Growing up, my mom worked in a salon and always talked about how “bad” of a kid I was. But never her lack of parenting. It was always the hot topic… my life. But it didn’t just stop there. She always made things more dramatic and ONLY talked about the bad, even purposely embarrassing me by making me stand by a busy street holding a sign all day saying “I lie, steal, cheat” because I tried a cigarette at school. It was to the point where her clients would bring her gifts to help brighten her day because she had to “come home and deal with me”.
Fast forward, I moved out and across the country. I got married and told her 3 months after. I then had my first child, and she did the reveal for us. Unfortunately, the surprise didn’t work in our favor since the doctor told us the gender. But I still wanted to do a reveal. Unfortunately again, she told several people the gender, leaving out my husband’s family.
Fast forward again, I’m pregnant with my second. This time it took us several months to conceive. During my struggle, my mom would tell me “just get drunk and have sex, it worked for me every time”. I was sober since I had struggled with alcohol before, and she for some reason couldn’t accept that. When I finally conceived and told her, she didn’t care but raved about it to her friends. Now for some reason I trusted her to keep the gender a secret. She has not, shocker. Instead, she again has told several people back home leaving out my husband’s family. But this time she lied to me about it, and even tried to turn my best friend against me for what ever reason. I feel dumb for being so upset over something like this.
My mom is toxic and I feel like I need to cut ties with her. I just feel guilty because she always pulls the “I’m your mother” card. What would you do? Or am I just overreacting?
You’re not overreacting
She’d be gone. Fuck that.
Cut her off. Mother or not, She’s proved over and over who she is. You are not obligated to deal with that because she birthed you.
Just cause they are family doesn’t mean you can’t cut ties with them.
Get her a gift card to therapy
I cut my mother off. I didn’t need that toxicity around my kids
There’s a reason you moved across the country. She seems to only have use for you to garner attention for herself, and now she will try to do the same with her grandkids. Protect them by breaking the cycle.
Go low contact with her. Limit your interactions. Stop telling her personal stuff. Cut down conversations to 5 minutes or less. Stop letting her control your life.
My birther was/is as toxic as they get. I met her after I was 14. I really wanted to get to know her 
my mistake.
Anyways, after 6 years of bullshit I finally cut ties. She told me how shitty and ugly of a person I was and I told her goodbye. I dont regret any of it.
Either cut her out or learn to accept her for who she is and accept that kind of behavior. Its too much drama for you to let it bother you as an adult with kids. Try not to get so consumed and live your life as your own
Girl Fuuuu*k that. I’ve literally cut off family members for disrespect less than this
Toxic is toxic…family or not.
My husband doesn’t understand why I still try with my mom. I guess wanting a healthy relationship is why. But sometimes we know it’s not going to happen. Gotta let it go.
Cut ties. I did and it hurts but I am finally living MY life
It’s time to cut her out of your life.
Drop her / she is negative, nasty, toxic & jealous of you. I have the same problem with my mother to a point. We aren’t speaking right now & it’s nice & peaceful. I sold my house, left a life I loved to return to FL to care for her. Nothing is ever good enough for her. Now I know why her & my father could not get along. He was happy-go-lucky/she was miserable to be around. I don’t miss her yet, one day I might, but for now I’m loving my best life without her. I wish you peace & love. Don’t feel guilty & forget the I’m your mother card, too. Enjoy your life. We do not have to put up with awful, toxic people in our lives no matter WHO they are ! 
There’s a group for this exact thing you should join it it’s called Daughters Recovering from Toxic Family Relationships with The Undone Mama and second just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean she gets to treat you like a door Matt and disrespect you And your wishes cut her off and don’t even feel bad toxic is toxic no matter the relationship you deserve peace of mind and stress-free your mother adds to that just cut her off trust me it’ll be much better off that way
I’m so relieved my mom never talked down on me. My mom was my best friend. I’m sorry your momma is such a ***** sorry not sorry. No mother should treat their child in that manner. I would never do this to my children!
My mother pulled the “I am your mother card” and I still won’t talk to her.
