So my and my partner have been together for over 7 years now, we have a child together and another one due next week. We have always had a bit of a rocky relationship, but when we get along, it’s amazing. He has recently decided he doesn’t like my best friend, so every time I’m planning to do something with her and our kids, I get “in trouble”. For example me, her, and our kids went to the park yesterday, and it has resulted in him saying I choose her over him, and he has now moved our house, yet it is meant ok for him to go to his friend’s house. Tonight? It hurts me most because he and my friend used to get on so well, and now he’s decided he doesn’t like her. I always make sure to time for him too, but the hurt and stress he is causing me over something so ridiculous is just too much anymore, I can’t cope with it and cant even speak to my friend about it as I dont want her to think its all her fault.
You need to leave him and move on with your life.
Has to be a reason why.
Find out why he no longer likes her.
Did he sleep with her or did she knock him back
Given everything you’ve said, I feel as though something happened or he knows something that’s making him uncomfortable with this friendship.
It’s likely not for nothing.
If I were you…I would take the time to talk to him and figure out why he has a problem with her. Go into that conversation with an open mind and intention of hearing him out rather than the intention of rushing to her defense.
Is he possessive?? Sounds to me like he’s trying to isolate you! Tell him you don’t tell him who he can and can’t see and he can’t do it to you and if he carries on then you can’t be with someone who tries to control you! You want to show your children a happy relationship, they learn how to be treated and how to treat others from what they see and the last thing you want is for then to think being controlled is natural
Red flags… why the sudden dislike of ur friend?
Dont let him control u… ur an adult and he is not ur parent…
He’s making you feel bad then retaliating… Narcissistic behaviour red flags
Either something happened between them two or maybe she knows something… or he’s trying to control you
Um I couldn’t get past “in trouble”. I couldn’t imagine being in trouble with my husband. You are not his child. He can be upset and not happy. This sounds very toxic. You deserve to be treated as an equal.
He is trying to isolate you from those that give you strength!
He’s busy maybe talking to others wile he’s with his friends so pushes that guilt on you by causing drama!
Or maybe tried something with her.
Does he try controlling other relationships with family or friends?
Does he make you feel guilty for any time. Spent away from him?
All red flags!
I’m f***ing grown, I don’t get in trouble!
He is jealous of ur love for her I’ve Been there he even accuse us of being lesbian leave his ass it’s only gonna get worse trust me I dealt with a jealous pig for way too long before igot the courage to leave RUN AND RUN FAST !
He seems toxic. It raises questions like, “did he want her and she rejected him?”
Are you sure they didn’t sleep together and now he’s being all shady
Seems like a narcissist, sounds like something I went through…
This is how abusive narcissist isolate you so they have complete control and get you away from those who can help you and give you strength. Hes going to start with your friends then work his way to your family until you are completely alone and only have him and no way out. Hes going to spew toxic lies about them until you believe them. Anytime you try to reconnect, retaliate, or try to leave it will result in you “getting in trouble” and him punishing you with whatever form of abuse he sees fit.
You need to leave now. While you still have time to. Once hes accomplished the other things it is almost impossible to leave because the abuse won’t just stop at isolating you. No a narcissist will tell everyone around them how toxic you are and you are the one that is abusive. They will threaten to take your kids and make you think you aren’t good enough. They will break you until there is nothing left and mold you to their own preference and liking. Once hes done those things leaving is not only almost impossible its dangerous because who’s going to be there and believe you? He made sure no one would. Leave please.
You honey are not in trouble by a partner. And when I read his sudden dislike for your friend I thought hmm when did they sleep together. There are a lot of read flags and being controlled is not ok. You deserve better you need to realize that and so do your children.
If he liked her and suddenly he doesn’t something happened between them you don’t know about. Nothing else makes sense.
Um he definitely had sex with her and is trying to not out it by pushing you away from her. I would drop them both
You really should consider leaving him … Don’t let him tell you who you can and can not hang out with
SO VERY True something wrong, check IT out TO CONTROLLING, ALWAYS
Google narcissism. This is classic narcissism. Get out now and save yourself the heartache and potentially years of your life.
