Respect your elders …ring a bell
This has to be a joke…
Your wrong shes a quest
Easy… don’t invite her.
Its your house not hers
Google ‘hospitality’
Thats how it shouldd be
Shes there to visit, not to be your maid.
Honored Guest Plain and Simple .
She’s a guest right? Then let her be
Let her put her feet up …and enjoy your family
Have your husband speak to her about this.
You need a reality check on manners.
What?! Would you expect your friends too? Or your mom?.. sounds like you have beef with the MIL.
Treat her like you would your mother !
I’m confused… She’s a guest
Tell her to get off her ass and help pick up her mess u get she’s guest but she’s also family ur not her maid
Seriously?? SO what?
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I don’t feel she should have to do anything. She is a guest. Now MY mother taught me to offer help but to ALWAYS help clean up.
I was raised when you visit someones home, especially family or close friends, you get in and help. Sitting and watching someone slave away is rude and disrespectful. I was raised that I wasnt a ‘guest’ with these people. I get up and get my own drink, and to me I love it when people in my home feel that comfortable.
You cook, I help clean up!
Someone this rude would never be invited back to my place. Yes she may be playing with her grandchild (which is awesome) but sitting back and expected to be waited on the entire time. Nope. Not ok. And not how I was raised and does not show respect. Respect goes both ways.
My advice, is get hubby to talk to her. Let her know that you guys would love her to feel like shes not a guest, that shes welcome to get up and help herself to the kitchen. Start with that and see what her take is.
I was always raised to help out the elders who we are guest of. As an adult I still help when going to elders homes. As far as any other adult guest in my home, I am basically their servant. I get them their drink, appetizer or snack…I never wash dishes as to avoid any guest wanting to help. I will rinse them and organize them in the sink then go right out to be with the guest. If you can’t be a good host then make that known 
did you say she plays with her grandchildren while you clean up after her?
Isnt that a huge help in itself?
Guests should be expected to do dishes or even put the plate in the kitchen. Especially an older parent.
Who raised you a pack of wolves? Get over yourself and grow up.
TBH I wait on my parents even in their own house. They aren’t healthy, they break easily and I want to show appreciation for everything they use to be able to do for me. They play with the grandkids and I do the rest. I’d do the same for my in-laws too but his family is healthier. But I will always go out of my way for loved ones.
When we have parents no matter if its your or your husbands parents, hold them close, spoil them, allow them to spoil their grand children, never expect anything from them, they have done their bit, they’ve raised you they’ve raised your husband, it’s their time to rest relax and enjoy just being around their families. Parents are godsend in so many ways, one never knows how much longer they will stay. Remember our children learn from us in how we interact, treat, respect and cherish our elders, one day we too will all be older and a mother in law to someone else. Parents are a godsend. And when you marry into a family whether you’re a woman or a man you accept the other family as your own and not as outsiders, great relationships are built on treating people with the utmost respect love and care.
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I agree with you Carleen Massar. I am a MIL, and if I’m invited to one of my DIL, I sit too. I do have a health issue involving the spine but I figure if she wants my help she will let me know. If I want help when they come to my home, I let them know. An$ my DIL’s n their hubby’s always do the clean up for me. And they always tell me it was a good meal too.
If you are inviting them to dinner then it’s your job to cook and clean. The only I wouldn’t be okay with is her not clearing her plate. And I’d simply ask her to when she gets up from the table. I have my father over weekly and I don’t let him do anything. We also all sit at the table until everyone is done. But I usually grab all the plates and my dad and hubby go into the living room.
It all depends on the situation, yes she should be waited on ,however an offer to help let’s u know she cares and is aware …but personally even with an offer I’d insist no
You sound like a spoiled rotten snot.Holy hell you said you invited her over.She then is a guest in your home. She should not have to cook and do dishes…it is like going into a restaurant. You don’t go in the kitchen and cook then go do your own dishes. Your husband should tell you to get the hell over yourself
What if your husband brought a business associate over for dinner? Would you expect him to clean up? I’m just saying. She is a guest in your home. My mom comes over for dinner and I clean up. When we go to her house for dinner, I still clean up. My mom is 75, she has taken care of us all her life. Now, if your mother in law is living with you, or shows up every day unannounced, maybe she should help. But, you did say she plays with the kids and that’s pretty priceless.
Be blessed that you still have a MIL alive . Both my parents and my husband’s parents are all deceased . My mom only met 2 of my 4 children.
