Hey me and my partner of 8 years I am a female he is a male. We went out with friends the other night. We we’re all out drinking and having fun! We ended up back at the apartment and one thing turned to another and things started getting hot and heavy with the other female we were with and you can imagine what happened I. The bedroom than My partner walked in and for about five min I was trying to convince him to join this is something we have never done before. He was saying no to the offer which only lasted 5minutes and than finally he gave in. Obviously you can also imagine what happened there. We made a deal afterwards that we would try with a guy. Two days later he told me that he is not happy with what happened and he feels disgusted in me and in himself for participating in something like that . I feel kinda hurt as I feel it’s different that I didn’t get to get with a man but he got to get with a women and he no longer wants to introduce anyone into our sex life. Am I wrong for being upset about me feeling that is not fair as he is saying I initiated and participated in the situation with the female too.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner and I had a threesome and then he regretted it: Advice?
I would be disgusted and leave. Sorry not sorry. I wouldn’t even partake. Not putting my man in men if he went in another women. 
! Definitely wouldn’t put my thing in you if you have another man in it! You started to cheat, got him to do it. You all don’t belong together.
Well, you did start it. If he doesn’t wanna do anymore I wouldn’t push it.
It was new. He tried it. He didn’t like it. Respect his wishes. You can’t be mad he got with the female when it was your idea and he said for 5 mins he didn’t want to 
Literally nothing good can come from a threesome. Imo, yes your wrong.
Maybe he’s just not into it ?
I mean… If it took 5 minutes of trying to convince him that should’ve been a sign that he wasn’t comfortable with it. I don’t think it’s fair to bully him into doing it again just because you want to do it with a guy this time…
You can’t be upset with this at all. He told you no to the first incident as well. And you disregarded his feelings 100%
If you expect men to respect the word no then you should respect when they say no. He told you no to BEGIN with and you coerced him into it for 5 mins… honestly you were in the wrong to begin with in my opinion
You can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do. If he felt disgusted by it why would you push him to do it again with a man this time?
If you feel you want to be with another man, maybe it’s not the right relationship for you.
I agree with him. I wouldn’t be able to partake.
It’s disgusting. He needs to kick you to the curb.
You pushed him to do something he wasn’t really that interested in. I’d leave you too
he’s not interested u can’t force him 
I wouldn’t have even engaged in that situation in the first place. A marriage or relationship is for 2 people only. If you are interested in having intimate relations with someone other than your partner, you don’t really love them.
You should of talked about this beforehand. It sounds like a drunken, spur of the moment. Now you have expectations of something & he isn’t into it. So yes, you are wrong.
You pressured him into it. He’s not into it. Get over it.
Its sounds like he only did it because you wouldn’t take no for an answer. Focus on your marriage and less on inviting others into your bedroom. Or be honest so he can move on with someone else.
Ummm ur wrong. U pushed him into doing something he didn’t want too. And now he’s saying he doesn’t want to do this… leave him if u want other partners. He clearly doesn’t
It may not seem fair to you but either you keep pushing for it to happen and possibly fight over it. Or you let go the idea of bringing a man into the bedroom and he’s happy and you’re resentful. Or grow up and realize he just didn’t enjoy it like you thought he would and stop complaining.
Gross , all 3 of you should feel disgusting.
You had to convince him after he said no. Red flag. Respect his boundaries, imagine if the roles were reversed. If you gave into something you weren’t comfortable in because you felt pressured or to appease your partner, you wouldn’t be happy either.
I mean, you kinda forced him into the threesome with the chick… if he isn’t enough then leaVe.
Sounds like you pressured him into it, and that’s not cool.
If you wanna cheat then just say that.
Well … you initiated it . Sounds like he caved more from your persistence then him being " this is what I want to do " you shouldn’t of begged him to do what you wanted 
I mean you wanted it and them once he caved I feel like you then felt like it was ok cause he participated. Shame on you .
Don’t get me wrong this is nothing I would ever want to do with my husband 
I’m stingy like that … mine lol
But if all parties are WILLING and happy to do such a thing. Do it . Your life to live none of my business 
But in this situation I feel like maybe you need someone who enjoys this stuff or an open relationship so you can have multiple partners
My thoughts are that if he had really been into it, you wouldn’t have had to spend 5 minutes convincing (coercing) him into it. Next time listen when someone else tells you they’re uncomfortable .
So you were getting hot&heavy in a room with a woman and your partner walked in on yall and you tried to convince him to a threesome which he DIDNT want to do and now you’re mad you didnt get to do another threesome with a man because he got to do a threesome with a woman which he didnt even wanna do in the first place 
I woulda dumped your ass.
He feels disgusted with himself about that. And your jealous he got to try it.
You started this. He didnt want to. He initially rejected it. You continued to try and got him involved. Dont push him any further unless you want to ruin your marriage
You’re upset for because you feel it’s not fair that he’s saying you initiated when you admitted to doing so and then convincing him for 5 mins to join in?
Lol. He tried it, he didn’t like it. He doesn’t wanna do it, seems like he didn’t want to do it to begin with.
The fact you’re more worried you didn’t get to sleep with another man, and not his feelings is a concern.
