Stop buying those things for him, put that money back and move.
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If you want out youâll find a way. Youâre being used if he isnât even trying. See if your sister would keep you other child and see about finding you & the kids a place to stay. My MIL was the same way bad mouthing me⌠and then I found out years later my ex bad mouthed me in her presence. Heâs in the after life now and sheâs probably running hell as we speak. Get out honey!!!
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What the hell is your mother in law doing while you work?
2 families can not live together. And sounds like he isnt trying to be a dad and provider. You need to check about getting assistance and getting out on your own. He has had plenty of time to adjust and become a man.
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Ok letâs break this down
1Your work and make all the money
2 he watches one child only while your sister watches the other most days
3 you have to let him rest after you work a 12 hour shift 7 days a week
4 you buy him cigarettes, weed and porn
Um shes right you are not a normal wife . A normal wife would not have put up with any of this bullshit.
You dont need him or them , take your kids and go .
His mother shouldve raised her son to he out busting his but with u. I would totally be done if I were u. Your doing it alone anyhowâŚ
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Why canât he get a job to help yâall move out? Youâd think that would be the goal
You work and he doesnât but you canât afford to leave? Bet he uses your $$$ for his habits. Leave and youâll have tons more.
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Why do you have daycare costs if heâs not working? Itâd be bye for me. Youâre doing all the work now anyways 
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Behind every lazy mam is normally a mother in law that is upset even a man she canât motivate is being held accountable. Move on and spare yourself the trouble with that family. One of the reasons yall been at his mama house for 3 years is because he wants to be there. Motivated and accountable men work hard for their family. He isnt even appreciative as a stay home dad. He is blessed to have a wife like you and his family is going to poison the well. Save yourself before he causes the utter destruction of your family due to his selfishness.
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Leave asap move is with sis help her with stuff move now not healthy for your kids at all
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You arenât staying with your in-laws. Youâre living with them going on 3 years. And you had a child while living in their home.
I suggest you start saving money and not having more children until you can manage your finances to move out if youâre unhappy with the living situation.
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So why does your sister watch the youngest one and not the other, and why at all if your husband isnât even working?
Take the high road.
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Wait⌠he doesnât work and you have childcare costs and need sis to help??? FUNK THAT NOISE! He can get off his backside and help pull some income!
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Youâve been in his mothers home 30 months too many. Tell your husband to start looking for a well paying job and see if you can cut your hrs and days down. Your children need their own home with two healthy, present, working parents. Your 5yr old will be in kindergarten soon enough and stick with your sister for babyâs daycare. Your going to have to give hubby a date to get a job and find this family their own space/home. You canât complain too much seems youâve been good with it this long. Now if you donât want to be with him start doing your homework and get you and your kids outta there. 12hr shifts clearly arenât working and definitely wonât if you leave him. And that doesnât mean to use him as your daughters sitter either. You have hard choices and you need to find resources and a village of support.
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Wow I just read this whole thing and I donât even know what to tell you
I was in the same situation, I was in Vegas my babies mom n dad hated me I worked ,I cleaned all of it ,so I just left came bck to Illinois and didnât think I could get by bt now my daughter is 17 I have my own place I just recently moved got bed furniture , you can do it too
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why doesnât your husband work is he even looking for a job does he even care and if he hasnât said anything about the way his mother talks to you then heâs not worth it
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There are soo many questions and soo many red flags.
Honestly-
-If you work 7 days a week 12 hours a day how can you not afford another home?
-Why is your sister watching your kid if heâs a stay at home dad?
-Why donât you pay your sister a little to watch both so your âhusbandâ can work 40 hours and you can save to buy a home.
-You are allowing this to happen girl!
Do better! Your kids are watching!!
You are the problem just as much as he is.
FFS get a one bedroom and save every penny to buy a 2 bedroom condo.
Stop playing the victim!! 
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Wow!!!
