Stick to your wants and needs. She should understand. I do.
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Hi lovie I’m in my 60s had some similar things like this Is your husband a god fearing man sounds as this he’s mommas boy. When you marry you leave your mother n cleave to your wife may want to stand up for you n your son with him as now you both become one. Having boundaries make relationship work he doesn’t have boundaries rt. Your totally rt on your son not bieng around grams because of what her work. Risk the whole family your being a good mom have you herd of tbn Christian tv n radio they have free counselors n coaches that can really help free I think I’m hear for you lovie blessings to you all:innocent:
What do you mean by essential worker exactly? My husband is an essential worker he is a welder for a casket manufacturing company. However he’s at no more risk of being exposed as I am having to go grocery shop. Unless she is on the Frontline and exposed directly to COVID-19 (Healthcare, etc) then your being selfish and honestly sounds to me like your using COVID as an excuse to distance her. And mad she came up to the hospital? Was your family there? If so, Your going to have to learn and quickly that his family is just as important as yours and should be given the same respect and opportunities as yours, otherwise you will end up putting a HUGE, possibly irreparable rift in your marriage.
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Going through the same thing!
You is doing the right thing this virus is not over
Boundaries…read the book.
Just remember u will b a grandma one day
OMG!!! It’s called technology!!! Skype…Zoom… FaceTime…Fb phone call etc
My-Gawd-today, it’s time for Grandma to get in her CORRECT PLACE!!! this situation needs ADULTING, so be the Adult and stop dancing around an old woman that wants her cake and to eat it. Protect your child at all cost. Your MIL will be fine🤦🏿♀️
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Stick to your guns. I would
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Your husband is a tool and your MIL is an ass.
Your baby, your choice. Even if you are withholding the baby from her, that’s your prerogative. I’m sure you’d have good reason. 
. She works the front lines? Even more reason. I didn’t allow my mother in law or any of dads blood side, to see my daughter when she was born and for 6 weeks after, almost 7 years ago. (So nothing Covid related, but I had my reasons). My daughter, my choice. “Grandma should be allowed, simply bc she’s grandma, blah blah blah”. But doll, you are MOM. As long as you and your husband aren’t duking it out over it, no one else matters. Your baby, your choice. Simple.
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First of all , your husband sounds like the biggest ass ever, he would be dealt with first. And your mother-in-law songs like a lunatic. So you are in with the wrong family. I would be doing something about that. Just saying.
Babies don’t get covid
YOU ARE RIGHT!!! im an RN & my kids are keeping me away from their kids. Lately ive been allowed to be on my sons porch with a mask on & them over 6 feet away. If ur son gets it the child die… does she really want that on her conscience? Have her talk to other nurses & doctors so that its not just you.
Your husband was very wrongvto bring his mother in to the labor room with u against ur wishes!!! I wouldnt let my own Mom in!!!He should be backing u up in this & explaining to his mom …we know u want to see baby but his health is our primary responsibility & NO ONE is visiting til this is over.
TOUGH SHIT if she dont like it. It shoukd be more palatable comibg from him. BUT he cant say" wife says"…its got to be “we are not letting anyone visit” he needs to present a united front with you
Some ppl have different comfort levels & relationships with their in-laws. It’s nobody’s choice but hers who she wanted at the hospital etc. To each their own. Clearly she cares if she’s asking for such important advice from what seems to be a bunch of hugely judgemental ppl. Cut her some slack. She’s 100% correct to keep that baby as safe as safe can be RN. My stepfather died from covid not long after I refused to allow them to send him home from a rehab facility since there were 7 covid + cases there that I by the grace of God only knew about from knowing ppl inside. I felt awful but as a nurse I knew what I was talking about. I also joined an emergency covid 19 response team & left home while there u til I ended up with it& once I was 100% 4 tests clear I headed home to assist my amazing Momma with all she’s dealing with. This shits no joke. So if the grandmother is being that problematic then honestly she’s an asshole.
Personally you sound like a bitch
You sound very selfish
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It’s your child. You owe NO ONE anything. Your child’s health is priority 1.
End. Of. Story.
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I’m sorry but your husband has just as much right having his mum there then you would want your mum there …that’s not the point but fact is your selfish!
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She is not taking the babba to work is she? Surley she will shower after work and come to your home clean. We are all carefull but she is the granny
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There’s something else going on here. Too much animosity aimed at mil. Why exactly couldn’t she come to visit at the hospital? And now it’s bc she swears or that she’s essential? What will it be next to keep her away?
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We are in a pandemic. Regardless, if mom says no, it’s a no. Seems like MIL lacks boundaries.
