I think you might be overreacting. I only have 2 living children and I can’t remember their birthdays until I think about it .Are you children upset about it ?
I’m sorry you had a bad time .im sure she loves them
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This is not a battle Sis. As a Woman who had a Mother in Law. That was over the top with my Children. To now being a Grandmother. Stuff Happens. FYI: I have 2 Granddaughter’s that I don’t know their middle names.
No I think you’re being a little bit petty. The boy is an adult let him speak for himself.
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I think your a little to sensitive!
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How old is she? & How much do your children have to do with her? Do they call her regularly? Or do they only speak to her on your once a year visits?
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Wish my youngest had grandparents. Cut the lady a break. Now if she was mean and unloving that would be different. 
Simple solution. Christmas, buy her a nice calendar with each important date marked like birthdays, anniversaries etc. You can list the children first and middle name on their birth date. Just made Christmas shopping easy. Always know what one gift to always buy.
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I just asked my 6 year old if he’d be upset if his mawmaw forgot his middle name or birthday and he said “no, it’s not a big deal at least she’s there”
Lots of kids never know their grandparents… and some grandparents never get to be a part of their grandkids lives for different reasons so yeah, birthdays and middle names are important but its not the most important!!
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I’m glad you’re not my wife is that all you had to complain about
I understand you’re upset but I feel you overreacted. If you guys were close once before this happened then why wouldn’t you just communicate your feelings to her. Why handle it the way you did ?? It’s never to late to repair what’s been done.
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Nagging Drama Queene!!!
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Overreacting, let it go people get old and start to loose memories especially if you don’t see them everyday
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Have you tried to speak to her directly about why this is bothering you so much and given her an opportunity to make this right with you. Figure out why this has you so triggered so you can have peaceful interactions with your in laws.
Look at the bright side of things…
You must have a pretty good life if you have to make up problems🤷🏽♀️
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She honestly may not be able to remember those things anymore and since your children aren’t constantly around her makes it harder on her memory. Why not make or have a pillow made with your children’s names and birthdays on them?.But I’d try not to let it upset me. My mother accidentally called me my sister’s name the majority of my life.
Grandparents are older people that sometimes forget things like names and birthdays. Don’t make a big deal about this. The rift you are causing is going to affect your relationship with your husband.
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People are saying you are petty but I almost feel like that was on purpose… I feel she has something against you and likes pushing your buttons bc she knows you will react this way and likes it. Honestly you should pretend it doesn’t bother you and don’t go around her that’s no your obligation
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Sooooo when you got mad you threw a tantrum, acted like a toddler, refused interaction for a year, then put yourself in the corner at a gathering while simultaneously complaining about feeling like the 3rd wheel… If this is who you are I wouldn’t want to remember much about your family either. 
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Petty much ? Let it go
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Girl!!! I cant even remember my OWN KIDS birthdays sometimes and I fucking birthed them!!!
Let it go , life is too short for school yard tantrums
I mix my grandkids names up all the time , heck I even mix my own kids names up 
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I think the time and energy you’re spending on this you could be doing something productive, move on and stop acting so petty.
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Unless she has a history of being disagreeable or nasty to you and your children I would 100% let this go. Tell her in a respectful way that you were hurt and the kids are hurt and test the waters … she may surprise you!
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If it was your own mother, would you e angry
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Shoot, I can’t remember what I did 5 minutes ago and I’m only 55 years old. I call all my niece’s and nephews by the wrong name until I get in right. Let it go, time is too short. Maybe she is in the beginning stages of dementia or alzheimers.
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Not a big deal! Shoot my sister in law just texted me Happy Birthday. It isn’t for a few days! Just gave me a chuckle and appreciated the effort. Life is too short to sweat the small things.
Lol I have two kids and sometimes I call them by my nieces or nephews name. Shit happens. My husband’s father doesn’t know my daughter’s birthday and we’ve been together for 8 years. My grandfather, who has one child and 3 grand kids, gets my birthday wrong every single year and I’m 31… know what I do? I laugh it off and say no gpa my birthday is _____.
No one is obligated besides you and your husband to know every single thing about your children. It’s not that deep.
Oh my word I even call out wrong names to my kids, can’t remember birthdays of everyone I but reminders on calendar
I cant even get my kids names right when I’m yelling and screaming get over yourself
Geeze. To much emphasis on something that is so petty. Give her a break.Your 18yr old had hurt feelings? He should grow up a little bit.
