Start traditions. Like Wednesday is family only night. And make Friday date night. Which means when she comes over, you and your husband leave. You could set boundaries like, the last hour before bed, no company the night before a school day. Like no company after 7 Sunday thru Thursday. Maybe take everyone to her house on Saterday or Sunday afternoon. So you can take your family and leave. It may be hard to start. But you can drop words like “healthy boundaries” and “respect.”
I had the same problem with mine, I ended up leaving, I wish i woulda handled it differently because i lost 2 and a half years with my husband, she still has no clue , but she hates me anyway, we get our 25th anniversary in 2 weeks, we just recently decided to give it one more try
Take her, and only her, out to lunch and just TALK TO HER!!! Make some plans to have family time and just designate that day away from home . She will understand. Give her a chance by talking to her.
Quit whining girl. My mother in law went to prison for trying to stab someone with scissors over drugs. Be great full she cares.
Say something but to him not her because it’s something he should’ve already took care of knowing that that’s your homs
Lock your door, dont let her in without plans yeah it makes you a bitch its worth your sanity
Never judge a book by its cover, I had always talked rubbish about the spiritual healers because i was living a luxurious life with my husband and kids. I never believed that anyone can solve someone’s problems. I could rudely reply to the posts about the healers with insults little didi know that one day they will help me. It started when a strange disease attacked one of my kid for almost eight months. I visited all the hospitals in South Africa but the doctors couldn’t see the disease. I went to pastors, Sheiks, Sisters, and priests but couldn’t see any change. I sold all of my properties and lost my business because I was charged lots of money. I went back to Zero. My husband was used to a luxurious life since he was coming from a rich family. He started losing interest in me, disrespected me, insulted me in our kids’ presence, all my in-laws hate me. I had no shoulder to cry on.I was left with no hope. The most heartbreaking part is when my husband started cheating on me with one of the member of Parliament which I won’t mention her name. I got depressed and tried to commit suicide until when my friend asked me to contact papa marere . I had lost hope and besides didn’t trust healers. I called them scammers. My friend used his cellphone and called her. She gave him a date to go to her office and on that date, my friend picked me very early in the morning and took me there. I explained everything to her. She asked us to go back and bring the sick kid and we did so. She cast her spells and after a few hours, my son was healed. After 24 hours my husband came back home and apologized to me. he gave me a ring for my business and as I speak now am not complaining. I got back everything.+2348109805184 is his number for help. Email him via ( marerespells@gmail. com ) he is INCREDIBLE.
Move. Don’t leave a forwarding address.
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Take advantage of date nights, free babysitter!!!
Never marry a mommas boy!
Answer the door naked
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…you could also try getting over yourself:woman_shrugging:
I have no answer just like reading the comments 
let your husband talk to her
Watch everybody loves Raymond…
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Suck it up n be grateful
Pray And Talk To Yr Paster
Talk to your husband
Wow… thats family… you got issues.
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Start inviting your mother over on the opposite days 
I think he’ll get it then bah ha ha aha
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Send her by me…I need some help…
Sounds like Everybody Loves Raymond.
Send the grandkids to her house a couple of times a week
Get a job let her take care of things…
She probably just need family rn.
Ughh sounds like the story of my life they over stay
U gonna have to talk to ur husband and tell him u want some time to urself get it done
Treasure every moment.
I wish my mil was still alive I loved her and miss her everyday
Suck it up butter cup
Talk to hubby to talk to mom.
She just feeling lonely ,
Collet Baird your advice is needed:joy:
I love my Mommy in law
Count your blessings and let Grandma visit.
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Thank God I don’t have a DIL like some of you!!
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Appreciate having a family 
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Damn bro that sucks 
I wouldn’t say anything so you guys don’t have problems…I would just make it maybe to where she can’t just show up or just figure out another way 
Just tell her Bitch you in My space lol We need 2 talk🤣
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Be an adult and confront her…
Sorry but I’d love to have my mother in law around. She and my father in law have both passed. If she’s in your space maybe give her wee jobs to do that keep her out of your hair. We did that when my father in law drove my hubby up the wall. Worked well!! Enjoy that they want to be with you and the kids get to see their grandparents. One day they’ll be gone and the kids will have memories
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I’d take it as a break. From everyone. Girl, go take a quiet bath while she’s there. Drink a glass of wine in peace, let her cook, too! They’d just notice I be gone when granny come. Speak and leave. If they complain, then say something, but honestly, I’d take the quiet time.
