My mother in law works in the medical field but wants to come over: Advice?

Hey guys, I’m not sure what to do. My mother in law works in the nursing field and is coming down this weekend for the holidays. I’m a little nervous about having a toddler and being eight months pregnant, but I want her to be able too to spend time with her grand baby. She doesn’t get to see her as often as we’d like. In the beginning, I’ll be honest; I wasn’t taking this as seriously. Still, with the sick season already a thing and throw in a pandemic with case numbers more than doubled since the beginning, I’m a little weary, especially with her working in the medical field. She gets tested, I believe, throughout the week, and that’s where I’m a little alright about it but then questioning because she’s traveling in a car through a few states, which means gas station stops, snack stops, etc. What are your guy’s plans for the holidays and your opinions? I guess I’m just searching for a second opinion or outside viewpoint, thanks

11 Likes

Tell her everything you just wrote here…

2 Likes

Our families live out of state. We are skipping visiting and travel, but specifically what you describe. At 8 months pregnant, I wouldn’t risk it.

3 Likes

My kids dad is coming on a plane with his nurse wife from Washington state to Texas to pick the 2 boys up for 6 days. I feel the same way! I have a 1 in a half year old also and 6 months pregnant. I’m freaking out. He keeps telling me it’s fine and they have access to rapid testing or some crap but I’ve been following guidelines since March!

I work in a medical office. I havent once stopped living life, bc its so uncertain and so very short! Im also asthmatic, just saying. Just wear a mask around her, they work right? 🤷 enjoy your family while you can❤

12 Likes

To be honest being in the medical field she’ll be taking the precautions that she is supposed to even with driving. (Hand sanitizing and washing) I mean stopping for gas and snacks/food while driving isn’t as dangerous as being enclosed with a bunch of people. And because she’s a medical professional she knows what precautions to take and how serious the virus is. If she’s getting tested regularly I don’t see the problem with it. In the last 6 months I have driven myself from Florida to NC to Virginia and than to MA, where I stayed for a month and drove to NE, and I haven’t gotten the virus or gotten sick at all :woman_shrugging:t2:. I would just talk with her and tell her your concerns and see what she says.

16 Likes

My husband is a Healthcare worker working directly with covid and doesn’t get tested unless he shows symptoms. So I’d check on that. But honestly we avoid as much as we can since we have a one year old. But going out to the store poses just about the same risk

1 Like

I wouldn’t risk it. I’d just say “visits don’t work for us right now during this surge of the pandemic. We miss you and hope to see you as soon as it’s safe”. (Don’t let her guilt trip you into it).

6 Likes

I wouldn’t risk it personally, but if she’s coming over I’d at least make her wear a mask and maintain a safe distance (no kissing or hugging her grandchild).

3 Likes

We aren’t seeing anyone from outside our household. I have elderly grandparents and a medically complex infant to worry about. Even my brother isn’t coming to visit and we haven’t seen him in over a year. It’s just too risky (his girlfriend also works the frontlines). We are going to have a live stream/video chat going on Christmas so we can still spend the holiday “together”.

6 Likes

I mean you can always have her go and get a rapid test? But if she is working in the medical field they have so many precautions going on right now because of it. I would let her come and just ask her to wear her mask

2 Likes

We are carrying on with our lives as normal. Husband has already had covid and we were all trapped in here with him. Tomorrow isnt promised so live today!

2 Likes

I’ve lost 4 people from covid, and the most recent 2 days ago. Don’t.

4 Likes

NO do not take the chance, ask her to wait till after the baby is born, and maybe after she gets the vaccine. Nursing homes are at the top of the list.

5 Likes

Forget about the fact that she gets tested regularly, you are more concerned about when contracting the deadly virus while traveling. That is valid and I think you are right to be concerned. I think you need to speak to her.

3 Likes

If you want her to come earlier and be tested and quarantined to be on the safe side than that’s a good option. You would have to discuss with her the best way to go about it and prepare for her to come earlier and have things set to make sure is comfortable

I work at a nursing home full of covid we have pregnant employees as long as she wears all her ppe she should be fine no employees at my work have caught it. I still have to go home and care for 4 kids and they all go to a daycare where masks aren’t worn no one has gotten sick. But tell her how u feel

5 Likes

We currently live in another state than hubby and have been since Aug. He flies home once a month to visit us! He lives with other people and goes through airports/airplanes to get to us! We aren’t going to not see him because of the chance of COVID! I am also a teacher and we have had in person school since Aug and I am in contact with students all day long and so are my children.

