I think it’s kinda shitty how he worded it but imagine if the tables were turned and you didnt want anymore kids and he did?
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Are you deaf, he said no more. Listen up
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Is he the one financially responsible for the children? Maybe he feels like you guys can’t afford any more children.
Don’t go having babies if you can’t afford them🤷♀️
If that’s not the case then maybe he just wants 2.
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And his opinion doesn’t count does it?
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He could do worse… Lie… Have more and Leave you, because it wasn’t what he wanted… We say we want honesty, straight up no matter what it is but we get it and throw a bitch fit… Why is a mans no less important than a womans 
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Same as saying who are you to decide for him. Hr probably sees just how much time effort and money go inyo kids and doesnt want to bite off more than he can chew. Enjoy the 3 kids and maybe talk about another kid down road.
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Thats definitely something that should have been decided completely BEFORE having any. He obviously didn’t want a big family but you do. Now you’re both upset. And finances usually play the biggest part in the decision so you both need to sit down and talk about everything together and make a decision from there.
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you have two kids!! seriously… whats the problem… he doesn’t what anymore… I have one and I don’t want anymore. However, my body couldn’t handle another pregnancy…
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How does one compromise kids ? You can’t have a half of kid ! He’s not deciding your life but rather making it clear. He doesn’t want any more and that’s his right.
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You can’t force your husband to have more children, it is just as much his choice as yours. And if he doesn’t want them, then that’s that. And I don’t think it is fair of you to try and change his mind if he is obviously set in his decision. Children are difficult and expensive. Be grateful for the two boys you have, or if it is so important to you to have more children, you may have to consider ending the relationship and having children with someone else or on your own.
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Did you not decide on the # of kids BEFORE you had them? I agree it’s a red flag though that he said find someone else. My ex said that to me about him not meeting my needs so guess what? I FOUND SOMEONE ELSE and couldnt be happier! Oh and I was left by that ex after 4 1/2 years together while I was 5 month pregnant. Like I said RED FLAG
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So you’re saying he can’t control your life but you can control his? If he doesn’t want to have more kids that’s his choice, not yours.
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This situation is a bit messed up. He shouldn’t decide yours but you shouldn’t decide his either.
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you cant force someone to have another child with you. They are either on board or they are not. I would just be happy with the 2 you have and be thankful cause not everyone has that ability.
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No means no honey. It may not be fair to you but it’s not fair to him that you’re demanding another
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Worlds overpopulated stop with 2. May not be the advice you want but you asked.
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If you keep pushing him for a another baby he gunna leave you
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You both have to compromise. 2 out of 3 is a good deal
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He has every right to say that he doesnt want anymore. And you have every right to leave and get pregnant by another man.
And what kind of compromise is that?!.. it’s a whole damn child! You would get your way, get pregnant, have the baby and what would he get for “compromising”?! A third child to feed that’s what. I’m with him on this one. You sound selfish.
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He compromised. You have 2. My husband wanted 5 kids, I wanted 1, I compromised with 2. He’s saying “yeah no more. These kids are making me get gray hair and they’re only 5 and 1”. So here we are. No more kids.
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I would sit down and have a conversation, but just like you want MORE, he’s allowed not to.
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You’re saying its crappy for him to make his decision but at the same time … you made your decision as well.
You want different things. It happens. Give it time and see where life takes you.
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He hasn’t decided your life. He has told you that if you want more to go elsewhere. You have choices. 2 kids+ your current partner. Or more kids and a new partner. If I was him I would get a vasectomy yesterday. You will likely " accidently" get pregnant again. Which will be wrong.
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He definitely should have worded it differently but it’s a mutual decision so unfortunately if he doesn’t want anymore kids and you don’t want to “look elsewhere”, then it looks like you’re stopping at 2 kids. I have a friend that ended up getting divorced because they originally talked about having kids, then she decided after they were married that she didnt want any and he really did so they got divorced. I guess it’s all dependent on how important it really is to you to have more kids.
