My mother in law forgot my kids birthday and middle name: Do I have a right to be mad?

Hahahaha. I have to sit there and think of birthdates for my own kids.

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Stitch her a sampler of your family with names and dates.

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Lol. Bruh I lived with my mom for 3 1/2 years with my daughter and a little over a year with with son, and she was in the room/hospital with me for both births. They are literally her only grand children with another on the way. And she needs to be reminded of their birthdays and doesn’t know their middle names. :woman_shrugging:t3: BooHoo. You were “so close” to her, doesn’t really seems like it since it sounds like you found the smallest thing to blow up over and cut her off for.
Who tf gets upset about someone not knowing their middle name? Me and my sister both thought our middle names were switched for a good 6-7 years :joy: and didn’t care when we found out they weren’t. My sister gets called like 3 different names by our dads side of the family cause they don’t know how to spell her name correctly. She finds it funny.

Who has the time and energy to pick that battle? Tell your man to be mad if anything and move on. I ain’t never trying to impose my kids on anyone….EVER,especially their own family who chooses not to be close with them. Don’t let the kids know you are sweating this, you will create entitled attitudes in kids who will think respect and love is owed to them by everyone. Move tf on.

Make up a new middle name each time… lol

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You can’t resolve it by not talking to her. If you’re upset about something just talk to your MIL she might have a good reason for all of it otherwise let it go.

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get a reallife she probably cannot remember casue she doesnt see them that often ,how many tmes has yur mom called yu sally and then remembered yur name is susie ,10 to 1 i bet she down that ,yur making yur self look stupid and getting pissed off over nothing,.just be happy that she still here.

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I think your making something out of nothing. If she actually forgets on the actual birthdays themselves then bring it up, but if she is just forgetting when being asked on the spot then let it go. Seems like your just looking for reason to be mad at her, distant yourself, and create drama.

You have every right to be upset but not cause a scene. Its not fair that if she forgets ur kids but not the others. In laws tend to pick favorites and it pissed parents off but. I would just bring it up to her not in front of others and make sure she is okay and ask why she forgot. Don’t get angry unless the situation warrents it. There may be a reason she forgot or maybe she just doesn’t care but tell ypur kids that people do this all the time they dont mean to but it happens and its nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t worry to much unless it keeps happening. It was your choice to move further away but she should also make an effort not just you.

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I dont even know my kids full names most of the time and dont ask for their birthdays cause they dont have one :woman_shrugging:t3::rofl:. It happens. It happens to my kids alot just brush it off.

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I am 68. I have 7 grandchildren. I have to write them all down! Your memory fades! Same with all middle names. Don’t be mad. You too will be there someday.

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Geez, my own mother doesn’t remember her kids birthdays, and she has a hard time remembering our kids middle names let alone their birthdays. We don’t pout at her, we tell her and laugh it off or tease her about it. There are far worse mils out there. Mine used to start fights between me and my hubby, until I cut her off for almost a whole ass year, now she’s good.

I don’t agree with these other commenters. That’s like saying that if you had 4 kids and they grew up and moved out of state and you rarely saw them that you would forget their middle names and birthdates and it would be ok. Forget that, that is just lack of effort on her part if she can clearly remember the other 2. I absolutely despise my mother in law and if I never had to see her again in my entire life I would be just fine. It’s already been over a year and I’m very content with that. She prob doesn’t even know our 3 kids names much less their birthdays :joy::joy: she’s also a crackhead among other things. She has seen our 19 month old 1 times his whole life and she lives in the same city as us :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: my 4 year old has no clue who she is and my 16 year old could care less who she is

My daughter’s name is Jillian and my mom still calls her Julian. My kid is almost 20 lol
Pick your battles.

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How old is she? Early onset Alzheimer’s? Bet you’d feel bad if that were the case and you’re being snotty about minor issues.

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Seems pretty petty to me. But my children also have very limited grandparents even alive so I guess maybe I’m biased in this dept. maybe she forgets bc she doesn’t see them regularly. Take the kids to her. She’s older I’m assuming. Quit being childish. Your husband should be sitting you down for a talk. Smh.

You kind of sound like a brat :grimacing: my grandma calls us 6 different names but ours usually. It would make sense she remembers the others names considering she’s around them more often. Also, my grandma forgot my birthday this year for the very first time in my entire life. Accidents happen, life happens, and forgetfulness is not only part of aging for most but also part of being human.

She may also be in the early stages of dementia…that is devastating to your memory.

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You seem kinda over the top

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It’s really not worth ruining family time. I get feeling upset over what looks like favorites, but you’re teaching your kids the wrong way to handle things. Pouting and throwing fits only makes things worse… you caused the “uncomfortable” yourself.

