Everyone thinks having a bond with your mother is easy, but its NOT when your issues run deeper. I don’t have one with my mom because she is a narcissist.
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Unfortunately people need to understand that not everyone was blessed with a loving and understanding mom. I absolutely HATE it when the blame is put on the person that tries
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Let them have sympathy for that one person. It will get them NOWHERE
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There is no relationship to talk about if she invited your ex and his new wife but not you.
See a good therapist to work through these feelings but move on…she doesn’t deserve you in her life and you don’t deserve to be treated like that
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Walk away. Toxic relationships can cause more pain. Time to walk away and enjoy your happy life. If she wonders what has happen to the relationship between the two of you, explain without getting mad. If she still fells she was right, then walk.
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Yeah she doesn’t deserve your love!!! Period! Shame on her for inviting someone else and not her own child 
I’d be devastated. Cut her out with her toxicity 
she’s no good for your own mental health. You on the other hand has done well trying to talk and sorting things out 
hang in there…
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Sorry that you are treated that way by your own mother, that has to be really painful. I think it’s time for you to cut that out of your life - you don’t deserve that kind of nonsense. Hang in there!! 
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The trick is you don’t. Just cut her off…completely. No communication. Recreate your family and tribe with more trusting people.
Use an email address that only goes to you. Whenever you break down and feel like talking to your mom… just send an email to yourself.
She already knows what she is doing. You expressing hurt is just confirming its working … for her.
I did this to two of my family members for 2 years. We dont talk about the past or the dark years ever. Both said they never wanted me to erase them again.
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Sometimes you have to realize that you cannot love a person into being the person you want them to be.
It is achingly difficult, but you need to see that she will never be the mom you want her to be.
Walk away, cut her off, and don’t look back.
You deserve so much more respect than she will ever give you.
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It must hurt bad. Sending hugs and healing to you. Sometimes the people we are given in this world are not the people we need to keep in ourlives. We can love them from a distance. Hopefully you’ll be able to heal, love yourself, and surround yourself with loving and caring people.
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When someone tells you how they feel with their actions, believe them. I had to let my mother go a long time ago. She doesnt love me, she never will and she probably never did.
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There comes a point where there is no changing someone. So in that case you have stop urself from being hurt. Distance yourself and deny contact. Its not your fault if u tried. So dont blame yourself for stepping away from a toxic relationship.
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Eliminate toxic people and unfortunately sometimes that can include family. It hurts but if she respects you at all she will reach out and then you can explain to her that what she did is wrong and disrespectful to you. I find that odd whether it’s a friend or family member, people who love you wouldn’t have people around you were once with and don’t want around anymore.
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Omg that’s terrible but honestly that should show you the disrespect she has for you, and will never change. God bless you and honestly somehow have your own nice thanksgiving
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It sounds like you have done all that you can. You can’t change a person if they don’t want or feel the need to change. It’s best to cut your losses. I understand she’s your mom but just because she’s related to you doesn’t mean you have to put up with toxic behavior.
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You don’t really have to say anything. Just walk away from the toxicity and take the time to heal. I understand the pain will be tremendous but you cannot convince someone to love you the way you need them to. Live your life and honor yourself.
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She may not have said it … but actions have consequences and reading that hurt my feelings 
some people are just … not nice … it has nothing to do with you … it’s all about them.
It sounds like it’s time to cut ties. I know it can hurt and feel unfair but there’s no point in trying to maintain a relationship with someone who isn’t trying to do the same. Ask yourself, if she wasn’t your mother would you put up with her behavior?
My fiance and I had to cut ties with his mom over a year ago for being toxic and having her priorities out of order and we’re doing just fine. She knows what she has to do to repair things and so far she hasn’t been inclined to do so and that’s just the way it has to be.
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My mom is toxic also! Long story, but I don’t talk to her.I can’t change her, and she doesn’t see how hurtful she is, I had to walk away. Sometimes you have to love from a distance…
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just stay away…you have done all you can…the ball is in her court…when she comes around, and she will, you set the boundaries and don’t back down. Her time with her ex-son-in-law is over and I am shocked that his new wife is going along with this set up. Just stay away and stay strong.
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Do you have kids together ? Just wondered if that played a part in it. Some people are just toxic and love to stir up problems and drama. I know you are hurt. I would just let her go. Sometimes peopke even family just aren’t good for our mental health.