They are a blessing and should be cherished. Be thankful she’s entertaining your youngins while you clean up. When alive, we did everything possible to make them welcome and comfortable while they visited. My in laws were fortunate to actually meet and love all 4 of my babies. There were times however that they’d grab a meal ( fried chicken and fixings , pizza, etc with added paper plates lol) so none of us had to make a fuss over dinner and could all spend more time together. They’d refuse to let us pay for said dinners also. They lived out of state so visits were atleast a week and I loved that time. Mainly I would cook . I’d never expect my in laws to help or clean up. The most important thing is the time spent with those you love. In a blink of an eye they could be gone. Cherish cherish cherish it!!!
Well to me if anyone is a guest in my home it is my job to do exactly that and serve them, make then comfortable. They are my guest. Especially my family (including in laws…like if my boyfriends mom or brothers & their wife came over)
I’m the host, they are the guest in my home. I would never expect them to help with cleaning up etc.
Your MIL should be doing exactly what’s she’s doing and you should be happy to have her playing with your children and taking part in your life. I would have loved for my Exhusbands family to want to come visit us and our kids but they only came 2x in 13 years!!! It was hurtful that his mom didn’t like me and they found excuses to not come visit. Our kids miss out on family that way and it is sad.
Make her feel welcome and humble yourself, your children are building relationships, memories and learning from this.
My mil did the same thing to me. Made me clean the her house waited hand n foot on her. She would sit at her computer from 6am til 2pm then watch TV from 2pm til it was time for bed. After 4 yrs of it. I had the guts to tell her get off her fat ass and clean her damn house. Even tho I’ve been with her son for 20 yrs.
Guests in your home shouldn’t be expected to help clean up or set up
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You are a fool.be thankful you still have grandparents of your children who come to visit
What an entitled brat. She is a guest in your house. It is her option to help or not. Get over yourself.
Given she’s a guest, you shouldn’t expect her to help. Expectation being key.
She raised your husband, put in 18 years of catering to him, it’s entirely possible she’s intentionally enjoying the payback of her investment.
Some may cite a good guest, part of the family, should offer to help. I’d agree. Yet, as a mom, I’m looking forward to the day my kid waits on me hand and foot. God knows I’ve earned it!!
This is very simple. Stop feeding and catering to her fat ass!
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If I invited her, I wouldn’t expect her to help. She’s a guest.
Its just as important to be a good guest as it is to be a good host.
Wow girl your tripping. If I was that mil I would have said as you should then you’d be really pissed. You said it as if she was just a big ass slob pos. All your doing is cooking dinner for her and cleaning up her plate. Wtf. Unwife her now!!!
Omfg! What a douche u are! Guess you expect your guests to clean up after themselves… wake up out of ur privileged ass dream!!!
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I would not expect my MIL to help, if she offered cool, I usually say no thanks because I’m the host.
When I’m at her house for family gatherings I get irritated none of the other kids/in-laws help her unless asked. I think at her age cooking the bulk of the meal is enough. Her kids and their SO’s should bring a dish and clean up. But that’s a respect for my elders thing.
Shit… Keep my kids busy and I’m happy!!!
Usually after I host I make her coffee and tell her relax. 
Now my siblings… That would be a different story. Get you ass up and help lol unless you are amusing my kids. That gives you a automatic pass from any work.
I guess it’s just how I was raised
My mil does offer though
If she was living there id say its bullshit not helping around the house… She’s a guest bro, shes not supposed to do all of that… If its that much just use paper dishes then and throw it away tf
I dont even need to read the rest. Dont do it…
Wow, really! Ok so you have MIL issues that you need to get passed. Look you could have it worse! My ex MIL I had to clean her house, my house, and my ex sister in laws house and take care or my ex sister in laws kids on top of my own. I would have loved to wait on my ex MIL then the shit I had been put through with that family. I could handle that. If my new MIL came into my house today I would definitely be a great hostess and wait on her for she is a guest. Come on if woman and put your feet up and stay a while, okay some games with your grandbaby and I will make dinner. Shit if that’s all it takes and nothing else, I ain’t bitching. She’s a guest, she’s your mother in law and for cris sakes she’s also you damn elder, get over it for crying out loud. Smh.
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Take her plate and throw that shit in the sink loud. Tell her give you a hand or don’t complain.
Nope. My mother in law came in when I surgery and was on bedrest and rearrange my whole house because it was more functional. Bitch, I lived here for 10 years. We functioned fine.