Don’t worry my own mom Don’t ever remember mine always calls me two days later :joy: so dont take it to personal :woman_shrugging:

You’re a mother grow up…

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Life is way too short to get upset over forgetting a name or a birthday… we are going through a pandemic… there are people dealing with really life issues… causing a scene and being so dramatic seems abit much childish!

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My daughter is 32 years old and up until 2 years ago her grandmother from her dad’s side never spelt her first name correctly. So for 30 years it was always incorrect. Pick and choose your battles.

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Yes ur being pathetic grow up

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Maybe she has the onset of dementia? This seems like a little over the top sister.

My daughter has a very long name. (Vivianna Yvonne Hope Marian Garcia) Im the only one that constantly remembers its order. Hell her dad can’t even keep them in order. Does it bother me? No. Because he still loves her.
Hell, most people in my family will call me someone else’s name before they land on mine. And we have a lot of girls in my family so sometimes it takes a minute. Do I get upset? No. Because I know my family loves me.

My nanny will also call my mom my sister, and my pepaw my dad. Names are apparently fluctuating in my family, so why not the family roles too? Lol.

Sometimes names are hard to remember, especially if you have a lot of people in your family, and that person gets up in age. Its normal, and while you may get upset, brooding and keeping silent doesn’t fix it.
Being far away with minimal contact doesn’t help either. If you get so upset by it, have a mature conversation with her and explain that it bothers you and have her write it all down so she can remember. Stop acting childish and dramatic over it, because that isn’t going to fix a thing, just damage relationships.

my grandparents can’t even spell my name right lol it’s not that deep

In set of dementia😛 get over it christ thank your lucky stars you still have a mother in law everyone does it im shocking for it

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You need to learn to relax lady, good lord , there’s people dying from a virus and your worried about someone forgetting a middle name…there’s worse problems in the world, put on your big girl panties be an adult and move on, there was no need to make a scene

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And here my mother in law is raging alcoholic whore. :roll_eyes::woozy_face:

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I think you are :100:% wrong! That’s not a reason to be mad, probably your kids have an awesome grandma and you are putting hate in between. I still confusing my kids day of birth.

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I stopped reading after
“My mother in law forgot my kids birthday and middle name: Do I have a right to be mad?”
That TO ME is extremely childish and as someone here mentioned you’re looking for a reason to be mad. I’m gathering she is in her older years as you and her son been together since 96. I can’t stand a nitpicker. You should have been an adult and sat her down and spoke to her not act like a toddler and throw a temper tantrum. You have technically a grown child and a teenager set an example by acting like an adult and speak to the MIL with respect as you were being disrespectful by not saying anything to anyone while being in her house, speaking of, you willing to disconnect the children from the grandmother because you want to act like a child and not handle the situation as an adult. I wouldn’t have invited you to nothing else GROW UP

I’m forever texting my mom when a birthday is approaching. Hell I even had to remind her so was going to be 49 not 50. I even had to break down the math for her before she would believe me. I remember EVERYONES birthday but that’s just the accounting brain…good with numbers. As far as names, I was called everyones name briny Gma got to mine. Also, have you thought about early stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s?

your serious right? getting mad over something so little :joy::joy: i’d hate to be married to you. you are indeed wrong. grow up and get tf over it. i forget my siblings birthday and don’t know there middle names half the time no need to be a bitch about and get mad over it… build a bridge and get tf over it.

My dad raised me since I was 9 months old and I’m 28 and he still spells my name wrong :rofl:🤷 now I’m grown with two kids of my own and he only knows ones (Savannah) name :rofl: the other one he just calls boy :joy::sob:

This is funny my own mother always called me by her little sisters name growing and she always forgot my birthday until a week latera week after my birthday is her moms. I am 38 this last year is the first time in many years that she actually remembered my birthday on the correct day. I think it has to do with the ranking you are in their life.

My first name is Nicole, but according to my grandmother, it was always, “Rachel, Mandy, what’s your name!” It didn’t mean she loved me any less :woman_shrugging:

Life’s too bloody short. Get over it, as long as you don’t forget your kids birthday or middle name what does it matter. My birthday is the exact same day as my Aunts and my grandma hasn’t remembered my birthday in 20 years (I’m 32) lol, mind you I don’t have a clue what her birthday is soooo…… lol
Can’t understand why people cause them selves so much stress and anxiety over petty crap like this.

Man sometimes I don’t even remember my own kids name. I be calling them each others names.

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You’re a bit over the top with this…

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Omg life to short does it matter The kids are old enough now to laugh it off .

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My mom forgets mine. Calls me all my sisters names before she gets mine. Lol

Seems like you should pick your battles. It really could be worse and your reaction is certainly not constructive. You’re allowing her ignorance to drive a thorn btw you and your husband.

Yes you are crazy for expecting you husband to be upset about something so little and petty as your MIL forgetting a birthday or middle name. Sh!t girl sometimes I forget my own kids birthday and middle name. Why are you making a mountain out of a mole hill? You owe your husband and mother-in-law an apology because as we age we forget things. That doesn’t change the fact that she loves her grandkids. I sense a bit jealousy towards the relationship MIL has with her other grandkids as opposed to your children. It isn’t that serious and you cannot make her do more. You’re acting like a kid who’s parents told them no they can’t have a candy at the candy store. Baby girl you are doing the absolute most. Get it together

Wow…. Just witnessed an actual Karen post. Shook my head while reading this entire post. You threw away an entire relationship over this petty bullcrap. WOW!

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I still have to think about my kids birthdays when I have to fill out paperwork at the drs office and I birthed them.

Sounds like you are the problem :woman_shrugging:

Did you feel “forgotten” or “unseen” growing up, by chance ?

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You’re kinda over reacting be lucky grandparents know first names and birthdays. My dad only remembered when he was alive cause my step mom wrote it on the yearly calendar she bought… There are a few of my younger kids that he didnt even know their names at all. Be grateful for what she does know and maybe she is showing early signs of Alzheimer’s depending on her age?

Don’t think it matters tbh my own dad can’t remember my birthday :rofl:

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You sound like a drama queen omg get over it it’s not that big of a deal. Definitely doesn’t warrent the way your acting like a child :roll_eyes::rofl:

Your being very dramatic and seriously need to grow up. Hate to tell you this mother in laws grow older than you they forget things they go thru menopause etc. Everything isn’t about you. Start living outside your bubble. Instead of being a baby have ya talked with her and asked her how she has been. You said you used to be close. Daughtee in laws need to be more respectful and understanding of their mothers and mother in laws being a woman you would think you would know this. Im 53 my memory sucks menopause sucks if i had a daughter in law like you I would laugh in your face and tell you to grow the hell up and stop looking for dumbass crap to have a reason to hate on me. Shame on you. There are others in this world not everyone has such perfect lives to nit pick on something so childish.

Gurl u the problem I would hate u as a nagging entitled inlaw

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Way petty from start to finish

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Lol… my mom calls me by her sisters name all the time… mom has 3 sisters an calls Me all 3 of them… I just look at her an say mom, wats my name??? Lol… she gave birth to me… she should know my NAME…

I can’t remember my own nephews (my sisters children) birthdays and middle names, does my sister seemed bothered, no she isn’t.
I think you just need to step back breath and choose your battles, life’s to short.

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You are overreacting :roll_eyes:

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All this anger, for what? Is this drama better for your kids? For your marriage? For you? For your MIL? No one wins this way. Show your children how to be compassionate, understanding- how to handle conflict with grace and upstanding character. Lead by example. MILs are human. They make mistakes just like everyone else.

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I’m sure my own mother doesn’t know my children’s middle names, nor their birthday off the top of her head. It’s no biggie. She also always spells their names wrong. Honestly it doesn’t mean she loves them any less. We have calendars and reminders so we don’t forget birthdays, but we certainly wouldn’t remember them all.

Jesus get over it love like you said she spends more time with the other grandkids than yours as you moved away n lived 90 mins away wait till your husband gets ur name wrong then ull really have something to be pissed off about

never mind forgetting birthdays mine get called every other family name often - yesterday I called my eldest grandchild by my sister’s name - and I think I have a good memory!

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My own parents forget my bday sometimes lol! Overreacting just a bit!

I don’t think the problem is in this Post… There’s something beneath the surface that either happened before that is making you this way.
Whatever it is " let it go."
If you don’t you’ll end up giving yourself headaches for small things.
Whatever happened in the past LET IT GO, YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST! You can’t change people… life is too short!
focus on your family and marraige and be the best version of YOU!

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Did 2020 teach you anything? :thinking: what’s important?

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By her a calendar and put their birthdays on it :flushed: if it bothers you that much, why haven’t you had a conversation with her as to why? Either ask her and find out or let it go.

My own mother forgets our birthdays and ages and gets our names mixed up every now and then, im the only girl with 2 older brothers, I think its hilarious when she messes our names up :joy::joy: its not that serious and takes very little time to say no im Cer or no im whatever your kids are called. Grow up woman. Or you’ll lose your kids as well.

Babe, don’t sweat the small stuff, love covers a multitude of mistakes, I’m sure you have forgotten things in the past also, and the person involved just shook it off because they love you, and you need to do that now, if you focus on every single mistake your relationship with her and your husband will be severely affected.

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Yes you are wrong and very petty. Grow the hell up.

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Grow tf up. Tf are you 12?

