My mother in law is the literal worst…and i have no idea hwo to handle it anymore…she constantly texts my husbands phone “remember not to leave your debit card with (me) and be sure you dont leave your wallet lying around the house”…we have been marrid for 3 years and sometimes i feel like i am not good enough for him and she hates me for no reaosn…my husband and i have a great relationship but sometimes i feel like his mother is in his head a little and he really does not trust me even though i have bever given either of them a reason not too…she is super nice to my face though, just apparently talks badly about me to my husband only…and he never defends me either…like what do i do
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother in law tells my husband not to trust me
Yeah, my husband would never tolerate this.
He needs to set his mother straight. Like yesterday
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Does he have any idea about your feelings with this?
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Husband needs to tell mom it’s none of her business. She’ll stop when he puts his foot down.
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My daughter’s in laws do this all the time, it’s bloody hurtful and he says nothing, sly messages the lot. Pull her and him up. Good luck, my heart is with you.
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It’s none of your business what anyone else thinks about you. Her feelings about you are not his feelings about you. Quit feeding into her negativity
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Stop reading the messages then.
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If he’s stupid enough to believe her, then you be smart enough to leave.
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Absolutely. He needs to set boundaries asap. This would never be tolerated in my household.
I have 
access to everything I’m my home. Including my husband’s wallet. If not he ain’t my husband anymore. They can both kick rocks. She’s needs to stay in her lane immediately or end this relationship. It far too toxic 
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Should meet my monster in-law 
save up move out or just say nothing
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stop looking in his phone 
but he also needs to make a decision, his wife or his mommy.
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He’s not a man if he’s not sticking up for his wife. You’re his wife and as such he needs to defend you and protect you
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Confront her about it in front of him. Don’t wait for him to do it bc it’s not gonna happen.
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Defend yourself…tell her to bleep off, and if he don’t like it…too bad…
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You need too tell your husband that his mother is not married to him… He needs too tell her too stop this now before it comes between you and your husband.
She’s obviously doing it too stir up trouble…
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Call her out if he wont
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Txt her back sorry I stole your son but I left it at that
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You NEED to say something to her!!! Your husband NEEDS to stop acting like a lil boy!
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Confront her in front of him and put an end to the torture. Get it out in the open.
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I’d confront her on her behavior in front of your husband.
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i would get a nice hefty saving account just in your name and them let your husband know you love him but you can not tolerate the disrespect from your monster in law or his lack of respect for you as his wife and he would either have to stand up to his mother or lose his marriage and follow thru
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I have one word for her but i cannot say or ill get blocked for being a bully 
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You need to confront both of them for this. Or it will never go away !
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I had that problem for almost 8 years married. I finally stood up to them and showed them I am NOT going any where, 21 years married now, so now I am a trusted member. My husband in the beginning was such a mama’s boy he would listen to her and not back me. Eventually he saw what was happening and backed me after. Now I am not afraid of “reviews” of any kind. Stand up to them both and tell him to man up or move. He is your husband and should act as such.
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You have to take care of yourself, been there done that. It sucks because it never should have to get to that point but I’ve also learned, he’s kinda in a hard spot between you and her.
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He needs to shut her down wtf. Why hasn’t he? I would tell him, handle it or I am and you might not like the results.
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He needs to be the one defending you. If he won’t, things likely won’t get better. Maybe try marriage counseling. Because maybe an unbiased 3rd party could help him see his mother’s insidious influence for what it really is, and give him advice on how to cut the umbilical cord.
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Sounds like moma wants all his money
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My ex husband never had my back when his family talked badly about me. I couldn’t handle it, I deserved the respect, and so do you! His mom wouldn’t be talking about you to him if he didn’t allow it.
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My husbands mom is the same way and caused probs running her mouth for no reason getting in our relationship etc. I got tired of it and stopped trying!!! We DO NOT have a relationship at all and I’m OK with it. We have 5kids and She has not seen my kids in omg like 8+yrs besides pictures on Facebook lol and has not met our two youngest babies ages 4&2. I married him not his mom and if she can’t respect me or my marriage then 
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You throw the whole family out, that’s what you do. I understand she’s his mother and she is ‘trying to protect her son’ but she is out of line and he is also for not putting her in her place. Your husband is a bitch! If someone in my husbands family was badmouthing me for zero reason, he’d cut them off. I’d do the same for him. We’re partners. We’re a team. Unless there is a valid reason, no one, and I mean NO ONE is gonna talk shit on my spouse, especially to me! I say call both of them out, to their faces!