No means no, you sound like a predator 
So he caught you messing with a female and then you coerced him into sex with the two of you after he said no first… he now tells you yet again he isn’t comfortable with doing it again so either work on rebuilding the trust you’ve broken and hurt you caused him or do him a favor and let him go find someone who treats him better
This is something you talk about beforehand and agree to and plan for. Not something you just spring on someone and basically force them into. You probably ruined your relationship.
He’s not comfortable he did it because he was trying to make you happy. Now you want more and he’s saying no again… listen 
You’re whack asf. Imagine announcing to everyone you weren’t raised right. This post backfired like a 92 Honda Accord. I Bet You Were Totally Unprepared For The Response Your Post Is Getting. Clowns make an average of $51K/year, and you’re out here doing it for free. Pretty sure he felt pressured by you and the only one that wants to do all dat is you. And you disregarded his feelings in the first place 100 percent
If you wanna be ran through just say that… he’s not comfortable watching his partner suck or fu*k another guy… he didn’t want to to begin with.
so, you raped your boyfriend?
You pressured him to get what you want. You put him on the spot and didnt give him a choice
You should be ashamed!
He didn’t want to in the first place and it’s wrong to guilt him into more. Especially, if y’all weren’t sober when he said he would. People can withdraw consent, but I guess his didn’t matter the 1st time as he was pressured into it.
Wait, WHAT??? You basically decided to CHEAT with a woman and when he walked in you invited him to join??? He kept saying no and you kept asking!!! Wtf
Sooooo you utilized a moment where you were caught cheating with someone else as an opportunity to pressure him into doing that?!
He just don’t want you to sleep with another guy that’s all it is!
He wasn’t comfortable and said no. You even said “he finally gave in”.
Unless you guys have an open relationship or your poly I don’t think this situation is ok at all…
If he said no then why did you keep on?
No means no. Period.
5 minutes of convincing him? Sounds like he mightve only said yes under peer pressure.
He didn’t want it and you kept pushing. His feelings are valid.
He told you he didn’t want to do it and you pressured him into it so. He didn’t want to do it. If you want to be with another man then do it but don’t be expecting your man to stay with you then.
You asked him to join even when he didn’t want to at first. He doesn’t feel comfortable. That should tell you something and be happy .
You went out drinking and sporadically ended up having a threesome with a female. Did you talk to your boyfriend prior about your desires to have a threesome? If not, I don’t think him getting the girl he walked into you with and joined is equivalent to you having a threesome with a guy(in his eyes) and I don’t feel like that’s fair. You can be attracted to both sexes while he’s only attracted to females🤷🏼♀️
If u can have another dude dick you, while hubby watches, you got issues…
You were all drinking and then decided to do this??? That was your first mistake. This would be a serious decision to make about your relationship!! It shouldn’t be made when everyones been drinking!! 
We all know what alcohol does to your inabitions!!
Prob cuz he would have to do a threesome with a male LOL
So basically, he walked in on you cheating on him and you convinced him to join in, against his wishes, and now you’re trying to act like he did something wrong? Just no. Full stop. You’re completely in the wrong here.
My husband and I had a threesome(another guy) and I regretted it after too so I understand where he’s coming from. It’s probably not about not wanting to do it with a guy. Plus if he’s so disgusted then you don’t have to worry he will ever ask for it again with another woman. If he does then you’ll know it wasn’t him being disgusted.
You’re seriously gross
Unfortunately you’re in the wrong here. He said no and you coerced him into it even though he said no.
He is also correct the fact that you did initiate it with the woman…. So to me; you saying you’re mad because you don’t get be with another man says you just wanna stray outside the relationship and have him partake so you can feel better about it….
So you convinced him to do something he wasn’t willing to participate in and then get hurt when you cannot do it again for your own self pleasure. Yes you’re wrong.
Break up. You killed it.
Count this as a blessing! One and done! You need to focus on if you guys have the same wants and what you want. To be happy it happened is one thing to want to continue after your partner says no seems like y’all could be on different pages. And you should never beg or push your partner to do things it could be sa.
Sounds like maybe you should part ways. if you are more worried about getting to sleep with someone else than your partners feelings on a situation you created.
God if the gender rolls were switched here people would be freaking out
Sounds like you kind of forced the situation on him… so yeah you are wrong
Wow my ex and i had a threesome with a man and i woman but i NEVER pressured him…me and my current bf are looking to have a 3some with a female and he made it clear that he did not want a male at all…and im ok with that because i will have fun either way but u seem like ur more worried over the fact u didnt get to sleep with another man…so ur jealous of that even though u instigated the first encounter…ur in the wrong not him
Nope and that is why you don’t bring anyone in the relationship and or marriage. I never have and never will. U pushed him to do it after he said no so u can’t be mad at him.
Sounds like you started the whole thing and begged him to join when he didn’t want to, to begin with. And now your mad you don’t get to sleep with another man. Well your partner said no so no means no!
Hey if you want to be with another man then get divorced seems u husband doesn’t want to be involved in it to be it is wrong just my opinion good luck with whatever y’all decide
If you are that worried about being able to screw another man just get divorced. No need to make excuses to try and get what you want, when you are the one that pressured him to do it with the female in the first place.
