Cut that root. You’ll feel so much better. Idgaf what she is. My well being and happiness matters. Do the same hun.
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It seems to me that your mother wanted to have your life and she is jealous of you. The best thing to do is move on, and leave her behind. Living already in a different part of the country helps, her traits look like a narcissistic mother.
Snip snip! I hate that excuse, “but I am family”. Doesn’t mean you can be a garbage human
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Clear boundaries, don’t trust her with important things, limit contact and info or cut her off. I’m in the midst of this myself for the 20 thousandth time. Just honour your sanity and your heart. A love for a parent is hard to cut. Just don’t take on any negative emotions projected on you. You’re not crazy and you are allowed to have feelings and do what’s right for yourself.
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You have to take care of you and your family first. What are your needs? What is your husband’s. Your children’s? The stress this puts you under is beyond imaginable. Get counseling and make a plan that works for you. No one can tell you what to do as no one else has lived your life with the horrendous narcissist behaviors your mom has put you through. Good luck.
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The OG saying was “The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb” meaning relationships forged by choice are better than family. Just like that saying has been twisted out of context your mom will continue to twist/manipulate you. Cut her off and if she chooses to change you can then choose to let her back in but untill then family means shit if the waters poisoned
Blood is the most toxic. It is literally BECAUSE shes your mother that she shouldnt be doing these things but at the end of the day, she is…she does not get a pass because she shares dna. Cut ties and watch how your mental health skyrockets.
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You don’t have to deal with someone toxic, just because they are family. Remember that. It took me a while to realize it but I’m working on it now.
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I have this problem with my sister. She’ll lie and make up stories and creat drama out of boredom and is in general a very toxic person. My mother was the first to cut her off. Then me. Then the rest of the family followed not too long after. It hurts my mother still, it breaks her heart. As well as mine. But she has never really been a sister. A real sister. But my mother and I feel like a weight has lifted. She can’t bring drama into our lives anymore and its just more peaceful. Nobody wants to cut off a loved one. But peace is just way more important for YOUR family!
Cut all ties with her.
don’t tell her anything you don’t want other people to know!!! She has proven she can’t be trusted!!! Talk to her about the weather!!
You dont have to deal with her…like at all…dont look back.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the pope, toxic is toxic! You don’t have to cut her completely out of your life but I would definitely recommend strong boundaries. Once you set those boundaries, she won’t like them but stay true to you and your system. If she then can’t respect you, start cutting ties with her. It is one of the hardest things to do, it is family but is so so necessary for your own mental peace.
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No not all motgers are the nice sweet old ladies we would loke tgem to be. Mine was an awfull person, lied tgrough her teeth over everything. Next time yours says im your mother reply with yes im your daughter but didnt stop you being a bitch did it. Cut ties youll feel better without the toxic voice behind you
You absolutely need to cut ties with your mother she’s extremely toxic!
Mom or not, toxic is toxic. I’m sure what you’ve mentioned is only a small portion of what she’s done. Idc if she birthed you or not, if you don’t want her in your life, you don’t have to have her in your life. You don’t owe a toxic person anything. But you owe yourself and your family peace.
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Never let someone toxic hold you back! Take care of your family and keep your kids safe from the toxic
Cut the bitch off! You said it yourself,‘’she’s toxic’’!
Sometimes you have to cut people from your life even if they are family because they are so toxic that it can almost cripple you. You need to focus on your own family and leave the little girl feelings of neglect and in acceptance behind.
Toxic is toxic blood be damned. Family is people who care about you and help lift you up. Not someone who treats you the way she does. I cut her off. It doesn’t have to be permanent. Give it 6 months or so and see if she realizes your serious. If not give it a year and try again. Sooner or later she will get it or you’ll get tires of giving chances. Either way your protecting your mental health and your family from that unnecessary drama
Toxic is toxic, mom or not. 
Snip snip. I cut my mother out of my life and I feel SO MUCH BETTER x 6 years.
