I don’t even know where to start… I found this page lol. I wish I had more friends to talk about this. I’ve been with my husband for 7 years now, we have 3 beautiful children. When my kids where born my MIL treated them different , I always thought it was because me and my husband aren’t married and I would always say is that the reason she’s like that to my kids and I mean my husband has two other brothers who each have 4 kids they’re both married and treat them with love , she sees them every weekend , takes them on trips, takes the kids for like a whole week. She takes the time to see them. My FIL who is no longer married to her he’s a charm he’s an amazing grandfather, he treats them all equal. Loves them and spends as much time with them. Unfortunately my FIL passed away this year. It’s 2022 and where still doing this lol. I never had the guts to say anything to my MIL. my husband tells me that I don’t need to get into it with her because there’s no point. The lady’s think she’s always right she has never done nothing wrong. She goes maybe every 6 months comes and sees them , less then an hour and leaves. She’s a Facebook person meaning as I feel like people see her she’s the greatest grandma . When she comes and sees my kids she goes quickly takes a picture of the kids and post “spending time with my grandkids” leaves and then we don’t see her another 6 or more months. I wish people knew the real her. We had asked one time of her if she can please watch them for a few hours so me and my husband can go eat and watch a movie she’ goes on and says “ she ain’t no babysitter. But she goes and takes care of my BIL’s kids takes them over night . My babies are 5 , 6 and 7 so this has been going on for years. Am I crazy to feel like this? The only time me and my husband went out to eat was when my mother came for the summer and we where able to go out. At this moment my husband don’t really talk to her. It just hurts me that she’s like this towards my babies. The last time she came my kids where so happy that she was here like there faces where so happy wanting to do everything with her and in my head I’m thinking I hope she sees how much my kids love her but then she goes away. Also my husband doesn’t have a great relationship with her. Not really wanting to go in detail with that but her other two boys where her favorite and he was always left out out everything. I’m wondering if this the reason she’s like this towards my kids. My MIL also blocked me from fb lol I don’t even know what I did to her lol. I told my husband that I don’t like her can’t say hate her but I just don’t want her in my kids lives anymore, my husband tells me that I can’t be saying that if she hasn’t done anything, but I tell him she has by the way she treats my kids different and I won’t tolerate that. am I wrong for that? I don’t like that lady, I seriously don’t like her. The one time she came she was talking sh*t about my two SIL’s which Makes me wonder if she talks about me too. I wanted to add that she also comes to the city and visits her family and never stops by to see the kids, I wouldn’t even know she was here but I find out she’s in town when’s she posts on fb stating she came to visit the family . In my head I’m like what about my kids lol… Sorry for my long post. I do have amazing parents they live four states away , I call my mom everyday and she FaceTimes my kids , we also try to go every year and go for like a month to her which is nice. I just want to cut her off completely. My kids don’t deserve a half as grandparent . If you read all this thank you for reading any advise would be helpful:) and Happy Easter . Btw she’s going to have her grandkids on Easter and we’ll where doing our own thing at home . She seriously don’t deserve my kids love .
I went through the same thing with my in laws
My son would actually ask at 4 years old why they never came to see him
Cut her off! It isn’t even about how terrible she is to you but your kids don’t need or deserve that toxicity 
She wouldn’t be coming back unless I told her exactly what I think. And bf needs to find his spine or he could go too.
Put your foot down.
You need to start with clarifying your situation by not calling your significant other your husband because it makes it sound very confusing. If you two aren’t married and the brothers are… Perhaps she does have a problem with that. But you’re never going to change her. I have a mother who is the same way. I feel bad for my two youngest kids as she was never like that with the three older ones from my first marriage but it is what it is and I have just learned to distance myself. Start cutting off contact with her. If she asks, she has open the door for you to lay it on her. Otherwise just leave it be because she’s not really going to care and use anything you say as a reason to back up why she doesn’t come around. Go get married. See how she is after that
Cut her out, if you sense the difference it’s just a matter of time until your babies do. They don’t deserve to feel second best. It sounds like you have a bunch of love to give them anyways. Keep your head up mama! 