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I’m a single mum and totally alone here, my own family doesn’t live here and my ex’s family comes “twice a year” when they would really have to, so I wish someone was coming and stayed with my daughter I could have my own time for bit. Use it as going for a shopping alone or walks…
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Some daughter in laws are so selfish. They will be these mother in laws one day and the shoe will be on the other foot. These ppl seem to think that the only time their mother in laws are of any use, is when they want them to babysit, or when they want something. If it’s such a problem, why go viral? Have the balls to have a discussion, rather than make it, your husbands problem. Some sons, want their mums around. Do these same husbands make it a wife’s problem when the mums mother, does the same thing, is it suddenly ok for one and not the other? Grow up!
I’d never say a thing these people ain’t always around forever u might regret it in the end what’s a few hours throughout the day maybe she’s lonely and finds use give her company
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One day she won’t be here! Think of that! Older people just get lonely!! That’s the reason they have children! It’s our turn to make their life a happy one!
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At least she is nice to you. I had mother in law from hell. Maybe try to schedule family Friday nights, when you say this is only for your immediate family. Can she take kids on occasion for a fun activity?
If she is not expecting you to seat there, maybe go and run errands or give her something to do every time she comes over.
If she would get active w a hobby or some social group maybe that would solve the problem. Can you introduce her to a fun senior group/activity she would enjoy?
Tough Love. Talk to her if you don’t like it. Honestly the best. But at same time grandparents aren’t here for ever 
,
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I’m divorced because of my ex husbands family, especially his mother.My husband and I lived in the same building as his family. Very intrusive people and my ex and I had no personal time. Also, everyone had keys to our apartment. They dropped in when they chose to. If we did not answer the door, they let themselves in. It was awful. Hubby would not say or do anything. We had many arguments over the lack of privacy plus, they were in our business. I finally had to leave him. There was no other choice. You have to set boundaries and have your husband back you. If he doesn’t, there will be problems. Good luck.
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Believe it or not… you will miss it when she’s gone. Mother in law just passed and I would give anything to have her back. Didn’t know my heart was that close to her.
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I don’t mean to sound rude but just trying to give a different view on it. I wish my mother in law was alive to be over at our house every day. To be apart of my daughters life and to see the joy on my husbands face to see her with our daughter. 
I know it can be hard but also consider it a blessing because one day she won’t be there. I hope I didn’t offend anyone this post just pricked my heart and I felt I needed to share.
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M amazed on ur thoughts… just think if ur son do this wid u. Remember one thing plz dear ur mother in law has 1st right on ur husband not u. Plz read some Hadith, hoping ull get a good path that will help u out in taking decision.
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I have been in this position. It’s hard. Try talking to your husband. Explain how you feel. In my experience going to her first will probably make it worse depending how much of a mamas boy he is. Good luck
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I live 2 hours from my MIL and mom so I cant relate but personally I’d love the break. Plus my 3 year old LOVES grandma and their close relationship melts my heart. I think boundaries are okay though but your husband should initiate that in my opinion because it’s his mother and you both should be on the same page.
You can love someone and still set boundaries, with both your husband and his mother. Everyday is excessive and you have a right to your space! Approach him first and communicate the situation lovingly. Then, approach her gently and let her know you love her, then tell her that you’d prefer personal family/husband time once in a while. Perhaps start by telling her she can come by with every other day or a few times a week, and/or call first. There is nothing wrong with setting those boundaries, and if you have to be firm, go for it! Best of luck.
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Tell her you trying to establish a routine with the kids and have some dedicated family time and you would appreciate if she would assist by checking with you before she drops by. You would hate for her to stop by and you guys aren’t home or having dedicated family time
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Suck it up lovely! That’s ur hubbys mother.she won’t live forever.be greatful she is there for u all
She is here only for days so may b she wants the same as you want to spend some times with her family
You can either put her off …full the kids with e numbers and have em ready for a sleep over at nanas house …or stop being loving with the hubby and just tell him his mum wears you out and gets in your head and puts you off …she will either avoid coming to visit in fear of having the kids pushed in her …or he get blue balls and man up lol
Every day is a bit much you guys need to live too. Would definitely have a chat with her and tell her how you feel in the nicest possible way x
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Politely tell her you love her very much but please don’t come bye everyday good luck
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All I know is when my sons are adults I hope I’m always welcome around them and their family 
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I wished my mom was here So be grateful one day she won’t be around .And I am always welcomed at my children’s home
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As long as he’s a mamas boy, nothing would change. Just my opinion
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Have a conversation with her about the way you feel there’s no need for her to come over everyday
Talk to him about the concerns. Lol.
