I mean there isn’t a middle ground.
But him saying he doesn’t want anymore but you can have them is a MASSIVE RED FLAG. He will end up raising them if you have them because they’re your kids. Is he gonna ignore them? Pretend they don’t exist?
Like dude wtf. He doesn’t want to have anymore from him but he’s okay with you still getting pregnant and having more?
Just not from his sperm?
What?
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If he knew this before the other children and chose to not say anything that was leading you on and wrong. I would have a discussion with him and explain why you want more and give him the chance to explain why he doesnt. Then take a while to think about what you both one and if feelings change, and go from there.
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He doesn’t want anymore children. That’s his right. You do, that’s your right. If having more children is that important to you then you need to find someone who wants the same thing.
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So many women want just one baby and you’ve been blessed with two but it’s not enough for you 
I have a feeling he is content and has a full heart with the two babies he has. Be happy he gave you two healthy babies and focus your attention on them… or ruin your marriage and give your babies a split household life because you think you need to have more kids.
Life is not fair, but you have 2 wonderful kids.
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Unpopulat opinion maybe but if he doesnt want more kids, there is no compromise between more and no more it’s one way or the other and one of you will be unhappy in the end. You shouldnt push it if he doesnt want more. Why make his life harder just because YOU want something. Honestly I wouldn’t want another kid with someone who didn’t want it as well it just creates animosity on the whole thing.
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He is deciding HIS life. He wants 2 children. You don’t force someone to be a dad.
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To be fair he didn’t decide your life, he decided his. 
he doesn’t want anymore. You’re free to leave if you want more children.
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If it’s a deal breaker then take his advice and move on… just like it’s your body your choice it’s his as well if he doesn’t want anymore then it is his right 
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He is also allowed to have an opinion on the situation. Maybe his no is a not right now. Idk I wouldn’t chose to become a single mom over this. You have two, you’re happy. Enjoy the two you have and ask again when they’re older.
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Can you be home with them? Can you afford them?
This is a hard thing my ex was this way he didnt want any when i got pregnant with our son. Very adamant he didnt want more. When i did get pregnant 8 yrs later by accident again he made sure we didnt have anymore. Its very uncomfortable for me to talk about. No one knew till our divorce proceedings. I have a nephew the same age as that pregnancy. He used to say things like that to me as well. Now im with someone and have 2 beautiful girls. He begged for kids lol and wants more. Idk give it time you know your husband, he may just mean right now no more. But dont live an unfulfilled life either.
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I would say look at your relationship are you happy? I had my ex tell me the same thing the same way. That was the first in a series of bs. I left and now i have 6 kids total.
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Mother Earth 
would say 2 is enough!
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I had three and wanted more. He didn’t want more and didn’t get a vasectomy. Nine years later along came number 4 and 16.5 months after him came number 5 plus 2 miscarriages after number 5.
If he seriously doesn’t want anymore children but doesn’t get a vasectomy, I’d let go and let God be in control of the entire situation.
Wasn’t even that long ago, there was a post on here about vasectomies not being 100 percent effective. Just my thoughts and personal experience. <3
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His tone is so terrible. Maybe it is time to start your ‘running away from home’ account.
Any man you gives his ultimatum like this is unlikely to be a ‘keeper’.
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Sorry he has the rights to say no. His sperm his right. Learn to live with it or leave that’s your choices
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It sounds like in begining he wanted more kids like yourself, but real life may have got in way and he feels two is enough.
You have few choices, leave and have more kids
Stay and be happy with two you have, discuss more maybe in future
Last get pregnant on purpose if you want more but prepare for what direction he may take.
Me and hubby had two each prior to been together. Neither of us wanted more. After accident my 6 yr old is now here. We def wouldnt be without her now
Do what he says and go elsewhere 
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There is no “compromising” in this situation, there is no give and take. He has every right to only want two children, just as you have every right to want more. The only advice I can give you is to decide if this is what you want.
