My Mother Wants a Relationship With My Baby Daughter But Not With Me: Advice?

No way! If they arent willing to communicate with you and get over herself then she doesnt need to be around your daughter. That’s just my opinion.

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IDC who she is if she does not want to talk to you than she does not need to see your daughter

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No way !!! If she does t have the decency to be civil and come herself that’s a huge red flag and when that child is bigger she Will be manipulated by this and you’ll have no clue what’s going on. No offence I would have told my mom to screw off until she decided to be an adult about it. She actually has no right to the child even through court if she refuses to involve you in her relationship. And I also would t leave her alone with the child either. RED FLAGS. !!! Hugs. You are right. Stand tall momma you got this

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She has made a choice. It is already decided.

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I say hell no because if she doesn’t even want to speak to you she’s obviously not respecting her wishes as a parent and I would worry that my child wasn’t being raised the way that I wanted them to be. Been there done that thankfully my mother and I are in a better spot now

Never. Trust your gut.

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Not a snowballs chance in hell

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I wouldn’t because if there are any people you don’t want around your child, you have no say about it when your child is with her.

I’m big on if you don’t like me or respect me then you have NO BUSINESS having a relationship with my child. My children are mine and came from me they don’t need anyone blood or not who does not respect me as a mother.

She doesn’t get to tell you who is in your life. If she wants a relationship with your daughter, it’ll be on your terms. They are not entitled to a relationship just because they’re related.

Hell no. She better get herself together with that bs

No no no! If she cannot try with you, she has no business around your daughter. If she truly wants a relationship with your daughter, she will make an effort to make amends with you. That’s just ridiculous and it sounds like she’s trying to manipulate you to do what she wants. I would NOT allow your sister to take your daughter and drop her off at your moms, that’s just my opinion though

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She can’t have her cake and eat it too

Ooo hell no! It doesn’t matter who you are or who you think you are, if you are toxic to me or my children, than you do not belong in our lives.
Stay strong, your right and you know it.

Moms can be the worst. Let her be a “choice word” and move on without her.

She just the grandmother just being apt, personally would not allow her to be near/with such a toxic person. Good luck :crossed_fingers:

If she doesn’t want to be around you then she can’t be around your child either. You never know what she’s going to feed into the child’s mind

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Nope. She can stay removed. You don’t get to have a relationship with my child and not either of that child’s parents. Sounds like grandma has control issues and is better off not being part of the child’s or your life.

Your mother hasn’t been in the picture w your child long enough to have rights granted by a court- the most she could get might be supervised visitations and that’s only in certain states

Ugh if I can’t talk to someone I be damn if they are with my child without me. You are in the right and your mom is petty. Why mothers feel the need to steal the joy of their own children parenting experience is beyond me. I’ve dealt with plenty of petty Betty with my kids and I look like an asshole every time. I’m NOT sorry because that is my child.

Hell.no…and.your mother needs to grow the hell up

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No. She has made her choice, that’s not the business of other relatives to act as a go between. If your relatives respected you they’d stop that. It’s feeding manipulative unhealthy behavior.

I would not allow this if she wont see you with your daughter it’s a no go. I’ve been that granddaughter and it’s very toxic and bad for a child

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Plain and simple… no. If she doesn’t want you around she doesn’t get the grand baby either. That’s toxic.

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Grandmother’s have rights so she may get her way anyway

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She’s immature and toxic by the sounds of it and you’d be crazy to leave your child unsupervised with someone who behaves like this

Stay firm it really is her loss not your’s, your husbands or your child’s

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Nope! Would no way I would allow that

Absolutely not, if your mother refuses to have anything to do with you and your husband how could you ever trust her or want her around your baby girl? She’s the one who has been unfair and immature cutting you out of her life because you wouldn’t allow her to dictate who is around your baby! Enjoy spending time with your gorgeous baby girl and your husband & don’t let this ruin what should be the happiest time of your life with your lovely little family :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::family_man_woman_girl::baby:t3::sparkling_heart: Never let anyone tell you what to do with your child! You know best, trust your instincts! :heart_decoration::tulip: Good luck :relaxed::four_leaf_clover: Xxx

Hell no. Do NOT let someone take you kid to her. She sounds like the kind that would get her ears pierced or her first haircut while she wasnt with you. When people mention she wants a relationship with your daughter, speak up & say well that’s odd since she’s the one that walked away and leave it at that.