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Hey I am an grandma and aunt and a mother in my 70 and I never get names or birthdays right. Grow up b a
Sweetheart and c how u do when u get older!!
Holy hell woman, there are way worse things in life. Your behavior is way worse than a grandmother forgetting her grandson’s middle name.
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Oh, lord, I forget my boyfriend’s middle name and my own blood type. Grow up and let it go. Nobody is perfect or infallible. Our memories fail us sometimes, and at really inconvenient times. You honestly sound like the problem, I’d like to hear the mother-in-law’s side.
Well, I things she’s totally overreacting!! OmG 
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Well, I’ve got 3 kids and I’m lucky if I get their first name correct when I’m talking to them, lol
I wouldn’t worry too much about it, honestly.
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I’d be pissed!! And terribly hurt. And terribly hurt for my son
Seriously over reacting. I’ve been married for 4 years and half the time I cant remember my husband’s bday correctly. Like some ppl just have garbage memories
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Meh my mom forgets all the time. And I’m pretty sure she doesn’t remember their middle name either. And she sees them all the time.
My grandma used to forget birthdays too. Or rather she’d remember the date, but not the year. I didn’t get too upset by it. It meant she gave me a bigger present for my 21st. Twice. As she’d also given it to me when I turned 20.
Completely overreacting and being a complete brat. My youngest is 2 my mom text me the other day what his middle name was. Hell I have a hard time remembering birthdays! When you get older you forget shit. I know my niece and nephews month and day…year not always so much. I hope someone makes you feel like a complete ass as well when you start forgetting
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I think that you’re overreacting because I am 55 years old and I can’t remember my niece and nephews birthdays are middle names. There are sometimes early onset dementia that you may not know about. You getting upset cut off every chance that you had to talk to her and say hey are you okay?
If my family got mad at me every time I forgot somebody’s birthday middle name or anything like that, heck half the time I don’t remember their first name and I call them by a different first name, I would not have any family left.
As for the visit and the distance between you guys - maybe you guys can meet halfway?
Unless you really know what’s going on with someone, they may not have the gas, they may not have the strength to drive that far, stuff like that, then you don’t really know what’s going on.
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Sorry,but you sound toxic .sulking in the corner because you didn’t get the candy you wanted . You are reading way too much on things ,and making a mountain of a molehill . She forgot ,so correct her . Life is full of shit for you to make an issue of something small. Your feelings are hurt ,and I understand that .
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Life is short for petty things. It’s her loss if she doesn’t remember birthdays. Middle name, well. That’s not so important that you have to be mad all over again. You waste more energy being mad. Love a happy life with your husband and kids. Whenever MIL has you over. You go cuz it makes your hubby happy. Then move on til the next function. It’s really not that hard
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Honestly sounds like your being a crybaby asshat is it really that serious that she doesn’t know their bdays or middle names 
my own mother couldn’t remember all thr grandkids 1st middle and last names or bdays of she wanted to she trys but it just doesn’t stick … if she treats them the same way I wouldn’t be complaining if she doesn’t then don’t go around her send your husband 
Is Mom ok? You seem to be about my age, so I wonder if age is catching up with her. In all honesty, some people have the whole birthday thing under control and some don’t. If you add age in, there may be a gap.
You have a right to feel how ever you want. Based on what you’ve explained however, it seems like you might be overreacting. Unless you and her have other beef it doesn’t seem intentional. If she’s not as close to your kids plus she’s older it seems possible to forget their names. I would explain to your son that she’s older and sometimes older people tend to forget things and it’s not personal. Also, maybe take conflict resolution classes with a therapist? Your overreaction to the issue needs attention. She could also be getting dementia so maybe focus on her health instead.
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I’d say her mind is slipping coming up in age
I hope your kids don’t blow up when you forget stuff
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Ohh my word you are quite a tool. Sadly, you’re teaching your children how to react just like you when such a petty issue comes your way. You are a very petty individual. I feel for your husband. Poor mil is being treated this way for something so trivial as not having all the T’s crossed and i’s dotted. Ughhh, pitiful!!!
I have to ask my husband his birthday 2/3rds of the time.
My nanna has to write all the grandies bdays in a book cause she can’t remember like she used to…my own father doesn’t know my bday unless I tell him a wk before and even then still forgets I don’t let it bother me cause we all have things going on and we get distracted
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Well next time put name tags and birthdays on your children so she can learn🤷♀️ I mean its a little petty, but funny and informative. Just explain to the MIL this is to help with her short term memory loss. This would also help me laugh about it and not put added stress on myself.
