I am in Texas and my parents have been helping my boyfriend and I raise our kids. We’ve been working and going to school and sometimes things ran late and our two kids would spend the night with them. My son grew very attached wanted to stay there even on weekends, which we obliged since it made him happy. We slowly started to realize my parents were very possessive of our kids and wanted to make all parenting decisions - for example my son was set to start school and they demanded we home school. One thing lead to another and things escalated so we cut contact with them in July. My son start school and has been doing much better mentally than he was when he was being encouraged by my parents to talk back and fight us on our parenting decisions. Me wanting my children to bond has back fired as now my parents have filed a suit saying they want sole custody because my kids lived with them for the last six months. They filed it in late September and I was served tonight (October 11th). My kids did live with them for a couple of months and a little bit of summer but we would see them every single day. My parents house is bigger and nicer than what we have and this was way before things escalated with the narcissistic behavior. Please someone help me with advice! I’m beside myself. I can’t lose my kids. Has anyone dealt with this or has knowledge in this? We’ve never abused them and my parents are claiming that we have have. I know we have different parenting styles but that doesn’t scream abuse. Also, they’re not biologically my parents and never formally adopted me. They only had custody. I also want to add that they are requesting we pay them child if and when they get custody.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My parents are trying to get custody of my kids: Advice?
Don’t worry. They won’t win. Grandparents have 0 rights in almost all states… And especially if they’re not blood related and no abuse is present.
I’m glad you live in the state of Texas. The courts will not take children away from their parents unless they can show abuse. In this case, there was no abuse. Them staying with your parents is nothing different then other parents have done in the past. Your parents were trying to help you out when you were working and going to school. The Attorney that your parents have hired, should have told them that they have no chance of getting full custody. He’s just taking their money. Family court judges will not take kids from their parents unless the children are in danger.
I mean, it sounds to me like they have been the ones raising the kids and your making excuses as to why you haven’t been able to yourself. All people work, go to school or whatever and they still have their own kids.
If you are not endangering the children or abandoning them they won’t take them. Just make sure you get receipts and bank statements proving you financially support them and also references from family or friends about the treatment of the children may be requested. You won’t stop worrying until it’s all over no matter what anyone says so just take some deep breaths and take whatever steps the court tells you.
I see a lot of comments saying, “Don’t worry about it. They can’t get them. It won’t happen.”
I get that they probably mean to tell you to not stress about it.
But by no means should just not worry about it. You need to make it your full time job to worry about it. Be proactive. Don’t just sit around waiting to see what happens next. Get yourself ready. Family court is no joke. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst and expect the bizarre Just don’t be complacent. You got this! Peace
All comments go straight to ‘cutting them out’ and ‘get a lawyer’
If you were to truly look at this situation through the childrens eyes and evaluate what is truly best for the children, surely it is too try to understand and heal the rift with the grandparents and allow the children to have both in their life?
Be honest about the reason they want custody. Be honest about the fact that there’s a reason why the children love to be there. If you’re serious about wanting to be primary carers for your children then create the kind of loving home and parental attention that they crave- whatever that takes- and show the grandparents you don’t need to rely on them but allow them occasional visitation with your children so they also have good secondary role models.
You may still need court in the end but it would go better for you if you have done these steps already.
Sit down with them like mature adults, listen to their concerns and explain how you’re going to move ahead. The children will benefit most by nobody going to court and having a loving extended family around them 
Wow, thank goodness you cut ties with them. Honestly I don’t think you will lose custody of your kids because of the fact that you aren’t an unfit parent. You guys have the help to give you guys a better life. If your parents are causing drama/problems cutting them out was exactly what I have done too. Good luck with facing them in court and explain the situation. Try to get a lawyer too
The family court system has shocked me so much in the past 3 years. Nobody in this comment thread can tell you how it’s gonna go, don’t give yourself a sense of false security. Get an attorney right away and do not talk about anything involving the case on the Internet, with friends, with family. Nobody. I’d delete this thread even if it can be traced back to you. Anything and everything will be held against you. 
unless they can prove ur a unfit parent your kids will remain with you!
