Now again 2 years later she has a job she hasn’t sent anything of mine in a year and recently I’ve seen her using my belongings that were packed around her home in photos she’s sent me. My brother who lives in the apartment above her recently took me on a fb vid chat around his home and proudly showed me his lounge (my lounge) and his sons room which was fully furnished in my sons belongings including his shoes and teddy bear from his dad. My brother thought it was hilarious when I called him on it. He basically said well you left it so there’s not much you can from there. I contacted local police and they basically said the same thing,
If there anyway I can press charges for theft or anything it’s so frustrating they my late husbands ashes and have threatened to flush them down the toilet if I attempt to reclaim my sons belongings or call the police on them again!
Honestly, I would just ask your mom for your late husband’s (sorry for your loss) stuff and that’s that… She agreed but there was nothing that would prevent her from breaching the agreement, there’s nothing you can do as you didn’t catalogue everything you left on her care or put the agreement in writing…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom won't give me my things, what can I do?
I reckon you need to fly back out there and handle things yourself.
Not sure how much you can do about what was lost but you can resolve to not make that mistake again.
I would be taking a flight right back there and Handle it myself. Oh and whoop your mamas ass. She deserves it 
Isn’t it illegal to flush ashes?
So much for “family”
Is there any way you can plan a trip and not tell your mother or brother? Just show up and start packing the most sentimental important things for your son? That’s really horrible treatment by your mother but I would just let them keep the bigger things and furniture. There’s No Way I would go out of my way to help her ever again. So sorry!
Cut them off
Karma will deal with them.
- A 65k trip?? Where did y’all even go?!
- You left your belongings there and there is nothing the police can do about that.
You lost me at 65k trip. If you have all that money available why not send your things yourself before you left?
Personally its just things. Id just call it a loss and move on. But id damn sure show up at the door for the sentimental belongings! Ashes, bear etc.
Get a lawyer and see if they can do something about it
Well I think I would have taken the ashes with me if I were you considering that’s a sentimental thing to have. Your son has likely grown out of anything you left so if your nephew is using them I think I’d be happy they’re at least being used. However you shouldn’t have left anything you wanted back behind. That was your fault and no police or court is going to likely help you get anything back aside from the ashes. If you had $65k for a trip you most certainly had enough money to ship all your belongings to the US to begin with.
Some family I’d write them off to do that to your son your mom is no better than your brother
Why didn’t you take the ashes with you? That would have been the first thing I would have taken. It seems like it’s been a while since you moved, wouldn’t you think your son may have outgrown those clothes and toys by now? I wouldn’t press too hard on that kind of stuff. I would absolutely try to get the sentimental items though. You seem to be well off, maybe plan a trip there to retrieve some of the items. I would talk to a lawyer first.
the simple answer, cut them all off and let them all fend for themselves. Never allow for them to make contact with you again. You’ll never see your things
Go back and get it or move on. I had to leave all my things behind once and lost it all. You’ll get new things and will move on from it. At the end of the day its all materials. Try not to be emotionally attached to “things.” Slowly you will build yourself back up.
I’d bid that part of my family off. Sorry but it’s worse than disrespectful. Just gross all the way around. I’m sorry you have to endure knowing they’re cruel and was using you.
I would let it go and never speak to them again. They don’t sound very nice. I wouldn’t help them either.
Sounds like you had money. Sounds like your mama also raised you and gave birth to you you can never repay her for that. She owes you nothing she gave you life
Its 2 years later the clothes wont fit.
Ask for the keepsakes and ashes and leave it as that.
Also stop guilt tripping your mother about the trip and rent free time.
Thats horrible
Where are you from? Just asking so I don’t go there.
Id surprise them there and take my stuff.
You’d have to seek counsel in the country the items are in. Doubtful You’d get help
I would fly back home and demand the ashes and the most important items. Narrow it down to items you just can’t see yourself lose. Sit down and write a list and next to it put your reason why you want that one specific item. When you get there tell them they can have everything BUT that list. You don’t want drama or anything of that nature and they can let you know how they feel about it later. If they can read your list and your reasonings as to why you should have that item and say no then just write them off completely. At that point it would be obvious that they don’t care about you. Someone who cares wouldn’t be able to hurt you over something like that. Hopefully they will agree. Kids grow quick a lot of that stuff probably has been replaced by now I’m sure so just ask for the keepsakes and be done.
I would only push for keep sakes and your late husband’s ashes anything else can be replaced and I would have zero contact with them after
“allowing her to live with me rent free for 2 years…” It’s your Mom I’m pretty sure you lived a period much longer than two years in her home rent free not to mention that time you were in her womb.
I wouldn’t ever ask my mom to repay me for anything. She deserves to be taken care of as she took care of me. Right?
Can you get another relative to intervene on your behalf?
