Is there something wrong with me? Partner and I have been together for four years. I have an almost six-year-old to a previous relationship, and we have an almost two-year-old together. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it’s like I’m always finding something wrong in our relationship. I honestly don’t have a reason to. I’m extremely lucky. My partner has always been great with both kids. It gives me the breaks I need, cooks clean. Ect. But I’m not happy. I don’t know if I’m just letting myself not be or if there is something wrong. My family and friends tell me I’m nuts and that I’m so lucky to have found him. Which I know I am. Especially after seeing guys friends and family have been with. I just don’t know what’s wrong and I’m generally concerned something is wrong with me
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner is great but I am constantly looking for issues in our relationship: Thoughts?
Following* I’m literally a grumpy old lady.
Happiness is an inside job. You’re looking for things because you want him to be unhappy like you. Also you seem super ungrateful, but that’s also attributed to your unhappiness. It always takes leaving a good one to get a worse one, and then it’s too late.
Maybe its out of your comfort zone so your looking for somthing becasuse your not used to it? Try councling and talking to him because he sounds wonderful and you sound like you love him just not sure how too because your used to something different
Maybe some underlying trauma ? Before I was in therapy I felt similar, it was like I was used to dysfunction and any normality worried me because I was always expecting something bad to happen. I catch myself sometimes feeling this way but i can identify it and change my tune to help my moods.
You are perfect just the way you are, this is how all ribs are, just make sure you constantly tell him and anytime he looks comfortable ask him to do something 
I know this sounds terrible. But honestly. It could just be depression. It happens. You can have every reason in the world to be happy and you are just miserable anyways. It sucks. If you can afford it, therapy has done wonders. If you don’t have a hobby that sparks you, find one. We gotta find the little things.
Happiness comes from within. It does not come from a s/o or friend. Look into your self for your happiness. Find a hobby or maybe see a therapist. Sometimes it can be the smallest thing or the biggest thing that is bugging you that you do not see. Maybe you are not feeling wanted enough?
You are responsible for your own happiness. Try to stop looking for it in other people bc I can promise you you’ll never find it. Fix the things within yourself that you feel make you unhappy. The rest will follow.
One person’s prince is another’s frog. Happiness is an inside job.
So your car is running fine but you constantly wanna open the hood and start twisting and fiddlin with stuff? put away your tools before your car stops runnin right
There are so many losers out there snap out of it, be happy most people would love to be in your place, so just say to yourself i am going to start embracing the fact i have a great guy, family and life
I was the same way because of past relationships. I have a wonderful husband now that is perfect for me in every way and I have done those things before just because I feel it is going to perfect. I always think something crazy or whatever lol but truth is I am the one with insecurities because he is who he is and has not changed one bit from first meeting till now. Give it time maybe it is like that with you like maybe its a to good to be true thing but actually it is the best
Ok just a thought, was your last relationship less then "proper? "
Often people find themselves looking for signs when they are Stable because its all theyve known. I say this from experience. Your first “Good” relationships makes you question everything…
Just a thought. I have found myself now looking inwards. Focus on your mental health a little perhaps
Following *I do the same thing it’s like I want something to go wrong
It sounds like depression to me. Maybe talk to a therapist or a Dr. to try out some antidepressants, or even a natural supplement. There’s Kava forte, ashwagandha, L-Thianine. Also communicate w him. Let him know he’s great and that you appreciate him and all he does for you and the kids. Good luck 
Seriously, birth control was making like that! I had to take out my nexplanon spelling
Talk to your Doc because it can also be depression maybe? It was bc for me! I was completely different afterwards.
Depression & underlying unresolved issues will cause you to constantly look for reasons to fight with someone. It’s like you don’t feel happy so why should he be happy? Type of thought process. Which isn’t healthy at all. Maybe try counseling or therapy to find the root of these internal issues that you have within yourself.
Go back out on dates like when you guys first started dating. Bring the razzle back in, life happens and you probably feel bored in a way. So bring the first date feeling back. Worth a shot atleast
Do you think you look for faults because you deep down don’t realise your worth and don’t expect your relationship to be happy like it is do you worry it’s a matter of time for it to all end because I used to think like that when I was in a relationship it was always in the back of my mind not wanting to enjoy the relationship because I didn’t know my worth at the time and was always thinking it’s just a matter of time before they leave and also as much as you want to be 
all in you put barriers/walls up so your not hurt in the long run
Stop calling him It. Maybe that will help. If that was a typo then proofread what your writing before clicking post. And maybe you are the problem. He may feel the same way about you. And with good reason I am guessing. Get some professional help . Sorry I am not one to sugarcoat things.
