My partner and I and our three months old moved away to Australia, where I have no friends or family around, but the money was better for him as well as jobs. We have been here for a year now, the son is one, and I planned on going back to work but haven’t been lucky enough to be successful in interviews, etc. Since moving here, I had to become reliant on my partner’s income to support us as I had to leave my job, and once maternity leave and pay were finished, I no longer had an income. Since then, when my partner and I have arguments or disagreements, he will always bring up the fact that he supports our son and me and will say I’m useless and do nothing all day and just to get a job. I feel so low and like an absolute leech about it and regret ever leaving in the first place. As most of you will know being a SAHM is not doing nothing all day, cooking cleaning etc. So I do feel like I useless mother and partner. He works 30 hours a week and then will go to the gym for a couple of hours and come home leave his dirty clothes everywhere like a child after school and just sit on the couch and holler at me for food like I’m some slave, and I do know that for a lot of people this is normal, but at the same time, it’s absolutely draining especially when I don’t have any release. I don’t get time for myself. I don’t get to hang out with friends, and I can’t go shopping with my son for a decent amount of time before he starts getting bored and screaming. Recently I’ve started social marketing and have started making $600+ extra per week for us but still the same arguments and “get a job” “I pay for everything” when I’m clearly bringing in money to help out. This is so long, sorry, but I just don’t know what to do now. Also, he will go to the pub when he wants and will go hang with his friends from work and family that live here but will get mad if I want to leave our son with him to do the shopping. I just wanted to know what is right and wrong because I see so many people on here that say your life should be your son and your husband. Even though he’s yet to pop the question and I’m not sure he ever will tbh. I feel like an actual slave. Is this normal. Does anyone else have the same issue or have been through it?? My partner and I and our 3 month old moved away to Australia where I have no friends or family around but the money was better for him as well as jobs. We have been here for a year now, the son is one, and I planned on going back to work but haven’t been lucky enough to be successful in interviews, etc. Since moving here I had to become reliant on my partners income to support us as I had to leave my job and once maternity leave and pay was finished I no longer had an income. Since then, when my partner and I have arguments or disagreements, he will always bring up the fact that he supports our son and me and will say I’m useless and do nothing all day and just to get a job. I feel so low and like an absolute leech about it and regret ever leaving in the first place. As most of you will know being a SAHM is not doing nothing all day, cooking cleaning etc. So I do feel like I useless mother and partner. He works 30 hours a week and then will go to the gym for a couple of hours and come home leave his dirty clothes everywhere like a child after school and just sit on the couch and holler at me for food like I’m some slave, and I do know that for a lot of people this is normal, but at the same time, it’s absolutely draining especially when I don’t have any release. I don’t get time for myself. I don’t get to hang out with friends, and I can’t go shopping with my son for a decent amount of time before he starts getting bored and screaming. Recently I’ve started social marketing and have started making $600+ extra per week for us but still the same arguments and “get a job” “I pay for everything” when I’m clearly bringing in money to help out. This is so long, sorry, but I just don’t know what to do now. Also, he will go to the pub when he wants and will go hang with his friends from work and family that live here but will get mad if I want to leave our son with him to do the shopping. I just wanted to know what is right and wrong because I see so many people on here that say your life should be your son and your husband. Even though he’s yet to pop the question and I’m not sure he ever will tbh. I feel like an actual slave. Is this normal. Does anyone else have the same issue or have been through it??
You’re obviously not stupid and know this is wrong. LEAVE
Reread this and tell yourself what to do. Seems pretty obvious
Even just go for a walk around your local supermarket with your child in his pram . SO many people will chat to you , as a baby appeals to everyone.
Take that day to NOT do anything at time & when your husband comes home & complains that you haven’t done anything . Tell him - well these are the things I do on a daily basis.
Also - if he can’t put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket - then don’t wash them…
See if there is a women’s centre where you live & see a counsellor there to get some help as well .
This os NOT relationship, a relationship is were you are a partnership on bothside were you say honey im going out please look after the kid he says" sure honey be safe" and owner ship is don’t you go out you can’t do this or that , and as Australian myself thats is a form of abuse, a from of domestic violence against women, and whats he doing behind you back? Go seek help mothers group which or playgroups in the area, you need a healthy environment, go seek right wear your child can not leave the country with him.
Why the hell are you asking us? The answer is obvious hunni, leave. He doesn’t value you and sees you as he says.