I would ask for at least the ashes and just cut ties. With family like that who needs enemies…smdh
Far out. Normally I’m not a big fan of “ name and shame” but maybe those who think they’re decent people should know about this and maybe someone can talk sense into them. What a shitty grandmother/mother and uncle/brother.
These comments ain’t it. How TF are y’all gonna tell her to just get over it. They’re withholding her dead husband’s ashes. They’re trash. Point blank period. Baby I would fly back and take the most important things. Basically what you can put in a suitcase. You’re going to have to leave some things obviously but you’ll be able to get the most important things. Don’t tell them you’re coming and take a police esscort if you can. The second you step foot out of that house delete, block and never look back.
It’s considered abandoned property. You can’t do anything about it. So much for family huh. I feel ya.
Did you say 65k trip or 6.5k trip.
Either way this would be a lesson learned not to trust others with your belongings and you cant really expect someone else to make sure all of your stuff is moved to another country. Personally i dont like to depend on anyone else , i would have took care of it before , bringing or shipping what I really needed and discarding what I can live without.
Its sad but I mean sending a box a month and there’s 23 boxes, so over 2 years of sending a box every month?
Just go back and get them. You don’t sound poor. But if those things meant that much to you, why didn’t you take them with you?
Well isn’t it your house/apartment I’d sell the fucking house on some petty shit. They wanna play games welp make a trip and put the place up for sale 
Go back at get your things.period
I didnt read it all… send your mother money to send your things
What happens if she passes away? Sorry for the question, but are you responsible for any action taken if and when that happens?
you have the memories let the rest go including the people who don’t love or respect you
Could she have dementia?
Fly back n take whTs yours and have it shipped yourself
Tell your mom you want your stuff or you’re suing her for all the money you spent on her ,rent,etc,her apartment,or she can send your stuff of your son’s memories of his dad and his dad’s ashes the rest of the stuff you can replace.but not memories.
Cut all ties with them and show up pretending to visit get ashes and then call the police
I would only be upset over the ashes the rest can be replaced
Just ask for your husband ashes an move on…
Can someone in your country go get the ashes? Do you have a visa to return to your country? This may be something you just have to accept that is gone. You have the memories, no one can ever take those. Write them down so you can pass them on.
65 thousand $$$ trip?? Jesus! Where was this to???
Seriously at this point just show up there, get your stuff and mail it back yourself. Fly home and be done with it!
If you want your stuff, go get it. It is clear she has no desire to send them to you.
Just get the ashes and teddy bear and move on… everything else can replaced
That’s weird to bring your deceased husband’s ashes to your new marriage just saying 
Omg, pay to have your stuff delivered to you. You leave your mom penniless and have expectations of her shipping 23 boxes to another country. You sound delirious. You should of spent the money getting irreplaceable items sent at the time of your departure. You sound entitled, and kind of cold.
I wish I had my mom here on earth. Material shit don’t go to your grave with you, get over the petty shit and take responsibility for your own belongings and harboring crazy feelings of seeing someone using what you left behind. 
I would pretend to visit and gather up all the most important things and take it.
I’m sorry to say this but your going to h e to go to civil court and sue your mom it’s sucks but it’s the only way to get your money back for the trip and your belongings before you do ask them to send you house your videos say you need ideas for your your house to furnish it and save the videos to get a rough estimate of how much she owes you because now since she hasn’t sent you the boxes she’ll have to pay for the vaca you paid for AND YOUR belongings on top of that
Forget about. Tell to send you the ashes.
I’d ask for the ashes, and the stuff your husband gave to his son. Everything else can be replaced and isn’t worth it.
I would also cut off contact with your mother and brother, they seem super toxic.
Get the ashes. Let the rest go
Forget it. Material stuff can be replaced. I would just ask for ashes. Obviously she is an interested person tell her you’ll pay her to send them. If she still not cooperating and threatens to flush down toilet, let her know that’s where her ashes going to end up.
I think it’s better for you not to pursue this. As you are going to lose a lot of money, time and your emotional will be taken to the ground.
I would request just the most important things, like your ex husband ashes and emotional stuff like the teddy bear.
Don’t think too much about the material things and the furniture. They didn’t respect your wishes on the first place, however at the same time you are trying to hold on into many things.
Since, you are starting a new life on a new country focus on that. Just try to get your son his dad stuff. That it’s very important has this was given to him.
All can be replaced except your son’s fathers ashes that makes me so sad. That is just so hateful. I’d go back out get a peace officer and get your belongings back
If you had that much to do all of those things why in the world did you leave your belongings there that meant that much? I’m honestly asking because that does not make any sense to me as to why you would do that. She couldn’t afford a place so you got her one and paid months rent on it but you expected her to be able to afford rent which she hadn’t been paying for years and international shipping to send you boxes you chose to leave behind? I really don’t understand this at all. Unless you’re going back in person to visit and simply take at least some of the most important things then I wouldn’t bother. Here if you leave it for I think it’s 3 months it’s no longer your property because you made the choice to leave it there
Go for a visit and get your things.
so you moved to another country and expected someone who wasn’t working and had no money–until they started working again to send you 23 boxes of stuff and furniture???