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What would I do? Never interact with her again.
Bye! Time to move on and heal!
Cut her out. It doesn’t matter who it is. Even for your children. If they’re toxic and can’t respect you… they need to go.
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Cut ties. Thats not a mother. She may have given birth to you, but a mom doesn’t do that to her child. That’s horrible.
Family or not if they aren’t good for you cut them out of your life.
My mom was toxic and sounds very similar to yours. I cut her off about 2 years ago. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made
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Cut her off and let her regrow and get more mature. You don’t need all the bs especially from family
Sometimes you have to love from a distance, this sounds like it’s one of those times. Your reasons are valid.
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Just cut her out lol I would.
Keep communication to absolute bare minimum. I talk to my mother maybe two times a month. I don’t bring up anything except for the most important things. I didn’t even tell her gender till after we had told others. You have to hold her at a 10 foot distance. It sucks. But you have to stop letting the "I’m your mother " card affect you. She hasn’t behaved like a real mother.
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Mother or not, toxic is toxic!
I have had to cut ties with a few close family members because of this and its been such a huge relief!!
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She’s a narcissist, cut that cord out will never change.
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Be done, you dont even have to explain to her, just drop her. You can explain to her if you want to. But honestly she has treated you like crap for so long, she doesnt deserve that. Live you’re life in peace, it may be hard and you may feel guilty but she is toxic and your children do not need to know someone who will only make you feel like shit when shes around. Your energy is important, your families energy is important… it will be okay. Oneday she may see how good your doing and will apologize, maybe not. Send her little messages here n there, dont tell her any important information, dont trust her with certain details. My situation with my mom is different, she has a favorite child and grandchild and made it clear. I definitely keep my distance now because that is what’s best for my mental health and for my kids. It sucks but it’s the way it has to be
Umm your children are worth keeping away from a women who lies and mentally abused you don’t subject them to what you had to go through cut ties. And explain to her how YOU FEEL and leave it at that block her for a few months maybe she change maybe she won’t she thinks she has full control over you still
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Do you want your kids growing up with a Grandmother like her? The damage she did to you, do you want it inflicted on your children?
Cut ties. Toxic people are toxic, no matter who they are. You don’t owe her your pain and suffering just because she gave birth to you.
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Cut ties. I know it isn’t easy, but clearly she isn’t respecting your boundaries
Not much of a mom from day 1. Does she bring to much drama with her, there’s your answer.
Have friendly conversations but don’t tell her anything important.
Cut her off!!! Doesnt matter if “shes your mother” or not. Sounds like she’s doing nothing to benefit your life in anyway.
Sometimes you have to cut ties, and walk away. Some people don’t get how you could/can cut your mom out if your life, but until their in that position, they’ll never know. Plus you need to think of your children, abs having her as an influence in their lives.
I cut mine off and the entire family! 3 years ago, this month, because I had my 2nd son. After many miscarriages and never being in my life. It’s peaceful, but very hard as an adult! Letting the toxic go was the best thing for my kids!! No regrets.
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Cut ties!! Even the Bible tells you to leave situations like that. Therapist would too.
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Do what’s best for you. Sounds toxic.
It’s going to hurt you at first just because the biological element is there but you must cut her off. She going to gain all and any sympathies from the ppl back home but that will pass eventually and when she receives less attention she might just realize what a toxic narcissist she is. Maybe it time to seriously connect with the non-toxic ppl in your husbands family. Try to not allow your extended family get in the middle of you and her either… more disaster! Just keep to yourself for now but don’t give in or up because you and your family deserve to be loved and honored unconditionally.