My advice is to ask you to think of this: do you want her present in your children’s lives to show them that this kind behavior is acceptable? Is it worth teaching your children to accept toxic behavior as a norm and show them that, despite how much damage someone does, they deserve to be forgiven because of words like “family” and “love?”
Think of what you want for your children’s lives and try to make that what they grow up in. Surround them with people that live as good examples. Teach them that a toxic and closed minded way of life excludes you from some things that you may deeply desire. You’ve got this. I’m sorry it’s such a struggle, but you’re not alone in having a toxic narcissist for a mother. 
toxic is toxic it doesn’t matter the relationship. cut her off you and your family will be better for it 
Best thing I ever did in my life was cut my toxic mother completely out
I feel for you, my birth giver is the most toxic person I EVER had in my life and I cut ties off with her this year when she chose her child molester ass husband over her 3 girls! I’m 27 with a 7 year old and I can’t tell you how much better life is without her. I grew up with the same struggle telling me how bad I was, I was such a horrible daughter and person. I’m currently going to school to be a respiratory therapist and am way more successful than she’ll ever be. Just cut ties and you’ll be so much better. Best of luck 
Honey just because she’s your mother doesn’t give her the right to treat you bad. Cut the toxicity out of your life!
Toxic is toxic sweetie. Their title doesn’t mean they are entitled to you or your family. Cut her off before she can do anymore damage
Cut her off. It is THE only way to deal with toxic parent . I had to do it with my father.
I was finally able to break free when she abused my child over wearing play makeup on a visit with her and emotionally manipulating her over the phone.
She’s abusive and manipulative and you don’t need that in your life. It’s a process breaking free but worth all the work it takes to be free emotionally from her and free to be the loving, caring woman that you are
Toxic is Toxic
Mom or not
Cut ties babe that shiii ain’t healthy to have in your life 
regardless of if she’s your mother 
I would cut her off. Cut my parents off and it was the best thing I ever did
My mother is just as toxic I was the black sheep of the family and definitely was treated differently. My mom put on a huge ass show while my daughter was in the hospital passing away. She has talked so much crap n I called her out on it and it pissed her off haven’t spoken to her for over a year
Cut her out. She has no rights to you or your family. Toxic is toxic, family or not. You and your family deserve peace. Let her talk her shit, you know the real story. You don’t need her in your life and neither do your kids or husband.
she is using ur dont let her drag your down just make sure u give your children all the love and understanding.not every one can be a mom
Honestly I’d just stay away from her. Block her on everything. Change your phone number. I could care less how close anyone is to me, I’m too old for the toxicity and I refuse to put my kids in the middle of it.
Your mom and my mom sound exactly alike.
Doesn’t matter who someone is.
A toxic person is a toxic person.
Cut. Ties. Now.
Stop making excuses and allowing her in. You moved far away for a reason. She has caused you nothing but pain, grief, and suffering. It’s horrible.
Be done and live your life with your family. She will only cause you trouble.
Please read up on narcassism, narcassistc mother’s. You will learn a whole lot. You realize her behavior has absolutely NOTHING to do with you, & you need to limit your interactions with her indefinitely. They NEVER change! They are very unstable and aim to ruin your life and reputation. They absolutely hate the way others love you. Good luck
You can love her from a far. Toxic is toxic. You have to think of you and your family first.
Toxic is toxic. You have set boundaries and it seems like she has pushed past them time after time. I would try to have one last come to Jesus with her, but if she refuses to see the issues she has created I would cut her off until she can get it together.
The bible does command us to honor our mother and father. But you don’t have to be her friend.check on her,make sure she’s ok but you don’t have have to share your life with her.she is toxic.pray for her.
Stop telling her things to fuel her toxic ways !!! Cut her off ! I had similar issues. Don’t feed her toxic rumor mill !! If anyone questions you about rumors they heard about you then you answer the way you want , your choice ! I’m sorry you heard those lies , we don’t know why she says those horrible things. Could be losing her mind , Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, I’m not sure , I also don’t condone it. Walk away from it !!!
I cut ties with my parents for their toxic rate. I’m fine and have a much better life without the drama now.
I had to cut all ties with my mother for my own mental health. She was extremely negitive, toxic and nothing I did was ever good enough. I am a better person without her in my life.