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I barely remember my own kid’s birthday’s, so there is that.
I only have 2 sons, and I still have to stop and think of their middle names … and one is a Jr!!
I constantly got my youngest son’s birthday date mixed up when he was growing up … his due date was march 3rd, but he was a scheduled c section for February 20. I went into labor on January 20, and he was born January 22. He was in NICU for 2 weeks … it was a blur of a time. I had the flu at the time he was born, which is what triggered the early labor.
Every year, I would have trouble remembering if it was January 20, or 22. I had a mental block and would have to drag out his birth certificate, to avoid the embarrassment of asking my husband.
My point is, sometimes people get mental blocks.
Heck, my kids are in their 30s now, and when I’m talking to one of them, I still run thru the list of names before I land on the right one.
Now I have 6 grandkids, 4 of whom have lived with me all their lives until just recently, and 2 that live about 2 hours away from me. I get to see them every other weekend for a day, if I’m lucky. I have to stop and concentrate to remember their middle names … but the 4 that lived with me come easy to me.
I love them all the same, but I’m more familiar with the 4 who lived with me.
I’m also going to be 61 this year … age is working against my memory!
Omg, I get my own children’s names and birthdays wrong, and my grandkids… doesn’t mean I love them any less.
Sometimes I do remember. I have asked my children to kindly remind me about my grandchildren’s up and coming birthdays a few weeks before because of this, ( I have a shit memory), I would not like to think my grandchildren think I don’t care or love them.
Sometimes it’s old age, sometimes it’s health issues, sometimes it’s because people have a lot going on in their head.
Please don’t be so judgemental and maybe a friendly reminder like: Hey Mum, it’s Y’s birthday in two weeks ( include date)( and middle name of child if you are that worried about it), we will be having cake around 11, we would love to have you there, but understand if you are busy…
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My mom lives with me and she forgets my kids names and swaps the days of their birthday. My granny did the same thing to me and my brothers. I think it is very silly and if you want to be closer to her or you feel left out bc y’all are so far away then it takes 2 to make it work. Phones work 2 ways effort works two ways. Hopefully you guys can come to a common ground and worry about things in life that really matter.
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How old is your MIL? I mean, shit. I’m only 36 years old, and my memory sucks. It sounds like you need to do some apologizing.
You must be holding some type of personal feeling towards her. Iono what happened between you two but it could be… She is getting older. She rarely sees the kids, thus she can’t remember the dates well. Don’t take it personally. My mom still mix all of my siblings name up by accident(we are 31-41 years old). My mom and dad don’t even remember that it is their birthday as well. We usually have to tell them that day and then they have to think about it. This whole little grudge you are holding on is not worth getting upset about. If they don’t then they don’t. If you want them to remember then stop acting awkward around them. Make a change. If not then you shouldn’t feel petty about it.
One time I went to the pharmacy and got both my kids birthdays wrong. In my defense I had two sick kids and was plum exhausted 
Sounds like she may be getting Dementia, I deal with this everyday since I am my mothers caregiver. Should I get mad at her because she forgets I am her daughter and calls me mom? No I take that as a blessing that she thinks I am good enough to be her mom.
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Omg seriously…maybe choose your battles … or are you looking to make trouble… Only one your hurting is yourself… 
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I’m a grandparent and that’s too much pressure on grandparents. The only people obligated to remember anything about the children are the parents. Also, as the children get older they can reach out to their grandparents- 2 way street.
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I live 2 minutes from my parents, and we see them often. My dad forgot my daughter’s first name the other day. I feel like, while shitty, it’s not a huge deal.
Seriously, get over yourself. As our parents get older they forget everyone’s names and birthdays that are near or far. As you said, she’s by herself even. You visit them, so what’s the big deal. That’s what we do out of respect. Who cares about the middle name and a birthday date. Do what my niece does and make a photograph calendar with your family photos and age and birthday and on the dates of their birthday you put an individual photo (and perhaps include a middle name lol). It doesn’t seem to bother the rest of your family, no ones perfect, people forget as they get older, you’re spoiling everyone’s time by making it all about you
My Dad created a list of all of birthdays and anniversaries etc for our family and my brothers family and he has it posted beside his calendar. (Even then, they seem to forget my eldest boy’s birthday). How about making something similar with all of the grandkids birthdays printed on a piece of paper? I have 5 children and I guarantee they only know my eldest daughters middle name. Their paternal grandmother doesn’t even care to know how old they are or what grade they are in, let alone middle names and birth dates.
