My partner is doing drugs again and Idon't know what to do: Advice?

I can’t tell you what’s best for you but I can tell you that nothing will make an addict stop, the only way they will change is when they decide they want to. Do some soul searching and figure out what is best for you and then do that. Good luck :green_heart:

Don’t get rid of your Baby because of his mistakes. Get child support from him and let him be an addict.

Your baby will always come first, it will be hard and it will hurt, but he needs a wake up call and maybe you leaving him will be it. I would try to gather some proof to keep the baby away from him until he becomes clean and gets it together. He has to wake up on his own, you need to live your life with your baby. There are so many programs to help single mothers, if that something that you are worried about. I hope he changes and I hope he realizes what he’s losing, but you can’t wait for those things to happen. Good luck and you will be fine.

Why wouldn’t you keep your baby? Give that pos the boot. This shouldn’t even be a question.

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Keep the baby, they will be the best thing to happen to you and you won’t regret it. You’ll love watching the little human grow bigger and smarter every day.

I don’t think it’s fair to get rid of your baby because of his actions.

I didn’t have the coke issue but mine would go to the bar all night and buy jeep parts over baby stuff but then I had my son and my hubby grew up and became an incredible dad and partner. I think sometimes they have to get the bs out of their system and settle down but only you know if that is how this will go with your guy.

Do what’s best for you

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It’s possible he’s just not sure how to cope with the change and that might be why he used again. His routine is threatened and change is hard for recovering addicts.
It doesn’t make it okay. But maybe you should try talking to him about why he decided to use again. What triggered it?

Getting rid of your baby because you fear his actions, is fucking selfish.
You knew there was a risk of relapse from the start.
Ultimately it’s your choice. But that decision should be based off solely how you feel about baby. Not how he’s acting.

So what you’re saying is, you got with him knowing he was like this and now you’re mad he won’t change?

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Just an idea, but perhaps ‘don’t keep’ your BOYfriend and leave with that innocent and deserving life you are creating inside of you… If you want an abortion that’s your business, but don’t make your decision based on the actions of this absolute cock womble

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Whatever you decide leave him either way. Talk to someone though. Get some counseling. Seek help on how to raise a baby alone or with the help of family and friends. Even about giving him or her up for adoption if there’s absolutely no way you could raise the baby. Adoption is one of the most selfless gifts a parent can do for a child if they know they can’t raise them. But like I said leave him, baby or no baby that’s not something you want in your life. Good luck

First off, keep the baby!! Leave him and take care of yourself and this innocent child!! Killing your baby is not an option!

The baby is a keeper, the guy is not. Take care of your baby and yourself. Go to a shelter if you need.

I would leave him. Go on with your life. Have your baby and live your best life. Ask God to order your mind and steps​:pray::heart:. I had 3 kids, my husband got on drugs gave him chances and I prayed the entire time. I put him out got a divorce ASAP! Me and my kids received all kinds of blessings from there on. Don’t allow your child to become a victim because of a man or woman’s social life. My kids are awesome, we are so close and doing well. :pray::heart:

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Dump him. If you knew he had a problem, you shouldve used precautions. You can raise the baby on your own, you dont need him.

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Don’t keep the baby based on the hope that he will change. If you’re prepared to raise a baby on your own, go for it. It’s hardbut people manage it every day. If not, that’s ok, you ha e nothing to feel guilty about. Having a baby you aren’t prepared to raise is wholly unfair to the child. You wouldn’t be killing a human. You’re killing only the cells potential to become a human. Honestly, no one can tell you how to handle this situation. You need to sit down and really think about this. Perhaps seek a therapist, or discuss it with your doctor. They can at least walk you through the options and processes, as well as perhaps tell you about the commitment required to raise another human. It needs to be YOUR decision, made with YOUR mind and YOUR heart, and it should have nothing to do with him.

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Your love for your child should come first before him. Tell him if he wants you and the baby get some help, if he doesn’t get child support and move on.

My ex was like that.
Two kids later, when the youngest was 3 months old, I left. Best decision ever.

He was out on Christmas eve from 9pm to 6 am snorting coke.
2 more years of him doing coke after I left
he had another kid with someone else
did the same shit to her she left him

Now he is at rehab for the second time in one year.

It doesnt stop unless they want to, for them. It doesnt matter if you have a baby on the way, if he doesnt stop for himself he wont stop for you or the baby.