Unless u hv been proven guilty of neglect or abuse, they have absolutely zero leg to stand on!!! They hv no case. Period! The lawyer who took on their case needs his license revoked for even entertaining it in the first place. U should be absolutely fine hon. Good luck
If you haven’t done so already GET AN ATTORNEY NOW! Obviously they have an attorney and have had for awhile! I would imagine that since they are NOT the biological grandparents they wouldn’t have a strong case. You also need a good friend or two who had spent time with you when the children were with you. They can testify to your parenting.
Dealing with a narcissistic grandma in California right now. My friend has issues not related but it is my friend’s mother. So i am dealing with peripherally.
1, Grandparents have super little rights.
2, not even your parents? I think the judge will laugh
3, at leaat talk to a family attorney
I’d try to negotiate with your parents. They love those babies dearly. I’m sure they’ve done so much to help you. You need to find a common ground. You will need them again.
Get a lawyer and buckle up. Go take parenting classes before they can make you do them. This sucks cuz ppl can lie and it all comes down to who the ppl like better. I know first hand because my abusers family did it to me. The state takes kid unjustly all the time and ppl need to talk about it more but the fkn know it all comment section will be ignorant af so ppl won’t in fear of the onslaught of ignorant comments.
They lived w someone else for several months?!? Unless it was an emergency situation, this is unacceptable. I am a single mother with three children and have NEVER not had my children for more than 4 days (while they went out of town w my parents or their dad). The oldest is 14. So what else is going on??
Talk to a lawyer. Don’t attempt to take them on without professional legal counsel. Unless they can prove you are unfit as parents it is unlikely your children will be taken from you but don’t go into a custody dispute blindly.
They will not win this, but I worry about them being vindictive enough to try to get them taken from your care (when they realize they don’t have any legal rights) whether they have them or not, so long as you don’t have them. They’re not your parents so even if children were removed from your care they would go to state custody, not with them. I can’t believe they were even allowed to file, but I’m sure a judge will toss this. If they were claiming abuse they should have reported it to CPS first instead of trying for custody, and that says to me that they don’t feel the children are in danger.
Tbh… it’s not as easy as you think to just file for custody and get it. Especially when there’s a home, income, and TWO active parents. Unless there’s something personal you aren’t including, it’s just not that easy. I think you cutting it off and standing your ground just made them mad. You thought they were being good grand parents and saw the red flags. Good for you! I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.
In NJ grandparents don’t have any rights to even have visitation if the parents don’t want them to. If the children are found to be legally neglected, that’s a whole different story. They may give them guardianship instead of placing them in foster care, if & until the parents get their act together. My best friend was always at her Mom Moms house while her parents worked but they never were neglectful.
I’m not sure of Texas laws…… I’m in Massachusetts and the judge would laugh at your parents. I wouldn’t worry but then again my laws may be different. Here at a certain age the child gets to choose who they live with also.
Texas has 3rd party custody and if they can prove they have provided and cared for them they absolutely can win. Anyone can file if they have cared for your children for an extended period of time.
They’re not legally their biological parents so I dont know if they can get custody since there is no relation. Print and record EVERYTHING. Like you agreement they would stay there. Their request for your kids to stay over. Them trying to over step when you requested they hadn’t. Everything you purchased for them, medical bills, dental bills, school functions. If you have pictures. Get an attorney ASAP!
As a former family law paralegal in Texas, you really don’t have anything to worry about. Texas really wants to keep children with their mother, and unless your parents have cold hard proof that you’re an unfit parent, they haven’t got a chance in court. Good luck!
So long as those kids are doing well in school an taken good care of at home there shouldn’t be a problem there with you keeping your kids and the fact they they aren’t your real parents that should be a plus on your side also…Hang in there I do believe everything will be ok …Good Luck
There’s more to this story why are they going for sole custody & not grandparents visitation rights 
who was paying for the kids while they were living there for months at a time food clothes medical etc also who brought then to doctors appt ? … if they were your case could be classified as neglect
Sounds like they’re just looking for a payout not actually wanting the kids for their safety! Any judge will see you didn’t abandon them and aren’t abusing them just go to court and stand your ground! I’ll be praying for you!
