My partner makes me feel worthless

Your life isn’t to be "controlled " by someone else behavior and insecurities.

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Is there such thing as a man that doesnt degrade and call a good woman names, or tear them down when theyre mad? This seems to be common.
We dont have to put up with that and many of us including myself have dealt w it at one point or another.
Darling let me tell you this. I dealt with exactly what youre going through, I rode those promises he made of change and false hope for over 10 years and 2 children with him later. All the lies of false promises eventually broke me… literally. I fell into clinical depression, i ended up needing pills just so i could function day to day and take care of my children, i lost all sense of my self worth and lost myself completely, year after year false promises after false promises that he would change. Each time they promise and dont change a piece of you is taken… until one day you have nothing left. It will destroy you… okay. Take heed. Please dont make the same mistake as I did, I suffered tremendously because of it.

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I’m so sorry, this is definitely abuse. He won’t change. It will get worse. I was in a relationship with someone for years that begged me not to end it, kept me on a short leash,and always promised to get help with anger management.That never happened.It took a good 2 years after the realization that things wouldn’t change, to finally leave. You are young, the world is yours. Get out now while u can. Next time, it might mot be the wall. You are worth so much more that what it sounds like you are dealing with. One day you will meet someone who fits like a puzzle piece-but won’t be so hard, walls won’t be hit, you won’t be told to be home by a certain time- this is not love. And you have children- ohhh don’t let them think this kind of abuse is ok…nooooo. Sending hugs and prayers for strength for you to leave. Best of luck to you.

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Leave it isn’t going to change… your to young to waste time. Time is The one thing U can’t get back

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It will get worse. Next time it won’t be the wall, it will be you. Been there. Just leave now before more damage is done. This impacts the children’s mental health. I speak from experience.

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It’s time to go and I think you have to know this. It’s hard to leave but damaging to stay

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Um honey you need to just leave pack your shit and take your kids and leave before he hits you next

You need to leave before he hits you

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Run sis. Lotta red flags here

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It only gets worse. Never mind his promises…leave till he takes action to fulfill them …or he’ll just keep making you miserable and your children are learning this is acceptable behaviour

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Tread lightly he sounds dangerous. I would suggest getting yourself and kids somewhere safe FIRST then you tell him it’s over from a distance. Safty first!

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I agree with everyone!! Run Away!! You have to do what’s best for you and your kids. It scars a child seeing any type of abuse, he is only damaging them and you. Self preservation for you and the sake of the kids

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Take it from me who spent 15 years waiting for a man to “change”, he’s not going to change. I’m still very resentful that I spent from the age of 16 to age of 31 walking on eggshells, being controlled and unhappy. It only gradually got worse the more that I put up with. You have so much life left, go live it.

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From my experience please leave he won’t change at all period. You still young

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Walk away now, I have watched my mom deal with this shit twice now with my bio-pops. Alcohol is the DEVIL, LUCIFER HIMSELF.
Girl get you & you babies away from him.

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Louise Smith Was Platt

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Go now please don’t become another me! It will get worse and you will lose everything that makes you YOU! You’ll even look at yourself different please go now make a fresh break and never look back! I wish I’d of had this same conversation with myself. Good luck stay strong :muscle:

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Two people HAVE to work at it to make it better. You are the only one trying. Believe me, I have been there and I tried. I moved on and life is good!!

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What do you think is fair for your kids to witness? That all sounds like a very traumatic environment to grow up in. Think of the damage to your kids if you seriously stay with somebody like that. Scary. Good luck.

No one can make you feel any less than you are unless you allow it. Remember that. Know your worth!

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Run I lived that life and the wall will become u. My children seen me with holes in my lip. Dude pulling me by my hair so I willnt leave him. Leave now while u can the kids dont need to see that. My kids go to counseling before this happened and they still have issues over it.

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Get out. He isn’t going to change. And if he is willing to put holes in your walls then he is able to do worse. Please for the sake and safety of you and your children pack up and get out. He isn’t going g to change and it will only get worse. I’ve been through this.

