My neighbor yelled at my kids from over the fence: What should I do?

I would have words with any neighbor that thinks they can directly address my son, especially like that.

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Shouldn’t they be at school at 1pm

He told you not to cause issues when it comes to somebody yelling and cussing at your children? Sounds like neighbor already STARTED the issue. Your hubby wouldn’t want any of our advice. Cause we’ll tell you what to do. :face_with_peeking_eye:

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I’d say something. Have the kids stay inside if they can’t stop yelling at eachother… However… hell no. No one would talk to my children like that. They could have said that in so many other ways. I’d handle it, because now the neighbor thinks they can talk to your children anyway they want.

I would ask them to address you not your kids. They were out of line but maybe they’re letting this really bother them - after all it is your job to have your kids be respectful of neighbors. No one likes constant noise.

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If it didn’t involve cursing at your kids I may say leave alone the first time. But she cursed at them and that’s a whole other level. I’d def go over there and knock on her door and have a conversation.

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Two wrong don’t make a right. Your kids should be supervised and expected to behave outside within reason; they are YOUR responsibility. But she was out of line to swear at them and should have asked you politely; she may work from home or something but should have politely asked you to handle it.

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Those are your kids. Nobody will ever abuse my child. Verbally or otherwise, unless they wanna get Thier teeth kicked in. Maybe your boys were being loud but they are just children, that fact remains. She could have spoken to them properly doesn’t matter how loud they were being. You’d better knock on that door lady. Blood is always thicker than water and if they see momma got their back, they’ll always have each others back.

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like others say, maybe she works nights, but that is definitely not the way for her to deal with it. Kids are kids, they make noise, does she expect you to gag them

Tell the kids to quiet down

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I would be outside with them while they are playing outside tomorrow. And see what she has to say then.

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:raising_hand_woman:t4:I used to live in an upstairs apartment with my 4 year old daughter, and I had this neighbor downstairs who was really weird, and I would constantly hear her yelling at her young son like at 2 in the morning, which already made me feel some type of way towards her. So one day my good friend was over with her teen daughter and left for maybe 20 minutes to Target to go grab something I needed, and told the girls to not open the door to anyone, and we’d e right back shortly. Well when we got back our daughters were so freaked out because this lady for some reason decided right after we left to go up to my apartment and start pounding my door, and yelling. The girls hid until we got home, and proceeded to tell us what happened. I was infuriated to put it lightly. So my friend and I went downstairs and I confronted her which she admitted that she had gone upstairs and was “looking for me”. I basically put her in her place, and told her that if she ever went up to my apartment like that again, and scared my child that she was going to have a serious problem with me. She was so scared, that she apologized and never went to my apartment again​:woman_shrugging:t5:

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I would have flipped out right then, from your yard. Knoxking on their door probably won’t go well and if she attacks you and you defend yourself you were on their property. However, I would not be okay with anyone talking to my kids like that, regardless. Your kids can make all the noise they want until 10:30pm.

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She could of handled her words better. But I’ve always made my kids be mindful of neighbour’s. Who knows if there’s a old lady who doesn’t sleep at night or a mum who has a new baby someone on night shift. I get sick of listening to their noise to :rofl::woman_facepalming:

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Handle it! damn it , grow some balls! Do ya really need advice from other people? That’s sad!!!

I’d try and talk to the neighbor first off understand maybe why it was driving her nuts, she may work the night shift and be trying to sleep?

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First having your kids being so loud is rude, but having your neighbors swearing :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: at them should also not be acceptable. I would in force the kids to quiet down manners then I go over to the neighbors to apologize for them being so loud but swearing at them is not acceptable so please refrain from doing so thanks. At that age I would make the kids apologize to them as well, maybe make cookies makes everyone happy for an apology. But up to you, it’s your choice don’t want the police to get involved either from noise complaint to harassment from the neighbors even if they are a drunk. ( exemple)

There’s being disrespectful and then there’s kids being kids. Don’t wanna hear kids in a neighborhood? Move to the country. Same time though if your kids are outside fighting "just letting them get on with it " is not the way to do it. Although kids will be kids allowing them to fight like that and not doing anything about it is making it other people’s problem later on in life.
But if it bothers them that much they should have the respect to come speak to the parent not cuss at 2 children under 10. Seems to me the neighbor is disrespectful. And you need to tell your husband to stick up for his kids coz it seems more like he’s more worried about the neighbors opinion than some random cussing at his kids

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I’d go have a word, her swearing at your kids isn’t acceptable BUT I also think she shouldn’t have to listen to your kids constantly fighting, that’s enough to drive anyone insane so you do need to address that, rather than ignoring the constant fighting set consequences like if they fight they have to come inside.