You need to tell her how you feel and if she can’t get over her favoritism then she only has her other son’s grandkids do not come around she’s not welcomed. Then tell your so the same thing and he needs to grow a pair of he wasn’t treated right as son or kid why does he want his children going through that. I hope you had a great easter 
I gave up ever even trying. Trust me when I say this, your kids see it. They feel it. As they get older they will also choose to not have her in their lives and that’s consequences of her actions. My mil only took my kids when it made her look good. We lived 10 mins from each other and she still managed to only see them once or twice a year. Let karma take over lil mama
She’s missing out on her grandkids. My in laws have always treated my kids differently. They are now adults and are fully aware how they prefer the other grandkids but it doesn’t bother them anymore x
Don’t beg anyone, including family to be in your kids lives. It’s her loss. Your kids aren’t missing out on anything but not seeing her or being with her, especially if she’s as you described. Why would you want them around her? You sound jealous or controlling of the situation. Maybe reflect on why it matters to you so much. Have your kids mentioned that they are treated differently? Do they cry to be with her or see her? Are you constantly talking about her lack in front of them? Do you point out to them that they’ve been excluded?
Then leave her home. She can just point her attention elsewheres like “what Mom-in-law?”
It’s sucks I know. But your husband is in a rough spot with his mom… she’s his mom so he doesn’t want to cut her out and give her something else to use against him… trust me when I tell you. In a couple years your kids will tell you they want nothing to do with her… when that happens. Stand behind them… at that point, tell your husband you and the kids are done with her, if he wants a relationship with her it’s fine. I have done this with MIL. I could shock you with the things that’s she has done to my kids… who are her only grandchild. Good luck.
Of course she talks shit on you! If she does it with everyone else you aren’t special. Most people aren’t real on social media. That’s something that I seriously doubt you do. She does treat the kids like her least favorites because that’s how she treated your boyfriend. Here’s the thing: is it worth throwing your relationship away by confronting her? Because as you said she doesn’t think she can do anything wrong. Obviously, your kids love her. Why do that to them? They’ll eventually see what she is doing.
You’re not alone at all.
If she doesn’t want to be in their lives then don’t let her.
Like you said, your kids deserve more than a half ass grandparent!
I didn’t even have to read all of it. Cut her out. If this goes as far back as favoring her two other sons over your husband then there’s nothing you’ll be able to do or say to get her to treat your children better because your husband was less than her favorite, everything that comes from him is also going to be less than her favorite (if that makes sense) and I really don’t think it has anything to do with the actual kids it’s more your husband. So I would just cut her out completely and be done with it. Kids are better off completely not knowing somebody than having somebody coming in and out of their lives at random
Just go about your lives and do not drop anything or be busy when she shows up in 6 months.
Honestly, she will never change. My ex husbands mother actually his whole family lives less than an hour from my daughter and never once ask to see her. They see her maybe at christmas if my ex brings her to see them. She will miss out on the amazing kids you have, but its her loss and as your kids get older they will see it. You can’t fix something that doesn’t want to be fixed. Your ex doesn’t have a good relationship with her, don’t waste your energy on it. Just focus on your family and the people who matter. I know its hard but I learned really quick that sometimes things just won’t change.
Yeah I agree with you. Cut her out if your lives. Don’t respond to her and if she comes just tell her straight up that she doesn’t treat your kids the same she can’t be coming around every few months for an hour anymore. Or just keep saying nope you are busy. You can’t control what she tells people and what people think of her. Just ignore her, don’t be friends with her on Facebook and block her. Tell your husband he doesn’t even talk to her and she doesn’t care about the kids so no more.
Honestly if they dont put the time & w0rk in leave it. Your children dont need her as much as you’d think, hope etc. Some dont get it. But you should never have to force relationships. They are like farts. Force a fart you get shit on… When she comes play nice, if she doesnt just leave it. Embrace your parents & her love for the kids.
Married or not makes no difference. Youve been together 7 years and these children are her grandchildren. If she can’t treat them all the same then she wouldn’t be in their lives .
I had a mother-in-law like that and I kept her out of my life for 20 years until she passed. Told my husband he could go visit her anytime he wanted to but I wasn’t going to have my daughters put up with a person who was that toxic. It’s called you have to put your foot down and the kids are going to understand to not deal with people like that before they grow up. I have no regrets on putting my foot down and not dealing with MIL who was bringing NOTHING GOOD to my life or my children’s life. She was the same way about talking about everybody else behind their back. My sister-in-law was the one to let me know that’s exactly what she did when we barely left her house the few times I met her at the beginning.
The fact is he needs to learn to stand up to her even though he’s not close to her. Sad he is too scared to put her in her place where it didn’t bother me a bit because somebody had to finally stand up and let the woman know that she would not be tolerated .They are the worst fake people of the world. My father-in-law who is still alive knew why they never showed to our house for 19 years and he never held it against me. He is a wonderful man and a grandfather and a father but it was his job to tolerate her not mine. She’s been gone a year now and I get along with him just fine.