Why have more 2 cost raise and be happy
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Advice? No is no. You can’t force him. That simple.
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if he dont want anymore then he should go and get fixed
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Wow u sound selfish don’t his feelings matter does he take care of them financially do u stay home do u work to maybe he don’t want anymore he’s content with what he has
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What happened before we had social media to blab all our personal info to strangers.
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He doesn’t want anymore you can’t force him to.
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Unfortunately, there is no compromise in this situation… one of you cannot get your way and unless you leave him and get another guy, you can’t make a baby without his help… reverse the roles and imagine he wanted another baby and you didn’t… is your reaction the reaction you would expect from him?
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Everyone’s saying you should have decided on this before having kids as if people aren’t allowed to change their minds ever in their life 
maybe they both wanted a big family and then after seeing how hard two were, he decided he would rather focus on them than spreading himself too thin and being sub par for more children
This is not a snap decision, talk it over a few times and see where you both stand
Not sure what advice you want 
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He should have expressed his feelings abit better but atleast he is being honest and I totally relate to him I am so dead set I’m birthing no more babies that I went and got my tubes tied…
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His feelings matter as much as yours do… him not wanting more and you saying you do is something that you both have to find middle ground on. It cant be that he doesnt and you do so screw what he says.
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that’s tough especially if you want a big family. Is this something that will make or break you? Will you feel vindictive towards him? hes stated no more and that’s his personal choice. If more kids is whatcha want in the long run than you need to decide yoursel.
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He knew you wanted a big family. If he only wanted two, he should have said that in the beginning. My ex did the same thing. Honestly, If I had it to do over, he would have been an ex from the time he said no more kids. That want never went away. That hurt never went away. I felt betrayed. I love the girls I have, but he knew in the beginning I wanted more. This would be the end of the relationship for me. Kids are expensive, but you find a way if you really want them.
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Well it’s your body so you don’t have to protect yourself… He doesn’t want anymore he needs to protect himself
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I’m so grateful for all of you guys that are sticking up for that poor man
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Im probably going to be the odd ball but if u truly want more kids and he doesn’t then u need to leave. I have always been straight up with any ine i was dating that i wanted kids and if they didn’t that was a deal breaker and I would leave
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If you all had talked and decided before you wanted a big family I can see why your upset and the way he said it. Just sit down and talk. Maybe there is a reason he don’t want more and just talk and understand each other.
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How would you like it if you were done but he wanted more and forced you to have another?
He has a choice he made it.
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Have you talked about adoption? Maybe he would be more understanding if you were giving a child a home
Treat him to a night of Tequila 
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Things like this should be discussed and agreed upon before marriage
I think in the same way that I would want to not have kids if I decided I don’t want to get pregnant, it’s my body, my life, he gets to say he doesn’t want to father any more kids or have anymore in his life. And yep you get to divorce and go fine someone else if your set on more. It’s a reasonable stance. You can choose to not have sex anymore or he can choose to not have sex anymore, or how ever the not getting pregnant happens but trapping him by trickery would be as bad and abusive as if he tricked you into getting pregnant
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I think you guys need to sit and have discussion about the others feelings about this situation and at least come to a real deep understanding of each others reasoning before this gets to a ultimatum situation. At least then you both taken consideration of each other’s feelings before making your absolute decision. Communication is always important!
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Maybe in the beginning he did want a big family. After having two maybe he realised this is enough for him.
If the tables were turned and you wanted no more but he did, how would you feel?
It’s not just about you, it’s his life too.
If the #MeToo movement has taught us anything, it’s to respect another person’s freedom of choice.
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Just wait a little and come back to the conversation later he may be feeling overwhelmed by the new pressure of supporting a family “if” he is mostly counted on for financial support etc it’s not a deal breaker but if you decide you want to chase your dreams he has given you permission to so “but” keep in mind the effect it will have on you two children you already have
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Be happy you have 2 healthy, beautiful children? It’s not like you guys just got married and he refused any kids. He gave you 2. He’s obviously done.