A friend of mine was married when her husband decided he didn’t want kids after all. She divorced him. Now she is happily remarried and her drive to be a mother was so strong, her and her now husband spent seven years trying to conceive due to infertility. They have the most precious daughter.
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This was me 15 years ago. I have 2 boys and wanted another child husband was firm no and no discussion about it. I was well at the time so didn’t fight it. I regret that I didn’t try harder so my suggestion to you is to do some counseling together so you both have your voices heard
It’s easy to say before kids I want a big family, the reality is so different to the dream. If he is adamant there’s nothing you can do except stay and enjoy the 2 you have or separate and find someone else. The right over his life and body is no different to yours
Mine said no more kids and I got my tubes cut and burned and I regret the decision every day. If he said go elsewhere that’s what I would do. Take your two boys and find someone who shares your ideas on what family is.
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True he can not beside your life, but he can decide his.
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Let him go in to the doctor then and take care of it. His choice.
Does he have more children outside the home he has to support? If so that’s a big financial risk for him. Unfortunately most man seem to only take that into consideration.bsounds like he is being pretty blunt and straight forward. Maybe take his advice.
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This is something you both should have discussed in detail before getting together. Even then, people can change their minds. And you can’t make him have more children. You’ll have to decide what’s more important to you–him or having more children.
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I went through this with my husband. I was getting ready to leave and my husband changed his mind and got a vesectomy reversal and now we have our third baby boy. It does not work out this way everytime though.
Give him sometime he may come around. Or you may change your mind.
Lol. He has the right to say no. If it were a woman saying she didnt want more and a man upset y’all all be like “her body her choice”
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You said it’s not fair that he decides ur life but are you fair to him . You have 2…be thankful. And if u decide to trap him,make sure u r prepared to be a single mama, cause men who state those things upfront will leave you.
Ur dreams can come true…big family dreams
Is legit reason to contemplate ur future
Now the new journey is to find a really great man who also wants more kids
And is good to urs and that’s the hard part
I dont think ur man will change his mind
But dont trap him by getting pregnant on purpose
That’s really a conversation to be had before deciding to spend your lives together either way if one of you doesnt like the solution then there will build resentment. I mean no disrespect or criticism but I do really think you two need to discuss it, it’s a serious life choice
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He did compromise though. He had his 2 kids. He shouldn’t have to have more if he doesn’t want them and it’s not fair of you to try to make him. It’s either a deal breaker or not. You need to sit down and throughly talk to him about it and think about.
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My husband only wanted two and I wanted 3 but he won we are still together and strong as ever
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Yup. Discussion time. Although him saying that you can go elsewhere to have more children is immature and disrespectful in my opinion. How would he feel if you said, “Sperm bank here I come!”
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Seriously? He’s NOT deciding your life, he’s making a decision about his life. If you are not ok with it, walk away and find someone else to have more children with. I think that’s selfish if you actually. You have two healthy beautiful boys. Be grateful everyday for that. You also say, “He’s always known that you’ve wanted a big family” however, Did you actually ever sit down with him before staring a family and talking about how many children you two would have together? Just be grateful.
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So you think it’s all about you. Ummm no, he has say so also. Like he said go else where 
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That was conversation u should have had at the beginning. Like most relationships things change over time and sometimes people go in different directions. However u cant force someone 2 have more kids if they dont want them. Sit down discuss both your feelings if he doesnt want any more kids but u do u have a choice 2 make either move on or choose 2 be happy with what u have.
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I know what you mean but you also have to consider what your partner wants as well and not force him into having more kids because you’re going to regret forcing a life long decision on someone that clearly said they didn’t want.
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See, i was on the other side. Okay, if you dont want more kids i dont need you to have them. But either way this might be a dealbreaker and you deserve the kids you want.