Tell her to get over herself because guess what she will need them when they are older.And the grandkids she favors will not help her.
Kids ain’t silly they will see who was there for them who never was and who always will be once they have grown up… pretty sad that nannas play favourites… I could never do that to my kids I love them all the same… even if I hated their partner those grand babies still have our blood running through their vains from the child we made… hold your head up mumma it’s hard when you love someone so you tolerate their family for your partners sake knowing damn well you are hated and your kids are treated differently…
My mom was that way. I’m so sorry.
Just got clarification - you and her son ARE or are NOT married?
Write off MIL. Your husband has essentially cut ties for a reason. Easier to just ban her and cut her out of your life than try to change her nasty ways.
Fill your life with people who love your kids. They don’t have to be related to you. I had tons of “”Aunts,” “Uncles” and just family friends who made my childhood special and made me feel loved.
If you say something to her she will probably twist it and play victim, and being you’re husband isnt backing you up on it,it will become a giant mess… you cant force that woman to be something shes not!!! Best to move foward, ignore her,dont give her any relevance in you’re childrens life,be unavailable to her,and im sorry but you need a deep talk with you’re husband yall are a unit you are a family, he needs to step up and back up you&the kids
Disfavored child status is a very serious form of abuse with long lasting ramifications, it sounds like its an extension of how she raised her son, dont let her have any access unless you want your children in therapy as adults
Wrote my MIL off long before she left this world and I have not one ounce of regret over it. You’re either in my kids lives or you aren’t. My children never knew her and are all grown now and better for not having dealt with her Toxic presence.
That was too much to read, but really who cares… it’s her loss, end of story
I’d. Care What. Your. Husband. Says. Call. Her. Out.!!! On. Her. Behavior who. Dare. She. Treat. Them. That. Way. ,Their. Kids. They. Don’t. Understand. !!! And. If. He. Doesn’t. Back. You. Up. ! He’s. a. Mammas. Boy
Best advice I can give… don’t make yourself crazy trying to figure out what it is that’s lacking in your family. The lack is within her, not you or your babies. Just live your lives and be happy with what you have. Maybe her not being present is a true blessing. Be honest with your kids, but allow them to decide how to go forward with her. If your husband doesn’t feel the need to address it with her, maybe that’s his way of saying she doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of your lives. You could tell her plainly that unless she’s going to be a true presence in your children’s lives, you’d prefer not to force them into a relationship that is completely one-sided and hurtful to them. I wish you the best, I know how much it hurts when members of your family don’t love your baby(s) the way you do. Keep being a good momma…it’s her loss and I truly mean that
Nope. That’s fucked up & toxic. Cut her out of y’all’s life
If he and her don’t have a good relationship maybe there is something more to it? That could be the reason the grandkids aren’t treated the same. Also, especially as parents age, some kids grow distant and aren’t there for them while other kids step up and care for them. This would make grandma/grandpa closer to the grandkids who are there. If she only goes every 6 months or so to see them, how often do the grandkids go see grandma?
I’m. Happy to. Say. I’ve never. met. My. MIL. If. What. I’m. Hearing. Is. the. Norm
Cancel her 6 month visit
My Mom is a favorite kind of person…was all my life and now my kids and their kids…you have to be male to count! (I’m female) anyway believe me when I tell you the kids WILL notice and will come to understand on their own…don’t push her on them let them be and it will work out…they will be fine knowing don’t expect anything from her!!!
Sounds like you are better off without her.
Time to move closer to your mom and give your kids a better grandma. Work for that goal!!
Keep her from coming protect ur kids…
Does she live closer to the other kids then you? Are the other kids older then yours? Do you know for sure that the parents aren’t paying for the trips that grandma is taking them on? Why does it matter to you how other people see her? She might not be the greatest grandparent to your kids but she still is a grandparent that does a lot with the other kids. And honestly she doesn’t need to include any or all grandkids in everything. And she is right, she’s not a babysitter. She’s likely volunteering to take the kids when she does. Not being asked/told to watch them. But there could also be the issue of, maybe she’s worried about the care of the other kids and not yours so she pays more attention to them? Just worry about your babies and who actually comes around for them. And not what grandma is doing with every other kid.