I’m thinking it was an escape/refugee situation where she had to flee in a hurry and she can’t go back to the country without being in danger: Syria, China, North Korea, Afghanistan, various African dictatorships, or countries with terrorists like Taliban, Islamic State, Hamas, Boko Haram, kidnappers or drug kingpins, etc.
I’m a mother and I’d not use either of that or expect my children to take care of me down track they can choose to or not to
Nothing u can do after 30 days without a written contract notarized and done before the court
Shut her out. Hopefully you took the things with you that meant the most
Buy an airplane ticket and go get ur things !!!
I would fly there pretending to visit and take the special things you want back. Then never speak to them again.
Sounds like you should have paid to just have those boxes shipped to wherever you went since you just said she had no money or anything.
Yikes…this is your MOTHER. YOUR REASON FOR EVEN BEING ALIVE.
Cut them out of your life, they are treating you like crap! And yes, it IS theft.
Just save up and show up at her door… take the sentimental items that can never be replaced and wash your hand of the rest, including your trash mother and brother…
Pull up with movers and a truck get your things have the police on the way and proof that its yours
She’ll just keep using them as a tool to have control over you. Cut your losses and say good bye
Maybe just bargain for the ashes and any of dad’s possessions left. Call the rest a loss and move on.
Sad to see, I went through something similar except it was my mother in law and she put me through hell she still has my partners ashes and half our belongings I went and seen a solicitor an they can take them to court but they told me I’d be looking at over 10 thousand dollars maybe even more but you can take them to court
$65,000 for a trip 
You need to visit get what you can and write them all off. They would destroy with there emotional terrorism.
There are no words. Just WOW! Is she mad at you? I can’t get imagine why she would keep his ashes. That’s sad on her part. That’s all I can think of as to why she’s being so mean. There is more to this than her just withholding all your stuff. She really mad at you. This is her way of telling you talk to a lawyer about getting his ashes and then go from there.
Girl go back & take everything back & cut them completely off.
Sounds like you just have to take a Loss unless you want to make a trip back to get it all
Honey, mark these insane people off your list and go about your life. Never look back. Enjoy your children . The family you left behind are mentally insane. They have to be to think like they do.
you left it all there how can it be theft? Lol 
there’s absolutely nothing law enforcement can do (ning Jack shit) Lol don’t even waste courts time 
you want it go get it … Lol
65k trips, 3k speakers and all the glorious things you gave her (pretty penny) and you couldn’t afford a storage unit or pay for your own move?
Betrayal hurt and pain. Toxic Mother. She truly envied you and then helps your brother out who never cared if she was living on the street. Block them. Don’t let those material things be your attachment to them. Let Go of what you had. Your son will accept what has been done. Your husband ashes aren’t your problem. Let Go. You are Free from those who can’t love you they way you want it to be. You are Worthy. You are Loved and you are beautiful 
Don’t look back look forward cut them out of your life
Sad thing to say but your going to have to chuck it up as a loss & cut them off for good.
Did you leave your son with your mother ?
Ok so yes really messed up situation period! But your sons things… it’s been two years so I’m sure the shoes and clothes are just a loss period! But the ashes and personal things like the teddy bear, watches and person things to your late husband are important! Let them keep the rest of the things you have lived without for two years and just try to get the personal things back! Play nice and explain to them that they can keep it all besides those personal items, even pay to have them send them if needed and once you do get the said items cut that “family” off for good! That’s not family! Rather anyone wants to believe it or not but family can be toxic and being family doesn’t ever give a right to use and disrespect another person! Period!! Best of luck❤️
Why don’t you go Over there and get your stuff in person
I wondering how much you cost your mother? If she start list how long that will be…
Sweetie I know it hurts by what they are doing to you. They probably have gotten rid of the ashes already and are only using them against you. As awful as they sound. I also would be distant from them - apparently they wouldn’t be or have what they have without you. People like this never keep it for long because they haven’t worked for it. They are very disrespectful young one.Sorry to hear family treat family like this my friend. Remember to those are only material things they can be replaced -you got your baby and yourself - that’s all that matters really -Right- May Our Mighty Creator Bless You sweetie always.
I’m trying to figure out where in the hell you take a trip that is 65k?
Get your friends to gather your belongings and send them to you.and cut them both off.what a pack of arseholes.
There are a lot of people on this post who I hope never procreate. If you seriously believe the OG poster owes her mother anything, then you know nothing about being a parent.
They sound horrible. They can’t get your stuff because you left it there for soon that they can say it’s now there’s. It’s not right at all. You should go back and get your husband’s ashes.
Probably your only recourse is to take a trip there and mail your belongings to yourself. So sorry that happened. 