My dear lady you slog and slave.You bore the children.You work yourselves to a standstill.Hubby is redundant by falling into a ditch of bad habits while Mamma looks on her little boy and consoling him with wrong advice.
You are at both ends of your tether.Your life just consists of counting the cost and slaving away.Then you are insulted by a monster in Law that should be wise enough to stay out of your marriage.
Get out!!!
Your hubby is immature.
He takes nothing serious.
Blowing weed infront of his children and watching porn for his children to see is the worst example to later have problem children.You will regret these bad habits your husband clings to.
Soeak to a mature person and get legal advice.
SAVE YOUR CHILDREN AND YOURSELVES.
IF HUBBY DOES NOT SHOW A 90 DEGREE TURN TO DO GOOD âŚLEAVEâŚ
ALL THE BEST.ââ¤
If youâre working THAT MUCH but unable to provide solely, its time HE gets a job too!!! Thats really unfair and you shouldnât be suffering financially, alone, if heâs completely capable of working. Which im only assuming heâs able to physically work, if he can physically care for the children and house?
Maybe you could find a better paying job, then move out! If heâs not going to be a partner and happily do so, then you donât need a man child.
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You can do better. Leave his ass. Heâs not trying. Not sticking up for you. He has a lot of up growing up to do. Donât drag yourself down any longer.
Take the kids and run. Get out soon as you can. Just about anywhere would be better than where youâre living now. God bless you and the kids. Iâm praying for you!
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Hes not working, yet you have to have someone else watch your child while you work. You are working 7 days a week. AGAIN⌠he is NOT working. There is a problem with that. Even if you do live with said MIL. She needs to remember this is the same son she raised that is not taking care of his family. She needs to butt the hell out and if she is going to say anything to anyone tell her son to man up. Honey, take your children and run. You can make it on your own and you will if you want you and your children to have any kind of peaceful life at all. He is not worth much to be doing you or his children this way. Good luck to you.
Move out. I
Iived with my mil too and she said the same thing. Now we get along great. MOVE OUT no matter what. Rent a basement if you have to but MOVE!
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Out of everything you read here please remember you have to do what makes you happy. No one else can do it for you. If finding something better or putting up boundaries makes you happy then that is what you have to do. I have lived with family for years on and off not because of my own situation, but because somethingâs happen that are out of our control and we have always helped everyone out. From my parents to his parents we are pretty close. If someone isnât giving you the respect you deserve then you will not find happiness by letting them continue to disrespect you. Communication is very key here. How ever you get it done get them to talking. It might get worse before it gets better, but I have never found that anyone will treat you better if you donât make them or if it wasnât being served first. On a side note your MIL is probably talking to her son about you and you can only imagine how that is if she is disrespecting you to your face. Good luck
Sheâs right itâs not normal, that you should be doing EVERYTHING! Sheâs projecting. Also, very difficult living with family. If something doesnât give you will never be able to stop resenting your husband.
Yah⌠when her son becomes a normal husband maybe you can become a ânormalâ wife ??? Thatâs dumb as hell. I would be beside myself if I were you. Hugs mama 
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Why doesnât your husband work? Why doesnât he take care of both his children? Unless he is unable, he should be taking care of his children. The porn will the deal breaker. I would walk.
You need to move out
Fuck that bum and his nasty ass momma you can do better! You might struggle in the beginning but thereâs help out there!
Normal is a setting on the dryer, throw the whole husband away.
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Not normal cuz no one should ever deal with that!!
As a female breadwinner, I know it can be hard for others to understand your family dynamic, which is impacted by environment, etc. just like anyoneâs elseâs. I enjoy the solace from the group Working Moms Making It Work With Stay-at-Home-Dads. Our family purposefully made the choice to have a working mom and SAHD, but planned or not, your family dynamic should be respected. Maybe your husband could join local sahd groups- there may be more than you think! Good vibes to you and your family; this sounds like a difficult dynamic on many fronts.
