My parents own the house, my boyfriend and our kids live in. They come in unannounced. My mother (we don’t get along) doesn’t even knock. My dad will at least knock. So, am I in the wrong for wanting them to call and ask before coming over? Normally it’s around the time for homework, dinner and even bedtime…
Your totally right. Regardless if they own it, your a grown women with your family living in there. You need your privacy.
You need to move out or suck it up. Yes, your mother is wrong for crossing boundaries but your also living in her house.
You are not in the wrong. That’s your home. You can make the request not I wouldn’t hold your breath about them listening… maaaaybe live with the door locked? Do they have a key?
Ask them to call and keep the doors locked. If they have a key change the locks and don’t answer the door if they continue to just show up.
Can you lock the door? Or
Change the locks? Are you paying rent or no? They should definitely respect your privacy regardless but sometimes people are not rational with their own property.
Are you paying rent? Yes you need your privacy but if your not at least paying rent then well move. Lock your doors? Talk to them.
Lock your door
If you’re paying rent, which I’m assuming you do. I’d set some ground rules going!
Are you paying them rent? If so then that’s ridiculous and I’d change the locks. If you don’t pay them rent then you need to deal with it or move
If you have a lease then they are legally require to give you 24 hrs notice if they want to enter the home LMAO at least in my state. I woukd speak with them first and explain how it makes you feel.
Start walking around naked. Then let her walk in. I bet she’ll knock the next time.
They are your parents…speak up and say something
If you’re paying rent then she has no right to just bust up in the house regardless of the fact she owns it.
Add a chain lock. So even if they have keys that can’t just barge in
if she owns it she can do what she wants ti/with it
No, you’re not! It’s common decency! Have you tried locking the door at least so she can’t just walk in?
Not at all change the dam locks
Answer the door naked next time, they won’t walk in unannounced again
they own the house. they are y our parents. Moral of the story , don’t rent from parents, don’t live rent free from parents, move. End of story
Isn’t that all parents who turn up unannounced my parents only ring now cause they live too far away however the in-laws show up randomly I don’t think their doing it just because they own the house
Me and my SO and our kids live in a house my mom owns we pay rent and the utilitys but she always knocks before she comes in just out of common courtesy, I mean she doesn’t want to walk in and see anyone naked lol
My daughter is going through this with her man’s mom owning the house …she even wants to stay there at times she rents her house out for 500.00 a night and she can’t rent a dam room …she has other kids but idk why she runs to them …my poor daughter
lock the door. and don’t let her in.
I have had issue like this with family. If it is your family you need to say something. If it is spouse they say something. It is more out of respect for your personal time. I told my husband we have 4 kids so we have to take certain opportunities for adult time. We shouldn’t have to worry about people popping over. It I should be able to walk around my own house in the morning from not wearing a bra and not worry who will show up
If you’re renting, that’s uncalled for. If not, there’s not much you can do beyond asking them to call.
Do Y’all have a landlord tenant thing? This is my favorite lock
Out of respect they should knock.
I understand completely. I rent my parents house and they live in a motorhome that is currently parked in the front yard while they are between trips. We even have a proper lease through a real estate and I pay rent direct to real estate agents. It gets a little annoying when mum pops in all the time. I’m completely fine with her being in the house during the day while I’m at work or on the weekends when I have my kids but when I get home from work I just want to relax and not talk to anyone. Also if I want to have a “friend” come over I would prefer to not have to hide in my bedroom with them when I could have the use of the entire house. It gets a little weird when I have to say to her that I have a friend coming over - please don’t come inside after a certain time.
If you pay them then they need to give you guys privacy. They should knock either way.
Do you knock when you go to their house?
Yes it’s their house. They have the right to walk into it when ever they please. Unless you’re paying rent and/or have a lease. Besides their grandchildren live there I’m sure they enjoy seeing them whenever they want.
Or just everyone stop wearing clothes
It does not matter if your paying rent or its dinner. If you have been there over 30 days paying or not, you are now a renter and she would have to go through all that is required of that. Its rude, illegal and shows a complete lack of consideration and manners. You are a parent. Your allegiance is to your family. Set boundries for their sake. A stressed out mother isnt a good mother.
I had this issue (with my now ex’s mom). It was her mothers house and she had a key. She’d call first and then show up if we didn’t answer. Not right but he wouldn’t say anything about or back me up if I did. Common courtesy would be calling, knocking on a door and waiting for it to be answered. Sadly not everyone will do that. It creates a real problem that I couldn’t overlook.
