Wow they can giveadvice but can’t keep the there word either…there words mean shit to me now
Take a Trip there with the Police to get your belongings or let a Judge here it out in Court !! Dam if you cannot trust your own Mother that,s Bad !!!
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Honestly your belongings are most likely gone , just ask for the ashes and move forward without them! And start a new life
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Why didn’t you bring the ashes with you when you left?
Girl I’d be livid. Is there anyway u can make a trip back home and grab the ashes and the most important things everything else let go u can buy more but ur his fathers things n ashes u can’t replace they have significant memories if anything grab the ashes that should be a crime like tampering with a corpse( kinda)
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Jusyly forget about them and live your life the best that you can.
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Sounds like your screwed!
Why are they being so cruel after you’ve done so much to help??
Well if it was that important and you have all this money wouldn’t you have taken the stuff with you… sounds like there’s a lot more to the story then what’s been said
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You’re either going to go collect your shit in person or let it go. Don’t be stupid and call the police again. At this point,you’re making a bigger clown of yourself.
I would make a trip and get my thing meaning everything that you left including your furniture even if I had to give it to strangers
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How many years did you live with your Mom for free ?
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I don’t understand this story BUT, when you said: she leave rent free in my house, amazed me how you gonna said that when your momma raised you. It’s no money or price if my mother stay with me for free.
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You are probably out of luck, even going there may not get it back. That’s terrible
This whole thing is just so weird… It’s just stuff and you clearly can afford it in fact, it is probably cheaper to get new clothes and stuff than to send all that stuff to another country. Travel to get the very important things ( ashes, pictures and stuff with sentimental value) and leave the rest for your family. If they are toxic staying away might be the best anyway. Moving on and healing is what your soul needs
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Take a little unannounced trip and get your stuff… by no means let them know you’re coming bc I feel like if they were to know ahead of time they would deliberately do away with his ashes out of spite! As long as you get those and the other sentimental stuff ( that can’t be replaced) for your son don’t worry bout the rest of the stuff … and if they’re that evil that they want to hold your husband’s ashes “hostage” away from you and his son, her grandson, then you don’t need them in your life. I hope it all works out for you
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Girl if you taking ppl on 65k trips you can get your stuff! But being it’s been 2 years since you abandoned it I doubt you can get any of it back.
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Lady if I were you , I would forget the whole thing,and the whole family.
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I feel so awful for you and I don’t have any advice 
but my heart is aching for you, I can’t believe your family have done you like this/treated you this badly… when you have been so kind and you’ve gone through a lot. You’ve done a lot for them… and now they have the audacity to disrespect you like this . I’m just so sorry and feel for you 
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I would tell my family fuck you, your dead to me and never speak to them again.
Wow sever the relationship that just about the most disgusting thing anyone could do or threaten to flush the ashes?!. If you can go back do and if not mourn the loss and move forward quickly.
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I had similar done to me when I moved. They just took everything and nothing I could do.
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The clothes won’t fit your child anyway. Why didn’t you take the ashes with you? I would let it go.
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Don’t expect others to be happy for you if your doing better then they are and you left all your belongings then expected them to .ail them. If they meant so much. Why in the world would you leave the ASHE’S OF DEAD HUSBAND??? THEN be mad because they used the stuff you left years ago that’s petty
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Usually a landlord or roommate only has to hold onto things for a month then it is no longer yours
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At this point you will have to count all that as losses.
Cut your family of and be done. No drama is better.
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It’s just stuff really sadly! Write them all off have a good life the best revenge
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Fly back and take what u want and what u can take. The rest will have to be lost for good. They’re just material things. But
U should definitely get the ashes back. Good luck.
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What kind of trip costs 65K?!
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I would be going back to get my dead husband’s ashes. What the hell woman.
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Why in the world can’t you just physically go there?
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You can sue her for whatever but she can counter sue for storage fees. What gifts you gave her before mean nothing. But besides all that, if you can afford a $65,000 vacation I’m sure you can afford to replace clothes that won’t even fit you or your child anymore.
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Fly back and get the ashes and sentimental things or see if another family member can retrieve it and send it. Cut everything else as a loss. If this is costing you your peace to continue speaking with them then take you a break away from communicating with them!
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Yes… definitely press charges and do everything you can to get your sons stuff back and your husband’s Ashe’s!!!
Michael Sdrolias this makes me so angry
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Fly back and get your stuff but do not tell them you are coming! So they will not be ready for you! I would not send or give anymore money to help support them ever again!
