Mine always told my kids to listen to your mother pretty much made them think she was in charge. We finally got our own space and things changed alot
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Sounds like she has mental health issues if she’s threatening to kill herself. You really need to get your child out of that situation.
I had my son and his family staying for a while but I never interfered in their parenting. I know its hard and of course you’ll struggle…but at least it won’t be toxic and your child won’t be confused.
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Get your children out of that toxic environment. The mother needs help and you’re not it!!!
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Move asap. Even a small apartment would be better than putting up with that negativity.
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She doesn’t respect you because she’s a narcissist and in her mind; her house ,her rules. Probably also feels that if you can’t afford your own place, you can’t afford a kid.
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Your MIL sounds like a psychopath. Threatening to kill herself or end up in the hospital is all forms of manipulation. Sounds like y’all need to gtfo whenever y’all can or live with other relatives. As far as her telling your child what to do, when you say no, you need to tell her to mind her own business. You may live under her roof, but YOU are the parent. I wouldn’t be as nice to her the other times tbh.
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Don’t let your mother in law rule you. STAND YOUR GROUND!!! She does that for spite. To me it is making it bad for your child. Put it to her point blank. That is not right what she is doing to your child. PUT HER IN HER PLACE AND STAND YOUR GROUND AND DON’T BACK DOWN!!!
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She sounds like a narcissist so you’ll never be able to reason with her. 3 years is a long time to live with your parents or in laws. Move out.
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This situation is awful I lived it ! There is no way out. Have hope nothing lasts forever just try to make plans or take your kids on a lot of walks till u can move out
Apply for Section 8 or some other housing assistance. Get out now. It’s way past time.
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This does not get better and I feel so bad for you❤
You need to find your own place.
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If you move out and she does that, let her. She needs to grow up.
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Have her son talk to her.
She sounds like a older women who has raised a son and knows how to raise a kid. It is her house and her rules. You , your husband , her and her husband need to sit down and discuss the rules between all of you, agree on some disagree and compromise on others. And tell about the relatives that told you she’s gonna kill herself or put herself in the hospital if yous move out… In the mean while get you and your husband’s shit together, put pennies away and find a cheap place to live. P.S. It’s Grandparents job to spoil the grandchildren …you’ll learn that when you become one.
Holy crap. You need to figure out a way to get out of that house as soon as possible. That is not healthy for you or your child
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It would be best for you guys to find your own place and I understand finally you’re unable to do that at this time you need to tell her bluntly and be firm with her. If she doesn’t like it oh well and your husband should be on your side 100%
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You do need to find a way to move out and you are not responsible for anything she may or may not do. This is gonna cause issues between you and your child.
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Get out, if she’s saying that in front of your kids not ok, they need to be listening to you. Put your foot down calmly and rationally. I know rent and homes are getting higher but try to get out.
Time for you to get out get a job and move out. 3 yrs and you haven’t saved? Probly bc your a sahm and if you can’t make it out with just your husband working time to pull your weight to… So get going and do what you need to do otherwise deal with it🤷♀️ it sucks but it is her home and she is not going to change how she acts in her own home your kid or not.
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That’s abuse and a sociopath. It’s a threat to make you do what she wants. Try to get out.
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My mom was the same way. I used little chocolate cars for potty training. She’d go & buy him a big bag. I’d say no she’d sneak it to him or tell him to do it right in front of me. When I confronted her I was told it’s a grandma’s job to spoil their grandchild. Our Dr even wrote her a note once telling her to stop. We were there 1 day with her, he was a total brat, any attempt from me to discipline was countered by “grandma’s privilege”. Another day it was just me & him & I was keeping him under control. Nothing made her stop. Even after she passed there’s behaviors he kept up. You need to move out ASAP. I can’t stress that enough. She’s using her role as his grandma & your elder to bully you. She doesn’t care she’s hurting your son in the long run. Right now he favors her because he’s allowed to do what he wants. That’s what she cares about.
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Find a way to move out. Plenty of opportunities to work from home since covid! Living with family like that almost always ends in disaster.
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Be an adult Get your own place or don’t complain
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Find your own place asap
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Nope. And if she pulled that card I’d disown her. Point blank you need your own place. My mother lives with me and she’d never go against my word with my kids. I’m mom.
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T.o.x.i.c.
Get out, and call some help for her bc she clearly needs it.
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If she threatens to harm herself, call the police and tell them. I bet she won’t pull that again. I hate to say this but she’s not going to change. Hopefully you can get your own place soon. I know it’s hard but hang in there and be strong.
