My mother irritates me more than anyone

Growing up, my mom worked in a salon and always talked about how “bad” of a kid I was. But never her lack of parenting. It was always the hot topic… my life. But it didn’t just stop there. She always made things more dramatic and ONLY talked about the bad, even purposely embarrassing me by making me stand by a busy street holding a sign all day saying “I lie, steal, cheat” because I tried a cigarette at school. It was to the point where her clients would bring her gifts to help brighten her day because she had to “come home and deal with me”.
Fast forward, I moved out and across the country. I got married and told her 3 months after. I then had my first child, and she did the reveal for us. Unfortunately, the surprise didn’t work in our favor since the doctor told us the gender. But I still wanted to do a reveal. Unfortunately again, she told several people the gender, leaving out my husband’s family.
Fast forward again, I’m pregnant with my second. This time it took us several months to conceive. During my struggle, my mom would tell me “just get drunk and have sex, it worked for me every time”. I was sober since I had struggled with alcohol before, and she for some reason couldn’t accept that. When I finally conceived and told her, she didn’t care but raved about it to her friends. Now for some reason I trusted her to keep the gender a secret. She has not, shocker. Instead, she again has told several people back home leaving out my husband’s family. But this time she lied to me about it, and even tried to turn my best friend against me for what ever reason. I feel dumb for being so upset over something like this.
My mom is toxic and I feel like I need to cut ties with her. I just feel guilty because she always pulls the “I’m your mother” card. What would you do? Or am I just overreacting?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother irritates me more than anyone

I dont know if you have to cut ties. Set boundaries, dont tell her anything again and step back from her. Visit her once every 6 months :man_shrugging:

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My wife was in a similar situation. She chose to cut all ties. Ever since she’s been a happier person and has achieved more then she ever did while having her mother around. Some people are toxic and have to be removed from your life no matter who they are. Some people say oh but that’s your mother, it doesn’t matter. If your mother is emotional/verbally abusive then she has to go. You have to think about you and your families happiness. God bless and hope all goes well with you and your family.

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She was a biological vessel. A mother doesnt behave like that.
Get counselling and good luck

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No you are NOT. Your mother is a . woman who is jealous of usually just her 1st born daughter. She doesn’t bond with this daughter ever. She works behind the scenes to change people’s opinions of you to what ever lie she has made up or uses your past mistakes mixed with lies.

Stop chasing her approval!!! Stop telling her your business!! No matter what you do she will never approve of you and she will always be working behind the scenes to destroy your life.!! You need to be very careful with her contact with your children. she will do anything to steal and kill their love for their mom while attempting to fill those shoes for you. Even when they are adults…it never stops… Shut the door. Trust me on this. shut the door. eccept the fact that that this is the way your mother is. It has nothing to do with you. You can’t fix it. It will never change

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Cut toxic out, if they are toxic to you they will be to your kids.
My kids have met my mom 3 times and my oldest is 8, youngest is 8 months and the baby hasn’t met her and probably won’t……
mentally you need don’t need that all… toxic people tend to make everyone around them toxic as well. Good luck momma and congrats on being sober.

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Set boundaries, if she can’t follow them put distance between you two or ultimately cut her out of your life. If she can’t keep something private let her be the last to know. She may be your mother but she doesn’t have the right to ruin your life. It sounds like she enjoys the attention.

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Think of yourself as an adult and not her child. You give her the power over you. It’s your choice.

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A mother would never treat their child like that. Family can be toxic. Blood means nothing. Cut the ties.

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My ole lady advice is this… When people show/tell you who they are, believe them. So, she has showed you she is a toxic ahole, believe her. Yes it would be nice if she would suddenly start being a good Mom/human. But you have to understand that is not going to happen, and you should not be entrusting someone who has shown you they can’t keep secrets and does not have your best interests at heart with your secrets, mom or not. It’s kind of you to keep trying, but it is unwise and unhealthy. So should you cut her off or keep trying? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can still talk to her if you want to. But you need to limit what info you give her and the type of interactions you have, you have that right and responsibility. Take away her power, you control you, and your emotions. Don’t keep trusting someone who has shown you they are not trustworthy. This doesn’t make you an ahole. Or you can cut her out completely, it is simply setting healthy boundaries. Good luck.

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You are NOT obligated to keep a person that toxic in your life no matter who they are to you ! She is most definitely not your mother ! And she’s going bash you as a mom to everyone she knows and I guarantee that she’ll make shit up about you and your kids putting your family potentially at risk ! She’s dangerous to you and your family I’m sorry to say it but she is !!

