It’s not his families job to accept your kids from a previous relationship. They’re excited for their first grandkid, why try to control that situation?
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That’s just wrong. My children have partners with kids…the new age of dating in your 40’s, ppl have a past and it usually includes kids, I’ve always accepted those children and made them feel welcome and that I have enough love to share…these parents need to get over the bio thing and make all the kids welcome. It will brighten their lives!!! Kindness, it is wonderful.
No , you don’t ignore it . You check them mfs .
He should tell her to eff off and tell her she either needs to accept those kids as his kids or go to hell
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Don’t let her little mind mess with yours, young one. Don’t let her words and drama in your home. Your home your rules- but it is his Mom - when you- together - decide put your foot down do it in a nice way but firm way. But until then - ignore it sweetie.
They do count mother in law needs a reality check I have 8 step kids and I love them all like my own. Children are precious no matter who the mom and dad are. Also congratulations you both will be great parents
Every child counts!!! And noone should referring to them as a step child! As the 6th “step child” of a family I can tell u it hurts like hell at any age to b referred to as less than!! Everytime I hear someone say step son or daughter I picture them coming down the steps stepping on children’s heads. Your Mother in law is a vengeful/sad human being!! Good Luck to you and these poor children!! Makes me sick!!
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Don’t let one idiot inject her dim view into your lives. Families are created in more ways than one.
my parent-in-laws are the same. We are a blended family of 6, my husband has 3 children from a previous relationship, i have 2 and we have 1 together. My in-laws only class my husbands first 3 as their grandchildren and my husbands kids, we are try to teach the kids to be inclusive and that it doesn’t matter where you come from your equal and loved. My family respect this and treat all the same but my in-laws haven’t even made the effort or asked to see our child that we have together who is almost 7 weeks old now. because of this we have cut them out of our lives as we don’t need that behaviour around our children. Even my kids bio mum calls me mum and the same for my children’s bio dad call my husband dad, because that’s what we are. mum and dad and so are our ex’s and their partners, we’re all trying to navigate this crappy world and raise decent humans.
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Ignore her, she’s obviously got issues and there’s nothing that can be done to take back what she sed. What matters is how your husband sees those kids.
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Put your foot down if she can support all of the kids then cut her off and don’t allow her near any! Kids can tell favoritism doesn’t matter if you are step or blood they are still siblings and their stepdad is still a dad. I was one of the “step kids” and was never accepted by my step family. I was his “real” daughter. I cut off 90% of my step family bc of that even now as a adult bc I’m still not “blood” and my kids never get invited or included anyways
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Say something or their view will never change.
She could have kept it to herself. Why must ppl say everything that pops into their heads out loud. She intentionally said it to let you know she considers the first two children as yours exclusively.
You can only control your reactions, not her actions.
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Don’t dwell on someone who doesn’t know what’s going on in your family. Don’t listen to or receive foolishness. Concentrate on the fact HE sees your children as his own and treats them that way. If it really bothers you calmly ask him to set the record straight with her. Otherwise just keep the peace in your home.
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I had a family member use the word ’ step’ and I told this person, “we don’t use the word step child, or step-mom” (my bonus kids call me Mimi, as to not step on their mom’s feelings)…
Either you’re family or you’re not.
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I have 8 children and my wife she takes and cares about them she doesn’t say step and I take her children as mine and I don’t say step I say I have 11 children and proud of them all
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His mother is a fn idiot. Don’t waste ur,time energy or love on her
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She has issues, they shouldn’t be labeled as anything different. Put her in her place!!!
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Was it the right thing to say? No. Could she of been adult about it? Yes. But she is right. It is his first official Father’s Day. It sucks to say but it’s true. He and her can love those children with all of there hearts, but in the end, you guys break up they go with you. They will never be his biologically. I would feel  devastated as a mother, if my sons step mother used Mother’s Day for herself. 
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You need to tell her to go f herself and block her from your life. I’d be absolutely livid
I put my foot down if she can’t count the other kids then she won’t see the bio child it take a real man to stand up to his mother and make the step kids count if he can’t do that then get out of that relationship cause it’s not going to get better!!!
Step kids are awesome. And yeah, like your own child. BUT, he has his blood passed down. It makes sense his family is excited to celebrate. Do you remember your first mothers day? How special it felt for you? 
Let him have this. What his family says should mean nothing to you. What HE says matters. If he says this isn’t his first father’s day, just leave it be 
I went through this as well, you’re not alone babe
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I don’t understand people like this. Does he not do all of the fatherly things for his Step kids? Raise them, love them, care for them? That makes him a dad. The step doesn’t matter. I’d cut the in laws off.