Go get margaritas with the girls about once a week
I personally wouldn’t say anything. That’s because my mom comes over just about every day. Sometimes it’s to drop something off, pick something up or just come visit. There would be major issues if my husband had a problem with it. She doesn’t just show up though, we usually talk about it or plan it. We live about a mile from each other so we are around one another a lot.
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I grew up surrounded by God and church members from the very beginning. Being risen by Christian home, I always followed through the motions of doing “Christian things” that I thought a Christian was supposed to do. I didn’t know GOD, I just knew about Him.
I found myself searching for purpose and meaning in people and also in myself. Whether that was my friends or in relationships, I poured my whole heart into them. I became very consumed with what people thought of me and was living for the acceptance of the world.
At my lowest point when I lost my lovely husband to a beautiful young girl I think we call slay queens these days, I was alone and afraid, I couldn’t concentrate at work not even at any other thing I could work on. Losing my concentration cost me so much that I ended up losing my job too and went back to staying at my parents’ house with my two kids. I can’t lie to you, it was always more hurting and annoying staying home because my mom’s friends used to almost come every day to visit and sit outside talking about their marriages’ and fun they had maybe like during the weekends’ and laugh, OMG, that laugh they used to give always killed me. After what friends showed me that year I admit I had turn into a jealous person. That year was a year I will never forget. I could wake up in the morning sit on the couch watch Isindigo, login Facebook and all those sorts of social Medias and cry the whole day with my mum nursing me until it reached a time that she was also getting fade with my sobbing. It was my daughter’s birthday and some few people turned up, many were my mums friends and actually my daughters friends none of my closest turned up and it was from then I noticed that “people will always love you and support you when its beneficial” out of my mums friends, I found myself initiated in a long and funny conversation with one of them after the party. I won’t forget the fact that her husband called almost like 10 times in a period of 5 minutes just to remind her how he loved her and wishing her to drive safe back home, believe me I had never had that experience with my man. Later on during the conversation, she saw me burst into tears and she asked me what was going on, I told her everything I was going through with my life. And it was from here that I got to know about Dr. Mama Shamina +27673785858 a very cunning woman I have ever met. She told me about her meeting with Dr. Mama Shamina and she actually never gave me her numbers but took me with her to Dr. Mama Shamina. Being a born Christian, believe me I had a very big challenge here. Like how am I going to mix these two things from growing up in a Christian home to starting to believe in African tradition, but I kept on consoling myself. I always kept on having dreams having money, living lavish, and snakes chasing me, falling in very deep holes, having sex with people I don’t even know, being shot, losing fights and many more dreams that didn’t make sense to me. One morning of a beautiful Saturday I went on and called this lady (my mums’ friend) and told her I was ready to meet Mama , she came home, picked me and we went to meet Dr. shamina . She asked me what she wanted to use and I gave her everything then she conducted her prayers. What surprised me was that she was using a BIBLE and mirror to conduct her prayers then after everything she asked me to go back home and wait on the results. It took me 5 days then the father of my kids came to my parents place and He was all in tears telling me that the young girl she had opt to stay with was using muthi on him and she was targeting his riches she even tried to poison him like the evening before he came home but he missed on the poison and the cat ate it instead and he had come to ask for forgiveness and that he saw me in the dream like two days back and he was kneeling begging me to come back in his life and that’s why he had drove home to ask for my forgiveness. Believe me I cried even more than before when he was telling me his story. After like a week, I got a call that Eskom needed me back to work after a period of a year and a half.
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Talk to him and then both of you talk to her and her husband.
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Talk to him about it. Let him know you would to have family time. Good luck
As far as Mils go this one sounds like an Angel. Let her spend as much time as possible. After losing a parent I’ve realized how priceless time really is.
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Be Thankful you’ll miss this someday
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Im a MIL and I stop by to see my girls pretty often. I always ask if they have plans or need alone time. I do try and help maybe fold laundry or wash a dish or walk the dog. Because I truly love them both. My daughter and I are close and my DIL is the best, I pray they never feel this way. But I do respect them and their home and their privacy.
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Tell your husband straight up you’re sick of her coming over everyday un invited. It’s rude
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I had this problem with my ex only whenever she would come over I’d get criticized and ganged up on. My ex was a huge momma’s boy and I couldn’t even hang a picture in his house without him asking her what she thought. I’d tell her to keep visiting but not every day. I bet it’s a little better when you get along.
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Tell her nicely… honestly…u want family time w ur hubby n kids.
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Set boundaries. Speak to your husband and explain it exactly like you have here. If he doesn’t respect that, there’s a larger problem here. Explain to her that you’re thankful for her help, but if she could limit her visits to maybe three times a week instead would be less overwhelming for you?