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Ah yes 1st world problems
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Absolute nonsense just grow up and stop bothering the elderly with such petty stuff.
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Maybe Mom may be suffering from Early Alzheimer’s or Dementia… Be kind & if you want her to come to events that bad, go pick her up
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Honestly friend, I think I’d approach it differently. Life is too short, and if that’s her only fault then you’ve got yourself gem of a mother-in-law. Please think about doing something other than complaining, which really doesn’t have much of an impact on us older folk. Maybe order her something like this, (see link in comments) or make it for her. She’d probably love it and you’ll feel a ton better. Also, put yourself in her place when your boys have kids. How would you want his significant other to respond? If you’ve told the whole story, my honestly opinion is you owe her and your hubby, and possibly your children, an apology. Humble up, it’ll be worth it. Best of luck and God bless! (Can’t attach image so I’ll post it below. )
I have 5 grandchildren and you definitely wouldnt want me as a mil then cause I can hardly remember their birthdays however my daughter in laws would never be upset w me over that. Life is short .
These are the kids she doesn’t see as much so it makes sense she’d be closer and more familiar with the ones she sees more. You said she rarely visits/visited? In all this time, what have you done to help her spend time with your children? It sounds to me like you are jealous of her relationship with the other kids. Try not being so petty.
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Are you wrong for being pissed at your MIL…NO. Are you wrong for expecting your husband to be mad at his mother…YES. You cannot tell him how to feel. Just as he tolerated your scene against his mother, you need to tolerate his unwillingness to fight your battle.
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When I was little my dad used to go thru all our names till her got to mine
Maybe early dementia? Remembers them cuz she sees them often? Ask the other sid if the same thing was happing when you were close? I’m just saying.
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Dude you are in the wrong…it’s a middle name…also how old are his parents? Pretty easy to not remember children’s middle names when they aren’t around all the time. Also…your child that was offended is an adult…so sounds like you need to get over it
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Does she have a low thyroid, anemic?? I forget things… it’s not on purpose.
Uh, try a little Grace… not knowing their middle names… that isn’t a battle worth ruining relationships over. Sounds like to me you had unmet expectations of the relationship with her… you left and declared war with her and your husband by your actions…
Perhaps due to age she has memory issues… perhaps she is closer to the other family members because they make the effort to see her…
You possibly ruined any chance of anything better by storming off … declaring never again…
Question… how often do you call your children by their middle name? The fact she knew first names shows she was interested in them…
Remember aging parents need Grace… patience and understanding…
Personally, I think you picked a fight over something not worth destroying your marriage over, changed the relationship for her and your kids… and a year later you are still upset at her, your husband and in-laws…
Time to move on or reconcile with her…
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Sounds like you’re the only one with a problem…
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Hell I love my nieces and nephews to death and I don’t remember any of there birth dates just months and I can’t remember any of their ages…or keep up with my sisters ages…sometimes its just a lot going on with life in general and you can’t keep up with what you have going on and everybody and everything else, it doesn’t mean they love you any less… Sometimes try to get an understanding with the other person rather than being in your feelings!!
Unless your children regularly go by first and middle name, John David or Rose Lynn or something like that, you’re doing too much. That’s too much energy for something so … I don’t even know what to call this.
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You know… This could happen to you one day as well. Do you really want your DIL treating you this way when your memory slips? As people age small things start to slip away. My grandma used to mix up me and my cousin’s names constantly. We knew she loved us all and it was just her age. If you keep acting the way you do and it comes out your MIL has dementia/memory loss your husband is going to resent you and possible your kids too. Sounds to me you could use some education on memory loss and maybe some manners.
Your MIL may very well be in the early stages of dementia, chill out, you need to put the extra effort into helping her remember things you may feel is important, then again they most likely aren’t important, my mil is in the middle stage of dementia, most of the time she doesn’t know the grandkids, she didn’t know her own son for several days,my husband, never told her who he was , it wouldn’t of helped anything, in a few days she knew him again, it will only get worse, don’t worry about it, make the times together enjoyable,your children are old enough to understand that in life things happen and they need to make the best of it, be kind, your behavior is far worse than hers, you are most likely making everyone else feel bad, be the adult and help make get togethers a joyful time, this is not about you, remember that as you age.
Ill be 37 this year my own parents dont know my birthday.
