You need to be careful! She sounds controlling which can lead to emotional abuse or worse!!!
7 Likes
Tell him to fuckoff!!
People who are this consistent with routine and can’t adapt to change are generally very controlling mentally ill people. They’re usually someone who can’t handle when things don’t go their way and start to get frustrated and take things out on everything/everyone around them. Your partner needs therapy. I know this cause I’m going through therapy and learning how to control my bad habits and insecurities. If you want to take your child downstairs then take her downstairs. Isolating that child from everyone is really messed up.
7 Likes
Drop the schedule crap
Your husband is a control freak 
4 Likes
Babies don’t have the same routine from birth until they get older. The routines are always changing to fit the needs of the baby or even toddler. If the baby can’t go downstairs until 10 then the baby is basically up stairs all day since I’m assuming naps are upstairs. Poor baby. Sounds controlling
8 Likes
What 5month old stays in bed till 10 wtf thats crazy. Stand upto her. Thats super cruel tbh kids hardly up.
3 Likes
Fuck her is what I say! 
Its unfair but instead of judgeing and finger pointing i dont agree with it babys set their own routine in my house always worked so far 
but is mom using this as her on own time with her baby? Is it possiable she might have an attachment disorder? Ptsd? Or is she just in bed with no interaction with the baby? Its kinda a tough 1! But any tips how to keep my kids in der rooms till 10 true the holidays 
2 Likes
That is not normal at all. Stand up to her and stand your ground man. That’s your baby too, and you know it ain’t right for her to be that controlling nor treat you or your child that way.
Eat play sleep is the best way to do a schedule. Sounds way too hardcore about it. You can bring your baby wherever you want.
Y’all need to leave. That’s not a healthy relationship.
4 Likes
Are u fcken kidding me, like huh 
Fuck that I’d be telling him go get FUCKED … 
RED FLAG:x:
Controlling behavior
RUN BEFORE IT GETS WORSE! IT ALWAYS GETS WORSE!!
10 Likes
Balancing multiple kids is definitely a challenge but it’s not something that would drastically alter the baby’s schedule. If baby is still being fed and put down at the same time I would argue it’s not messing with the routine. Kids don’t have any kind of object permanence when they’re young so where baby falls asleep isn’t really relevant here
1 Like
Show your partner the door, tell him not let it hit in the butt on the way out. Control is abuse. Your daughters and other children are better off not seeing this behavior.
1 Like
Thats really unfair on the bany to be stuck in one room i would put my foot down and let the baby be in the living room its the babys home as well hav u tried sitting down and telling her how u feel sounds like its just an easy life for her if the baby is out the way is it possible shes depressed maybe has she bonded with the baby i feel u should do wat u think is riggt let her have a hissy fit put ur foot down shes in the wrong here she sounds abit like a control freak best of luck if things do get to difficult u could try speaking to health visitor
1 Like
Post partum depression? Maybe she needs help?
2 Likes
Have a good think about your partner…your babies life is far more important than the whims of your partner.Seems to me he is far too controlling.
2 Likes
Wow you definitely need to challenge this. Never heard anything like it! Possible post partum depression maybe? As it sound very obsessive. Routines should be baby led not regimented by one parent when you’re a team xx
5 Likes
Are you an adult? Is this your child? Is this your home too? No one is about to tell me what I’m “allowed” to with my own damn child in my own damn home. That’s it. You can kick off right out the door if you don’t like it.
Ummm… thats not normal and not good for your other kids. You bend your schedule to your kids. Yes obviously you get them into a routine at a young age but damn that’s too much! And very controlling
Context please, why cant you go before 10am downstairs?
I can see 7am, I can see maybe even 8am, but 10am? Especially with children? Dude. I would tell your significant other to bite my ass because guess what, kids are kids, and they get up early as fuck and that’s the way it is. They shouldn’t have to be grounded to their rooms for 3-4 hours just because your wife doesnt want you guys around. In fact, I’d tell her to go fuck herself.
Out! Don’t trick yourself in thinking this a love. It’s bully and control. Kick out or Run!
5 Likes
No way…that routine is unrealistic. Just like the rest of us, sometimes they might not need to sleep that whole time. What happens in a few weeks when baby starts to be more awake? Are you going to need to fight for baby to be able to come downstairs early? In my opinion, I would not put up with that expectation by the partner.