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This is awful but I feel like if you can afford a $65000 TRIP (what? by private jet?) you could have afforded Shipping. and also… started with the important stuff like the ashes etc. i feel like this was carelessness
it’s still theft, and theft sucks, no doubt. but we don’t leave our purses in the front seat of the car overnight either
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You can’t do anything from this country, you’d have to go back and deal with it. Is it really worth it? if you have enough money to blow on a 65k trip etc. surely you’ve been wise enough to save some. cut your losses
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Get on a flight miss money Bags and collect your stuff.
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Wow you sound rich and like to rub money in your moms face how about you send her money to ship the boxes internationally
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Can i just be nosey where the hell did u go away to for 65k just outta interest
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Can you fly back and get your things? … Your mother is a disgrace and so is your brother… They should both be ashamed of themselves…
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My Mom stole some stuff out of my house when I was out of town. I tried for a little bit to get it back, then wrote it off, it wasnt worth the crap I was going thru. It wasn’t easy, but it helped me to move on. 2015 I completly broke contact, best thing I ever did, a lot less drama.
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I’m sorry, but what kind of mother Steals from her children?
She sounds despicable.
Go back, collect the most important things, and make a clean break from your mom and brother.
Good luck, sweetie.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom won't give me my things, what can I do?
What the actual fuck. I hope this post is all made up shit. I would be so disappointed in my daughter if she said things the way you have Your mum must have done a pretty good job raising you herself if you had enough money by yourself to allow her to live with you “rent free” for 2 years and take her on a 65k holiday etc etc. She must have struggled her life for you to get a better one. And no offence id never bad mouth my mum for living with me etc when she was in an unstable position. If be so happy I’d be able to help my mum who raised me. And I wouldn’t ever call it a way to pay me back sending stuff surly should just be because it’s a right thing to do maybe . However if she was struggling financially. Maybe if u have so much money u could hav offered to pay for your shit to be posted to you.
However the bit about the items being used and threatening to bin the ashes. Thats real messed up. I think a lot of things get said in the heat of the moment n cant be unsaid. Well id like to hope was something like that.
Mental swear
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She’s your mom?! Even if you did take her on a once in a lifetime trip, she’s brought you up, struggled, managed, you agreed one box a month, maybe she is having money difficulty to ship those boxes every month!!
My mom wasn’t a good mother to me through my childhood snd into my teens, even through my twenties!!! But she’s my mama!!! If you’re booking a 65k trip around the world that’s on you!! Who else spends that on a holiday?? 65 thousand?? Are you kidding me??? You’re mom has raised you, cooked your dinners for years on end, took you and siblings on holidays , paid the electric the water the gas, the internet, and you’re going on because she hasn’t shipped your boxes?!
Why shouldn’t you let your mama live with you rent free and bill free for two years?! She literally pushed you out of her vag!!! Yes some mothers fuck up, yes some mothers are shit, but it doesn’t seem to me like she is one of those?!!!
Suck it up sweetie! She’s your mom, and in this day and age, you need to respect that!! One day your kids will do the same for you, would you like to think they would then publish their angst at, and about you on a Facebook page?? She’s your bloody mother?! Is it just me?!
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Am I the only one here who thinks that kids don’t owe anything?
“She fed and housed you growing up?” Was her mum meant to dump her in a cardboard box and have her hunt for rabbits? I’m sure the government have agencies for when you don’t meet your child’s needs… oh yea!! Child protection 
2 consenting adults made an agreement and adult 1 didn’t hold up her end up the deal and used adult 2s good nature. And the fact it’s her late husbands and sons stuff just shows more about adult 1s character as a person!!
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You don’t owe your mother nothing. Some of these women on here are toxic. It was her decision to bring you into the world and yes she may have done a brilliant job raising you but she is using you and taking advantage because she knows she can from such a distance! Her behaviour after how you have looked after her is absolutely despicable…
If I were you of your able, i would fly out and take as much of the belongings as you can.
Then you don’t even have to rely on her
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“but she’s your mother” is probably one of the most toxic sentences. She might be your mother but she isn’t acting like one. Do what you need to do to get yours and your sons thing back and your ex husbands ashes. If you still have receipts to prove you purchased your sons goods you’re good to go
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Can’t believe how many people think the mums behaviour is OK because she gave birth to her and brought her up. It doesn’t give you the right to do what you want and be a d*ck
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Where did U go for 65k is my q ?
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Im sorry this has happened to you and it’s so wrong! Especially all of the keepsake stuff for your son, that breaks my heart:broken_heart:
threatening to flush your husbands ashes just shows how little she cares for you and your son, HER grandson:pensive:I have no advice but feel so much for you and hope things turn around for you and your family!
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Just go down and take them. I know it’s a bit far away. Police are full of shit can’t do anything. If you have proof they are your belongings and their mocking you then they defo can do something
Lawyer up is my best advice.
