My newborn will not sleep at night and my husband and I are exhausted: Advice?

My daughter is a week old. I had a C-section with her, and I’m still hurting and exhausted. My husband works all day and can’t keep his eyes open, either. We are at a loss. He’s had two kids before her, and she is honestly killing us. She will not sleep at night. No matter what we do, she won’t sleep unless she’s in bed WITH the US, and that is not okay for us, nor do we have the room. She sleeps all day, and it’s impossible to wake her up and keep her up. She will fall asleep in our arms, but as soon as we lay her down, she starts screaming and won’t stop. We have tried music, comforting sounds, sounds she is used to, rocking her, holding her for hours at night while she sleeps in our arms, rubbing her back and head, nothing helps. NOTHING. Any advice so we can sleep?

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Baby white noise on YouTube helps with mine

Sounds like she may have colic or her days and nights mixed up? I went through this with my son. We had his swing beside our bed and he slept in that for the first month or two. I was up every couple of hours. We had to change his formula etc. it will get better momma; hang in there; they are getting adjusted as well.

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She is just a new baby, you need to keep that in mind!! Sleep will come.

Always think to yourself “ this too shall pass”

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Sleep with her that’s all. Baby don’t make the night you desire. She make her night.

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She’s a week old!! It is exhausting, but it gets better! Give her time to get adjusted. Try a swing at night.

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Take a deep breath mama💜 my youngest was the same way she was breast fed so she would only stay in the bed and at that time the rock n play . See about getting a co sleeper for your bed if you’re worried about rolling. They usually eventually grow out of it .

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She’s only a week old. You’re going to have to give her time to get adjusted

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She’s a week old, she doesn’t understand morning and night. You just need to persevere. She won’t be awake for long periods through the day. But that’s your job to get her used to that. If you don’t want her in your bed, think about a next to me crib so she’s there, but not in the actual bed. Just get a routine and stick to it. She’s just born. Look up the fourth trimester.

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There is a product that imitates a mothers heartbeat that is supposed to help infants sleep. I’ll see if I can find it and post it here

She’s still so new. Give it time Momma :heart: you will all find your routine soon. Talk to your doctor. You sound like you are hurting and overwhelmed. They can help you. You can also call the baby’s pediatrician and ask for advice. You will get through it.

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There’s not really much you can do but keep trying and stay calm because babies can feel what you’re feeling. My older three were always great sleepers but my youngest is one and still giving us a hard time at bed time lol it’ll all pass when she’s ready but unfortunately you can’t just change her sleep schedule over night.

My son slept for about 6 minutes in his first 6 months of life and I was a single mother and worked 40-50 hours a week. I had to sleep sitting in a reclined position with him on my chest for the 6 minutes of sleep I got. I honestly don’t know how I survived I just did. I can’t offer any advice just support and hugs. PS my son is 20 now.

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Ur newborn Haha must be ur first little advice no more sleeping no one told u that should be comman scene

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read babywise it was a life saver

Try a swaddle blanket. Good luck momma :kissing_heart:

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Worked wonders with my daughter. The hoover worked too. Recorded myself hoovering for an hour and played that to her until the bear arrived. Good luck. Hope you get your much deserved sleep soon x

Have your tried a baby snuggie? My newborn loves being wrapped up and will sleep a few hours at a time and wake up for feedings. Do you have a friend or grandparents that can come stay to help you get a nap in? Ask for help if you need it!

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You sleep when she sleeps. So sleep during the day. Take the night shift and let your husband sleep. You got this.

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She is a newborn. Get over it.
They don’t sleep.
It takes time.
I had 5. Spent several years sleep deprived.
What is wrong with you?
So many ways to slowly change sleep patterns.
If you don’t have other kids, try sleeping in the morning with the baby.
This will pass.
Ugh

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She is a newborn and has her days and nights mixed up. She will adjust

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She will get on a routine my Son was the same he is over 2 months old and almost sleeps through the night he gets up one time. Try the swing or bouncer but baby is so new just give it time

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Seriously this is called newborn stage…

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Sleep when she sleeps :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_facepalming:

Swaddle baby using a shirt with youe scent at night… youtube has lots of white noise videos… soft lullabies. My son slept next to me on a bassinet for the first few weeks… i also had a csection… and his father works out of town so he had to leave two days after he was born… its overwhelming… hang in there momma.

