My neighbor always let's their grand-daughter enter my back yard without permission: How should I handle this?

I have an elderly neighbor who’s granddaughter is always with her. When my kids & I are outside, the little girl will invite herself over & open my fence gate & come play with the kids. I’m ok with it sometimes. But other times I get frustrated because she doesn’t ask & her grandparents don’t ask or say anything either. There are times my fiancé and I are doing yard work for example & I feel like I have to stop what I’m doing & watch her & my kids (yes I keep an eye on my kids all the time while they are outside, but when she’s over she plays very rough with my youngest & pushes him around. She also will open my gate (my kids don’t know how) & leave it open & my two years old will try to leave. I don’t know how to go about this because she’s not my child & I tried explaining these things to her, but she doesn’t listen. & when she’s over here, I feel like she’s my responsibility. I also don’t know how to go about the whole “asking before you come” situation. As I said, I don’t mind sometimes. But it’s just about every day this is happening.

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Talk to the grandparents. Or put a lock on your gate.

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Put a lock on the gate.

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Well it’s a all the time or no time!! You set the standard!! Don’t be all well sometimes it’s okay but… how do you except a grandma or anyone else to do what you think or day to the next

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Speak up to her grandparent. Kids aren’t going to understand. Explain that she needs to be invited over and cannot leave your gate open. You’re not responsible for her well-being; her grandparents are.

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Tell her to knock on the front door

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If you keep letting it happen it’s never going to stop. Speak up

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Talk to the grandparents

Your being ridiculous, if you don’t want her there then don’t let her, children don’t understand that sometimes game your trying to play… If you don’t want her there lock your gate

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Put a lock on the gate!! Problem solved!!!

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Get a lock on your gate. If granny mentions it expin you arent child care or a park.
Sounds like granny tells her to because she wants the break. It’s so rude and is tresspasing. She’s teaching the child it’s OK to go into someome else’s property. Stranger danger needs to be taught as she could feel its OK to go to any one with kids with them

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I have a lock on my gate that you can’t open without the key

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Put a lock on your gate.
Speak to her grand parent

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Lock your gate and talk to your neighbor

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Install a lock that she can’t open

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Talk to the grandmother, obviously.

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Tell the grandparents you dont line watching her but they will have to start paying you for the service. They will probably watch her more closely

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Why on earth would you be afraid to speak up? It’s a safety issue and a boundaries issue. Knock on their door, say NO, and go home.

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Put a lock on it and say it was necessary because your kids were starting to open it.

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Put a lock on the gate

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Put a lock on the gate simple

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Put a lock on the gate where she cant open it

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Wow. Its not your responsibility to put a lock on your gate. Tell her grandparents to please ask you before letting her come over. And it doesn’t have to be always or sometimes either. Somedays work and some don’t, thats normal.

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Can you put a lock on your gate! Tell her (them) that it is FaMiLy day only! Don’t let them take advantage of you!

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As adults sometimes we have to say things that can make us uncomfortable but you have to talk the the grandparent, set your boundaries and let them know what is ok and not ok otherwise you’re going to be miserable

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Put a lock on gate ! And put a bell for her to ring ! Or best remove the gate and close it up!

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Well you have three options from were I’m sitting: 1) suck it up and talk to the grandparents or 2) put a lock on the inside of the gate, so that she’s unable to “invite” herself over. 3) leave it alone and let her keep invading your space.

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  1. We have locks on our gates so our kids can’t get out. But it may help to keep others out. Lol.
  2. We have found that kids who lack parenting don’t mind being parented. We have a neighbor boy who does what he wants and has no parent supervision so in my yard, we discipline. We also aren’t afraid to say No to play and ask to leave if we have to. The likelihood that girl will say anything is low. And if she does the parents may talk to you and you can air out how you feel.

Lock the gate. *for sanity & insurance purposes :wink:

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Get a lock on the gate.

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Put a lock/hard to open gate.

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I’d politely walk the child back to her grandparents front door and ask them to keep her at home for a change! What’s with this being scared to speak up?

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Put lock on gate and go have a talk with neighbors about the kid wandering around in strangers yards.

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Possibly can write a note and send it back with her to give to her grandma with your number and explain on the note that you would appreciate a text to ASK if she can come play and if it’s a good time?

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I vote to lock the gate and talk to the grandparents. Explain you’ve already talked to her and she chooses not to listen or follow your rules while she’s a guest at your place so you have to take proper precautions. Not to mention it’s probably exhausting for you to have to worry about it, if she gets hurt on your property it’s your problem. Again, she’s a guest she should always ask or be invited before coming over.