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He definitely WON’T change. You’re young you need to leave for yourself as well as your kids…you have years to turn your life around. Speak to a lawyer, do a consult and make notes as to the most important questions that need to be answered…I wish you all the luck. Walking on eggshells is no way to live young lady…

Leave him while he is at work.

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No one else can tell you what to do.

But if I were in your situation I would Wait for him to go to work then pack and leave.

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And you married that?

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You’re letting the kids see this? Not a good environment for them and it definitely isn’t teaching them what a loving family is supposed to be like. This will fuck with them on the future if you don’t leave.

Leave it will only get wourse

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Do not try to make this work. Especially for the kids because that’s not healthy at all. He’s most likely not going to do any anger management or whatever therapy he’s saying he’ll do. He’s abusive and manipulative and trying to keep you around for himself. You need to leave.

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They don’t change unless they want too. He won’t change for you. I thought the same thing and honestly the verbal abuse was worse than the physical. After 6 years I finally got away.

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Girl leave one day when he’s at work and never go back. If he hasn’t hit you yet he will soon.

Baby, please leave. This was exactly the way my last relationship was. To the very last word. I’m 33 and have been thru a lot. Please listen to me and leave him. I’ll even open up my home to you and the kids just so you can leave him. It’ll get worse if you don’t. My ex would beat the hell outta me. You don’t deserve none of that

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GET OUT. RUN. This is the type of man that is abusive and his behavior will escalate. Abuse comes in many forms. Hitting walls is a message he wants to hit you. Yelling and screaming, being controlling & manipulative are all forms of abuse. Be brave for your babies & leave.

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You answered your own question.

life is too short to be living miserable! leave and live your life happily with your children. people like that dont change they get worse.

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That sounds awful. You need to leave him before he really hurts you…it will only get worse

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Get the hell away from this mam. Obviously he is abusive emotionally
Mentally
Financially. And next thing.
Physically

I can tell you it will not change move on. Be happy. You deserve to be happy and not be under his control and that is what it is and he will try and take more control over you

Girl take my advice and leave now! Don’t waste 14 years of your life like I did.

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Girl leave. It doesn’t get better.

Girl, leave! Have some self respect and move on. He won’t change. And you’re right, you’re only 22 and have so much more life to live. Don’t live it there with someone who doesn’t love and respect you!
I spent 5 years with a guy like this and it destroyed me. It took me 3-4 years after breaking up with him to fix what he had broke. It ain’t worth it!

Make plan leave while hes at work and if hes going to change he can do that on his own with out victims . If he gets his head and heart together after a year and regular child support payments and visits, you can revisit your relationship.

Wake up now they only get worse run for your life sister don’t wait till it’s too late

Don’t stay and put your self through that. You’ll end up with severe anxiety, c-ptsd, and depression. They won’t change. I stayed with a man because I thought I was in love with him and it was the worse thing I could have done with the kids. The children do not need to see you be treated this way because they will think it is ok to act like him.
People whom love each other don’t go around treating each other like that.

It’s very hard for you to understand the magnitude of his verbal abuse and so on, and yes I’m taking your age into consideration, the majority will tell you what i am LEAVE AND LEAVE NOW! You’re only 22 years old, you have have you’re entire life in front of you, take this from experience, DO NOT waste anymore of your time with him, I wish you the best

How does he reject the break-up???

Leave and don’t look back.

Speaking as someone who could be your mom, I can tell you he’s not going to change. He doesn’t want help. He’s never going to seek help. He’s just telling you what you want to hear to keep you around to continue to abuse you.

Like the old saying goes “action speak louder than words.” If he was serious about seeking help and changing he would’ve already done it and not just talked about it.

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RUN!!! You let him get away with this now, he will only get worse and know fake apologies and promises will buy him more time…. Have you seen recent headlines of girl missing!!! What about Shanann Watts (Chris Watts!) story?!? He brutally murdered his own babies then her while she was pregnant with their son! I GUARANTEE she dealt with the same as you are…… run and never look back!

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That big heart is allowing you stay for abuse. He’s abusing you and you kids. You need to speak with a domestic violence line and prepare for getting out. He’s an abusive alcoholic it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. He can’t reject your break up it only needs one no to end the relationship. He can react poorly though which is why you need to have a safety plan in place.