1 Like

Thanks to Dr Agogo a the wonderful and caring spellcaster who helped In getting my husband back home… Months ago i had issues with my husband to the extent that made him left the house, and he started dating another Lady and lived with the lady, I tried all I could to get him back home but all effort were useless not until a friend of my came to my house and I told her everything that had happened US, then she told me of a spellcaster who helped her when she had issues… I contacted Dr Agogo then explained everything and he told me not to worry again that my husband will be back home… After all had been done, thought it was a joke, my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came home pleading for forgiveness… You could contact him via email: [email protected]
via What’sApp is +2348148065863…

1 Like

As a nurse who works on a COVID unit, I can tell you I’m hurting from months of people avoiding me while dealing with the pandemic on the frontlines. Healthcare workers are suffering from PTSD because things are so stressful at work. plus we are isolated from family and friends. We are at our breaking points. I saw my family at Thanksgiving for the first time since March, and it meant the world to me. I socially distanced myself from them, but just getting to see them was the best. I totally understand your concerns, however, if your MIL is willing to take precautions, please consider letting her come.

12 Likes

She’s probably a lot safer traveling the way she is. Being that she’s in the medical field I’m sure your mother in kaw is taking precautions to stay safe. Have her wear a mask and no kissing… But do discuss your concerns w/her. Good luck.

4 Likes

Driving in a car with a family member with windows open occasionally is better than riding on a bus, train or plane, so depends on how the in laws are getting to your place. Will they stay in a hotel on the way? Most are safe, but check cleaning protocols followed, & see if it houses quarantiners.

Do you live someplace where you can spend a lot of time outside or with the windows open? How big is your house? Can you be 6 feet apart at meals, eat outside or on the go instead of lingering at a table? Can you or she check into a hotel or stay with someone who has been very cautious so you can minimize interactions with her while letting her hang with the toddler either at your home or the hotel? And maybe stay away from your husband and toddler for 5-7 days (locking yourself in your room at home or hotel/friend’s house and only spending time with them outdoors) to see if either of them shows symptoms after the in-laws leave.

Will the in-laws wear a mask most of the time? Will your toddler? Prolonged indoor talking, laughing, eating are big culprits, so can you all move around a lot and limit the length of meals & close indoor chatting & drinking when you’re without masks?

I’m guessing MIL & FIL don’t have enough time off to quarantine at home 10 days in advance of the visit. What is the caseload/infection level where she is & where you are? Rural Wyoming vs Manhattan? The number of infections is a determinant in the level of risk. Does she work in a COVID ICU, a nursing home, or as a radiologist or a receptionist at a cardiologist’s office? How many people does she come in contact with per day? Is it direct or indirect/distanced contact? Does her place of work have meticulous or lax adherence to PPE & cleaning protocols? Is there an air exchange system in place, opportunities to take outdoor breaks or not?

How old are the in-laws? How many years do you think you will have left with them? Many? Few? What is everyone’s health like? Are you all robust or does anyone have one or more risk factors (besides your pregnancy)?

Life is a risk, just opt for favorable odds and make a decision based on the information you have. Good luck & congratulations on your pregnancy!

3 Likes

She is a medical professional and I am really sure that she will taking the necessary precautions so to not bring Covid 19 especially to her granddaughter. Honestly talk to her and tell her your concerns yourself.

1 Like

You could have a shower ready for her and ask her to shower and change into clean clothes before coming near your kids and yourself, that is all that really should need to be done, I am sure she will understand.

If she is a nurse then she is cautious.

1 Like

Do you get out and go to stores and gas stations? Then let her come. People who work in Healthcare deserve to see family too. The virus can come from anywhere whether you are super safe or not.

26 Likes

If she works in the medical field shes probably the one id trust to come over. You know shes following protocols to a T.

7 Likes

But if she wears her mask and washes her hands there’s nothing to worry about right…

1 Like

We have been and still are seeing family i lost my Uncle Dec 28th last year he was only 42 years old I missed seeing him Christmas eve by 2 mins and the last time I had seen him was in Sept so I’m seeing family because tomorrow isn’t promised and you never know when you’ll get that horrible phone call

2 Likes

Health care workers are getting sick and not even knowing it, Id be more concerned about her due to that. Also, there is a lot of covid fatigue going on with lapses in correct procedures (ie: masks off to drink or eat near others, etc). Google it if in doubt about this…

1 Like

I wouldn’t worry honestly.
My husband works at a prison, they have had out breaks and I never once was worried about him coming home to our children, one of which is in the toddler age range.

If she works in the medical field 90% of those jobs they have to test weekly or bi-weekly. You’re more likely to get it from a place like Walmart lol.
If you are worried you can always ask that she wear a mask.

