So for those who have been married for a while… My husband and I have been married for only a year in March this year 2022, and I am seriously having situations which are making me think that marriage isn’t even worth it anymore (even though it has only been such a short time we have been married). My husband has lied a lot to my mom and her boyfriend about many different things in order to not get into trouble. He has only lied to me once and has not done it since today. He was brought up in a household where his parents did not show their children a lot of right from wrong, so, therefore, my husband had to fend A LOT for himself and basically had to grow up by himself taught on the values he thought were right. He was a very rebellious child and, to this day, does not like “playing by the rules” even if it comes to our marriage. Today is what completely shocked and disappointed me the most about him. We are not doing well financially, and we have a five-month-old son, so in order to just make it through to the end of the month payday, he had to go into cash converters and put his Xbox on buyback. He then needed to extend it just until payday this month, and the lady at the place had told him that it would cost R250. My mom then gave him the money and told him to go and extend it, which yesterday he said he did. She also gave him R150 for petrol. We are both smokers, so we did not have smokes for today…sometimes we hide smokes for each other so that we have a few to last until payday, but today I went to find if he had some hidden and went into the car to maybe see if there wasn’t an extra one in the side door or somewhere in the car. To my amazement, there was still R200 in his wallet, bearing in mind that he told me that he extended his Xbox yesterday. I confronted him about the situation, and he then told me he lied. He had gone into cash converters and said their systems were offline and could not take the R250 cash, but they verbally told him that they would extend the Xbox until next month. He also said yesterday that the few smokes he got were from a guy at work and then today told me that he bought some smokes with the money that my mom gave him for the Xbox. When you put something on buyback with cash converters, they re-print you a new receipt with the new extended date that you have to pay and come collect your stuff, but he had told me that they do not… I am slowly losing my patience with him because I do love him, but how do you go about marriage when he says that he wouldn’t have told me about the lie if he could have made a plan to pay back the money before i found out about the lie. He does not understand the concept about how upset he made me and just wants me to forgive him
Kick him out. He will alway lie to you.
This is a deal breaker. Move on.
He lies to “not get in trouble” by your parents 
Very childish. Time to grow up.
Sounds like small petty crap, I’m amazed people would tell you to end a marriage to the father of your 5 month old son over it… Yes he needs to grow up and make better decisions but it’s not end marriage worthy.
sounds like you married somebody thats a bit Feral. accept it or leave. he will never (be able to) change.
Unfortunately they always start out as little lies and then they become bigger lies! He will continue to lie and over time he will learn how to lie and not get caught! Big red flags!!
Never gonna change move on
Liar liar pants on fire - if he’s always had to lie, he’s not going to stop any time soon…. It will just carry on forever 
Sounds like he is a loser! Kick him to the curb your
Child doesn’t need that kind of Role model in his life
Well, if he didnt extend the date for the xbox then he loses it, correct? This situation sounds a lot like my first marriage.
You two really need to have a real talk about your finances, about how you got into this situation, how to get out of your current financial situation.
Track all of your spending, down to last cent. Cut out anything that is not necessary.
Maybe ask your parents to help you set up a realistic budget. Maybe you need to take over the finances if he isn’t using the money for the things that it was given for.
It also sounds like he may need some counseling because lying is a big issue.
One lie leads to more. Do not tolerate it
Sounds like a narcissist and it does not ever get any better. Only worse. There will be a million more lies about the dumbest shit and even more lies to cover up those lies. And it will always somehow be your fault that he had to lie to you and couldn’t tell you the truth. It’s all a mind game and you will slowly go insane. Run. Run so far away.
This seems like something petty. No, you shouldn’t lie to your spouse about anything, but pick your battles! I mean, if he doesn’t keep up on the payments for his xBox, he just loses the xBox.
I’m confused as to why your husband, a grown man, feels the need to lie to his MIL.
This can’t be something new though… you may only have been married for a year, but I’m assuming that you were together before you got married, therefore, he’s the same person that you dated and decided to marry…
On a side note, remind him that having a shitty childhood isn’t an excuse for being a shitty adult!