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I stayed in a relationship far to long with this type of man. He stabbed me in the hand for answering the phone. I was to scared to go to hospital, so I stitched it up myself. This also taught my kids how to be abusive towards me. You need to take those kids and go. Get a no contact order or he will harass you. Make a plan. Get yourself and kids out.

Girl… leave! You deserve to be in a relationship that you shouldn’t have to question your worth.

Please find somewhere safe to stay away from him. Maybe try couples counseling but until something is done about his behavior please leave that home. You deserve to feel loved and equal in your relationship. Best of luck and prayers sent your way :pray:

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They. Don’t change it. Gets worse. Run

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You are in an abusive relationship. Love doesn’t look like that. You can love a person and NOT be with them. That’s when you have to come to terms with the truth. You need help to get out and away from this person who is harming you, safely…… I pray you do. Good luck and protect yourself, protect your future, your worth and your humanity. Nobody should be treated like that.

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Ur so young n you n ur kids deserve so much better…u have ur whole life ahead of u…Leave him n be happy…THATS NOT HOW WE’RE SUPPOSE TO LIVE

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Run girl. It dont get better it gets worse. I thought the same thing then he started hitting on me and breaking my stuff. Please I dont wanna see anyone go through something so awful in a relationship

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Leave him while he’s at work and if it takes 2 days to do so just act normal after you’re packed the first day then go the next

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Leave. Leave now. Go to domestic violence shelter and they’ll help you. Big heart or not he will hit you. Before they hit you, they’ll hit near you. You and your children deserve better. Leave, now.

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Leave. Make a plan.

You really need to run and run far from him!!! If not for you, then do it for your babies!!!

He’ll get anger management if u stay??? Um he needs to do it for him self first…clearly has no intentions. All round typically narcissist they can’t change

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You need up and leave him walk away if he makes you feel like this your children don’t need the negativity

He’ll only take anger management if you stay? That’s the narcissist in him speaking, you need to walk away and leave before your children and yourself get hurt. Call the police next time you want him out, or just change the locks while he’s at work.

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Oh no you need to get out! My sister was murdered 6 years ago by her husband and he acted the same way and she would keep it behind closed doors until one day he snapped and shot her 21 times after he Brutally beat and raped her while their at the time 3 month old son was there. Please leave before it’s to late. You have children to think about. It sounds to me you could do way better

Run. Run. Loving him one thing. Need to live yourself. Soon you will be 60 and wonder where your life went

Get out! I was there for 8 years with that crap! It will never change. I know that only YOU can decide to leave. But coming from someone who finally left…it’s a huge relief. Even raising 2 kids only own is so much easier without him. I’m happier and less stressed. I no liver give af what he’s doing. And let me tell you, there are better MEN out there. He is not a man, he is a child

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Leave with your kids when he goes to work, drain the bank account and run. I did that, it was hard but we slept at night, peacefully.I worked 2 jobs most of my Life. But it was My Life.:rose::two_hearts:

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I tried to make it work for 15 years until I realized he was never gonna change. I wish I would have left sooner. It will not get better. And your children will be so much better off. You don’t deserve this

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That’s not a relationship walking on egg shells. Everyone deserves to be happy. He’s punched a hole in your wall who says the next time it won’t be u. Please get out

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Please go get a restraining order on him! If he’s hitting walls, he’s capable of doing more violent things! How violent is he willing to get at the thought of you leaving him, please, for your sake and your children’s, get out of there

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Nope… this isn’t a man worth being with. Take it from a woman that’s been in this situation in the past, leave and don’t look back. You’re wasting years of your life with a man not worth the time of day

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Hun, with all do respect and understanding you need to leave. IMMEDIATELY he punched a hole in your wall your face will be next. Lemme tell ya once you have to call 9-1-1 because God forbid it get physical it’s all downhill if you have kids cops are mandated reporters. Although you’re a victim they will still have to turn a DV case over to CPS I know I’ve been there and how I wish I would’ve known then what I know now. The hole in the wall is already enough to open/file a DV case if your neighbors or someone else was to hear that and call 911 how would you have explained the hole in the wall? get the hell out of there by any means necessary you are working on borrowed time before it escalates.