Save up airfare any way you can and get out. $27.40 a day is $10,000 in a year
Good luck
You’re in an abusive relationship and need to leave
Not normal no. He sounds like a narcissistic gaslighter. You sound well able to look after yourself and your son. Sounds like you earn well. Go live your best life. Don’t waste another minute.
Honestly…fuck him. He’s an abusive ass who aimed to isolate you and it worked. Get out with your son before it gets worse. Get ahold of your family, get tickets for you and your son and leave.
It’s time to leave go back home and build a life for you and your son. If he’s raised in this atmosphere he will behave in this way as an adult.
Get the hell out of there. Yes, you are a mum. But you are still human, and have a life to live yourself. Don’t let any man tell you what you can and can’t do, who you can and can’t see ect… You are you’re own person too… If you have to ask him to watch his own son, he was just a participating part on conceiving your little boy, he is no Dad!! Dad’s don’t babysit, they are the parent too… And if they don’t want to parent they should keep it in thier pants!!! Get out of there!! Ask you’re family for help, move away if need to. It will all seem whay too much to begin with,but will definitely be worth it in the end… You and you’re son will have a great time just the both of you, which seems to me already is, but this time will be without control, stress, put downs and hassle. Good luck x
Not a healthy worth waiting for him to change relationship. Congrats on being able to use your skills and bring in some money but honestly, start banking some money away, dont tell him and not in a shared bank account, and leave with your child as soon as possible. Please dont marry this guy as the behavior will stay the same if not get much worse.
Honey he has isolated you, made you reliant on him and him only. He has made this very move specifically to make you feel exactly how you are right now. He is mentally and emotionally abusing you and no one deserves that. You deserve way more respect than this. You are the mother of his child. But more importantly you are human. Take the money you are making now save up leave his low down dirty ass and move back to your family. If he loves you he will follow if not… You do the math. Your child does not deserve to see their mother being treated this way. They will grow up thinking it is notmal to do others this way. Walk away. Focus on you and your kid
Girl! GIRLLLL. Listen to me PLEASE. I beg you. This man does not love you. He probably likes the idea of loving you but he DOES NOT love you. First of all, this is absolutely not normal behavior at all. You are nobody’s slave… Your obligation is your child, yes. Your marriage should represent teamwork respect and love. This man does not see you as part of his team. You are convenient for him and are allowing him to treat you this way by obeying him. Put your foot down and let him know this will not be tolerated anymore. He does not own you. He can NOT control you! Respect yourself and leave this “man” because he will never change. Save up the money you are making from network marketing and get the fuck out. Call a friend or fly back home. But this man will never change trust me. It is not your job to act like this guys mother. You do not need permission to do things for yourself. For him to make you feel this way is toxic. It’s Not love. A real man would support you emotionally and mentally and will let you have “me” time without making you feel guilty. Take care of your baby and get out.
Get out of there …go back to your family any person that doesn’t allow you to contact friends and family is not SAFE. To be around …they are narcisstic and all they do is control YOU …abuse will follow and the child will also start getting abused. Saw it to many times
I’d say leave and go home but im not sure you can leave the country with your son without his father’s permission tbh.You can start by leaving the relationship though.Make a plan.You need to be able to financially support you both so start there.With your own income you can move forwards and remember leopards don’t change their spots!
Get a job make your own money take your son and dump his sorry ass
The first thing abusers do is isolate their victims from their friends & family–from any support they have so that the abuser gets free reign to torment their victim who is pretty much trapped.
It’s easy for other people to say “Leave” but, not so easy to do. Especially if you truly love him. You say you’re making $600 a week and he works 30 hours a week, right? So, what’s stoping you from getting a sitter and going out for “your time when he’s working? Make friends, go shopping, go to the gym…whatever you’re in to. Go do it. On the other hand, if you don’t love him, if the love is gone then, yes…save for the flight back home.
With the situation the way it is. You are a single working mom. So go be single. And have peace. You make enough. Save your money find a place to live and move
Your poor excuse for a significant other is an abusive asshole. Classic abuser behavior…alienate partner from family and then friends. He gets to do what he wants, when he wants and you are expected to wait on him hand and foot and accept being treated like shit!!! You need to remove yourself from this relationship before your son starts acting like his POS father!!! It is not a wifes place to take care of baby and father…your job is to take care of YOU and YOUR BABY!!! Get your stuff and your kid and go back home and find a decent man!!!
