My mother-in-law swears I am trying to keep my child from her: Advice?

It’s pretty obvious you really dislike your MIL. I mean I get the whole delivery part but once your dressed and all is kind of cold. Anyways you should do whatever you feel is right for your child. Regardless if you don’t like her your kids safety comes first. Some people are annoying and this COVID19 thing is a perfect way to keep them away. People that want to see each other find ways to do so. Idk your kid deserves his grammas love too as long as it’s safe.

Well you’re the mother do what you think is best. Why do grand parents think they can control these things? You’re the parent and you need to make that clear they aren’t entitled to anything with it comes to your child


First off he should’ve respected you from the beginning. Delivery is tough enough but as a mom you make ground rules to protect your child period. I’d rather be the bad guy than the mom in the hospital with a sick child. As a mother herself she should respect your choice. This is for your babies safety. It’s not a game and it shouldn’t be an argument. Stay strong

I have a lot of friends who are essential workers for their own children’s sake they stayed away. What kind of grammy would want to hurt her grandchild. My husband and I stayed away from our son and his family cause of his job. It was very hard but his wife was afraid and I understand. Did it hurt yes. But I would of felt even worse if one of us got the virus. These are tough times. U are right in worrying about ur child.

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I’m an essential worker. I work in a hospital. So I dont visit my own kids for this reason. I’ve seen them twice since March. That was for their bday. I love them enough to not expose them.

I’m a grandmother of 6. I didn’t see much of my grandchildren in our lockdown. Only a couple times. I made sure I kept the 1.5 metres safe distance but I wasn’t working as my shops closed cause of the lockdown and only went out for food or to see my fiance as I’m his carer a couple times a week

U want ur kid around germs to be healthier or they will be septical to every things

Well my ex MIL was a toxic narcissist; I’m divorced and still recovering because her apple didn’t fall far from her tree. I did keep my son from her and every time I acquiesced so regretted it. I have made sure that whole family is at a distance. Protect your son. If she can’t wait covid out it’s about her not him. Face Time if she needs a visit.

I am a grandma but your baby your rules hadn’t seen my grandchildren for 12 weeks except at a distance mil needs to cut back

Tell her that you are absolutely thrilled she is excited to see the baby and as a mother, keeping the baby safe and healthy is no malicious intent towards her or anyone else. If she refuses to believe it is any other way then you have no control over that!

For future note if you let your nurses know you don’t want her there they will have her removed until you say it’s ok. She may sit in the waiting room but she will not be in your personal room. If hubby doesn’t like it too bad he’ll get over it or he’ll miss it.

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Was your mother at the delivery? I have been in your MIL’s shoes. I didn’t see my 4th grandson until he was 6 months old. She only wanted her mother there. I understand that, but my son is the Daddy & I wanted to enjoy the 2nd baby they had. She requested I not be there, so I wasn’t…but it sure did hurt my feelings…oh BTW, I’m a nurse & this was before COVID-19

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From the first “I did not want her around after baby’s birth” makes me think this is not just a virus issue, but I don’t know her situation. I personally believe babies can not have too many people love them. One day she will be a grandmother and might ask herself is she would be upset over not being in her grandchild’s life? There are many ways to see and enjoy your grandchildren while virus is active. Technology can have you right there for a visit, picture or video. Yes a hug is best. Now that our state has open up in stage 3 we went to our great-granddaughter’s small birthday party. Had not seen her for 5 months, because she was in day care and we are in our 70’s. PS She was a 1lb 4oz premie, so we learned how important hand washing was.

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Don’t have her around you all or your baby. Not safe. I am a little concerned that you didn’t want her at the hospital at all after you gave birth. Is there something about her you do not like or her for whatever reason. The birth of a grandchild is so special to grandparents. I think there is something going on with your relationship with her. I totally agree with since she is an essential worker no contact with the baby

I am sure she follows guild lines to stay germ free This is that child’s grandma get a grip with life !! woman that do this to there husband mom parents are very insecure grow up she loves that grand child!

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Embarrassing? Ha. My MIL helped bath me after my c-section.

As far as covid19 exposure. I get it. My twins were NICU babies so we are extra cautious. You could try to find some com m.j on ground as a show of good faith. Maybe let her come over for an hour once every 2 weeks. Check temp, wear a mask, wash hands, and if the weather nice make it an outside visit. Tell her to keep her face away as much as possible. And when she leaves, everyone change clothes and sanitize again.

My daughter felt the same way . I was able to self quarantine for 2 weeks prior to seeing grandchildren . Also was tested for covid . A mother has a right to protect her children . Yes we take precautions but this virus is scary and I understand her concern .

My mother wasn’t in the delivery room but my mil was and she gave me such great support im so glad i had her with me she is the best my mom chooses not to be there and to finally get someone that cares for u just as much is amazing she now takes her to her house and keeps her over night or two night whatever she wants and its such great help as i have 4 children 3 from a previous relationship be glad you have some one to help you once you really need it you never know and in a blink of an eye everything changes!

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It sounds to me like it’s a issue between you and your mil not your child and your mil. I would say definitely be careful with visits. But it sounds like there’s been issues between the two of you.