You will regret or not be able to go through with terminating your pregnancy because the person that knocked you up decides he wants to be a “Sniffany”. You cannot “change” ANYONE, but YOU can make changes and put your foot down and not put up with it. You can raise your baby without a immature selfish little troll. You got this girl. Good luck!

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A baby is a blessing. I mean, you met him when he was already doing drugs. So it’s not the baby’s fault. That’s why there’s birth control. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Don’t punish the baby. You need to prepare to be single mom

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Leave him until he can make the decision himself to change. You have a baby to look out for.

First off, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Having an addict in your life especially when it’s your partner is so hard. He won’t stop until he makes that choice. I would keep the baby, he still has to help pay for the baby but he won’t have the opportunity to see baby unless you let him.

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I know you are probably still in the Honeymoon phase but addiction is very hard habit to break and it could happen but the person has to want it and not to please someone else.
As for the baby whatever choice you make you will have to live with. There are three options: abortion, raising the baby, or adoption. There are pluses and minus for all three.

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If you want this baby and are going to live he or she be a Sober good loving,responsible single parent,I say have that baby keep it it will come back to haunt you thru the year’s if you give them up for adoption,I am totally against Abortion,it will haunt you worse! Never abort a baby!!! Adopt out before the that,you hot a lot to think about,but you will be ok,just get some good advice from someone older slowly make a life changing decision! I say if you can love this baby be a good Moma,not perfect don’t exist! Then keep it!

First off…and this is not meant to sound as snarky as it will but…what does him sniffing coke have to do with wether or not you abort the baby??? It wasnt the baby that made him do it, why punish the baby? Also, he’s not going to stop unless he wants to. Sad to say, he wont stop for you if he doesnt want to. I’d leave. Leave and keep the baby cause again, the baby isn’t the problem.

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Keep your baby but don’t raise baby around someone like him. He will never change, always be the same. A child will turn your life around for the better, maybe he will change once baby’s here but like I say people like that don’t usually change

What is best for everyone… no way! Your pregnant, your life is now about what’s best for your baby and that’s not being around a drug addict.

It’s all very well everyone saying keep the baby, yes it is an innocent little soul but if she leaves him she is the one bring up baby alone. I’m not saying get rid I’m saying you can’t ask people what to do we all have views on things that can be controversial. You need to get away from him for start off, if you have family go there if not maybe a friend or even just get out of town for a bit. Once you have done that you can think clearly about being a single parent or moving on with your life. I had a child at 18 the dad wasn’t around, luckily I had wonderful parents who helped but it’s hard. He’s nearly 17 now and the best thing I ever did. Please think wisely about what your decision will be but also get out of the relationship it will only bring you down and make you more unhappy xxx

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Sounds like he needs a wake up call. An ultimatum. He either gives up drugs and goes to meetings or he loses you and your unborn child. If he doesn’t, then run away.

Speak with your doctor. Be honest about everything. Tests can be done…utllimately I will be your decision …
But leave him.

Keep ur baby and Leave him before you and ur un born baby get hurt can’t change him but you can change ur self by staying away from him and the safety of the baby rigth now you and the baby need to come first,you don’t need problem’s like this now and having a baby with a person doing drug,'s I’m sure ur family will help people think having a baby with some one doing drug’s it will make them change but it’s not this way at all they have to get help and they have to stop for you, the baby becare and take care ok

This decision is yours however he WON’T change! If you feel as though you cant be a single mom you have 2 options…
1… Abortion which is your right
2… put the kid up for adoption and never know if it is being treated good.
My personal choice would be #1

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get a good education so you self sufficient, he who travels fastest , goes alone … get away from the drug schene

Hes not going to change sweetheart. Most addicts go back to their drug of choice in any stressful situation. Do what’s best for you

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Forget about what HE’S gonna do. He will ONLY stop when hes ready. Hes an addict. You need to plan everything from here on out for just you and your child. When hes ready to stop…if he does…then include him in your plans. You cant count on him right now.

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I’m sorry! This is soooo hard but he is NOT READY BECAUSE HES AN ADDICT. 1000000%.

U need to leave him and expect to never see him again.

He hasnt gotten clean now he wont when baby comes.

Your lying to yourself and need to protect u and the baby. You know the answer. Hes not safe!

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Message me dear so we can talk.

I agree with all of there advice soo have a hard think and do what is right (the baby did not ask to come into this world ) takes 2 to tango ??