7 Likes
Why would she want her to be in a routine where she comes downstairs at 10am? That’s going to have to change when your little one goes to school/nursery so what’s the point. It’s really cruel, sounds like it’s because she wants to stay in bed that bit longer. I would just say you’re not asking if you can take the baby down, you’re telling her you’re taking the baby down. No discussion xx
2 Likes
Oh my god!! What a b!
Either bring the two older kids upstairs for interaction OR bring the baby down and deal with the attitude/hateful talk.
Is your partner doing any of these early every 3-hr feedings?
Sounds like she or he may be working downstairs at the time. Is baby fussy? What’s the deal man!?
I say do it, and deal with it.
What the he’ll is happening downstairs that’s so special to keep said baby out of??
Ridiculous
2 Likes
Oh 
. That’s not normal or except able you need to say something
1 Like
I wouldn’t listen, take ur baby down.
3 Likes
What the heck kind of routine for a baby involves not being able to come down before 10 am? Babies grow fast, and as they grow their sleep needs and therefore routines change. Not going downstairs to be with the family when awake will stunt their social skills anyways. Let baby spend time with siblings and let baby lead the nap schedule, because as stated, their growth dictates their sleep needs.
8 Likes
Routines are great to an extent. Problem is if you stick to them too rigidly then when you do go to do something out of routine the little one may panic. Personally if she isn’t going back to sleep after that 6/7am feed I would bring her downstairs to socialise with the rest of the family. I know your partner wants to feel in control as the reflux is out of her control and that could be the issue maybe you could both have a chat with the midwife about it so that you can move forward without it ending in a huge fight.
1 Like
WTF?
Your partner sounds like a controlling asshole , it is a form of abuse.
You need to either set her straight now or leave for the sake of you and your children.
Is this a thing? No one told me… mine have been up and eaten the entire fridge and destroyed my house by 10am… this is where I’ve been going wrong then 
In all seriousness this is weird AF! You need to take control of this madness. If you as the parent too can’t stand up for not just your child but yourself then who will?
7 Likes
A schedule and routine are normal healthy. This is not that.
This is control and manipulation.
A child will grow and develop and as such schedules and routines change and move with it. This is toxic. You need to assert yourself and to be in charge of yourself. You don’t need permission to do that.
7 Likes
Advise… know that your partner has severe issues!
8 Likes
Why are you letting someone else dictate to you like that?
9 Likes
That’s really weird. I would not go along with it at all. Both my kids got up with their first morning feeding . I like having everyone together. Sounds like you need to stand up to her. She is not being reasonable
7 Likes
My newborn eats when she wakes up for a bottle but we go downstairs anytime between 7 and 10 that’s usually when my 3 year old wakes up. I then lay baby down and get my 3 year old breakfast going. If my newborn is awake and ready to eat then she eats too. You do not tell someone when, where and how they can leave a room.
3 Likes
that’s super unrealistic. & sounds very controlling. You are the parent too, it isn’t just up to the partner to make decisions. I wouldn’t put up with that. at all.
4 Likes
Why are you listening to her? I’d tell her to eff off. That’s ridiculous.
9 Likes
this is a red flag! how long have you been with this person? It’s sound song abusive not gonna lie. it’s not normal at all, I am honestly worried for you
4 Likes
Umm hell no. Kick her ass to the crib. Controlling much. Get out now it gets worse.
By 10 am, on most days, I’ve already stopped at least three physical assaults, put out 47,000 fires, and have made at least 4000 snacks…
16 Likes
Routine is good but I wouldn’t listen I can go downstairs if that baby wakes up wants to play with the other kids you can’t keep a baby upstairs all the time not good for her or him. If he is controlling that’s not good I can get out of the relationship
1 Like
Sounds like a boss, not a partner. This is weird and she has issues
9 Likes
Sounds like mom wants that time as a break
Sounds like the partner likes to sleep in until 10
2 Likes
Nooooo no no no no. Yall got this all tf wrong.
4 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner has strict schedules for our baby and will not let me bring her downstairs before 10 am: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
1 Like
In my opinion: ‘Routine’ isn’t just a feed/sleep routine. Routine is a family eating together where families typically eat. Does your partner really want your baby associating meal times with the bedroom?? By the time my boys were 5 months they ate where we ate. The dinner table or floor picnics or kitchen breakfast bar for example. Always on the boob, but part of the family. The baby had breakfast, lunch & dinner with the family & top up feeds in between. That was a very appropriate routine. Can the same be said for yours?