Think u need a ciggy
Honey you’re responsible for your actions as a adult, so let’s not use his upbringing as and excuse for his behavior 
did you make him give your mom her money back? Because I would’ve sure took it out and gave it back myself!! You’re dating a kid it sounds like 
good luck with that 
Might want to try marriage counseling and see if he’ll get into individual counseling to counteract a lifetime of questionable behavior. Do you think he wants to change or would be willing to explore the roots of his questionable behavior?
Sounds like you’re both stressed and strapped. How about trying meditation and other relaxation techniques? My personal favorite is Tai Chi Ch’ih. Lots on You Tube & apps. Might help you both stop smoking and be able to use that money for bills. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ONjHjM4puGY
If not, I’m sorry. Looks like you will always be broke, questioning everything, and/or winding up with a husband and father in jail. Guess you didn’t know him as well as you thought before you got married and had a child. Prepare for being a single parent and expand your circle of support.
Ok so to everyone saying to leave, do none of you hold marriage sacred?! Shit happens in a marriage, you go through peaks and valleys, good and bad, but you made vows to stick by each other through it all. What the hell is wrong with everyone?! Give up at the first issue?! For fux sake.
OP, first I’m not sure how old you guys are but if you’re old enough to be married you’re grown adults so on earth would your grown man of a husband “get in trouble “ with your parents like some teenager. If he had this kind of childhood where he had to do whatever was necessary to get by than you need to understand that it’s not changing and if it does it’s going to be a long slow process loaded with lots of work on himself. You have to seriously take some time just you, don’t discuss it with anyone else including him and your parents for the moment. Take time to really decide. If you decide to leave then leave but don’t get into the pattern of on again off again. If you decide to stay, you need to prepare yourself for the road ahead. It will take consistency and calling him out on his bs lies even if it feels uncomfortable but not in an argumentative way either. Call him out on it in an effort to help him recognize when he’s doing it. People who have had to lie to get by for whatever reason eventually lie so much over the dumbest things that they don’t even realize they’re lying. I know someone who dealt with that and she legitimately asked a couple of our closest friends to help her with it bc it was just a reflex at that point from all the years she was deceitful. People CAN change. But only if they want to and at this stage it sounds like he’s not even aware he lies or that it’s an issue
Sounds like you both need priority changes. There will always be hard times. There will always be things to let go of in order to keep what is more important. Also if you have to borrow money, which is ok at times then you need to quit worrying about cigarettes and play stations and start worrying about bills and food
Yes lies are bad and he will probably do it again so it really just depends on what you want to deal with but I’m going to say at least he wants your forgiveness that means he cares ! I have been lied and cheated on with I’m a sorry lets more on ! No please forgive me I’ll never do it again. It hurts a lot but if he was to say forgive me I think I would feel so much I’m going to say at least he wants your forgiveness that means he cares ! I have been lied and cheated on with I’m a sorry lets more on ! No please forgive me I’ll never do it again.
I hate to say this but this will never change. He will tell you fake promises just to keep you around for longer to take care of him but thats it. My 1st marriage was like this. He lied about EVERYTHING. he was an alcoholic who wouldn’t admit it until i was ready to leave him then he’d beg me to let him change or go to AA and then he’d say he was going but wasn’t. He stole money from his father for beer and cigs when he knew our son had 8 diapers left to last til payday and even on payday I’d have to wait til he got home to go because he’d have our only car since he totaled the other one. He was irresponsible with money, he hever grew up, even after we’d had a few kids together. He just tried to get a little better at hiding the lies and i just got tired of searching for the truth. Instead of staying home with my kids like I’d hoped, i worked through every pregnancy and made sure i always had money put away because he was so irresponsible with money. At that young age i didnt think that was a deal breaker. I felt i could cover the irresponsibility myself and he’d eventually learn. Well hes almost 32 years old now, he moved in with a girl he met on tinder after 1 month to not have to pay rent or anything when i kicked him out of my house. Yes my house, because i paid the bills, i had better credit and even our landlord hated him. He tried to bring our kids over there to which i did not allow. The girl is basically a female him. She doesn’t care about her health, money, hes totaled 2 vehicles one being hers and the other being his own but was in my name still. They now have no car, thankfully no kids together only his kids with me in the situation. They live with me and my husband full time. He barely pays child suppprt on time or regularly. My kids have started hating going over there(its been a few years now so i eventually allowed them to go but its not a responsible home. However, he has to let something happen to my kids for me to do anything about having better visitation or anything. It worries me every time they go).
Long story short, i met this man when he was 19 and i was 17. Hes 32 and he hasn’t changed a bit. Shes helped him to be even worse honestly. She doesn’t make him pay any bills. It was her house he moved into. Hes still a child and a narcissist and an alcoholic. He has never and probably never will change. I wait for the day he kills himself or goes to prison for driving drunk or drunk in public etc. Please don’t wait til his little lies become huge bullshit lies about things that matter. This is a pattern. Hes showing you exactly who he is. I have a million stories i should’ve left my ex husband on and i didn’t. I let “love” tell me to give him a chance he didn’t deserve. Don’t get there and have multiple kids he will never truly help you raise. See what is there. Its starring you in the face.
I don’t have advice about ur husband. I dealt with soooooo much lying in my marriage up until the last few months (been together 13 years) wen things finally have been getting better with his honesty. But… what I do have advice on is smoking. We couldn’t afford to keep buying packs of smokes. So we started making our own. We bought a Top 'o Matic cigg machine n Tabacoo. Our Tabacoo is $20 for a big bag that lasts us up to two weeks. Than a carton of tubes cost $3. The machine is $45 but we only have to buy one every year or year n half. We never go without ciggs n save SOOOO much money!! And it doesn’t taste or feel much different. It takes maybe 5 or less min to push out a pack of ciggs. We get cheaper Tabacoo u can buy name brand but that’s about 30 to $50 a bag. But still saving money. Just something to think about if u getting sick of going without smokes. I hated knowing I’d have a couple days to go before I could buy ciggs n I’m a recovering addict n smoking is my last n only vice at the moment.
He definitely needs help and his priorities in check. He is a grown man with a family. One lie turns into a bigger one that turns into a bigger one. You then lie to keep up with your other lies and it’ll just get worse and you’ll be going down with him and his lies. I would definitely get his ass in check or I would be gone.
Where are u from cuz I don’t understand the R200 I don’t know what that is. I will never understand people with kids who struggle and live paycheck to paycheck but still go spend what money they do have on cigarettes… I understand, I’m a smoker but it’s not my life, if I don’t have the money for it, I’m not getting it, especially if I’m gunna worry about money until payday.
The lies will never end. Get out of it now
You both sound like a huge mess with a child…
Holy smokes, I have no idea what the hell you are writing about!!! You both hide cigarettes so you can smoke, & something about a freaking XBox & extending it!!! You both are grownups, right??? And you have a poor baby in the mix of all this shit. That is who I feel bad for
Sounds like you both need to give up smokes and learn how to play monopoly. Smoking will kill you both and is an alful example for your child. Xbox is for children not men making a living for their familey.
I don’t think my husband has ever lied to me. He pays the bills (we both have full time jobs) so he’ll always tell me honestly what’s happening with our savings and budget. If he buys something he’ll tell me cos he knows not telling me and then me finding out would be way worse. Before he spends a large amount for a “I want this” item we’ll discuss it. Is it possible your husband is lying because he doesn’t have empathy for your feelings when he doesn’t tell you the truth? Can he not see how upset you are? I think empathy is something he’ll have to learn or at least recognise for your sake.
First thing is a grown adult man struggling with financial problems with an Xbox. He needs to sell it and get a second job. Another thing is smoking while having to borrow money. I don’t care how hard it is, give them up and be responsible with your money. You both sound like you need to make better decisions.
I highly doubt that he wasn’t a liar before you married him. Either you’re just noticing it, or you’ve noticed it before but it wasn’t a big deal to you,or you excused it. Growing up with crap family situations isn’t an excuse to be financially irresponsible, or to steal from your parents (taking money for one thing but spending it on something else entirely is stealing IMO)
Tbh he sounds like a bum. When you can’t make ends meet you need to prioritize necessities,and you need to be with someone who will do the same. Also, quit smoking, or roll your own cigarettes. What you pay in a day or 2 for cigarettes would be a months worth if you rolled your own
I think you two have a lot of issues, much more than just him lying. First off, being completely broke & living paycheck to paycheck , with a 5 month old, is not very good… (I’m not judging, or being rude, just being practical) so maybe you both should quit smoking cigarettes, that would save ALOT of $.
My personal opinion, I think it’s weird that your most upset about him lying about cigarettes. I’d be more concerned about budgeting my $$ better.
Do what you think is right listen to your heart, my ex wouldn’t stop drinking even when his liver was failing we were both alcoholics but didn’t know it at the time, I left him. I know your story is different but when you know you know. I lied alllll the time, I’m an alcoholic that’s what we do! But I’ve been sober for almost 3 years now married to an amazing man and have a wonderful son, unfortunately my ex husband passed away from his drinking I haven’t spoke to him in 6 years but the lying can stop I stoped lying once I got sober and realized there is no point to lie. If you both agree on going to counseling that can help and if not like I said do what you need to do for yourself. Anything is possible and you can be happy
maybe give up smoking an worry bout what’s more important in life like taking care of ur child an household smh
Every time I seen
Husband and Xbox in the same sentence I laugh
Stop waiting around and believing his behavior and lack of maturity is going to change because it’s not… If he has and continues to not only lie to you but others over small things and issues then Lord Doll what in blue daisies do you think is gonna happen when it’s something major? Get out now especially if you have spoken on this matter prior and nothing has been accomplished. It’s because he doesn’t want it to… Love yourself enough to know you deserve better and are allowing his actions to continue with justification… Good luck hun.
Trust, loyalty are big things… No liars, cheaters or thieves is not in my playbook. If u cant trust someone i perfer they stay away…js my thoughts. Already been there know how u feel. Get out early. It only gets worse. Js
If ya’ll can’t afford to make the payments on the Xbox, u need to give it back & get one when u become financially stable. Same goes for smoking, time to cut down &/or quit. Ur prob in the financial situation that ur in b/c of him lying to u, he prob lies about financials all of the time. Him not paying that bill he was to pay, just dug ur hole deeper. Yea they extended it by a month (so he says) but what are ya’ll going to do in a month when it’s due? U obviously barely live paycheck to paycheck, and with him lying, it’s only going to get worse. Children get more & more expensive the older they get. I don’t tolerate anyone who lies to me, & neither should you. Time to rethink your marriage, or get him into some sort of counseling where they can help him with his lying, heal past trauma, & teach him how to adult.
Everything does not resolve around you,give your husband a break,you are suffocating him with questions,and it seems your family is too much involve in your life, goodness no wonder he lies every chance he get,you are going through his pocket,you count sigarets 
you are too much work
Does your husband suffer from addiction or has he ever? These seem like addict tendencies to me. I’ve been down this road before with a significant other. We weren’t married but he turned my world upside down
Marriage is hard work. The first year is the hardest. You both need to talk about what’s important to you and get on the same page. And leave your mom out of it. This is not marriage ending stuff, if you think so then why get married? So he didn’t put money towards an Xbox… who cares. If you lose the Xbox, it’s just an Xbox. Yes he should have spoken to you about it, but this is normal first year marriage stuff. Sounds like you have 3 people in your marriage. Why would he need to worry about getting in trouble with your mom? What does that even mean?
He desperately needs therapy. I wouldn’t give up on him immediately if he was willing to admit its a problem and express a desire to change. Also, it sounds like you’re struggling financially. That sort of stress can exacerbate maladaptive behaviors like his lying. He doesn’t seem to be malicious but you need to be able to trust him. This is not something that you’re likely to be able to fix without professional intervention.
Seems like both of yawls priorities are messed up tbh.
He needs to get a 2nd job. give up smoking because that is a big bill. Do it for you kid .live among your need.
The only people I’ve ever seen do this or even have anything like this happen is because of drugs. Plain and simple…I’ve seen women not pay their bills for 6 mo with the money their husband’s gave them and it took 6 mo to be caught. Because they’d pay the absolute bare minimum to keep the power on and then hide the mail/evidence Etc. The only way they found out was eventually the companies called the husband to ask if he knew the bills hadn’t been paid in so long…And the husband never ever even suspected she was getting high. He thought she really only smoked pot and he didn’t like it but let her anyways. she was shooting heroin and meth fast as she could get it! I’ve got 10 million more stories like that! Where nobody ever knew… he could be gambling but I HIGHLY DOUBT IT. A drug test with absolutely no warning and in front of you so there’s no funny business may be needed
life is hard , especially when you’re broke. we have been there. i do a daily devotional with my husband on our phones. sometimes it’s not everyday but i can tell the difference when we do.
it’s called You Version. marriage therapy is SOOOOOO amazing, or even parent therapy because it really puts your marriage first.
we personally love the Lord so that’s why we do devotionals, he listens to them. you guys can work through this, it’s marriage, you both just have to do it and do it together… welcome to your first obstacle in marriage. you’ll either get worse or you can chose to get better:heart:
if you listen to older couples that have been married 50+ years, there were definitely times one or both wanted to leave. but they didn’t, they worked through it and grew together
Not a lot of info given here regarding maturity or situation. You all sound like a really young couple-Do u work also?, Do u have your own place to live?, If he loses the Xbox does it really matter lol, If you 2 can’t afford smokes then you both need to stop… Does the baby go hungry? Are all the babies needs met? Is your household needs met? Give the money back to your mom-tell her not to give it anymore… you and he need to communicate
Considering the financial situation you shouldn’t be worried about cigarette money. Marriage is hard. Adding a baby, Xbox n money issues is worse. Find work. Babysit a kid or something. My x lied but over worse things. Sooner or later it’s probably gonna get worse. Prepare yourself.
I’m old and have been married 32 years, so let me say this…as hard as it is to change yourself, why think you can change someone else? Marriage is very hard work with lots of growing pains and learning to compromise. Before you throw your marriage away, talk honestly with him. Tell him your concerns and see what kind of growing he plans to do. It’s hard living with someone else you’re 2 different people with different backgrounds trying to come together as one and work as one to build a life and a family. My prayer is that the two of you will at least be able to sit down and have an honest talk about your dreams and expectations
Well he still had the money in his wallet… secondly I know moneys tight, but why is he worrying about an Xbox. When you’re in a big enough bind money wise then you cut down unnecessary expenses! All over an Xbox! Can I ask how old you guys are?
Ive only been married a short time going on 2 years in july. I would be annoyed but not gonna end my marriage over it. Marriage is hard especially with a young baby. My husband and i got together when i had a 6 month old. We are due anyday with baby number 2. Its hard- we’ve switched jobs- got married in a pandemic etc… marriage is work.
We have trauma from our childhood and it has caused issues with my husband drinking( like 2 shots makes him act like a fool). We talked about it and he made mistakes and would try to drink and we’d have to deal with it again. Now my husband knows he doesn’t tolerate alcohol well and therefore doesn’t drink and if he does its a beer.
Id have a serious talk with him and tell him he didnt need to lie to you. Tell him that if he lies about something so small you will have a hard time trusting him and you cant be in a marriage where you are always wondering if he’s lying. Often times lying like that is a trauma response- how was he supposed to survive on his own without lying- yes hes an adult now but trauma stays until we work through it. I would also suggest a counselor
Who cares if he loses the Xbox?
you both need to grow up , you’re raising a manchild and that’s going to be a lot of work but you married him knowing that. He needs to go get a job… maybe a second job to. and you can definitely be doing something also! The Xbox and cigarettes are your last worries. You have a child with this man full of excuses blaming his upbringing… a real man knows the right from wrong and if he raised himself he’s not done yet ! He never finished. He’s pathetic and you signed up into it. Wake up, grow up and Start showing up for your baby.
Okay so let me get this straight your questioning your marriage over some cigarettes you shouldn’t be smoking bc your broke and a fucking Xbox? That he should’ve fucking sold to survive period? You both need to grow the hell up
Marriages are supposed to be built on love, trust & honesty. i’m sorry.
Sounds like both need counseling.
You can’t have a marriage on lies, you will never be able to trust him , everytime some Financial issues come up you’re always going to have that doubt…
A good marriage counselor
You would both save a lot if you cut out the cancer sticks and all unnecessary expenses. ESP with a newborn in your lives now.
He sounds like he’s overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to handle it. You guys need to talk about ways to bring in more money. Cigarettes are not your priority. Having a child means sacrifice. Give up the Xbox
If you can’t trust the odds of the relationship working are slim. And agree… both of you have some mixed up priorities, therapy for it all to work out.
What with the Xbox you little kids or what
Family should come before an Xbox, and how stupid was it that your Mother gave him money to save the Xbox, if she had money to give him she should have taken the money and used it for necessities for you , and your child. Sounds like your husband will never grow up and accept responsibilities,
You both need to grow the hell up and get your life and priorities in order. You are both adults who decided to get married and start a family it’s time to start being independent and stop depending on parents…
Why would you put your marriage problems on Facebook, you want sympathy. The person you need to talk to is your husband not the media.
Sounds to me like you both have your priorities mixed up. If money is tight until the next payday neither of you should be smoking. As for him lieing, that won’t change. That is how is used to living and getting through life. You either get out now or live a life of not being able to trust him.
It’s mainly a money problem…quit smoking, you’ll save a lot of money, (dont say you can’t, people who have smoked 20-30 years have) plus it’s not good for your child. Get a babysitter (mother?) and get at least part time employment for awhile, if only one auto, work different shift. Its doable.
Little lies turn to
Huge lies !
I found out my husband had been lying to me from day 1 when we were a couple years into our relationship. I forgave hime and stayed with him for 12 years. He continued to lie and still does 5 years after divorce. Chronic liars rarely change.
Sounds like y’all should grow up and stop smoking (both of you) and get better jobs because kids only get more expensive and if you can’t afford to live right now it will only get worse.
Why do children have children?
First of all- lying is an addiction harder to break than the cigarettes, you busting him in one doesnt mean he’ll never do it again, it means he knows he needs to get better at it (cover his tracks), and then theres your finances, pawnshop interest is like payday loan interest is like loan shark interest, IF you ever get your xbox back you will have paid enough on it to buy 4 more on Craigslist
I don’t know your situation, can’t assume by this article, and some of the responses are kinda harsh considering we all started somewhere and were children ourselves at one point making plenty of mistakes so I’ll tell you this-
If y’all want it to work, you will make it work, but all in all? Don’t live off anybody, and try your hardest to not live THAT BAD off paycheck to paycheck if you are, cause you’re never gonna get anywhere by doing those two things.
You have a kiddo now, so lying is the least of your worries at this point. If he lied about the Xbox, then he’ll lose the Xbox, and you take the remaining cash and make sure y’all have what that baby needs- and when payday rolls around, pay your parents back.
As for the future- baby is number one priority. You’re missing out on opportunities right now with that baby, while worrying about your husband being irresponsible with his own decision making and lack of morals. Let him figure it out if he wants to stay in the picture and learn from those mistakes, since he probably just avoids confrontation and makes you feel like you’re the one with the issues and you’re over dramatizing everything. He may have grown up in a broken home, but he isn’t there now. It’s a new beginning. One where you can break a cycle and make sure your own children don’t go through it.
Make sure you’re doing what you need to do to make a better life for yourself, and that baby, so you’re not always struggling and borrowing from Peter to pay Adam.
Marriage is based on trust, if you have no trust, you will have no marriage. Fix it now or you will have a disaster
I see red flags. I wouldn’t be shocked if he was a compulsive liar about everything. Some people are just like that!