Its his decision a woman can say I’m done and that’s it but if a guy doesn’t want anymore that’s not good enough sorry but not sorry he has as much say when it comes to his body just like a woman if he says no well don’t have an option except to find someone else
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I don’t think you can compromise on having children lol. It’s a yes or no thing. If he doesn’t want anymore children, you aren’t going to have more children with him. You have to choose either him or a new child with someone else unless he caves in
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He may be feeling neglected.
Maybe hes feeling the pressure financially and us having a more realistic view with your view more emotional. If he feels he cant financially, physically and emotionally support more kids then he is right to say so. I feel you should count your blessings and live a happy life xx
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Well then you have make a decision. Do you want your husband or do you want more kids? Then have that discussion with him.
He did compromise!! You have 2 kids! There’s his compromise. He doesn’t have to give you your way. Where’s your compromise?
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You say he knew what you wanted, but did you know what he wanted?
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He’s being honest and you need to respect that. It would be worse if he just did what you wanted and ending with a destroyed marriage and 4-5 kids.
He’s put the ball in your court. You can decide if you can be content with the 2 you have with their father…or if you want to leave this marriage for more kids with ?
It’s a gamble. Time for some serious soul searching.
Other options - emergency foster home, running a home daycare, volunteering as a Big Sister. There are lots of ways to make your life fulfilling while helping kids.
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He isn’t deciding anything for you. He is making a valid decision for himself. He doesn’t have to compromise on that. He obviously doesn’t want more. So can you be happy with only two? If not leave and find someone who wants more. Very simple.
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Children are a lot of work, take the two and be happy with your husband.
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Did you not talk about this before you started your family? Sounds like his mind is made up. Now you have to make a decision. Do you really want to separate your children from their father so you can go have more with another man? You might want to consider counseling.
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It’s not all about you, just like it’s not all about him.
He can 100% say he’s done having kids, he’s not deciding your life.
Don’t force having more kids on him. You have two babies and just because he knew what you wanted doesn’t mean you knew what he wanted.
This is why couples need to talk before having kids.
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I think the fact that he even said that to you if that’s true let you know that you’re not in the proper relationship
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How old is your youngest? Not making excuses but sometimes I know it can be overwhelming when they are young and a handful. Plus sometimes men get all jealous and shit when it comes to kids…meaning they are always the priority and the husband will sometimes get put on the back burner. Maybe talking more, discussing the future and family planning is needed. Him just saying to go somewhere else is not cool, but it also sounds like an underlining issue that you may or may not see. I would suggest talking…not yelling or blaming or saying things like “you know I want ____”. It takes two because in the end, when all kids are gone, it’s still two. 
My husband wanted 8 kids and after the first one I told him.we could have one more later but no more after that from me. We’re now having twins so it’s one more than I wanted but that’s fine. I’m done though. Getting tubes tied and no more for me. If we separate and he has more kids later in life, good for him. But I’m done and nothing will change my mind.
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My husband said only one but after a 12 year wait he gave in and gave me another. We have discussed things and even though he only wanted one, in 3-5 years, we wanna try for another. It takes time.
“It’s not fair he can just decide my life” but isn’t that what you’re doing with his? 
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I’m on the same situation. My husband has a difficult 13 year old daughter from a previous marriage and we have a 3 year old together. I also lost a baby before we had our daughter. We always agreed we would have 3 kids, including his daughter. After my miscarriage and after complications with my delivery and the difficulties with his oldest daughter… he decided he didn’t want anymore. He had a vasectomy knowing I want more. I struggle with it but I can’t force him to have more. His daughter is very difficult so maybe he’s right. I also didn’t handle my miscarriage well so the scare of another loss does hold me back. I desperately want one more but I’m happy with my husband, I’m not willing to breakup my family for it. You have to decide how much you’re willing to give up. Is it worth breaking up your family?
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He didn’t make your choice, he made his!
Honestly I’d rather my husband KNOW his cut offs then to pop out more kids with a man who may turn violent, resentful and possible leave ya high and dry with that big family.
