My partner makes me feel worthless

I’ve been with my partner 4 years married since December, we have 2 kids together. He has been doing things that people question me about. The way he speaks to me is shocking, he makes me feel worthless, he drinks beer every single night, leaves me to pick everything up after him. I think he has anger issues and I feel as if I’m walking on eggshells all the time, I met a couple who have a child so me and my kids have been spending time with them and my husband has done nothing but argue with me about it and scream at me about it. He wants me to wait at home for him to finish work and not be home later than him. I tried to leave him at the weekend, so he punched a hole in my wall and refused to leave.
I have a very big heart and I want to make this work for all of our sakes, every time he says he will change nothing ever does. He’s said he will do some anger management as long as I stay with him.
I don’t know what to do as I do love him and if I tried to leave again he will just reject my breakup again. but I’m not the happiest I could be and I’m only 22 I have so much more life left


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner makes me feel worthless - Mamas Uncut

Honey, if you stay, the violence will be turned on you and most likely, the kids. It also will teach your kids that it’s totally normal and acceptable for daddy to be violent. They will learn and mimic the behavior. Don’t think of it like a failed marriage. Think of it as saving your children and their future. Get out, before your children have to attend your funeral and then be left in the care of the man that killed you in a fit of anger. I almost lost my life to domestic violence. Please, please, please, get out.


Leave. If he is punching a wall then at some point it’s bound to be turned on you. I was a victim of domestic and mine started with punching his hand thru a cabinet because I broke it off, then almost put my head into a brick wall. Following that I was pinned to the ground multiple times, he broke my phone when I attempted to call 911 on him. Please leave with your kids


Nope nope nope. Leave. First it’s the wall then it’s you or even your kids. RUN


GET OUT. I was with an abuser for 45 years. Verbal abuse does not leave bruises on you but it leaves you with permanent bruises on your brain and heart. I can tell you from experience things will not get better and soon the holes he punches will be you . Sorry but , life is short . It’s too late for me but you still have tome to save yourself. Good luck💜


Just leave, seriously don’t stay for the kids and don’t stay cause you love him its not enough to live like that!!!


Leave. Take your kids and leave.

Look at your kids. Is YOUR relationship what you would want them to be in? No? Then get out. Your kids are learning how they should be treated by watching you.


Please leave. I never comment on these. I never give my “opinion” but this is a fact…if you do not leave now with your children it will be one of you before long. If you do not have anywhere to go, call the police and they can help you get to a battered women’s shelter with your kids. Please just leave. They do not change. Ask me how I know!


If you own the house or are able to, change the locks if you feel safe to stay there with the children, if not then next time he goes out of the house you gather your essentials and you all leave. Go to your parents / friends. I’ve no doubt they will happily let you stay if you explain what you have here. Do all communication via text and if you feel unsafe collecting your belongings once you’ve told him the relationship is over then ask the police for an escort. Don’t waste more of your life with this person; you deserve and will find so much better. Trust me. :heartpulse:


Do you have good relationship with your father or brother? If so I would have them help you leave. Unfortunately you can’t love the hurt out of him. It has to be his choice. The kids will be better off without a father that chooses violence. Sending you love this is going to be very difficult but you are stronger than you know.

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Just saying…get out now before you lose yourself and seriously CAN’T

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This is when I tell u, if u have made every attempt and given him ample opportunity to get into some type of counseling and it still hasn’t happened, time to put ur foot down and pull the plug. He can’t reject ur breakup, it’s just a matter of who’s leaving. If he refuses to leave, u pack urself and ur children up and go. Make a plan. Stay with family/friends. If it’s ur place, u may have to go to court and “evict” him the legal way. Or, save urself the trouble of court and just move, start all over. U can’t be responsible for his mess and happiness. And in my experience, the happier u are the better ur kids are for it. It tends to ripple. Ur happier, the kids are happier. He can either get on board, get it together or not. U just keep pushing towards happiness. U are very right, life is too short to waste time being miserable together.

What can you love about him
You and your children are more important. Why are we so reliant and tolerant of people .WOMEN WAKE UP …yes if has anger issue he should go and get help you are not a slave BUT YOU CHOSE TO BE if your children stay longer around him they will become the same fearful bullies. HOW DO YOU THINK PSYCHOPATHS ARE CREATED …there is a proverb the one at the back follows the walks of the one in front.
Please leave or you will be the RIP if not from him or by him you mental state
Do you want to give up your kids
You will do that one way or the other if you are not careful

Women wake up All this Dependancy on humans for happiness does not work it only brings sorrow and at the end you will lose
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and everything will be added on
I love him does not cut it does he love you …
Please love yourself FIRST.
Pray and seek wisdom

You know in I live him the kids suffer Ladies how about I love my kids …aaaaaaaaah

