I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. We have two kids, one I came into the relationship with. He took on the dad role & completely rock it! We had one of our own we were so excited because we both wanted a boy. We Never had an issue with his family, including his mom, but since I had my son, everything just switches up… I had his mom around the majority of my pregnancy and planned to have her here when we came home with the new addition. I just had some ground rules I expected everyone to follow, INCLUDING my family I said no kissing in the face. His body is okay (on top of his clothes). His mom completely ignores what I say and keeps kissing him, I keep reminding her, telling her I feel like you disrespect me, and it’s a slap in my face because my family not allowed to kiss him at all. She says she understands but KEEPS DOING IT!! I feel like a total b*ch to keep reminding her, as I can tell it bothers her. I tell my boyfriend he says he going to tell her something and he does it just keeps happening. Im just so frustrated and over it at this point idk what to do.
I’d be super frustrated too. No advice on how to handle it just want you to know you’re not alone and it’s completely understandable to be upset by it. I’ve told relatives to just not come if they can’t respect what I’m saying about my child.
Your baby your rules! You have attempted to tell her politely and have even reminded her. Now it’s time to firmly tell her that she will not be allowed to see her grandbaby until she can abide by YOUR rules.
Tell her she doesn’t respect your wishes. She can’t come for a while until she respects you
I get this tho
That’s how babies get sick
Some have gotten herpes from this
Show her an infant that has died from getting hepatitis C or herpes. Show her what could happen to your child in what the repercussions could be and if she did still does not stop then it’s time for her to exit your life
Can’t respect rules, can’t interact with baby.
Your boyfriend needs to tell her if it’s his mom
If she can’t respect it she doesn’t get to see him. Period. Stop taking him to see her until she listens
Don’t let her hold him simple
That’s how kids get measles mumps and rubella at young ages not to mention we are living through the covid apocalypse
Boundaries are important. Consequences are also important if those boundaries are not respected. If she kisses his face, get up and remove him from her arms. Tell her what you are doing and why. Tell her she looses the right to hold him until she can respect your wishes.
As a new gramma myself, I get the urge to kiss baby. However respecting parent wishes is a must!! Thankfully us grands are allowed back/top of head kisses, no face. But face kissing babies is not hygienic anyway so we are all good with it!! Definitely voice your concerns, and ask her to respect your choice. The other option is to stop visits because baby is small and covid is real.
Is there a reason why you are not comfortable with it? Covid related? I’m only asking because I know grandparents absolutely adore their grandchildren. Kisses and snuggles! If they aren’t close family then it would be a huge no for me. Regardless, it is your child and you set the rules that need to be followed. I wish you the best!
Pick battles wisely but if she can’t respect you then she doesn’t get to be included as much and if she wants to be even more disrespectful then she can be completely gone
Yeah, she doesn’t forget, she just doesn’t care what you say when it comes to her grandbaby. Maybe she needs to stay away for a bit until she can learn some respect.
Just two weeks ago our little community lost a baby by someone kissing him on the mouth.he was 8 days old.
My ex MIL pinched my newborn baby to make her cry. I was livid
You have to put your foot down or it will get worse. Next time she wants to come over tell her no because she doesn’t respect your boundaries about kissing. Or you can tell her she has to wear and keep a mask on from now on any time she visits. If she can’t follow those rules she can’t come. That’s that. Your child’s safety is more important than her feelings.
Long before covid babies have gotten very sick and even died from lots of other illnesses from kissing. Doctor said top of head only!
Respect the rules or don’t see the children.
Just consider this: that’s her grandson. It’s not like it’s a distant relative or a friend that you see a few times a year. If she’s around all the time anyway I feel like you would know if she has herpes or was sick. But at the end of the day it is your baby and your rules. My son has always been around my in laws and my mom and there’s no stopping their kisses. Just maybe think about it and try not to let it become some power trip. I can totally understand if it were a distant relative or something like that but it’s his grandma.
Stop visits with her if she can’t respect your rules.