Leave. It will never change, even if you get a job he will be the same. Been there, done that. You need to go. You do not deserve that kind of treatment.
Get the hell out there he is a piece of shit
First of thing start doing some self love and know your worth, you are not in a relationship that’s a situationship, any person that tries to isolate you from friends/family it’s clear he wants to control you. He doesn’t see as his woman he sees as his maid, since you said you make $600 per week you need to start saving in order to plan your exist strategy. Talk less and act, don’t ever settle for less than what you deserve. Pray and ask God for guidance and a way of escape, before this situation get worst. All the best.
You need to make up your mind to leave and never look back, you may love him, but it’s clear he doesn’t . Physically, mental, emotional and verbal and are abuse no-one should subject themselves to any form of abuse.
I couldn’t even finish reading… LEAVE, RUN, GET OUT, ETC., ETC., ETC. That is mental abuse and uncalled for.
Leave hun go back to your family and friends fuck him
Leave him! You deserve better!
Save your money and buy a plane ticket back home and leave when that mans working fuck him
If he didn’t have you he would be paying a babysitter, a maid, a scheduler for appointments, a cook & more.
He’s nvr gna help. Get a full time job and watch him continue to do the same garbage with different excuses y. Run Forrest Run
He really did isolate you narcissistic control freak , book a flight pack your bags and get home to your family with your baby before he gets home from work xx
That’s a form of abuse. And will only get worse. Get out while you can before it gets worse
Leave him now pack your things and your son and tell someone about your situation and ask for help leaving. Tell your family in the US to help you. If child is american born I’m sure you can legally take him
No offense but are you insane?
Leave this is Domestic violence
Let’s b real about this situation. It didn’t happen overnight & it won’t change overnight. Locate a resource Center &/or mommy & me group to start building an outlet. Remember as long as u r NOT married u r SINGLE. U have to take care of self
You are being emotionally & financially abused… there needs to be some heavy conversations. Please have self worth & know that yourself and child deserve better. Domestic violence comes in more forms then physical abuse.
I’m sorry but why do people even ask these questions. Why is common sense not so common. I would have recycled his ass the first time he even grew balls to think it.
Leave before you have another child to support
Sorry honey but it will get worse. Book a flight with the money you’re making and go back home.
He doesn’t love you. He controls you by keeping you away from everyone. Trust me I know. They will never change the moment you mention it they turn around and treat you like you’re crazy and making things up in your mind. Save yourself the heartache, LEAVE
RUN!! Why are you still there? Go home to your family. This is abuse. Leave while he is gone !
Take your life back. He is a Male Ass. And you deserve better for your son and yourself. Life is to short to live it in hell. Leave as soon as you can. 
RUNNNNN!!! Loser was much like him! Narcissistic and abuser! You are better off! Trust me!
Get OUT ASAP ::: OMG ::: this is horrible :: a slave U R to him ::: RUN ::: Take your son and GO :::: it will never get better ::Only worse :: Go back to those who LOVE YOU ::: he is trash :::Pitch him OUT . GO HOME . I wish U well .
Take that money you’re making, save it and buy some tickets to get back home. Why would you want to commit to a man who will always treat you like this? How many years are you willing to live this way?
Start saving money know where your passports are take your child and leave. Go to the police station tell them what’s going on, they can get help to leave him
The money your making every week save it for a flight back home or use his credit card and leave ASAP…nothing will ever change…good luck
That is abuse!! Mental abuse is worse than physical, you need to find a domestic violence advocate and let them help you by getting as far away from him as possible…
Book your flight and leave to go home asap.Leave when he’s at work.He’s verbally and mentally abusing you.Physical abuse will follow. Please leave soon.
This man is controlling u u have no choice but to leave gotba hold of your family in the USA and go this will not get better good luck
My ex was like this…and when I got a job he wasn’t happy…he doesn’t have to hit you for it to be abuse…
I obviously left as I said ex…
Hit the road. Save up that money your arent making and bye bye!
Girl, I lived this life for 30 years and then he said he didn’t want our life anymore and booked. Do yourself a favor and create a life for you and your son now! You are worth more than just being some man’s servant. Go back home with your son and be happy.
You need to go home to your support system. He’ll never change and you need to take care of yourself. If you go go down - your son goes down. He’ll never change - you need to make the change! God Bless you on your journey!