6 Likes
You and the other children stay upstairs with the baby until the baby can come downstairs. Let her be lonely.
7 Likes
Some of you women are so incredibly cruel!! Clearly you’ve never seen postpartum depression or experienced it. Because if you had, you would have some compassion. This is clearly a first time mom and she now has no control over her life. This is probably the one piece that she can control. She needs some professional help and an understanding partner that will support her.
Define “let you”…aint NOBODY going to “let me” with MY child. Sound off all day, you look crazy and Im enjoying my child.
27 Likes
Thats ridiculous and it will come back to bite your partner in the ass - at that age the baby should be in the routine of day time/night time. 7am would be a normal time to be getting up and getting dressed for day time.
7 Likes
I feel like we are missing part of the story.is the baby going back to bed? Do the other kids get baby wound up and she pukes? Theres something missing. Theres a reason mom wants to stay upstairs. Does argument start when they come down? Bc I’m sorry but the other kids wanting to play with the baby is not a reason for the baby to be downstairs.
5 Likes
Yeah no I’d be like get over it and take the baby downstairs. But I am divorced haha.
10 Likes
That’s not a routine it’s regimentation. Take the baby downstairs and defy the bad mood. Kids come first.
32 Likes
Yeah, that would be a negative for me. Make his ass go upstairs. You should be able to take your baby anywhere in the house at any given time.
7 Likes
The baby is 5 months old with bad reflux . Mom is looking out for baby. This schedule us not forever.
1 Like
That is way too late to be keeping the baby upstairs… that is such a weird thought for her to have
3 Likes
Kinda sounds like she is trying to minimize your other kids being around her precious baby
7 Likes
The location for the feeding is not what’s important the actual feeding is…if she is going through something emotionally she needs to go seek help thats not ok
2 Likes
Sorry but none of this makes sense, something is missing. Is the momma we’re trying to give advice to a man or a woman? Who stays in bed until 10am?
2 Likes
I feel like there is more to n maybe the older children told ur woman they don’t get enough time with u n may e doi g it for that purpose or maybe its a mental ik with my all 3 of mine I had bad pregnancy problems n even after born 2 out of 3 had problems after birth so baby had to be on a different routine then the others
“It has to be upstairs”
WTH!!! You’re not allowed to take her downstairs!?!? If you mention it, she kicks off and is in a foul mood with you all day!! Pffftttt
Why are you allowing this? 
You are being manipulated this person wants to control you…
Obviously you know it’s WRONG what your partner is doing to the entire family, & you already know what to do, now be strong & have the courage to follow through with it.
Handle it.
6 Likes
What the what? This is crazy and sounds like control issues! The baby needs to come down to eat when the baby needs to come down to eat and the adult needs to stop acting like a child and throwing a fit when their schedule is not adhered to maybe your partner needs to go to counseling about their control issues and stop punishing you for taking care of the baby…
31 Likes
You need to wait untill she goes out and change the locks and ring the domestic help line ,this is abuse and it will only get worse 
14 Likes
She needs to speak to a doctor as this control could be a sign of a mental health issue. I would be mindful of how you approach this with her though. Good luck x
4 Likes
Ur partner is controlling not just u, but ur children but now a baby, why is ur partner isolating a baby from they siblings, stand ur ground, take the fowl mood and after a week if it continues give ur partner a choice 1) ur a family unit u are all in it together or 2) tell them to isolate themself so u guys can all be a family without ur partner,
If u allow this behaviour to continue it WILL get worse,
families work together not throu dictatorship xx have inner strength and chose positivity in ur children not the negativity of ur partner!!!
U can do it xoxox best of luck x
1 Like
Both you and the baby are being abused. I recommend you get into some therapy to learn how to deal with this. It’s up to you to put a stop to it.
As some one who had quite a traumatic time with pregnancy/birth/early at home… I can kind of understand. I couldn’t feed my baby, he had tongue tie amongst other things that happened, and I how it affected me mentally was not good. I wouldn’t let anyone else feed baby for a long time, including my older step children I’m sad to say… I now know I actually probably needed help, for my mental state.
Perhaps this mum might need some help if she’s over compensating with the routines/needing to feel in control? Sounds like its been a rough time.
I also felt like I didn’t know what I was doing and had a hard time (mentally) because my husband already had kids and had done it before. I felt less than and like I was wrong a lot… and hubby here, has already had some before her. It’s not always helpful…
You know, just saying, maybe she needs support and help.