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No, she wants to act like a spiteful child then treat her as such. Your still letting your fathers girlfriend see the baby so what has changed? Your mother is missing out. She needs to come around and say sorry for being spiteful and only see your child on your terms

Your mother will eventually reach out. Wait.

Sounds toxic. I would not allow it. Sometimes children are better off without certain people. It’s your child… do what your heart tells you is right.

If she can’t communicate with you…then she doesn’t need to be in the child’s life.

My mother hated me but loved my daughter. My daughter spent many weekends with her. She died when my daughter was in kindergarten and I’m glad I allowed the relationship. She’s 14 now and cherishes the few memories she has

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Tell her no way.that your child needs a grown up.ugh

My mother in law abandoned her own son because we wouldn’t let her daughter around our kids anymore after she pulled some petty stunt accused me of drugging my kids and threatened to call CPS because I gave them tic tacs for leg cramps instead of Tylenol. We haven’t spoken to her in 6 years now and she’s never met our son. I’m sorry but that’s a hard no for me. Be petty somewhere else, I’m not into it.

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She can want in one hand and you know in the other. You are the parent not her. I implore never to let her. And when she’s complaining to other people its to get their sympathy. Very manipulative and toxic.

No. You don’t want your child thinking toxic behavior is ok.

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You are 100% in the right. And if your mom or sister make you feel like you are not, then they are toxic. Sadly family can be toxic, and it is ok to cut toxic family out of your life.

Well how can she actually fully be invested in the child if she refuses you and the father? There’s a lot we don’t know but if she can’t get over whatever it is with you and him then I vote no. She doesn’t need to see the baby. If she can’t be civil and have communication with the father and yourself then you should not trust her. Who knows what she may do or say when the child is older… she may be off the rocker enough to cause problems for all three of you in the future. You know her best. If your gut feeling says he’ll no then it should stay a hell no for life. She doesn’t care enough in three months but wants to tell others she wants the baby? That’s like the rumor mill. Once it starts it won’t end.

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No. We’re a package deal. If someone doesn’t love and respect me enough to be in my life, I don’t trust them with my kids.

You’re not wrong. That’s toxic behavior. Ignore her if she reaches out just to see your daughter. She doesn’t have to like the choices you make but to cut you out all because you let someone around your baby? When that’s not really even your choice because that’s probably when the father has the baby? That’s toxic behavior. Until she wants to sit and talk about your relationship with her, your baby doesn’t need to be around that. There’s no point at this age anyway. But when she grows up she could talk crap about this girlfriend and your daughter could grow to hate that person (or anyone else) if your mom says anything bad.

No relationship with you…no relationship with grandbaby!
Simple …you are package deal.

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Honestly you both sound immature. Sad how a child’s relationship with a family member can get ruined over pettiness. I feel bad for the child.

No not okay. You need to set boundaries for your child. If your child wants a relationship as they grow up no worries but this young not at all!

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Nope. It’s a package deal kinda thing. You can’t have one without the other. That toxic behavior shouldn’t even be around your daughter!

You’re mum is a toxic mole and I would never be letting my kid go near her. People like that are the ones that do everything you ask them not to do with your child. Yuck

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I think if someone is going to have your child you need to be able to communicate with them regarding the child. Think if you dropped your child at daycare, usually you say a few things about their morning like oh they ate at this time and they are abit grumpy etc Or information regarding them so id say your right…

I would bite the bullet and try to calm things down. The last thing you need is drama. Take your daughter to see her grandmother yourself and make an effort to smooth things over. If it doesn’t work, at least you tried. I wish you the best!

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Hell No. If she can’t respect you and have a relationship with you first she does not get relationship with your daughter. You don’t want her brain washing your daughter.