Everyone needs to be comfortable with the option of a social distance visit.
A video chat here and there can’t hurt.
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If you didn’t want your MIL at the hospital she shouldn’t have been there. She broke your trust and your husband. That’s a hard thing to get over especially when you associate that with your child. We saw my parents and in Laws with social distancing for my youngest’s birthday. It was tough and my kids are 9 and 4. But it worked. I get the feeling that your MIL won’t respect the 6foot rule, so I understand not risking it. But you are going to have to have a serious conversation with your MIL and you husband and make yourself be heard and understood. Your MIL already sounds like she’s going to be difficult to deal with where your child is concerned. So good luck with that!
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You’re mom and you make the rules. Period.
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Sounds like you kind of are to be honest
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This moment in time in hard for everyone but it’s your history with this women that is the problem. In my opinion The hospital story is sad, very cruel and inconsiderate on your part by banning her all together. I understand wanting privacy during delivery but not allowed to show up at all? I can only pray that my son doesn’t marry a woman that treats people like this.
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It’s honestly up to you as the mother. I have a 9 month old, im an essential worker, both my parents, and my in-laws are aswell. So to me theirs no greater risk of my little being around them as their is me. We however haven’t been in large groups or taken our little into grocery stores or anything along those lines either
Let her be mad. She is being selfish and inconsiderate not only towards you but towards her grandchild. Just continue to let them know when all this covid crap let’s up things will get better. She can take it or leave it but what momma says goes . Most of my family has not even met my 3 month old yet for the same reasons. My dad has seen my son twice and same with my MIL. She calls her son every Saturday trying to come but I dont allow it right now. I think she knows to stay in her lane when it comes to my kids lol.
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I don’t think she’s being cruel at all. My dad and his girlfriend did the same thing, she didn’t want a bunch of people swarming the hospital or to say yes to one person and not another and have drama. The hospital is a private time for the parents and a short amount of time for the mother to heal before going back home into the real world. Also you really don’t want a bunch of people around your newborn spreading germs anyways, especially right now!! Once you are out of the hospital people can make visits one at a time. It’s safer for your baby and gives you time to relax. Having people there is the choice of the mother, she’s the one fully exposed and even after birth she just pushed out a baby. Give her some time to just relax and enjoy her child.
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I would never tell my MIL she couldn’t be at hospital. She after all brought my husband into the world which allowed me to marry him and have his child. Dads have rights to. Maybe he didnt want your mom there. Oh but that’s a different story
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Some how I feel you have animosity towards your mil and you are looking at all possible reasons to try and keep her away from your baby.
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Well, you problem is not the MIL… your husband needs to man up… if he wouldn’t have jumped the boundary of bot bringing her in after the baby’s birth, nothing would’ve happened… he let her know that you and your emotions doesn’t matter… i know many of my family (even if not an essential worker) going out without any proper protection… so my kids haven’t seen anyone since the day the lockdown started…
If you force me to see my kids during this time, that means you want my kids dead and you wouldn’t care at all…
I am a bad person for that… i am happy to be a bad person… my kids are more important than your “love”
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One day your child will grow up. When grandchild is born will you want to go to see it. Put yourself in her place. Do you understand " love ". We are to love everyone. Learn to love your mother in law. Read 1Corinthians 13.
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This sounds like an issue with your husband, tbh. Yeah MILs can be like this, but it’s ultimately the fault of your husband if he would rather be on his mother’s side than yours, and deliberately disrespect you during the birth of your child like that. He could also communicate with his mother that he agrees with you and that it’s not because you’re trying to keep her from her grandchild in general.
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Going through same thing except mines a
New born and she refuses to quarantine or social distance
Stick firm to your boundaries. You aren’t doing anything wrong. Your MIL and partner where very in the wrong to ignore your wishes at the hospital. Your MIL is very wrong to try to ignore your wishes now.
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Honestly its your child so its your right
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I’m an essential worker and I have my own 9 month old. As long as she’s not wearing her work clothes and she’s clean it’s fine, stop overreacting
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You jumped from your MIL swears to you didn’t want her in the room after you delivered your baby. So which the problem? She swears too much or you didn’t want her in the room after you gave birth? I’m just confused is all.
I’m sorry your husband did not respect your privacy. 
I agree with the others, let her be mad.
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Your mother in law needs to grow up. She should understand more than anyone if she’s is an essential worker.