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Put a lock on the inside where she cant get in and you kids cant get out.

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Lock the gate talk to the grandparents and set boundaries such as; permission must be requested and granted, as well as they need to speak with her about the rough play, maybe exchange phone numbers. I had a similar situation and a simple talk with the parent put a stop to randomly dropping her son off without any knowledge beforehand

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Buy a big ass dog :tipping_hand_woman: I’ll let myself out :woman_facepalming::joy:

Due to covid sorry you must social distance?

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Lock everything :joy: Fence up your front yard too. Put a sign that says No Strays Allowed.

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I’d speak up because you are legally responsible if she’s there. They need to ask, they know better. Do they want people randomly hanging out in their yard?!?

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It’s not rude to tell the child to make sure she closes your gate if she opens it. If shes coming through it, its respectful to shut it behind her. Its also not rude to stop her sometimes and tell her “sorry sweetie, not today. We’re doing family things.” Just because you have kids does not mean it’s okay for her to learn not to respect other people’s spaces. I had a neighborhood kid coming over constantly. He’d be sitting outside my house even when my kids were gone. Either that, or he’d pop up in my yard somewhere when I was working outside. I had to tell him to go to my front door from now on and knock. If we’re available for company, we’ll open it and let him know…and that if we dont answer, we arent available and dont come wandering through my yard. This was after he almost saw me naked one day. I was in my garage, in my backyard, through TWO locked gates, and the door was shut…I had just got out of the pool, and rather than go inside wet to change, we usually just go to the garage because its closer and we dont track water inside…I was just finishing changing, and he popped up into my garage. He had jumped both locked gates to get there. He said he hadnt wanted to knock because he didnt know if anyone was home, so he just wanted to check and see…that was a nope from me🤷‍♀️

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Put a lock on the gate and go speak with the grandparents.

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Put a lock on the gate. She will have to ask to be let in

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Put a lock on the i side of the gate

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I get this…moved into a house once and the 1st day a little girl came over from across the way. Sweet as I thought but strange she doesn’t know us but I guess not everyone parents the same as me and wants to know who with and where there kids are. It got bad after a while I would have to tell her its home time everyday as she would just stay with us.her parents never checked on her and she would be there all day.i waited one day to see if someone would come get her…it was 7.30pm and I sent her home coz her mum didn’t come for her. Sometimes I would have to say hey sweet we are having a family day today so u cant play today. I would feel so stink. If I had a gate I would put a lock on it.

lock your gate from the inside and post on the outside a No Tresspasing sign on the outside

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Put a lock on your gate

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For everyone that is saying she’s being ridiculous, go back to your corners Karen. I’m having the same problem with my neighbors kids. They come over whenever, their parents are never outside with them, and they try to get my 2 and 3 year old over in their yard after I specifically say no because the youngest of their kids are really mean to my 2 year old and what doesn’t help is English is their second language. To the kids it’s all a fun time but for me I don’t like seeing another kid rough up my children nor just come over whenever.

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You are a big girl now with big panties on…now go over there & talk to the grandmother & put some sort of lock on the fence

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Talk to Granny put a lock up higher

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Just ask them to ask because u love kids but not always keep it friendly

. Or lock from inside now u dont have to say anything

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Just go over there and let your neighbor know that you’re not going to be responsible for their grandchild anymore.

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Your right to set limits. Your not a free daycare center. I would tell the grandparents that if they can’t watch her anymore you understand but you charge by the hour for daycare. That should cut down on their bs. She also needs to understand boundaries and saying no this is my home please don’t let yourself in.

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Create some activities that are really messy so when she goes back it’s a chore for them to clean her up lol. She shows up muddy back home a few times and they may stop letting her come over.

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Put a lock on the gate and explain to the grandparents that she is welcome to play when you aren’t having family time but that the gate will be locked as you are worried about your 2 year old getting out. That way, you can control when and for how long she is there and your kids are safe and can’t come to any harm.

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Tell grandma straight up. That’s what I did now neighbor knocks my front door and asks if kids can come out to play

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Lock the gate. Tell the child now isn’t a time for visitors.

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Fix the lock. Also, remember that if the parents are watching her, she may actually “need” you.

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That’s a conversation for her grandmother

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Put a lock on your gate. That way they have to ask

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Get a lock for your gate and talk to them in a nice way but be blunt. I had this problem too.

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No one of my neighbors kids went missing and they came knocking on my door thinking the child was in my house and she was not , it’s dangerous and you have to tell her guardian or whoever is watching her they need to ask you first.