What a b#&&@& ! Had to deal with this shit with my ex. My in-laws now are absolutely wonderful and don’t do this. Family is family step or not. What did your husband say? I would have him address his mother that way you don’t have to deal with Satan in law.
They are wrong on every level. I am a step parent and bio and I don’t separate the kids, they are all mine and my family treats then all the same blood or not. My now hubby has grandkids from my kids, his step kids but he loves those babies all the same. Shame on them and shame on him for not correcting them.
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He’s not bothered. That says a lot!
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What matters is does he feel like he’s a father? And the children as well. Her opinion doesn’t matter that’s why he’s probably saying it’s not a big deal. But I see this woman not treating your children fairly because she doesn’t see them as family to her, which is sad. I’d have to cut her out of your life I’d she can’t treat everyone with kindness and respect.
Kindly explain how the children would feel and let her know you don’t agree with the behaviour. Not all parents are biological but all children notice nob heads like her . Xxx
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she is not their Bio grandmother. does she leave them out there too?
Well… biologically she’s right, but if he’s stepped up and become a father to your kids then he’s a father to them. She’s letting you know that she’s their ‘step’ grandmother, but the new baby is the official grandkid. Not very sweet of her, but there’s not much you can do but ignore it, especially if your husband doesn’t have an issue with it. Wonder how she’d feel if he officially adopted them? Or any other child?
As long as she’s treating your kids well you shouldn’t push the issue, in-fact you may want to have your children all her something other that what ‘her’ grandkids call her, just so they and she know she’s just a step and not their bio-granny. Just saying.
it’s her beliefs. just leave it alone.
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Toxic. And his nonchalant attitude is toxic as well.
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Oh I would say something, my oldest son has 2 step kids. They aren’t married anymore but they are still his kids and my grandkids.
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What a shity horrible bitter trouble making grandmother i would let rip and tell her shes not welcome,and shes not going to see any of the kids with a attitude like that.
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Small things. Just ignore her small-minded comments.
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I would talk to her and be honest in how she is hurting your feelings and inadvertently hurting your children’s feelings good luck 
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My step-dads stepmom has this mentality. Claims I’m not my step-dads actual kid or.her “actual” grand kid since I’m not blood (he married my mom when I was 3 years old) but her being his step mom, she treats him like her own son even though his biological dad had died. I will never understand people like that 
When you marry someone with children those kids become your kids as well and shouldn’t be treated any different. I have a “step” daughter but I treat her as if she’s my own. There’s no step in our family.
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She’s being stupid, rude and super unkind!
What she says and does says more about her than it does about you…
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I’d wonder why it didn’t bug him.
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I don’t see the problem with the word step, it is what it is, I have step children but everything I do for them, I do for my bio children.
I think being offended by the word step paints a negative around that parent child relationship when there shouldn’t be.
Anyway, grandma is wrong, this isn’t his first Father’s Day however, everyone is probably just excited for him, in reality, your guys’ child IS his first biological child and no matter how you want to see it, it’s the truth and sometimes there are just different types of excitement over a first for everything.
If your husband doesn’t have an issue with it, I don’t see why you should MAKE him say anything about it.
As long as he treats all his children the same, who cares. You can easily cut off his family if they treat your kids like shit but they don’t really matter in my opinion 
being a father is more than just blood xx
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You’re not over reacting at all!! I am so sorry you’re going through this. I don’t do “step” either like with my siblings we have bonus brothers and sisters. Do what you feel is right for you, hubby, and babies as a family and go from there! And HAPPY MOTHERS DAY AND HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO YOU BOTH! Congratulations on the new baby!!! Good luck!
I would say since it’s already past just let it go because now you know where her head is on the whole situation and since she wants to out your other baby’s she’s outed on all your baby’s there is no difference between them and talk to your husband about it and let him know that it isn’t ok. Yes technically it was his first bio Father’s Day but he became a dad the day he married you.
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If my MIL were this psychotic (she’s absolutely not and I love her tons), I wouldn’t allow her in my life or the lives of ANY of my kids, whether they were biologically her grands or not! Bye, toxic “family member”!
My deceased husband took over my 5 kids and they loved him as Their real Dad. Best Dad ever! Sure miss him. He never had any of his own! 
It’s true. That’s his first child. Having a blended family is OK stop trying to force things into being something it’s not.
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I would be upset too and just simply correct her and say that it’s not his “first” father’s day. He is your first 2 children’s dad as much as he is the new one.
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Different strokes for different folks, what she says means shit. Unless she tells your kids something then like her smack her lips. But do step up and put her in her place if she EVER tells your kids something.