He just wants to be controlling and to be honest maybe something happened between them that’s why he is like that
Had same problem he had made a pass at her end she threatened to tell me
Thats so abusive. Good spurts aren’t worth feeling like you have to walk on egg shells
Red flag! It’s not about your friend. It’s about him having control over you. The less people you’re around the more control he has. Get out now! Don’t look back.
Oh ok 1 things for sure he definitely sleeping with her y else would he not want u around her?! Strange right! you are your own woman u don’t have to answer to noone get out now before it’s 2 late!!!
He’s trying to find a way out sis!!
Toxic abusive time to leave
I agree with the others, possibly narcissistic behaviour. Also could be they were cheating behind your back and she ended it, or he made a move on her and she rejected him. Or she could of made the move on him and he doesn’t want to hurt you by telling you the truth. You need to sit down with them individually and ask wtf is going on
Im gonna need a follow up on this
Tell him to f… off
Dump him and don’t look back.
This happened to me once (me being the friend) & his reason was cause he was making moves on me & was obviously scared I was going to tell his girlfriend so going by my experience I’d say he’s probably tried or done something with your friend or something like that!
…or he crossed the line with said best friend and now feels guilty. Just doesn’t add up why they would get along so well and then he suddenly doesn’t like her? There’s more to this story…
I’d find out why. And hear him out without defending her or saying anything, really. No arguing. Let him explain. But if you’re not going to listen or even take anything he says into consideration, maybe it’s better he just stay away.
Not everything a man does is “abusive” or “narcissistic”. 🤦
Tell him you’ll pack the rest of his shit and have it onthe lawn and to stay gone. Boy bye!
I’m curious what his reason is for not liking her. Is he jealous of how close you guys are? Has she treated you poorly or said anything offensive? Is he manipulative and controlling? Or did him and your friend cross a thin line that betrayed you (behind your back or not)? I’m genuinely curious because he might have a good reason for not liking her anymore
Dump him. Is he your partner or you dad?
Hes trying to get you isolated so he can control you further. My EX husband used to do that too.
Make sure he takes the kids when he goes to hang out with his friends, like you do when you hang out with your friend.
My first thought is he is sleeping with her
Tell him to suck it up or step aside. As parents, we need that escape and adult interaction. You are not hurting anyone and trust me, being isolated hurts.
Well, maybe ask your friend what could have happened to make your spouse act weird. If you’ve known her longer than you’ve known him, she should be honest, even if it’s painful. Can you hear whatever she says without getting mad in the moment at either of them? If so, tell her you want the truth, even if it’s painful.
If they did sleep together, what would you want to do with that information, and how would it change your relationship with your man and your friend? Once you know, you can’t un-know it.
I hope it’s just something she said that made him angry/disgusted/uncomfortable. In the meantime, tell your guy he can’t tell you not to hang with her until he tells you exactly why, otherwise you will continue to socialize with her.
Congratulations on the new baby!
My best friends boyfriend decided he didn’t like me because I had a boyfriend who trusted me. He would start fights with her about me over something I said or did that would have offended him if she had said/done it. He was a straight insecure narcissistic asshole. He eventually poisoned her against me and ruined our 20 year friendship. It has never a d will never recover. Don’t let him do that to you. If he has a legit reason to not like her then fine, he doesn’t have to be friends with her. As long as she’s not betraying you or trying to do some shady shit to you or him then he needs to suck it up! My husband has friends I don’t care for but I get the f over it because they’re his friends and they’ve done nothing to me!
Look up Borderline personality disorder.
My ex did stuff exile me from all my friends, it happened so slow I didn’t notice it at first. I was so isolated for so long I actually forgot what it was like to have friends and how to have friends.
Time to figure out what is up; it’s not fair having to choose between the two and that is shitty!!! If he can’t tell you why, then you shouldn’t have too. Jealously is an ugly monster that shouldn’t be allowed or tolerated.