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She’s new it will get better mom I had 5

And I really really hope you are reading these comments…
The baby is a newborn…
Sleep when baby sleeps…
Its normal to be sleep deprived…
It’s normal for the baby to have days and nights mixed up
And again the baby is a newborn that’s what newborns do

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Adoption?

Seriously, she’s a week old… what did you expect?

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Swaddling helps
Swing
Good luck mama

Have you heard of…what are they called…side cars? It’s a little crib that attaches to the side of the bed so the baby can sleep with you without being in danger in your bed

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Shes only a week. It takes time.

I honestly understand your pain. My daughter wouldn’t sleep at all hardly (even during the day) I don’t know how she survived. I didn’t know that my thyroid was a wreck, and was suffering from a nursing aversion and lack of milk, but she wouldn’t take a bottle or pacifier and screamed and screamed until I nursed her while I silently cried. When she nursed was the only time she was calm :sob:

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She is 1 week old. She will cry, she won’t sleep, all that is to be expected. It will be like this for a while girl. I dont mean to be rude but l dont know what you were expecting.

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Hahaha try three months with a colic baby yea you’ll be fine !

It’s all okay dear.This will pass(baby-stage).if you can get time during day,sleep.When you are done with house chores incase you have no help at all,try as much as you can to sleep.She is a baby and she won’t be forever.Been there and now my girl is 4months.I used to sleep during day after my housechores and at night,i would stay up and help her to sleep.(i used to bathe her every after 3hrs incase she couldn’t sleep and after that,i breastfeed her till she sleeps).

Welcome to the world of no more sleep

Welcome to parenthood! The sleeping part is crappy but there’s plenty of coffee.
Keep her awake during the day. My daughter had her days & nights confused. We just had her in her bouncy chair, swing or holding her but keeping her awake for as long as we could. Let her nap during the day but not a lot. You just gotta find that right balance.

She’s a week old newborn. There’s nothing wrong with her sleeping all day and wanting to be close to her mom.
Enjoy it.

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Oh my god she’s a NEWBORN. THEY DO THAT. Welcome to being a parent. :tipping_hand_woman:t3:

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She’s a week old sweetie. She has her days n nights mixed up. Make sure she has plenty of light during the day…at night, using a red light bulb so its dim enough to know its quiet time will help…maybe not right away but it will. Been using a red light w my son since he was 3mths. Hes now 10mths today and been sleeping through the night w just a wake up here n there since. After u get the lighting established, u want to set up a routine immediately. Once they get adapted to a routine, they will be comforted n sleep longer. Hang in there mama. Sleep will be knocking at your door again soon

Good luck momma. Most children wake up every night until they are a year old. You can’t expect her to sleep only being a week… she’s waking up to eat, they need to eat every 2 to 3 hours, even throufh out the night

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My daughters almost 3 weeks old and it’s starting to get better now! But she was like that too with her sleep schedule. I just sleep when she sleeps between eating and that seems to help! You’re always going to be tired, but catch up when you can!

Try making the baby naked

As cliche as it is mama, and I’ve had two sections so I understand, you have GOT to sleep when she sleeps. Because she doesn’t give a single care in the world about when you wanna sleep. At all. Swaddles are immensely helpful as are baby swings. Get a white noise app called relaxio and play it for her. She wants to be touched and held obviously but you wanna sleep. She just spent 9 months in a warm, dark place without a bunch of excessive noises. Help her transition as best you can. :heart: I know it’s hard. It’s all part of the job mama. You’ll do just fine.

Work hard to establish a schedule with baby. Make sure she is well fed and in a dry, clean diaper right before you lay her down for bed. Swaddle the baby snugly, the velcro swaddle blankets and sleep sacks are amazing. When baby is beginning to roll over in a few months it’s time to stop swaddling though. You can also try to nap with baby during the day for extra rest.

If she’s sleeping during the day then you should be sleeping while she sleeps. Then if she’s up at night you can be up with her since you slept during the day with her and your husband can sleep at night. As she gets a bit older her sleeping pattern will change. She just has her days and nights mixed up right now vut she’s only a week old

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I think it’s really important to be kind to mothers in these moments, honestly. The rate of new mothers committing suicide is high. We don’t want to contribute to a struggling new mommy hurting herself or her baby or her marriage falling apart. Verbally beating them up and telling them to enjoy it doesn’t help, and telling them that they shouldn’t have had a child or should’ve known better does the mother and baby no good. Letting them know that we’re here and we understand and giving them real advice helps.