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Best way to deal with it is to teach your children to respect others and understand that other people deserve to be able to enjoy their yard and their home without listening to that nonsense.

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Husband is a weiner. Let’s start there. I’m banging on all doors, windows, doggie doors, all of the mf above , cuz ain’t no neighbors gonna be cursing at my kids . Neighbor already started the issue when she opened her mouth to yell at some kids in their own yard doing nothing but being kids

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I get tired of hearing my own kids fight, so I’m sure others would too

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Tell her to mind her own business

Hmm hell nah, I would be right there asking who tf they were yelling at cause I know it ain’t my kids. Kids are out playing, during daytime, they are in their home, noise ordinance laws don’t play into effect at those hours. Tell him he either minds his own business or you will become the petties person ever. I would be blasting shit all day every day from now on, idgaf. I would invite all kids in the neighborhood to come play and make as much noise as possible, let them call the cops, they’ll tell him nothing can be done. He fkd up :woman_shrugging:t2:

It was 1pm and at 1:05 I would have been knocking on her door. What no one will ever do is curse out my kids and think I won’t read them for filth.

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So you gave up trying to stop your kids from fighting “often” (I’m sure it’s all the time) ?!?! Imagine how sick and tired your neighbor is of listening to your kids fighting all the time!!! She shouldn’t have said f*ck to them because they are young though

First off before you can address the neighbor you need to address your kids. Let them know if they can’t get a long they can go to their rooms and be separated instead of being outside loud, arguing, and irritating the neighbor. Then go address the neighbor. Let her know if your kids are causing an issue to come to you, not the children.

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Don’t let anyone ever talk to your children like that ! That’s out of line could have popped over or said can yous be quiet. Geezer no one would ever talk to my Kids like that without a Lil chat about what happened and to never do again .approach or use ya words. God damn

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I would knock on their door and do other things! Don’t ever talk to my kids that way !!

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Mind ur kids instead of letting it get so loud your neighbour gets so frustrated they shout and cuss at ur kids. :woman_shrugging: I dont mind kids playing loud but kids arguing and fighting would drive me Insane

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That would upset me.

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My neighbour’s done this to my kids I was out that door yelling that bxtch down ready to fight lol cause not my fxcken kids lol my kids were playing around their car parked in my parking spot so she had no right to yell at my kids I made them move there car an told them never to park there again if they’re gna growl my kids for playing on my section an their cars in the way so I was in the right

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If your kids are being obnoxious with their fighting, then you need to discipline them. The neighbors shouldnt have to be subjected just because you’re lazy. However, regarding this neighbor, they have a right to be mad about the annoying kids next door but do NOT have the right to cuss at them or yell. she should have came to you.

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Knock.on her door ask.her who the feck kids she think she taking to like that tell her she has a problem she comes to you not your kids, and further more if she dont like sound of kids playing in there own back yard shut her windows shut her doors but most importantly shut her fecking mouth especially when it comes to your kids do I make myself perfectly clear , now next time.not that there need be a time but if you feel there is a problem you get off your ass knock on my door and were be adults about it till then stay the fuck away from my kids and my fucking fence, but that’s just me, really hope you sort it and out init happend again you must confront her it’s not fair on the kids, sorry this really enraged me :rage:

Yeah…… I’d be at their door.

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Get the hose and next time she’s close to the fence, spray her and tell her you are trying to wash those words out of her mouth!!

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Go up to her house knock on the door and tell that bihh to be careful how she talks to your kids…

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Sounds like the kids heard what they needed to hear to stop bickering. Constant bickering is enough to make any adult snap

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The yelling and fighting would drive me crazy too. Playing yea cool but fighting? Control your kids so others don’t feel the need to.

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You should of went outside right then and told him to shut the fuck up….?