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I think that’s kind of the sign. I hate to say it but I think now is when u just cut ties. I mean, if u 2 were in a good relationship now (u and the ex) then u wouldn’t even be asking this. It’s clear things didn’t end well between u two and your mother has obviously made it clear she doesn’t agree with u.
Had a similar situation where my first daughters dad and my mom tried to take my daughter away from me. I’m talking courts, allegations the whole biz. So naturally the relationship between me and my mom was very rocky. She invited him to my sister’s quinceañera in Mexico but not me and my then husband. We’re better now but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I got divorced. It was a few years we didn’t spend time together, even during the holidays. Only time will tell, on the meantime live your life. If she comes around, great! If not, well her loss.
I’d just like to ask… when is enough, enough? Sounds to me like you’ve tried. Even to the extreme that if you were to feel guilty for moving on… you could look back and have tangible evidence you DID try. Family is a beautiful thing… but so can the friends in your life that you welcome as family. You deserve to cut the strings. Live a happy life. Thank your mother for that gift. Move on… if she is willing to try, she will find a way. You deserve happiness.
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You have a lot of patience. You’ve tried and that’s what matters. Make your own memories with friends if possible or if you have kids with them. Life is too short to spend your time with toxic people.
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I’d say that’s when you draw the line, she choose your ex over her own flesh and blood. Time to end the relationship
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Wow!!! Cut her out!!! What parent invites her child’s ex and his new wife but NOT HER OWN CHILD!!! GEEZ!
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Cut. Her. Out. Plain and simple. Don’t even need to explain. It is hard and people will call you the bad guy but you need to do what’s best for you!
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I would tell your mom “I want to repair things with us, so in the spirit of forming a line of communication (insert in your constructive wording) and that you would like for her to accept your boundaries
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I think your mom is telling you what to do. Leave her alone.
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Some one taught me this lesson long time ago. Love from a distance those toxic people. Family…
when you finally do and break those strings of control your mother has over your emotional health you will feel the weight of the world lift from you and feel so much better. Wish you luck.
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Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from those relationships even if it’s with a parent. You will be at peace and much happier once you do that.
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It’s a hard and painful decision, but you can’t force someone to be in ones life. I had to make that decision with my mom 5yrs ago now. Be strong and look forward to every new day ahead.
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Just step away…dont get me wrong my family is super close…but you will spend the rest of your life second guessing yourself with her or wondering when she will bless you with her presence…doesnt say if you have children but you do not want to put them thru this a part time grandmother…just step away and if she reaches out then decide if she is sincere in wanting a closeness but sometimes we have to simply move on it is NOT YOU it is her. Good luck
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Holy crap. I’m sorry. That really would hurt if she isn’t willing to hear you our or consider your feelings I’d have to change something and maybe distance myself I know it’s your mom but I def would. You deserve to be happy and not be brought down if she is causing more hurt than happiness I’d start cutting ties as needed. Maybe not forever but get yourself happy again and then go from there maybe one day it cna be resolved but don’t waste to long if she isn’t willing you deserve a life and happiness with or without her. Goodluck to you
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Tell her your done and to kick rocks…you don’t have to keep the negativity in your life. If she would rather have your ex an his new wife around more than you then you definitely don’t need that at all .
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Sometimes family is toxic. Youve explained yourself to her several times. Just be done. No need to get into a big discussion at this point. Just quit picking up the phone.
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Ahhhh, my mom is friends(on fb) with my ex husband’s gf…but not my bf… I didn’t say anything, we also have a long history of discourse…I completely removed her and am much happier. People say, you will miss her when she dies, and I will in part, but I can’t have a happy life and include her in it…once you hit that realization it becomes so much easier…
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It happens all the time …my husband’s mother invites his ex & her boyfriend…I’m over it lufe is too short to bother with ppl who don’t care about you & your kids! Make your own happiness 
Went through something similar. My mom invited my ex husband and gf he cheated with over on Mother’s Day and told me when I got there which I was invited last minute… That was alot of fun. Luckily his girl had some brains to not come cause I raise our kids 99% of the time cause I’ll be damned she gets to participate in that day when she takes their dad from them alot of the time. Funny thing is no one was invited for Fathers Day. I’d say just let it go and have your own holiday without people that cause problems cause I wont be doing any Mothers Day with any of them from now on. No problems just prevention of problems.
I understand completely…I had to walk away from both my mother and father, the drama, the hurt, the pain all too much to deal with just to have someone in your life. I told them I would not stop them from seeing their grandchildren 5 months has past not a word.