I want to give you a hug, but also why would you leave such valuable/sentimental possessions with someone who is obviously a deadbeat moocher. Perhaps you have contact a lawyer who can attend the property and collect the ashes. If they use enough legal speak they might be able to intimidate them into handing over the most important items and be able to send them to you? Idk this is a very shitty situation. I hope you get your husband’s ashes and your son’s items from his dad back. Sorry your family is shit.
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You let her live with you rent free for two years… Ain’t you such a nice daughter… By the way how long were you living with her rent free growing up???
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I’m sorry to read that your going through this but is there not a way you can talk to your mother and just explain how this has made you feel and to why she has only sent 2 boxes?? And for otherrrsss!!! It’s not about mother and daughter and who brought who up etc etc, it’s the fact that she had packed her stuff and their agreement was for one box to be sent a month!! After the second it stopped… yes maybe her mum may be having money difficulties but as stated “she has a job” and then to threaten to throw her late husbands ashes down the loo… who even does that 
!! Also not to point out yess another point is that someone else is now claiming her sons stuff that his also been waiting for as theirs who also even does that too 
, and oh look another point she’s asking for advice not to be slated and for keyboard warriors to be at her throat like SLICE!! If you don’t have nothing nice to say than just move on!!
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You appear to have money, can you not fly back and take your stuff yourself? Pay for it to be shipped back?
Fuck that bitch, rock up without them expecting you and take it all
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom won't give me my things, what can I do?
The mother is not the bad guy here. U didn’t do ur job in planning to have all ur kids and urs things ready to leave with u when u made the choice to move so far away for a man. Did u not think of any of this while planning to move?
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Cut your losses and hold onto the memories. Karma is a bitch. Just them to God and wish them no ill will. God will bless you
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I dont know but the way my husband and I was raised was our families took care of us and now its our turn to take care of them but right now we all take care of each other. However if my family did that (they wouldn’t)but if they did if take them to court over it with all receipts from said stuff you paid for for proof of agreement about shipping yall had made together. However holding what you do for them or have done for them is also wrong as its not about the money or all that you’ve done for them,its about you made the choice to leave it and with all that trips and stuff you paid for you should be able to afford to hire a company or fly and get it yourself or go to court over it. The family has done you wrong I agree but holding what you’ve done for them over there head is just as bad as wrong,forget about the money for a minute and its all about your stuff and you could go to court.
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You might have to count all your stuff as “things lost in the fire.” It sucks, I know. Your mother and brother sound like very selfish people based on your story. I would suggest you cut ties and go on to live a happy life. Try to move forward, if you can. Don’t let their actions bring you down or make you bitter. Hope it all works out and sending strength/good vibes your way.
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Your family sounds terrible.
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Just let it go, consider it as donation for the needy! Make peace with your attachment with things from your past so that you can move on and be happier!
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See if you can get your brother to mail the things that MATTER- not the material things…keepsakes, ashes, etc.
Everything else can be replaced.
I’m sorry that your family would do this especially w/ the threats…decide what you can forgive as far as the harsh threats.
You’re moved away from the toxic family, it’s now your choice as to how much you allow into your life.
Don’t fight for the small shit, be civil & make a list of what really matters & that cannot be replaced.
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Ignore the hate on here… I’d suggest you ask a friend or another relative to wrap up your things and post it to you. Clearly your family cannot be trusted to do it for you anymore.
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Possession is 9/10 of the law if you don’t have it in writing there is not much that can be done. If you can I would try and go back and get it otherwise cut your losses. I would not have left the important things behind. Ashes ECT if they were so important
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So 2 yrs later? Honestly… If you took your mom on a trip… Thats a gift. If you took het in to help her… Then that was your agreement. You’re saying she doesn’t have money but shes supposed to send YOU your stuff from another country? You should have taken with or shipped. 2 yrs later… Those clothes wont fit your child. Id ask them to send the keepsakes. You send the money to have your things shipped
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I would have cancelled the 65k trip and shipped myself all my things to whatever country I was going to… 
Yeah it sucks they’re using your stuff … but items can be replaced. Except the ashes and keepsakes. Now that they should send for sure, everything else… just charge it to the game… get better things and move on. Besides Karma always catches up in the end. I would fly back though and get the ashes though
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Idk about your child, but mine certainly don’t fit in clothes from a year ago haha. So as frustrating as it is that they are using them as hand me downs without permission, cut the loss. Play nice and offer money for them to send the things of value such as the ashes instead of wording it like “well I gave you x y and z of mine so do it free because you owe me”, etc… Or, fly back to get them yourself as others have stated…
Random side note, I’m just curious where you went on vacation that was 65 thousand dollars?!