This woman came on here just looking for advice, and look how many ppl jumped on here just to bully her!!! I just went thru something similar as my husband and I have a child in common and my others are from a previous and his mother only likes the pictures I post of my h8sband and our child together not any of my others, who acknowledge and are so kind to her everytime shes around, you have every right to feel anything that you do but some of these people are right, life is to short, try to pet it go, she isn’t gonna be around long and it’ll be strange but you will miss her as well once shes gone… your the mommy just be the bigger person, I’ve wanted to flip on my mother in law bc of the pictures I dont think it’s right family is family but j know shes not gonna be around long and dont wanna put a strain on the relationship, especially the one w my husband (huge mommas boy) good luck to you!!! Ignore all these bullies!!! They’ve obviously never been through anything like it! You are NOT petty, your human and have feelings! Sending positive vibes and lots of love your way!!! Love is what the world needs right now!!! Good luck momma!!! :heart:

Girl you’re pathetic. :woman_facepalming:t4:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother in law forgot my kids birthday and middle name: Do I have a right to be mad? - Mamas Uncut

Souds like my husbands family

It’s not that deep sis

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Thats shitty. I agree w you .

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My paternal grandmother never remembered our birthdays or middle names. 💁 I also wonder if grandma could be in the early stages of dementia. I wouldn’t take it personally or let it become an issue.

No…grandparents get old. Let it be unless she stops showing love altogether

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I understand her calling them by The different names… I do that and I’ve only got 3 grandkids… Hell I even called my boys by the others one name…lol… But forgetting the birthdays … NOPE !!!

Talk about over reacting

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Shit happens. Hell, I call all 3 names of mine sometimes before I get the right kid lolo. It’ll be alright.

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Honestly My Mil could never remember any of her grand kids birthdays or middle names.We would all have to remind her it’s this one’s birthday or something like that .It was never malicious.

Seems a little too on purpose passive aggressive to me but…

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I sometimes forget my own. Get over it.

Im sure the only reason my mother remembers my kids birthdays is because Facebook reminds her. No biggie. I understand and accept that she has a closer relationship with the grand kids that live close to her I know it doesn’t mean she loves them any less.

Not at all. Life is too short

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As a mother to two boys who have ZERO grandparents due to the fact that they all passed before they were born, I say let it go.

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While your children’s birthdays and middle names may be very important to you, no one else is obligated to have them be as important to them. As long as your MIL communicates with the kids and you in a respectful manner, I don’t see this as an issue. It’s okay to feel a bit sad that she didn’t remember, but to cause a scene and to make family gatherings uncomfortable over this seems excessive and honestly, petty. Family won’t be around forever, so, unless she’s an otherwise toxic person, let it go.

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It’s understandable to be upset, but that seemed a bit over board.

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Have you ever thought she is getting older and might be forgetting things my mom did this it’s early onset dementia before you get upset ask her how she is doing she might be going thru it and you don’t know

As my parents and my in laws get older it’s harder for them to remember birthdays and middle names it happens. Theres times I have to even stop and think what year they were born and I tend to go through all the names before saying the right 1 sometimes

Age does crazy things to memory. Don’t make mountains out of me hills

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Omg, stop being a drama queen. You threw a tantrum and made a scene because they don’t know their grandkids bday. My own parents sometimes forget MY bday. You sound like a spoiled brat.

Wow ya know people who are aging lose memory I’m lucky I remember mine that’s just petty respect your elders because one day they won’t be here

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Nope she is dead wrong… The MIL should know all of her grand babies names, especially if it’s only 4… As a child in this experience it made me feel unwanted and always uneasy around my grandmother…

My mother in law has never even laid eyes on half her grandkids … would not even recognize them if she passed them on the street… her loss!

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Girl they’re probably old af leave them alone

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Your being really petty. You need to apologize to your husband and mother in law!!!

Something is seriously wrong with your husband. He should be upset that his own mother treats his children that way. There’s no excuse for the way your MIL is acting. I wouldn’t even let my children near her ever again. She is going to continue to hurt their feelings. They will feel unloved and unvalued and grow to resent her. Being around grandma is just going to cause emotional trauma to your innocent kids.

Fromexperience, the grand kids that are closest will always seem like the “favorites”. It’s simply because they have more access than the kids that are further away.

I was never a favorite as we lived over an hour away and my cousins lived 5 mins from my grandma. We did visit often but i still wasn’t as comfortable at grandma’s as they were.

But grandma was a bit rough around the edges. I dont think she knew our names until we darn near graduated high school and she would just run through the names of her kids and then the grandkids until she came to the right name.

Let it go, I had one grandma that called my sister Brenda and me Mitzy until the day she died. Our names are Brandi and Misti.