HE has to want to change, until then good luck you are on your own.

Been where you are honey, my partner and I have been together 11 yrs with 3 kids our eldest is 6 next month and and for 7 years (after we got together) he was addicted to meth, he used for 2 years behind my back and then I fell pregnant with our first and it all came out and he did well for 11 months but relapsed, thankfully we had moved in with his parents so I had much needed support and when he came back he did as well, but he kept relapsing, yes he did try to get into rehab but we where told he had to be 6 months clean (only found out recently that’s bull) then from 2015- 2017 he did amazing but then his idol passed and he lost it for about 7 months, then one day he came over (he was living with between his parents and friends) our kids elder 2 (I was pregnant with #3) had been playing happily yelling and running around, till he walked in the door and they said sorry and packed their toys away and sat down in front of the TV, he said “jeez we have well behaved kids.” I turned around and said “No it’s because they don’t know what to expect from you, when you visit.” That opened his eyes, he got clean just in time for our youngest to be born and has been for 2 years and he says every single day that if I hadn’t been in his corner through it all he’d be lost. It’s a long hard journey and I don’t know where I found the strength to do it but I’m thankful I did
Note I did not let him near the kids if I suspected he had been using recently but there where 3 times I missed it but as soon as I called him out he left on his own accord

Leave him and keep your baby. It’s not the babys fault its father likes to do cocaine.
Being a single mother isnt easy but it’s also not as hard as it was 20 years ago. Plenty of programs designed to make your life easier

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walk away and take baby with you- if you can’t raise the wee one as a single parent- there are many wonderful families looking for a child to call their own❤️ (you can do open adoption and still be a part of your babies life)

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There’s not enough details here for me to give you my honest opinion but I left my husband when we were pregnant with our oldest, I was 19 he was 21 and we had been together almost 5 years before getting pregnant. He always did party but things got really out of hand when his dad died and our date of conception was the exact date my father in law passed. I tried to give him ultimatums and shit… that won’t work​:woman_shrugging: A lot of other shit happened but today… We are almost 6 years sober and have another child together and married. But he changed because HE WANTED TO, a person can change for another, but it’s not that simple. They change because they want to be a better them FOR YOU, not because your bitching at them and giving them ultimatums. There’s much more to our story and I don’t mind sharing if you’d like. But I also want to say, you don’t mention y’all’s ages at all, that matters​:woman_shrugging: Young kids can party and not be an addict. How long did he go without doing coke? Was your conversation just recently and he barely made it a month? Or was this the 1st time he’s snorted coke in a year? Those are 2 different scenarios hun​:woman_shrugging: And this is going to sound harsh no matter how I say it but here goes… This right here is why it’s YOUR responsibility to not get pregnant by someone whose lifestyle choices you don’t agree with​:100::woman_shrugging: Don’t make the same mistake twice at very least! And as far as the abortion… That’s a choice that you and only you can make because you’ll have to live with it or without it. But ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN LIFE​:100: At 15 I never thought I’d go down the roads I’ve been down but then at 20 I never thought I’d be able to have a normal life with the love of my life again either​:woman_shrugging:

Do not let him around that baby. #1 reason for cps to take a child is for being in a home with a drug addict.

Yeah, punish the baby because you made the decision to get pregnant by a known druggie. Sounds reasonable.

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Get rid of him for sure.

I’ve always been a believer that any woman having a baby better be willing to be a single mom, because nothing is guaranteed in life!
You are the one that has to live with your decision!
Sounds like you need to figure out if you’re ready to be a parent yet!
Sadly its unlikely he will change anytime soon.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

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Only you can decide. .it’s hard bringing a child into this world on your own. But the rewards is fantastic if you do decide to keep it … the love you have for your baby is strong and if your partner prefers drugs it’s his loss …he maybe is having a difficult time trying to stop taking and I sympathies there but he really needs to try and by the sounds of it he doesn’t want too. So both you and baby are better off without him.

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Leave and never look back. I know you think “easier said than done” no hun, it really is that easy. If you cant do it for yourself then do it for that baby. You might think you could tolerate it, but that baby didn’t ask to be around that life style and a child never should be around it.

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Is that what you want for your kids?. Soon he will be stealing money from your purse. Dump the loser FAST, and get ready to be a single mom. Lots of support out there.

Keep the baby, drop the man. Simple. He is not ready if he’s picking drugs.