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Move out! You can afford something, may not be a mansion but you can afford to move out…you’ve been there for 3 years…rent free, bill free? GROW UP MOVE OUT!!!
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You need to get out. Her threats arent your issue they are hers. If she is making such threats call the cops and have her involuntarily admitted to a hospital
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Move out, 3 years is way to long, get your own place, get on hud, or something, time to move on
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Find a way to leave, where there’s a will there’s a way.
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Just move out problem solved
3 years is a long time to still be struggling, no excuses. She probably feels responsible for you ALL even if she’s not. She’s never going to stop as she’s providing a space for y’all.
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Where is your husband???
My advice would be move out to your own place asap Ans then her option can just stay that.
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Yeah, if she really said those things, there’s no hope. She has serious mental health issues if she really said all that! She doesn’t respect you as a woman or mother. The only thing that can change that is getting out of her house.
Your MIL must be made from the same mold as mine was. While I did not live with my MIL, she lived in the same town and did all she could to make my life a living hell. Before my children came along, she did her best to turn my husband against me, and after my children were born, did all she could to make me look like a bad Mother…even lying to try to have my children taken away from me. My advice? Whatever it takes, GET OUT OF HER HOUSE…any way you can. Nothing you do will change her and she will only get worse as long as you are under her nose, and this is IMPORTANT… as long as your husband continues to not stand up to her. My MIL was the queen of the drama queens, and would actually check herself in to the hospital and blame me for upsetting her and making her sick (we would find out later that she would purposely go off her blood pressure meds!). Your MIL threatening to kill herself or doing something to end up in the hospital isn’t your problem…trust me, these narcissistic MIL’s will say and do anything to get what they want. Please get out of there, and never allow your MIL to be alone with your child, as she will try and turn your child against you as she is trying to do now. Good luck!
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If you’re in her house… 
Y’all need to do whatever it takes to MOVE… that kind of sick manipulation will never stop … and she has NO right to parent your child … why doesn’t her son tell her NO
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Move out. Your kids won’t respect you if others don’t. Best Western does work from home and they even supply the laptop and desk. I’d live in a one room studio before I let someone damage my relationship with my kids. It’s your mother in law? So your husband doesn’t have a spine to confront his mother. Go and go now. Tell her it’s to save your relationship
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You definitely have a problem. Your child is 3 and you can’t afford to move, chances are you will never be in a comfortable position to move. MIL is not going to change or stop undermining you and by age 2 children have formed patterns and ideas on how things and people work, it will take a lot of effort to change them. In a few years he will have to deal with society via school, when he starts acting out there your problems will become bigger and MIL will say it’s your fault.
You need to establish boundaries. This should have been done when you first moved in. At this point maybe you should get a job, put him in day care or preschool, even if it takes everything you earn. You need to change this toxic relationship.
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I’m in a Similar bs situation…I alone cant afford my own place so I’m forced to live with my mother. I’d suggest try getting on housing assistance and wait it out till you can get tf out bc hunny, it doesn’t sound like she ever gonna change the toxicity that she insists on doin and chances are, it’ll only get worse. Good luck and I hope you eventually are given the opportunity to get free from that unhealthy environment!!
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You have no option move out more than 3 yrs living there? You have to be able to afford something! Take a 1 bedroom apartment if meed be! Just get out of her house! Key words in laws home…they rule
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Move out. Call her bluff. How dare she play that bullcrap game!
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Y’all been living with her for over 3 years? Leave immediately and raise your child how you want in your own place.
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First question, what is your age, your child’s age and your MIL age? Your HUSBAND needs to handle his mother. And you can bring up that your child has one mother and it’s YOUR job to raise them with the morals and values you and your husband agree to… her JOB is a grandmother. She is suppose to give them a cookie or sit and do crafts and cuddle with them on rainy days watching Disney movies. That’s the ONLY job a grandmother has UNLESS help is asked for. Tell her you want to figure out parenting on your own and she should trust what her son wants and the partner he picked. You tell her she should enjoy her grandson and let you do the dirty work…. And as for snacks and cookies, just ask if they were told no beforehand please because kids are sneaky for snacks 
once YOU say that to her it’s up to your husband to handle her and be the LEADER his wife and child need by creating an environment that all feel valued. If he cannot…. Then you may have to “wear the pants” and tell him to take on a second job to get y’all out of there
Move will be better for you & Your kids health
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Time to move. It may not be easy, but right now you’re sacrificing simmering far more important.