Get a lawyer immediately prepare yourselves and your home environment for CPS visits etc. etc. They have to have provable reasons and proof to back up any claims of abuse, abandonment etc etc. CPS will get involved interviews home visits etc etc. Dont panic don’t freak out prepare get a lawyer make sure your home environment etc is in order and don’t be surprised if they want to interview the children etc. And just continue to parent and live your lives best you can till it’s over. Easier said then done I know just stay positive and don’t engage them unless through a lawyer, cps or through the family courts. Good luck
My mother took me to court for custody and lost. A court will not take custody away from the parents UNLESS there is neglect involved; whether it be drug use or abuse.
I’d definitely get a lawyer. You’re in Texas which is very shifty with family court. Get a lawyer and get all of your ducks in a row and be prepared to have your world turned upside down for a bit. There will be an investigation from child services. Do not give them more than they need to know. Good luck
I’m sure there’s alot more to this but it’s rare to take kids from parents. Unless there are serious factual reasons. However, the fact that a lawyer took this case means there are obviously factual reasons. So, better get a good attorney FAST
Pretty sure if they didn’t legally adopt you,they can’t legally do this. Not by way of grandparent rights. Take care or your kids and keep living your life. This whole thing will go nowhere if your a good parent.
I feel like there’s a lot not being said… would love to hear their side.
I don’t live there but my advice would be get a lawyer as it doesn’t matter what other people have been through every case is different. Get one asap as you’ll need one anyway to fight them. As long as they can’t prove you abused them physically or mentally then that’s a good thing. Just keep being a good parent and see what happens. Again get proper legal advice as Facebook is not the place for it.
The only way they’ll get custody is if they can prove you unfit or a danger to your children.
Texas doesn’t have grandparent rights unless a parent is deceased. Lawyer up. Make a calendar of when they were there or with you.
Most states have their statutes posted online or you can Google with your state name to find out what grandparents rights may apply as well as what factors determine timesharing. However, if you don’t respond contesting the allegations and the petition, they might win on default. If you can’t decipher the rules of procedure for family law matters in your state to be able to file a responsive pleading, you’re going to have to lawyer up. Even if you have to sell a car or a kidney, do not hesitate to get an attorney involved. There is likely a deadline for your response (it’s only 20 days here in Florida), if you miss it, they will likely file a motion for default and summary judgment and get custody. Be sure to ask for fees due to fictitious and frivolous litigation. Good luck.
I’d get a Lawyer and an appointed Law Guardian for your kids. You want to stay on top of this situation with as much professional knowledge and guidance as you can get to settle things as quickly as possible
The j7dge shouldn’t give custody of your kids to anyone without proof of abuse,neglect, toxic parenting ,endangerment, or abandonment! If you are guilty of any of them the judge will consider sending you to parenting classes and possibly emergency custody to your parents .but if you are not guilty of anything and you lose custody then get a lawyer and sue !
You’re not telling the whole truth . They’d have no case if things “sometimes ran late” or the kids only stayed “a couple of months.” It doesn’t sound like you know what abuse is either or you don’t want to face that your “different” parenting style is abusive and not healthy . You need to be a lot more honest with yourself or a lawyer can’t help you .
First off…if you do any kind of drugs, stop immediately. Even weed. Second, make sure your house is clean clean and your cupboards are stocked and both kids have their own beds to sleep in. Third, go into court and request that a lawyer be appointed to you and a gardian ad litem be appointed to the children. Ask for CAJA to be involved, if possible. They can’t just take your children. They would have to prove abuse or a gross amount of neglect. Lastly, make sure they can’t get to those kids to coach them on what they want them to say to anyone interviewing them. It wouldn’t hurt for you to do a bit of coaching though. Just remind the kids that they are loved and cared for and happy living with you. Good luck. Would love to get an update on how it goes for you.
I don’t know about the laws in Texas. Typically the natural parents get custody unless abuse can be proven. Read some case law on similar cases to see how courts have ruled. Unless there is something you aren’t mentioning, I can’t see how they would get custody.
So since they have had them 6 months they will get maybe a weekend or 2 but you won’t lose custody unless they can prove ur unfit and not a good mom
Oh my goodness, obviously theres a lot to unpack here, but best advice is to get an attorney, atleast go chat with one. I don’t see this going their way at all and just shot themselves in the foot with ever having a future with your family.
Unless they prove you unfit or any abuse I wouldn’t stress at all about it. Grandparents have zero rights and no court will take kids away from good parents. You’re young and they helped while you went to school and worked. If you were out partying it would be a whole other story but you just proved how strong of a parent you are because you are trying to better yourself for your kids. Point blank-don’t stress it. Their lawyer just wants their money.