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Talk with him. Discuss the possibility of moving out to you the own home. Can sister care for your child until kindy. Dad may want/not want to get a job. Then you may have to make the decision what you want to do.
I would leave this situation.
Leave these parasites. Take your children out of that environment. Protect your childrenâŚand your sanity.
DIVORCE.CHILD SUPPORT, ANZ WATCH HIM GET OFF HIS ASS, ARE GO TO JAIL.AND OUT FROM HIS MOMMIE. Heâs the one not normal, A REAL MAN, would have his family a home and support them. Not lay up on mommie
Girl, I think you deep down already know the answer to your own questionâŚ. Your children need positive role models in their lives, and a happy mum. What lessons are being taught to not just your kids, but all of you in this situation? Doesnât sound like anybody is truely happy in the current arrangement. Im sensing a lot of resentment and very little respect all round. Time for some changes. Good luck.
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If he doesnât work, why is your sister watching your child and not your husband- the childâs father?!?! He doesnât sound like much of a man and I most certainly wouldnât work 7 days a week while married to a man who doesnât work. Furthermore, your mother n law should suck it!!! Sheâs just sticking up for her loser son.
Your mother in law is right, you arenât a normal wife⌠Your the husband basically! Your working and supporting your kids and him. When he should be the one supporting you guys! Tell him to get a job so you guys can move out! Or you move out without him
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Wait if he stays home why are you paying for day care or the kid going to the sisterâs?
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Being normal is over rated!!
I would get on section 8. Apply every time a waitlist is open that you wanna live in that area
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Weed isnât always a bad habit. Only if it makes u lazy and unproductive. It can be very beneficial to many thođŻ
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I understand being stuckâŚbut your MIL is a bitchâŚand u have to ignore her and figure out ur marriage
Why do you work 12 hours and then come home and let your husband, who doesnât work ⌠rest?? Especially if the kids are at daycare?? Why does he need REST??
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Take your kids and leave those LOSERS!
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Personally, I would sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation. He can either get a job since he isnât fully taking care of the kids and house so you can get out of your in laws or you need to figure out how to get out. You arenât being respected by your husband or his mother and itâs beyond ridiculous. If my husband were at home full time and couldnât have both kids and you had to hire another sitter even if it is just your sister. Thatâs crazy
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You can get on Section 8 housing⌠food stamps. And child support too. You said you work from 6am to 6pm 7 days week.I Dont understand why you cant afford to move out. Maybe you could stay with your sister. Until you save the money for deposits on apartment. Best of luck to you and kids
Yeah you need to divorce him. Thats absolute bullshit.
So wait he stays home all day and still takes the kids to your sister yet they are calling you lazyâŚ
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Take kids and book it
How is it that he doesnât work, and therefore yâall canât afford rent and have to live with his parents? Is he out of work for medical reasons? If not, sorry, but thatâs whack!! AND, he takes care of only one of yâalls two children during the day?!! Oh hell no!! He needs to get a job and help support his family!!
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You work 7 days a week 12 hours a day and you canât afford to move! Tell him to get a job and put your kids in child care there is help out there! Get out before she destroys your family!
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Leave and go to your sister house ASAP
⌠He nor his family is worth itâŚ
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Move out. Stand up for yourself.
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Yeah you need to get out of there and leave him. Stay with your sister until you can get a place. She sounds like she would support your choice to leave, she is already helping with kids. Sorry you are going through this. You are an awesome mom!
I canât believe they call you the lazy one when you work 12 hour shifts, every single day of the week while your husband stays home all day and your kids go to daycare/your sisters house. And when you get home from work, he shouldnât need to rest. You should be. He should help you out with the kids. I honestly would take the kids and get out as soon as possible. Can you possibly stay with family, such as your sister until you get a place?
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Not being a ânormal wifeâ is okay! My MiL said the same thing about me, and I carried her son to a successful life away from living at home. He also picked up bad habits staying at home. You need to have a heart to heart with him when she ISNT around and tell him the marriage is in trouble.