I mean. How’s their relationship? Does he feed into it or ignore it? My MIL literally told my husband that so&so says he was her first love and that she’s available to date now that her husband passed away—my husband didn’t say anything. Which upset me-but I know he never says anything to her regardless. Maybe a “happy birthday” occasionally, but he hasn’t seen her in 3 years or a real conversation in the same. So it was pretty easy to get over her message. It’s not a fight to have
“Why didn’t you defend me”
Him”I don’t talk to her?” Lol
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Give him back to her!
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If he isn’t standing up for you you’re married to basically a grown child. He put vows down to be with you. To let anyone even his mother disrespect you is to go against those. You don’t deserve that from either. I’d talk to him. And be like this is where I stand and it’s not okay. Cause eventually it will cause bigger issues
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How doesn’t the husband not say anything ??? If that was my mother saying that about my wife she wouldn’t see me again until she changed her tune ……
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He shld be telling her to shut it… she probly wants his 
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Glad I’m not the only one that has a hateful mother in law, I don’t even call it mother in law she is his mom and thats it … she don’t come around my home and I don’t go to hers she hasn’t met my daughter who was born in January and had only seen my son maybe twice and he’s 2 yrs old i don’t care either way… maybe u should confront her and see what she has to say bet she will start back pedaling
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Your mother in law doesn’t have to like you, but your husband should defend you and put a stop to her nonsense. If he can’t treat you the way you deserve, leave. You deserve someone who will stand up for you in public and private.
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I don’t know my mother in law 
I’d speak up to her. Defend yourself since your husband won’t. Even do it in front of him.
She’s a manipulator and she’s gotten in his head that much I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t broken your marriage up… Speak up to her tell her to F off and tell her husband he needs to start putting her back in her place. She is not HIS WIFE. She needs to stop acting like she’s in this relationship with you two. She’s putting HER insecurities onto her son. How patheitc.
I find it SO FRICKEN WEIRD when mothers are like this with their sons. Like overly obsessive. Like get your own man and life 
bout time your husband got off his mothers nip nops in my eyes…
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Front her with it in front of your husband. Ask her why nicely although my thought is you stole her little boy
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I’d speak up to her. Defend yourself since your husband won’t. Even do it in front of him.
She’s a manipulator and she’s gotten in his head that much I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t broken your marriage up… Speak up to her tell her to F off and tell your husband he needs to start putting her back in her place. She is not HIS WIFE. She needs to stop acting like she’s in this relationship with you two. She’s putting HER insecurities onto her son. How patheitc.
I find it SO FRICKEN WEIRD when mothers are like this with their sons. Like overly obsessive. Like get your own man and life bout time your husband got off his mothers nip nops in my eyes…
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This is a HUGE red flag!! I hope you don’t have kids yet cause she see you as nothing more than a means to an end… a “breeder” (I’ve been called that by a few 
) and the not feeling good enough… that’s the vibe AND HOW SHE REALLY FEELS ABOUT YOU! Don’t ignor that! This “planning seeds” is worry some cause HE COULD CHOOSE TO LISTEN 
smh been here myself and when I say red flag!! So so many!! Very toxic family dynamic and mommy seems to be the root of it 
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Give him an ultimatum cuz I’m sorry but this shit is just going to continue he doesn’t respect you as an equal…… i also would’ve called her out on her fake ass shit!
You are the “other woman” in her sons life. (Very sick)
Mention it to her in front of hubby. Dont allow it to go on any longer.
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Oh I can relate to this and I can tell you when your out of ear shot he’s tattling to his mom and if he wasn’t he would be telling her to stop in front of you
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Pull her up about what she is msg him and ask her what her problem is. It’s not worth her letting her come between you as that’s what she wants especially if you have a good relationship with hubby.
Keep her at arms length and tell husband to grow a backbone and defend you!
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Sit your husband down and have a heart to heart conversation with him about all of it. Also about y’all’s future. Communication is a key to a successful relationship. God bless.
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She is jealous of you and love he has for, don’t let the b get to you
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I stood up for myself and nothing happened. Everyone in my husband’s family gives his mom the same excuse… “that’s just how she is.” She passive aggressive to me to the worst extent, has screamed at me in my face and even when I was holding my son on his first birthday, and is just all around mean to me. I stopped talking to her. Idgaf what someone is to you… blood, friend, acquaintinces, etc… it doesn’t matter because TOXIC IS TOXIC. She’s clearly toxic to you and your relationship and your husband is supporting her abuse towards you. Me personally I would go no-contact with her and tell him you don’t care how he feels about it because it’s not him taking her abuse. In my personal experience they don’t change no matter what. My husband’s mother had many chances and blew every one of them. I wouldn’t bother trying anymore. And if you have kids, seeing them is a privilege, not a right, and she should be made aware of that as well.
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Control control control…I hope your mil chokes on it
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Give him back to his mommy. Trust me not only is he not defending you, he is where she gets some of these ideas about you. She just makes them worse in his head
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He probably has mentioned to his mom that you spend money on frivolous things! Hens the mention of his debit card.
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hes in a relationship with his mom, you’re the extra in whatever sick game they have going…
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confront her and then leave his sorry childish arse
Your husband should absolutely be taking up for you! That is absurd. He is not backing his wife.
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My ex’s father was elderly with dementia and used to follow me when we stayed at their house, he used to check on me when I was in the room to make sure I wasn’t stealing anything and would always check everything after we left. That was his dementia that made him like that so as much as I hated it I didn’t let it get to me. Maybe she’s suffering similar? If this isn’t the case then your husband needs to defend you full stop or maybe even you confront her with it.
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Monster-In-Law Support
Get out now don’t put yourself through any more… she will win and he will bail home to Mummy eventually anyways so better off getting him gone… just got ditched by the Mummy’s boy I had for 6 years he run back to hide behind mummy’s skirt as soon as he realised he wasn’t going to turn me into her and I dealt with everything you explained plus much more from his witch of a mother and he didn’t have the gonads to stand up to her either… and not to mention he spent 6 years claiming my kids and filling them with fairytales and lies too and destroyed them…give him back to her let her deal with her own issue she created…
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My husband would never let his mom disrespect me like that ! Wen she says things that aren’t ok he call her out quick . And I do the same . He don’t love you
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Oh hell no!!! Hit her up. Ask her what her problem is. I understand we need to respect our MILs but not when she’s blatantly disrespecting you. Be respectful and tactful in the way you confront her. Don’t be aggressive. Don’t give her more “ammo”. She needs to be put in her place!
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Shower them with all the love you have and thank her for making you “feel so trustworthy”. Prove them wrong, but only if you plan to stay and change their behavior. Be the bigger person and even ask for your home to be blessed by a priest or by the church she goes to. I’m not 1 to give up so that’s what I would do. Wish you luck as every person is different.
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It’s bad enough that your mil is talking crap about you, it’s even worse that you’re husband isn’t defending you. He should be telling his mother that his money is your money and vice versa. And that you’ve never given him a reason not to trust you. It’s sad that he’s just allowing her to talk about you like that.
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Oh you are SWEET! you have PATIENCE… I WOULD HAVE EATEN HER ALIVEEEEEE
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I’ve dealt with that. Mine didn’t stop.
Leave the mommas boy let him have his mommy go find a man
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Fck him if he has no sack. I don’t know if you spend every dime of his hard earned money or not. But if he won’t defend you - who needs a man like that IF she’s wrong?
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I’ve been in the same boat. She convinced him that I would make him go broke. But karmas a B, she stole $8,000 from him and took off. Lmao
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My advice, just leave and let him learn the hard way for trusting people who are known to manipulate and steal.
I’m so sorry you dealing with this. One I would have gone off on the mil and two by this point I would be telling my husband you need to pick her or me if it’s me you stand up for me and our relationship or this is over. I am no one’s door mat to walk all over.
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Husband should put her in her place. She keeps saying stuff like this because he is allowing it.
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Maybe she wants his $$$?
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Gosh is she single? She’s probably jealous. Tell her to get her own boyfriend 
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It’s because she is jealous that you are entitled to those things and she wants to control what material things benefit you. My mother in law is the same, she just manipulates different ways and has her hand out to make sure she benefits as much as his family does it’s despicable.
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Ignore her and kill her with nice
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He needs to tell her off or it won’t stop.
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Can i ask you how do you know that shes talking about you like this? If your 100 per cent sure she is talk to her.
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Omfg you poor women…so mother in law speaks badly of you and husband isn’t defending you…that be enough for me I’m affraid I be long gone.
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Question your husband why he doesn’t defend you. Although I bet I know why! He is scared of mammy and a real mammys boy 
in that case tell him to grow a pair! As for the monster in law, I’d confront her face to face. Ask her out for lunch. Ask her why she talks bad about you. Bring screenshots with you as proof so she can’t deny it! I’d make an absolute show of her!
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I would be saying something and putting her in her place. If she doesn’t learn then I’d bounce. How can you be with a man so trapped under his mothers thumb that he lets her disrespect you.
No one has time for that.
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It maybe just a mum protecting her boy from getting used and hurt again as he may possibly been treated that way by previous partners it maybe not be personal hun
I’d ask to meet for a coffee or drink with the MIL and ask her why and get to the bottom of if ask if that’s how others have treated him and reassure her it’s ok and that your not like them and cant be judged like them x
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How can the relationship between you and him be great if he doesn’t trust you?! he need to seat her down and have a serious conversation with her and ask her to stop; if he can’t do that start packing your bag.
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If he doesn’t defend you them kick his ass to the curb
Just leave. I went through this already. Get a divorce it will get worse
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she sounds a typical narcissist whos jealous that her golden child has another womans affections–tell her to go far away on her broomstick
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Tell your husband he needs to grow some balls and stand up for you his wife, he’s acting like a little boy not a man.Yes he is to respect his mother but in no way let her carryon disrespecting you or he might aswell marry his Mum😡
Did he have a relationship before you in which the person gave him and his mom reason not to trust?
So she’s bad mouthing you to your husband & he’s telling you?? There’s your problem right there!!!
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I went through this myself but it was his grandma… she’d tell him while I was in the other room to keep the money on him at all times and for me not to touch it. Thinking I couldn’t hear. And it was said EVERY TIME WE WERE VISITING HER! We were married and I never asked him for money unless I didn’t have money and we absolutely needed something like toilet paper or laundry detergent, etc. when I wasn’t working, I’d barely ever ask for gas money just so I could actually go visit my own family and if I did ask, I only asked for $5 in gas (I had an Aveo) and $5 could get me two towns away to see my dad and back… that crap ticked me off so bad. Im not the type to keep up with nails done or hair done or tanning, or buy myself new clothes I never did those. Im lucky to get my hair done once every 2 years and I haven’t had my nails done since I was 17- im 27. A lot of my clothes were clothes I have had since high school. But for some reason, in her eyes and the rest of his families eyes, I was money hungry lol cause I ask for a whopping $5 in gas once a month to see my own family for a change when i was a stay at home mom lol. Ridiculous.
Speak up on it! It won’t stop if you don’t! 
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If he’s not on your side then leave him with his mommy. It’s so not worth the battle.
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It’s awful that she does that, but trust me if that’s the only issue…she’s not the worst. The stories I could tell. I’d sit him down and speak very directly to him about it. I’d ask if he trusted me and if not, why. I’d tell him that I expect him to address this with his mother in defense of you. That’s manipulative and undermining your relationship. I’d also talk to her myself about it. I’d take her out somewhere on common ground in public and confront her head on. I’d be direct but not aggressive and tell her how I felt. If someone hurt him in the past, I’d assure her that I wasn’t going to do the same and let her know we’re on the same team. If it continued, I’d let her know that it’s unacceptable and ask her right in front of him why she’s trying so hard to make an enemy out of you. Hopefully it can be resolved with getting it out in the open. That’s where I went wrong…many many years ago.
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If her hubby truly loved her, he’d stand up to his mother, and tell her to shut the fuck up.
Send him back home to mummy
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Have a conversation with him. Let him know how it makes you feel. Tell him it makes you feel that having a divorce is better than being treated like crap and him not having your back.
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Mine hates me for no reason too. Feels like a losing battle.
Run and don’t look back
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Talk to him, make a change in your marriage or leave
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Girlll I’m I literally go the the exact same it’s been 2 years I been with him tho and his mom use to always get in his head 
but he gotta stand up for you and just tell his mom not to say shit about you at all since she’s so negative and I just don’t talk to his family at all I washed my hands with my fiancé people and we both chose not to let our mothers have a say in our relationship so I don’t talk about his mom at all and I don’t care to hear about her