You sound depressed. Maybe you should talk to a doctor.
To me, it sounds like PTSD. Personally, my last 3 relationships were pure shit. Abuse, neglect, gaslighting etc. When I met my husband, I was skeptical and I kept waiting for something to go wrong. I swore he was like the rest. I finally talked to HIM about it, and he has loved me through it. I still have my moments, but he still loves me through it. I would suggest talking to your guy about it and setting something up with a counselor for yourself. It helped me.
maybe stuck in a rut? try to plan something fun with your family
Maybe y’all need a date night or a weekend without kids 
Maybe its depression
Well at least you admit it, that’s the first step. Don’t take what you have now for granted.
What is it your are unhappy about with your partner?
Could be a trauma response, like if you have been with someone in the past who caused alot of problems or hid stuff. Too good to be true sense…
Maybe you’re just craving something more exciting! Maybe have a date night and do something really fun with him?
Could be any of these things . Could also be you’re just not in love anymore . People grow apart it’s life and that DOES NOT mean there HAS to be something WRONG with YOU. Maybe you need to see if there’s still a spark there . Any little
Some people are just addicted to chaos. Maybe seek therapy.
If he is not who or what you want, no matter how great he seems, you won’t and can’t be happy.
Maybe you just don’t love him? You can have the perfect guy perfect family life and all that but if you not in love then you nit pick because you know deep down and crave excitement
Look into counseling and ppd
Therapy is literally for everyone. Everyone can benefit from therapy. You might just be depressed, or have anxiety, or even so small as needing different ways to cope with life than what you currently have. And that’s all fine! I have huge admiration for people who reach out and seek help, you got step one, now go find a therapist, you Champion!
Try spicing up your relationship, go see a therapist maybe you have some demons you need to over come.
When did this start? Before or after baby#2 Sounds like untreated post partum. Is it just the negativity or do you have other symptoms? See your doctor and a therapist and perhaps a psychiatrist. This could be more than emotional distancing sounds biological and chemical. Mental Health matters.
It’s called self sabotage. I struggle with it. To me everything is so perfect means that something is bound to go wrong at any moment so then I become critical and brig up everything because in the back of my mind im still just waiting for shit to go south. Talk to a counselor if you can. Being able to recognize and admit the situation is a big step. One thing that has helped me is trying to make sure I’m a greatful to my man for everything he does. I try to keep negativity super low in my life and honestly it has helped.
Yes you have been hurt need therapy
See a counselor. You need to talk to someone.
You don’t love him. You try to because he’s perfect and your children are happy, but no matter how much you try, you can’t force yourself to want someone you don’t want.
I believe this is an issue that has been stemmed from your child hood. Maybe you were always on the edge… or always in the unknown on what’s going on. I say this because for sure I thought like this for the longest and it has stemmed from my childhood. It’s okay to be happy… you are in control of your life… it’ll be okay. I hope I helped.
Start reading or listening into personal development books!
Happiness starts with yourself!
Self sabotage is a real thing. Seek therapy before it’s too late
Nothing wrong with you, probably just from being burned in the past. Always talk about how you feel, it will help
Were you able to enjoy the relationship before? Do you find yourself unable to enjoy other things you used to enjoy, also? You might be depressed.
Sounds like anxiety. Research anxious attachment. See a therapist. Ignore bad advice.
Do you have depression? im not a doctor by any means but this sounds similar to depression. Maybe seek professional help such as therapy I can relate to this all too well. Was your last relationship toxic and traumatic? that could be a reason too.
Sounds like depression and anxiety. Try talking to your doctor about it. There are meds that can help. Also try talking to a therapist.
If your relationship feels wrong, it probably is.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner is great but I am constantly looking for issues in our relationship: Thoughts?
Relationships take forever
You aren’t alone! I have done it for years and after starting with a counselor I see why and how I am like that. For me, it’s childhood trauma. And its totally a defense.
Sounds like depression. Seek help, therapy might do you some good to dig around and see what comes up.
sometimes this happens. you’re with a practical person who is equally good and wholesome but they don’t set your soul on fire. do you have common interests? do you guys take some time to yourselves and go on dates and whatnot? sometimes it’s good to take a moment and reconnect with your person.
I used to do that…it’s just something ur used to, good thing u recognize it. I would have to apologize and correct that behavior, basically sabotaging your happiness. You deserve to be happy…if you can’t do it alone try getting some counseling/therapy.