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Say what if you get my baby sick. Tell her to quit her job and isolate for 3 weeks then she can see him. Some people are selfish and dont think
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I understand the social distancing but not wanting her in the hospital AT ALL after you gave birth, just sounds very selfish. Family and mother’s are very important, when you’re a grandparent I hope you receive better treatment then you’re giving her. Grandmothers adore their grand babies. At least be compassionate with her and offer other ways for her to be able to see him. FaceTime or chat with her so she can see the baby.
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As a grandma I will never forgive my x son-in-law for not taking me in to see my grandson. You see my daughter had a bad C-section and was in ICU for days he could have taken me to the baby ward so I could at least see and meet him thru window, but no I had to wait for 10 days standing in Hallway and taking care of the other two siblings. Finally when my daughter recovered we met.
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I mean… you literally are purposely keeping the baby away. Also “she’s an essential worker I don’t want my baby around that”? Really? 
I could say a lot but I’ll stop myself.
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DO NOT listen to some of these people. If you feel unsafe, as that child’s mother, you have every right to lay down your boundaries. If the violate it you have every right to reenforce it and be mad. I let my MIL get away with a lot of boundary breaking and it ended very bad because I was guilted by my partner to allow those things. Don’t ever feel bad for refusing to allow something you are uncomfortable with.
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Omg! It is YOUR CHILD NOT HERS. Your mil sounds ridiculous. She wouldn’t be seeing my child again until she could respect ME as my child’s mother- meaning no complaints or whiny tantrums about who I allow around my child for any reason. I am so sorry you have to deal with this; but put your foot down before it gets worse.
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Your husband brought her in anyway??? Girl, your husband needs to set some boundaries with her.
You are doing nothing wrong. Keep those boundaries strong.
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Your baby, your rules. The baby’s health is more important than her selfish demand. Even my parents understood how scary this virus is and were the first to bring up that if I didn’t want my daughter around them during the pandemic, they’d understand.
And for any future child you might have, it is up to YOU and you only on who is allowed in that delivery room. Next time you can tell the staff ahead of time that you don’t want anyone in there but you and your husband. You guys waited 9 months for that baby, that is YOUR time and anyone that wants to interrupt without permission can screw right off.
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Literally the exact same situation here, including the birth. Good luck 
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My mil didn’t see me and the babies till 24plus hours after at which point I was ok. They need to respect your wishes especially with a little one when it comes to exposure
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Advise go to relationship counseling because your dude should have never brought her in when you were in the hospital
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The birth of her grandchild is an important day for your mother-in-law as well. I have 7 grandchildren and was in the hospital for hours waiting on each to be born and was even asked to be in the birthing room with my youngest. I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. As for her being an essential worker, I can understand your initial reaction to this so-called virus, but the curve has been flattened and it’s time to start getting back to real life, even if you do so slowly - have her come see the baby, make sure she uses hand sanitizer and wears a mask, if that makes you feel more comfortable. Otherwise, you are depriving both your child and his grandmother of precious quality time that you won’t ever be able to get back.
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This infuriated me!!! It’s your child your rules…she had her chance! It’s a matter of respect for u. Your husband needs to respect u too. There are plenty of other options for her to be involved. I had issues with my mother in law at first two. With my first son I just asked that she call before she came over to make sure it was convenient and she ran around telling everyone she had to make an appointment. I stood my ground and have continued too throughout the years and she now has more respect even though she might complain at times. You are entitled to the hard feelings and to make your decisions your way. Tell hubby to get on board! But also be reasonable in trying to find ways to include her on ur terms.
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That’s is your baby to protect mother’s in law needs to back off
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My mom’s worked the whole time and I’ve not kept her grandchildren from her.🤷 You don’t have to let them hug and all that shit if you are worried, but a visit in the yard should be ok.
Yeah let’s punish the MIL for being essential. Geez she could die and never lay eyes on her grandchild because of selfishness. As long as MIL wears protective gear I don’t see why not. I love my husband to death and I would never make him choose. His mother means the world to him and it would be like actually throwing a blow out if I excluded her from her grandchild’s life. Cause who knows when this is going away. Probably never so MIL will never get to see her grandbaby if that’s the case.
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Nothing you can do honestly except stand your ground. She is going to act however she acts. You cant change her behavior but you can change how it affects (effects? Idk) you. Water off a ducks back! Quack! Quack!
We are all doing the best we can, ignore the haters. You are doing great fellow mommy!
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What is her essential position? If she is in the hospital caring for patients then I can understand. If you are starting a power struggle then everyone loses? How you treat her is how your child may treat you since day!
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There are a lot of entitled mother in laws/grandmothers on this post. I’m the one pushing the kid out, it’s my choice who gets to be in there. Get over yourself.