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Currently 21 weeks pregnant with my first and I told my husband I’m never doing this again. He seems convinced that I’ll want another in a few years as he wants our baby to have a sibling. Before we got married I told him if we want a second child we can always adopt but he wants the baby to have our DNA. We’re both stubborn and I refuse to put my body thru this again so tough loss to him, he knew what I wanted for the start
Wow. How much does your partner care about you. He says you can leave, don’t sound like his love is that strong or deep. I would bail out before anymore time passes
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I have 2 girls one was planned the other was a surprise (wouldn’t change it for the world). We really want a boy so in 5 years we decided to try again. My sister was a different story she had 1 child and her boyfriend said no to getting married and no to having more kids (he forced her to get a job and both had good paying jobs. He also forced her into going to the gym (he kept calling her fat) but she broke up with him many times because he was toxic until they both realized neither was happy. My advice is Try talking to him find out why he doesn’t want more kids if it’s the money then try to find a solution if you really want another child that badly.
If you both can’t come to a compromise then leave. I’m sorry but I’m not sugar coating this. If you want your family size to be bigger and want more children then you have that right. But he also has the right to refuse having more children. So at that point, leave. Your children would rather see you happy than upset all of the time because you chose to stay cause “you’ve already had kids with him”
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This is a conversation to be had with him. People on Facebook can give you advice on dealing with the decisions but the conversation is with him.
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I was in your husband’s position. I did not want anymore kids d. My husband did, I told him he could go have kids with someone else but he refused and said he wanted to be with me and hopefully is change my mind. It put a horrible strain on our marriage, he made me feel trapped and pressured and he resented me for not giving him more kids. Now we are separated and getting divorced. Either be happy with what you’ve got or move on but don’t pressure him!!!
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It’s the way he is saying it that’s an issue .
Have an open and honest discussion and if it’s still a stone wall discussion… make your own decision in the situation
I was separated for a long time before my husband and I started reconnecting. I told him I was in talks with a donor ( mainly because I didn’t want him to be shocked . Especially since we were / are still married )
Because I wanted another child and I didn’t feel like waiting until someone thought they were ready for another .
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So just because is a want for you it May not be a want for him , not only your wants matter , sit down and talk 
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Have y’all spoke about adoption being an option?
After this one i want to wait 6to 10 years to even think about trying again and my fiance is okay with a third IF were better off than we are now. We have a 14 month old- hell be 17 months old when his little sister is born. But if i wamted to try again off the bat hed refuse to try again because its too much for him. Communication is KEY in relationships
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He told you his feelings and he did it firmly and with no wiggle room. He made up his mind and gave you your choices. Now you just have to decide what is more important to you.
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Well its his life too??? You can’t just demand another baby. Maybe ask if you can adopt or have one in a few years. Maybe he doesn’t want more right now. He could change his mind.
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That’s something you guys should have talked about before having kids 
I’d dump him take the two I’ve got and o elsewhere
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Kids are expensive. Very much so. Are you well off? Financially stable? Do you both work or just one? Maybe he is considering that aspect of his choice. If he’s working 40-80 hrs a week just to make ends meet with massive debt (credit cards, mortgage, car payments, loans, student loans all add up very quick and usually hefty figures) maybe he would rather catch up so he can enjoy the kids he already has. Also, if both or even one works alot maybe he wants what little time you have together. Just a thought.
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Enjoy the two beautiful children you have- why give up their father and family for a baby you’ve never even met. Back off your husband and enjoy your blessings. My two cents…
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It’s his life too hunny get with it or like he said leave it’s that easy my husband and I have 2 kids and we are done with our family they are expensive especially when they are sick you cant just demand stuff and be expected it to be handed to you.