I was in the exact same position earlier this year except we didn’t have kids together just our own from previous relationships. He was an alcoholic who would be very financially, mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive. He also punched a whole in our bedroom door because of an argument and a few months after that he came home drunk, threw me on our dining table and choked me hard 3 seperate times after I kept kicking him off, he also threw me on our bed and wrestled my phone off me so I couldnt call for help all whilst having a knife on him. I am very very lucky he got distracted and I could grab my 9 year and run to the safety of my neighbours and I’m very great full all I walked away with was bruises on my body and soft tissue damage I’m my throat.Please please please leave, it does not get better it gets worse. You’re strong enough to do this I promise you :heart::heart::heart:

Him punching that wall was your ticket to getting him out of the house. You should have called the cops and documented it. You could have gotten an emergency no contact / restraining order and he would have had 5 minutes to gather his things and leave. That would be followed up by a court date to make it more permanent. My alarm is that you were with him so long and still married him. There had to be warning signs before the marriage. Having grown up in a hostile environment between my parents, you aren’t doing those kids any favors staying in that situation.

I would leave now. And then from a distance without him knowing where your staying I would IF YOU WANT try and work on it. He can take classes and make sure he’s really going to them and not just saying it. Make him go to AA as well. If he really loves you and wants it to work he will understand why you had to do this in the first place. And he will fix himself.

He will not stop with punching the walls, get the hell out of there!! Do you want your children to think that the way he treats you is normal in a relationship? I know why he doesn’t want you to go anywhere! He wants you isolated at home and easier to control. You had better get the hell out of there and please seek counseling to help you find out why you don’t know you deserve better!! And so do your precious kids. My prayers are with you.

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Are you employed? Where’s your family and friends? You need help. There has to be a plan for moving out. Sometimes it can be worse, others take advantage also. Be careful

Leave before he hits you take it from me you dont want to be scared this is how domestic violence starts once it does you can be closer to death than you think and it’s way harder to leave

He sounds narcissistic and sociopathic. My ex was this way when I was about your age. Just leave. It might be a struggle but once the hard part is done you’ll be able to live your life. You will not regret it. Don’t let him gaslight you for the rest of your life

Separate and see if he takes steps to improve. Such as anger management and counseling.

See an Atty “yesterday” & prepare for departure asap and definitely stop, cleaning up his messes.

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He will never change and if he is punching walls he will soon start punching u or the kids get out while u can

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! Take the kids and leave when he is not home. Go to a shelter if necessary!! NOW!!!

Leaving is very dangerous, and some women don’t make it out alive. Carefully plan your exit.

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Been there. That’s just the beginning. I know how hard it is to leave but try to find the strength and get out. If you need / want someone to talk to about it personally who will understand please message me privately.

Get out of there! So many red flags :triangular_flag_on_post: it won’t get better.

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For your sakes? You’re all going to need therapy for your sakes by the time he’s gone. Leaving is for your sake.

If you always do,
What you always did.
You will always get.
What you always got.

Take a day or two to find a battered womans shelter abd get you and your kid out of there before something happens.

Girl if you feel he has anger issues he does an if he punches holes in the wall’s it will be your turn before long, not to scare you, I understand the big :heart: but sometimes you have to think about you an your baby do you drive?? Do you have your own car if so while, he’s at work get what you really want an need birth certificates in any other important documents like that for the baby and you and get the clothes and baby food whatever you really need and pack your car if you have one hopefully you do hopefully you can drive and get out of there as soon as you possibly can do not tell anyone where you’re going not even your mom I mean just go because he will hurt you I was through this I know what I’m talking about I was beat I was sucker punched he beat me in the stomach I lost the baby yeah it was just a horrible marriage and I had a baby at 21 and he cheated on me 6 months after I was married and I was pregnant with the first baby and he told me that he could go have relations with another girl because him and her had a place to go and I wasn’t nothing but effing see you in d and they had a place to go and I couldn’t do nothing about it but cuz I didn’t drive a stick shift that was a long time ago but anyway just please get out of there if you can it’s your safety that you’re thinking about and your little baby please please get out of there if you can don’t even think about how much you love him because I tell you what I think it might be just pity for him just think about it please please please get out of there if you can it will hurt you I know he will I have that gut feeling please be careful sweetheart

Leave while he’s at work. He can’t stop you then

Oh baby u need to leave!!! He sounds really immature!!! Seek out someone to help u leave get police involved if u have to!!!


How did his punching a hole in the wall prevent you from leaving him?

Oooh boy he’s sure controlling you. I’m so sorry for that… you should leave now. Before things get violent


Run!!! Go!! Hold him accountable. Your child will start acting like him soon. Trust me.


Leave now xxx get somewhere safe before it too late xx pure narcissistic zxx

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Leave and show out ur worth. Dont speak to him ever again.