Never began a relationship with a drug addict. #1 you can’t believe anything they say#2.i watched my son try to make it with an addict and his life is miserable trying to cope for the baby sake. Cut it off now. Toxic relationship will never work.

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Keep your baby and leave him.lots of single moms out there.a man is not needed to raise a child. Love is

You can’t ask him to stop doing drugs he has to want to stop and the it sounds he isn’t going to stop anytime soon so my advice is to leave him and get as far away as possible and keep your baby

Rehab for him and leave him.

My advice youre sick

I would leave him and keep the baby.

Wow how is this even a question? Leave him. He’s choosing drugs over his family plain and simple. He’s already shown you he can’t be trust either by lying to you. If you choose to stay with him you’re risking losing your child.

Do what’s best for you. If you don’t want the single responsibility of raising a child, then have an abortion. If you want to keep it but not deal with him, get as much evidence as you can about his drug use and keep your baby to yourself.

It’s your choice. your body your decision! You have the answers … pray!

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They won’t quit unless they want to. Only thing you can do is give them a choice. If they choose drugs, walk away. It’s the best thing you can do for you & the child. You shouldn’t feel bad for wanting him to choose ya’ll over the drugs. Be strong & don’t give in. Ya’ll or drugs. No contact with any of drug friends. He can’t be trusted to go anywhere without you. To me he already made his choice when he left to go get high instead of going with you.

Is this really a question? RUN! You cannot fix him and he will not stop until he wants to. For the sake of you and your baby RUN!

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Please keep your baby. I will help you if you need help. Makes me sad I want a baby so bad and just can’t have a baby.

Ultimatum! Coke or a family? The second must include rehab and serious, permanent life change. No more contact of any kind with his drug buddies. Ever. The rehab program needs to be a live-in place and include meetings on a regular basis after he completes the live-in stage. If he’s not willing to commit to change then your only other choice is to leave for the safety of your child and yourself.

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Do not get an abortion! That is murder. I will adopt your baby. I agree Kayla on the rest. How old are you?

That baby is counting on you to keep it safe, both in the womb and out. Keep your child. You will find that you being a mom is your greatest joy!
As for the boyfriend, stay on his butt til he gets clean. Begin to pray for his deliverance from drugs. Don’t marry him until he’s at least 1 year clean.
But you, you go and live your best life, with or without him. You and your beautiful baby will make it in this world together. God has a plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11

And remember, being a single mom will open doors for you!

I’m praying for you.

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I personally have never been in this situation but as a mother, your baby should be your main priority. Keep your baby hun and if you feel you may not be ready to raise the baby alone, there’s always adoption. He has to want to change. You can’t make him do it. I’m sure you’ve talked about it and maybe even suggested going to rehab but ultimately the decision will be his. Pray that he does get the help he needs. You have to be healthy not only for you but for the baby and stressing behind him won’t help. You’re only responsible for you and your baby. He knows he has a problem but until he’s ready to tackle it and get help, there’s nothing you can do. Praying for you hun.

My baby daddy is an addict they will never change. I stayed 5 almost 6 years and it was pure hell. I would run while you can. It hurt my daughter seeing him be high or treat me bad.

either way, you are going to have a baby… i would focus on your child.

Keep the baby. Leave him. Make him understand that this is serious. He can’t have both. He has to make a choice. He must win your respect and trust. Otherwise you will regret not putting your foot down now. If he is really committed he will follow through. Make him work for it. He will if he really wants this. Good luck.
I have been in a similar situation. I didn’t put my foot down when I should have. Needless to say we are not together anymore but I survived without him. Our child survived with him. You can do this.

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Your baby comes first, you don’t want him or her to grow up in a house with a parent doing drugs. You can do this without him! It’s hard but it’s not impossible, many women do it. Go to your local pregnancy center if you can and talk to them. Many places have programs in place to help you get everything that you will need for your baby and even parenting classes. Maybe your partner will straighten up one day once he sees his beautiful child. Also, you could try couples counseling. Hang in there, you will not regret having your sweet baby, he or she will be your best friend.

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sounds like he needs help and he isn’t gonna change without rehab. if you choose to keep the baby you should leave him.

You shouldn’t let his drug habit determine whether or not you keep your blessing… God is with you even now and he will provide. I wouldn’t hope he gets better, I’d demand it and leave him to figure out what he wants… a coke high or his family. Sadly enough drug addiction is a fight for the user you tag along and you’ll lose a lot including yourself… praying for you

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I agree with Kayla beshears - leave him if he goes back to using drugs again - for your safety and the child

No abortion. You can always give the baby up for adoption if you feel you can’t take care of your baby. So many people would love to adopt your baby!