I hate it for my children but had to remove them from my life for my mental health. Stay strong
If he is taking your child over just let time pass. At first I hated that my family chose my ex and his wife but I am thankful now because she ( my mother ) is kind to my kids just not me. It is hard but let them go and you will feel so much better and your children will be able to decide based on how they are treated. Sorry your family is unkind to you, just remember that it is something wrong with them not you. Woo hoo now you get a guilt free conflict free holiday.
Sounds like she is stuck in her ways for whatever reason it seems as if she has something against you!!? You sound level headed and if you have tried and nothing is changes cut her out because family can be toxic
I’ve been there myself still there and at this point you have to do it’s best for you and your family you have to let go of the toxicity I Had to walk away from my mom it was what was best for me and my kids and we are thriving now I am driving for the first time in 35 years of my life
Maybe shenassume you were coming. My mom threw a party and personally invited my boyfriend but didnt actualky invited me. BUT i knew i was invited lol. I am her dsughter why woukdnt i be lol. And my mom amd i dint have a good relationships either but at the end of the day i knew i was automatically invited to the party. Do thay probably what hapoen lol.
Well my therapist told me. Decide your boundaries, state your boundaries, and if they cross them again… Do not give them the opportunity to cross the boundary again. I didn’t speak to my family for quite a while because they did not respect my boundaries. I am not suggesting that’s what you do, but it worked for me. I have friends that are more family than they were at that time.
There comes time in a persons life where you have to seoerate yourself from family to ha e oeace and quiet in your own life it may hurt for awhile but you will be ok take care of yourself she may come around she may not but you will be ok
There is nothing to do but heal yourself and develop boundaries.had to do it with my father.
Wow, I am so sorry for your situation, is a tough one. I think is healthy for you to move away for a little bit, pick up your pieces and get yourself together, forgive them and forgive you for the past. This will help you to move on more than any therapy. Take your time, I promise your next thanksgiving you will be in a better place mentally.
Why bother…so sorry to say but u gotta hear it…she is telling u and ur not listening…she’s not choosing u…why do u want to be in a toxic relationship…u can’t stress yourself over someone who isn’t stressing over u…be done with her…
I think it’s time to just walk away and quit trying so hard. The harder you try the more it will hurt. I’ve cut family out of my life and now I’m less stressed.
I mean I feel like walking away is the best answer. It doesn’t seem ideal. However what I’ve learned is sometimes the family we are born into isn’t the family we grow with. It’s hard. However being absent may be the only way to also get them to realize whT they are doing isnt ok. Or it may change nothing. Either way walking away from those who don’t respect you is better
Just have to deal with it the best way u can,been there with family members,time will heal but never remove the hurt, keep doing your best to have the best relationship you can with those involved!
Invest your time and care into someone else. There are so many amazing people out there who will genuinely love your company. Find your people and live your best life!
I don’t do well with grey area and neglect.
I will excuse myself and mines from the situation. Period.
The obnoxious treatment you are experiencing is grey area to me. I wouldn’t be on speaking terms.
It’s time to call it quits. It won’t be easy, but you’ll be better for it. Just walk away, if she later wonders why, explain.
Have your own Thanksgiving at home!
I’m not sure about your kid(s) but they do not need to be around toxic people, family or not!
You don’t have to say anything. They don’t care. I cut my dad off 13 years ago and we have been getting along just fine. Walk away from negativity regardless of who it is.
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I tried for 58 years to have a relationship with my mother. She was toxic and she infected most of my siblings. I’m finally walking away as it has taken a huge toll on my health and well-being. Don’t spend your life chasing after toxic relationships. It isn’t worth the cost. Spend your efforts and time on people more worthy .
I’m sorry hun if ur mum is doing things that upset u it might be easier to back away from her
Who cares. I mean start your own traditions. Live your life. Have your holiday with the people that cares about you and vise versus.
Cut ties it sucks from time to time. but family isn’t about blood family is who you choose to be your family
I hate to put it this way but, Toxic is toxic. Doesn’t matter if it’s family or not. Why allow that toxin in your life? Is it really worth all the trouble, frustration and hurt you are caused? Do for you!!!
You are torturing yourself. Make your own plans for Thanksgiving. Why wait for invite to a place that just holds hurt?
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Start your own traditions. She’s being petty and seems as if it’s on purpose. No need to always be the one to meet someone halfway and try. Sometimes enough is enough.