Texas law is very cut and dry on this matter. They will have to prove abuse .neglect and or abandonment. Single father that raised both of my son’s I know from past experiences
It might not be abuse but neglect. You can’t just leave your kids in a whole household for months at a time & visit also if things ran late sometimes what does that include ? Hydro shut off no water ? Everyone works & goes to school doesn’t mean we don’t have to raise our kids & take care of our household people do it as single parents you however have the child’s father, there’s far more to this story then what your saying 
kinda sounds like your making up excuses as to why u don’t want to raise your own kids full time also the excuse my parents house was nicer then what we had common nobody would be parents theres always gonna be someone out there that has nicer & better thing in life & more money doesn’t mean we can just send our kids to live with someone eles cuz their better off well then maybe in the long run they will be better off 
get a lawyer & I suggest taking parenting classes
Wow. Your parents are out of line. It’s unbelievable that they’re doing this. I’m sorry y’all are going through this but I can’t see any way that they have a leg to stand on
In texas its my understanding grandparents don’t have rights here. So unless yall are unfit parents you should be fine
Unless you have a past child protective services complaint somewhere in your background, your “parents” cannot, I repeat cannot, take custody of your children. Even with a complaint, it would be nearly impossible for them to do that. Your biological parents would have more standing than they do in a situation like this, and your biological parents have next to no standing, either. For your own peace of mind, check with a caseworker for CPS…tell him/her what’s going on. I’d say go to a lawyer, but those attorneys smell money when they hear something like this. Before you go that route, please run this past a caseworker.
Get a good lawyer.Seems weird that your parents expect you to pay even if they should get custody.Be aware that a court will always look into what is best for the kids.So be prepared for some tough questions,
I agree with what Joy Hill said and I also think to add you should consider a restraining order afterwards. Definitely get an attorney before you go to family court. If you can’t afford an attorney you can always try to find one probono or even ask the court if they can point you in the direction of some assistance. You can also normally get free consultations with an attorney and at least see what you should be doing before the court date.
Cut contact and consult a lawyer especially if they are not even blood related. Good luck.
I would say keep proof of everything if you haven’t been already. Do you have saved texts? Videos? Pictures? Receipts? The more proof you have in your own favor, the better. But I’d also get a family law attorney asap.
My advice would be get an attorney asap. Family Court is unpredictable especially in Texas. This isn’t anything to take lightly. I’m very sorry and wish you and your kids well.
They will interview the children if it goes anywhere and in Texas I doubt it will. I do wonder did you say they lived in another state? If yes, how did you see them daily. FaceTime, zoom?
As someone who is taking their mom to court for custody of their siblings it is not easy at all. They have to have proof that they have had them and supported them fully. And the parents have to go no contact for an extended amount of time.
Get an Attorney and document everything. Since they aren’t blood related I doubt they would get custody of your children. Be prepared for Child Services or CPS to get involved. Mostly just be prepared for a fight.
You may have to get a lawyer, I’m not for sure. Do they have any proof of anything? They are not your legal parents you need to bring that up, and you need to tell why they actually why you let them live your parents also.
Grandparents have no rights at all where I am from. They are wasting their money, their attorney saw them coming.
Talk to a lawyer. They would be able to view paperwork that the grandparents are trying to obtain or show and they can advise you on what to do.
You need to consult with an attorney and have proper legal representation when you go to court.
As long as you can pass everything social services looks for then you will most likely be okay. House in order, kids aren’t missing school or failing, pass drug test etc. They will talk to your children also. A judge is unlikely to remove them if there are no red flags in the parents home
I don’t know how things are in Texas, but in Canada, if it’s safe, the judge usually goes in favour of the biological parents if they have been in the lives since day one. But courts want proof. They want dates, receipts, physical proof of anything you can, even parenting logs.
As long as their abuse allegations aren’t credible, and they can’t prove abuse happened, they won’t be getting custody.
There are no grandparents rights. I would never let my children see them AGAIN. Also I would keep my finances stable.
They can’t take the kids 1 there not related at all 2 unless the grandmother has prove the the kids are being abused or neglected the judge will not give the grandmother custody ( ik I’ve been in state custody from 2001 until 2010)
Take the kids to therapy get the kids to say the type of things your parents did and see if you and your boyfriend can relocate. I would cut your parents off completely. This is a serious violation.