I wouldn’t let her come around for a while. She isn’t forgetting she is just flat out disrespecting you. Absolutely no one is allowed to kiss my baby except me her dad and her siblings. Even her siblings aren’t allowed to kiss her on the face. Too many germs especially with covid. Baby’s die from cold sores that are harmless to adults. Stand your ground. If you don’t she will continue to disrespect you
To be honest as mentioned below she the kids grandma hardly just anyone. If grandma dosnt suffer with cold sores etc I dont see the issue. If she did then yes most definatly no kissing. Any other relatives/friends yes then def no kissing. But lets face it no granny in right mind would want to put any baby at risk. Does make me think maybe other underlying issues than just this.
If she cant respect that you dont want anyone kissing your baby then she dont need to hold him. Shes a adult and shouldnt have to be told more than once. Stand your ground and tell your man and his mom that if she does it again she wont beable to hold him or be close to him cause she thinks she can do whatever she wants.
Dont let them around your children if they can’t respect ur wishes and follow ur rules when it comes to ur children
That’s her grandchild. Who tf isn’t going to kiss their grandchild??? Seriously??? Sounds to me like you’re being crazy and hubby is trying to keep you happy by saying he will talk to her and he has absolutely no intention of saying anything anyway because why tf would she not kiss her grandchild?
Text her this link and say it’s not personal but rather that you don’t want to put her in a position where she is putting the baby at risk from something that seems so minor…
https://www.pedseast.com/blog/posts/the-dangers-of-kissing-babies
Stupid B***ch…she knows exactly what she’s doing
Simple. Don’t allow her to be around your child. I had to do that with my mother in law.
I’m sorry but I wouldn’t let anyone kiss any of my babies heads face or hands have you seen the devastating/fatal effect it can have on a baby if that person is carrying the cold sore virus absolute no no kissing babies perhaps informing her of this reason alone will make her want to avoid kissing baby x
She isn’t forgetting, I agree with above, it’s disrespectful & that’s why you feel that way. It’s super tough. I have been there & know what you’re going through. Boundaries should be respected by anyone. She is the grandmother for sure, but you are the parent. Follow your gut. It may never change. You just have to keep putting your foot down & show her you’re serious. If that means taking the baby from her arms after you have reminded her nicely of no kissing, then so be it. Good luck!
Babies can get RSV from people kissing them, it’s scary as hell when your baby is on oxygen in the hospital . I’d tell her not to come around if she can’t respect your wishes.
Address it firmly now, it only gets worse… what mama says goes. Many grandmothers are that way and my MIL didn’t respect my rules either and lost 4 months of my sons life because she was upset with me. It’s your baby. She already raised hers
Grandparents are not the parents and they need to respect the parents rules and boundaries. Or they should not be aloud around the children. Asking people not to kiss your baby on the face is for your child’s safety and if she won’t respect that what else is she going to do?
Time to not let her in his arms tell her wear a mask
If she can’t follow no kissing then she wouldn’t see the kids if it were me. There are too many germs regularly but especially now. Gross.
Idk I kiss my grandbaby every time I see her. I definitely would be sad if I was told not to kiss her but I would do what I was told.
Definitely not. Babies are very susceptible to illness, and illnesses that are nothing for us may be disastrous for them. It’s important to keep them safe. It’s also not a promising start to your relationship with her as grandma. I’ve made it very clear to the people in my daughter’s life that wether they respect my husband and I as parents or not, either way they won’t be my problem anymore. I am willing to cut people out who don’t respect us. I want to teach my children that just because someone is “family” does not mean you owe them anything, including a relationship.
A lot of grandmothers feel they are above a mother’s rules. I don’t play that. If you dont stop it now, she will just keep pushing against all your rules and wishes. I always try to be respectful, but when you disrespect me then I will stand up for me and mine.
stop letting her hold him 
until you can act right, you cant touch the baby
grab baby smoothly away… and say silently if you keep doing that you cant carry him… give the eye to see if she nods… and smile and walk away.
If she can’t listen to you don’t let her see your little one for awhile. When she starts to listen then allow her to see him. YOU are the parent and you and your bf have expressed it multiple times it’s like a child doing something over and over despite being told not to do it. Punishment is in order same difference
Simple. Tell her to get out and if she can’t respect your wishes, she’s not allowed over.