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Don’t feel guilty. Not all women should be mothers and she is one of them. Cut her off for your own peace and sanity.

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No. Cut ties with her and seek out trauma counseling. Not only does this seem like abandonment trauma but there is some humiliation trauma in there as well. Leave that woman to her own vices and get you the help YOU DESERVE so that you don’t end up raising your own children who have to heal from their own trauma that your mother passed to you and you in turn passed to them. You deserve help, and so do your children.

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I have this mother.
I moved across country and created healthy boundaries. I’m best when she’s not in my life. I have no children and I’m not married but if those two ever happened she wouldn’t hear it from me.
I have motherlike females in my life that I have chosen to be in my life that are proud of me and support me and don’t try and gaslight or sabotage what I’m trying to do in life. My mother has a strange competitive thing towards me, mean girl like and I don’t have the time or mental energy to engage with crazy.
Best decision I ever made was dumping my mother. She doesn’t deserve me.

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I cut ties with my “mother” and never looked back. I have so much peace of mind and hearing my sisters horror stories to this day lets me know every time I made the right choice. Don’t let people guilt trip you into sacrificing your own well being and mental health just because you are their relative.

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If u don’t want people to know something, don’t tell them. She will never change. Set boundaries and limit contact. Sounds like you might want her to be something she’ll never be. Stop exhausting yourself trying to get her to be the loving, nurturing mother. Sounds like she’ll never be that. Take care of yourself first. Live your life happily without her if it’s in your best interest or she’ll have that same toxic relationship with your children

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I haven’t spoke or seen mine in over 6 years as the judge told her when she took my to court for grandparents rights she’s a vile woman and a detriment to mine and my children’s well being. Cut ties it’s only going to get worse

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What your mother put you through was first and foremost ABUSE. You have an ABUSIVE mother. As many victims of ABUSE you don’t see it. Please cut ties and get on with your life with your family and cut the ties with this ABUSE. If you’re struggling please seek counselling to help you.

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Toxic is toxic,mother or not. If she can’t abide by your wishes or play nice then see her out the door and out of your life

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Boundaries! I have limited contact with my mom. We talk about the weather & I let her see the kids. Other than that, not much. It’s sad but it is what it is. I have to take care of myself & she is a toxic person. I will do anything for her if she needs my help but I will not let her manipulate me anymore. Hang in there, you can do this!

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Definitely Set boundaries no need to tell your mom everything

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Please don’t tell your mum anything again. Only visit her every couple of months
My mum was similar.
For your own sanity stay away from her and don’t feel guilty x

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I don’t have any advice……I’m just so sorry you’ve been through that and still going through that. So painful when your mother does not support you. ((Hugs))

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Seems to me your mother likes drama but so do you. You know what she did last time and how she is but you still allowed her to do the reveal a second time. You complain that she ranted and raved to her clients about you but here you are on Facebook complaining about her. Meanwhile have you told it to her like you told these people on Facebook plain as day what’s going on? Why not you and her just be honest and stop playing games with each other. If that honesty leads to you no longer interacting with each other then so be it.

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Mother or not she needs to show respect if she wants to be a part of your life!

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Family doesn’t always count as blood. If she can’t respect the amazing adult you’ve become and support you then she doesn’t need to be considered family. It’ll hurt for awhile, but the relief you’ll feel will be rejuvenating. Once you feel better, and only if you can mentally and emotionally handle it, only include her in certain small details of your life. You’re an adult, she no longer has control of you and your life. Be your best self! For not only you, but your new family!

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You need to set boundaries!!! She will NEVER change.

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I cut my mom off 3 months ago due to her inability to accept her addiction and her nastiness towards me.

When I was a kid, shed tell me the drs wanted to do a selective reduction (I’m a twin) and keep my sister but not me.

Fast forward 24 years later, I said something to my dad and it never occurred.

Blocking my mom was the best thing I did for my mental health. I’m no longer anxiously seeing her calls and I am not being bullied by her.

I feel guilty almost every day. But I know it will get better and it is NORMAL to feel this guilt. You dont deserve her manipulation. Your children dont deserve her. Hang in there :sunflower::two_hearts:

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I’ve got rid of both my parents from my life because of their hell and causing me so much misery as stated they too never questioned their own parenting, I have siblings that don’t speak to me, but they are only young and still to find out the hard way, their dirty tricks and want for money, I have 4 little children of my own ranging in age from 6, 3, 1 and 4 weeks old, best thing I ever did was to stop letting my parents control my life.