The biggest mistake we make is accepting small red flags. We waste years ignoring the small ones just to deeply regret it later.
Get a therapist…couples if possible.
My first question is how old are you two…you sound like you’re both too young for marriage and weren’t stable enough financially in the first place
Quit smoking you would surprised how much money you have
I’m guessing y’all are young kids ? Atleast I hope so . Ffs
This is all over what comes out to be about $30? I know times get tough, but if 30 bucks is going to make or break you, cigarettes aren’t your main issue.
Since y’all are short in funds every month having to pawn stuff off I’d seriously stop smoking so you’d have extra money. You are just as much a part of the problem as he is.
You’re playing the victim here, and you sound like you have issues yourself. Grow up, stop snooping around for smokes and to catch him in lies. Stop enabling him by letting your mom give him money. He should be responsible especially because you two have a child.
Not once did you mention your child!
I would worry more about feeding my child then smokes and lying period is a red flag no matter what it’s about. One white lie turns into many and clearly he does it more than you even know.
First of all get a therapist! You don’t need to get on Facebook and type a mini novel about your life. This whole this is nothing but red flags.
If you can’t have trust in your marriage you have nothing
Counseling individual for him Couples for the two of you. Truth is important to a marriage and to any relationship
Your childhood is no excuse to lie. You guys have more priorities than buying smokes that money needs to go for food or a bill for the home so they kids don’t go without.
1st off He Lied using this Money$$$ Your Mom Gave Him To Help Yall extend a Pawnshop Bill On A Game System ( That’s Crazy & He basically Stole & Your Mom’s Money$$, by not Using it for What she Gave it To Him to him for…That’s also Lying to Your Mom & taking advantage of her Kindness and Hard Earned Money. I Hope You Told Your Mom about his Lies)
2nd I hope you took that Money you found back to Your Mom…If Not Your Guilty too.
3rd if you can’t afford Smokes Stop…Use extra funds to live off of & take care of your child.
Stop using your Mother as a Bank.
All I will say is when money was tight I cut down the fags and upped the work hours, so did my husband. We made sure our child was fed and bills were payed.
I don’t think he’ll quit lying. Think ahead a few years. He will still be lying. You have a child to think about. Do you want that child to grow up like his dad. One of my daughters had a son by a man that was no good. It’s in their genes. My daughter fought tooth and nail to change her son’s thinking. At his biological father’s funeral he met his dad’s relatives. Was real surprised that they all thought like him. It’s going to be a hard battle raising your son. Best do it without his father.
Quit smoking and quit your marriage.
This whole thing is a dumpster fire.
You both sound like kids. For one…hiding cigarettes from each other. So…you are lying to him as well. 2.If it is HIS Xbox,then why are you so concerned about it? If he doesnt make the payments and loses it,then that is on him. The money for the Xbox is his to do what he wishes,unless has important bills to pay it with. If he doesnt want to use the money your mom gave him for the Xbox,then that is his choice as well. The agreement between your mom and him is between them. If he doesnt pay it back,then i wouldn’t loan him any more money if i was her. Sounds like you are very controlling and want to control every little thing he does. Hiding cigarettes from him is ok on your part,but him hiding money isnt ok. You both need to work on acting like adults and you need to let him deal with his own business. All you need to worry about is that he is helping pay bills for the house and helping you raise your kid. That is it. Maybe you both got married too young or too soon for you both to be mentally mature enough for it. However,now that tossed a kid into this crazy relationship,you need to compromise and try to make it work. Getting all irate over this petty bs that really doesnt have a thing to do with you is just gonna cause resentment and anger that will cause nore issues that will eventually lead to divorce. Let him handle his own business. Unless it involves bills or your kid or he is lying about cheating…i wouldnt worry about it.
Here’s a simple simple answer to all your problems here… the $ you have left, since I’m assuming you have no savings… spend it on baby food, diapers instead of non sense seems like you guys have growing up to do and prioritize to your own child’s needs!
Did he do this before the wedding and while dating too? Huge red flags.
You both need to get off the smokes " & think about your child "