Contentment…super hard! It is taught that we have to “learn” to be content and it just does not happen naturally! I am always wanting things to better/different. It has helped to start each day with a gratitude journal and list 3 things to be thankful for…you start seeing the “good” and not focusing as much on what is “not good”! I also pray a lot to let me see life through the right lens vs. my fuzzy discontented glasses! -g
Could it be Menopause?? 
So brave of you to express & ask, seek counseling ASAP.
Sounds like you are not use to being happy and are basically waiting for the other shoe to drop. That comes from past let downs, my suggestion talk to a therapist to work through whatever it is that’s allowing yourself to let your guard down and be truly happy before it’s too late
Be careful before you kick him to the kerb; it’s slim pickings out here!
You are not happy so you are looking for little excuses to leave him. Communicate with him or get counselling for yourself.
It took me three husbands to finally realize the issue was that the traditional concept of a marriage created 4500 years ago wasn’t for me. Might be the game not the players.
If you’ve had past trauma in relationships - romantic, friendships, family - this could be a defense mechanism. Our brains tell us to find a reason to leave before we get hurt and it’s hard to fight.
Try journaling!
I know, it sounds elementary but it makes a huge difference. Sometimes we need to slow down and take the time to listen to ourselves, find out what is happening, and have a chance to let everything spill out, in a nondestructive or explosive way.
If this seems like a big step, try making a daily list of things you’re grateful for.
If you can’t find the time to create a list, start by taking a quiet moment and saying what you’re grateful for out loud.
Also, yoga is a great way to channel mindfulness and relieve stress.
Baby steps. I hope this helps!!
I just realized I’m doing this too. I am scheduling an appointment with a therapist but I’ve been making my marriage hell when I should be happy.
If you’re always looking for flaws, that’s all you will see. Js, coming from experience here 
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner is great but I am constantly looking for issues in our relationship: Thoughts?
This is the norm nowadays! Sad really!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner is great but I am constantly looking for issues in our relationship: Thoughts?
The self will always find fault don’t believe it You’ve trained it that way to protect yourself Don’t push it down and don’t run away It’s mostly projection just be gentle and tender Quiet gentle heart and love in any little way you can
Possible outcome with a therapist is you will be encouraged to leave. Today’s thought is if you aren’t happy you should leave. Grass is not always greener. Don’t allow your thoughts to rule you. When they come into your mind think of the good things about him. You leave him and he will be snatched up with a quickness because he is a good person. Might not get him back. And you have the kids to think about. A family unit makes a big difference with children. He gets with someone else and she could cause a world of trouble for him seeing his kids. My ex remarried and she made sure he and the kids were miserable when the kids would come over. He died before things changed. I sure wished I hadn’t listened to my therapist. You have a keeper but if you think you are OCD or some other problem go to a therapist but be careful about the advice.
Yes you are lucky to have all that and don’t give it up. I am also a person that am never happy. I always think there is more. I went backwards I had a guy who loved to cook and would do all and I took off stay put and it is you with the mind problem. Go talk to someone and find out why. For me I’m very independent with no kids and was always used to doing whatever I wanted then there was a big thumb. Idk if he is the same but best to find out before changing your life around
I could tell this lady a few things but if she has a partner instead of a husband she would not listen. To God be the glory
You need to give the most stable relationship to your kids. Kids need a good roll model. Sounds like you have one.
Take a couple of classes of Salsa together. Both of you need to in companies of beautiful happy dancing people. It’s a low impact exercise and both of you need to feel comfortable with each other, in public. Do not do it alone. You will easily find connections with other people and that will hurt your relationship. Go jogging alone, do other strenuous exercise alone but keep at it and make sure both of you make time together on other activities. If both of you still cannot click, you know it’s you. Exercising is to help relief you from depression. So you know it wasn’t what’s making you nuts.
Have cocktails on a regular basis so you can open up to chat and laugh! Laughing is such a cure for marital problems! Especially when the kids gone to sleep. It’s your time together.
You have to love yourself before you love someone else. Not once in your story did you you say you love him. Maybe you need a counsellor. I would try one before I did anything drastic
It’s not your relationship…its something inside u . Stick with the guy mabe start work on yourself. That’s what makes you be happy.
maybe try and go to therapy and perhaps couple therapy. it seems like you’re trying to self sabotage…
Unlearn it, when you feel yourself picking try and stop yourself.
Perhaps it’s just a habit which you have too try and change.
your aware of it and think it’s an issue so I’d say that’s a good start
The issue is with you my dear, not him , not your relationship. You. Therapy is what you need. If you aren’t happy, you will find the negative in EVERYTHING. Sounds like you need to have a sit down talk with him. You 2 might need to work together. Don’t make everyone around you miserable because you are unhappy.
maybe the lack of committedness, as in being married, makes you anxious and unsettled especially since you have kids with him. consider getting legally hitched so you can feel secure.