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Blood Does not make a family .
But definitely have your serious talk with her and let it all out . If she doesn’t try to understand then do what you need to do

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Just because she brought you into this world, doesn’t mean she is your “mother” a mother loves, protects, nurtures, cares and respects her children. She is not a mother.

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Learn to set limits. Accept her with her faults and realize she won’t change. Keep her away from your in-laws. Learn to only share certain things with her because she will weaponize what you confide to her.

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Just because “she’s your mother” does not give her a right to be disrespectful to you. She’s projecting her hurts onto you. She needs therapy before there could be a healthy mother-daughter relationship.

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You can’t not and will not change her. Your only control here is over yourself, your actions and reactions. You’ll see things clearer with a little distance. You’ll know in your heart what you have to do. Her being your mother doesn’t automatically give her the right to treat you like that. You have the right to be happy, and to give and receive love freely. You shouldn’t have to chase or surrender yourself to get it.

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I would cut ties. A good mother would never treat her child like you have/are treated. And kudos to you for being different and seeing this behavior is not normal. Nothing is better then a loving mom. My mom was my best friend and I could tell her things in confidence. I’m sorry you don’t have that. But you can be that to your kids.

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No you aren’t over reacting. You are an adult, run your life your way. If mom can’t follow your rules, she’s out. Stand up for yourself. Be strong for your children. I had a situation similar, finally set ground rules. Mom became my best friend. I’m keeping you in my prayers.

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Toxic is toxic. Idc if blood is involved. Doesn’t make it right. As an adult, our happiness and inner peace is our own responsibility. And it’s up to us, and only us, to do what we have to to achieve it.

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Cut that cord girl!!! If not permanently try 6 months or a year and feel how great you feel. If not try small chats or coffee dates discussing nothing too private. Some people NEVER grow up or worse they dont care about how their actions affect others. Narcicists never actually care abou anything but their own wants/needs

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Your mom is immature. Take her for how and what she is…not what you want her to be.
Healthy distance can be a good thing.

I’m sorry she hurt you…there are some wounds so deep that man cannot heal. God can.

In time, you’ll get past this.

You’ve outgrown her.
A mother figure will be put in your path.

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I, personally, would cut ties. If it were my mom or not, i really do nkt that time, patience or the mental capacity to deal with such toxicity. I feel drained and tired all on my own don’t need that kind of shit from family or friends. So i would definitely have to cut her out.

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What gave me the courage was asking myself “do I want my son to ever be treated like this” and then I realised that he will let people treat him like that because I do and I’m his role model. I’m so much happier since cutting out the toxic part of my life, I have zero regrets. Do I miss them, yes but they weren’t healthy to my life and that’s more important.

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Do not feel guilty. My dad has gaslighted me for years and done and said some horrible things to not only I and my younger sister, but to other family members as well. It’s not worth the pain and it’s not worth the stress of wondering, “what’s she gonna say next? What’s she gonna do next?” I haven’t been on talking terms with my dad for 4 years now and it’s honestly been the best 4 years of my life. He won’t even apologize for anything he’s said, just says it’s everyone else’s fault but his. So my advice, cut the bad blood out before it destroys you.

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The nature of toxicity is the absolute truth that certain character never. ever. ever. ever. changes. When you allow yourself to “give another chance” all you have done, actually, is offer yourself as a petri dish for the toxicity to bloom.

#stopbeingapetridish

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She’s your mother yes. But she isn’t acting like one to you. Narcissistic abuse is for someone that does not know how to love.
So why do you allow this in yours and your family’s life?
It is not your responsibility to be the parent and show what’s respectful and what isn’t to your own mum.
And your not overreacting. I think you’ve been under-reacting for too long to be honest xx

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I cut ties with my mother. I’ll not go onto detail but it was very toxic and I had to do what was best for me and my family. Its hard some days but it had to be done. Not advising you either way just giving you my experience

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Ive cut my mum out of my life as she was awful and the relief that I don’t have the stress in my life is worth it , I get sad because I don’t have a mum but I didn’t really have one anyway with how she was , so I’ve realised I get sad for the idea of a mum not my actual mum , do what feels right for you , try space and see if you feel better but don’t feel guilty for walking away women like our mums are narcisse’s and don’t really care about us only what they get out of it , my mum got so mad I walked away she got drunk and messaged me she didn’t love me so actually helped me a lot to get closure lol without even knowing I was passed being hurt by her

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Any woman can have a BABY…but it takes someone special to be a MOTHER…unconditional love nurturing supportive selfless acts are all qualities of being a MOM…she gave you the best GIFT…life. You are a mother now so everything you needed or need now and dis NOT get… implement in YOUR children to avoid the repetitive cycles.