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Ur husband need to grow balls and tell her. But u do as well. Stop sitting there and letting this women control u guys. I would have been long gone even if I have to leave my husband.
If you become independent and move out she’s going to kill herself? What a nut job 
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Her house, her rules!
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Three years??? What’s keeping you from getting a small apartment? If you want no interference you have to move out.
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I would go to an extended stay before I let that happen….but I am a snapper….I will snap on you quick!!!
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You are living with your in- laws so what you say don’t matter if you want your say get a place of your own two family can’t live together
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Get out of her house. What are you doing that you can’t get out of our house three years later?
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Get your own home. That will settle everything
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She is mentally ill you need to get our asap
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Move out. If she’s threatening suicide then she needs mental help.
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Reach for the child and the door knob and go.
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Yikes, that’s scary. Can your SO push to get her some mental health help? There’s clearly some deeper shit going on. 
Move out… She’s shown You more than once that her way of doing things is the only way… No Matter what you say or do it will not matter, not as long as you’re in her house.
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You need to get your own house, bottom line. You can tell her your wishes until youry blue in the face but it sounds like no matter what she isn’t going to respect that.
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She seems very toxic. She needs to get therapy for threatening suicide if you move, because you’re going to have to move regardless, it’s the normal thing to do! If I were you, I would try to get outta there ASAP! She has no respect for you & boundaries. How confusing for your child, too!
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Suggest going to a parenting course together so its someone else telling her you both need to be on the same page. I did this with my mother when I had to stay with her for a bit and it helped I also kept gently reminding her the child was my child and I was mum she was grandma
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Holy hell, y’all need to get tf out!!
Wow u really need a place of your own ! She sounds a tad messed up . You don’t want your child around that kind of behaviour x
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What does your husband say
You need to get your own place.
5150 your mother in law … she shouldn’t be threatening that if you ever do move out
She should not be undermining you or manipulating you. And you should not be living with her for 3 years. In that time you couldn’t save enough money to move out? It amazes me how adult children want to rely on their parents to support them while at the same time expecting to call the shots on his things go at their home
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Should have been gone away from her house. If you can’t afford a place after living there for 3 years then you have to dance to her musi
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Your in laws are the parents. Yours and your kids as long as you’re being supported by them. If you want to be in charge then be in charge and take care of yourselves. You don’t call the shots in her home.
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she should keep her nose out its your child she seem messed up try find anything away from her
A better way for you to communicate with her is her son speaking to her
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You need to be an adult and get your own place. Your allowing your son to be in the middle.
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So many questions! First- you’ve been living there for 3 years because you can’t afford to get your own place. OK… I get that but I would assume if you are having these issues now with boundaries they didn’t just start. Have you and your husband been making moving out a priority? It’s not going to get better or easier. If you haven’t been then you absolutely NEED to now!
Next- you said in-lawS- plural- which indicates that your mother-in-law has a husband/partner. Is HE aware of her threats to hurt herself? If not, maybe someone should bring him in the loop because mental illness is no joke. Is her son aware? Yes, I agree that it sounds like manipulation but seriously, a grown woman is making threats of attempting suicide, please someone step up! Regardless of where you live- she is still your husband’s mother and your son’s grandmother.
Next- I don’t understand what you mean about getting your point across without “getting physical or loud with her”. Is “getting physical” a real concern? I would be extremely concerned about the environment if violence of any kind is an issue.
I agree that you really do need to get your own place. If you have tried talking to her and you can’t resolve the issues, you don’t really have a choice. But I also understand that especially in today’s economy, that might not be realistic.
You don’t say if you and your husband have ever had your own place, if you started out with your in-laws, if you are trying to buy rather than rent, if you are saving for your dream home, if you have anything saved, if you have a mountain of debt, if you are not able to handle the monthly expenses, etc. Depending on what you and your husband had set as goals, you may need to “renegotiate” those goals to get out sooner. But aside from moving, I DO hope that someone addresses the issues your mother-in-law clearly has because even though it’s probably a manipulative play, suicide threats should always be taken seriously. She took you guys in. She IS your husband’s mother and your son’s grandmother and hopefully she will be able to maintain a relationship with them. Try to help make that a healthy relationship for your son
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Wow get the hell out of there sounds a right control freak & that’s a narcissist she will kill herself if you move out I’d be gone.
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We had 5 kids. We lived in shit holes until we didn’t have to. This allowed us to live by our own rules and to also raise our kids how we felt was best. Maybe you should consider it.
Time to grow up & get your own place
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Living with family is hard. When we had our first we were going to move in with my grandparents to save money to buy a house my grandma is a bit crazy and tries to push me and my husband out of children’s lives to the the number 1 our daughter passed away before we moved in with them but after it was hard when we had our 2nd and they babysat even that was a bit of a nightmare as she thought they could do whatever they wants with my child after many times of talking and setting boundaries and still getting shitted on by her I made my husband talk to her it worked for a bit until we were back in the same boat with them… the best suggestion and I have is maybe you and your husband and mother in law and her husband or partner need to all sit down and talk and be open about everything as a parent she should not undermine you and try to take over that is 1000 percent wrong. I don’t know how you have done it for 3 years I give you mad credit for it. But from experience with just my grandparents babysitting it has completely destoryed our relationship and there was a lot that was damaged with going through what we did with our first
This is very difficult… my husband and I lived with my parents for 3 months (not 3 yrs) to save up money to get our own apt. Everyone knows two women under the same roof does not work. I personally couldn’t live with someone else like that ( and we were teenagers). Mom/GM probably figures that you guys aren’t mature enough to have your own place, then you probably also need help in the mothering dept. I have a feeling she doesn’t mean to undermine you.
I don’t understand how things could get “loud or physical”, it’s her home… Her rules.
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Girl it sounds like my in-laws best thing I could have done is move out of their house we were paying their bills taking care of house I was cleaning top to bottom every room of that house I’m pulling my weight taking care of my kids but she would always have something to say about how I am parenting it got to a point I moved out and I finally got her to back off when I told her hey these are my kids they are perfectly fine you are not their parent she thinks I’m being too harsh sometimes because I discipline and put them in time out and they’ll cry and just them crying she’ll instantly try to instigate and fight with me the best advice I can give is move out put your foot down and just straight up tell her these are my kids not yours also been with my husband for 7 years but me and my mother-in-law have a pretty good relationship now but that took a lot of work and setting boundaries
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Move… . If it’s a will it’s a way.
May not be what you want but right now it’s what you need peace of mind tranquility and raising your own child
Send her a get well card and keep it moving
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My mother in law of 20yrs just doesn’t like me period and goes out of her way to make that very obvious as well. She talks down about my kids which are her sons and she spent over 7 yrs of my now 16y/o’s life claiming that even though she looks absolutely like her fathers twin that she didn’t belong to him. The only way I’ve been able to save the peace is put distance between us as in we live in Maryland and they live in Florida while my parents live in the upper northeast corner of Pennsylvania. They have their own hobbies now. Your mother in law sounds like a narcissist with the threats of self harm an what not if you move out. I’d be carful but very blunt that she is not the parent you are.
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um moive out asap. dont let her emotionally black mail you and whats your partner doing about this?
Somepeople are just like that. You won’t fix it by talking calmly.
After three years you should have your own place. you aren’t responsible for whatever she does after you leave but as long as you are in her home she will undermine you.
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Your husband needs to tell her
3 yrs living with mil something doesn’t sound right are u and ur husband working u need to get ur s×*t together and get ur own home or apartment
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Believe me I have a mother-in-law from hell and I feel sorry for you I’m going through it too 
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Ok well 3 years is ridiculous. Move out like an adult and take care of yours. A few months ok. I’ll even give you a year. But 3? No. I can’t even say I disagree with her. How old is your child? She probably feels like a mother not a grandmother.
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Was blessed with the best mother in law and my husband was as well, abs we BOTH KNOW IT’S A TRYE BLESSING BECAUSE THAT DON’T HAPPEN…MOVE OUT AND YOU HAVE ALL THE SAY!! SHE WEEK ADJUST!
I moved away from my parents at 18 years old and raised my kids. If you don’t like the way I’m raising them, there’s the door.
I mean you live with her soooo
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Join Gentle Parenting
And tell your MIL to stay out of it on how you parent your child.
Call a psych ward in front of her asking if they have any positions for suicidal people, see how quick she either shows you should book her in or she’ll change her tune real quick! Either that maybe get the son of this mother, your baby daddy, and get him to man up and stop simping to his mother haha
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Shit how close are you guys to moving out either your husband gets a backbone and lets his mother know what the fuck is going on he’s is my child we will teach him right from wrong when we say no that means no‘s he needs to back you up if he’s not doing that and believe me if she hurt yourself that is not on you
She sounds manipulative
Your child , you parent your child
Your way
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The only way to fix this is for you and your husband to get your own place.
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