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Keep the baby & leave him. The baby takes priority & obviously he doesn’t see that. I’ve dealt with this scenario myself, with my 1st husband. Trust me on this… leave him until he seeks help for the right reason, & that would be because he wants to, it won’t work otherwise.

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I have worked with addicts for over 15 years as I’m a licensed chemical dependency counselor. There is nothing you can say or threaten to do for him to quit. If he doesn’t want to clean/help he isn’t. Bring up the subject of a 12 step program or a rehab and if he says he can control it or doesn’t need help, than LEAVE. Not even a child will stop him his use will only progress. For the sake of YOUR mental health leave the relationship. He will physically, mentally and emotionally drain you. You need to be 100% functioning to be there for your baby. Feel free to pm if you need someone to talk to. I’ve also been in your situation because my son used drugs and it was a long 5 years before he decided to go into help.

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Keep your baby and leave him alone. You can’t make someone change. They only change when they decide. Your baby deserves you and a good home.

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U and the baby come first always. If he choose to drug’s over you and your child. The. You have every right to leave. The child safe is more important. Best of luck on your decision

Ouch. Imagine that hes not in the picture and has nothing to do with you or your baby, since that’s what it sounds like your afraid of. Imagine that his issues are not an extension of you and your baby at all, because they are not. Then decide if you, and only you, are willing (nobody is ready, even if they think they are) to have this child. Now if you decide to be a mother of this baby, ask yourself if you want his behavior around your child.

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Be done with him! You cannot change him. He will have to be the o e to decide when he will get clean. Do not allow him to abuse you any further. If you feel you can’t provide for your child out him or her up for adoption. Whatever you decide about the baby, get rid of the daddy.

Don’t abort but give the baby up if you don’t think it is a good choice for you to keep! Lots of people would love a baby that they can’t have on their own

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There’s a place for expectant mamas called Care Net. You are not alone. Amelia Gonzales runs the place in Espanola (don’t know where you are living) but I know she can help provide you with someone local to talk to, information and great resources. Before you make any decisions please give her a call. I’ll be praying for you

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Leave him and if you don’t feel able to raise a child alone place the for adoption. The 2best gifts I’ve ever received were my 2 adoptive sons.

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Dont let somebody elses drug problem push you into killing your baby. You knew he had a drug issue before you got pregnant.
He isnt going to quit just because you want him too. He wont untill he is ready. I would trust he will always do right by your baby as long as he is using and thats not the roll model you want for your baby.
Let him know he is welcome to rejoin your family after he gets clean and put a resonable time on it lime being clean for 1 year.

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Don’t let his drug addiction decided wether or not to keep your baby! That baby has no choice in the matter. You should not have to choose between your baby and a drug addict. Keep your baby and leave him. If having a child on the way is not enough for him to get clean then leave his ass behind. You do not need him to raise your child!

You would give up your baby for a cokehead?!?

You need to make sure the baby doesn’t have coke in it’s system, otherwise you might loose the baby. Get rid of him regardless. You can raise the baby on your own and you will both be fine. As a precaution I would recommend having tests to ensure the baby is ok.

Well apparently he has shown you that he’s not going to quit. So its up to you if you want a drug addict around your child. No telling what he may do to that child if left alone with it. Number two you are the one that should decide if you want to keep the child. Sounds like you aren’t ready either if so it wouldn’t even cross your mind. So sounds like you both made a mistake. Remember when you give a child up for adoption you rarely get to see it again. Are you ready for that? If so I would suggest to do it. He’s for sure not ready no matter what he says. I would never trust him but that’s me. You know him better. Decide and decide soon as that baby is a living human and deserves the best. Good luck

Get rid of him…u are not important enough for him
…sorry…not sorry
He will continue those behaviors and continue to lie to you

A leopard doesnt change its spots and water seeks its own level!!!

How do you get pregnant with someone line this?

Get out now. If you don’t want the baby. Give it up for adoption. Hope everything works out.God bless.

Keep the baby you wont be sorry.

Your really asking for advise?? Leave him and don’t look back.

Keep the baby and leave. Don’t be selfish by putting your child in harms way

Get out before you get drug down.

Keep the baby and ditch him

Ur body ur decision!!

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