As long as he doesn’t feel that way just ignore her
She may not have accepted your kids as her grandchildren and only recognizes the bio child and is reflecting that. Was she never present or involved in your Father’s Day activities before the bio child was born? If not that could also be part of it.
Technically it is the first Father’s Day with his bio child.
Not all parents consider the children of their child’s partner to be real family and that’s their issue. You can’t change that.
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Tell that hag to STFU next time that comes out of her mouth
Oh hell na!!! I can see it both ways. Yes it’s his first bio fathers day but when you said I do he became their father.
For her and the family to exclude his other kids like that is bullshit…
Let your husband say something or let it go. Not everyone has the same views on this and it speaks more of how they feel than your husband. Your mother in law clearly sees herself as a first time grandmother. You can’t change how other people feel. It changes nothing. Your husband recognizes the kids as his own even before you shared a bio child together .All that matters is how you and your husband treat the kids.
It is his first father’s day 
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It is his first father’s day 
the end. Nothing to say to anyone!!!
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She needs put in her place when u married him those kids are to be part of the family
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what have you done the past few fathers days? you make him feel special? it is his first bio child fathers day thats not fair to take it away from him.
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It is not his first Father’s Day how you treat your first 2 makes you their father bio or not doesn’t matter they are part of your wife and a blessing to your family . I would definitely be offended ‘!!!
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Mother-in-law is wrong. She doesn’t want to be Grandma???
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Lots of cracked mentalities out there. Children aren’t chess pieces….children need love and a good home environment no matter what.
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Ew. If you husband didn’t say anything on his own, he’s just as wrong too.
You’re not overreacting.
If he considers those kids his own, he needs to stand up to those saying “first”
That’s disgusting behavior, from your MIL, yo your husband thinking “it’s not a big deal.”
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If he loves those step kids and he doesn;t say anything , it’s on him. Not your problem, but I wouldn’t hurt those kids by letting them hear that. Just let it go. He loves them all and that is all that counts.
Your mil sounds like a rude b
Tell her to fuck right off
We’ve had the same issues. My bf and I aren’t married yet but he’s been in mine and my kids lives (and I, in his kids lives) for almost 3 years. We share 1 child together. His mom (and sister) do not look at my littles as his children, but his dad does. My family accepted his children as theirs when we started dating. We both knew we had children from other relationships before getting involved with eachother and both took on the role as bonus parents. It’s a package deal. We’ve now cut most contact because of these issues.
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It is his first father’s day. That doesn’t take away from him loving your older kids, but they do have a whole different father out there that isn’t him. If this is your only complaint after a few years it would seem his family treats your kids well so I’m not seeing the issue.
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At least they won’t go on next year and the year after saying, “it’s your second father’s day or third etc” let him have his “first” and move on
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Your children are his children by choice but at the end of the day your child together is his first child, don’t punish him and his family for being excited about his first child. Your husband doesn’t consider your kids step but that doesn’t mean he can’t be excited our proud to be a first time dad to his own biological child. It doesn’t mean anyone loves your kids less, they are just enjoying his moment. Let them have it. Don’t freak out and make it a thing unless it becomes a real thing.
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She’s pathetic and should be ashamed of herself.
Not overreacting. I didn’t read the whole thing but she sounds toxic af. She’d be cut out if it were me 
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She may have only meant that as being the first time throughout the pregnancy and being involved with the birth. Same similarity in my family with kids. Had 2 step daughters but had a child bio between them. Was the first time my son had the involvement of becoming a parent … I’m sure that’s what she was meaning… might ask her if that’s what she was expressing… to not build resentment or wedges between you to. Or ask your son to approach his mom her intent. Only fair she clarifies.
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A blended family is amazing. Blood does not make you a parent but unconditional love does. If this miserable person does not accept the “step children” then she does not accept the other. How cruel can some people be.
Let it go. My ex and family do not even consider that I am the father of my 3 daughters and son. Only one daughter remains connected. Let it go. My current wife, her daughter and grand daughters do consider me their Dad and Grandpa. Shallow people will always be shallow. They severed the connection. Their loss. You will be fine in the end of their selfish endgame. Smile!
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Individual preferences and beliefs, sometimes individual differences.
W t f
Next time she has a thought like that, tell her tooooo
Let it go.
I made a rant post about this myself this year. My SO stepped up six years ago and we’ve celebrated fathers day with him in those years. 2020 I gave him his first child and suddenly it was “happy first fathers day” from his family. It hurt me, which I don’t express my feelings, but it really hurt him more than any of us I think. People are just plain insensitive. There’s no better way to explain it and definitely no way to justify it.
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Your mother in law is a narrow minded POS
That is terrible for her to say that. So hurtful to your children.
She just being an old cow
Just ignore her