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She is family! Just enjoy her company.
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It seems you are all that she has and is lonely
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Give her a chance to babysit at her place, and tell your husband you want a date day. You’ll get a break from her and you’ll get to hang with the hubby. Personally though, I wish my MIL lived close enough to be over every single day… I’m constantly missing her. However, not everybody has the same relationship with their MILs or mothers in general.
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To everyone telling you to be grateful and enjoy - thats what we call toxic positivity. Its gaslighting.
I see you as very grateful you want space and you deserve that! Its ok to need space even if you adore someone. I would just explain to your husband and see if you both can mention it to her. I did this recently w my parents bc they literally want to see my daughter 24/7 I explained we need our alone time and I need that w my daughter but we will continue to see them i just need space to parent solo. If people get offended by your boundaries it isn’t your problem its theirs.
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Your MIL could be feeling lonely or not needed any more, sit down with her and tell her you love her to bits and enjoy having her round but your worried she may be neglecting other things in her life when with you, if you get the feeling of loneliness look for other things/groups she could join (or you both could at first) to get her socialising. With the whole COVID thing it may be a difficult time to do this though xx
Honey try having ur inlaws and their 4 kids living with you 
and all they do is fight. Just tell her u guys have family time set aside and need her to not come on a certain day. She cares about u guys that’s all she is doing. If my mil cld come over and not be arguing with her kids i would love for her to be here everyday.
I’d just talk to her and be honest that you appreciate her and love her around, but need some space time to time. Maybe her MIL was not helpful or not great to her and she just wants to make sure she is being thr best MIL to you
At least she wants to see your family and your kids!
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All you women trying to basically make her feel bad for wanting some space are ridiculous!!! There is nothing wrong with how she feels! She’s aloud to want and need alone time with her family smdh
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Try letting her baby sit while you run errands, or you and husband have a date night leaving her with kids, or ask her to take them to her house. Also tell her you want to put kids to bed early so you and husband can have alone time
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Hard no. You need to draw the line in the sand. Inviting herself over daily is rude no matter who they are
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This is exact reason i didn’t buy a house near my in-laws. We’d have the same problem. Nothing wrong with drawing boundaries you need space too
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As long as your MIL is one of the sane ones, who just loves you guys and wants to help and/or lonely just sit her down for a chat. First tell her how much you appreciate her help and love her but let her know how your feeling. Explain that you just want some time as family unit. Also check on her mental health, if she is lonely or there is something else going on, try to see if you can help her. And like some ppl have suggested maybe she can babysit the munchkin/s at her so you get a break a couple times a week and some time with the hubby. Just talk to her and explain things without hurting her.
One day you will wish she would walk through the door to see your family but life is short lived and one day she will no longer be there. 
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Set boundaries. Tell her that she needs to call first and ask if it’s a good time to come over. Give her a few days a week that she is allowed over and set time limits. 2hrs and she needs to go.
Husband needs to man up and tell her this also or at least be there for you when you talk with her.
It. Is. Okay. To. Say. NO.
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Wow …!!! What about if is your mother ? Will it be alright? Heartless people , your time would come.
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Just tell her these are our kids and I would like some alone time with just my husband and kids. Or set a vacation up and tell her and your husband it’s only you husband and kids vaction
You have a husband problem not an in law problem
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Maybe she’s just lonely? Can you set up a schedule? Like specific family days where everyone including her goes, then days just you and the kids go while hubby and and mom bond. Then days where it’s just you, hubby and kids?
Ask her not to come over on specific days. Make “hubby and me only” days. Or put her to work if she’s gonna be there all day every day. Start sending the kids on errands with her! If shes gonna be around 24 7 you should expect her to be useful at least SOME TIMES. Just like a parent would be if their adult children were around all the time not living there or paying bills
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It’s hard finding balance with things like this. Your MIL comes over too much. Mine doesn’t come enough.
Don’t feel bad for wanting space. There is nothing wrong with that. I feel like it’s really important that you and your husband are on the same page though. Maybe talk to him about it and schedule days for her to come over or at the very least have her call to ask if it’s a good time.
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Tell her that you want days with just you guys through the week and don’t mind visitors one day a week at the weekend. But I’d be both grateful for her caring. 2 of my kids have never met their paternal family (bar dad) and one of them hasn’t seen them since he was 1. They rarely ever ask about them. Never send happy birthdays or anything.
Also consider that she might be lonely. And when you’re kids are all grown up and left the house. You could have a great friendship together.
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