Also, raise your kids yourselves.
How old are the kiddos? If old enough, they will be interviewed.
Judge will make the right decision. Will take a lot to prove yall are unfit parents, to loose custody. Watch what you do and say to anyone bc it certainly can be held against you.
Def ask for an attorney ad litem for the kiddos.
Keep your head up. You got this.
Unless they can PROVE you’re an unfit parent the state won’t take your parental rights away. So if you’re good mom there’s nothing to worry about really. Get legal counsel of course. Idk why parents would do this without a reason though. There’s nothing illegal w working and going to school so unless there’s More to the story. Idk why they lived w them 6 months??? That would create a strong bond. Was that an agreement or did you just abandon them and now wanna come back? If so that is not good for young kids to not have stability. Idk all the facts of this of course. Hope things work out in the best interest of the kids though.
Have you talked to the kids about why they want to stay w them? Or to grandparents as to what their concerns are? Maybe you can reassure them about things and work out where kids live w you but see them on wknds maybe. Best of Luck w whatever you decide. But as a parent, put your feelings aside and evaluate your life and theirs and think HONESTLY what is Best for the Kids?!
My case was similar but I voluntarily signed a temp custody order to their grandparents with open visitation which was my biggest mistake…make sure you put designated hours of visitation in writing or they can choose to keep the kids away for as long as they want to…I had no record and no drug history or abused them and they made it where I only seen my boys in public places for a couple hours on Friday …?I filed for my custody of my children when I had enough stability such as-having a job and place to live they had way more money but 9 months later I got custody back finally
Sounds like they want the kids to get Child Support. You haven’t done anything wrong but trust the wrong people. If you think about it they never formally adopted you because uf they did they would have lost money from the foster system. Prayers for Your Family 
There is obviously more to this story because it makes no sense. Don’t fool yourself by lying to yourself. If you want to do what’s best for your children you need to be honest with yourself about everything that was/is going on. Most parents are not just going to step in to their grown daughters family to try and take her children for absolutely no reason. You need to get your home and self in order and get things going before court. If you need help with addiction get that started now. Mental health start now. If tbe kids have missed any dr or dental apts get them there asap before court and up to date with their doctoring. Don’t not worry. You should be worried. There is obviously a reason you let your parents keep your kids at their house all summer that probably has something to do with addiction since that’s the leading issue in the world right now. Help your kids by helping yourself. Don’t lie be honest with the court. And be willing to do better.
I mean there seems to be a lot more that you’re not saying. If it’s exactly as you’re stating then yeah, no way will the court take children away from their parents and give them to their grandparents. BUT if CPS has been involved, drugs, alcohol or DM well theeeen you might have an issue. Only you and them know the whole truth. As someone stated above, many people go to school and work full time jobs but still care for their children 24/7. Children don’t ask to be brought into the world, you chose that for them. Therefore it is 100% your responsibility to care for the children and IMO the responsibility should’ve never been shifted to your parents. They obviously stepped up when you didn’t. I can’t blame them for feeling abandoned. Weather you visited or not they put those babies to bed every night and woke up with them every morning. Of course their going to get attached!
You need to obtain an excellent lawyer. Wow horrific on their part. Get information together you’re in for a fight.
I doubt any court would side against parents. However, get a lawyer !!! Start documentation about their behavior. This could be serious. Do NOT let the kids go over there !!! Don’t let them have any contact until this is over, even then I would consider cutting them OFF
They won’t necessarily win the case everything has to be proven get a lawyer or go to legal aid.
Just because they have more doesn’t make them better
If the kids live in grandparents household and your not paying them for room board and babysitting then yea your neglecting your kids. I’m not sure if they can take the kids but I’m sure DHS will get involved.
Why do people keep saying “grandparents”? They’re not grandparents if they are not blood related and never adopted OP. They only had custody. Why did they not adopt? Is it because they were continuing to get money? At the end, it states they want OP to pay them, is this about getting another child for money?
I’ve seen this within my own family which is why I’ve cut ties. JS
I’d say no longer allow your kids there. No reason they should have had them that long. Babysit here and there for school, sure. But live there…no. and no judge gonna take your kids for getting your education. I’d say eliminate the visits with the grandparents…that’s not help…that’s control.