You are afraid to be happy…you need to get away together for a night or two and focus on each other… Even if it’s just watching a movie together
Sometimes it is a ‘comfortable’ feeling to always be finding something wrong because that is how we have always felt. But, just because it is 'comfortable’doesn’t mean it is right. Change your attitude and ‘think differently’ - and see what is really there, not what we think is there.
Sounds like you need to see a therapist to see why you feel this way. Sounds like you have an awesome guy. The two of you should get out and do something together at least once a week. You know date night. Get the romance going.
You. Are. Not. Nuts. It’s so easy for us all to be grateful for what we have but still feel like something is missing. I highly recommend small things (list one specific thing every night you’re grateful for TO HIM OUT LOUD. See if it all relates to him as a father or him as your partner. Start OUT LOUD praising anything he does or says that speaks to your love language etc.) Doing those little things out loud will help you to analyze things as they are happening in real life verses something in your head. It might be hard or awkward at first, but truly this should help pin point where you’re feeling your disconnect and can also help to open the doors to useful communication. Best of luck lady!!!
I think You just aren’t that’s attracted to nor respect him for some reason. You only said what other people said “you should be grateful” it sounds like you lost attraction or it was never there. You don’t sound like someone who’s “lucky” to have him. Figure out what changed. Maybe he became complacent. Idk
From what you are telling us he is a great guy and I believe that is a great start. Find something you can do together -just the two of you- outside the house, a mutual interest in sport/music/outdoor activity/you both choose anything which will let you spend time together one-on-one. Try to remember what was it that you were attracted to him from the first moment you met. Even the least thing you might think it is nothing, it can be something to work around. Obviously you want this guy to stay in your and your children’s life. First, you need to realise what is it that you want to achieve/fulfil in your life as an individual and a human being. You must like yourself first and foremost -your inner self that is- and aim to start liking what there is around you without forcing yourself. Then the next thing, sit together and make a list what each one of you likes/loves and what each of you would like to do for the other… this way there will be no disappointments that none of you is getting what they expect of their spouse; because thinking what the other person might like is not the same as knowing for sure what the other person likes or loves to do for each other. Good luck!!
It’s possible your brain is just preprogrammed to look for the bad, try doing some mental work on looking for the positive and actively being positive! My partner had a similar issue where nothing was ever good enough and he was consistently unhappy until I worked with him on seeing things in a more broad way instead of so tunnel vision on the small bad things, and on actively looking for positive things and he’s been in a much better head space!
When you find yourself finding fault with him, stop, breathe and ask yourself if this is something you actually find wrong with yourself or if you are holding him accountable for the past.
What I read is that there is everything to love about this man and you know the discontent doesnt really rest with him. You were won’t be happier without him and the children,or will you? It’s very easy to find purpose and fullment in life and that really is your goal. It wont matter if you have a different partner,it might still feel the same. If you have access to counseling make use of it. Talk to your doctor about your mental health. So many people in life feel they need to “find” themselves and will look at their partner as a barrier to happiness. Most times,that’s not the case. Take an inventory of how you want to feel. I know it may seem trite,but volunteer somewhere,doing something important to you,something that helps you see how your presence and participation make life better. Nothing is holding you back. Long hugs.
You need to happy within yourself first! I’d say you need to see someone and work out on your own issues. If you cantlove someone else if you don’t love you 1st 
Typical modern women. This man took yu and another mans child in. Provides foe you. And you’re unhappy. Grow up please. You have a responsibility now to them kids and him. Or try your luck out here on the dating scene with 2 kids from separate men. When it fails tho don’t get online saying how ain’t no good men left.
Have you talked to your therapist about borderline personally disorder? Do you have a therapist? Everyone should!!
Go get more in your life maybe a sport a martial art something for you because you are more than a mom or a sister or a wife Go be you You will be better for them when you get home
Have you talked to him about it? Maybe something is bothering him too but he doesn’t know how to tell you. That might be the case if he’s acting different.
Other option, spice it up some in the bedroom or wherever you so please. Never get comfortable. Always look for the next thing to experience together. Always progress. I hope somethin I said helps lol
It sounds to me that you are struggling with deeply felt challenges and frustrations… Your honest self assesment and awareness are valid first step on the journey to appropriate changes in personal behavior. A next step is having the determination to change and then to seek proper guidance and assistance, while faithfully reading and studying God’s Word.
May the Lord be with you as you continue on your path of self discovery and change:pray: