My ex monster in law hated me because I had a pulse
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You have to say something to him or your marriage is in serious trouble…
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Call her out!! Tell her you know that she is saying these things to your husband behind your back and you want to know why! In my experience, the only way to stop someone from doing something like this is to confront them. See what she has to say for herself.
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I know the feeling. He needs to not listen to her sit her down if he loves u he will if he doesn walk away asap. It wil only drive ur mental health mad thinking your the bad one when in fact ur not. She trying to come between ye.
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If he doesn’t defend you then you shouldn’t have married the man or stayed three years. It’ll never stop either.
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He’s obviously said something about an issue with money for her to keep texting him about it. This needs addressing with him, he should not be discussing your relationship with her. Different generations and values don’t mix .
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Tell your husband to man up and tell his mother to butt out!
I know how to solve this … tell your husband he either needs to defend you or your leaving
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Run away. It’s one thing to have crappy in laws, it’s a whole other issue if your spouse doesn’t support you and make decisions and boundaries with you. You’re supposed to be a team.
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Did you ever hear the saying “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” Same concept. Your husband should be sticking up for you and shutting that shit down. End of story.
Shame on him, he should always be on your side. Leave him to his mommy
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He should set firm boundaries with her, and make sure she understands that disrespect won’t be tolerated. Anytime I have an issue with my husband’s family, he takes care of it.
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you arnt married to her . if she doesnt respect you you cannot change her. It is up to your husband to grow a pair and stand up for you.Try to stay away from her
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Is she like this in every way at life - distrustful and cautious? If so, then It’s just the way it is and you have to understand that it is not towards only you. You have to explain to her that you are family though and that this is not acceptable behaviour towards a family member.
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Did you marry him or her? Get a back bone and confront her, otherwise sit down. He will always love his mother more then you. Sorry but true, it’s his mother. Maybe the reason why he doesn’t say anything to her is because he is going with the flo and just keeping peace. Did you get in his phone and read the texts? Or did he tell you? Sounds like there is more to the story then your telling.
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Sounds like he is a Mommy’s boy…
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Girl, I don’t like mine either. Try a woman with munchausen by proxy, control issues, ocd issues, and type A personality. You HAVE HAVE HAVE to stick up for yourself periodddddd. Tell her what’s up.
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Text her back one day. Tell her to mind her own effin business. Take your husband aside, and set some boundaries.
Remind him, you didn’t marry his mom,
You married him. Grow a pair. If there’s anything he’d like to address, address it.
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Tell husband to stand up for you, by accepting what she says even if he doesn’t believe it is just adding fuel to her comments and get him to give you his card in front of her telling you do get something for yourself and he trusts you not to overspend; do you not have a joint account? xx
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Based on what she is texting to your son, I feel like your son has said something to his mom about you and money. She has no reason to be reminding him to guard his wallet and cards. You’re mad at the wrong person
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Give him an ultimatum. Either he defend you to his mother or you will confront her in front of him. Take pictures or screenshots of his phone and show her exactly what you are talking about. Because she will play dumb.
Then file for divorce and tell his mommy she’s in charge of his debit card now. Because he’s not going to change.
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How do you know he’s not defending you if he is telling you what she says and she doesn’t say these things around you? Sounds to me like she might have some kind of mental illness.
My ex mother in law was the same. 22 years I tolerated her & him. He’s just like her just more covert about it. He talked bad about me to his family…no wonder they hated me. He’s a narcissist. I wish you luck.
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Tell mummys boy its not ok, then out right ask MIL what her issue is
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Ask her what’s the problem and let her know you see and hear about everything she says.
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Take screenshots of her text messages with your phone and confront her in from of your husband the next time you get to see her
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So happy that I have an awesome mother in law…Love her very much
Why are you still married if he doesn’t have the balls to defend you
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tell her your husband go sck a dck and same to th mother 
I highly recommend reading the book, “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud
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There is nothing you can do.
Gutsy people ‘punch you in the face’
Spineless people stab you in the back.
And unfortunately, if someone has been too spinless, or too disloyal, and is manipulated into not defending you, best thing is to walk. Even better, run.
I would just laugh at her if y’all are happy …
Then take her to lunch on his debit card…
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Good luck you will always choose her… run
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I can relate, its a no win situation just because its his mother. Its not your place to have to tell him to defend you that’s something he should do automatically. Try to maintain some sort of peace if you want your marriage to last because once that is broken its kind of hard to repair relationships with mother n laws after a disagreement or argument of some sort. You can only do so much to win people over and you shouldn’t have to go out of your way to be accepted. You shouldn’t have to prove yourself to anyone other than to your husband he should know whether or not he can trust you with or without access or management of finances. Always go to God first pray about it hope it works out for you. God Bless…
Confront both of them
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Confront them !!! Straight up !!! You deserve better. It will only get worse and you will suffer !!! You are strong you are beautiful know your worth xxx
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has HE maybe been in her ear with lies too? strange that she would be so specific about the money…
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Unfortunatly there are quit a lot of them.It’s hard to change his mind from what his mother feeds his mind with.2 options ,either leave as sometimes it gets worse or ignore her as much as possible.
The real question is, does he not trust you with money? Whay did he say about you to make her think that you are there for his money? She can have an opinion about you and that won’t change and her having an opinion is not the problem. The issue is, is he feeding into it.
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The bigger concern here is why does your MIL feel comfortable enough to say those things to your husband about you?? I’m sorry lovely but if he can’t be man enough to defend your honor, you need to bounce.
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Ask her out right, what is the problem and if your husband sticks up for his mother ask him why did you marry me if he doesn’t answer what you want to hear am afraid you have a mummy’s boy who isn’t going to let go .
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I say the same thing as moira . Confront them both !!! If you don’t like the answers or their bs they say which they probably will . Run and take half of everything that’s what they get .
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Get out while you can, trust me. It only gets worse
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I would have to call her out
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Why are you still with him?? He is the best definition of a “mama’s boy” that I’ve ever seen and you need to run as quick as you can…it will NEVER get better!!
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He needs to get her straight and stand up for you
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Why even get married? This behavior has obviously been going on since you were dating and you ignored the signs.
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Well unless he starts defending you leave him
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I had an ex mother inlaw like this!! From day dot she hated me. We tried to bond and was doing okay. Then she kicked us out after her boyfriend wanted us out and she hated me from then on because “I took her little boy away”. She would act super nice to my face, then nasty behind my back. Then she became nasty towards me once I began ignoring her. 7-8 years I spent with that bs. It was so hostile. My boyfriend (who was fiance for 2 years) wouldn’t stand up for me either. Glad to have him long gone!!!
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Just fair warning it only gets worse. My EX MIL was the same way! CONSTANTLY told my EX husband I was cheating on him, NEVER did in the 18 yrs we were married but he did 3 times and she knew. She would tell him I was stealing pills and $ from her house, NEVER did either but he did though! She told him and his sisters that I tried to kill her when she came with a PIC line and IV meds due to an infection that kept her in the hospital over a month! Said I caused the infection, in reality she got bit by a bug and was diabetic and let the bite go for over 2 wks BEFORE going to the Dr. I could go on and on but after struggling with infertility I FINALLY got pregnant with my son. She immediately said it wasn’t his and caused me sooo much stress that my BP was soo high. My OB said leave or I would be delivering a premature baby who wouldn’t live! I packed my bags and NEVER looked back! My son is 6 now and it’s been over 2 yrs of NO contact whatsoever with my EX or any of his family! I’m sorry but you deserve better!
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How do you know what she says in text messages to HIM?
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It will never get better. Even if he defends you or confronts her she is still his mother. It will never change. You will just have resentment years later. I’m sorry but leave or get a divorce. It will only get worse.
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You are an adult who is supposed to be married to an adult so why are you letting 2 adults disrespect you in such a way???
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Time for a family meeting. Your feeling r valid n she needs to b confronted.
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If he doesn’t have your back 100% to his mom then leave him with his mama
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You need to talk with him and find out how he feels about the situation then you need to confront her in front of him cause he shouldn’t allow her to disrespect you and if he don’t pack ya stuff
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I has same problem…she’s a bitch inlaw…my husband was a mommy’s boy til the day he died and she kept his remains
I agree with all the reply’s
He should be a husband and stand up for you his wife
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My husband would never let nobody disrespect me, and not his family nor my family or anybody…man, woman, stranger, he doesn’t care. You as his wife comes first. Also his money is none of her business…
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Let him go live with Mama
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Ask him why he lets his mother disrespect the two of you? Obviously she thinks low of you but I’d throw in she also thinks he’s dumb too. Look she’s a cancer to your marriage and you need to be more proactive about removal. Someone like this isn’t going to change until they have consequences and even then she may double down. Im serious every time she says that crap I’d point out how little she thinks of him. And also marriage counseling and don’t bring any kiddos into this clusterfuck until you’ve figured out if you got a man or a mommas boy. Be the bigger bitch. Own the fact that she does t like you. If she says things in person call her on it. Like man she really thinks her son is stupid to marry a “bad person” and doesn’t that call into question her parenting skills. But I’m petty like that.
Id tell her where to shove it . how dare she. And he needs to defend you. 🤦🏼♀
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I’d have a problem with him not defending his wife. I’d also confront her even though I hate confrontation. You are his wife…
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Mil is Linda for the purpose of this comment, I would say “Ua know what Linda, maybe it’s you that is not to be trusted. Have a guilty conscience do ya?! A little deflecting dear? Sit down and get out of my marriage!”
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If he doesn’t trust you then why be married to him think it’s time to sit down and talk to him
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If he isn’t defending you he’s down with her ,get rid of him
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I stopped going around my mother in law Best decision I ever made
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The way I see it is, if he doesn’t defend you now, he never will. Spent a long time with my ex not defending me when it came to his mother, it never got better and is one of the reasons he’s my ex.
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You took her baby away and she’s jealous.Remember moma’s boy,always. After you marry,your supposed too become one.His moma should step back. Address her,tell her you love her son and you have no plans of doing him wrong so she needs to STOP.
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I had this before ugh bless your heart it’s not easy dealing with the bs…
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You should require more of your husband…when it comes to still being a mama’s boy!!
Tell him to stand up for you when you are not there to do it! He should have your back if not why be married!
And if he doesn’t then stand your ground and talk to her yourself. It will just get mentally harder on you the longer you wait! I hope your okay 
I get it.
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A very toxic situation. Perhaps some counselling for you and your husband might help him confront his lack of backbone.
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I would leave…your husband married you not his mother
if he is truly listening to her & doing everything she sys to him, then I would leave him, If he is just listening to her & not doing as she says, then there really isn’t a problem, She is his mother, no matter what you say, I won’t say anything bad about my daughter’s MIL with everything she says to me, which is so unbelievable, My daughter wants me to tell her husband, but I won’t, She ;s not my problem & it is still his mother, I don’t want him to choose, that is wrong, So I just haven’t gone anywhere near whatever is going on with the family, if she is there, I just don’t need all of her drunken negatively
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i would talk to him about it n if he dont change id get out
I can tell you this much for her to feel that comfortable texting him those things and him not defending you probably means that he talks about you the same way to her so it’s time to put those big girl panties on and have a sit down conversation
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What a little tiny boy you have married 
a real man would of told his MOTHER TO SHADDDUP ALREADY!!! Mind your business…old lady!!!
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Let him go home to his mommy and find a better relationship
I couldn’t be with a man couldn’t defend idc, he should be defending you with or without your presence.
What did he tell her. There is a reason why she thinks the way she does
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She maybe like that because he told her something that is causing that reaction and that is why he is not defending you. Be cautious! Plan accordingly.
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Your husband needs to be your partner and tell his mom to knock it off. Not standing up to her is only giving her space to think it’s acceptable behavior.
He needs to tell her that it’s disrespectful and hurtful to BOTH of you.
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Oh hell no. He needs to tell her to stop.
Sounds like your husband has had some conversations with her, about things you’re unaware of.
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Leave you’ll just be miserable and tell him why your leaving and see what he does
He’s told her some thing to have her feeling that way. You need to have a face-to-face conversation with him about what he’s told her because that’s why she feels that way about you.
Leave him. He won’t even defend you? Seems like a waste of time bc eventually this will come to a head.
Toxic confront each allegation stating remember 1 week detention for undue stress drama and childish confrontation. Your man must enjoy or in denial if true Love
Three is a crowd. Tell MIL you know what she is saying because her son betrays her by telling you what she says behind your back! (Build a wall of distrust of your own)! Tell her your aware of her 2 faced attitude and it will not be tolerated. If she doesn’t stop, the two of you can always move far away and she will be “froze out” of your family. Should any grandkids come along, you will teach them that she is a horrible individual because of her conniving ways to divide and try to break up your marriage. Tell her you will use the same tactics she is using, with your children. You will make it your mission to teach them about her and alienate them from her. She had better straighten up and fly right, or she will be shunned. Stand your ground!!! I had a MIL, that was a controlling old bitty like that. The best defense, is a good offense to deal with someone like that.
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Give him an ultimatum your mother or me in this marriage it’s me and you there’s no place for a 3rd one see how he reacts and made your decision
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I have to same as a few others, he has said something to her regarding this for her to text these things. Regardless, time to sit down and talk to him and lay it on the line. There are TWO people in your relationship, not THREE. If it doesn’t stop quickly, I’d be out. It will not get any better or change if he doesn’t want it to.
Call her out on it. He evidently isn’t sticking up for you
I would confront her in front of him. She clearly has her own issues and demons to deal with. What really is her underlying issue with you? Only you can find this out. If you all don’t have children already please have this candid conversation before they arrive as the behavior will only get worse and she will become more controlling. Not because she wants to because she is losing her son and doesn’t know how to deal with it. YOU not your husband needs to set boundaries because your husband will always down play it rather than dealing with it head on. Stand your ground as this is your family now.
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My first word would have been cayatez
If he isn’t going to put a stop to this and allows his mother to talk about you while not defending you at all, leave. It sounds like your marriage is between 3 people, not just 2.
I think he lost his testicles and is a mamas boy
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Toxic. He’s either spoken to her poorly about you or she’s a narcissist mother or other type of toxic or both things are true. In either case, it’s a lose lose for you. MIL needs to be confronted and cut off, if there’s kids in the mix, She WILL undermine you and fosters the same distrust and carry on the same dynamics with grandkids as they get older just like she’s doing with her ADULT son. I’m an MIL too and two grand babies. Listen if I ever had the audacity to say anything like that to my married son about his wife , he will disown me, I would be cut off and not be able to have a relationship with my son, his wife and my grandsons. As they should. Toxic is toxic family or not. Her behavior calls for her to be cut off, at very least, cut off until your husband and you get therapy and you get behind what is truly going on and figure out if you’re sleeping with the enemy. You deserve to know so you can prepare accordingly.
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