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YOU ARE THAT BABYS MOTHER. YOU DONT HAVE TO LET ANYONE MEET HER UNTIL YOU ARE GOOD AND READY. I cant believe all these grandmas bumping their gums talking about its selfish!IF YOU DONT LIKE IT HAVE YOUR OWN BABY.
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I’m so different. Our babies have all had delayed family introductions. With my last birth, we didn’t let my husbands family see the baby for 5 days. I didn’t even tell my parents until the day after I came home from the hospital!
How are you going to feel when you get a grandchild and you get shut out
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It was a month before my mom got to see my girls due to this pandemic because she’s a nurse. Then after so many days my mom asked if she could see them because she hadn’t dealt with anymore covid patients in the 14 day period. Our rules after that have been no kisses 
. Before we saw my mom my munchkins would facetime her and talk to her on the phone all the time. Maybe have MIL facetime the baby just so she can see the baby and talk. It may help her
Good luck. Sounds like if it’s not one thing, it’ll be another. Pick ya battles I guess my advice would be.
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My mother in law went 2 months without seeing our daughter just bcuz she didnt want to risk getting her sick (essential worker). So your mother in law (in my opinion) is being selfish.
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Doesn’t matter what y’all opinions are about COVID… grandma needs to learn boundaries. If mom says no… then that’s the end of it. Period.
Also, your man needs to get on your side. Him bringing her to the hospital when you said no is a fucked up thing to do.
I would never expect my son to put me before his wife… especially when she’s giving birth…
Be the bad guy 🤷 you’re thinking about your baby’s health and safety, if she can’t see that then thats her problem
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She can visit shes grandma
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I’m sorry. Mothers generally stay in the hospital so little time it wouldn’t hurt to give them privacy the first 24 hrs. And people with good sense who may have possibly come in contact with covid should stay away from children and the elderly. That way that child will have the chance to grow up healthy and be around a long time to visit with.
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A lot of people are not seeing family due to covid. Maybe try to update by sending pics or video things like that. And as far as when baby was born I am about to have my fifth and my own mother was there for one because my fiancé couldn’t be and she even wasn’t in room until afterwards, I personally don’t want anyone in when I’m in labor
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Yes your completely right to be hurt about the hospital situation not everyone wants visitors and that is fine. Tell your MIL that once she is quarintined for 2 weeks and tests negative she can see the baby as much as she wants as a essential employee I understand where your coming from it sucks not being able to see family and I miss them but I’m not going to go off on them when they say I can’t come over because I’m an essential worker. Your mil can video chat or do a visit thru the window she doesn’t get to be an entitled dick about a child that’s not hers
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Grandparents are important. I understand trying to protect your child. But statistics say there’s a low risk with children and babies. Take precautions and let her see her grandchild. Remember one day you’ll be in her position. Just my opinion. But you are the mother. It’s ultimately up to you and the father.
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Depends on your relationship- I visit my MIL with my kids all the time. She named my 4th kid and was in the room for my 5th kid. But my family has it takes a village type of vibe.
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It’s your child it’s your business how you care for your son 
move over grandma 
I’m a nana of 7 by the way:hugs:
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Sounds like they have both not respected your wishes in the past and don’t listen to anyone. Your kid, not theirs!
Your child. Your choice. Don’t let others guilt or bully you into anything with YOUR KID. That’s not love.
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I’m sorry. I’m a grandmother and thank God I didn’t have to go through anything like that. That would have really been hard. But your baby has no voice right now. So you have to protect your child regardless of what others think. And if they love the baby as much as you then they wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to the baby. we just have to put the baby’s first.
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I’m not a grandma, so I don’t know where she is coming from, but as a mother and an essential worker, I fully support your decision to keep an infant away from an essential worker. Honestly, COVID is not as bad as they have made it out to be. But it is as bad as they have made it out to be for the young, the old and the immune compromised. With a seven month old, I wouldn’t be taking him around anyone right now.
As for the delivery, I agree and disagree. No matter how you delivered, it’s a private moment and I can understand wanting some rest after going through giving birth and wanting a few minutes alone with the baby that you just carried for 9 months. Your husband was in the wrong there. You both should have decided and agreed on who would be there waiting for AFTER you delivered and we’re situated in your room.
There may be more to the story that we aren’t aware of, but when a mother makes a decision for her child, no matter the age of the child, and that decision doesn’t put the child in harms way, the mother (or fathers) wishes should be honored.
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My daughter who is 5 is not going around anyone outside of household not even my mother for the fact that she is an essential worker. Yes her dad is an essential worker but we live in the same home … I do not feel like I owe explanation to anyone for my decisions when it comes to my child and there health… thank God my mom completely understands… she has my daughters health on her heart! We do driveway visits and FaceTime… hopefully this will pass soon and if not u keep doing what u feel is best… they say a mother knows best for a reason … Do not listen to some of these people!!
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First off. You are not the only one fighting this exact fight. My MIl is essential and IMO in a high risk position. But we recent had this blow out fight over them not seeing their grandson. They finally agreed to a compromise of meet at a park and to keep appropriate distance from us. If possible find a middle ground you are comfortable with. If that cant be done then you are the parent and make the rules for their safety.
I dont agree with this but thats my opinion. I had my man & my mother in law in the same room when I gave birth both times. To each their own.
I totally get not wanting anyone in the room but not sure why you didn’t want her in the hospital AT ALL? As far as not wanting your essential working MIL around I’m guessing no one else in the home or that sees the baby is an essential worker? Because if they are it’s being petty, if they are not then I understand your decision. Make sure you’re keeping her away for the right reason or you will regret it later. I’ve seen several people drive a wedge between their husband and his family for no good reason. Not saying that you are. I’m sure you don’t want to risk your relationship with your husband or your child. I was kept from my dad’s side for no good reason and I resent it. I missed out on another set of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.
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Ring her and explain that you are worried because of her job. Your child your rules end of !! You have the final say. Do not let anyone try to tell you otherwise. Only do what you are comfortable with.
You have the divine right to protect your offspring.
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I’m going to say this once… It is a mother’s responsibility to PROTECT HER CHILD. Period. End of story. It is not selfish. It is called being a parent. Protecting your baby, who has ZERO immunities to really anything in the world yet, is your job as mother. Keep on doing what you’re doing girlfriend. As long as your baby is safe and cares for that is all that matters.
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Tell her she needs to follow your rules and not go behind your back to your husband like MILs do. Then tell your husband to either back you up or he can go live with her.
Bottom line, you’re protecting your child. They either fall in line or get left behind.
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Why are you so hateful towards her? Shes a woman too has the same parts has given birth and raised the kids…she can teach you plenty if you let down your walls and let her in
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Grandmas are very special people…your lucky to have one available dont be so ungrateful what I would do to have a granny for my kids…
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I’m an essential worker and sometimes don’t even go home (healthcare worker). I have an immunocompromised husband and a child at home with asthma. We’ve made it clear that nobody is to be around them until we’re sure they’re clear. It sucks, but I’ve seen covid-19 first hand and what it can do. One of our doctors almost lost his life to it.
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She’ll get over it. You do what’s best for YOUR baby!
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It’s your kid. You have every right to say who can and cannot see him. If she wants to pitch a fit , block her so you don’t have to hear it 
when she decided to grow up and think rationally, let her back in
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There’s nothing wrong with keeping your baby safe. It may be hard in the family but that is your choice. We had my mother in-law quarantine for 2 weeks bedtime she could see our newborn. I just couldn’t risk him getting sick being so young and defenseless.
Everyone posting “she should have… I’m a grandma… etc. Etc.” The sense of entitlement is TOXIC. Your MIL needs to respect your boundaries, hard stop. You can communicate the reasons with your partner and his main priority should be your comfort, health, and safety. No one is entitled to your child. They may not like or agree with your choices, but they need to respect them. For all the Grandma’s, you’re not the mother. You got to raise your children how you saw fit and under different conditions and circumstances. You don’t get to infringe on someone’s parenting experience because you are excited and want to see your grandchild. If you do feel entitled to do that then YOU are wrong and you’re causing a rift in your family. Its selfish, its juvenile and its disrespectful.
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Your child, your rules!!
That’s just like people who dont want their babies around first, second and third hand smoke!!
Stand your ground and stick to your guns!
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See Amanda, I’m not making no comments
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First of all, you have a right not to have your mother in law see your crotch being torn apart by a baby, second, baby health comes first
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I’ve had MIL issues for 12 years girl. Just a few days ago she was blowing up my phone with rude yell-y texts in all caps because I told her I needed space previously (because she’s literally just too much for me 99% of the time) and now we’re trying to schedule a time to talk things over & she will not budge at all on how & when & where this talk is going to be, even though I’ve already compromised about 3-4 times to accommodate her. My only advice would be to continue to put your foot down. He’s your child. She can grow up & deal with it or she can sulk, feel sorry for herself & then pin the blame on you to make herself feel better
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It would be interesting to know if your mom was allowed in the hospital AT ALL. I understand the social distancing issue. Call her and have a conversation about it.
My sister is an essential worker and she keeps her self away from me and my kids… 💁
Your kid your rules… Just keep to yourself .
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