Hey atleast they have alive grandparents be offended if she got the first name wrong…
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Meh my own mother calls my son “the boy” because she can’t say Andre . I know she loves him calls him all the time and asks about him. Don’t sweat it. Ask her to come up with a nickname for your kids and have her call then that.
it’s really annoying when grandparents cant be bothered to care enough to remember basic information . if there was ever an emergency , they’d be useless
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My mom has gotten my second son’s middle name wrong since birth. It’s D Walker and she pronounces it like DeWalker. She’s been close to my boys since birth they’re now 19 and 20. I tried correcting her at first but just let it go, not worth getting her upset or straining our relationship.
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Depends on the memory . my own mother forgot that I told her I was having a boy when she even announced it on FB. 2 months later she said she didn’t know. I showed her and she said it must have been an announcement from my other son when the year is on the post.
Then she suggested I should give my youngest son the middle name Daniel after my dad. I reminded her that my oldest son already has that middle name . she was the one who suggested it last time too lol. She forgets every thing
Wrong wrong u r wrong, 1day u 2 will get old and I hope your kids 4give and support u when u 4get stuff instead of throwing their toys out the cot and behaving like a baby. Life is 2 short, Love,patience and kindness should b your guide, forgiving people who dont live up 2 your expectations. Is it really such a big deal🤔
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Overdramatic. She forgot a bday so you threw a temper tantrum? The fact that the other kids see her regulary is probably why she knows their bdays etc. You used to live 90 min away, now further…maybe thats why she didnt come to everything. My ex forgot our kids exact bday but he was a good dad and loved our kids. It happens!! This is your kids family, stop the temper tantrums bc it puts a lot of burden on their shoulders. Our kids look to us to learn how to act in different situations. If you had made a joke out of, his feelings wouldnt have been hurt. 19 yrs old is a little old for him to be upset. Pretty sure his feelings werent hurt, he was reacting the way youve taught…dramatic, ridiculous, and immature. For all you know shes geeting alziemers or dementia. Your husband is lost bc your reaction doesnt fit the crime AT ALL. And he doesnt need to be mad just bc you are. Hes his own person. And he doesnt have to answer to you either. You owe that woman and your son apologies. Im sure you bring up the fact that she forgot, especially mad, and thats making him feel less than over a mistake. I still cant wrap my head around leaving, going to a hotel, and not being involved for a year…to me it seems like you need to be center of attention or tantrums start. Good luck with that
You are nitpicking and dramatic
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Think yourself lucky…
I left my abusive husband in 2013, and that was that last time my ex’s parents have had anything to do with our children. They are now 13 & 16. Oh, they text on their birthdays, yippee! Be grateful they even acknowledge their existence. My kids don’t know what it’s like to have grandparents, my Dad & Mum died before they were born
Listen everyone jumping down her throat don’t know all the details. The grandmother can be picking favorites and there could be many other details we don’t know. So instead of calling her names and just thinking inside the box. I’ve dealt with something similar grandmother always came to the city to pick up my sons sister from another mother but never my son. She spends every second weekend with his sister . But never sees my son she doesn’t even call him. She only stops by om bday and Christmas at the door gives the present and leaves. So I know how it feels. People only read a few minutes and think they know all the info
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Wow…if you really are feeling some type of way…just don’t go around your in-laws any more…Gee Wizz:flushed:
She raised her kids …there is no rule she has to remember the grandkids birthdays and middle names. My mother is amazing and she has 8 grandkids… we still have to ask each other about birthdays bc so many of them are similar dates. I also don’t feel grandparents should be obligated to attend birthday parties. Not everyone makes a big deal about those days. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you have ever forgotten a date, a name or an anniversary. If you haven’t then you are a Saint. I miss things and I even write them on a calendar. Your kids could care less I promise you. If that’s your only complaint about your mil consider yourself lucky.
Nah. Some people forget their OWN kids info, let alone their grandkids. Don’t worry about it
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You are going to be so embarrassed about your behaviour once you mature.
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Perhaps she has altzheimers or dementia. Cut her something slavk
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Your being petty… Seriously
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Wow sounds like you’re a handful. Shame on you for expecting your husband to sink to your level. As far as your child being offended I bet he wouldn’t if you wouldn’t. You sound like your trying to cancel your MIL out of the picture. Stop being so damn offended by every little thing. Your husband is stuck between a rock and a hard spot and you cant make him choose its not right. If you married him in 99 you obviously are old enough to know what you are doing is ignorant
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As someone commented, unless you call them by first and middle name all the time…who remembers that? …grow up…
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