What Martha Moreno fails to tell you is Im 53 years old, working full time at a very strenuous job physically and emotionally, I have also adopted 4 of my other grandsins ages 7, 10, 11, and 12 as a single parent 8 years ago. Im also fighting the effects of valley fever that leaves me feeling really tired allot. She also fails to tell you that when ever I have come over Im under a microscope, I failed to hug her, I didn’t say the right things, I didn’t get on my son and tell him how to discipline his own child, I didn’t talk to her enough even though I get one or two word answers. If I ask my son for help with anything around my house, I see posts about how it funny it is that family ignores you till they need something. I tried to have a heart felt conversation with her years ago hoping she would understand and thought she did only to see a post immediately afterwards that she was a single parent and still found time for family and friends no excuses accepted. Martha Moreno refuses to see that the phone goes both ways and making someone feel accepted when they do make the effort goes along ways. I love all my grandchildren and do the best I can right now. When I have a moment to myself I like to relax and unwind, why would I put myself in an uncomfortable situation. She has blocked me from my sons phone before so I couldn’t call him, she has blocked me from Facebook off and on, She is constantly posting negative stuff indirectly towards me.
Speaking from someone that just buried hers last month and her father n Law the same month five years before. Be grateful she is still around. I can understand wanting notice prior to just showing up but the way you wrote this was you were just annoyed with her so I’m sure the notice wouldn’t help any.
Wow I wish I had that problem.
Say something nicely before you explode not so nicely
Ur in a relationship with him, not his mother…Its ur home too, u need to draw a line… u have ur own lives and dont need to have inlaws or parents around all the time, ur home is ur space, non of my family just rock up when ever they want and walk in our home un invited, dont suck it up and deal with it, talk to ur hubby first then her and say I have things to do and want my own space, so let’s plan on days u come over not just turn up here, she mite be lonely has all her kids moved out? Xx
Seriously, if you had in laws whom did nothing for you or your kids you’d be complaining of that! Geez, seriously grow up & think of how to have your in law help you in other ways to give you time to be with your husband instead of complaining. Sorry, but when kids are in the picture there aren’t any breaks… My mother comes over a lot at times unannouced; I would hope my husband doesn’t have petty complains such as these. Life is too short & there will be a time God will taje my mom & I’ll have those memories of her having taken the time to visit not only us to help but both my boys! Be grateful! 
I would sit her down and explain that you love her and you love all the support and her relationship with each of you, but that you do need some time without her around.
Say something and tell her not to. Simple.
I dunno… i see where your coming from but also seems your the only one with a problem. 
I dont see a big deal with it. Spend that time with her. Ask her to help you make dinner if she in the way, ask her if she wants to go halfies on pizza night, ask her to help the kids with homework, delegate! and try to appreciate an involved grandma. One day your kids will remember all the time she use to come over.
If is not heartless nor selfish for you to want alone time with your family. Your husband isn’t going go say anything, so I would talk to him about it first, then let your mother in law know how you feel.
She probably doesn’t even see an issue with it. You just need to let her know. My in-laws come over on set days, Thursday and sometimes Saturday if we as a family aren’t planning anything. You just need to set boundaries and there is nothing wrong with that.
Yeah I’d have to tell her to get out and get a hobby bc majority of your time should be your spouse and kids
Tell him you need a break from hosting.
Why don’t you talk to her and let her know how you feel tell her you guys really need alone family time she can’t read your mind.
I grew up next to my grandparents and even then there were evenings that my Grandmother would tell us to not come over, that they would like a quiet evening alone. Same went the other way, we would have times where it was just a family night and grandparents weren’t invited or specifically asked to leave us alone. I was very close to my grandparents and I don’t think any of us felt it was rude, it was just how to handle it. When I lived near my in-laws my MIL would drop in for a coffee occasionally but mostly she would call and ask first if it was OK. I would not have any problem telling someone we needed private time as a family, but I think in this situation it needs to be the husband to speak up to his mother. I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all.
Is this a real post 
??
And all these people complain about Family members not being involved enough SMH.
Make sure that she is well fed and comfortable 
She may get on your nerves but at least you have her I know what you mean my father in law did the same thing and now he’s gone and I wish he still did come over everyday
You should be thankful for her involvement and support BUT you also need your space and alone time. Is she single or widowed? Maybe she’s lonely. If that’s the case maybe try helping her find a group or club to get involved in. Or find some hobbies. Ask your husband if he would feel the same way he does about his mom coming over everyday if it was your family instead. If he would have an issue with your family coming over everyday then something definitely needs said to his mother.