Wow that’s low. I’d say you are to the point of no return. Walk away for your health.
Repeat after me… “it is ok to remove toxic people from my life no matter the title they hold.” Unfortunately, some people just have to be loved from a distance, and that’s ok.
If nothing is getting through her, cut her out.
Time for some tough love. Sorry I know it’s harsh but gotta do it. Do it when you are fed up and done.
Why do you care? An adult has every right to invite or not invite who ever they want to their home for dinner. I think you need to stop caring about others behavior
When I figure it out ill let you know … my inlaws just informed us not only are we not getting my stepkids for thanksgiving which is our week with them…they are staying with them but also that their mother was gonna be staying with them for the holiday making it so my husband me and our child pretty much arent invited .
I think you’re mom has made it pretty clear that your not a priority, your the only one holding on at this point
Wow that’s not cool she’s obviously out to hurt you not make up with you ide say move on don’t torture yourself over this make other plans and move on not worth being unhappy your moms being immature not waste your time go be happy
You either have to just have the relationship you have with her, or just leave it and walk away. Assuming you have already talked to her about things you dislike, or things that are disrespectful, those are your options as I see it. If you decide to leave it and walk away, you dont have to say anything at all. Your silence and absence will say it for you.
Im sorry but he was once family rather yall together or not anymore he is still family family members do not have to break up with him too just bc yall broke apart.
You just said yall do not have a relationship soo why would she invite you ? 
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Just cut her off and let it go. I did that with a bunch of my family and ive been the happiest ive ever been since.
Sometimes in order for the tree to continue growing we must cut off a few unhealthy branches
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I just stopped talking to my mom years ago. I blocked her on everything and cut her out completely. Eventually she took the hint.
Sometimes u gotta remove toxic pppl from your life. Including close family members for your own well being
She gave you life but you don’t have to allow her to disrespect you as an adult. Write her a letter and tell her how you feel and if she wants a relationship with you, you need to sit and talk and you make the demands. That is a horrible mother!!! And please don’t feel guilty
I simply don’t talk to toxic family members, no matter who they are. Sounds to me like your mom is toxic so I would just take myself out of the equation 
I think this is were I would draw my line and be done with the lot. I’m so sorry hunny!! Don’t let them ruin your holiday!
Your mom has made her choice. Now it’s time to make yours. You are not to blame here.
Toxic is toxic hunny, doesn’t matter where it comes from or WHO it comes from.
If that persons doesn’t bring you peace or they are more of an emotional burden on you. CUT 
THEM OFF
You absolutely do not have to be in a relationship with anyone you don’t want to. It isn’t required. Distancing yourself for your own sanity and piece of mind, eliminating the drama, and protecting yourself comes first, even with family. I know what I’m talking about. I have eliminated my mother and one of my sister’s from my life because of their abusive and toxic behavior and my life is better for it. You come first, not them.
Walk away! Life is too short to worry about the relationship between your mother and ex.
I’d just stay away not bother because what kind of mother does that to their child? Cut ties and move on even if it hurts.
Toxic is toxic and you can never live a happy life with toxicity in it. And sometime the toxic ones are the ones we love most. I have had to make the choice to cut my own mom out of my life cuz all it did was cause pain.
It is ok to cut toxic people out of your life. Even if they’re family
Just donot call. Wait for her to call you… make your own Thanksgiving plans. What about your dad and your siblings.
I would stop trying and see if she comes to you she probably does it because she knows it bothers you
Sometimes you just got to move on from toxic relationships.even if it is your mom:
Walk away ! She’s causing you. More stress than what you need ! Although difficult just let go and walk away , you did your best . She’s the problem not you ?
Time to move on . Toxic is toxic even when it’s those closest to us
Toxic people are related to someone. Tell her how she made you feel, and keep your distance
I believe you have already made up your mind when you wrote “I’m done”. Now, act on it.
I’d say that’s well past enough. Cut her out.
Cut her off and stay away from such a toxic mother
Are there kids? Do they have custody? That could be why
Like YOU said, when is enough enough? When is he behavior going to be enough for you to leave? That’s the question you should be asking
I would say that is enough! Your own mom invites you ex and his wife but not you? Screw that! I would be done done!!! Buh bye!
I stopped talking to my mother 5 years ago and have never felt so free. Just some food for thought.
Your mother is TOXIC and its ok to cut toxic family members out of your life. Cut her off.