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She’s only a week old, there’s no possible way to have her on a schedule just yet. Unfortunately you’ll have to deal with it until she can be sleep trained properly.

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She only a week give it time my dear you’re going to be exhausted the first few weeks… welcome to parenthood and don’t be afraid to ask for help a friend or family member can come over at night and stay up w the baby whilenyall catch a few hrs a zzzz … my baby had colic the first 3 months
Wee torture but it won’t last for ever

Welcome to the life with a newborn! My son is just a month old and is still this way. I swaddle him and play white noise off of YouTube… soon you’ll build a routine and baby will start sleeping at night. Trust me you will miss this, clingy phase… It’s hard… So hard but soon they’ll be grown and gone. Try to soak it up now and enjoy it.

You sleep when baby sleeps

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I was taught during day feedings engage with the baby talk to them feed them in a bright room just be active. During the night keep the room dark, don’t engage the baby, feed the baby and put the baby back down after. It will help them differentiate between day and night.

Wow… Who told you babies were easy? Welcome to being a parent. Clearly you should of did some research before getting pregnant.

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I just had a newborn 3 days ago. They don’t sleep at night lol. You adjust to babys schedule.

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Shes a week old. Shes spent the last 9mos inside of you, she doesnt know anything else. This is the first month of having a baby.

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It’s safe to say we have all been there, so don’t listen to all the judgy parents.
Your tired and stressed, I get it.
Sometimes it takes baby a little bit before they get on a routine and get used to it.

My daughter came home for the first 3 days and woke up every couple hours to be fed and went back to sleep, and I thought I had the perfect most well behaved child.

Well soon after she stopped sleeping and eventually she got on a schedule.
We were exhausted, I was crying…
I know it’s hard, but you just have to tough it out. It’ll get better!

That is 100% normal and there isnt a lot you can do about it. Thats why they say sleep when they sleep…you are going to have to nap more during the day. Most newborns have their days and nights mixed up…some are good sleepers early on and others take years. All 4 of mine were different and yes it was tough, but we survived…it doesn’t stay like that forever. Sleep when she sleeps…it could take, weeks, months or sometimes a year or so. Being a mother is exhausting, especially in the early stages.

First off
She’s a week old
Let’s be a little realistic
Secondly slowly get a sleep routine but don’t force it
Let it happen naturally

And just in case I’ll say it again
She’s a week old give it time and patience and enjoy it

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What’s is wrong with half of you? Clearly the poster is a new mum and is struggling with the adjustment. Yes she’s a new born and still adjusting but so is poster.
I’m actually disgusted how some of you are replying to her. She’s reaching out, asking for help and some advice not to be criticised because she’s struggling with sleep.

Some people can not physically sleep during the day. I know I can’t, perhaps the girl who needs advice is the same?

Jeez no wonder less and less mums are asking for help and post natal depression is on the rise. It’s because of people like some of you, taking the piss and criticising because someone thought a new born would sleep at night.

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Sleep when she sleeps

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As all have said, she is a newborn, it’s a grest big new place for her. She wants you for comfort, she’s only known you and her womb sounds for 9 months. Trust me when I say that it seems hard now but it passes so so fast. Enjoy all of it as much as you can. Sleep when she sleeps if you can and ask for help if you need it. The other comments about light and soft noises are really good ideas too. If you have a swing use it! You’ve got this!

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She has been with you for most of the year, she is going to want to be with you. I slept propped up in bed with my girls on my chest for the first few weeks. Made those first few exhausting weeks easier for everyone, including baby.

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Surprise :woman_shrugging:t3: welcome to parenthood. What’d you think it was gonna be like lol. Best advise I can give is Nap with her during the day. And it does get better.

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At a week old, unfortunately that’s what happens. They need to be fed round the clock, every 2-3 hours. She will not sleep through the night until she is able to have larger meals. Do your best to keep her up during the day, but like I said she isn’t going to have a sense of day vs night because she will require feedings through the day and the night.