If she’s got you blocked how do you know what she’s posting? Why are you that obsessed with what she’s doing that you are stalking her social media account?
You can’t change others. But you can call her on her behavior ask her not to post your kids… cause she’s not in their lives. Period!
Just keep living your best life with your children. Don’t keep trying to figure her out. She is what she is. I’m glad they have their grandpa.Just emotionally write her off honey
Enjoy your babies.Sending you gentle hugs❤
I would be more bothered that she’s posting pics of your kids on social media without your permission but can block you, you don’t know who’s seeing them pics and what they could be doing with them,
We would conveniently be gone on those 6 month visits.
Ask her what the problem is!
Sad just pray for her soul she will have to answer to god❤️it’s not fair but u can’t change a person!!! Keep just doing for them god sees everything:) it’s heartbreaking for kids but u can’t change certain people!! U learn to just write them off
id tell her off n b done with her
yes God sees everything , pray for her soul
My mil is the exact same to my kids. My son will be 3 in July and has maybe seen her 5 times. My oldest is 8 and has maybe got 2 gifts from her her whole life. My husband also has 5 other siblings they all have kids and 1 also has step kids and she baby sits all of them and buys them all nice things while my kids wonder why they get told they can’t stay when all the other kids are there. But I try not to let it bother me anymore. My kids will grow up one day and they will understand… don’t force a relationship when it isn’t wanted in the first place…
That’s right and she doesn’t deserve to be their grandmother ! Karma will catch up to one of these days and maybe she will learn her lesson.
This is not right. Your children and husband should not be in her life. You love them all the same. Children and grandchildren.
My mother did this so I told her one day. Don’t come over you will never know your grandchildren. And it’s because you treat them different from the other kid’s. Don’t want my children to feel unwanted or lost of love. Till this day. We have nothing to do with her. My children are grown and have children of their own. I love everyone of them the same.
First just accept that this is the way she is and stop fussing over your feelings. As the kids get older they will see for themselves and it will be her loss. You and Hubby just love each other and the kids. Do your own thing. Hopefully you can find a neighbor or friend where you can switch sitting for each others children and get an evening out . Do not cater to her as it is your Families life. Love & Hugs.
Well she showed you who she is and what relationship she’s willing to have with your family unit. Believe her. If you guys choose she can be the holiday only grandma. The kids won’t really miss someone whose never really there anyways.
I’d cut her off COMPLETELY and move closer to your family so kids can be with a better grandma.
I understand we’re you coming from my mother in law is the same way. My husband had a son before we were together and he is the favorite, my son I had before we got together got left out of everything. And now we have 2 children together and one on the way. And our children together are left out but his son before is still the favorite and gets to do everything with them
So I’m kinda in the same boat. It’s my husband and his sister. She has 5 kids, we have 4. His sister lives almost an hour and a half away, my MIL lives 5 minutes from us and spends more time with the neices and nephews more. We haven’t had a date night in almost 8 years because she refuses to watch ours unless she has the other kids. My girls have been asking lately why she doesn’t love them as much as aunties kids. I don’t have any advice for you but just know that you are not alone in this
Proud Glamm of three and one more on the way. I literally couldn’t imagine favoring one over the other. She doesn’t deserve any one of you. Hugs.
No matter what you say to her it will always be something to be blamed on you. Enjoy your precious kids and try and ignore the BS. It has nothing to do with you or your kids.
Yep - close that door and she ask to see them tell you going be busy or on vacation- and if she ask when she can come over after you get done tell her in a year or two apparently you only want pictures for your - " so call fb" - then walk away - FYI if she talks with your husband make sure he understands that he should back you up no matter what will happen
Comment on her picture “wish we could spend more time with you. One hour every six months is not enough. We miss you” lol
I don’t know why a grandmother would act like this. I’m a old lady I love all of my grand child and sept. It only hurts the kids. I Would Tell your baby’s ask her maybe she could tell them the truth. Or my be it’s you.
We can pick our partners, but not our in-laws. It’s up to your husband to deal with his mother, and if he doesn’t, then leave it alone. If you don’t see her for 6 months, you may be better off for it. My grandmother told me I was a bastard when I was 6 years old, because my mom and dad weren’t married in the church! I never really had a relationship with my dad’s mom, but we all survived without her, as you can as well. Some older people don’t like the fact their child is “living in sin”, if they are strong into church people, and take it out on the kids which is horrid, like my Grandmother never accepting the 4 of us siblings.