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Yes, let her go, at least for a season. And stop telling her ANYTHING; she doesn’t know the meaning of the word trustworthy. Suggest she get counselling, to figure out why she’s so vicious. And love your own family (husband and children); enjoy God’s blessings in your life.

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I had the same situation. A narcissist mother. Read about it. Limited my interactions to phone calls and 3 visits a year. Prepared my kids in advance for her criticism of me and of them. Still hurts but at least I maintained family ties. We went to her funeral. I gave a nice eulogy. I am proud I acted like a decent human being but I wasn’t her puppet. Lived a thousand miles away from her after I left at 21.

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If you feel like you have to cut ties for your own sanity and the well being of your family, do it. I did it 20 + years ago and don’t regret it. Just giving birth to someone doesn’t give you the right to treat them badly. Anyone who does that, shouldn’t be in your life.

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Good grief how many times do you need to touch a hot stove before you learn? Just because she’s your mother doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with her.

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Expect & accept she is who she is… you know how she will behave & if the event or aspect you want to share is fitting then roll with it.
Good job on acknowledging & setting your standards around drinking! That takes a strong person & awareness.

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Might not need to cut ties unless you feel it’s absolutely necessary. But maybe just don’t tell her everything or trust her with info you don’t want shared. And for your friend just give it time and explain to her what really happened. If she believes your mom maybe she isn’t someone you want to be around anyway . Just give it time the people that matter will understand. Hopefully your husband’s family gets it. Some people just never Learn im sorry.

I cut ties with my birth mother 4 years ago. My mental health is the best it has ever been. Don’t ever feel bad about cutting people out of your life that are toxic.

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I just recently took a step back from my mother. She was toxic for me and I was the only one getting hurt. We now only communicate on a need to know basis. It still hurts because it’s all new, but I can breathe easy without her judgement and mouth causing me pain.

Cut toxic family members out and don’t look back. That’s advice I wish I was told from a young age. Family is just an empty word if the members if it don’t respect and care for each other.

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In that situation i would cut ties with her. If she knows youve struggle with alcohol before and shes telling you to get drunk to conceive then that means she dont care. Theres moms and theres b…… with kids.

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You only get one mother. Honor her and yourself. You know how she roll , tell her news when everyone else find out. Love her but don’t let her state of mind mess with your family or your mind.

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You have a family now, don’t worry about your mother. She’s a big girl and can make it on her own. Visit her ever so often but leave if she starts acting toxic

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BOUNDARIES. Toxic is toxic plain and simple. Just because she is your mother doesn’t mean she is entitled to certain access to you. (Learned that in therapy).

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CUT HER OUT!! You deliberately set yourself up for unnecessary drama. It is hard. Trust me… I know. But sometimes, regardless of her being your mother… you need to keep your little immediate family happy and in tact. Do not let her guilt you. It is an unfortunate situation, but it what is best for everyone. Good luck!

You shouldnt take her crap enen though she is your mom. You are not still who you were as a teenager so she needs to get over that!!! Good luck to u and congrats on the new little one :slight_smile:

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It takes a special person to be a mother. Only you can decide if she’s earned that title or not. She still seems to be very toxic for not only you but now your children as well.

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You do not have to deal with toxic people on your life. It doesn’t matter if it’s your mother, father, cousin, friend whoever. Just because they are “family” doesn’t mean you have to continue to deal with her BS.

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Your mother is someone you’ll never be able to choose but you can choose to allow her into your life. If she gives more toxicity than love and assurance let her go. She sounds awful and I’m sorry you weren’t given the best situation growing up which has probably caused some issues. Love her from a distance and call it good. I’d never let her around my children.

Just because she’s your mother you don’t have to take that. A Mother is someone you should be able to trust. Who loves you & would do anything she could for you. Don’t cut her out but don’t take her hurtful behavior either & tell her when she hurts you.

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Quit expecting her to be different from who she has been your whole life. If you are sober and want to live a better life and be a better mom stick to the 12 Step program. Model better behavior for your own family. Quit chasing something you will never get from your bio mom.

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Snip snip!! I cut my mother out of my life for being a toxic part in my story for many years. It takes time to mend but it can happen. I’ve been speaking to my mother for awhile again after not speaking for over ten years. Take a break. Mother or not you need your sanity etc for your growing family.