Leave, leave now, and be safe.
Run! Run fast and do it ASAP! Go home. This is not normal, this is abuse. And there is not even a drop of love. Listen to everyone, save yourself and your son. Good luck to you 
Verbal abuse is as bad as physical abuse, get out any way you can. Now!!!
Please leave if not for you, for your son. It’s only downhill from here, believe me I went through that crap for 14 years. Situations just escalate. Go home to those that love you.
I’d like to know who these fucking people are that said you being a slave n waiting on your boyfriend hand n foot is normal? N who also said that your son n spouse should be your main priority?? I get your son but why should you make a douchebag like that a priority or have to live like a slave n be verbally abused everyday? He wanted you completely dependent on him. He got it.
I had that with my husband and he was an ass hole I was with him 21 year I he was jealous of me and he did the same to me so I left him and it was the best thing I did and I am happy now and he is just trying to control you but do not let him you need to do what you want to get on with your life all the best
You got isolated!!!
gain your power back get out of there.
I am sorry to read this and feel so bad for you. I personally wouldn’t have move to another state let alone another country with someone I am not married with/to because of the situation that you are in now. Please reach out to your family and try to ask them to help you get back to them with your son. I’m not wishing this on you but I don’t see your situation getting better. Peace and blessings.
Please leave this man and don’t marry him. A man who loves you would never demean you. Sending love
Leave him now! It will only get worse.
Why is it that I can’t read the whole post ?
honestly, you would sign up for a lifetime of this mental cruelty? (I would tell him) Sorry to break it to him but buddy, you knock up your girl, You WILL be supporting that child regardless, and if you move your girl away from everything familiar INCLUDING a job, and end up supporting her too, then be a fucking man and get over it! Now, on the other side of that, sounds like he moved you across the world to isolate you and honey, that is a long-term set up for severe physical abuse. Honest to god, I’d hoard that money you’re making and make a quick move home ASAP. No way in hell you’re gonna see anything better, if it’s like this before you even get a ring on your finger. Run, as fast and as soon as you can.
This is not normal and extremely unhealthy as well as a terrible example for your son to see his mom treated this way. Leave him! Move home to your family. Contact a DV group in Australia and they will help you coordinate how to leave. He will not change. He is a poor excuse of a man and doesn’t deserve you. Most importantly your son doesn’t deserve to see you treated this way. Rise up
He is definitely mentally and emotionally abusing you. He is no man and does not know how to treat a woman like you. Go back home and take your baby since he acts like you both are a burden to him. Let him know how you feel about everything. Communication is key!!
Leave now while you can that is abuse do you seriously want your child to see that and think its ok and think its love or do you want better he obviously doesn’t deserve you so leave him before it gets worse
Very unhealthy, demeaning, manipulating and controlling. You already know deep down and that is why you are messaging.
That’s abuse lady. Cut and run!
I would run honey in the middle of the night
Save that money you make from the marketing job you have and get you and your baby out of there and close to family if you can. That’s emotional abuse and it’s not okay! I’ve been a stay at home wife and mom for 7 YEARS! It’s not all rainbows and unicorns and eating bon bons on the couch every day. Its exhausting and hard work just like a regular day job only difference is we dont get paid to do it. Please do not accept his behavior anymore and leave his ass!
Go back to your family with your son.
Come join our unfiltered parenting group😜
I would most def leave. You do not deserve this and you are devaluing yourself by allowing him to treat you less than you deserve. Mental abuse is real and just as bad as physical
You feel like a slave probably because he treats you like a slave. Domestic slavery is a form of abuse
Question: why are you with this person? You need to tun and never comeback! I was with someone like that for 15 years!!! They don’t change!
Leave that Narrasisit!! Dont let your son see 1 more min of his emotional,manipulation behavior! Hes not a man.
This isn’t normal. Sorry honey but if suggest either couple’s counseling or you leaving. If he want like this before the move. I seriously wonder what he’s up to.
If at all possible, you need to leave. I grew up in a household like that, and i am now in therapy for it. You and your child both deserve better. You’re a human being, not property, not a pet.
Honey this is manipulation. Your partner is beating you down mentally. You deserve to be treated as an equal. You’re both making money, you both have a child to care for. He’s being childish. Sit him down and talk to him, but not at him and explain your feelings. If he’s not up to hearing your side, you must make a decision to either live with it or want something more out of a partner.