You can say that you feel like you and your husband need to spend some quality time with the kiddos until further notice. Then when she asks after a few days, tell her that you’ve really been loving their time as a family together and would like to continue this by including her by coming over twice a week. She can pick the two days she’d like to come over or you can.
I think what I would do in that situation is take the opportunity to go out. She wants to come over everyday then fine, have some alone time with the kids then while I go run errands or even just go get your nails done (if you can), you could go to the gym, go for a walk, anything you like, you know, good old self care 
it’s not everyone who has the privilege to have a grandparent that wants to be as involved and tell yourself, this lady will not be around forever, sadly.
Sit down and have a discussion with both your husband and your mother-in-law. Tell her you appreciate her wanting to spend time with the family, but this day and this day (one or two days a week and one weekend day, maybe) are for you, your husband and your kids to have family time.
Why don’t you come up with a schedule of days and times for her to be over your place? That may work. Make an excuse that certain days are reserved for family bonding or whatever
I would speak to your husband about it. People seem to forget that’s your house too and you are every bit entitled to want a day where no one comes over, mother in law or not.
Just because she is your husband’s mother doesn’t mean she gets a special pass, especially if she’s inviting herself over.
I moved right across the street from my mil but we made it clear to call before anyone shows up. We have a understanding that we do NOT wanna see each other everyday. I was so worried about it but it’s actually been great. She needs to respect your space and since she isn’t doing that, its time to have a conversation.
Wow, I have been in your shoes. My husband and I lived far for some time but decided to move closer to family and my MIL used to always show up unannounced and it would drive me nuts, it drove my husband nuts too but he did talk to her about it and she has somewhat stopped but it is a lot better than it used to be. I hear you and I feel your pain but you have to do something about it in a very polite way, ask your husband to have a conversation with her or do it yourself in a very gently way. You are entitled to privacy in your own home. Good luck!
Its wonderful she wants to be there for you guys! Definitely talk to her about how much you appreciate her and her being around but you want to spend more time with just hubby and the kids. Ask her to check before she comes even since sometimes people just aren’t in the mood to have people over that don’t live there!
Know how when a mom has a newborn and just needs a break and some set ‘me time’? Where she still loves her baby, enjoys her time with the baby. But the mom seriously just needs a break to herself?
Alot of yall sound that asshole who comes along and says “oh you’ll miss it when their grown so enjoy it now. They are only little once, fuck you and your feelings, blah blah blah etc”.
Just because its fine with you, doesn’t mean it is with her. She’s asking for advice on how to approach this, not a guilt trip.
My advice is to enlist your husband if you don’t think it will go good coming from you. Even though he doesn’t feel its a problem, YOU do and he should help you. You’re not banishing her. Her feelings in this aren’t the only one that matters here.
If you and she are close, talk to her. Tell her you love her but you want (insert whatever time frame) days or time as a family unit.
Just ask her. Maybe she can help you plan something special for you and your husband. It might be fun for her to help you some with that and then she won’t come that day because she knows you guys are going to spend some one on one time together. Idk. My parents don’t come over often and neither does my MIL lol
Reminds me of Marie Barone. Lol
Tell her to step off. You need your personal space. Anyone telling you to be thankful is some kind of freaky weirdo that has way too much involvement in someone else’s life
Your husband should man up nicely respectfuly tell her how it is or you should but be tactful or could backfire been there done that not very pleasant 
Tell your man how you feel and let him express the emotions to his mom as if it’s his idea and your idea. It’s more appropriate to let him tell her
And it’ll feel like you made a decision as a team and not just you
Talk to your husband!!!
I can see both sides. As a kid growing up my Nana was at our house or we were with her every single day. I ultimately thing that was a big part of my parents divorce though. As an adult I LOVE my MIL and she’s like a mom to me BUT I like having time to just myself, my husband and my son. I think there needs to be a happy medium.
I would just relay info to your husband … everyone deserves one on one time… I would suggest maybe she can have a weekly night with just her and kids and you and hubby have date night… this way when you see her more than usual your more receptive to her being around cause you were able to bond with husband or if you get enough time with him let her have him for the night and you get away with the kids … and if need away time with everyone just make plans before she comes over and asks her to please water plants or pets while gone … sounds like she just wants to be included …
I wish i had someone to come over n bug me lol … Mil lives far away n dnt have a mom anymore
Tell her you are so happy to see her! You could use her Help!! Have her fold laundry, empty the dishwasher, sweep!! Im sure you will love it when she pops in!! LOL 
Is her last name Barone?
Let the husband know and expect a solution from him. If not then you go for it and tell her yourself. It’s in is best interest to find a happy medium otherwise have at it.