I wouldn’t let my kid around anyone that isn’t wanting anything to do with me. She isnt entitled to your kid and she should respect your decisions.

You’re not wrong. It would not happen, I would not be comfortable with that. Shame on her for being so toxic as to try and create a relationship with your child when she can’t manage to be a good mother to you. Please don’t feel bad this is not on you this is her issue. Live your life and be happy and maybe if she decides some day to be a better mom to you it can be revisited.

The big question is, will your mother respect your wishes in regards to the child welfare? Will they agree to not feed the child something that you do not wish them to have? Will they agree not to buy them things you have asked them not to? If the grandmother feels so strongly about upholding a relationship with the child, then it needs to be shown that they can communicate between parties what’s best for the child. Of course the mother and father have rights and so do other family members but factors need to taken in on mutual respect, ability to communicate the dos and don’ts and allow a relationship to develop naturally. If the mother appears to be anti parents then this could lead to emotional blackmail, mental health issues for all involved and create an unhealthy relationship for all. If the grandmothers reason is to have a loving relationship and show that the child is important than it surely could be done by putting differences aside and being civil the child’s sake. I personally do not speak to my father and stepmother but allow my teens (yes different ages, different situation) to visit and make their own choices how they feel and when any feel like too much bad is being said about me, they stop going until they understand the boundaries my children are asking for. I have a younger child who is 3 that they do not see as I know and have experienced their unwillingness to respect my boundaries with a child who can not stand up and say no, mum said I’m not allowed so until my little one is big enough to set her boundaries with my folks, then they do not see her. They still get photos from my others so watching grow up from afar, but my door is open to compromise and understanding and when they wish to sit down and discuss our differences then we will see growth and change. Do what’s best for your child first, then you as the parent and everyone else further down.

I’d wash ur hands with her. She made the choice and how does she think she will see baby with no communication with u or husband. That makes alot of since. But nah she can deal with stepping away and keep going. Cant pick and choose when to be there. U and ur family dont need that bullshit. Its ur choice who is around not her

Sounds unhealthy to me! Good way to start divided loyalties to me! Not good for you your husband or child!

Nope definitely not. If she really wants to be part of YOUR babies life then she needs to respect you and your husband and not act like a child and not want to communicate. I’m sorry but the way I see it is if you can’t be an adult enough to get over our issues as adults then you don’t need to be in my child’s life. You are her parent and can decide who is in her life and who’s not. Regardless of whether or not it’s her grandmother. And yeah she does have a choice here. She can either continue what shes doing and not see her granddaughters she can act like an adult and y’all fix things and she can then be in her life

I’m sure I’ll be repeating what many others have said but I feel like it’s worth repeating. Absolutely not. I understand what you’re saying about her being your mother and the baby will be with family and all that but no. Just No. What if something happened while she’s there? Then you won’t be called because the grandmother won’t communicate with you? So you have to wait for her to call sister or whoever and have them call you? Hell no! If she can’t even be cordial with you in order to have a relationship with your child then clearly she doesn’t need to be involved. I hope you are strong enough to continue standing up for yourself and your beautiful baby. Baby needs YOU most of all right now. Please don’t let them guilt you into it or beg and plead. Just say no. Lol, like with drugs :rofl:

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No you are not wrong! Your mother is the one with the problem with your father and his girlfriend and is taking it out on you, when your just welcoming your fathers girlfriend into your family. Your mum needs to grow-up and accept the fact that her ex (your father has moved on) and she needs to put all differences aside if she really cares for your daughter, and actually wanted to be apart of her granddaughters life. But if she can’t then maybe stay clear from her, till she can see where your coming from! Your a mum now too and she needs to have faith in you on your judgements with your own family. She does not have any control and a loving mother shouldn’t want any control over there daughter. I’m really sorry your going through this, usually having a helping mum around with a new born is a godsend. Hopefully she comes to her senses!!

No wayyy! I need to know where my child is going and who shes with. If she refuses to communicate with you, you won’t be able to check up on your child or anything. She also may do things you wouldn’t do as a mother, which would cause more problems because she refuses to communicate with you.