Welcome to parenthood. She’s a week old. No newborn sleeps all night and it’s silly to think otherwise. As she gets older she will get into a sleep routine. Y’all need to keep a strict bedtime routine to help her. Parenting isn’t easy!

Babies often have night and day confused. This is very normal, and pretty much all moms go through it, so know you’re not alone. You’ll have to sleep when baby sleeps, and then let your husband sleep at night. Maybe he could get up with her once so you can get some extra sleep. You have to make the necessary adjustments/changes to make it work. This part won’t last forever, mama. Hang in there and know you’re never alone! :heart::heart:

I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but this WILL pass. It doesn’t last forever mama. My son was the EXACT same way when we brought him home but he grew out of that pretty quickly. He’s 6mo old now, but by 5 he took 3 naps a day at the same exact time, and was asleep for the day by 7pm until 7am with 2 wake ups. I suggest taking naps during the day while you can to try and catch up on sleep, and work on getting baby into a different routine as best you can. Try to keep baby stimulated in the day but also remember they NEED to sleep a TON as newborns. Don’t stress yourself out, baby is so new to the world right now :heart: I know it’s easier said than done, but go with the flow mama and remember this is only temporary. I struggled badly when my son was in that stage, but it does get better I promise.

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This is exactly what It is having a newborn. Wont get any better for at least 6 weeks.

New mothers dont sleep. Tuff it out its only been a week. And you cannot sleep train a newborn. I have 4… I havent slept well in 13 years. In all honesty take the baby to another room and sleep with her because all she wants is your warmth and comfort

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Sleep in that daytime

That’s normal. Just try to sleep when she sleeps and get as much rest as you can and try to get a sleep schedule set. Try to keep her awake as much as you can during the day.

You sleep when she sleeps until she’s older and you get her on a better schedule

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Completely normal this early. She’s still getting use to being out of the womb. She probably still has her days and nights mixed up. Babies are use to feeling secure so when you lay her down and an open space that’s not secure she isn’t use to it. It will get better momma. Just got to give her more time to adjust being out of the womb

You could try using a swing

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Try stimulating during the day, even if you didn’t sleep the night before. Give baths , play music, vacuum your house, try and keep the baby awake as much as possible.
Getting a good routine is important, it will get better. Stay calm and patient! Congratulations

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Swaddled was the only way my daughter would sleep for a long time.
As she got older I wouldn’t swaddle her as much and there was a difference in her sleep.
Also if you have a swing, huge life saver.
It’s frowned upon, but honestly the only way I could actually sleep for the first month or so was on the couch with her swaddled in the swing next to me.
Try to keep the house bright when she’s awake and dark when you want her to sleep

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No advice just wanted to say it will get better beginning it the hardest

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Newborns need to eat every 2 ish hours…it won’t happen anytime soon. Mine didn’t start sleeping through the night until he was 2 1/2…he’s almost 3 (in 3 weeks). Good luck. It’ll pass. :pray:t2:

This is normal. Im sorry, buckle in and enjoy the ride

There’s a teddy bear that plays a heart beat sound,it seriously helps!

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I have swaddled all of my baby so maybe grab a good swaddle and see if that helps at all.

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The best I can tell you is nap when she’s napping, whenever that may be. It DOES get easier. This is all a learning process for her too, just give her time. This will all be a thing of the past before you know it & you will miss it like nothing you’ve missed before. I know that’s hard to believe now, but I promise it’s true!! You got this momma!! :+1::kissing_heart::+1:

She had a C section and is probably still recovering. And yet some of you disgusting human beings are tearing her down. Have no advice? Don’t comment. Simple Faith Pratt Tiffany Embry Simpson

Enjoy it. Enjoy those cuddles and the fact that your child needs you. SOAK IT UP MOMMA. You’ll miss this, I promise. Sleep when the baby sleeps, the cleaning and whatever else you’re doing now is going to still be there at night when she won’t sleep so you can’t either. Remember, she’s used to hearing your heart beat constantly. My kids are 4 and 2, and guess what when they nap? I do too still. And when they get up I clean or do whatever I need to. Try laying her with a shirt you’ve worn, she is also used to your smell. That might help.