You can still have your big family it just may not be with him 
people grow and chance… and sadly with that growth they just out grow people as well… maybe he isn’t your happily ever after after all.
I would say he’s made his feelings clear and now you have a choice to make.
Yes. Deal with it. He has a right not to want more kids. Just as you have a right to want them. Him not wanting any doesn’t deny you having them. Just like he said…find a willing participant to do it
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You have two, it’s unnecessary to have more, but, if that’s a deal breaker for you? Sounds like he compromised, now it’s your turn. Count your blessings!
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So are you providing for those two can you take care of another while maintaining the previous twos lifestyle? He is programmed to be the provider you of course the nurturing one. I understand you wanting more but sometimes it just isn’t doable in a productive way. Give it some time maybe with some breathing room his mind will change…however, yours might as well. Good luck dear! I wish you all the happiness! 
Honestly when we came home with our first and only rn we both were like this is it were not doing this all over again now that she’s 2.5 I don’t want one right NOW but probably as soon as she starts school and make a basic meal (lol) THEN I’ll want one more. But I’m done after that and honestly don’t know if my SO is completely on board for another. So I’d be happy with 2 but he is your SO you can ask him if there is no compromising on a third baby and there’s your answer. I wouldn’t bring it up again if the answer is another no. But maybe he’s scared for financial reasons or stress??
So get a lawyer. Get child support payments set up for the 2 you have and go somewhere else
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I agree with the Kerry White☝️
You say he knee you wanted a big family but had you told him how many kids that entailed for you? I know more than a few people who would consider what you have a big family maybe he feels that way as well. Kids are expensive maybe he doesn’t think you’re ready financially for another one, maybe he doesn’t think you have enough room for another one. He’s in no way decided your life at all by saying no and you shouldn’t try to decide his just because you don’t like his answer. Either accept it and move on or go find someone else
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He absolutely can say what happens with his body lol. His body his choice
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Bruh if he doesn’t want anymore kids then he doesn’t want more kids. So he has made his choice, you need to make your own. Either be with dude as is or don’t.
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My husband and I agreed on two kids. No matter what, that would be our max. I had our second child and instantly changed my mind. I asked him if he wanted another and he said no. I had horrible postpartum and through counseling I found out that I wanted another child. I decided that I would have another with or without him. I wasn’t ready to stop having babies. I feel I was made to be a mom of many babies, and that’s ok! When I told him that he said ok! He didn’t realize I was that serious about it. We are getting ready to try for our third and we are both super excited!!! Sit down and have a talk. He might not realize how serious you are about it!
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Was this discussed before any kids were made? Just because he knew that’s what you wanted, did he ever agree to it? Financially, is another child an option? Maybe weigh the pros and cons as a team so that you understand his NO and he understands your YES and you two can decide together the best choice for your family as a whole. Best of luck!
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I told my husband the same thing after my third. I was dead set on getting my tubes tied. But I’m slowly considering another one in a few years. Give it time. He’ll miss having a little one run around after your boys grow up a bit
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Yeah 1 and done here no bartering will happen from my side, you should respect your husbands wishes you do have 2 afterall.
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Get a puppy?
Look, I get wanting another child but you have two beautiful sons and if another one is going to put a strain on the marriage then why bother risking that?
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That’s what my hubby said. I brought it up for 3 years and he finally said yes.
He’s done having kids. You have to decide if you’re willing to leave this relationship to have more kids. This doesn’t guarantee that the next man in your life will want more or even stays with you.
Do you value the life you have now? Are you happy? Are you provided your two kids with a full, well rounded life? Are you providing your two kids with a healthy relationship and happy mother and father?
Will you be able to handle a third child who could be special needs?
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From a practical point of view - When you have more than two children - everything becomes harder - ( trust me ) holidays often accommodate four people - a room for five becomes harder to find and much more expensive
Taking children on rides - easier if you have one each - otherwise it becomes a nightmare - can’t leave a child to wait whilst the rest of you go on it !!! So you end up being a x3 and a x2 group !!! X3 people waiting whilst two go on the rides etc - you end up with grumpy children fed up of waiting !!