I guess it’s really easy to be like, “heck no because she doesn’t want to talk to you then she’s … and Principles.” I have other issues with this though. That is a baby. Going to be voiceless for a while. I see it as totally reasonable if you were like “ummm nope. I want to know where my baby is at all times and constant communication if I so choose.” She’s apart of you. I hardly see people have relationship with the kids and not the parents, especially if they are young, and that work out well.

As a grandmother and great grandmother myself i think your mother has NO right in dictating who is arounf your child. Your child= your choice. Ive always said to any new mum and/or dad, you can listen to all the advise offered but its up to you to decide what you do with it.

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Nope I would not be okay with this! 1. That’s toxic behavior ,all over your fathers gf. 2. With a young baby visiting someone who refuses to talk to you ,what if something happens? She will use that as an excuse to not inform you?that’s a big no no. 3. What’s stopping her from running off with your baby?? 4. you should always trust the person who is watching your child that includes honest communication. She sounds mentally unstable! She hasn’t attempted to talk to you so she can pout / pull a temper tantrum to get her way :roll_eyes: I’d cut her out of my life indefinitely.

No. Your child doesn’t belong where you’re not welcome.

No way! If she doesn’t have a relationship with the parents of the child she doesn’t get access to the child period. Especially with either parent present no way

Nope. If that person doesn’t want to have contact with me they damn sure would not be taking my child.

Absolutely not. She has no right to say who is around the baby unless it is someone who would harm them.

I would tell her straight up.
“If you cannot be adult enough to communicate with me, than you are not going to be around my child(ren). You can go and b*tch to everyone for not being involved and having a relationship. It’s your own fault.”

No. Absolutely not. Your child will never have a healthy relationship with someone who treats you unfairly. It is not fair to you or your child, furthermore it is your choice and not hers. Dealing with a similar situation… I understand it’s not an easy situation to navigate :heart:

Your decision who you want your child to be around

She has no rights, no visitation. Tell your sister hell no.

Absolutely not. Set your rules. She needs to respect your decisions. She needs to out aside her petty crap and let it go. She doesn’t have to be around them, she can come when they aren’t around. Id tell her, that im sorry she feels this way, but if she wants to be involved with your daughter, she HAS to be involved with you. Thats YOUR child. If she wants it bad enough she will eventually get over herself.

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You’re not the crazy one, she is!! Do not allow her around your child. She sounds so toxic.

Your not wrong. If she doesn’t want anything to do with you or your husband then in my opinion she shouldnt be seeing your child either. Thats just weird

Nope if she has no respect for you than she has no respect for your child. If something was to happen while in her care and yall don’t communicate than what? Absolutely not. Let her know when she can talk with you civilly than maybe she’ll be able to be in her grandchilds life.

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Absolutely not,if she can’t commicate with you or your husband she just wouldn’t see the child. Y’all are the parents and it is your choice who is around the baby.Not to be mean but I wouldn’t trust her to even be left alone with the baby in you’re on house.I think she has some control and mental issue! But know your sister should not be allowed to drop baby off to your mom!

Have a heart to heart with your mom. At the end of the day she’s still your mom. Think about it like this, would you want to be in that type of situation with your own child? Just let her know exactly how you feel and see if she’s changed her mind. At the end of the day, every child needs a grandparent to be there for them and comfort them :relaxed:

Stand your ground. Your mother is not in charge of who is around your child and at that young she must step up and come see you and your daughter. It is very hard to admit when you are wrong so gloss it over for her and invite her out to coffee or a picknic at a park if she doesn’t respond say you will be at x place for x amount of time and you hope to see her there. Do this a few times over the next year and try to get a few in before Xmas. Good luck!

No offence but your mother needs to get off her fucking jealous high horse. She sounds like a control freak.

You are not wrong!!! She is your child and not only that she is a young baby. Your mom can grow up, let you be the adult you are and have a relationship with both of you. Or she can wait till the child is 18 and try to make up for her absence then. She is not required to agree with you, but she is required to give you the respect you deserve. It sounds like she is immature and jealous about the girlfriend.