They won’t get custody unless they have proof your unfit. Go to court stand your ground and don’t let them go over there until this is all over with.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this they don’t have a leg to stand on unless they can prove you unfit and then the judge SHOULD give you so long to correct it. Off to go to parenting classes but GET a lawyer. Do you have legal aid in your state which is low income attorney help?
Sing like a canary in court. Tell it all! They have no grounds if you were never legally adopted and you and your husband stand together to TELL ALL.
It’s unlikely they will get custody. Grandparents don’t have rights unless both parents are proven unfit or agree. They have to prove their claims beyond reasonable doubt. Fight for your children and do. Or send them there for the time being.
FIGHT and run. You need to grab your kids, show up to court, explain to the court that those are your kids and they have been helping for school and work. But if you don’t fight, it will never get better.
Hear in missouri…that would not go…I don’t know what state your in…but get a lawyer…besides the fact that that good grandparents do not try to get their grandkids to not listen to their parents unless there is a real specific reason…(like something far out there) they should be working g with the parents not against them…in my book that goes against them right there in a nut shell…not only that …they need to realize they are NOT the kids parents…shame on them…and what they are doing is also not good or healthy for the kids… .and that should be their first and only concern…what is actually best for the kids…also it’s up to the parents to decide if they go to school or are home schooled…I have grandkids…I love dearly…but in the end…that decision Is solely based on what their parents choose…not what I would choose one way or the other…I am only their grandparent…not their parent…good luck and fight for your kids best interest…
Honestly I would hire an attorney. Chances are nothing would happen but also helps to have legal counsel. Also, any form of contact whatsoever make sure you keep records. Do everything over text so you have documentation (or emails). Don’t do phone calls and don’t to face to face conversations.
Courts won’t take the kids away from you. Your parents can however drag you through the court process and make life miserable but you won’t lose them.
Let them waste their money , grandparents have not right over their grandkids, they will not win unless they can prove that your kids have been abused by you and your husband.
As long as you have a stable home, food in the cupboards, and do not neglect your children you have nothing to worry about. No court will take them just because they got close to their grandparents. Pretty horrible on your parents part if you ask me. Just make sure you stay calm at all costs, do not use drugs and do what you should be doing as parents your totally good. I’m sorry for the emotional stress this is causing though. How unforgivable. You got this.
Tara, trying to figure out how they won’t let them when you are their legal parents/guardians.
Question: who’s gonna help you with your kids now and who’s your back up when you “run late”? I’d approach and reconcile. You need help, they love and are there for the kids. This whole fight has to be so stressful for the kids. These years fly by and are gone forever
Hire legal counsel asap. Weird things happen in family courts. So be prepared to show documentation and timelines for everything that has transpired. You gotta be above reproach and anticipate what type of accusations they may make and have hard evidence refuting it. For example, if you think they will make claims that you and your spouse are drug addicts then go ahead and go get drug tested and bring those clean results to court.
Have all information regarding their schooling, their medical, dental and vision care and receipts showing that you took care of these things. Build a timeline for what happened, when and why and who was involved etc. Time consuming but will help you tremendously should you happen to get a judge that entertains this madness, assuming of course that there isn’t more to the story and all that.
Just better make sure you have jobs and a bedroom for each child…Those are the major things they will look at
Hugs. My mom decided to take in my 11 year old and set the stage for the next ten years she was gone less than a month and begged me to come home. the house has never been the same. Fight it. They don’t have the right to do that. And if you don’t fight it they think you don’t care. Also get his teachers to write notes on his progress and attitude while
Living with you as well as anyone else that can voucher. And since you were served aren’t you covered for a lawyer? Use it.
They not blood so cut all contact with them, this is not a healthy relationship and they seem to want to control you. You have no tie to them, so break away.
A judge has the authority to make any judicial ruling. Take ZERO chances and retain representation
They are not blood related; are nothing of you as an adult if they only had custody of you as a minor and did not formally adopt you. I would cut all ties with them if I was you, get a restraining order against them and even move across the country if possible. I would not share kids with people like that or give them access to them.
Who ever has the most money to pay the attorney will win . My niece lost her kid to my sister in a case similar to this . Minnesota