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Just because she’s your mother, doesn’t mean you have to put up with her toxic behavior. It took me years to learn this, but when I finally did, it made things better for me. Also quit trusting her just because she’s your mother, she clearly has no respect for you, so don’t trust her with important information!!

Cut all ties. Do not wait for your children to experience that part of your mother. That’s the hard decisions we have to make as parents. You countlessly are put faith into someone you know will disappoint you. We do not have to “accept” any type of toxic behavior from ANYONE. Family included…PARENTS INCLUDED!! The mother you are longing for will not be found in that person…forgive her, heal from, and walk away for you. For the family you created. And I promise you will find so much peace and happiness going fwd.

Your family now is your husband & kids. She is extended family to you & doesn’t need to know every single personal detail. Treat her like any other acquaintance… cordially, courteously & politely but keep her at arms length. She can learn of your announcements along with everyone else.

I’m sorry but you are NOT over reacting at all. My mum would never do this to me. You have every right to be upset. I know it may be hard, but it may be time to leave your mum out of the loop

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Your mom must be a very unhappy person herself, it’s obvious she has deep rooted issues… however yes she’s your mom. If you feel comfortable enough, sit her down have a chat about how things need to change, let her know you’re serious. Give her that chance to change n see how it goes… if the situation doesn’t change n still makes you unhappy … distance yourself. Sometimes even the closest people, even family need to be cut out of your life if they’re that toxic. Good luck.

I cut ties with a toxic parent many years ago and my life is much better because of it. If your parent wants you in their life they should be a better parent and consider your needs instead of just their own

If she can’t show you love honesty trust and respect you don’t need negativity in your life especially your children’s you can always love her from afar

I walked away from my toxic mom a long time ago and never looked back. Narcissistic people always trough guilt. Dont let it stop you.

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It is a real shame that adults do not change the truth is you should talk to a professional and limit your emotions because In reality check she never going to change she has a problem that you will and never can change live your life and get a start fresh to not effect your children with the same surrounding make a positive change for yourself and family members this is the best and yes she is mom but limited the future interaction so the negative won’t follow you into you and your family life’s

You do not have to keep someone in your life just because they are related to you by blood. Family is the people you choose to surround yourself with not the people you share DNA with. Do what you need to for a happy life

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The sooner that people realize that the actions of others are more reflective of that person and their own issues, and not actually so much about them, the happier they will be. Clearly your mother has her own demons, she had them before you were born. Just focus on what makes you happy and healthy, and express your concerns to her to give her the chance to make corrections. If having her in your life makes you more unhappy than not having her in your life, I think you know what decision you need to make. Only you can decide. And it doesn’t have to be all or nothing, just know people rarely change so maybe you keep her in your life, but limit your Interactions and guard things that are important to you. Balance what you can.

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Cut ties before her relationship with you has negative effects on your children. You and your family will be happier. Good luck.

I haven’t had my mother in my life since my daughter was four months old. My daughter is now 22. Too much toxicity with her in my life and I had to make choices and she was one I had to cut. No regrets.

Don’t cut ties completely as she is your mother. A Psychologist one told me that God created 2 places in a child’s heart… A Mom and a Dad. When one is missing it hurts the child even after becoming an adult. You found you can’t trust her with secrets so you need to keep her out of the loop until you are ready for it to be public knowledge. In whatever areas that cause you problems set boundaries. In her own way, she loves you and wants to maintain contact. I know God will reward you for loving and caring about your mom.

Block her out of your life I recently had todo the same with my sister where she made my baby shower about herself and even went to the extreme of throwing coffee all over me right before the party started The Negativity is not worth it my sister will not be meeting my baby I will never forget how she ruined my first baby shower just like how she ruins every family event

:pleading_face: my mom is also very toxic and even it’s been years and years … even if everyone tells you JUST BLOCK HER etc I know how hard it is… I’m there with you, I cant tel you what you should or shouldnt do… but just know what I understand your struggle and the day will come that we will have the strenght to let them go … until then courage I’m sure youre amazing xx :heart: congrats for staying sober :muscle:t2:

Snip snip. Her being your parent doesn’t obligate you to keep her in your life, especially if she keeps continually showing toxic behavior.