Guuuuurl…you can’t go knock on your neighbors door and confront them. Won’t end well for u bc your on their property. Use your words so they can hear you, my babies are allowed to freely but respectfully express themselves in any way shape or form unless harming someone else or themselves . If it happens again, file a complaint or call the police. It’s not worth your freedom as a mother to battle this. Let the law do it for u. Nobody speaks to your babies like that.

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Get your kids some of these bad boys :joy:
Your neighbor has no right to say anything to your children in your yard in the middle of the day when there are no noise ordinances
If they don’t like hearing your kids they can take their ass inside their house
Can’t believe so many are not only ok with a grown woman verbally assaulting your children but are also calling you lazy
They’re your kids, on your own freaking property, actually outside playing :woman_facepalming:t2:

By making your kids stop being so loud because you don’t want to deal with it. You need to tech them that you have neighbors and they should respect them. No one wants to hear other people’s kids screaming and fighting. You let your kids yell their words outside, the neighbor was exercising their right to do the same.

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Hmm :thinking: This is a tough situation. My daughter naturally talks loud even if she’s not yelling. I think I would have came out of the house with my husband to ask her if she has a problem, come to us instead of trying to discipline my child.

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Okay so I get it on the neighbors part other peoples kids are annoying. However- they could’ve worded it different. Don’t cuss at my kids. Telling them to shut up is one thing but shut the f up? Disrespectful to me and my babies.
And I’m a cussing mama.
And a full believer in my kids shouldn’t be other peoples problem.
But I do think the cussing at them was a bit much for their ages.

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I live next to a community pool and there is a certain family that brings their little boy there and he is constantly screaming at the top of his lungs for hours while they are at the pool. It’s horrible. I can hear his screaming through my entire apartment and it gives me a migraine. It puts my poor dog who has anxiety on edge. The family clearly doesn’t reprimand him. If that was me I’d take him home and say if you want to be at the pool you need to stop screaming and respect the people living nearby. If your boys are screaming that loud they should be taught about respecting others and given effective discipline instead of “giving up” because there’s a difference between kids playing and being loud and kids screaming at the top of their lungs being disrespectful towards people living nearby. If you aren’t disciplining them they are going to keep doing it. The lady shouldn’t have cussed but clearly she was fed up with the screaming.

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Knock on her door. Tell her that your children are children and if she has something to say to them she can say it to you.

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Imagine telling kids what to do in their own backyard…

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My step son is loud as crap but only 3. I want to cuss him out sometimes (jokes only) :sweat_smile:…but if my neighbor ever did swear and yell I’d want to harm them in my opinion…they are children they probably don’t listen like most. They are still learning the adult shoukd know better in my opinion. She should have said hey your kids are fighting and it’s bothering me. Not yell and swear at them. I probably would have gotten in trouble if that was my neighbor tbh. Yes understandable maybe the kids should be behaving and respecting but children now a days could give 2 craps what their parents say and don’t listen for sh*t. And it’s because parents aren’t allowed to spank anymore. Back in the 90s I got a spank if I acted that way so I didn’t act that way. Now we have to gentle parent and they walk all over us. :roll_eyes:

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I’d ask her who she thinks she’s talking to and see what she says. They’re kids in their own garden🤷🏼‍♀️ tell her to stfu

If your kids are fighting and being obnoxious, then get over it.

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I’d be out there yelling at here to stfu

Go to them tell them what U think. They are your kids.

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My old neighbor did this to my kids one day & didn’t relise I was sitting outside at the back door & heard, I flip the f*#k out & she was nice as to us after that haha nobody speaks to our babies like that

No I get it. I have an 11 and 7 year old my neighbours have an 11,10 and 6 year old. And it’s actually embarrassing when people come for coffee or to hang out in the summer because of how loud the neighbours kids are. It’s so disrespectful to just sit indoors and expect people in neighbouring gardens to deal with that much noise. I could add 5/6 friends kids to my 2 and they do not make the level of noise my neighbors kids make as they are told to have respect. When they play on the green or the tarmac out the front they are free to be as noisy as they like as it doesn’t disturb my hard working neighbours from enjoying the season in their yard.