Many places the “ family ticket “ is two adults two children “
It’s also a tight squeeze having x3 car seats / booster seats in the back of your car
But I understand you wanting more - we have x5 - our youngest put us off having anymore - had he been first he would have been an only child 
You wanting to have more children is valid and him not wanting more is valid too. Unfortunately there isn’t a compromise when it comes to another child. Even though he said no that doesn’t mean forever. He may change his mind later on. Are you willing to separate because you wanted more children and he doesn’t? I think that would be selfish and unfair to him and the children you already have. Talk to him about it and let him know how important it is and ask him to revisit the idea in a year or so.
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He looking for further collage think about it cost
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This is a pretty selfish post. If he doesn’t want more then he doesn’t want more. Be grateful you were able to have 2 children when so many people can’t even be blessed with one.
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Why not look into fostering a child possibly fostering to adopt, a bigger family and blessing a child with a family!
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You are both right. You are both entitled to your feelings. But being in a relationship means that you have someone other than yourself that you love and care for. You both need to consider your partners feelings and attempt to compromise. Why do you feel the way you do. Why does he feel the way he does. Come to an agreement that you both can live with. Otherwise your partner feels less important to. Years from now what do you want to see when you look back on your life. Do you want a loving stable family for your kids. Do you want your kids to feel loved and safe seeing mom and dad loving each other
The planet is over populated and resources are starting to get scarce.
Be happy with the two you have.
Had I known then what I know now there is a very good chance I’d not have had children.
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If you are meant to have more you will.
Its his choice too…What if YOU didn’t want more but he did? Would it be different then?
Seems you have a choice to make
I can understand him not wanting more and putting his foot down but telling you that you can go else where and have other kids is a huge red flag. Wtf? Who says that to someone their with? Lol
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You think it’s not fair that he doesn’t want anymore kids? What about his opinion? His thoughts matter. You can’t force him and you’re not the only one who has to make this decision. He made it clear he doesn’t want anymore kids- if that’s a deal breaker than hit the road
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My husband and I disagreed with how many but he never would have put it that way. Sounds like he’s trying to get you worked up and wants out. There are ways to deal with this without saying my way or the highway
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If he doesnt want anymore ,you can’t make him have another lol . Probably feels overwhelmed with the two y’all already have lol
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My husband didn’t want more… I was a little persuasive 
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Ok but you cant decide his life like you are thinking hes deciding yours when hes not and if he doesnt want anymore then thats his choice! Hes not making you stop having kids and told you if you want more then you can with someone else 🤷 yes it sucks but those kids dont just affect you, it does him to and he doesn’t want more kids. You need to also take how he feels and what he wants into consideration and not just what you feel and what you want. Sounds like you wanna talk to talk him into it and you cant compromise over having kids. Its either we are or we arent…
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That was one of the issues I had with my ex I wanted 4 but I was okay with the idea of 2 because he wanted it and after we had our daughter he was 1 and done and I couldn’t come to terms with that and all the other problems so I left. You have to decide if you’d be okay with staying after what he said
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He’s not deciding your life he is deciding his.
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Well you are married. And if the hubby says he doesnt want more. You shouldnt force it. Wanting and affording is two different things. I wanted a big family but didnt mean it was fair to have five kids if we couldnt afford the life they deserved. So i compromised and got fixed myself.
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He’s being realistic. Kids are expensive! He is allowed to have his own opinions and feelings, not that yours are less valuable. I have 3 girls, 2 mine, 1 bonus. I would have loved nothing more than to try one more time for a boy but it would put our family in a financial strap. Talk to him and ask what his reasons are but don’t do it with attitude.
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If my partner ever replied for me to look elsewhere for anything I’d be out of that relationship in a flash.
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Well to be fair, you’re trying to decide his life too.
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IUD but honestly I’d say screw him
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