I would tell her you notice the difference and if she can’t change that, than you will make it easy and not allow her to see them at all. The kids will notice if they haven’t already—— that cousins do much more with her
That’s a shame that she makes such a difference between her grandkids. They’ve noticed already, I’m sure. As they get older, they will start to cut her off by themselves. Kids don’t like being made to feel like they don’t matter. They will shut this grandmother off by themselves. I’m sorry they’ll be hurt. But I guess life is like that sometimes. I’m sorry your husband is treated differently too. That’s not right either. I think I would stop being so available when she finally decides to Grace you with her presence. If you plan on being home anyway, fine. But if you have plans, tell her so and go on with what you were going to do. Maybe if you aren’t so available and don’t cater to her, she’ll appreciate her visits more.
My mother in law is somewhat like this. Her daughter has 2 kids close in age to mine, 4 and 5. She sees them all the time. She sees ours maybe once a month. When she comes over she talks more to me than them. We saw her in the store(with my sis in law and kids)and she talked more to me. She has watched our kids a couple times but she just lets them make a mess, won’t get them to clean it up and falls asleep or is on her phone. So I’d never even let her take them over night, neither would my husband. She constantly buys for my sis in laws kids and tells me about it but then don’t get my kids anything. She can buy for them all she wants but don’t tell me about it and say well I couldn’t get your kids anything right now. My husband has no relationship with her because she wasn’t there for him growing up, his grandparents adopted him. I encouraged him to let her come around because she wanted to know the kids. My dads mother was the same with us growing up. She’d go overboard with her daughters son but treated us like we were nothing to her.
Is you don’t like her and don’t want her around then she’s actually doing you a favor right? I mean do you want to impose your kids on someone you don’t like and who doesn’t care much for them? Quit dwelling, she has you blocked, the message is actually clear….your kids will know the dynamic, move on and stop letting it affect you this way. In laws suck, mine def do. The less I see them the better.
She doesn’t deserve ur children’s love… they are at an age now where they will be noticing this … and it will seriously hurt them… either speak to her and tell her straight… or stop her giving the two hrs a year she is throwing scraps from her table at ur kids… I would feel exactly the same as you
Well, if she’s not had a good relationship with your husband, that is probably why she doesn’t treat your kids the same as your BIL kids. I think you’re all better off not having her in your lives. I understand that may hurt, but she sounds toxic.
You can’t force someone to love you or your children. Don’t let her be a priority in your life.
I’d be telling him I am done with her. I get some have favourites but it should never be shown to children. Your kids deserve better than her and how she acts towards you. They will soon realise what she’s doing and they will not want her around. Tell your husband that she’s no longer welcome and that you want no contact with her.
She doesn’t deserve them let her go to hell she has a problem with you that’s why she does that, I know somebody in this same situation ,cut her loose
Don’t bother with her and her trivial crap! She misses out
Surround your kids with people who love them
Sounds like my mother. She has no idea what she missed.
Quit calling him your husband if your not legally married. Comman law partner…
I feel the same exact way, I just don’t entertain it anymore. My kids know their worth and they are completely fine with or without her in the picture. Yes , it did bother me to some extent until I realized nothing will ever change. Keep being the best mama best advice I can give is act accordingly
I would cut contact too the kids will grow up always wondering why and that’s going to lead to more problems in the future
Marriage has nothing to do with her treating kids this way.Your husband should step up and talk to her,she is hurting your kids. Stay away from her,explain to the kids Grandma doesnt like me,you, and so we dont see her,explainit is not their fault ,cant change it,dont let your children go with family other grandkids when they make such a difference,as they get older they will deal with it.I grew up with family who bought my siblings expensive gifts nothing for me,I hated to go visit or xmas,No one ever explained to me that it was not my fault,I was a girl. I would cut her out and let her make the first move,
Cut her off. It is tottaly ok to cut off toxic people from your life. My soon to be in laws are the same. They treat my kids and I like we are nothing. No visits, no invites, nothing. So I have nothing to do with them. Its simple. My hunny, our kids and I do our own things, and we are happy doing our own things. Some people are just raised awful and think its ok to treat others awful. But you, you can teach your children better and teach them its ok to not be around toxic people.
Your chicken shit husband should grow a pair and stand up for his family
familial interactions are a hornet’s nest.