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Bring your children in stop them fighting and arguing. Like you said they often fight neighbours are probably sick of it

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I would definitely have a word with your neighbour because they should if come to you if they an issue. I would of thought they were no louder than if they were squealing and laughing and its 1pm they dont need to be quiet at thst time regardless of if your neighbour works nights, has a baby or they struggle to sleep. Its 1pm noise is to be expected at that time and Ive got 4 children and worked nights, thats not my neighbours kids fault.

If someone swears at my kid they will wish they never did BUT thats just me. I would have gone outside the moment she did that and told her to shut the F$ck up - but again that is just me🤣 i think if she does that again confront her there and then but from your own yard. Maybe ask the littlies to be a little bit more quiet. Good luck. She can be glad im not her neighbour.

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& that’ll be the last time she ever even looks my kids way! She was completely out of line & totally disrespectful. Definitely needs to be put in her place. It’s important to show our children that we teach people how to treat us. And they need to know that being spoken to like that isn’t appropriate! Don’t listen to your husband. Stand up for you kids!!!

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It’s how she went about it. If she’d of said “hey guys could you keep the noise down please” or approached you, its different. Also you tell your kids to keep it down abit, there’s fun then there’s screaming which is annoying. I always tell mine when it’s going too far… That being said, you don’t shout or swear at my kids, period.

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Mum of 5 kids here and I respect that my neighbours don’t need to hear my kids arguing…

Even when my 2 year old is having a moment, she can come inside and work it out with us and go back outside when she’s calmed down.

Don’t get me wrong, my kids can get a bit noisy when they’re playing in the pool and I’m not going to stop them being kids, but also as a parent it’s my job to teach them to be considerate of others, in numerous atmospheres and environments… So outside of me asking them to calm down a bit when they’re getting over excited and giggling and laughing like hyenas, any sort of discord or disagreements are dealt with calmly or they can’t be outside disturbing the neighbours.

It takes a village, and in this mums shoes I think it’s a fair message even if I don’t agree with the delivery.

TL:DR I’d only be offended at the swearing and address that alone, but also I know I would do more to teach my kids what consideration for others is.

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Sounds like my MIL to our neighbor across the street :sweat: yep…shes my next door neighbor. The boy across the street is so sweet too. But he likes 4wheelers and his remote control car…and she hates those things. So she called him and his friend stupid fcking shts twice, other names and threatened calling the cops :flushed: this doesn’t sit well with me at all. Your story or mine. I’ve spoken with her about it, I’m not sure what you can do on your end…if it were me…I’d wait until a possible next threat then unleash the gates of H.E.Double Hockeysticks…

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I would tell them to stfu too if they’re acting like animals & annoying me.

My kids grew up fighting. Couldn’t stand each other. It seemed to be my job in life to break up fights. But I did. All the time. Our neighbors lived close. Then we had to move to an apartment building when their father and I divorced. I did my best to keep them quiet. It meant a lot of calling them down, but it was necessary.

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Adults shouldn’t cuss at children. Especially when it’s not their own. But your kids shouldn’t be disturbing neighbors. Confront her from your property to bring issues to you and not to cuss at your children.

And say you will try and handle their loudness you understand it upset her.

And if this becomes pattern… let the kids be loud. You blast music. You hang pots and pans. Be petty. :joy:

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Leave it be… Will teach your kids that its not only them living in the area and to have respect for neighbours. Might get them to settle down with the fighting

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I’d raise absolute hell if someone spoke to my child that way. I’ll be Damned if someone yells at my kids for being kids in their own backyard IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

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Well depends on how loud your boys were being and how long they had been playing and acting like boys. Oh wait…
I know exactly why your neighbor reprimanded your boys.
Their kids must have their faces in the TV playing video games. So the sound of children actually “playing” and enjoying themselves OUTSIDE the house is foreign to them.

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I would have run outside and told her to shut the f up. Who speaks to kids like that? It’s not like it was 9pm… They’re kids playing outside at lunch time.

Don’t want to hear noise move to the country on a farm with acres and acres of land.

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Discipline them. Separate them when they fight. If they share a room then put them in different rooms. No outside playtime when they act like that. I wouldn’t like to hear their crap either if I was your neighbor

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My children my yard. Idc what anyone else says. Of course.i wouldn’t let my children yell but if they aren’t screaming everyone else.can F*** off. Why? Because children need to be children. And stop having people expecting them to grow up so fast.