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It took me until later in life to realize that it is perfectly true that so many learn what they live and can’t undo it. My mother was very critical of me. I was always trying to make her happy as a young child. When I was 10 (1953) I was paid $2. Week to do all the cooking except Sunday, cleaning, laundry and ironing. I could not even as a teen leave the house if it wasn’t done to her satisfaction. She treated me as if I was stupid. She was still trying to tell me how to make a sandwich when I was 60. I never turned my back on her but I did minimize the time I spent with her. She was not that way to my children. When she was old, I sat and thought about what could have made her like that. I realized her journey, my grandmother was the exact same way with her and I basically walked on water. For the first time in her life she talked about her childhood. My grandmother would take my uncle’s and go places leaving my mother home alone or with her alcoholic father. It was pretty awful. I wish I had known these things earlier so I could have understood that my mother didn’t have much to work with. It didn’t make her different but I dumped a lot of animosity and wondering why she did not seem to love me. It might be worth attempting a conversation about your mother’s young life. Then set some ground rules in order to spend time with her. She may never be able to have the kind of relationship you would want. I wouldn’t tell her any more secrets. That little activity might be her way of letting others think you are close.

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I was my mom’s good daughter. Seriously, never talked back, never did anything to really get in trouble, did what I was told, she made my clothes so when she needed me to try them on for fit, I was there, never squealed , helped in the house, etc. 8 years later my sister was born, she sassed my mom, called her names, didn’t help around house, got into trouble at school, she became moms best friend & daughter, I got pushed aside, so you know what, I was done, best decision I ever made. Mom died, my older bother & I were treated like shit, so I haven’t spoken to my sister in 10 years. Do what you have to do to make peace with yourself & be happy

There comes a time where you need to preserve and protect yourself and your emotional well being. Its up to what you can deal with and accept to the point of where it affects you negatively

Toxic is toxic. She already showed you that more than enough times… if she does that to you what makes you think she wouldn’t do it to your kids either js…

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We don’t choose who is toxic, but I literally quit talking to my mom for ten years. She is still toxic, but I have the control over answering the phone or not. Only because my dad passed and I felt bad did I try to reconnect. I’m older and wiser. I will not tolerate it like before. This is a very difficult decision and not an easy choice. Because everyone wants to share thing’s with the person that brought them into the world. However, you need to protect yourself from this toxic environment. Wish you well.

Oh honey, she sounds so much like my mother except mine was worse. I’m 68 and we had no communication for the last 25 years of her life. She didn’t get to be close to my daughter or ever see her great grandchildren. It was the most calm part of my life. It won’t ever get better so don’t wait as long as I did. You will be happier.

I don’t understand if you know she told your first and gender reveal why would you go and do it with her a second time you’re up already setting yourself up you do need to cut ties because she’s not going to change

I wouldn’t cut her out of your life. She is your mom, and if something were to happen to her, you would feel regret. You have kids of your own now, and it would be devastating if one of your kids would cut you out of their life when they get older. Your kids would possibly learn from you that if a parent does something that they don’t like, just disown them. Love your kids with the love that you always longed for, and your mom will see how she should have raised you. I would pull away but not completely walk away. Much love to you :heart:

I can understand your long term hurt and resentment over your childhood experiences. So sorry.
Your mother has a need for attention and drama in her life. You are her child and a perfect subject - you are it!
If you are happy in yourself and can forgive her bizarre behaviours when you were young then you can look at her with compassion. She obviously can’t help it and has a problem. Learn to laugh at the things she does because are they so important to the happiness of your overall life.
I know to put into perspective is hard for you because it’s like poking at the humiliation and hurt of your childhood.
You are in charge now so you are in charge of your own reactions.
Be happy.

Talk to her but don’t tell her certain things. My mom is the same way and I just don’t tell her anything. She was abusive to me growing up but will deny it and if she doesn’t deny it she will say “because I deserved it”. Yeah she’s my mom but she doesn’t have a right to destroy my mental health.

Honey let her go…you have your own family to grow and worry about now you have to think about them in this situation, will she be a benefit in their life, and if not she is not needed in your children’s lives just to act the same towards them….blood does not make a family, blood doesn’t matter in situations like this, don’t keep letting her do this to you, you’re not overreacting :heart::heart::heart:

Seems like she is a toxic and negative mother. I would definitely keep the relationship to a distance. She doesn’t act like a positive mother. And by your words she is doing nothing but hurting you.

Cut her off. Just because she’s your “mom” doesn’t give her an excuse to continue to poison your life with her toxicity. And you are now are mother yourself, and when your children are old enough, they’re going to start picking up on that, and I can guarantee she will THRIVE off of that. Nip it in the bud now.

For the life of me, I don’t understand all this fuss and whining about a reveal (one of the dumbest fads to sweep the country). Good lord!

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