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Your either going to have to fly back and get the stuff yourself or just let it go and cut off ties with them. What they are doing is wrong but legally nothing can be done…
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It’s stuff that you really didn’t want, if you did, you would have taken care of it. You know how your mom is. Cut your losses and move along. Besides, it’s just stuff.
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The only way I see you getting it back is to physically go there and get it back. Just the important sentimental things, ashes and sons fathers things, let the rest be. I’m not sure why you didn’t take them when you left, but there’s a reason and everyone saying it’s your fault can go kick rocks.
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I’m just shocked you’d leave all that stuff behind if it was that important to you. By the way you boast about your money, I can’t imagine you couldn’t afford to bring it with you. All you can do now is fly back and personally grab what you can, or forget about it all and move on. If your family sucks enough to steal from you and refuse you your items, then I’d move on from them for good.
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My best advice is to fly out there unannounced, get your most sentimental and important things (or everything, if you can) and then leave.
And/or, cut them out of your life
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Wow… this is absolutely disgusting. I’m so sorry. I don’t care what anyone says thats so wrong to threaten you with flushing your child’s father’s ashes
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Fly back and meet with police privately to get your stuff back.
If you can’t fly back. Cut ties. Ring your late husbands family and ask if they have anything small that you can give your son so he still has something from he’s Dad.
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It sounds like you need to go back there, with police escort & collect your irreplaceable belongings & keepsakes, and then cut them off until they want to act like adults.
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You should have sent it all yourself and not expected someone who isn’t responsible to do it themselves. I would go back and get your stuff and do it once and for all and that’s it.
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Fly back and get your things and take her to court to get your money back for the time she lived with you, all youve spent on her, your tickets to return and get said things, and pain and suffering
If it was me arrive to their door take everying u need that means something feck the rest and then tell them have a nice life cos I won’t be in it
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Take a trip and get your stuff and carry on with your life. At least the irreplaceable items. (Ashes, items from his dad etc) everything else is just materialistic things. Sometimes it’s your own family members that are toxic and need to distance yourself from.
I’m sorry family is doing this. As horrible as it may be, they are only physical items. Memories are forever. That would be enough for me to cut them off. Total lack of respect.
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Why did you wait 2 years? At this point you may not have a legal leg to stand on.
And why not just go take care of it yourself? Sorry but seems you’re in a mess of your own making. I wish you well and hope you can get some closure🙏
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Take this post down and go get your things. Also don’t leave your things. I learned this hard too. Don’t call anyone either just go and get your things personally.
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I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s worse that it’s of deep sentimental value and they’re treating it like it’s not important to you. If I were you I would fly down collect the important things to send home and then cut ties. I can only hope your mother is holding onto everything because she misses you and not because she’s selfish. Again, so sorry you’re dealing with this…. Good luck
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Not much you can do. Cut your losses, ask for the ashes back at least and then cut them out of your life.
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I suggest you get on a plan and personally get your items back. If you can have the police there just in case…
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U took her on a $65,000 vacation trip ???
And u are complaining about your mom…
WHYYYY didnt u take her on a $50,000 trip ??
And WHYYYY are u not mad at your laughing mocking brother who is actually USING yoir stuff ??
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My suggestion would be to reach out to Kate husbands family if they live in that same country and have them meet with police to be escorted to pick up his ashes 
I am so sorry you are going through this. And maybe if they are actually able to get an escort to collect his ashes they may see all your guyses belongings
Forget about everything and moved on.
Life is short somevhave lost everything even there lives.
The ashes and children should have gone with you.
Material things don’t matter.
Mom did what she could.
In the end everything works out. You still have a family
Best you can do is get a police escort to your mother’s to collect your things. I would focus more on the sentimental items in case she tries something.
I think that this is a case for a very good solicitor. There maybe a writ issued to your family forbidding them to give, take selling & selling any of your personal effects, & to specifically your husband"s ashes. I know this will be expensive, but you are not working with a loving & caring family, but with vile greedy people. IF your Mum is still living in your home; after legally securing your possessions, I would give her notice to quit & sell the property
At least you can rest peacefuliy
Honestly, if the sentimental items meant for your son, were that important, you wouldn’t have left them behind.
You don’t get to hold all the “nice” things you did for her over her head.
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First of all, what kind of trip costs 65k? And second, if you have all that money, just fly back and get the important stuff yourself? Clothes won’t fit your kid after 2 years. And you left your husband ashes behind?? Something about this isn’t right.
If I was you I would take this as a lesson,you have been shown their true colours ,I would cut them off and live my best life .my mum did this to me when I was 18 ,I’d moved out of home got myself new clothes and bears ,stereo ect.moved back home for a few weeks then left with just the clothes on my back (mum was abusive) when I settled into a place and asked for my stuff ,she said she gave them to good will or sold them …nothing new with her but I cut her off .