If you pay rent then yes, if you don’t then you have to remember it is their house.
nowhere says they pay rent🤦♀️
rent= tendants law
no rent= they need to suck it up or move
Why are you even asking? Yes they should call before coming over, rude not too. Put a chain slide lock on.
Ask them nicely to ask to come over. As parents we are busy. I don’t know what the agreement is with the house they own but I don’t like visitors to come with out giving notice first. With that said I did rent a a house from a grandma. She lived right next door and came over at any given time. I was annoyed at the time but now that I have grown some years older I would like that time back. people come to see you and not your house. If the house is what they worry about that’s not love. If they help you with your house it’s out of love for you. It really depends on your situation.
When you see her walking up the walkway quickly get positioned and go down on your husband. I bet she’ll start knocking then
Lock them out. And dont answer… Waste their time 2020 sis…
It doesnt matter that they own the house, that doesnt give them a right to enter it. A landlord can only enter the premises with reason and have to give you 24 hour notice.
That’s what parents do. But honestly if you dont like it move out of their house…
Get one of those sliding security bolts on your door. Then if you’re busy don’t answer the door. If they call and complain you can always say you were in the bathroom.
My daughter leased a house from us and I WOULD NEVER just walk into her house. That’s just rude and your mother just doesn’t care what you think! You are going to have to be drastic or she’ll keep doing it! You said your dad knocks so your mom just doesn’t care what you think or feel
You are clearly within your rights to ask them to let you know when they are coming over. That is just being courteous. Tell them you always let them know when you are coming over. I assume you do…right? It doesn’t matter if they own the house or not. By the way, do you pay rent? That would certainly make it in your favor for them to give you proper notice.
Nope, there needs to be boundaries. Sit down with them and have an adult conversation about why it makes you uncomfortable. Or, when you see them coming when the kids are in bed, get naked and make them walk in on that, they’ll never do it again
Can you lock the door? You still have legal rights to privacy even in their house… I would discuss it with both of them and let them know that you are trying to teach your children about boundaries
Just ask them to call first and to not show up unannounced. If u wanna, put on another lock they dont have a key for.
The naked suggestions are good too lol. That will stop it hahahaha
Keep your door.locked
Make a day where kids spend time with friends or have a sleep over, then wait around naked. That’ll teach em
If you’re paying rent then yes, it’s rude and intrusive! Lock the door! At least put a chain on it.
Maybe they want you to move?
I mean start hanging out in the nude lol
Tell them, “Ya know…privacy is a thing still…”
Lock the door, change the lock
First, make sure you are paying rent.
Second, I do walk around my house naked all the time, so trust me, my grown children know to knock, before just walking in. One learned the hard way! I have to many hot flashes, and live in freaking Mississippi to worry about clothes, when I’m inside…personally…I’m all for no clothes ever…except for cold days…because that would make for a lot less laundry!!
Get a big dog🙄
I couldn’t stand that. What a pain
Keep your doors locked
My question is do you show up at your moms with out calling ? I own the house my kids live in ,I sometimes go there unannounced ,not very often but occasionally .I would never care if my kids or my mother showed up with out calling .Obviously if it’s at 10 at night it’s kinda rude but my family never needs an invitation
I mean, are you paying rent? If so, then they need to respect boundaries. If not, it’s their property.
But if I am doing anything that I don’t want my children or mother walking in on - I lock the door
Lock the doors,change the locks
If so just cause they are your parents, they still need to ask you if they can stop by…
My mother does not know where I live. No address nothing. I don’t invite so that is that.
I don’t think you’re in the wrong, paying rent or not. You have kids and shit to do. Someone randomly showing up can be a big inconvenience. My parents have a key to my place and I have a key to theirs. We text or call about going over to the others house.
Do you pay rent?
Do you pay utilities on the property? Do you have a formal rental agreement? If not, get one and that way as a landlord she cannot just come over and walk in without proper notice. It’s also good
To communicate with them and let them know that they are crossing the boundaries and that you are requesting they not do that anymore
Rude to show up and walk in.
Do you pay rent? If so then tell them you’d like privacy, maybe move…if not then it’s their property either get over it or move out
Put a dead bolt in and don’t tell them
Change the locks immediately!!!
Tell them it’s rude as fuck to invite yourself to someone else’s house and just let yourself in, family or not.