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Hang on, so you’re saying he “can’t decide” your life because he doesn’t want anymore kids BUT you can decide his by wanting to keep having more kids by him even though he’s done???
Did you read your own post before posting?
Literally the dumbest statement I have ever read.
What is there to compromise really?? He doesn’t want anymore kids and you want more, how can you compromise that?
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If he knows without a doubt that he doesn’t want more kids, then the best thing he can do is say it straight up.
The way he said it makes him sound like a douche. But I am also guessing that this is something that has already been discussed several times, over a certain period of time. If he has made his feelings clear already, and you keep bringing it up, I can understand why he snapped and made a bitchy comment.(not saying he wasn’t wrong for talking to you like that, obviously he was out of line and I hope he apologized) I’m just saying, we can all get aggravated when we have made our stance on any given issue clear, and people just keep bringing it back up.
You have two children with the person you love. Is your desire for more kids important enough for you to split up the family you already have?
I feel the same way my partner told me he doesn’t want anymore and I have a 3 year old and I want another one so she’s not alone and he’s always No he won’t even listen
Men have a right to choose too. You have two already I feel that he’s compromising enough. Kids are a lot of work and cause a lot of stress for both parents. It’s not fair to him to be viewed as the bad guy just because he doesn’t want anymore kids.
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I think two is plenty… trust me! I have four and it’s not cherries and rainbows everyday…! After two you are outnumbered so beware!! He is entitled to his wants as well so I think you should just live your life with the two you have and love your already made family! I don’t think that wanting another baby and him not wanting more should be grounds for break up… I think that would be petty
Did you ask him why? Or get all mad? Dont know how your finances are but that could be an issue. A good man would think about the entire family as a whole what will be good for everyone. He might be thinking logical about this. I dont think he meant what he said to be with someone else then…think that was heat of moment. Gotta take a breather and discuss it with him only. If it is due to financial strain…are you willing to put more hours at work to help? Just my opinion because I dont know what was exactly said. Either way it’s your life.
It’s not fair to pressure him into more if that’s not what he wants. He isn’t deciding your life. He said if you want more go find someone else to give you more you just need to decide if you’d rather stay with him with just the two kids, or if having more is that important that you would want to leave him.
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Well, if you guys talked and decided on the number of kids to have prior to the wedding, then it’s selfish of him to just up and change his mind on you like this.
He sounds selfish, you should think about what you really want, if he’s chosen himself then you also need to choose yourself too!
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I saw sperm bank. That wasn’t such a bad idea. You should ask him if you went to a sperm bank how that would affect your repationship!
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You ppl are crazy. If roles where reversed you’d be trying to hang this man. Just like she’s not an incubator he’s not a baby making machine. He made up HIS mind, not yours.
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So why is it fair you deciding his life forcing him to have more children he doesn’t want?
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Aren’t you deciding his by not taking no for an answer? No means no.
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I mean, it would piss me off my husband talking to me like that. Butttt, you can’t force him to have more kids. And if having more is something you really want, then maybe it’s time to move on
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He gets a choice and so do you. He doesn’t want more kids and it would be wrong if you demand that from him.
What if it was the other way around and he was demanding that you have more kids that you didn’t want?
He’s deciding his life not yours…
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He gave you permission to go have more…shoot I’d take it:joy:
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I just wanna say every one of you bitches are RUDE AS FUCK. No one on here knows their situation & she was asking for advice, not for yall GROWN ASS women to attack her😂 yall are PITIFULLL
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Yeah. It’s a two way street here. He’s right if he doesn’t want more then go somewhere else to get what you want
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There really is no compromise. If he does not want any more kids and you force another one on him your whole family will suffer. Making him have kids if forcing a life on him he does not want. Be happy with the 2. Don’t split your family up over something like this. Maybe he will change his mind
Im with him. Kids are expensive and we get tired lol. I told my sons dad the same. We are having only 1 together and i told him if he wants more, go elsewhere. Im done
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This is my situation but the other way around. My husband wants a big family and I didn’t even wanted kids. I was straight up with him when I met him because I know that’s a deal breaker and he was ok with it. But accidents happened and I ended up pregnant. My husband was excited and honestly, I was devastated. My whole pregnancy I was upset and was really thinking of giving up my daughter for adoption or her dad but when my daughter was born, I fell in love with her. So now I’m here with my daughter that I adore to death and my husband that keeps presuming me to have another and it gets to a point where I tell him exactly what your husband said to you, “I don’t want anymore, if you want more you can go have them, but not with me.” So consider his feelings and if you still want more go have them but divorce him.