The day will come when you don’t have her anymore, enjoy having her
Tell him to speak with her otherwise you have to do it and communicate how you feel. Or just don’t be home the next time she goes over there
I moved an hour away from my in-laws for this same reason, in the past year I’ve seen them about 4 times and I’m loving it
Well unless you want a divorce youre stuck or have enough guts to say stop it youre driving me nuts lol
Sounds like she’s lonely
If she’s good to you, your husband and your children bite your tongue. I would’ve loved to have had a mother-in-law that treated me like a daughter and my son like a grandson. Life is too short. Once someone is gone they are GONE. 
Maybe take the kids to her house more often. Then she wouldn’t be at yours all the time.
Talk to your husband about how you want family time just you guys and the kids. And one on one time with him.
Go over to her house before she has the chance to come to yours or tell your husband to go visit her. You married a mama’s boy which is fine for a while, but he has a wife and kids to tend to now. Holidays and birthdays are times for gathering, not daily. A phone call can be just as effective while not losing the love.
Mason Hunter this will be your wives posting about me one day:rofl:
I wish my mother n law was like thar
Go out everyday. Make yourself unavailable this will make her start to call to see if your about
Stop letting her in. A mother sets boundaries for her boy but when that boy becomes a man he departs from his mother and honors his wife who sets new boundaries for him. He’s married to you not to his mom.
Have her watch the kids and you and the husband goes out for date night etc . Nothing wrong with going out .
From a single mom with no family around, I can’t relate but will say that you are very lucky and should be grateful.
Just ask her very NICELY if she would mind giving you guys a bit of alone time.
And don’t forget to tell her how much you love her and love her support. But maybe just a BIT more alone time.
Like maybe choose a day.? 
Im sure she will understand if she say it lovingly. And of course, her feelings might be hurt a bit, so be prepared to be empathetic. But it’s fine. You’re all adults. And just remember, you guys are her babies. She loves you.
I certainly would embrace this. I had the most amazing mother in law and when she passed away, she took that family dynamic away with her
Honestly…i have been in your shoes before and I used to feel the same way. Now…my MIL doesn’t come around at all and its going on almost 7 months since she has even seen my kids. It hurts because my kids LOVED that time with grammy…now they dont see her at all (by her choice) and it makes me sad my kids don’t have that bond anymore. Be thankful
Be glad you have that…I hope my sons future wife doesn’t get sick of me I’d be heartbroken, we raise them and love them with all our soul and I get everyday is much but consider yourself lucky you have family that care and want to be around you and your children
Very tough. Maybe you and your husband could schedule time away more when your kids are somewhere else. Or try to subtly introduce her to some kind of organization or hobby or person so she has another interest.
All you have to do is speak to your mother in law. Maybe she needs a hobby. My son’s would Love to have me come around all the time. But I love my peace and quiet. So I don’t visit my son’s everyday. It’s more like maybe once every so many months 
Make sure you help and that you aren’t there to be ‘waited’ on. She needs help not an extra person to entertain!
Embrace every moment she’s there AND tell her politely that it’s date night with your husband and/or family more often, must create boundaries and do it before the resentments take hold deeply
Kinda new what you were getting into before your married though it’s not like it just started happening, should enjoy the time you have with her if not could always move.
I do synthesis with you , but it is nice to have somebody in the family around to help? , I no it cauld be annoying, but when she leaves she has helped you, there for you and your children? , Some people like myself don’t have anyone to help or visit me? , And then that day will come when you need her or someone and no one else or , no one is there? For you or your children count yourself lucky! Just saying , you can have alone time with your husband when she goes home? I would count myself lucky I had someone who wants be there an help? 
MIL can overstep at times but speak to her set the boundaries evan though you get along is doesn’t mean you cant speak to her or disagree.
Especially because you get along so well be open cause having mom over everyday get a bit much I am sure I like my space dont invite yourself over everyday thats to much.
Talk to her cause you do need My Family Only Time!
I was the Mother in-law that lived with my daughter!
I always kept to my room.
I cooked, cleaned laundry and ironed.
It bothered my daughter being there. more than my Son-in-law.
I finally found my own apartment and I visit once in a while. My grandkids miss me more than my daughter.
My Mother lived with when I was married AND
She bothered me.
So Payback is a BI$$H!
My mother in law used to drive me crazy, but she found out she had colon cancer, and passed away a couple of years later. I wish I could go back in time and appreciate her more.