Kindly request that they respect your families privacy and warn you before they come over, especially to keep the kids on a schedule.
I’m saying this almost as a pep talk to myself because my boyfriends parents and siblings do this to us and it’s frustrating.
We were once getting intimate on the couch and only about 3 minutes after we were done, they walked in. It was a CLOSE one.
They also walk in talking loudly to us immediately. I work from home and they sometimes do it while I’m working.
I’m going to have to have the same talk.
I guess I love my parents… they are always welcome at my house… I and 5 siblings do it to each other too
I don’t care who owns the houses who doesn’t own the house-it’s just plain rude to walk into someone’s house, room, whatever, without knocking.
I would change the lock.very rude to come unannounced. Doesnt matter if they own it.this is why you dont rent from family(from experience)
My kids come over without calling, my son will knock but granddaughter just walks in. It doesn’t bother me. My mom would tell me, don’t knock just come on in, we are family.
Lock your door and keep the keys in the lock then she can’t open it and walk in either that or get the locks changed and just don’t give them any keys
Lock the doors from the inside
It’s there house they can technically enter anytime they want unless you have some kind of lease or written agreement. If you try to change the lock and they own the house and you have lease or paper agreement then it’s a civil small claims court case. If it’s really a problem go get your own place.
What I would give to have my parents to come walk thru my door. Be careful what you wish for one day they want be here to come over.
Lock the door…if they have a key…change the locks or add a lock from the inside…
You have rights whether you have a formal rental agreement or not
Choose a day that you KNOW shes gonna show up…have the kids at a sitter, you and the bf be in the living room butt ass naked when she barges in. I assure you, she will call or at the very least knock on the next visit
I think they just want to be around you & Grand Children !!!
Lots of good information for dealing with boundary stopping, enmeshed parents here
If you pay rent then you should of course have basic renters rights. Who doesn’t knock before entering a home?
Wait till you see them coming up to the house and run right in front of the door so you are standing in a spot they see you when the door opens and pull your pants down and bend right on over
As someone who has lost both parents, Treasure the moments now.
Have boundaries declared.
If you pay them to live there. Yes, they need to knock.
Is it their house, that they own, that they do not receive rent for? If it is they can walk in whenever they want as it’s their house.
Should they always knock? Yes, its considerate.
Also. Few people knock at my house. If the door is unlocked the majority of people just walk in.
Keep the door locked, if they have a key, change the locks. If they don’t listen when you say to call/text first, stop opening the door
Your parents are treating you like children. I have lots of theories, but I’ll say this: if you want to live as an adult, and be respected as an adult, you need to establish yourself as an adult in your parents’ eyes. If you’re not paying market value rent, your own utilities, and any other expenses related to living a separate life from your parents, thus showing your ability to be a responsible adult, your parents will not see you as an adult. If you are handling your business on your own, then they need to respect you and your household.
We have grandchildren and their mom (not our daughter) living in our home. We respect her space, and the children’s space. Common areas of the house, however, are fair game. We pay the bills, therefore it’s our place, not hers … Or theirs. That being said, this is their home, and we respect their privacy in their own space.
Mext time you see her walking uo the driveway, take all your clothes off. Husband too.
I own my own home & my parents changed the locks & made keys for themselves when I moved in. They come & go whenever they want. I just deal with it. Plus, usually when they come by unannounced or when I’m not home it’s to clean, do maintenance or leave me a surprise. In your situation, they own the home though so that’s a little different. I don’t think calling beforehand is too much to ask. Either way, you’re entitled to your privacy.
The sad part is … You didn’t say if you pay rent, not that I say that is right , they have no CLASS , but if you don’t pay rent then figure It is my house. I think that is so sad when parents and children don’t respect each other. Please try to talk to your parents . This is bad example for the children.
I guess it depends on the situation. Not much info to go on about the parents owning the house… Like is it there home and you all live there?.. Do they own the house and rent it out to you?.. is there a lease agreement between you?.. what you can and can not do depends on the situation. Personally I enjoy when my parents show up to my home… they don’t call all the time and they just walk in but I love them and enjoy there company and one day they will pass and I will miss the time I had with them. Life is short. Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones.
Put locks on your doors that she can’t open lol
Tell them to let u know when they are coming or come at a reasonable time. If not u will not let them in it’s ur right even tho they are ur parents.
They do need to knock and call especially knock