I know how you feel and thats shitty
Save that money ur making and leave. U and baby go back to where u were working and have ur family and friends. Hes a douch bag u deserve better
Go back to any family members and dont say nothing to him…get a plane ticket and while hes at work pack all your stuffs and leave hun…when he gets back then he will understand you for being a good woman of sense then when he calls you then you tell him your next move! If he threatens you then get the authorities involved hun…he seems crazy and need help…plz be safe and take good care of yourself and that bb…God bless
He moved there for better money. To support you both?? That’s why you moved, for money. What again is the problem??
A real partner will never treat you this way. I know it is incredibly hard to leave, especially because they are the one who added to that fear and make you feel like you can’t and aren’t even worth trying to leave. But you are and most definitely your son is! These people never change, I can promise you that. It will only get worse and nothing you will ever do could change that. Save your money, especially because you don’t contribute anyways right… 
and buy you and your son plane tickets back home. Leave everything behind and start over. It may be scary, but honey I can attest that doing it alone and happy is so much more fulfilling than anything he can ever do or be for you. I had a father like this and an ex husband, I truly began thinking all men were the same, but they are not! While there is a lot of crap out there, there are those few really good, loving, and supportive people who would never on their worst day treat you like this or ever say any of those things to you because it would never even enter their mind to begin with! Your son will grow up so much happier seeing his mother happy, then he ever will in that house. If you think it will end with you, you are sadly mistaken. If not for you, do it for that little boy who deserves better.
Sounds to me like his controling you.
No it’s not normal. He’s more than likely a narcissist and is emotionally abusing you at the very least. You shouldn’t have to put up with that. Being a stay at home mom is definitely hard and if he’s harping on you to get a job even though you’re able to bring in that much extra income you should seriously consider leaving. It’s not all about you anymore and your child is going to grow up seeing how he treats you and think that’s normal and your child will do it too. I understand the move was most likely for the money, but he’s secluded you and that’s how abusers get their power. They cut out anyone who’s remotely supportive of you and don’t allow you to really have your own life. I really hope you get out of there, even if the only place you have to go is to stay with a friend or family. Just because it’s not physical doesn’t mean it’s not abuse, and just because you’re supposed to be happy and do everything for your son and husband doesn’t mean that’s a fulfilling enough life for you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There are some great narcissistic support groups on Facebook if you feel you have no one you can confide in, but keep in mind that not talking to people about it furthers his hold on you
Gather money, and gtf out of there!
This is abuse. He likely moved not only for the pay, but to cut you off from your support system. Now he is mentally beating you down. This is abuse. You need to get your son and yourself out.
Document everything: date, time, what was said/done.
You want to build a case in the event he tries to go for custody.
Honey you are being gas lighted and manipulated. It’s emotional abuse and you deserve better than that. I hope you leave him and find someone who cherishes you and your son. Because he’s not going to change, he’s a grown child.
Just because he makes more or better mo ey then doesn’t give him the right to treat you that way. Leave now while the getting goods.
I’d be saving the money you’re bringing in and leaving him. He’s treating you like shit because he wants you to have no self confidence; he knows you can do MUCH better than what he’s providing. I say at this point, make a plan to safely leave. Gather you and your son’s documents and keep them in a safe spot, make a grab bag for you and baby. Something you’ll be able t grab and go.
He’s an asshole leave that mother fucker
Ok for some if your the 1 at home you dont mind looking after everything and cooking for ur partner when they are home, but being ordered about like a slave is a huge disrespect for you… I do a lot for my hub he does get lazy but he asks if I could etc and if i dont ametc it’s fine its something he knows is done from love not something I’m expected to do.
It sounds like he’s using his income as an excuse to treat you however he wants to. He’s taking advantage of you to the fullest extent. In marriage or partnership, it works both ways. Both people have to compromise and do things to help one another. He should never let you feel like you’re less important or not useful because you aren’t bringing in enough money. I’m sure it’s hard to think about leaving him, especially with a child… but it sounds like it’s in your best interest. It will likely only get worse once you marry him… seems like he would then feel like he owns you. I’ve been on disability for a couple years now… and though I don’t bring in as much as my husband, he never makes me feel guilty or ever barks orders. I think you know in your heart what you should do. But it should definitely start with an open conversation with him about how you feel and what you expect of him if your relationship is going to work.