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Put a lock on the gate and tell her that she has to ask and be granted permission before she is allowed to come into your yard.

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We have a padlock on ours

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Stop saying “Lock The Gate” And Be Damn grown up and go talk to the grand parents.

If talking to the kid didnt work then talk to the grandparents.

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Put a lock on the gate from the inside.

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Lock the gate, talk to the grandparents

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Well if youre ok with it one day and not the next then how are they supposed to know the difference? Poor kid just wants to play.

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Lock your gate that should send the message she cant just come into your yard . Something happens to that child they will be looking to sue you

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Have you considered locking the gate when you need to and unlock it when shes welcome.

Put a lock on the gate and tell the grandparents they need to ask you before the little girl comes over.

Put a lock in the gate

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Get a lock for the inside of the gate and speak with the grandparents tell them they need to call or come over and ask before they just let her come on your private property because it’s not fair to your family to be expected to care for a child they don’t even really know. I would also maybe leave a note on outside of gate stating private property and you must have permission to enter. If after all that she still does it I would just leave the gate locked and refuse to let her come over until they ask first

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This exact same thing is posted on another group that I am in…

Change gate lock. And if situation comes up from the grand-parents simply respectfully explain why. You have to protect your children and property. I Hope matters get solved and everyone has peace :v:t2:

Put a lock on your gate. If she gets hurt they can hold you liable.

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New locks for the gate. And go over there and let them know that you refuse to be responsible for another child God forbid something happen, they can and will blame you. Your not doing it to be mean. It’s just another child’s life you are responsible for God forbid she leave your property and go missing they are going to blame you. I don’t understand how parents or guardians don’t watch their kids. I live in apartments and we would go outside daily, but had to put a halt to it. The upstairs neighbor thinks it’s okay to send her kid (3yrsold) while we are out there. I didn’t see anything wrong with it at first but then she mentioned he had a heart condition and passes out I don’t run after my kids let a alone a strangers kid. This little boy runs off far from where my kids are allowed to play and we are right by a busy road. I’m pregnant and my kids know where they are allowed to play, so they don’t have me running up and down. I refuse to be running up and down for a child whose parents don’t have the courtesy to sit and watch their kids outside with complete strangers.

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Talk to the grandma. Maybe leave her your number so she can call or text to see if the child can come play. If that doesn’t work, just politely send her home. Hope it works out.

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Lock the gate. That simple

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That’s so frustrating. Lock on the gate. It will force them to come over and ask.

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Walk her back home and say she came over but now is not a good time. And say bye. And go home.

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I had this happen to me. Get yourself a lock. Then she won’t be able to come in and your kids will be safe to

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Put a lock on gate low enough so she can’t reach it.

We had neighbors like this once. Once, the kids were being awful, so I told them to go home. They told me that their parents sent them over, and they weren’t to come home until 5. I was livid, but managed to calmly explain to the parents that I am not running a free daycare, and I don’t mind them coming to play when they are behaving, I don’t even mind feeding them, but I do mind them being told to stay at my house until 5, without any communication. I have every right to send them home. If they want a sitter, they can communicate that to me, and I can then discuss my willingness and my wages.

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Put a lock on the gate & speak to the grandma and tell them they need to check with you before she comes over.

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If shes there now, she might come over when your gone and then you could have big problems.

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If that child gets hurt on your property, they can sue you. Definitely get a lock. Lock from your side. Then you needn’t say a thing.

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Lock the gate politely talk to the grandparents

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Put a lock on the gate

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Get a lock for your gate.

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Can you raise the lock on the gate so she cant reach it.?

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Lock your gate. We are raising our Granddaughters and don’t allow them to wander or let others in.

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I agree with with you Neyvia Guerra,Christina, others.

I would put a lock on the gate and make it to where she HAS to ask. The very first time she left the gate open with my toddler out wouldve been the last time.💁

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My son does this to our neighbor. For instance, Ill be in the kitchen and he will just sneak out. We live on a major busy street and addressed this. Now, if he wants to go over there, I have to walk him there and speak to an adult personally or its a no go. My baby is 5 his brother is 1 so its kind of like only child syndrome stuff. Shutting her out may cause emotional problems. My first reaction to my son was your never going again and it caused his to act out more and test me with the front door. Point is, maybe take the 2-3 minutes and go talk to her grandma. Invite her over to help. It can be the start of something new and itll help build that lil girls self estem. If your worried about being sued, have the grandma sign a waiver releasing u of liability

Simple just lock the gate :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

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Speak to the grandmother

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