As a wife then a mother with a mother in law super women needed her a lot as a young mum and now a grandma and a great grandma all I can say is I followed her lead always said pipping round and have tried to be a good. However I was a young m.i.l ad worked so a bit different. Have a word with husband and I’d he sees not a problem maybe a quiet word with his siblings. That really us all you can do without abd this is a definite alienating her so your choice babe’s I an afraid. Good luck. X
You suck it up & be kind. You are the family she has & needs. She raised a good son be a good wife
I wish I had my mother in law help me all the time but alas, I do everything by myself. Since I have birth to my baby. We’re 2 years in now. Be grateful that you have a village to help you take care of your children. Some mothers (like me) don’t have that luxury
Boundaries are a wonderful thing. Communicate with her.
Set a limit. You have to have healthy boundaries. Talk to your husband and explain to him how you feel.
Offer to go to her home with the kids, make lunch, kids draw pictures so she can hang up in frames on wall, play a kids game that she keeps at her home so it can be played when you go there…make her home as comfy with grandkids belongings and activities so she feels happy being home more often…with memories of time spent there with her grandkids…
Rethink everything you have against yr mother inlaw and appreciate her while she is here…If you need to do stuff ask if she would mind helping you out now while you spend time with yr husband.Im sure she won’t mind
I used to complain to my husbands sisters. They would politely scold her. But she still came. Only stayed 2 hrs. That was her schedule. Every day. She died on our 40th anniversary year.
Set boundaries and talk to your husband about you need spaces from family and friends coming over
Maybe she can come over on weekends then you and your husband can have time to your selfs
I definitely went through this with my first daughter and she slowly started to try and take control over raising my kid and trying to pin me against my husband…She would ask me if we would be okay with something and I would tell her no and she would turn around and go ask him and it would piss me off…after a few times of that happening I said you know what fuck it no more And I cut them out of our lives for about 8 months… Now she asks me before doing anything. The first time we got into it was when I didn’t want my sister-in-law who was wanted and a fugitive and an addict to come visit my daughter in the hospital after I just had her. Mind you I was also a recovering addict so I didn’t want a druggie anywhere near me…If you draw lines and she cannot respect it then you need to talk to your husband about it and have him put boundaries in place. If he puts those boundaries in place and she still doesn’t listen then sometimes you need to cut them off for a little while…
Get all “sexy time” with him and then… “oh, sorry, your mom’s here.” He’ll start to see the disadvantage.
This happened years ago with us I kept my moith shut but it got old and after 27 years my husband didnt see anything wrong with it we got a divorce. Other problems came into play bit that was what actually started tbe whole thing. It’s hard to fix but you can do it. I spoke with my husband no results. I spoke with my in laws no results every weekend it got old after awhile.
Plan to go out with your immediate family for some quality time and space …drives,hikes picnics eat out etc
Come out of the bedroom stark naked and act mortified to see her.
Probably won’t happen as often after that.
Does she help out? Give her errands to run? Laundry to fold?
Tread lightly. This could easily cause hurt feelings between you n your spouse.
Does she actually help out or is she just there to socialize and eat your food?
Don’t know the situation but maybe she is lonely?!
Good luck with this one . It will be a huge deal if you expose your feelings. I would try making plans for you and your husband to do something if she’s gonna be there anyway. Like go shopping or something you both like to do. Or… make plans for you and your husband and the kids to pull you out of the house. If you don’t work… get a job that is the opposite hrs of your husband .But do not tell your husband about how you feel about the mom thing. Mammas boys are very conflicted in their bonding issues.
Simply put, does your husband want a wife or a mother? His mother needs to “visit,” not walk in everyday like she’s entitled to. No visits by her, either, unless she’s invited. She’s living her “family” years all over again, vicariously, and that’s not good for your family.
Tell her to go join bowls once a week at list or bingo I couldn’t handle that
I guess it depends on how long it is every day. If some days she just pops in for a bit or if every day she is there all day long. But also, I grew up in a family where I lived with my grandparents in a 2 family house and my cousins lived down stairs. A few houses down we owned another 2 family that my 2 uncles and their families lived in. We all saw each other just about every day. Whenever I see these posts all I can think is we are only a few years off from being the in laws, so treat her how you would want to be treated. Your kids are watching
Does she take care of your kids?
Does your mom come over all the time?
when she comes over go stay at her place awhile enjoy your time alone
Just let go and let be at this age people love company and grandchildren appreciate one you 
her
Can you send her to me please 
mine doesn’t visit at all like never . Although if it’s becoming to much just say I’m sure she should appreciate the honesty xx
I like the one day a week is immediate family only day idea the best!
Cherish the time you have, tomorrow is not promised!
Set a schedule and talk to her mother to mother. Hopefully she’ll understand
She sounds lonely ,find her a companion to do things with
Maybe shes lonely get the kids to go there win win
Start having some sexy time around the house… Once you get caught she will start calling first