Cut her out of your guys lives completely. Don’t allow no more access whatsoever. If she shows up tell her to get off your guys property because she is not welcomed there. I hope your husband will be on board with it too honestly. It’ll be better for you him and the children if she’s just out of everyone’s lives at this point if she can’t treat them all the same. Just because they’re her grandchildren doesn’t mean she gets to be in their lives.
Sadly your mother-in-law is the person who is really missing out on the love that her grandchildren could give her. Whatever the reason for her treating your children differently it is her problem. Your children will see how differently they are treated and treat her with the same respect. Sad but you may have to learn to deal with it. Someday she may regret how she has treated them but don’t hold your breathe.
I feel this post in my soul. I did have the guts to say something about the discrepancy in treatment between my kids and the other grandkids but it didn’t change much and just got my husband yelled at because I made his step mom cry (I think my kids get the shaft because they aren’t her true grandkids) 
at this point when they are offended later down the line when my kids don’t know who they are they can blame themselves 
at least my family doesn’t treat them like after thoughts.
If it were me I would cut her out completely. When she says she is coming I would find other stuff to do. If she comes unannounced I would take the kids and leave like we already had plans. The kids deserve better.
I’m sorry your family is going through this. But I just wanted to say, don’t sweat her. Your kids know who loves them. You can’t force your MIL to “love” your kids. And that’s totally fine. They don’t need her. Especially if they end up getting hurt, one way or another, by her. You can’t miss something you never had. And they don’t seem to have a real bond or relationship with Grandmom. Just accept it for what it is, and keep it moving. Unfortunately sometimes it happens this way. And from what you said, perhaps it is because your husband was never a favorite son. At the end of the day, MIL is who’s missing out on amazing grandkids. Totally HER LOSS
Best of luck Babe
I’m sorry your going through that. Go with your gut feeling. If there talking rude things behind someone’s back to you then there going back to that same person and talking rude things about you. Everytime she trys to come over Say your busy and take your kids somewhere and have a picnic or something indoors. Don’t accept this toxic dysfunctional stuff. Keep away from it. If you do say something keep it Very classy but I’d advise she’d make it worse for you. Your husband sounds not bothered by it. It’s his place to stand up for his wife to his mother. If he sees things he don’t like then have him address them tactfully. Don’t mention names at all is key. The MIL sounds narcissistic
I don’t want to be mean, but first, they aren’t your in-laws. It is a real shame she treats her grandchildren, you and son this way. You are still FAMILY and should be treated as such. Your children will notice soon enough if not by now. She will regret her behavior. Let it go, you and your husband shower you precious children and YOUR FAMILY with all the love and care you can give, they will not miss her.
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Are you married? You said you weren’t but then said husband. People like her will never change. When your kids start asking tell them they didn’t do anything wrong. My own dad did meet his four gkids but only because I brought them over & only cause my half sister wanted them there. He cheated on my mom w the women he’s w now & couldn’t wait to be a grandma when she had my 4. But I quit going & my kids are grown now & don’t care to ever see him. He has 6 great grandkids he’s never seen. I love him buy I don’t need to see him. He knows where I live He knows where his son my brother lives & his child & he doesn’t care. So as much as it hurts just go on w your life & forget her. I love all of my gkids equally. When it’s to late she will realize
Sadly it’s a reflection of how she feels for her son. I don’t see it improving. It’s not your fault or the kids. So sorry
I would not bother with her at all. Not like ignoring a text or call but…personally I would never reach out to her. If she wants u, ur husband, and ur kids in her life… let her try
Cut her off completely next time she says she coming to visit tell her you have plans and it’s not convenient, remove her from your life now and move on
No matter what you do it isn’t going to change. The kids will know who was there and who wasn’t eventually. You’ve got 2 choices, you can cut her off now or just sit back and let her do her own thing and one of the kids will call her out on her crap eventually.
The kids will eventually understand and will put her in her place!
My in law family is this way. Only it’s my husband’s dad. We blocked the whole family now that my mil passed. They treated him like he didn’t exist so he disappeared 
It’s her loss. Your husband can communicate w her and when/if she’s at your house you can be civil - that’s it. U can’t make her do anything with your kids
I definitely feel this whole heartedly as my mother in law barely has anything to do with my kids as well as Jonathan’s dad has barely anything to do with my kids either so I know how you feel FYI I will never refer to him as my FIL he will always be just Jonathan’s dad BTW I have four kids 8,6,4,1 about to be 2 May 18th
Maybe your husband is not really the child of the parents he thinks he is… look into DNA testing and see if he is his mom and dads child or if she did the run around. There has to be a reason