Sounds like she’s got the hates for your dad having a gf.Sad really especially for you and baby.Tbh she needs to grow up

Yeah…no your mom has to grow up. That’s your child and if she doesn’t want to see you, she doesn’t get to see your child. That’s not how it works.

Your mom sounds like a piece of sh!t. Since your sister doesn’t seem to see that you have another issue. If your sister doesn’t get it, how can you trust she’s not going to have your kid around your mom? This lady has some nerve if she dares to pull some court bullish!t too. Stay away from her and people that talk to her. She has no respect for you and your husband and clearly is selfish and only cares about what she wants.

sounds like your mum has some serious growing up to do, a grandmother walking out of her grand kids life by her own choice is dismal a mother who creates such hurt and unrest for her daughter is even more toxic don’t waste your time worrying over this enjoy your babe and your little family time goes way too quick xx

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This goes deeper than your sweet baby - but your baby is a good enough reason for your mom to get her feelings out about the rejection of your father and him going on with his life and you still being a part of his life as well and accepting his gf - give her some time to adjust to the facts at hand that you will always be her daughter and you will always be your father’s daughter regardless who each of them choose to be or not to be with and she can still be a grown up grandma if she chooses to be but until then let her ruffle her feathers by herself. Don’t let an angry grandma ruin the love and connection you have with the rest of the family and don’t let your child be used in that manner it’s her loss and eventually she will come around or I hope so for you and your sweet baby girl. Good luck and God Bless you all.

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I know there are 2 sides to every story but my child my rules. You are the only person your baby has to protect her. No one should be talking a 15 months old child with out talking to the parents.

Stand your ground hell my egg donor has not seen mine or my brothers kid and she will never see his she has only seen mine over messenger as I was showing my aunt her new niece

Your mom sounds toxic af. Hell no, if you can’t bother to even speak to me , to ask to see my child, you don’t need to see them :woman_shrugging:t3:. She doesn’t have to have a “relationship” with you guys , but she should atleast be respectful and mature enough to speak to you. I’d keep my kid away from that whole mess.

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Protect your child at all costs and don’t worry about other peoples weirdness.

He’ll no! She tried to control your parenting decisions. Couldn’t get her way & disowned you. Now she wants your child with no communication with you. Why? So she can do what she wants with her without your knowledge or input? NOPE! If it were me she could see my child with me as long as she respects my parenting. PERIOD. She doesn’t get to have her cake & eat it.

She is only going confuse her. Dont do it!

No is a complete sentence. No way in HELL would i allow that!!!

Your child. Your say. End of. I told my mum about her drink problem and she has not see her grandson for over a year now. No loss tho. Her choice. She can live with it.

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As a parent you will have to set boundaries with some people and its sad if they are someone close to you. But let your mom know what those boundaries are and if she agrees to them then everyone wins. If not, then it will be sad for everyone involved

Sorry you’re going through this. But no I wouldn’t let my child go with someone, even my mother, if she didn’t want to have communication with me or my husband. Safety and just the well being of my child. Obviously, your child will learn that your relationship with her is broken and who’s to say your mother won’t speak foul of you and your husband to her. No need to confuse your child.

Thats YOUR child. Period.
If someone take your child and goes against YOUR wishes, they’re part of the problem.
Don’t let people bully you because you stand by your rules for your human. You’re responsible for that human.
Absolutely not. Stand up for yourself and be firm on your no.

You’re not wrong she needs to grow up

Nope. She needs to make an effort to have a relationship with you or she does not get the privilege or spending time with your baby. I would have never left my infant with someone I can’t communicate with. I wouldn’t let my child go with anyone that I don’t fully trust 100% and can talk to every second my child is in their care. I don’t care if it’s your mother. Just bc it’s your mother doesn’t mean you are required to do anything for her. She’s going to have to get over herself and her jealous control issues.

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No I would not be comfortable with a family member taking a 15 week old away from me for most reasons, but especially not to someone who won’t even talk to me. She said she doesn’t want the role of grandmother, so she doesn’t get it.

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Yes you are very right

Your mothers loss. Give her a wide berth.