5 Likes

My husband and I skipped Thanksgiving with the whole family and they acted like we were assholes and guess what our nephew ended up.covid positive days after. They are all planning to gather for Christmas again and we are not so again we are the jerks. Its not about just getting it, its the fact that if we are exposed we have to miss work to be quarantined etc and I’m not wanting to do all that so they can all just be mad.

6 Likes

If your sending your kids to school or taking them to public parks grandma shouldn’t be a issue

10 Likes

I don’t think it is a good idea for anyone to be visiting but being pregnant, I wouldn’t take that chance. Follow your gut.

6 Likes

We are not getting together with any family that lives out of state. Being that my sisters in law are both coming to my mother in laws we are staying home. We will then wait about a month before we venture across the street to see my MIL.

My husband had covid, we didn’t get it. It’s all about sanitizing and washing hands and taking extra precautions. It’s crazy and sad to see others have died, but my husband had very mild symptoms luckily. Hang in there and don’t let this take away special time and memories. If she tests negative, let her come.

1 Like

I wouldn’t risk it. Not worth it, stick to video calls. It’s hard, we’re missing holidays with our family but it’s just not worth the risk. And our kids are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 so my heart breaks that they don’t get these memories with the rest of the family. But they will eventually.

1 Like

Nurses are well protected, better than anyone I’d say. And you have more chances of dying from getting in your car. Life is short. Don’t take anything for granted. If your family can and will be with you do it. In the end none of us get out alive. I have been waiting to see my family for months. If anyone is sick or feeling that way do not allow visits. Otherwise enjoy your time together it’s often too short anyhow!

14 Likes

My hubs works in a hospital everyday…we take all precautions when he gets home, and he get tested frequently…we’ve all been good since it all began!

1 Like

I’m sure with her working in the medical field she sees how serious this virus is and will be very careful. As far as at work they are probably mandated to wear PPE. So, she should be fairly safe to be around. If you still feel uncomfortable, ask her to wear a mask.

When my dad came to visit he quarantined for 2 weeks first. Then he got tested before seeing us.

As long as she has a negative test result and wears a mask whenever she gets out of the car, sanitizes her hand whenever she touched anything… it should be fine. I guess she knows how to protect herself because she is a nurse!

5 Likes

We are Only seeing a couple family members we see regularly and know they have been taking extra precautions like stay home majority of the time. I too have a toddler and currently due in 5 weeks with my 2nd. My SO father works at a hospital and we are not doing any in person visitation, we are setting up live cam on Christmas Day so he can watch his grandchild open presents, always better safe than sorry Especially being pregnant and having littles already relying on you. Please stay safe!!

This is hard topic for my family right now we just lost a family member to the virus. My side wants us tested before we spend the holidays with them. If you want her to come tell her to have a negative test to ease your mind. It’s crazy out there. Stay safe

3 Likes

Two weeks ago I would have said go for it. But last Wednesday my uncle was hospitalized from covid and we lost him by Friday. Since then I’ve had two friends test positive. So I say follow your gut, not strangers opinions :heart:

4 Likes

Just use precautions. if she is negative then you sanitise … she knows what to do. I dont think its an issue.

5 Likes

If it counts at all, nurses and those in the medical field are probably less likely to transfer any virus because they wear soo much extra gear and are constantly cleaning and washing hands. A friend of mine works covid front line and is in an ER setting and hasn’t brought anything home to her 2 toddlers this year.

17 Likes

Skip this holiday. Tell everyone to stay home.

9 Likes

You can’t live your life in fear. Let Grandma visit

1 Like

It’s tough. But she should wait for everyone’s sake

5 Likes

Do you go to the store? Do you take your kids? Do you grab things off the shelves? Do you touchbthe carts?

Just have her take a covid test 72 hrs before she is set to arrive. Or have her wear a mask with you

1 Like

She will be tested every week for COVID

2 Likes

Does ur mother come over …shes as much at risk as ur mother in law at passing. As u are passing to them .if she gets tested and she’s fine .whats the problem its like saying ur man goes to the shops .he will have to move out

1 Like

If you’re not comfortable, which clearly you’re not, put it off 🤷

1 Like

Skip it here’s an example why

2 Likes

She’s safer than the grocery store.