Even mother’s can be jealous of ther daughters:woman_shrugging:she’s toxic n never going to change …those ties
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Even family can be toxic…if you feel it’s just take time away…don’t involve her as much…I cut ties with my own family for over a year…went through birth of my 4th child without them…now I did send a photo when she was born but tjsts it and never responded…my kids went a year without seeing their grandparents and other family…now we’re talking agian and visiting…it took a good 6 months get back to where we are today…
Should have cut ties when you left home
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I always always found it difficult when people told me to “cut” family who are toxic out of my life expecially because life has a way of making you have to in some way be involved in there life at some point ( or at least in my case) but what I have learned is to clearly state what you what from your relationship and to allow some distance expecially with sensitive or happy topics. Learn to seek emotional support love and care from other people who are not toxic to you and who treat you with the respect you deserve and don’t have any expectations from your mom, don’t go to her when your upset, don’t get her to plan anything important with you or for you. Just stick to simple things that you can control when it comes to your mom. There still might be things that she does that might hurt you but it will be far less and you will have made it as much as possible in your control. It sucks that she can’t just be the loving mom you need but she’s not the one your going to get that kind of relationship from unfortunately.
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Blood ain’t everything I’ve learnt that. Mother or not if she’s toxic you gotta do what you gotta do for your own sanity. If she wants to pull the ‘I’m your mother’ card maybe she should try acting like it.
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Dump your mom. Seriously.
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Toxic is toxic, mother or not.
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Mother can be more toxic then anybody else…do what’s best for you and your family
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You are allowed to cut toxic people out of your life, dont feel bad about it.
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Cut those toxic ties✂️
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Cut ties because your mom will always make you angry for what she did to you in the past and she’s not going to change now. Or just not tell her much about your private life because she is a horrible person.
I cut my mum out 8 years ago and life was better from that day
Throw her in the bin
Just cuz they’re family doesn’t mean you need to keep them in your company. Yiu have the right to have a piece of mind and happiness with minimal stress so if she’s causing stress and not contributing happiness to your life CUT HER OFF
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You used the word toxic. Think about what that terminology means to you. Do you want that word in your children’s lives? Act accordingly.
I cut my mother out of my life, although it was a completely different situation. She was a toxic person. She died in 2014. It was the best decision I made.
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Toxic is unsafe. It might be time to cut contact with her. I had too to my own mother and my life has been happier ever since. Just find a very nice girlfriend that you can chat with.
Cut ties. You have every right and your feelings are valid.
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Regardless if it’s family , toxic is toxic !
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I would not tell her any thing if she ask why tell her she tells every thing .
I wouldn’t cut her out of my life , but i would not tell her everything and keep a little distance
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Be thankful you have her. Mine is deceased.
You can cut ties with people who are toxic, even family members
Remember the saying…burn me once shame on you burn me twice shame on me…don’t matter if it’s family either
Toxic is toxic no matter who it comes from.
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I’ve cut many fam off and my life is much more peaceful for it.
Your wishes weren’t respected, and feelings invalidated, and they do that your entire life until the point where you almost guilt yourself or feel bad for feeling how you do.
your feelings are validated. Don’t let anyone gaslight you
Put yourself first and focus on your happiness in life.
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She deserves to be kicked out of your life especially your children’s.
I had to cut off my mom because of how toxic she is it still hurts its been years but it gets easier and I know I did the right thing for myself and my kids in the long run and am protecting us as is my duty as a parent. Stay strong keep your head up and stop communication with her you don’t need to tell her don’t need to give her any reasons unless you want to. It’s your life and you deserve better. You can’t get another mother but you can make sure the one you have won’t hurt you anymore make sure she won’t hurt your kids and start to live more peaceful.
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When setting a boundary, you can’t control how others are going to react to it and it’s not your responsibility to manage her emotions/reactions. She is clearly toxic and it’s 100%ok to cut her out. You don’t need that in you or your new family’s life.
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Cut them. Going through it with my own toxic mother and have decided I want NONE of her sh*t anywhere near my child. She cried the whole time I was pregnant saying I ruined her life. I was 21 at the time. He’s 8 now and I have first hand have seen her say and do the exact same things to my son that she raised me on. I’m the one breaking the generational curses and getting alllll of the slack for it.