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Yeah move out. Even if its the smallest place in the world. You will be much happier. Get out.
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You need to take your husband and family and get the heck out of that house and get your own and your husband needs to get a job and if your husband wants to stay with his mama then let him cuz thatâs obvious no pun tended you need to have that conversation with him but I donât believe his mother hates you she is kinda right your working 7 days a week while he stays home I believe his mother wants him to step up and be man and to get out of her house you two are married you also need to put your big girl panties on and find out where the two of you stand you have family to but I think you know what you need to do but the one thing I donât understand is why you work 7 days a week and donât have your own place but good luck hope everything goes your way
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Been home for two years? Meaning no job? Iâd ask your MIL why she thinks it is normal for her grown a** son to stay unemployed.
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Every one has their own journey yours sounds hard itâs hard to break up a home and leave a husband the father to your kids you are so hard working and you deserve so much more respect love to be appreciated and treated fairly with that said if your sister is willing could you and the kids stay with her for a couple of weeks or another friend or family member? If not could you stay there? You could see your kids in the evening but not sleep there just a little time for every one to de-escalate regroup and think what you really want I know from experience when you work this hard and carry the whole load it is not easy and to have some one treat you like this and spend your money on weed cigarettes and porn itâs so hurtful. If you get a break and a breath of fresh air I think you will feel better your mother in law should be ashamed on multiple levels good luck I wish I could give you a big hug but I promise you will get through this!
Iâd be making your husband get off his ass and get a job so u and ur family can have your own home, living with other people especially when u have children isnât ever a good outcome, but if he isnât willing to help provide for the family then tell him to hit the road becuase heâs not worth it!
Your life will be so much easier once you move out. Donât let her win. She wants to get under your skin so just kill her with kindness. Try and take a weekend away with just you and him to reconnect. Life can get in the way on top of everything else and things can just become routine. Donât explain yourself to any one. Keep doing an awesome job momma and those babies are blessed to have you
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Your being taken advantage of and who knows what heâs saying behind your back to the in-laws. Sounds like heâs narcissistic. Makes you the bad guy. Run
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Youâre already doing it all by yourself no way would I deal with that! There are ways you can do it youâre already part way there
Tell, her to go stick it, maybe your husband needs to get out an work , thereâs jobs everywhere
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Have a serious talk with him and let him know that youâre at your breaking point.
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Do what you gotta go to get out of that houseâŚsounds like you work your ass off and are not appreciated at allâŚhe also doesnât seem like a winner so Iâd weigh your options there tooâŚgive yourself credit and get what you deserve for you and your kids
Independence as a family is important so try and move away from the monster-in-law. Next your husband needs to get a job and support his own habits if he is going to continue to indulge in them! Once he has a job you need to cut back working a couple of days so that you donât run yourself into the ground!
If your husband isnât willing to move or find work then you really need to think about whether he deserves your love and time 
my heart goes out to you, good luck
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Your sister watches your baby to save money? Why? Your husband doesnât work. You have no money to move yet he is smoking pot. Girl you are living the life of a single mom. Make a plan and save yourself and your kids.
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Im sorry not trying to be rude but if you work 6-6 7 days a week how can you not afford to do it alone! If i was you i would move out and get my own place! Sounds like that would solve 90 percent of your problems!
U can leave working like that, or use him for a sitter and stack money
When was the last time you had a day off? For real. Wow.
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Give him a choice. He can either move out with you and work on your marriage away from the in laws or you can take the kids and move out and be happy. U work 12hr days 7 days a week and ur hubby is home but sending a kid to your sisters? Wth? Him not saying anything about what his momma said is a huge red flag. Heâs on mommaâs for and will be unless u stand your ground. Put the ball in his court and see if he wants to play ball or if he wants to be a mommaâs lil bitch boy the rest of his life? U are a great mother and wife. Your husband is a turd and your mother in law is a cunt. Just my opinionđ¤ˇââď¸
Get you a 1 bedroom and get out of there. Your life will be better
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Does he have any source of income?
