Unless u have it in messages or in paper saying that was the agreement than you can’t basically do anything. Cause it looks like you abandon your stuff. Try to argue with them n maybe they will give it to you.
You Can Do All Things Though Christ Who Stenghten You Stop Worrying And Start Over Again What Is Happening To You Is Very Completely Mind Games To Get Control Of You For Get About The Old And Start Over Fresh Sorry Could Not Laugh At That Complete Mind Control God Don T Like Ugly And He Ain’t Crazy About Pretty
Unless you had a legal document written up saying she had to send you all of your belongings at the time, the court system is just going to dismiss the case as you abandoning your things. About the only thing you can do is cut ties with them and never speak to them again
Either go back and physically get the things yourself or let it go. You’ve been without your things, and although it was a crappy thing for your mom to do to you, it’s too late to do anything other than go back and get them. They are not going to send anything else, as you now know at least some of it was unpacked and given away- who knows if the rest is even there. I would move on and not waste the emotional & physical energy focusing on that any more. Go on with the new life you created. Karma is a “B”, and just keep reminding yourself that one day in the future, it WILL come full circle and it will bite them in the arse! You were a good daughter to your mom, and whether you believe it or not, she will one day regret and have to answer for her actions. Some things you just have to let go for your sanity.
Sounds like you should have shipped your stuff yourself- instead of taking a $65k trip… You would have probably had all your stuff in a week or two if you would have settled everything before you left… It’s sad but these days you can’t even trust family sometimes
Have you spoke to your mom about sending more boxes or has she cut off contact?
It’s unfortunate that sometimes verbal agreements aren’t enough. I would just go back to claim the ashes for my child. Everything else is already gone.
You need to cut them out of your life , they are toxic . If you want the stuff back you need to go get it .
So it’s going to be considered a he said she said type of case unless you have proof of this agreement and receipts or evidence they belong to you as for the trip it sounds like it was a gift st the time and most likely be seen that way in court you should try to find pictures of your belongings and texts between her and you and go back over there and take an officer to the house with your evidence and collect your belongings court will be tough because it sounds like it was all verbally done and they will see it sll as a lapse of judgement on your part…obviously they are being crazy but this couldn’t be the first time you had to of known this since she couldn’t afford anything and you have done everything you can also bring up the rent and receipts of new furniture you gave her but again it sounds like a gift and it’s a really tough situation but you can fight for all of it but like others have said you would be better off paying for a flight collecting all the important stuff and coming back
What Boils My Blood They Were All In it And Mom That Takes The Cake Come On You Guys Really
Anyone siding with people that threatened to flush a deceased person’s ashes down a toilet that was loved and cared for is gross and weird. That’s manipulation and actually disgusting to threaten a person with such a thing if they don’t meet your demands and allow them to steal your belongings. I don’t care if it was 10 years or if someone spent a million on a holiday thats a vile threat. To also take a child’s keepsakes from their dead father and laugh about it is also repulsive.
Stop being bitter people because a person can afford soemthing you cant it doesn’t warrant being treated in such a poor manner.
Sounds like they are uncaring a holes…fly back for your things or deal with it as is.I doubt they will give up anything even if you go back.They should give you your things but a judge would say you owe for storing your things.
Y’all are mean. Go back and arrange to have your stuff shipped. Then cut ties…. It’s your own family sometimes that’s equivalent to your worst enemy.
Hunny I’m so sorry you’re going through this… you either go back and file through their court system or unfortunately cut your losses as hard as it is and move on. Karma gets everyone eventually. As horrible as that sounds as well. I know that is family but you have to see what you have now. Live in the now. If not only for you but your son. I’m not sure where you came from but maybe if you decide to go back and fight … get it on recordings of them saying “pretty much too bad so sad, deal with it.” Family is usually the first to hurt you like this. Wish I could help you more😭
Small claims court is your only option for this situation Im afraid… sorry for your loss
So sorry my daughter took all mine she feels what belonged to her Dad should go to her so she took all even his ashes. I miss my movie camera and the last tape I took of my husband but she not return anything except his ashes as he always told them he wanted to be with me til I died then he d haunt his first son and stay on his tv. I hope she will give you your other 20 boxes back
Last year I wanted to send a package to a friend in Italy. The box weighed 1lb and the dimensions were 6"×8"×3". It was a very small package and it was going to cost me almost $200 to ship. If all of these boxes are the belongings from your home, I guarantee they are much larger than what I tried to ship. Your boxes would likely cost several hundred dollars each. I’m sorry that plans didn’t work out the way you wanted, but it has been years and you have a new life now. Let it go. Request ONLY the things that cannot be replaced and go back to get them yourself. If you can afford a $65k trip, surely you can afford to do that. Best of luck.
Well if they flush his ashes your husband will get the last laugh because it will destroy their plumbing. So… I know you don’t want that but karma will come knocking.
I’d be on a plane and emptying the apartment with my first priority ashes I’d litterally have no contact and just rock up unannounced
My opinion is you started a new life and left the old all things are replaceable But! The love for family isn’t so keep in mind whats more important right Now!! Papers sentimental items or your mom?
When someone moves out take your stuff other wise say good buy why didnt u get a truck and take your stuff
Leave it. And tell the universe to allow them to keep all that negative foul energy they perpetrating in those belongings . It will hurt them more then it hurts you.
As a widow, I’d be flying back to get the ashes. I wouldn’t care about old clothes.
No, there is not anything you can do from home. You would have to go back to your country and follow whatever the law is there.
If you want your stuff you are going to have to get it sent yourself. You know now after 2 yrs she isn’t going to send it. Make a trip out there get your stuff loaded up and come back and be done with it.
65k trip… You’d think you’d be able to fly back and get your belongings if you can afford that kind of holiday/trip,
Ask them to send the ashes and then cut all ties with them
Nope i think youre s.o.l. shit out of luck. You left them. And you got 3 boxes. Theres no written contract and you have no proof… so you just gotta convince your self in your own heart your things were lost in a fire. Destroyed and no longer exist. I dont know where youre from but is any of it worth you moving back and guarding it from your family. If nothing else this gives you an out on never needing to send then any gifts… if they hint about birthdays or holidays point out to them the items they already got from you. One item at a time. And if youre here in the united states they best be able to make it where they live cuz you dont need to open your door here for them in case they loose their asses. You been there done that. And lost it all so be wise and learn from it. And dont do the mistakes again…
23 boxes is a lot for a broke mom to send to America. Go get your stuff.
It’s been 2 years. You should honestly count the loss and just replace your things.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m sorry for your loss. My heart broke more and more the more I read your post. I can’t imagine the heart ache, frustration etc you must be feeling and going through. What an absolutely disgusting attitude they have and behavior. I’d try everything in my power to press charges and/or get the most important things (ashes, sentimental things etc) sent to you.
If you are still helping financially, cut her off.
See if your brother can send the sentimental stuff but other than that I’d take the L and move on
Sadly you probably have to let it go. Try to get the ashes, if you can. Start over. And cut them off.
Let it go life is too short to live that way.
You got a new husband and you still want the other one he ain’t happy
Your mother owes you? You sound selfish and bratty. Your mother owes you nothing shes your mother. You are very ungrateful
Apparently your husband had a great insurance policy, you took your mom on a great vacation with, bought new furniture, that you gave to her, let her live free, and spent it all before you could afford to ship your own boxes
It all depends where she came from
There’d a special karma for people like that
Man the women in this post make me realize exactly why I have no female friends. Have some morals. THERES RIGHT AND THERES WRONG!!!
Pop up one day without telling her with police to get your belongings
That was your fault you should’ve never left your stuff there
Seems like the police already gave you your answer…
You just LEFT HIS ASHES ?! W.t.f.
I pray nothing like this happens to any of the horrible people on this post.
Go back and get his ashes. Forget the rest.
Id pop up n get them if I could. If that’s not an option I’d cut them off. If she’s the type that loves that struggle life she’ll be calling you. If you have proof she agreed to send your items you could probably talk to a lawyer over there about your options. They might have a video chat option instead of having to be there because of covid.
It sucks. But go and physically take things of importance. Do you really need material belongings 2 years later? Are the shoes really still going to fit your child?
Where y’all go that was 65k? I’m just being nosey lol
But seriously fly home and get your husbands ashes and any sentimental items you may have. It’s been 2 years so I’m pretty sure your son can’t fit those clothes anymore
Move on… it is what it is. I had to… it hurts , deeper than anyone will ever know, but, in the end, once i accepted it, I was Truely free…
I’d either go back and take the belongings and ashes or cut your losses. It all depends on what you feel you need to do. The teddy and the ashes I completely get and I would try get those back as a priority and maybe just cut the cord on the rest. Ask for the main things you want as a priority and then go from there
It’s probably very expensive and a pain, not to mention will it even get here if she does ship it.
I’d get new things and hope tome sorted it out. I wouldn’t do that for anyone, even my kids. That’s a lot. I’d be like you know where to find it. Sorry if that’s cold but my son wouldn’t even ask me to do that with a straight face. His gf might but then I couldn’t keep a straight face, probably.
If you can afford a $65000 trip why don’t you fly home and get your stuff? You certainly do seem like you like to boast about how much money and how many expensive things you have.
You need to pack a bag and go over there even if your not able to but it’s a need especially since they are threatening to flush his ashes down the drain. Go over there get the ashes and some things of importance and maybe also ship a couple boxes back while there then forget the rest and block them from your life. The fact your brother laughed at it shows everything. They are not worth it
You made it a point to boast about your money so why would you not take everything when you left or set it up through a moving company an were on earth do you travel that cost 65k just wondering
You gonna have to go send it all to yourself and then write that B off
I don’t know why your family dislikes you but anyway all you can do is go get it and I’m guessing you will have an issue with them handing it over
I’d go home(previous)and mail them to myself right away…
Fly there, beat everyone’s a$$, fly your things home, cut ties.
Tell them specifically what to send- focus on your son’s memory items . Get those sent . Then focus on the rest but don’t count on it .
I don’t understand this post AT ALL. If you left your country to marry and move with your now husband, why didn’t he pay to have your things shipped at that time? And if the shipping costs were gonna be astronomical why didn’t you simply sell all of the larger items and only ship the necessities and Momentos?! If you have been gone for this lengthy amount of time, by now you should have been settled in your new place with new things long ago. It sounds like you are just being petty. Now I’m not saying that it’s okay that your Mom broke the agreement that you two made. But it sounds like it wasn’t the smartest agreement in the first place. My suggestion is the same as many others thoughts: fly back and gather the items like your husband’s ashes and other irreplaceable items. The rest you will probably have to just chalk up as a loss and move on. Furthermore, I personally don’t know of any piece of furniture or material possession that I would cut my mother off behind. Unless there is a history of toxic behavior. Either way, it sounds like they live far enough away to where you don’t have to do a whole lot of interacting. That fact might be this relationship’s saving grace. Just my thoughts.
It’s just stuff… You haven’t gotten any of that ish since you been over here??
Cut ties with all of them concentrate on your son .talk to him about your husband give home lots of love. But your family is toxic
Fly home and get them yourself
I would gather up every speck of proof I possibly could and take her to small claims court!!! It is beyond my realm of understanding why parents think that their child “owes” them something!!! She should give ALL of your stuff back and then she needs to apologize!!!
Wow! That’s unacceptable but unfortunately there’s not much you can do. I would certainly never speak to them again or do another single thing for them. Other than that you’ll probably have to take a huge L. I’m so sorry that your family has done this to you.
Your an adult… I don’t know why you’re expecting people to do your work for you to be truthful you should’ve packed everything and sent it all on your own if you planned on moving across the world
Everyones getting mad that she didn’t take ALL her things but no ones getting mad at the fact of how shitty her mother is being….would y’all do this to your kids? Clearly she trusted her MOTHER the #1 person your supposed to trust the most in the world and she getting betrayed by her and the rest of her family
Unless you’re able to go back and handle it in person, you’re likely just going to have to accept the loss of your items and the loss of your toxic family. You made a mistake in trusting your mother, and your brother. It sucks but just because someone is family doesn’t mean they are a good person. Sometimes you can’t even trust family. Sadly that’s a lesson you’ve now learned. I’d contact your ex-husband’s family and see if they can collect items if they are local to that area. If not, you already tried the police so there’s not much else you can do most likely. And not much advice to be given without knowing that country and it’s laws. If it’s America you can likely sue them in small claims court.
You can’t press charges for theft and she did not steal anything. Unless you have a written agreement with her and a value of your stuff there isn’t much you can do. Now since all your tangent is about money and how much you’ve done just buy new shit and send her a formal letter requesting your late hubbys ashes.
Girl how’s the American daddy feel about You being so upset about this? You should have informed him to move all ya shit when he brought you
Y’all are so heartless…what type of person threatens to flush someone ashes bcuz u did XYZ?! And she stated she was in mourning, probably y she didn’t get the stuff within the 2yrs…folks are HELL, smh
You can afford to support her plus a 65k trip… but can’t afford to have to your things shipped?
I’d fly back for the late husband’s things and cut the rest including your terrible family. Other things are replaceable
I would plan a trip to go over there in secret. Then make sure u can bring back most of ur stuff this time. That’s the only way.
Go get your stuff from her house. Not being mean but depending on people doesn’t always work out. Hope it gets better.
got that in writing? I’m sure there’s something they can do for threatening the disposal of human remains…
Omg!!! I’m sorry but family or not! I’d be naming and shaming them! Let the joint voices of public ire, force them to do the right thing!
If you can afford a 65k vacation, you can afford to go back to your home country, pack your things and ship it to the USA yourself.
The police always say that. Stop giving people your money and your things. Since you’re rich the obvious solution is to get a lawyer
You took your mom on a $65k trip but you couldn’t afford to ship your belongings to your new home?
Somethings
stop being lazy and fly back and get ur shit lol
Wow. I’m so sorry. Your family sounds like a bunch of jealous and bitter humans. That’s just horrible to not give you his ashes or give your son his teddy bear. It sounds like they are bitter you have a better life and are using the only thing they can to hurt you. I know it’s hard but they will just continue to use it to hurt you so you need to cut them off. They’ve already proven they are horrible people and think nothing of yours or your sons feelings. A mom that doesn’t that to her child has no heart. Let them live their pathetic existence with their stolen items and free yourself of the toxicity. Your late husband would understand and want what’s best for you and your son. I would personally make it public what they did to you to mutual family and acquaintances who know them just so the world knows who they are then free yourself of it because they are using it to hurt you. These are not people who love you. I’m sorry that you had to go through this. What horrible people.
go back and get them??
I’m confused. If you could afford to move and take an expensive trip why would you not just ship your stuff?
Cut your losses, play nice and get the ashes then cut them off
What trip cost 65k tho??? If u got money to blow on a vacay that expensive u coulda flew back and got your own boxes
I love refrigerators
65K holiday you should of spent Less on a holiday and shipped the things personally. You can always rely on family unfortunately.
Two sides to every story
Forget it and move on
You might want to book a flight…
C’mon now, LET IT GOOOOOO and move on with your life
Wow… it’s your mom…and it’s just stuff
If you didn’t pay for the packing and the postage, then your shit out a lot. That is very expensive and put all that on your mom? Really? You should’ve planned better
No wonder you left them!! They sounds like a NIGHTMARE!!!
Many people seems to lack accountability and responsibility for their decisions
I’m not sure what the laws/bylaws are where you’re from, but here if you’ve left your stuff somewhere for 3+ months you forfeit all rights to it. The fact you received 3 boxes in the first 3 months and nothing after that makes me think they’ve taken advantage of that same bylaw…
Poor planning on your part, suck it up and move on.