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Leave whilst your strong enough, before he slowly changes yourself beyond recognition x

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Nothing ever changes bc you keep allowing him to treat you this way . Ppl will hurt the ones they love the most but if you leave and stay strong he will realize what he lost and probably will make that change he said he would but you have to leave in order for him to see and realise what he truely lost.

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Leave and never look back! Don’t TRY. DO IT! If you stay you will become a statistic and your children will be motherless! I cannot stress this enough. Smarten the F up and get out NOW! Your stuff doesn’t matter. Take your kids and leave. He’s not there 24/7. Leave.

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Go see a lawyer. Get out. Sounds more dangerous than you know. Sad but he is too controlling.

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Save yours kids and get away.

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They do not change, whT you see is what you get. I would of left long ago. This is not good for you or kids to stay…

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Get out, and get out now. If this was your daughter what advice would you give to her? Love isn’t enough to stay. You have children do you want them to grow up thinking this behavior is acceptable?

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Hes only saying that so you’ll stay. It’s not going to happen. And it isn’t going to get better. Please don’t waste anymore time. Just go. You’ll wake up one day and realize all the years you wasted if you don’t. Theres someone out there for you that will treat you like a queen. I’ve been through this, I stayed longer than I should have. Trust me, it’s only going to get worse. You don’t want your kids to think being treated like this is okay. They’ll also start treating you and other people like this too. It’ll be hard at first, not gonna lie, but it gets better. You deserve the best, so go out and get it!

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He’s NOT GOING TO CHANGE. And you are enabling him to stay the way he is. Get out while you still can!

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Leave as the next punch won’t be the wall…

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Please get you and your children out of that environment asap.

Not all abuse is physical, although it does sound as if that isn’t far away. Someday it won’t be the wall, it will be you, or God forbid, one of your babies.

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Just leave, u will find what u want and need, he will not change

He is punching walls and being verbally and emotionally abusive towards you and you want to make things work with him ? … what is it going to take for you to leave him ? For him to start hitting on you and the kids ? … the longer you stay with him the more your letting the kids know that when they grow up it’s ok for them to treat others that way and it’s ok for others to treat them that way … Please do the right thing and leave him for your safety and your kids safety

Staying together is worse than leaving. It will have a bad impact on you and your children. You’re young…. Get out bow before it becomes physical.

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Dont even need to go past the first sentence to know you are in the wrong relationship. Literally all there is to it. Whether he actually does horrible things or you just take them that way, this is toxic for you. So get out. 7 billion people in the world and women always worrying about one mother fucker.

He is the problem - don’t blame yourself . Y’all ( he ) needs
Counseling ASAP . If he won’t go , YOU go now ! Trust me - you’ll be glad you did !

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Leave,!!! Now,it doesn’t get better

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Contact an attorney for legal advice…states have different laws regarding walking out on partners. Leave as soon as attorney says okay to do so. He will continue to degrade you and soon you will not be able to stand up for yourself at all. You are young; start over…you are worth it. Blessings.

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Giiirl leave.do you want your kid growing up seeing that.an trust me they do notice even when you try an hide it

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Sooooo what the question again. You already know what you need to do…LEAVE!

Please make a plan and leave for the safety of yourself and your children. He has already shown violence don’t be the next thing he punches.

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When I read these stories I feel happy that I am single. It gets lonely sometimes but it’s worth my peace of mind. Not to disrespect this woman but I think she already knows the answer to her predicament. Hopefully she has Family that can help her get out of this terrible situation. :confused:

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Please plan a time to leave when it’s safe for you and your children many red flags…

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hes a narcissist, make a plan to leave and do it asap. they thrive on your unhappyness and the reactions you give to their behaviour. Unfortunately he will never change and its best to get away asap

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Yeah, look time to look at the bigger picture…you and your kids or him. If you’re asking for advice here then you already have your answer…good luck x

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You need to leave because if he can punch the wall, what else will he punch during his stupid little man child tantrums.

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