Been there done that run for the hills sister & never look back!!
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Tell her to butt out of your marriage and since your the only one working its fair that your husband cleans and what not since he doesnât work.
If she continues this tell your husband he needs to pull his mother up or you and the kids are going its not fair that you work hard still come home look after the kids and cop this shit
Your 6 month old should be home with your husband if he doesnât work. WTF! If he donât work where does he get money for his weed? You need to open another account I. Your name only and start saving to leave his ass!
Sheâs embarrassed that her son isnât doing anything and is trying to pretend the opposite. Donât stand for that shit. Tell your husband to stand up for you and if he doesnât, stand up for yourself. Then reconsider that relationship.
Leave and u can do it alone u already are
Sometimes you have to leave to wake a man up. If it is not healthy for you to be there you should get out any way you can. It is better to have one awesome parent in life than two duds. Good luck!
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Get out now! Itâs inevitable, so, the sooner, the better. Your marriage is a lost cause.
Number one, youâre not a normal wife youâre a husband also. 2, he wonât stand up for you bc that would upset his lazy existence. 3. If that was my mother in law we would have already been boxing! Youâre basically working two jobs and he needs rest bc he does the equivalent of maybe one job, and heâs allowing a family member (especially his mother) talk to you like this. Iâm not one to advocate just throwing in the towel and walking away but it sounds like momma got her hooks back in her baby and she trying to push you out. Iâve never been successful in getting a mommas boy to be anything more then an extra child I have to care for.
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And she says you arenât normal? You need to get out of there ASAP. Mamas boy does no wrong.
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Make him man up and get a job! Why are you paying any daycare when he is at home. Tell him to man up so you can get out of his moms and have your own family!! Good grief there is no way!!
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Oh no why canât he watch the baby too heâs not doing nothing but smoking bud and being a mamas boy you can get out your doing by yourself already
You poor thingâŚsounds like you need to get not only you & the kids but hubby as well out of thereâŚno matter what it takes! You & o
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GET moved out of her house ASAP ⌠and tell your husband to get a job ASAP⌠and things will get better quick
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Your husband sounds like a piece of work. He should be working. You need to get out of that situation quick
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Life is too short to be miserable. Get out while you can.
If heâs a mamaâs boy and wonât stand up for you, then heck with it.
Meddling people are the worst.
If youâve talked to him and you guys canât come to an understanding, then divorce him.
You will all be better for it.
You think you canât do it alone but you can.
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Your marriage needs to be inclusive for you and your husband. His mom is not a third person in your marriage. Maybe marriage therapy will help your family to stay together! If not then, cut him lose. Lifeâs too short to be miserable. Good luck
Get out of there. Get help from state or a church. Leave mom to take care of her darling boy.
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Donât waste ur life being taken for granted⌠u do more than ur fair share⌠I would tell them both to Fâoff⌠try save some of ur money up and get the hell away from that toxic situation⌠get out while ur still OK and not completely battered down by those two cretins
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Leave heâs just another child. Thatâs not a man.
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YOUâRE ALREADY DOING IT ALL. Itâs time for your husband to SPEAK UP and STEP UP TO be the LEADER, PROTECTOR & PROVIDER he is ordained to be in marriage. Have a serious heart to heart with âYOUR HUSBANDâ (not the SON of your M-I-L) Make an informed decision based on HIS ACTIONS not hollow promises or words. Your M-I-L has no say in the matter PERIOD. Its long over due for you to have your own place I wish you peace and a better future.
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Make your escape and leave that man with his momaâŚ
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Take the kids and go.!! 3 yrs at his mothers home is unacceptableâŚunless you enjoy being treated like that! Stay with your family with kids and find a placeâŚeven a 1 bdrm apt at this point let him stay with his mother he seems to rather enjoy being there and not working
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