If she cannot be there for you and support you without any judgments, manipulation and lies then she does not need to be around your children. You do you mama and protect your family. It won’t be easy and you’ll be labeled the bad guy. But if you truly feel it is what is best for you and yours then do it and stand by it. 
Toxic is toxic!
Stop telling her everything
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Perhaps not completely cut ties, limit what you tell her, talk to her l her less.
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We love family members, even if toxic, FROM A DISTANCE. Make your boundaries known and stand your ground.
Now that you have your own kids, you don’t want to make excuses for her behavior just because she’s “grandma”.
F THAT.
Toxic is toxic family or not I cut my family when they were acting like this
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Cut ties, get therapy, live a happy life.
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Tell her the incorrect gender and make her look like a idiot. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Maybe then she would take a second look at her actions.
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You click on the big button that says block and delete, move on with your life. That kind of toxic does not become less toxic
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You live across country so yeah I would cut her off completely and anybody who associates with her or tries to guilt trip you abt cutting her off. Just block her on everything completely
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Your life is revolved around your family now, not your mothers. Keep ur secretes to yourself. Don’t banish her from ur life just make your little family the priority. If she tries the guilt trip, well you have several instances you can throw back at her why she’s left out! Drinking may b her excuse, doesn’t have to urs. We as parents always want a better life for our kids then what we had. Don’t let yourself become ur mother you love ur mom, she will always b ur mom, but ur have to keep ur own family happy n content. Keep her out of ur loophole, but keep her
She’s just a person that some what raised you. It would be a totally different story if she was nurturing, loving, positively encouraging, always there for you no matter how far you moved…but she wasn’t any of those things from what you say. So drop her like a hot potato or your children will be subjected to the same bs as you.
Cut ties. Family or not, toxic people have no room in your life. You aren’t overreacting, all of that is very real and valid. Im sorry you’re going through that. It seems like even as an adult, you won’t ever have a good relationship with her. And that’s on her. You moved away and still tried to involve her in your life and she put a knife in your back. Even if it’s something as simple as a gender reveal, she obviously can’t be trusted. Be like Elsa and let it go. You proved you’d be ok without her when you up and left across the country.
I cut mine out almost 5 years ago. 
My peace was more important.
She may have given you life but she’s not a mother.
Stop letting anyone gaslight you into bullshyt.
Set your boundary, block her everywhere & stop caring abt her rants & opinions. Nobody makes you feel some kinda way about you, unless you allow it.
You’re definitely NOT overreacting!!!
Your mother is the vessel that was used to bring you into the world. You can either talk to her or just walk away. You owe her nothing.
You’re not overreacting. If you get along well with your MIL, try reaching out to her in place of your mother. Or even your best friend back home.
Bye bye momma!family is not family especially if they’re toxic… do what’s best for you love and don’t tell her things
The Sisterhood: Daughters of Narcissistic and Abusive Mothers
You belong with us <3
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Don’t have her in your life. You don’t need her in your life.
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Your mom is toxic. She sounds like a narcissist. Distance yourself. Get some therapy. You will be better for it.
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Run and run fast! It was the best thing I ever did, hard at first but once she was blocked on everything, it made it super easy to move on drama free!
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I have cut ties with a toxic someone in my life. He just happens to be my son. But he has no respect for me and blames me for everything wrong in his life
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Sometimes you have to cut ties. I’ve been there before. Honestly it can make you feel so much more at peace.
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If shes toxic she needs to get mother or not…
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Stop letting her push your buttons. She knows how to get under your skin don’t tell her nothing you don’t want her to know let her have her little group say I have to love you as my mother but you don’t have to like her she sounds very mean and spiteful she has two grandchildren she could be mean to and hurt them keep them away from her she’s evil
Get counseling for and education about being the child of a narcissistic mom and cut ties with her entirely.
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