Tell her to get her ass up period
Lol - she plays with your daughter so you get 5 mins to clean without q child attached to you … I call that a fucking win 
She is a guest. You should expect and do the same at her house if its that big of a deal and you want to make a point but if she is a really good mother in law and grandma i wouldn’t say a single fucking word. My kids grandparents on their dads side are completely out of the picture. Never met my kids even once. You should be grateful for who you have that are decent for your kids. Some don’t even have that.
Umm not on her life:joy:
She’s your guys guest tf… let her enjoy her grand kids weirdo.
If shes a bitch just poison her 
She shouldn’t have to
Discontinue the invitations
Wow sorry
I have the complete opposite
Sounds like you lazy
You have a voice. Dont be timid or honestly you deserve it.
Hell send me her page, I’ll tell her to quit being a lazy cunt
Honor thy father and thy mother
Stop having her over
It’s your mil why would you expect her to clean up? We clean up at our in laws because they’re empty nesters and I’m not gonna let my kids come fuck their shit up and leave it. If we cook together over there, I at least rinse the stuff off and tidy up.
Holy smokes. I’m so surprised by some of the responses.
Momming is hard.
Running a household is hard.
Keeping all your shit together is hard.
I absolutely think leaning on my in laws is not unreasonable and it’s totally ok to have that mindset!
I will be appreciative, and may even shed a tear because I’m getting help.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s no list to do, but there is knowledge of what needs to happen to have a good meal, day, etc.
And for that, plan accordingly. They cannot come over at 4 or 5.
I would lean more towards an afternoon- 1pm.
That leaves LOTS of play time and relationship building and also help and bonding with you.
I actually think that really is a BIG benefit. The conversation that will happen with the help, the appreciation on both sides of what it takes to build a strong family. It’s not all on your shoulders.
Without support, I would actually limit their time with my family not because I’m mad, angry, or resentful but because I’m tired, and hosting is one more thing.
If I know the choice will be to host and have more added to my plate or forego and ME get to spend more time with my kids, I would limit the hosting exposure.
That’s when you don’t call her ass and don’t clean up her shit. Once in a while or not it’s disrespectful. Your husband needs to tell her you’re not there to entertain her. She’s family and family help one another. Not wait on each other like a damn maid. Her ass wouldn’t eat in my house period. Sounds to me like she doesn’t like nor respect you like she portrays to
Paybacks are a __tch
I don’t expect my guests to do that shit. You sound like you just want an excuse you hate on your MIL 
Ask her to help idk 
Tell her to get off her ass and help.
Cant answer this.my mil was a bitch from hell…toldme never to call her mom so i never called her anything…just looked in her direction when asking her a question…she always expected us to wait on her hand and foot…her house or ours…thank God shes dead
Ummmmm… I can’t even 
I’m guessing MIL already isnt well liked and this is another stretch to justify why…
Your a asshole I would never want my MIL to help when over . grow up respect your elders .
Lol she’s a fucking guest. Treat her like a guest. If she does not live there it is not her job to help w these things. Imo
I was raised to help do dishes etc at others houses but I would never expect that shit from anyone I invited to my home…take care of ur MIL and treat her well…u should be catering to her when she’s at YOUR house …thats my opinion at least
My mother in law was the same way, when I went to her house, I didn’t do shit
I’m sensing that it’s more than just what your saying. I feel like for some reason You arent to fond of her thats why it bothers you. Noone wants to do shit for anyone they dont really care for. Am I right?
guests don’t help.
Just tell her that you do love her and that she is pare of the family and can help with that stuff
Catherine Martinez-Meehan
Don’t be so entitled lol
Wow! What happened 2 respect?! Shes ur MIL 4 Pete sach. What do u expect? Her 2 come cook n clean 4 u? Stop being so LAZY! I can’t believe ur husband allows 2 b such aBitch w/his Mom! Ur probably 1 of those wives who dont work, dont clean, dont cook. just bitch! Sounds like u dobt even appreciate her playing w/her granddaughter. Is she not doing that right either?! Get over it!
she plays with your daughter It is called time with her grand daughter She isnt your maid get over your self you bitch
Easy ,don’t ask her over .
Let your MIL be a guest, if she lives with you, that’s a whole other situation! When my mother-in-law was alive, we treated her to a meal just like my mother, they really come to see the grandchildren anyway. Besides it is my kitchen, just make her feel welcome in your home she might surprise you!
I don’t invite my mil over for this very reason. A little bit of hosting is one thing. Being a maid is completely different.