In a healthy relationship you need partner time and friendship time. Both are important.
I would like to know if he doesn’t like you doing other things. .
If that is the case then he is controlling…know this from experience…
If he’s ok with other stuff and encourage you to do stuff then something happened between those two… doesn’t mean sex…bit something
He sounds like a control freak with an agenda to get you isolated. Just No. you are entitled to have the friends you choose just like he is. If he starts by controlling this, its only gonna get worse.
Ohhh I remember when my controlling ex husband was like that. I left him and I ended up with no friends. Good luck
Do NOT stop seeing your friend/friends, no matter how much of a strop he gets in or whatever threats he makes. Think of your children’s happiness and yours of course & also your sanity otherwise, before you know it he will be the only person you do have to speak to or do anything with , if & when he chooses to. Leave him ASAP actually. It will only get worse from this, a. lot worse.
My sister,him and your best friend could be sleeping together and he is afraid that she will say something or let it slipped by mistake… investigate
RED FLAG ALERT Is be suspicious if something happened between them recently.
Why would you put yourself through that. Be strong and bid him farewell you’ll be better off!
Drop him no trust no partner don’t let him control you
So he used to like her but now he doesn’t, that sounds sketchy to me.
Sounds immature and controlling. She is your friend and you should be allowed to see her and hang out. I would be upfront and honest with him, let him know she isn’t going anywhere.
Leave. Seriously. He is trying to control and isolate you.
You have a 7 year relationship and 2 children with this man! Don’t you think you should try and communicate? Maybe he knows something you don’t! Come on, you need to put your family first!
Your best friend knows something that he doesn’t want you to know. Or something went on behind your back. Don’t push your friend away. Sit back and watch. It will come out eventually.
You definitely need to talk to her & see if maybe he approached her and was turned down and he’s alienating you to try & avoid you finding out. I’ve seen that happen too many times to friends and this is how it unfortunately played out.
If they used to get along well and all of a sudden he stopped liking her and doesn’t want you hanging out, that means something happened between the two of them.
Your are big girl . He is not your dad he’s just your partner tell him to grow up and get over it . You can’t be tell each the who you can be friends with your not kids . HE IS NOT YOUR DAD
People don’t just switch against someone for no reason, they use to get on and all of a sudden he doesn’t like you hanging out with her, gotta ask yourself why?? I’d look deeper into it…
He probably had an affair with her. Move on.
Very abusive! Leave before things get worse. My ex took me from my family and friends before I finally left him.
whats he got to hide
I am surprised you’re not pushing to find out why he suddenly doesn’t like her.
With almost all of these questions on this page, there just seems to be no communication with couples. And then I read people living in toxic awful relationships and the last line is always “btw I am pregnant”. You don’t talk, trust, or understand but you choose to have a child together and bring another innocent life into the drama. I don’t get it. Yes, I am judging. But some of these dilemmas are ridiculous!
He either has feelings for her or has slept with her.
Na eff him, hes manipulating and gaslighting you, that’s abuse, hes a narcissist, I’d count my losses and go with the babies
Rose Marie … umm he better lawyer up and get a good pen!
Could she have made him feel uncomfortable at anytime maybe, I know most are saying that he may have approached her but maybe it’s the other way around and he doesn’t feel comfortable and doesn’t know how to tell you about it.
Maybe your friend knows something about your SO or vice versa that he doesn’t want you to know.