3 Likes
Um, routine is one thing, being a crazy control freak is another. She needs psychological help, it’s your kid too so tell her to get over it or go elsewhere. The baby doesn’t need to be kept away from the rest of the family if it’s awake, there’s no sense in that AND babies change routines as they get older because their needs change. She sounds like she’s on the right track to end up being a mommy dearest type of abusive, put a stop to it now.
10 Likes
Get rid of that “partner” and enjoy your family! This isn’t acceptable!
10 am to be up and around the other kids and family is a bit extreme…I’m working on kid #4 and we
Have great schedules and never used a 10am rule that’s just silly 
Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. What does bringing the baby downstairs have to do with anything!?!
16 Likes
Lock your partner upstairs. NO TV, NO PHONE…NOTHING. Take your baby downstairs and have fun with all of your children! 
1 Like
That sounds odd and abusive? Questionable. You better stay in their presence to see what the heck is going on?
I have a thousand more questions now.
6 Likes
Could be PPA. I had it badly.
1 Like
This is absolutely ridiculous tell her to sod off
Defy him if he can’t handle it get him to go upstairs til 10.00 and look after him /her
She must be a first time mom. Take her downstairs it’s not going to ruin anything. She’s about to go through that 6 month change and flip her whole schedule anyways sleep regression always happens around 6 months. So once your partner thinks she has baby on a schedule jokes on her. Tell her to get up and feed the baby downstairs sounds like staying upstairs is for her own comfort.
Where is she during this
Okay so here is my response. Tell your significant other to kiss your ass you’ll do as you want cuz you are an adult and not a child ooooorrrr hand your partner the baby and tell your partner it is now their job to do ALL of the feedings and they keep that schedule that they wanted. It wont last long cuz your partner wont like not getting all their sleep and they wont like having to stop what they was doing just to feed the baby and keep the schedule they created.
1 Like
No way that baby needs to be bonding with you and the family. My partner would get a firm foot up the backside straight out that door. Shocking
You need to address this issue asap…it will only get worse if you’re allowing such control at this early stage. Babies need social interaction from birth with the family unit, in fact the baby should be the number one priority especially as she has feeding problems. Partner has issues which clearly need attention now…could they just be jealous of the attention and time the baby needs or have they always wanted control? Only you know the answer to that …
1 Like
Well if it’s your kid too, then you can take her downstairs. I understand routine but it doesn’t have to be that strict. A baby will eat anywhere.
That’s bad for the the baby. I think this is the dad speaking. --.
Baby needs daily sunlight specially first weeks. And a routine.
You must not work the both you. Your causing yourself a future problem with a child that will have no routine.
Your parents. Act like grown parents not childish ones.
2 Likes
Bring your child down with you when you are ready
“Will not let you” there’s the problem.
1 Like
Are you nuts??? Take your child downstairs when you want !!!
1 Like
What the fuck 
this is control on another level. Nah man 
1 Like
Control freak detected.
2 Likes
Your partner is a idiot. Run
Hes an idiot and that’s mean I wouldn’t listen
They have parent alenation page
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner has strict schedules for our baby and will not let me bring her downstairs before 10 am: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
I don’t normally comment on stuff like this cz I’m not sure the answers ever get back to the original poster… however on the off chance it will … Have u thought she might be doing it just to get away?? It’s strange behaviour so there has to be a reason other then setting a routine… which is a great idea but it sounds very military. Usually becoming obsessed with wanting things a certain way can be a sign of ill mental health. Maybe she just wants a few hours to herself. Someone who is struggling especially post natal will absolutely not want to admit they want to escape from this beautiful baby they waited so long to have. I don’t know the situation at home but let her make time for her and you. Have a date night at home nice meal etc. Do a night feed if u don’t already. Send her for a bath and you do the bed time again if u don’t already. If there’s concern about her mental health you as a parent can also speak to your health visitor even if it’s just for advice. Encourage her to talk about how she feels and what she needs…getting angry with someone before u know what’s going on in her mind will only make her shut down more. Xx
8 Likes
Not being funny but that’s your baby as well bring her downstairs and she will have to get over it!
I’d laugh in her face and tell her to do one and take my baby downstairs when i want too 
let her be in a mood 
7 Likes
Let her be in a mood!! Take that baby down stairs to feed and play and see the day light. What a divvy she sounds.
1 Like