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I feel for me this all boils down to if you rent or if you own… And if you own, who was there first. It is very obvious most of the time where kids are present. I feel a certain amount of loud chaos should be expected with children around.
If you own your house, that is your property for you to do whatever you want with it. Be it disciplining or not disciplining your children. Theres a fence and plenty of ways around it. She could have talked yo you politely before cussing at the kiddos. Im petty personally so thered definitely be pan drum sets in my kids futures for all day recitals :person_shrugging:t2::sweat_smile:

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I may be the odd one out…but I AM a mom of q 5 and 7 year old ‘Bear cubs’ LOL but IF they are fighting a lot and NOT listening to you… maybe hearing it from somebody else is just what they need! Is it the first time they heard the word fuck? I mean I’m not for cussing AT kids, that part is crass, HOWEVER, maybe a scolding from a stranger is exactly what the need? I think you need to prepare yourself for her grievances to be fired back at you (possibly attacking your parenting-again NOT saying you are a bad parent… I do what you do! But SHE might) just be cautious, if you open that can of worms. She said said it ONCE to your kids… I wonder how long she has gone WANTING to say it. I’d go over with a gift. And say, I’m sorry my bear cubs behind you are disrupting your peaceful, If they are bother you PLEASE call Me.

Most Kids today and disrespectful and spoiled. Away from there parents there terrible. I think there’s more that happened here

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She’s a psycho…just ignore it and let kids be kids. If you hear anything from her side, yell the same thing.

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Look lead your kids by example

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If you don’t want to control your own kids and their constant fighting, then you need to move where you don’t have neighbors that are close enough to hear them. The neighbors are probably tired of hearing them argue all the time.

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Just an thought - I keep night hours, always have. While it does take quite a bit of noise to wake me, kids (and adults) can be…I don’t want to say rude but rather “Ill-informed”. I also have some health issues that require me to nap at random times. Not saying the choice of words she used to deal with it were appropriate, or even that that’s the case. But, kiddos (and adults) need boundaries and to respect that their way isn’t necessarily the only way.

Omg I can’t believe some of the comments I’m reading! First of all the kids are in their own yard at 1pm! They should be able to play, scream, shout or do as they please considering they are kids! And also might I mention in their own yard. No one should be disciplining anyone else’s kids let alone swearing at or yelling at them. That’s absolute disgusting behaviour!

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First off, what are you doing allowing your kid any form of communication with kids like hers when you know that they yell at each other like this. Shame on you! You can’t control other people’s action but you can surely guide your child correctly. First off, your kid should know yelling is not the correct way to communicate with anyone. Unless this is the ghetto, I’m sure no one here has been taught how to function in society.

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Yell back over the fence “u shut the f up” :joy: it’s 1pm let the kids play.! Different if it was midnight.!

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My neighbor yelled at my 10yr old cause her dog came in his yard. He said he was going to shoot her dog if he did it again. My ass chewed him up one side and down the other. For one. Its a puppy. And he hasn’t learned his boundries yet. And he just wanted to meet new people. Do not yell at my kid. I stand 5’4 weight 120lbs and was ready to beat him down for saying that to my kid. There are certain ways to approach kids. And cussing at them isn’t the way. I’d march right over there and tell them if they have a problem to bring to your attention. Not your kids.

Takes a village to raise kids. Maybe that’s what they needed. Neighbor was probably frustrated because you weren’t doing anything. Could’ve did without the cussing though.

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Me and my husband would of knocked on they door and confronted the neighbor to make sure they know to mind their business and never speak to your children that way again

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I’ll tell that B to F off!

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Maybe your kids need to be taught to be mindful that they have neighbors.
And not to be disrespectful of others.
Honestly it’s not like you live in the country with no neighbors for miles is it ?
I don’t agree with using bad language but I’d say it’s not the first time your kids haven’t respected they live in suburbia and not the woods !

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If they listened to her- maybe it’s a good thing if you were fed up with it :woman_shrugging:t5:

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Telling them to be quiet is ok but cussing is not!
I wonder how the same neighbours would react the children used the same language to address them.