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I am getting fixed after this pregnancy. My SO and I are opposite of ya all. But these are my 5 and 6 babies (yes twins) and his 2 and 3. He wants more and I don’t. I am done with the pregnancy life
Well that wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but you should sit down and talk to him calmly about it. Ask him why he doesn’t want more, see if you’re missing something or there’s a way to compromise. He might not be ready for more, or he’s worried about finances/coping, etc.
It depends on how differently you feel. Kids is NEVER something to compromise on. Either you’ll resent him, or he’ll resent you. There’s not really a way to win. It’s the kind of thing that breaks a lot of relationships. It’s not fair to force him to have kids, it’s not fair for him to force you to stop having kids. Unless you’re fine with not having more, you may just want to move on.
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You can’t make him have kids any more than he can make you have more when your done.
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When my fiance wanted less kids than what I wanted, I explained to him that it could really affect us negatively. I told him about the effects on mothers who want more children but are denied that for their relationship. I told him about fathers who are done and end up with more kids against his will. We talked it over and I told him if we can’t decide, we need to choose whether or not to continue the relationship. Because it wasn’t fair to either of us. He ended up changing his mind and wanting another. And we’re both happy and thriving with a now 4 month old boy. But not everyone changes their minds.
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My husband and I had 1 girl together. She is 8 now. I wanted to have another one when she was younger and he said he only wanted one child, fast forward 8 years later and he agreed to have 1 more, now we have a 4 month old daughter. We agreed on 2 so it was fair to both of us (if that makes since). I would like more but he gave me our two daughters so I’m happy with that. I’m not going to push him into having anymore. We are officially done & are both happy. I would give him time and maybe he will change his mind. If he doesn’t want anymore children it’s not fair for him to have more when he doesn’t want any ( as of right now). You should be happy he gave you two. Did he know you wanted a big family before getting into a serious relationship / married ?. If you decided that after then you can’t blame him for anything if he didn’t know off the back. If you’re not happy and really do want a big family and he honestly is done for good, then you have to chose if you’ll keep your family together or going and finding someone else that wants a big family also but chances of not working out. You have to look at both sides of what you want, the good and the bad. Of you do go and find someone else, they could end up leaving and you’ll be a single mother . If you stay and come to terms you’ll only have 2 children then you know you’re in a safe loving place in life / you’re relationship.
& BEFORE anyone says it, yes I know ANY relationship / marriage can end at any given time for any reason
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Sounds like he will be paying child support in about a year.
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Get pregnant anyway
I think it goes both ways, you’d be deciding his life that way too.
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Having kids is a personal choice. I get that. However I would count my blessings and love the family i got before forcing a broken home situation just to continue having more with someone else
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My advice is, don’t make any rash decisions. Make sure you think through every choice. Is having another child worth splitting up from the father of the other two children? Is he a good man? Does he provide for the children you already have? Also another point to ponder, you have been blessed with two. You could learn to be content with the two, that’s a choice you make within your mind and your heart. Perhaps he’ll change his mind someday, perhaps he won’t. Perhaps conceding and accepting what he has decided he wants, will might make him more willing to concede to you.
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If you need to go to fb for advice if you’re already questioning it then you already have your answer either be happy with the 2 u have and move forward or don’t and leave
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