You pressured him into doing something he said no to and now you think it’s unfair that he regrets it and doesn’t want to keep adding extra people to your bed? People would be rioting if a man did that to a woman. He’s the one that was put in an unfair situation. I would have broke up with you on sight.
Yes your wrong tf u pure pressured him into something he didn’t want to do and trust me I feel like any man would jump on that situation but if he said no right away he really didn’t want to he should be disgusted with you 
the fact that ur only disappointed with u not getting to do it with another guy is sad
You can’t force him into it after he said no to begin with then be mad and jealous. It’s obvious he didn’t like it or how it made him feel (emotionally, mentally, and possibly physically). Sorry, I think your feelings are completely invalid. If you’re going to be mad and jealous, I hope he finds someone that respects him and his boundaries.
You did initiate it. He has every right to feel the way he does. So because you cheated, and encouraged him to do so, you want to force him to watch you cheat again, while he already feels bad. You brought trouble into your relationship. This is all on you. And you are selfish.
Sounds like you definitely initiated it
It’s something he never wanted and he felt peer pressured. He did say no. These kind of things can really lead to relationships failing hard. Please listen to him telling you no. Please don’t feel jealous. I mean you were going at it with this girl and he was going to let you! Do you have that kind of relationship? Drinking doesn’t make it ok at all. In some places drinking can null and void any supposed consent.
Your very wrong. You basically pressured him into a sex act he didn’t want to do…not cool
He didn’t even want to from the beginning…you begged him…he literally said no…of course he regrets it. You seriously cant expect him to let you take it from another man now?..
You are in the wrong right now, not your husband.
My personal opinion a threesome or however many partners you want to have in it needs to be done when you’re sober. That is a big decision to make and when you’re drunk you think you know what you’re saying but in the light of day you regret what happens. Your husband saying he’s disgusted with himself and you he’s probably regretting what happened.
As far as you being upset that you didn’t get to get with another guy but he got to get with another woman personally I don’t feel that you should be mad about that. However everyone is entitled to their feelings.
You pressured him into a threesome he didn’t want, and you’re trying to spin it like he got something special out of it so y’all should go against what he wants again. Smh that’s gross. That threesome was for you and you know it. You literally admit you were already doing stuff when he walked in, which makes me think you pressured him to join so he couldn’t call it cheating…
I was in this exact situation not long ago. He’s my ex now
He told you originally he wasn’t interested and you coaxed him into it. No means no
You are wrong. Very wrong.
- You pressured him
- You don’t do 3somes on a whim!
Umm you cheated and got caught and convinced him to join I’m guessing you also convinced him to agree to another with a guy. This entire situation is all bad. I’m guessing he is on his way out the door because he clearly can’t trust you to even go out with “friends”
Bruh he got what he wanted and now doesn’t wanna reciprocate letting u do something with a male. I’d be mad too tht ain’t fair 
I agree with everyone, you pressured him and he didn’t feel comfortable. He only did it bc you wanted to do it. You shouldn’t be upset that you don’t get to experience the same thing with another man.
Tell it like it is that just sick
So basically… you pressured your bf in to a sexual encounter after he said no multiple times and now you are pissed that he is disgusted and wont let you fuck some other guy? I want you to flip that table around real quick and put yourself in his shoes. If he had been the one pressuring you and you continuously said no but he kept begging until you finally “gave in” and said yes, you do realize how many people would be lining up screaming peer pressure and borderline rape, correct?
Relationship over I’m afraid. You shouldn’t of pushed the issue. He won’t be able to trust you anymore now.
Didnt you initiate sex with the other female and he denied it at first ? So like, you cheated and then pressured him to join in with you ? Yeah girl you’re in the wrong
Based on what you wrote you did initiated. He told you from the beginning he didn’t want to and you disrespected his wishes. No is no
Yes youre wrong.
“Finally caved in”
Quit pressuring people into shit. He only agreed so you wouldn’t be upset and to make you happy.
Yeah definitely something that should have been discussed alone ahead of time while sober. His feelings are valid. You coerced someone who was drunk and technically not even able to consent to join you and another woman for sex…
It’s not like he brought the girl in. U begged him to join… he has every right to feel the way he does.
It will never work now because he will always remember that
If we had posted our bf put this pressure on us these women would be beside themselves yelling narcissist and abuser!!!
You are no different. You put him in such a horrible position and rather than comforting your man and rebuilding that trust you’re pissed you couldnt be spit roasted.
Break up. Then don’t commit to anyone else.
So you cheated, tried to cover it by getting him to join in and now you’re gaslighting him and making him out to the bad guy? Hmm
If you were going to experiment as a couple surely you’d have that discussion prior and sober.
Sorry but you’re wrong you initiated It he didn’t want to from the beginning. He didn’t want to with a women, seems like you “forced” him. Why would he want you to sleep with a man??? Let’s be real.
No means no learn about consent even if you’re in a relationship no means no otherwise it’s a form of rape if you wanna get technical and if I wanna get even more technical nobody can consent when drinking
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