3 year old that’s almost 4 and I’m currently pregnant with my 2nd and i wish i would’ve waited… Ik she’s your mother but she sounds toxic and like she only cares about herself not you or your son… You should create boundaries with her so she want continue to belittle you and start the same cycle with your son

I have an only child. For the longest time she did not want a sibling. She’s now 17 and wishes she had one. We can’t win. Do what’s best for you. Children are expensive. Unless she gonna fork out the money to raise number 2, I’d laugh at how crazy she sounds. Your body. Your choice.

Kids dont need siblings just wait soon he will have lots of friends and be doing sleepovers dont be pressured into something you dont want


I’ve known a few “only” children and they were as happy and well-adjusted as anybody else, though they may have had privileges that larger family’s children didn’t enjoy. Tell Mom you appreciate her desire to have more grandchildren, but you feel complete as a family, now. kids will have friends to interact with.

Dont worry about no one, you Live your Life for you n whats for you. She had her chance to raise you n habe another baby. You just Do You n be Happy for Only You. You is Beautiful N Strong for what you been through, Remember its Your Life not Hers, and You have your Baby Boy that you need to Lo e and Protect you. Thank you sharing your story

i have one child she had cousins and the not sharing is rubbish you teach them to share at home and when they play with friends etc sometimes friends they make in life are better than a sibling could be. its how you raise and only child they are not all selfish and cant share that is rubbish. you do what you feel is right not your mum telling you, life’s very short and you have to do what right for you.

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Tell your mom to F off!!! It’s your life if your happy with only one kid then only have one kid and give him the best life possible!!! I have an 11 year old daughter and she is my world, I’m like you in the fact that I work my butt off to give my kid the best life possible and I’m happy with just one child.

Listen to yourself. Wish most of my friends did, and now they are unhappy families, tired, exhausted, broken.

Dont never feel guilty for someone else shit, Let her go, Love your self n Son first, she had her chance

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She sounds narcisstic


Let no one guilt you into having more children. Your will be fully responsible for that child. If you only want one. It is what it is. If you want him to have interaction with other children that can be arranged :woman_shrugging:t5:

I get that whole only child thing from my daughter’s school not so much from family. Having another child just so the first can have a playmate ha no that’s not a reason to have another. Plenty of people I know only have one happy healthy child I would never say when is the next like they would never say that to me. No one knows anyone else’s situation.

Tell your mom she can have another kid if she feels your son needs a playmate that badly. Girl if one is all you want, good for you for knowing that and not having anymore. Your son will be just fine as an only child.


Do what you want not what anyone else wants. It’s your body. I have only one child my husband wants more we have our daughter that’s 8 I don’t won’t to bring anymore kids into this crazy messed up world we live in…

Don’t feel guilty. Do what’s best for you.

Stand your ground. Nothing to feel guilty about.

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I’m an only child. My mother offered to give me siblings and I flat out refused. Now, as the mother of an only child. I refuse to have more kids. My son keeps asking for siblings but I explained to him that it was not possible. And, I know for a fact I would not be able to take care of myself and more than one child. I did what I thought was best for my son and I. Believe me I know many people have passed judgement on me for it but it’s not their life and when things get hard no one is around to help. So, my advice is you do you. You and only you know what is best for you because at the end of the day you will be the only one there living your life. Best of luck to you!

What the hell is wrong with her? You’re being “selfish” ?SHE’S being selfish


Your mom sounds toxic. Sorry.


Tell her “dont be selfish” like how she allowed you to grow up. Tell her your body your choices and you are doing fine…an extra body would complicate your life too much.

What she is doing is wrong but don’t judge her. She is only portraying what she has been taught through her mother and her grandmother and so on. I am just learning this. The Mother Wound. Ideals of how a woman “should” feel are all part of the women living in a patriarchal society. They were dictated too about how a mother should act and what a mother should be and what compiles a “good” mother. She does not even realize what she is passing on too you. It’s just what she knows. You are in control of your reproductive life and just be understanding of her. I too had a hard time when my daughter decided she was not going to reproduce. I thought it was my fault and I was hurt that she was denying me of being a grandmother, but now I realize how selfish of me that was. It’s not about me. It’s about her living her life. You may want to learn more about the Mother Wound. It may help to understand where your mother is coming from. :heart:

Stop talking to these people in general… anybody who disturbs your peace needs to hit the road


Tell HER to go have another one

Only child here :raising_hand_woman: Perfectly happy all my life not sharing my shit…LOL

Damn girl, first of all let me applaud you because you are doing it amazing, feel proud of yourself because not everyone can achieve all what you did considering your situation in the past… the only person who have the right to give you an opinion about your family is your husband because he and your son are your family… you have 2 choices, you can ignore what she said or you just send her to hell and tell her to shut up…

We raised an only child, and for years my mom would say “it’s no sin to raise an only child”. There are times I felt she needed a sibling, especially now that we’re older and I hope she doesn’t have to handle things by herself when we’re gone. Now she only has one child and both she and my grandson are thriving and are well adjusted to life in general and believe me - he is all boy! Don’t feel guilty. it’s your life and your family’s life. Enjoy it!