This is all sad. Just be the best mom u can be and learn from her mistakes
Read ‘How to do the Work’ by Nicole Lapera
Put your foot down and cut all ties from her.
Cut her out of your life even tho she is your mom she is to toxic and a liar.
I lost my mom and what I wouldn’t give to have her with me! Don’t do anything you will ever regret!
Sucks to be in that situation…but if mom died tomorrow would this all be important?just saying… nobody is perfect or even close…at the end of the day be a great mom and don’t sweat the things that won’t matter in the end…
I’d definitely cut her out. You dont need that negativity in your life
Cut her out. Sounds like my mother, they never change, always negative always about them… I cut my mom our 3 years ago and my life has been so much better. Yeah shes your mom but no one deserves to be treated that way
Keep her at an arm’s length. Don’t tell her anything personal since you know she has a big mouth. Be careful how you communicate with her overall. Share the bare minimum with no details. YOU decide when you want to communicate with her, and even with using brevity, if the toxicity continues, decide then if your relationship with her is worth the aggravation and just be done. Best of luck…
Toxic is toxic just because she birthed you doesn’t mean she’s a great “mother”
Cut ties! Snippity snip snip snip!
I’ve cut ties with my mother. It’s hard but it is what it is
People are who they are, parents included. Deal with them accordingly. If a person won’t keep a secret then don’t tell them secrets. If she’s toxic in other areas, limit that access also. Keep it surface, respectful but limit interaction.
The narcissistic mother. She will just continue to drain you… which will eventually spill over onto your kids. I’d cut ties. An occasional phone call should be sufficient, to easy the guilt trip she purposely puts on you to get her way… if you really feel that bad about it.
I have very little to do with my mother cause of this same reason. My mother is very toxic and narcissistic she doesn’t like females she sees them as competition for a man’s attention. I lived with her constantly telling me that I was no good and I raised my brothers. I found it’s healthier to have little to no contact with her cause she isn’t going to change. Try having little to no contact with yours you will find your healthier and happier without her.
Mother or not Toxic is toxic and if you don’t want to be involved in and raise your children that then cut ties. It’s simple
If you don’t cut spilt ends of your hair they go right up the shaft and damages the rest of the hair,that’s all I would say
One day she’ll be dead and you’ll realize everything she did to hurt you doesn’t even matter bc you’ll do anything just to talk to her one more time.
Sounds like a narcissist… so sorry you have to deal with that. I had to cut ties with my mother as well. She would do the same things to me. It was hard but my life is much easier now
Mother or not, she’s toxic to you and your family. Cut her off. She likes playing the “victim” of her stories and such. Don’t keep talking to her if she can’t respect you as a person. She didn’t respect you as her child and she doesn’t respect you as a human. It’s ok to cut blood family off too if they are toxic. Stay strong and do what’s best for you and yours. I would have cut my mom off for how controlling she was and still it. But she learned that I will have none of it and I’ll leave/stop talking to her once she tries. I did it a few times and I’ll do it again. I’m not extremely close to her, but not completely cutting her out.
Doesn’t matter if she’s your mom. Toxic is toxic. She should have respected you more as her daughter. It’s a 2 way street. 
time to make the cut.
Cut her out. I cut my mum out of my life for almost 2 years. Best thing I could have done. It showed her I wasn’t taking it anymore. It showed her I had boundaries and wasn’t letting anyone step over them anymore. Let her use that card on you, show her it doesn’t work anymore. You have to do what’s right for you and your family right now. Not saying cut ties forever, just long enough for her to realize that you mean what you say.
If you want to keep her around you have to drastically alter your relationship to keep it healthy for you.
Doesn’t matter, blood or not, toxic is toxic. You are both adults now and you need to set boundaries. I don’t get along with my mother either. She is the only person who can get me to that level of stress and anger. I had to distance myself as well. I will always love her, but I can’t be around her. If you need to cut ties, cut ties. She sounds detrimental to your mental health and you are a mother and wife now. Take care of yourself and your family.
Toxic is toxic mother or not. You gotta do what brings you peace. Good luck and congrats on the new baby
Sounds like my mom.
Sorry my only advice is distance
Sounds like my mom.