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Make sure your kids are quiet. No one wants to listen to them

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She shouldn’t have cussed at them but if the kids are arguing to the point that it’s disturbing the neighbors then she needs to teach them to be mindful of how loud the are. Not everyone wants to hear kids yelling and arguing.

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Make some baked goods and bring them over and make amends. She might have been having a bad day
…lid ARE annoying especially if they aren’t yours.

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Omg these comments. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:
I must’ve missed the “perfect parent awards” that you all attended. Newsflash people: siblings argue. It has nothing to do with the mother “controlling her own kids” or not. That’s some of the dumbest s**t I’ve ever heard. As far as the neighbor goes? I’d be confronting her. They’re in their own yard at friggin 1pm for Pete’s sake!! LET ‘EM BE KIDS!!
Side note: alot of you ppl commenting are so sad if this is truly the way that you feel.

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I’d talk with your kids and say hey a neighbour just yelled at you guys because they were probably tired of hearing your fighting and arguing and is tired of it like I am. But this wasn’t the way to react. We need to learn to respond,We need to talk not yell, the language they used wasn’t appropriate. So how about if we try talking things out , we need to learn to talk with and listen to each other.
I struggle with this myself and my kids are 12&14. Your kids are kids and still learning. Big hugs.
The neighbour should’ve just asked the kids politely to quiet down or ask if they could help them talk their problem out.

Further to this I’ll clarify, my boys are teens but grew up with a dad that yelled a lot, at everyone, was verbally abusive to us , yes I should’ve left earlier but I tried to fix my marriage, we had been married for 20 years by the time I finally decided to stop the abuse. Yes I should’ve left earlier than I did so that my kids didn’t have to grow up in that environment and learn that as an example. We’ve only been out of that situation for coming up to 5 years now. I did not work full time in a career, I worked minimum wage then when kids finally happened I stayed home. But I also grew up with a generation of parents and grandparents that actually tried to fix things including relationships, things weren’t as disposable as they seem to be now.
Ya never know what kids have or are going through, you don’t know the history of the neighborhood. Plus it’s not like they’re out there everyday all day long doing this, they are school aged. This is a weekend happening.

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Ignore ignore ignore

I think its actually a little bit funny lol

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Knock on her mf door mom.You need to let her know that this was the first and last time she ever talked to your children like that or felt it was her place to parent them.Put her in her place completely.

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Talk to your kids??this mum has spoke way too many times …like we all do and then we come to a point where we feel like pulling our hair off our heads. Its normal to feel that way. No child or parent is perfect. Kids should be kids while they are kids. Not make them elderly before their time. They should make as much memories as they want too. Not having some neighbour to tell them what to do in their own yard at 1pm broad daylight :neutral_face::neutral_face::neutral_face:

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The comments really got me. I have THREE boys. 9, 5, and 4 and a 2 year old girl. If it’s not my 9 and 5 year old fighting, it’s my 5 and 4 year old fighting and if not them, it’s mt 4 and 2 year old and if not them, it’s my 9 year old and 4 year old. I drove myself insane for such a long time, completely burnt myself out because I was constantly breaking things up. If they’re not hitting, it’s not getting out of hand, nobody wrongfully took something that somebody else had, then why not let them work it out amongst themselves?

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Like in my honest opinion it really doesn’t matter what you do your neighbour won’t care either way. Her opinion of you is obviously pretty low if she decides to swear at your children over the fence rather than knock on the door and discuss how what they were doing was bothering her. If she had any respect or friendship towards you she would come to you first instead of swearing at your kids which is obviously going to cause a problem. No point confronting her she’ll tell you where to go too, and probably swear at them more often because she knows it’d bothering you. Now with the I give up, NO! You can never give up on your children no matter how hard it gers. Remember how your children treat eachother is how they will treat everyone else. Ignoring them constantly fighting and bickering is just teaching them that it’s OK to do. It’s hard, I’m a mother to I get it but a GOOD mother never gives up. If they can’t play without fighting tell them they aren’t allowed to play with eachother at all until they learn to play nicely. Teach them calmer ways and how to compromise. Do not be that parent who doesn’t bother and brings up ignorant, rude, undisciplined humans.