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There are many arguments for & against having only 1 child ,but ultimately it is your decision .Your mother made her choices ,you make yours …
I have 4 (adult kids ) ,but do not advocate that for others
Something for you to be conscious of , is putting all of your ** expectations for your 'children ’ into that 1 child .
I have heard comments from ** only ** children saying they wished they had had a sibling to share things with.
1 that has stuck with me was * I was an only child , now I am an only adult . I wish I had someone to help me with decisions about care for my aging parents **
Keep in mind the lessons you learned from your mother re : parenting & know that you have a different style
Whatever your choices in life , do NOT allow anyone to make you feel guilty about them .

Everyone is skipping the part that you were abused as a child. Who did that to you? Where was your mother? Why did you have to live in a car at 19, again where was your mother? I don’t think you should worry about anything she says if she wasnt there to protect you. Only you can decide how many children you want because you have to care and provide for the babies. Being an only child is totally fine it doesnt make that child different. Do what your heart tells you


Your going to be alright… Follow your heart sweety

Your life your decision… Do what’s best for you

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I’m about to have my 3rd in december and I love all of my babies however sometimes I miss the simplicity of having only one! I get worried and anxious about how I’m gonna handle 3 young kids lol… my husband and I didnt talk about how many we wanted or how many we pictured having we just let whatever happened happen! We are able to care for our kids and we both love them and we were surprised but happy about each one! But do what is best for you and your little family not what others want you to do! I have been pregnant 8 times (5 miscarriages) so I’ve heard everything from “when are you gonna have a baby” to “when are you gonna give her a sibling” to “why dont you just get fixed” and I replied the same way each time “when my husband and I feel like it, our family our choice” of course that doesn’t completely shut anyone up but its your family and your choice because when it comes down to it you and the father are gonna be the ones responsible for any babies yall have!

You don’t owe anyone kids. Live your life, and tell your mom to respect you.


She sounds toxic for you and your son. I recommend that you keep contact with her to a minimum or have none at all. No one should ever make you feel guilty for having one child, and he’s not missing out on not having siblings. Especially when there’s cousins.

My son is an only child and he is just about to graduate from college. He was a happy kid growing up and him and I have an awesome relationship. He will be just fine without a sibling.

This is completely your desicion whether you want more children or not your mother.has no business butting.into your are a full grown.women you set.her.straight get a back bone and tell her this stops.or.she will not see.her.grandson or you. Your doing fine with.the one child good luck

Don’t. Her issues not yours. If you are all happy , except Mum, then don’t worry live the life you have have built and do what makes you happy.

Ugh, I hate when someone tries to guilt you into having another baby. My husband’s uncle got mad at me when I said we were stopping at 2. (He himself has only 2 kids) At a family get-together he told me that we needed one more, and I asked him if he was going to raise and pay for it? He hasn’t opened his mouth since. Baby, do not feel pressured into doing anything for another person. Your one kiddo will be perfectly fine being an only child, just keep doing what you are doing. :heart::heart::heart::heart:

Do what is best for you and your family. It is your life. I am an only child…and contrary back to a long time ago when I was his age…everyone thought only children would be loners, anti social etc. I am not. Perfectly ok to be an only child. This is one time I can say…Do not listen to your mother!

Do what is best for you

Do what is right for YOU. It is YOUR life.

Are you and your partner on the same page about the number of kids to have? That’s all that matters. Your mother needs to sit her nosey ass down and stay out of other folks’ business. You’re her kid but you’re grown with your own family and she has no right sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong. Tell her to stay IN HER LANE!

She’s your mother not your counselor tell her to mind her own business

My daughter is 29 and o

It is onky your business as to the number of children you choose to raise. Think i’d have to tell mom to butt out. Your child is happy. That’s what counts.

My daughter is 29 with a 13yo son who is the best

Tell her to mind her own!!

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You do you hun …sorry but stuff your mum :heart: Tell her to have another baby


I am the mother of one and have never regretted my decision I did what was best for me.

it’s your call, not your mothers

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Important question here is what do you want ? And do whatever makes you happy


I only have one child and she is doing great! Ignore your mom … she’s an ass


Do what you ypu think is best … for you… your son… your life .Your life , your body ,your choice :+1:t2:

It’s your choice , not for her or anyone else to say .

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Put him in sports! Volunteer at them and stock your fridge with food! Soon you’ll have a bunch of kids over and send them back home! It’s your body your world. You don’t want more that’s ok! I dont want more either! My daughter is just enough for me! And if I need more we go to the park and take lots of food! Lol

Don’t feel bad, if you don’t want anymore kids, you don’t have to have more kids. It’s up to you and your child’s father.

Thats what school is for and parks? A child does feel alone but it’s your choice if u feel u want another kid. I enjoyed my baby for 7 years alone but I was the other kid getting on the slide playing with her and she had cousins. However I did have more kids and they all enjoy each others company which I love seeing now that there older. Don’t feel guilty. Maybe u should have your mom babysit so she remembers how difficult it was to raise u and your siblings…

Stop feeling guilty and tell mom to mind her business!

Tricky one. It’s your life and your call and if u r all happy then fuckoff mum.
That being said i agree with your mum. I have a niece who’s an only child she’s 6 and has EVERYTHING INCLUDING All attention BUT she tells us all the time she’s unhappy and lonely, after coming here to visit with my four and then the other side of the family where she has multiple cousins she does go home wishing she had that.

Get him a puppy to grow with and later train Rover to attack when your mom has an opinion that is irrelevant to your life :blush::+1:t4: