Maybe she’s lonely and your family is all she has. Ask her for help, see if she would watch the kids so you two can have a date night. Find things she could try to do with peers her age, do they have an aging council around that hosts group events? Take her, show her other things she could do that would enrich her life. 
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You could have far worse problems. She’s lonely y’all are her whole life. Let her visit
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I know you wouldn’t want to hear this the thing is that we love our parents dearly and I was like that with my dad he would come over all the time and it would just hurt me that my late husband didn’t want him there but we need to cherish that we have our grandma and our Grandpa’s because one day they’re not going to be there and you’re going to say damn I wish they would come over and visit the kids.
Let her if she only comes for a little bit thats ok specially if she is a nice lady
Awww that’s sad. I love my mother id want to see her everyday. And I’d be blessed to have a husband that’s close to his mother as well and I’d hope that I’d be super close to her too. Tomorrow isn’t promised
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All the people that are saying you just be thankful. That’s not fair I’m sure you are thankful but that doesn’t mean you want her around everyday!!?! Especially on the week days. Like I’m sure you just want to relax from work or from him being at work and you want to spend some intimate time with him. I’m sure you barely get enough time with him alone considering you have kids. So 100% don’t feel bad for not wanting her there everyday. I would set limits. Like maybe 2 days a week she comes over. Say hey let’s make plans every Monday and Thursday you come over but the other nights I want to have a routine and have some private family time. There’s nothing wrong with that.
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Have her babysit do special time with hubby and each kid take advantage of this it is a blessing
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I’d just accept it. You never know how the MIL is feeling - maybe she feels down or lonely? If you raise it with her, it’ll make you look mean spirited and you’ll always regret it later. Then she may not come over at all. I know it’s difficult but i’d really try to move on from it.
Also, I try to look at it from my dad’s perspective - his mum has sadly died and I’m sure he’d love to have her coming over, unannounced, on a daily basis.
It’s a blessing that so many are deprived of.
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Would u feel the same if it was your mom?
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I would start seeing her as part of my family an extra hand. Dont treet her as a guest alow her to help you. Make special time just for the 2 of you go have a coffee or tea over the werkend let her get to know you the good and the bad, speak to her arrange date night for you and hubby let her waych the kids as soon as you start including her and she gets to know the real you with all your likes and dislikes and you het to know her she will or become an important part of your home or she will realize she is overstepping 
goodluck aleays easier looking in…
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If I were you, I would give her days and times she can come visit.
You also need to sit your husband down and explain to him how it makes you feel and be honest about it and tell him your plan for her.
My son and I live at home with my parents and I know they love us to death, but I also know they need their time so I take my son out over weekends for a full day just so they can have their time in peace and quiet.
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I wonder if half these people have their mother in law over everyday uninvited or just say ‘just let her do it’ some people like a day off especially having kids and a husband. Why should she have to adhere to everyone else all the time. Im sure she does all the things you guys are suggesting, maybe she just wants a bloody break I know i would!!!
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I think you should just be honest with her. Maybe just let her know you would like some alone time with the family and she is more than welcome to pop in on weekends
Just let her know you love her and appreciate her but really would like some time to do things with your husband and kids. Tell her your planning a day out just you hubby and kids start doing thing just you guys and she might get the hint. It’s not unreasonable to want some time as a family.
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Omg what I would do to have mine come over every day. I’d love that
She’s bored & lonely, and made it a habit to see you vs. changing things up. Set up regular “play dates” you can live with and tell her “now is not a good time, please come during our designated time when we can spend the time with you.” And I concur, send the kids to her & have date nights.
Find her something else to do! Foster animals, join a sewing club, visit a senior center for activities, sign her up for water aerobics or Tai chi or knitting or painting or computer or Spanish classes. Send her on senior day trips, have her join a walking group (with social distancing), have her monitor the water in stream beds for the Water Authority, make calls for a cause or candidate, volunteer with anything that might interest her.
Have her check parking violators or serve on her HOA Board, read to kids at the library, volunteer to teach something at a senior center/nursing home/day care/school. Teachers often look for folks who can share lived experiences in their classrooms. Have her volunteer to be a phone/video mentor/tutor for school kids or be a “Big Sister” or foster grandparent. Heck, have her take in a foster child if that might be feasible.
Have her be a museum docent, theater usher, garden gift shop worker/volunteer, get her involved in activities and volunteering at her religious institution. Does she drive? I know this is tough during COVID times, but plan for the future and see what can be done safely now. Maybe hand out bags of food outdoors at a food bank site while masked? Help weed/garden at a historic site?
Doesn’t she have any other friends or family? Can you find her Christmas card list, phone book, whatever, and encourage her to connect/reconnect with old friends? Can you contact her friends and neighbors to get in touch with her and maybe commit to inviting her to do something with them? She should make new friends through other activities and you should encourage her to invite them to her house. She can add a few more (careful, safe) people to her “bubble” even now.
Is she married? Maybe get her to peruse online dating sites (after talks about doing it safely). Even if she never goes on one date or contacts a single person, she might enjoy seeing what’s out there.
Maybe counseling is in order for you and hubs to work on cutting at least one apron string. But if you can get MIL to expand her horizons you won’t need to expect your husband to act any differently.
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It is a difficult situation but everyone is allowed private time. I had the same problem with my mil and with hindsight I wish I had put boundaries in place. I have 2 daughter and 4 grandchildren who I love more than anything. I am very involved with my grandchildren but I have made a point of not making a nuisance of myself. They know that I am there for them anytime that they need my help. I have keys to their homes but I would never arrive unannounced. I agree you need to say something now in a gentle but firm way it is your home and your rules.
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I would be straight talking with her. I would be saying I don’t mind you comming over a couple days a week but we also need our time
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If you trust her to babysit and go out for a bit, jog, get pampered or schedule a date with your husband.
Ugh. Tell her to stop coming over so much. Why is it so hard? My mil was the same way. She is lonely but that’s on her. She refuses to go out and make friends. She’s too snobby and acts like she’s better than everyone. My husband didn’t notice so I finally told her that she takes up too much time when I have a million things to do.
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I don’t see what the big deal is just leave it go family is so precious these days cherish while you have your mother-in-law
I totally get that you should be thankful to have your MIL around all the time but BOUNDARIES. Sure a few days a week, but you also need time with just your family too. Have a talk with both your husband & MIL about it, because it seems like she doesn’t know this is even bothering you.
Also suggestions for you time while she babysits the kiddos sounds great, “self care” and all. That way she gets time with the kids, you get time to enjoy a few hours by yourself.
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Just be greatful you have a mother in law… and one that cares and wants to be part of your life. I would give Anything to have my mother in law come over every single day, unfortunately I never got to meet her. Be greatful! Some family members don’t ever bother to come around or even care how your kids are. That hurts.
While i wouldn’t mind this myself as I’m home with 6 kids every day and I love the company everyone is different. Is it that she’s there daily too much on you or how late she is there? Come up with a schedule if you need to like (tues and Thursday’s we’re doing ect but the other days are great) it’s great that she loves to be involved and you don’t want to hurt either side but personal time is needed as well.
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But everybody loves Raymond?! 
Appreciate a Grandmother who cares. Some kids have never felt that…
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Bugga that. Tell her just to chill and stay home for while. Or leave before she gets there. I wouldn’t be opening the door if it was me… Especially everyday
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I think you should say something. It’s possible to appreciate her presence AND want alone time. No, she won’t be around forever but hopefully she lives a very long time. Which means her behavior will continue unless you address it. Be prepared for her to feel hurt or possibly offended , but stand your ground. If you let it linger you’re going to end up resenting her and your husband for not seeing it as a problem.
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Of course she is where she feels the most love. Gift her dinner and movie cards so she can take a friend or other family member. Then you have time for yourselves.
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I honestly would just have a conversation with her. Apparently she loves you and the family yall have made together. Just remember to tell her how much you love and appreciate her. You don’t have to be mean (as some people are suggesting🙄). She may just be lonely and appreciates your company. Many MIL stories are the complete opposite.
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I hope one day my kids spouse wouldn’t think of me like that😢… I grow up with my grandma, aunts, uncle and cousins around. I don’t mind that. Maybe it’s just my culture.
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I would be honest with her. Tell her how much you love and appreciate her but that you’d like some alone time with your family. It’ll be a difficult conversation but she should appreciate the honesty.
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I would be honest with her and your husband. Remember one day this could be you. I doubt she realizes she is doing it. Watching our children grow and not need us is hard. I don’t look forward to when my kids are adults and move out.
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I would say something but more than likely this will be me with my kids in the future lol, I’ll be that mom from everybody loves Raymond 
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Definitely set boundaries. Don’t let people try to make you feel guilty for needing that. You can cherish her, and still need your space.
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Yeah you need to have an honest open conversation with him. I enjoy family coming over and helping with kids and such too but I really like to be alone and would feel overwhelmed by someone else in my house every day
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I had that problem years ago and you have to speak up for yourself & your husband (mama’s boy or not) needs to back you up… he’s a grown man & doesn’t need his momma around all the time 
let her know you care but y’all need alone time … or else it will ruin your relationship
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This is exactly what I try to avoid doing to my son and his family. They just had their first baby, my first grandbaby, and I can tell you it’s SO hard to not be there every day! Sadly, this last week I only got to see my grandson for about an hour and never got to hold him. 
Bless you for wanting to make time for her but she does need boundaries. Maybe specific days and times she can come by?
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We have one day a week where it is just family only (my husband, children, and myself). You need to have a family day and let her know that is special day for yall only and she can come over any other day except the established family day.
Also, we turn off our phones. Once she cant come over, she will call/text.
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Say some thing. You have to put your foot down and set ground rules. My mother in law was like this and my husband didn’t have an issue. She had a housekey which made it worse. I took the key and she and I had a long talk. She was upset but understood and very quickly learned how to use the phone.
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Definitely sounds like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond!
But in all seriousness, you have every right to your own personal time without her there. That would drive me insane. Maybe tell her once every second day, and to call or message first, not just drop in unexpectedly.
Good luck!
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I’d just skip your husband and go straight to talking to your MIL, that way she hears exactly what you mean for her to hear. She’s been in your shoes before and will understand why you want alone time with your family. Especially If you have a good relationship with her
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Will I am on grandma side if this same thing I see my grandkids every day I love them to death and when I am not there I am wondering what they are doing but yes I can see time alone too just say hay we love you but we are going to do just us tonight she will be fine and the more you do it the easier it will be for her too, but be prepared for her to cry a little bit at frist bit like I said she will be fine
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As someone who didn’t really get along with my mother in law (my husband did but was no where near a mommas boy) I have to say the easiest way was to ask her watch the kiddo while you have a date night or alone time. I can’t tell you how much I wish my mother in law was still around as her and my daughter were very close. We took advantage of the gramma time as much as possible and there is no other family around I would leave her with, we have some good friends, luckily, but not having her is the worst!!!
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You are lucky to have a mother in law. Leave ur kids with her and go out with Hubby if it’s ok with her . She’s mainly there for her grand kids . Be supportive the way she’s being supportive to u . Don’t forget she gave birth to him . U owe her all the love and respect if u have it in u . Heaven is beneath mom’s feet. So be there for her like she was there for her child when he was helpless .
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Ask her to take care of the kids if shes always there and have alone time with your husband. Do Family things and include her. She wont be around forever. She needs you all or she wouldn’t be there always. That’s just my opinion.
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I know it is difficult for you, but please be patient ,and enjoy her. You are blessed. Most mother in laws are nasty! I truly wish I still had mine. She was an Angel. If I could turn back time! Maybe she is lonely. This is a good time to talk to her about her life. Get some family history that your kids will enjoy for years to come. Give her the gift of your time. Enjoy!
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It seems you truly care about her. However parents shouldn’t be around every single day. That gets old quick with not having privacy and time for just y’all. I’d definitely set some ground rules in place. Hopefully after a talk about it she will understand.
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While I am jealous of the help and love you receive from her, if it is becoming a nuisance, I would suggest just being honest with her. Tell her you truly appreciate everything she does, but you would like to have some “family” time with just the people in your household and maybe she could come over 3 days a week instead of 7?
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Do what feels best for you. But don’t forget that she loves you, your husband, and your kids. And having a grandmother is a huge blessing. Her intentions are probably all love. But yes, you should totally be able to have a day by yourselves.
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I have the same type of thing. My in laws are around alot but they are family and I know there will be a day we wish they were here. So enjoy those moments if she is always around ask her to watch the kids while you and the hubby go to dinner one night or even a lunch date. More than likely she just wants to be helpful.
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I have a great relationship with my in laws my father in law passed away in April and all my mother in law has is me my husband and her grandkids I absolutely think the world of her and love her to bits she was so supportive to me when I lost my mom nearly 2 years ago ,I always say to her to come around as often as you want but she doesn’t and I’ve asked her why and she simply said she doesn’t want to be a pest and get in the way I never want her to feel like that and have said she can come around as often as she likes ,everyone is different but to me we have always been a close family on my side and when I married her son that bond and closeness began with my mother in law also ,I miss my mom so much it broke my heart my mother in law will never replace my mom but I call her mom and talk to her everyday like I did with my mom
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My suggestion is to ask her for advise on a date night that you wish to plan for you and your husband without the kids. This will both give the the attention and feeling included and valued without telling her to but out. Sometimes if a person feels “in on it” they will respect the distance needed to carry out the plans. Let her know you are thinking of doing this weekly and that it could be fun having girl time to plan it out. She is older and just wants to be part of things which no one knows how much time is left on this earth. You could end up strengthening your bond with her as well you never know what kind of advise someone a little older may have that is valuable to you 
best of luck!
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Oh ugh. As a mother in law, when I hear things like this it really, really reminds me to keep myself in check. Is she widowed or single? She may be very lonely, and needing social interaction but, I have a friend that has this same issue. Seriously, it’s your husbands responsibility to cut the cord. He needs to be the one to set some boundaries. If you say something to her it will just hurt her and put a rift between the two of you. Have your husband talk to her, and start by telling her how much you love having her around but you need to have alone family time by yourselves. And limit to certain days. Maybe 2-3 days a week or weekends and while she’s there, use her to help with the kids or do other things to help, ie: clean, cook, fold laundry etc. don’t let it be a free for all just to cone over and hang out type of thing. It may still be hurtful to her but She’s the one who never cut the apron strings and allowed her baby boy to grow up to be a man! She’ll eventually get over it and understand. But your husband needs to support you over his mother, and he is the one that has to step up here and do this.
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I wish my mother were still around to have this problem. 
imagine thinking everything revolves around you without regard to anyone else. Not even based on issues or problems but just being selfish:roll_eyes:
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I just lost my mother in law yesterday. How I wish I could have had more time with her! She was a wonderful lady!
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First of all if your husband knows how you feel and can see you are not 100% happy and still seems to think this is not a issue then I think maybe you should focus more on sorting that relationship out… I wouldn’t be happy of my partner wasnt caring of my feelings and can see how upset frustrated etc, that’s shows no respect or love at all.
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As someone who recently lost their MIL way to young, I would do anything to have her over and loving the kids. I understand boundaries are important - but you honestly don’t know what you have until its gone. Enjoy every moment you can and every minute your children have thay extra love in their lives i say 
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This sort of thing makes me thankful my MIL lived 3000 miles away. I love her to death but that’s too much MIL time.
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Sounds very much like she is lonely. Hard situation because you don’t want to hurt any feelings.
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Find her a hobby or bring her to a place where she can find out about courses she can do or a dance class sowing club knitting club Internet learning club a women’s group she is probably lonely and if u could help her to find an interest it would probably be good for her to make new friends too
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Be honest if its affecting you, allowing it to continue will only bubble the situation. Speak from the heart like you say you do love and appreciate her but having boundaries for yourself is also important and let your husband know how it makes you feel too. Some people get offended but if you tell them it isnt them that some people enjoy space they will understand and come to terms with it eventually. Theres people who enjoy being surrounded by others all the time and then theres people who like to have some alone time or space to themselves. Appreciating the differences and balancing it out will most importantly ease you allowing yourself to be true
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Couples have to set boundaries. Ask her to call before she comes over!
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Tell hubby she needs to call first, thats just simple manners.
If not make sure she walks in when you’re fooling around to spook her enough to ensure she calls first 
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Just a question, has there been anything… traumatic that has happened in the family? I ask this because after my brother died, my family and I were inseparable, like I’m sure my husband got annoyed of us never having any alone time. I kinda did what I’m suggesting to you.
I completely get where your coming from and what you need, I think a nice way to maybe ask for some space would first be like ’ hey would you mind watching the baby for a few hour so me and (so) can have some alone time? I feel like we never get any alone or family time and could really use some" hopefully she’ll read in between the lines and cut down her visits.
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Ask her to babysit so you can have a date night.
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I get she wants to be part of the Family that’s great but there’s a limit , be careful how you put it that you love her dearly and appreciate her but sometimes just want time for yourself , It’s a fine that she is welcome but not aaaaall the time .
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Speak up u r entitled to alone time with ur family and if she is understanding she will get it and ur hubby should respect ur feelings
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If you have a problem with it I’d address it with husband first so he can be on the same page and have your back. You can tell her how much you enjoy her being there but please let you know ahead of time incase you have plans or just want alone time. She needs to respect your family
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My dad passed 8 years ago and I would LOVE for him to be with us every day and get to meet his grand kids. I love Having family around.
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Say something very respectful. Just explain you want a night out of the week with just your little family.
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IF you say something it will change the dynamics of your relationship forever. If you don’t you aren’t happy. Its a damned if you do dammed or you don’t situation. I truly wish U luck
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I had many arguments with my mother in law. And kids loved her to death. She was actually living with us. She passed away and I wish she was here daily even with the arguments and fights we had. I sometimes hated having her there all the time but in the end I wish I still did. She was an amazing woman
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I wish my mother in law could come over everyday. She passed away over 5 years and I miss her so much. She was a great woman and I’m sad my children are growing up without her 
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She won’t be around forever. Give her that time with her son and your kids. You can always take one of those nights for yourself If you have a hobby Or something like that.
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Say something
Speak to your husband about this and let him go ahead and address this. That’s his mother and as the head of the household it is his responsibility to let her know it is becoming too much and she needs to ease up. Parents need to understand that there’s a time and place. Maybe she’s lonely. She needs a man or something I couldn’t bother with that
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My good sister., the best moments are those shared with mum inlaw… as long as she doesn’t interfere with your life let her be… na akizeeka ataenda wapi? love her like you’ve never done before and see how happy she will be…you will be her best.
This sounds so much like “Everybody loves Raymond.” If that was me, I would just embrace her as part of my family and let her be.
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My mom lives VERY close to us (like same building close). We see each other nearly everyday. My spouse works away so the company and the help is wonderful when he is gone for weeks on end. We are VERY open with communication and if someone just isn’t feeling like being around each other that day, we simply say that. I can’t imagine this would work if we didn’t respect each others space and communicate well. My parents are also very respectful of my spouses time at home, as it is limited.
Ask her to baby sit and go out with your husband. You will wish that she was there when she stops coming for ever. Enjoy her company now.
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Coming from someone who has lost several people in my life, appreciate it. Maybe she can watch the kids so you two can go out. She won’t be there forever. I wish I still had my parents. My MIL doesn’t visit us unless her daughter is out of town and my FIL is annoying her.
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Home is where your loved ones are. Maybe she is feeling lonely and wants your company. At her age and at that age, a person feels like he is unworthy, and therefore she feels being worthy with you and your family. One day you will be her age and your kids are married and then you will remember but it would be too late. My dear what goes around comes around. Someday you will be paid off and you will be thankful. 
Talk to your husband and to her. She’s family and if you explain you just want some time alone with your family she should respect that. Say she can come over on weekends or text you guys first to see what you’re doing before popping over.
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Everyone loves Raymond in real life. Lol sorry. From a Girl without a mom suck it up and be grateful. I wish I had even just my mom.
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Every Mom is different and I was blessed with a wonderful Mother in law I didn’t see her very often and my Mom when she drove she didn’t come over all the time, As for me I try not too bother my kids unless they need me I give them there space I want my son in laws too love me and my daughter in law adores me because I don’t bother them
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Honesty, once my daughter -inlaw would be uncomfortable around me, you don’t have to tell me twice to back off. I would love to be invited mostly by her but that’s unlikely. Now she’s nice to me compare to few years back. This hurts more because of my son. Yes if tomorrow they would invite me over i most definitely jump at the chance and dance with my little babies, laugh in joy. But most likely I’ll pick phone up for permission, for it’s been months since i saw them:broken_heart:
I would personally deal with it. My husband hasn’t seen his Mother in almost 10 years. He does talk to her on the phone atleast every 2 or 3 days. And this just breaks my heart. What i would give for her to annoy me everyday.
U should prob just talk to her about it tho.
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Definitely talk to her before you grow to be bitter and hateful towards her, once that happens, every little thing she does will piss u off… it is the only way to repair the loving relationship 
I can’t say what you should do but l can tell you from my own personal experience that you will reap what you sow. It depends on how you treat her as to how you will be treated someday by your daughter or son in law. I wish so much that l had done different by my mother in law.
I live in my son’s house. So you could have her in your house. She could be lonely. Try to get to know her. Maybe do something together. include her a little bit. help her find new interests. Just remember, when she’s gone she’s gone for good.
Be patient & view it as another way to love husband & family… it may be that she is lonely &bored… does she have friends & interesting activities to make her feel loved & useful … just a suggestion
Please don’t be too difficult with your mother in law. I wish my mother in law is still with us. You are very fortunate to have her around, like others have suggested earlier, let her watch the kids while you and your hubby have date notes, run errands or have a me time. Trust me she not going to be around forever. I wish til this day that my children and grand kids knew her. You are blessed to have her around.
While it is definitely important to empathize with what your mother in law may be going through (loneliness, loss of purpose), it is essential for a family unit to be just that - a family. Create boundaries (she can come over on weekdays but not weekends, during certain times, for example.) Make sure you and your hubby are on the same page. Extended family is great, but you and your family need time to build traditions, bond, and grow together.
No matter how nice you tell her, she will be very hurt. She isn’t going to bed in your house so you have time alone. You may be in her shoes some day. Think about it. She sounds lonely. Leave her alone. I grew up with grandparents. I didn’t know they were my dad’s parents until my grandpop died because my mom called them mom and dad. Dad’s sister Mary lived with us until I was 8 when she married. Dad’s sister Lena and husband and daughter Edythe lived with us while waiting to move into the house they bought. Loved having family around. Edythe and I became very close from that time.’ Loved her so much.
Communication is KEY to everything. By you not saying anything, and your husband being a mommas boy, you need to have boundaries and expectations. You need to have a conversation with you husband and tell him your thoughts and how you feel. If he loves, respects, and values, and understands, there should be something he can be accepting to do for you, and let his mother now. If not, then he don’t care how you feel.
I love family. I wish I had my mom or my mother-in law in my kids life. My mom lives in a different state and my mother- in- law passed away. Cherish the time she is there. Time flies and sometimes we don’t miss something or someone till we loose it😔 don’t take that away from your kids.
I have 2 daughters that have their own place they lived an hour drive from me. I wish they lived closer to me so I can go over everyday. I wish we can all live together again. I miss them everyday. I would be like your mother in-law. Be honest with her I’m sure she doesn’t see it.
And I’m all alone with zero visitors to help all week while my husband is at work-send her my way a few days lol. That’s a hard one, husband needs to see that it’s too much for you every single day!
I would just have a polite conversation with her and let her know you love and appreciate her help but you need family time with just your husband and kids and would like to plan days for her to come over. But be firm and let her know that unannounced visits arent working or allowed anymore. You will need a heads up at least. This is your family and you deserve to live the way works for you and how you want. I love my mil but I would allow ANYONE to come over everyday.
Let her come over and you and hubby go out without the kids. I’m sure after a few times alone with the kids for a few hours at a time she will start to spend less time there 
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