You are not wrong at all. Try doing some Zoom calls or face time to make sure she can see the baby.

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Whenever I read these type of stories I almost always believe there are a lot more issues going on. Probably time to have family counseling intervene.


My parents both work in hospitals, this weekend we met them at dq and had icecream outside( they sat at a different table than us social distancing as well). That was the first time they have seen my kids since this started… and my youngest is 9. Do what you have to and keep your kiddo safe… and don’t feel guilty about it. (Staying away was also something my dad said is important, he said it just isnt worth the risk, and he is a pharmacist)

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I am a mom aunt and hope to be a grandma someday. My family has all waited in the waiting room to meet the new member to be born it was never an issue. To what degree of essential worker is your MIL make your decision but keep your feelings and heart out of it just the facts. Does your husband work outside the house I know daycares are open here.

If he brought her in the room while you were still spread eagle then he was in the wrong there. As for now, I dont blame you for keeping her away if you are keeping the baby from everyone. My husband is a nurse, he straps outside, puts his clothes in the wash and showers before he even tells us hi. But if you guys aren’t staying away from EVERYONE then there’s no use keeping her away from him.

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Your baby your choice! It’s your baby’s health put at risk. Ask her how guilty she would feel if she gave covid 19 to your son and he died? That might put some things in perspective for her.

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Just tell her the true but it’s hard not seeing grand baby if you are use to seeing them everyday even those we are only grandparent we love them more than anything

You sound selfish and controlling and you are using your child to control husband and mother in law ,I have a daughter in law just like you my grandson is 9 now and she is still playing that game,and I’m the only grandparent, just hurtful, hateful

My DIL had her baby in April. She would not allow my BIL to even visit until he stopped traveling around and self isolate for fourteen days. Finely he was allowed to visit with his first grandchild, a boy.

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Sounds like you’re the bad guy to me. She is your husbands mother and deserves to be just as involved as your mother. The hospital situation was ridiculous. I could see her not being in there while you’re pushing your baby out but there’s no reason she couldn’t come shortly after.

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Have her wear a mask. Get over the hospital visitation thing. She is his grandmother…how can having a grandparent who loves this baby be such a threat to you? Grow up . You are not trying to protect your baby…you are protecting your power.

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I think it was sad you didn’t allow her to see her grandchild when it was born. Being an essential worker I’m sure she would’ve had all her protection gear on. The baby being home I agree the baby should not be exposed to anyone outside the home.

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I agree you should keep a distance for now. She as an essential worker should understand

Always the same if you have sons you have to stand back if it’s a daughter there is no problem I know been there had the tee shirt but I agree with the visiting at the moment with what’s going on with the virus but remember it’s the child that suffers in the end your mother in law has as much rights as your mother to bond with the baby :cry:

Sounds like you are you need to realize grandmothers are so excited with a new grandbaby and it really hurts them to not be allowed to be there for the birth

MIL would have to accept how you are handling the health concerns, in order to protect the family household. You have to stand your ground, no matter who’s feelings it hurts. This too shall pass.

Question: do you treat mother in law the same as your mother? Treat them equal so if your mom or any family member on your side doesn’t come around then she needs to respect that. Right the baby is too small. Communication is a must learn to use the power of the word with kindness.

Both me and my husband are essential workers. When Covid started we knew the risks and no matter how painful it was we stayed away from our grandbabies. And guess what…we both came down with Covid. I spent 8 days in the hospital and still recovering. If we would have been selfish we would have seen our grandbabies and passed something to them. These are tough times for families but i have no doubt there will be a vaccine. I refuse to be selfish by insisting to see my grandbabies. Use facetime or whatever you have to let your MIL see her grandbaby. Send pictures daily. Our kids do that and is it ideal…no. But we all will get through this. This is here to stay just like the flu. There will be a vaccine and things will get somewhat back to normal.

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Stand your ground and have a talk with your husband as to why it’s very important to you. Your mil should understand

Grandparents have rights and this sounds like a personal issue …

Were your parents allowed at the hospital? If yes, then I can understand why she feels left out. I would have felt the same way. I understand keeping her separate now, but hopefully you are doing things that allow her to see the baby digitally or through a window. Build the bridge now because the longer the rift and hurt feelings persist, the easier it becomes to not fix things.

There are many, many ways to video chat so you have other options now. Try one.

Skype call her with the baby like daily. Itll show her your making an effort. I think theres a lot of people out there thinking coronavirus isnt real, but as a mother I wouldn’t risk it either. She’ll come around

Sounds more like your using corona as an excuse, If you didnt even want her in the hospital when you gave birth SEVEN months ago before this all started

Yep your the problem sounds like you don’t like the mil for whatever reason get over it she is the grandmother

Sounds like you are the problem

Your child, your laws.

Have a heart to heart talk with her. I’m sure she’ll understand. I would.

I was in the delivery Room for my grandson’s birth I was the in law it was the best thing I had ever done to see him brought into this world a child my son helped create, dont hurt the mother in laws feeling need to remain on good terms for the child’s sake

She’s neither petty or a jerk! There is NO WAY IN HELL I would have let my MIL at either of my kids birth. She stresses me out on a normal day, let alone then!