12 Likes

My daughter~in ~law has been working at a V. A. Clinic for 4 years now…has been wearing a mask and following all safety rules and regulations since this bs started…got Covid last week from a co worker…has been to E. R. twice so far…clearly masking…washing…santizing doesn’t prevent folks from gettint it…:angry:

1 Like

I’m not having my 19 yr old son over. We are giving him and his girlfriend their gifts on Christmas Eve and sadly just putting them on the porch for him to take. ITS KILLING ME but he is a college student that lives in a condo setting and is already on mandatory quarantine but they didn’t receive the email till 4 days after the school knew so we just are not chancing things. My 15 and 12yr old asked when we are doing real Christmas because we all get together at my moms and I still don’t know if I’m fully on board with that. This will be the slowest, relaxing, saddest Christmas ever but still have my husband and 2 littler ones to wake up with presents under a tree so at least we still have that. Our town has been having numbers jump a little and never had a full spread so now that it’s the cold season it seems I’m hearing more and more and know people now who are getting it. :pensive::pensive:

I baby sit 3 or 4 days a week for grand kids. Daughter is at my house often and is an ICU nurse who cares for COVID patients at times. I feel safe because they take great precautions and she is extremely careful in the general community as well. My college kid on the other hand gets 2 tests right before we welcome her home. :blush:

So let her come over

1 Like

I’m not a medical expert but you’ll and your babies will be fine…if she’s, someone in the medical field, is not concerned then you shouldn’t be either… take precautions, i.e. if anyone has symptoms, stay away; wash your hands, cough/sneeze in your shoulder, etc. Try not to believe all that the media is telling us…good luck!

1 Like

My mom might come, but she’s only an hour away, and recently had covid, so has an immunity for 90 days. The rest of the family will probably meet via a family zoom call. I have barely seen mom in months, and she’s only considering coming because of her immunity. I am afraid that I could get it and not know it, and spread it to others because I don’t get symptoms. So I have been cautious this whole time.

If its a worry ,you could make sure she’s isolated for a week n test her before u all mingle freely…just saying .
Family doesn’t mind with larger interests at heart.

Wake up…that’s all.

2 Likes

You’re better off not having her come over. You won’t have to think about is she sick are you’re family members now sick.there is FaceTime, zoom, teams… so many safe options to use to see you’re family members

Personally I’d never let fear keep me from my family. I get caution but your mom probably needs this more than you’ll ever know. She’s a nurse, she will take the proper precautions.
I think about it like this, we aren’t promised another day even when there isn’t a pandemic.

7 Likes

If she is tested routinely I would trust her judgment. She wouldn’t want to do anything that would hurt her grandbabies.

2 Likes

My mother-in-law is in the medical field and has been around my little guy aswell as myself. I’m pregnant aswell. Depending on where she works she should be getting tested every 2 weeks to start with. She would also most likely be taking all the necessary precautions when coming around yous. I get it, its a touchy subject but maybe talk to your inlaw and find out when she was last tested and what precautions you would like to be followed

1 Like

I missed Thanksgiving in the hopes I could definitely go for Christmas. But that’s a no go too… I honestly am not going to risk it. If my husband got copied and was out of work for 2 weeks we would become homeless!

SorryNotSorry but nope. I work in a restaurant. None of us have gotten covid, except one person. Who got it from someone he lives with. Who got it from the nursing home they work in. So yeah, NOPE.

If she showers, sanitizes, and has a mask on you’re good. Cant bubble wrap people or children so just practice safe hygiene and handwashing.

1 Like

N95 mask clean and sanitize should be ok

Bottom line …if you don’t feel comfortable then don’t do it. Everyone has an opinion on this covid situation and must do what THEY think is right for THEIR own families. Good luck to you!

4 Likes

If the patients are wearing mask when they are around her and she is washing her hands, wearing a mask, etc. Then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.

If she works in the medical field then she is likely being tested often for covid. It would probably be safer to be around her than others who are not getting tested weekly.

1 Like

you don’t have to go to the store do curbside

My sister works in the medical field also. She lives in the same town that I do but I rarely get to see her due to both of us working all the time. I honestly can’t wait to see her this Christmas. She’s the last person that I’m worried about being around my kids bc she knows a lot more about this virus than the rest of us do. And I know that she would never jeopardize getting anyone else sick.

1 Like

Considering she works in healthcare, she knows the importance of this virus. She has probably seen more death and sickness this year then she ever imagined and it would break her heart to not see her family.

1 Like

My moms a nurse and lives 5 minutes away from us. She’s also one of the only people I would trust to watch my daughter. Im definitely not going to deny my mom the chance to see her granddaughter. Those nurses are so suited up they are probably the safest. Its the people partying and drinking on the weekends that are jeopardizing our health. But thats just my opinion.

4 Likes

My daughter got COVID, and the doctor told me that children actually seem to get it less and when they do get it, rarely experience anything beyond flu-like symptoms, mostly diarrhea and the biggest concern they have is dehydration, and he works at the hospital that treats most of the pediatric cases in our state. (She’s in the hospital for unrelated reasons, not COVID. She just happened to get that, too.) I also asked about seeing family upon release, and was told we have nothing to be concerned about as long as we follow recommended precautions.