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Start napping when she sleeps it works well cosleeping isnt bad if u r a light sleeper. I did it will all 3 of my kids and first one was up like ur daughter is. It’s rough but sleep when she sleeps and u will get more sleep that way

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Just bring her to me🤦‍♀️

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Shes a week old… what exactly did you expect having a baby?! You dont get sleep. You sleep when she does until she is old enough to be put on a schedule or sleep trained

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The best advise I got was to wake baby up every few hours in the day to nurse so that she nurses ~7 times in the day. Do this by undressing her so she’s not warm and cosy, tickling her ect. At night if she wakes up and it hasn’t been at least 4 hours since she nursed last just comfort her until it’s been 4 hours and then nurse. This is all to say that she isn’t underweight or having trouble feeding. This will help get her on a daytime schedule and sleep longer through the night. I used a nursing bracelet to keep track of what times I should wake for feedings in the day., but an alarm on the phone will work too.
And yes sleep in the day when she sleeps! And I know you said you are not ok with her sleeping with you but maybe give some more thought to that. She’s just tiny and new and she’s used to being in your womb, she wants closeness to feel safe and you all might get some sleep. There’s some great co-sleeping cots and bassinets available, maybe check them out. Also talk to your dr about available resources to help you get a break, in my community there’s a grandmas group that will come hang out with baby so new mom can shower, nap, get things done. Go for walks get fresh air for you and baby, take a few moments here and there to just remember to breath and form us on your breathing. This phase will be over before you know it and you’ll be on to the next joyous challenge. Best of luck :heart:

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That was us for sure. He didn’t even touch his pack n play for more than 10 minutes until about 4 weeks old. He’s 6 weeks now and making progress. He’s slept in his pack n play most of the night lately, but he’s been fussy (probably a growth spurt). He only slept during the day if we were holding him, but he also refused naps like a kid refuses veggies. Honestly, it’s still very similar but he is making progress on his own.

The first few months are a killer for most Moms… hang in there. It gets easier!

Why not a shirt for her to cuddle with.

You both are in the fourth trimester. All she knows is you and your warmth. She is adjusting just as you are. The is the time for bonding and doing whats best for baby. If that mean SAFELY cosleeping until y’all get a routine then do that. The Beyond Sleep Training Project has some really helpful information about biolocally norm when it comes to newborn and all young children. Its very helpful. I am sorry you arent getting any sleep. My 13 month old still wakes sometimes 10 times a night to nurse. It’s exhausting but he needs my comfort and that is what im here for. She’s only 1 week old!! Please be patient! Sleep when she sleeps. Ask for help but please do what is best and make her comfortable.

DON’T PUT HER IN BED WITH YOU! It’s such a bad habit. Your bed is for u and your husband. There are many things to look at. Self soothing, not going to bed with a full belly, no nap schedule during the day, Colic, maybe play music in her room, etc. There are several things to look into

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The swing saved my life. My daughter would not sleep unless she was in my arms snuggled up to me. I would sleep in the living room with her in the swing as that was my last option.

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When someone figures it out let me know… My son was like this as a infant and I did every thing under the sun he’s now 2 and, hes still a night owl and, I still only get about 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night. His father is a truck driver and very limited time home on the weekends. I’m currently 6 months pregnant and, am wrecking my brain on how I’m going to survive this lol. Praying she is a sleeper :hear_no_evil::see_no_evil::speak_no_evil:.

Being a mommy is hard and the adjustment is even more hard as a new mom. I’m sure you’ve already thought of this. But if not… Is there a family member or friend who can come and stay the night a couple times a week until you see if she out grows it? Maybe even have to do a overnight nanny if funds are available?

Nested bean sack!!! Changed my life!

How our daughter was when she was born. Had days and nights mixed up. She will be 3 months this month and now sleeps all night until 4/6 in the morning. What helps me was doing tummy time during the day and talking and playing with her. Then at night I played music her dad always listened too when she was in the womb…weird but she loves Bob Marley and only goes to bed to him…if she doesn’t have her music, she will not sleep haha🤦. Also I swaddled her for a couple weeks until she got sick of being wrapped up.

Sleep when baby sleeps !!!

A tight swaddle and a swing good luck mama … I know it seems impossible right now as i was on the same situation but i promise it does get easier

Enjoy the baby time. Sleep when baby sleeps so then yiur ready to party all night.