He sounds narcissistic asf and trying to control you and to worry about getting I’m trouble by your man that tells me he has already worked s number on you already I see people are saying something might have happened with him and your friend yes something could have but not even in that since even if she’s a true friend she ain’t gonna go that route maybe she said something to him about the way he treated you or something and he didn’t like that and feels threatened that she’ll say something to you and convince you to leave him or he could straight be jealous of her because your spending a lot of time with her because narcissistic are like that they want to remove anybody who they are jealous of or see as a threat In some kindA way and they want to have you to themselves because he wants to hide you away from people so he can do what he wants and he’ll do it to family to if he hasn’t done it yet so once he breaks all connections you have with anyone than the control will turn into abuse I would not waste no more time on this dude I’d throw the whole man out before it gets worse cause it sounds like he’s already doing a number on you it’s about molding you into what he wants so know your worth and run or send him packing while you can good luck
I would talk to him about it because it doesn’t sound right. Don’t lose your friendship and probably talk to her about it and make sure she knows it’s nothing she did that you know of. But it’s what’s stressing you out. You need your friends like he needs his.
It’s staring you in the face. Somethings happened between them. Speak to your friend.
Communication is everything.
Ask him why he suddenly doesn’t like your best friend.
Message you’re friend and act like your husband has admitted somthing and see how she responds just say he has told me everything! You will know with what she replys
You lost me at having a second child with someone you’re in an admittedly “rocky relationship” with. Like… why do people think it’s fair or appropriate to bring children into unstable situations? Move in with your girlfriend and y’all raise those babies together in a stable loving home where you are a partnership and you show those babies what a supportive healthy relationship actually looks like. How about that? No more men. No more babies.
Something happened and none of them is forthcoming with information. In essence, both are not lying but omitting to let you know what’s up. However, omission is just as bad as a lie.
You really need to get to the root of what changed between him and her before you can move on with him.
strange! what happened? I’d be questioning it & he’d give more of a answer than “because”.
I’d bet something happened between the two of them.
Seem like bd and bff slept together and trying to hide it.
Right that’s pretty shitty and toxic behavior on his part. You’re a grown ass women and you can be friends with anyone you want and if he has a reson to dislike this person all of the sudden he needs to talk to you and then YOU can make a decision.
Its called a narcissist.
My ex husband did it all the time. Hed say i chose my friends over him. Which was not true. He wanted me to have friends, then Id get friends and then im hanging out with them too much or whatever, when before I would make plans with them, Id ask him to do something with me and he wouldnt. Guess he just wanted me to sit at the house and be miserable with him.
I would wonder why he ‘all of a sudden’ doesn’t like you around your friend. Is he scared you will learn something that he doesn’t want you to know? Is he trying to be controlling and isolate you from friends and family?
Find out why he doesn’t like her.
If it isn’t a good reason then tell him he can’t destroy your relationships over nothing
I people act suddenly jealous because they are doing something wrong themselves and don’t trust you because of themselves, he hit on her and she turned him down, or, he’s just being an ass and wants out because it’s more than he bargained for
Run, it only gets worse
He moved out. Let that child go.
Yeah, red flags… I am sorry they once got along and now they don’t but, he wont give any concrete reasons? Ever think maybe they had a thing and perhaps he is now scared she will come clean?? Why else would he all of a sudden expect no contact? I hope for your sake I am wrong, but there seems to be so much more missing from this story. I would sit both their asses down by surprise and say hey…what’s up?? And tell her what he said right in front of her…And watch the body language.
Sounds like he is doing something wrong and she knows or he tried to do something wrong with her and she shot him down
Him hating her out of the blue for no reason seems suspish. I’d find out why
Sounds controlling to me.
Definitely a red flag there if he’s changed his opinion for no reason. Either there is a reason and you didn’t include it here or there is a reason and only your hubby/bff know what it is…
Run. He’s a controlling ass. I’ll only get worse.
First sign of domestic violence, separate from family and friends.
Sounds like a red flag to me. I wouldn’t stick around
I am only guessing but it honestly sounds like there is something else going on. Ask him. It sounds like there is a reason for this change. Maybe he heard her say something or someone told him she said something bad or rude about him(or about you)?
Maybe she hit on him and he doesn’t want to tell you and hurt your feeling and so he is asking you not to hang out with her? Or the other way around and he is afraid she will tell you.
I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I also have to mention…maybe the two of them did something he doesn’t want you to discover?
I would ask Jim why the sudden change of heart where she is concerned. It just seems like there is likely a cause.