Sorry my only advice is distance
Just stop telling her stuff that you don’t want known to everyone.
Start using your common sense she won’t ever love and care for you in the way you want.
You can still keep your mother just don’t confide in her don’t tell her your business or your secrets keep it cordial and light
Toxic is toxic. Family or not. If you dont cut ties with her, you will continue to have to deal with her toxic BS. I know she’s your mom, but when are you going to put your foot down and say enough is enough. You’re an adult and married. Live YOUR life. Your life will be better once you cut her off. I know people but shes your mom and you will regret it. But you have to do what is best for you and your family.
She sounds like a narcissist. You should join this group The Sisterhood: Daughters of Narcissistic and Abusive Mothers
I would’ve cut ties with her when I moved away. Long overdue.
So just because she is your mom you are ok with having toxic people in your life? Yeah thats not good enough. Doesnt matter that she is family cut ties
I don’t care who it is…Your mental health is more important than anyone in this world! You can love people from a distance. As a matter of fact, some people need to be kept at a distance.
I cut my mother out of my life and it was the best fucking decision I’ve ever made. They don’t change. They’re toxic people that live for being toxic.
The first paragraph was my mom all the way- not the salon part but always how bad I was always got brought up. Always to everyone. I still remember that shit. She never went and made me hold a sign but liked to publicly embarrass me in other ways. I feel for you. I would cut her off. My mom still irks me, but distance helps- and she isn’t as nasty as your mother sounds . If distance doesn’t help you then she needs to go completely.
mom or not…cut her out
Blood doesn’t mean shit.
Toxic is toxic and you shouldn’t feel bad for cutting that out of your life, no matter who it is. But IF you don’t feel comfortable doing that, I’d keep your distance. Treat her almost like an acquaintance, don’t tell her secrets and important info - don’t give her the opportunity to steal your joy in any way.
Mother or not, you can love them, but from a distance.
I cut off my whole family 5 years ago they were very toxic and bad for my mental health best thing I ever did I now have three gorgeous amazing children and none of my birth family’s toxicity xxx
Cut her out. Doesn’t matter who she is. She’s not good for you or your children
Toxic is toxic. If she has no intentions on mending the relationship and accepting she has a responsibility in the relationship, CUT HER OFF. Mother or not. That’s a headache nobody should deal with.
I have a toxic mother also just stay away as much as possible
I cut my dad out years ago and it was the best decision I ever made!! I was never a priority and growing up I even remember him saying he wished I was a boy… worse part is I have 3 younger brothers that don’t talk to him either… definitely a piece of work to say the least. Toxic is toxic is toxic doesn’t matter who it is
I have her sister as a mother, I think! I am now 51 years old and I cut ties about 2o years ago. She actually told our daughter we didn’t want her and that my husband wanted me to get an abortion. She said this to a child of 8 years old! That was it, it was over. Of course that was the opposite of how it went, we tried for YEARS to have our one and only. I DO NOT REGRET WALKING AWAY! our daughter now is 23 and sees for herself how she is. We see her at funerals and I just walk away. I forgave her years ago for myself, my mental health. Good Luck,
Sometimes cutting ties is best … it sucks but toxic people are not good for you in any way or your family … no matter who they are . She may be your mother and thank her for giving you life but let her go and live it.
You can still keep her in your life. Just don’t trust her with anything important. Healthy boundaries are needed in every relationship.
Look into therapy for yourself to help work through scars from your mom and learning healthy boundaries.
I would’ve said 
a LONG time ago.
Cancer can kill if not cut out. Your mom is cancer time for you to cut her out of your life. Do not feel guilty. No reason for it.
I have a similar situation but like someone said before toxic is toxic keep your distance and don’t tell her any of your personal information
Cut her out!! I’ve had to cut my mom out of my life and my husband had to cut his mom out of our lives. Sometimes toxic is too toxic. Do what’s best for you and your family. NOT her.
She’ll always be your mom but you DO NOT have or need to have her in your life if she’s like this. If she’s not going to do things that create a good healthy relationship with you, the oust her till she can.
The Sisterhood: Daughters of Narcissistic and Abusive Mothers
Toxic is toxic mom or not. Protect your children before they have to deal with her