I personally wouldn’t risk your health OR your baby’s (Either baby). I realize that healthcare workers probably take the most precautions, but I’ve also personally known a few healthcare workers that have gotten entire families sick. It just takes one mistake… And, like you said, she’d be traveling through multiple states. If you’re not comfortable with it, stick with your intuition. I would simply say you’ve been advised by your OB to quarantine for your last month of pregnancy (no visitors outside your immediate household). My friend is 8M pregnant and her OB actually told her to do that. Just an idea! I’d wait until after you have your baby and then see how the numbers look.

1 Like

I’m sure as her being a nurse she has taken all the precautions. Gloves at the gas station bringing her own food. I would let her see her grandbaby. She isn’t positive for covid she knows the symptoms and wouldnt put you or your family in danger

I wouldn’t worry at all. Wash hands and cary on.

Please tell her not to come. She is endangering all of you. What is she thinking???

Do you go anywhere? Does your husband stop at stores? Have you left your home with your children at any time during this pandemic? Have the children been to the store with you? Gone out for food? Gone to the gas station or park? Yes she maybe a health care worker and so is a lot of my family but I’m still seeing them. If you have said yes to any of the above then go ahead and let her visit. ask her to wear a mask and y’all wear one too if it’s that big of a deal.

1 Like

I go to Pennsylvania all the time to see my grandchildren. I have never stayed at home. Not one of us have ever gotten sick. And I work in the medical field. So do both my daughters. And the rest all work out in the General Public. Just wash your hands.

2 Likes

We are staying home and NOT allowing anyone over!!! We were all told to stay home for the holidays an not to be traveling so that’s what everyone should do…

1 Like

My dad is a nurse and gets tested weekly to continue working. I’d let her see the kids.

If she’s getting tested through work, I think it would be alright. My boyfriends mom works in a nursing home so she made sure she had her most recent test result before we visited for thanksgiving.

That would be a no from me

Unfortunately I had to tell my mother n law no just tonight about Christmas… with as bad as everything is right now just can’t take the chance having a little one at home… but the whole pandemic I have taken it serious… haven’t taken My daughter anywhere, do grocery pick up , have not eaten out or even done pick up, have only seen family that live close with driveway visits or FaceTime calls… and I just pray it will all be over soon. I think most of us are very conflicted on what is the right thing or the best thing to do for our families , so my advice to you is just follow your gut. Happy holidays.

Ask your doctor’s advice and only do it with masks, clean hands, etc if you’re comfortable with the risk. Good luck.

Healthcare workers get tested weekly or 2 times a week depending on her job. she won’t have an issue with testing before she goes to your home if you ask her politely. she might be able to show you her negative results from work since it’s usually within a 3 day window that we know we are negative before returning to work. I personally contracted Covid from the household that was afraid of contracting Covid from me because I work in a nursing home. Enjoy your family while you can is my advise but be smart nothing wrong with being extra careful anyone who loves you and kids will make the effort to be as safe as possible :heart:

Even though she works in the medical field, it doesn’t mean she has it. If she has not been around anyone positive and doesn’t have any symptoms, she is as safe as anyone else you are in contact with. Have her sanitize or wash hands upon arrival and often, if you are more comfortable, wear masks. I am an MA and a grandma and I understand completely. At this point, it there is no rhyme or reason on how or who gets sick. She should know the precautions better than others. Let her visit, unless she has definitely been with a positive person .

Both my mom and hubby worked in the medical field… my mom is a cna n hubby works in a nursing home as a maintenance man… both get tested n both take precautions. At first my mom was iffy n stayed away jus in case but then we jus started going around each other after that. I mean ti me id do or anyways it was killing me not to brew able to c my mom. I was shop down in the dumps it was crazy

My mother works as a nurse and I allow her around my toddler and myself (I’m 6 months pregnant). She is very safe at work and probably more protected than we are going to the grocery store. If you’re worried ask her to wear a mask.

1 Like

Not much family love being shown there. Endangering others is not love. My 81 year old husband and I (76) both with pre existing conditions, are absolutely alone this Christmas. Our family and friends keep in touch, check on us by phone, and our family on Skype. They love us, that is why they protect us by. Staying away.,

Stay home,stay safe. Zoom meetings only.For her safety as well as your unborn baby! The drugs haven’t been tested on pregnant women. Why chance it? She should know better. Not very professional of her.

Medical field personnel are trained to the highest extent of sanitation.

I would say come on over grandma!! Give y’all a small break even if it’s going to the bathroom alone.