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Jesus. Stop wasting your time and effort. You deserve so much better. Do it for your kids.

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Get rid of him!!! He only cares about himself!!!

You should never be with a person makes you feel worthless.

If you can find any money or anything like that grab it take it from your wallet or whatever you got to do whatever you got to do and then don’t just whatever you got to do I am so worried about you right now I could just scream and cry for you I’m sitting here reliving my past and seeing you going through what I’m going I was going through I’m thinking horrible thoughts I’m hoping you’re not going to go through what I went through please be careful okay bye-bye

You have to love yourself and your kids more than him. He needs help and until he gets it your going to be stuck in that environment. And it’s just not you stuck in that environment it’s also your babies. They see and hear and feel more than you know.


This is not healthy for you or your babies. It’s dangerous and it’s only going to get worse. You need to do what you can to get your ducks in a row and leave. When he’s not around. For your children and yourself.


Oh gosh, girl. It’s NOT going to get better. It’s going to get worse. Please don’t stay and see for yourself. Take what I’m saying at face value. Protect yourself and the kids. Don’t fall into the manipation trap and scare tactics. If you need the police to remove him or help you leave, utilize them. They can help. I don’t know where you live, but there are programs to help support you and protect you and the kids during the transition. They used to call it ‘the battered women’s project’ now it’s ‘hope & justice’ in my town. Call the police department if you have to or search for an abuse hotline in your town. You CAN do this.

Just take the kids and leave.

I’ve been in this position. It took so long to break that cycle and I hate myself everyday that I didn’t do it sooner. They will never change. They won’t get help even if they say they will. The abuse and violence will only get worse and you will feel more trapped the longer it goes on. My ex would punch walls and headbutt walls and abuse me on a daily basis once he knew I would just take him back or go back on my word of making him leave. He smashed my fire place glass and it cost me $700 to fix. Among other damages he did to the house. He treated me like I was just a weak puppet that would never be able to escape him and he got pleasure from knowing that. Don’t let yours do that to you. We had a very young baby in the house being subjecting to it aswell. Don’t do it to your children. It will cause them trauma. You have a very big heart so let your heart choose you and your babies safety and happiness. Not everyone deserve your big heart. You’re very young and it doesn’t matter if he rejects your break up, you need to stand firm with it. Call the police on him to make him leave. Contact women’s help groups to get violence orders put on him or to help you find somewhere else you could possibly go if he won’t leave. It starts out as little things they do but trust me it will get so much worse the longer you don’t get them out of your life! When I was heavily pregnant my ex jumped over the top of me in bed and shook the bed while screaming in my face so hard he broke the bed head off the base, because I rolled over in bed and it wobbled the bed a little and it woke him… another time when I was in bed he came in abusing me while he was butt naked and I tried to stand up for myself and he jumped on the bed really agressively pinned me down with his ass in my face and farted in my face, he left bigger than a hand print sized bruise on my leg just before goin’ into hospital to have our baby from throwing a picture at me. He wrestled me to the ground and smashed my brand new expensive phone when I was trying to call the police on him and told me numerous times no body is going to help me. He spat on me numerous times, he almost killed our 6 week old premmie baby rushing at me with his fists and she was on the floor on a mattress asleep Infront of me and he nearly jumped on her. Didn’t see her there at all. In his own agressive world. Please seek some outside help and get him out of your home. Do it for your children so they don’t grow up thinking that’s how people should treat each other and that it’s ok to be treated that way. You might not be going through what some of us have shared on here but you just don’t know what positions he could put you or your kids in one day. Don’t let him even have the chance to. Cut it off right now.

Instead of walking on eggshells just walk

Get a get out plan save some money if u gotta hide it in the airvents. get organized only take what u need. the rest can be replaced Honey he is toxic and will probably never change. someone that loves you doesnt abuse u mental or physically be hitting u or calling u a bitch or a ho in front of yalls kids. leave 30 min after he leaves work that way you have a good bit before he knows were u are get a burner phone that way he can not track u. Your life and those kids life is worth u leaving and living

File a restraining order and they will remove him from the house. Or pack up and go to a close family/friend and then file a restraining order.

Do NOT let him intimidate & bully you; Do what’s best for you & the kids!!

I’m single and looking!!

U need to leave asap

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Make a plan, slowly pack things and hide them in the car or at your friend’s house. When he’s not home or passed out, get your kids and leave. There are many organizations out there that can help you with a place to stay for a while if you don’t have family. Or try the church. This will never end until you put a stop to it. Your kids and you deserve more than he can give. Love is not always enough. Plus you DO NOT NEED HIS PERMISSION to end the relationship. If you want out, leave. You are an adult and are responsible for innocent lives. You need no ones permission except your own.

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Nothing changes when nothing changes……