Either don’t let her hold him or she’s gotta go. That’s your sons life in the balance. My parents will only kiss his arms or his hands. Me and his dad are the only ones who kiss his cheeks
I don’t know why someone laugh reacted, you’re completely right to not want someone kissing your young baby on his face in a pandemic!
Just nicely tell her that if she keeps on doing it when she is explicitly asked not to at this point for the sake of the babies wellbeing then she can’t hold him until she stops doing it.
If she can’t respect your rules tell her she can’t be around the baby until she starts respecting your rules
Show her pictures of the horror stories that have happened to babies who were kissed on the face and got a nasty infection of some kind and tell her that’s why you ask her not to kiss him, not because you’re trying to be mean.
My sister in law worse her sisters kissed her for babies on the mouth and sick with cold
If she won’t listen don’t allow her around the kids. The no kissing rule to me is about safety. They are so little and can be exposed to so many germs. You don’t kiss a baby on the face until they are a year old and the parents have said it’s okay.
Well what boundaries did u set if they did not listen?
Sounds like she doesn’t get to hold baby until she respects it.
Have you explained why? You should have a printout of medical reasons as to why it’s not good to kiss babies on the face
I had the same issue and I had to cut his parents out of the picture for awhile. We worked things out eventually and They know now to respect my wishes with my child. That is your child and they need to respect your wishes. Kissing babies that aren’t yours is not okay it’s dangerous, especially in a pandemic.
She doesn’t respect your rules don’t let her around!
Get out. No one kisses my sons face. No one. Not untill he was over 6 months
You need to be more firm.
That’s your baby.
Your baby your rules.
Tell her next time she does it she no longer gets to hold baby or be around baby 
. She’s been warned a million times and you keep letting her walk all over you.
That would be the last visit ! No means no !
Wow. Just wow. And sad for your child. You deserve to have no help. Poor child. Poor Grama that can’t even give her grandkid a kiss. Just sad and disrespectful. Your the only one allowed to give your kid butterfly
Kisses. Poor kid. Kids need more love not less.
I honestly don’t know why people can’t understand that simple rule ! My son is 3 and the people still come to kiss and touch his face . One of these days I’m going to blow a fuse
Until there are consequences for her, it’ll keep happening. She knows you’ll keep reminding her, and that’s it. Sorry.
Hope you figure it out.
Thankful my daughters-in-law never felt this way or my daughter. Where is she kissing the baby?
Lick her fucking face. Ask if she feels confident that you dont have any germs. Lol.
Stop her from visiting it’s pretty simple
When she visits next day she can visit through the baby monitor
Tell her she’s gonna give your child herpes if she keeps kissing him on the face
Your baby ! Not hers. I’ve read articles about babies getting kissed by the wrong mouths and some babies died or got herpes. Would never let no one kiss my babies no matter what age!
Don’t have her around till she can follow your rules. Next time she does it, take ur baby and tell her to leave.
Maybe show her the reasoning behind it, she might not understand the why, there are countless sad stories all over the internet of poor babies that were kissed and became deathly unwell from it. It’s not a forever thing, it’s just to protect them while they’re so tiny! X
Here’s the advice that I wish I had last year. Both of you need to let them know your firm safety rules and the consequences for breaking them. If you need help setting firm boundaries, follow the Nedra Tawwab page. If she just won’t listen, further mitigate the risk and insist that she wears a mask and stays 6+ feet apart or doesn’t come around at all.
Shit the baby came out of you
If you do not like something… then take care of your own
Do not ask or mention no body helping you.
I did not even let anyone change my two boys diapers , bath them or feed them
That was my job
They could hold them once my boys started crawling and only if my children wanted to be held
But that is just me …
My boys were my everything and still are today.
But as a grandmother… I do not do diapers no more… I already raised mine
Now it’s their parents place
I’m just the one who gets to play and do the fun stuff now
If anyone disrespects the parents then maybe they should not visit very often
I am a firm believer in “your baby, your rules” and I truly understand your reasoning behind the no kissing rule. But honestly I think you are making this WAY bigger then what it needs to be. I would be almost certain that she wouldn’t be doing out of a place of disrespect for you, or to get at you, or anything about you. I imagine, she is doing it because she wants to love your baby, her Grandbaby, her family. I found myself with a friends new baby, giving her a kiss on the cheek, without even thinking. Continue to bring it up, Continue to remind her, but please don’t let it become a war.
The advice you’ve been given by most of these people is just ridiculous. COVID is a huge risk, so I understand why you’re concerned. However, cutting someone out of your life because they kissed your baby is wildly dramatic. I feel like a lot of these people have issues with their in laws and are simply ready and waiting for a problem to arise. My mother in law is a monster of a person, you’re lucky you have one who is actually active and interested in your child. I do believe you need to set some clear boundaries and stick to them, but I don’t believe this warrants cutting her out completely. Be careful what advice you take. I’ve spent 12 years being attacked by my mother in law and her daughter. You have to choose your battles very wisely. If you don’t, you’ll end up causing way more chaos than it’s actually worth.
There are pictures you can find online of babies who have contracted different infectious diseases from adults kissing on them. I have a grandson born August of 2020. In order to be able to even hold him, I renewed my own vaccinations of dtp and mmr plus I quarantined completely from the outside world for 3 weeks before his due date - but I still didn’t kiss him on his head.
Some cannot do all of those preparations, I understand that. But there is no one in your family or friend circle who should be risking your baby’s health & wellness. As a parent, it’s our responsibility to see that they don’t. You might not be able to follow through, but she needs to have access to the baby stopped if she cannot abide by your requests.
Start spraying her ass, like how people train dogs. I bet she will quit.
Do t let her around the baby for a while. I will absolutely be putting my foot down if my MIL does this. We live with my fiance’s parents and I will absolutely not be putting up with this crap.
I would say, this falls under control issues. The mother that is.
Have a bib made with that rule. No reason to forget what she’s continually reading
Your baby your rules. Next time she does it take the baby from her and tell her she needs to leave. That when she can follow your ground rules for your child she can see him again. She’s not having any consequences so she’s gonna continue to do it. Enforce your rules. She may have hurt feelings but she’ll take you serious next time, and there will be a next time.
I’d tell her she can’t see him if she won’t listen. Your baby, your home, your rules. Will she be happy of he gets sick? Stand your ground my dear not her place.
Stop her from coming over its simply she can’t follow rules then she is not allowed around your child see if she starts to listen she should be wearing a mask also because of covid many babies have died because of kisses now just because she has kissed others and nothing happened don’t mean nothing will happen to your child especially with covid when I had my son we had the same rule anyone who didn’t follow it my husband would take our son alway the first time he saw it this help out especially with our second now they know better which is important because of covid plus he was born premature
I yell at my own mom for it. Dont feel bad.
Ok this is going to come off as insanely bitchy but it’s something I use on my therapy dog when out and about. When a working dog is on duty, it should not be pat by strangers. So most people ask and respect my answer of no but for those who ignore or don’t bother asking, I put my hand under the spot where their hand would have landed to pet the dog so instead they pet me. Maybe you can slip your hand between them and she kisses your hand instead. It’s awkward as f**k when strangers realize they are now touching my hand but it totally works. Be prepared that your MIL might pitch a fit but you have your rules for a reason. This is simply an enforcement of those rules. Good luck.
The next time she does it tell her to leave. I wouldn’t say cut her off if it’s just one thing but take a stand. She keeps doing it because she’s getting away with it. Kicking her out is taking action, cool off for a day or two and then call her and say she’s more than welcome to come back if she respects the boundaries
I have physically taken my child away for not respecting my wishes. And ill do it again and again too. I dont give a fuck who I piss off
I would get a spray bottle and squirt her when she kisses him. (Not really…but wouldn’t it be nice?) I hate when people disrespect a parent’s wishes. Sorry you’re having to deal with this.
Ask her to wear a mask, and to give the child a chance to develop some immunities , tell her if your child gets sick, she will never hold him again !
Thats YOUR baby honey, stand your ground now before the baby gets bigger and more things arent taken seriously. With this virus going around you. Just. Never. Know. !