My partner makes me feel worthless

Sweetheart you need some help and advice from your health visitor (they can help with emotional needs/mental health issues within the family) child services/gp/council as they offer domestic abuse advice and help …trusted friends,relatives for support.It is clear your husband has anger issues and is controlling. He has no right to reject your decision to end the relationship , you are your own women!.Id suggest you remove the children from the house in the care of trusted people if you wish to try to end the relationship again, and if things get lary call the police to remove him . You dont this and nor do the kids!, you deserve to be happy and safe x

He needs AA and anger management. You should get space and that should make him change if he truly wants to. Work out time for him to see the kids during that process.

You are abusing your kids if you let them see and hear what he is doing to you. Soon they will treat you as he is as thats what you are allowin. There are currently no redeeming qualities in this man. Please go ASAP to families and if cant, a womens shelter. Stand up for you and your kids. Punching walls now will be your face will be next and he will make it your fault. If you leave you have to tell someone else when your leaving and where if you trust them.
Good luck, take care. You can do this. Do not listen to him. As long as he is drinking he cant and wont change

You guys can get couples therapy, then go from there. If he doesn’t change like he mentions, it’s not going to happen. You’re still young and you shouldn’t have to be with someone that makes you feel that way.

Make a plan when he’s at work and go…
Leave him a note saying goodbye.
Been there n done that…
Your life, your rules, you owe it to your children to be free of that.
Unhappy mum, unhappy kids…
Leave at the next chance you get pls :heart:

I’ve walked in those same shoes. It was my family that saved me from the verbal & mental abuse. That was back in 1998, I was married for 10 years by then. No matter what he says & no matter what you do, it will never be good enough in his world. Cut your losses & get out of that relationship. Yes, it’s hard at 1st & he’ll beg you to forgive him & he’ll change, BULLSHIT!! You need to find a friend that will listen when you need an ear & if you want advice, they’ll give it to you when asked. Your situation isn’t healthy for you or your children. Get out!!

He’s abusing you. Leave. Don’t look back. Don’t believe him when he says he’ll change. Just go. You are so young there is still time to find someone who will treat you the with the love and care you deserve. Xx

If honestly … It’s man need to decide here … If he truly loves his woman … Nothing else can matter more than her happiness… in this situation where my girl feel bad near … I would prefer to control and change my behavior and if I can’t do it than best choice would be just go away from her and let her live with smiles … Simple is that

Being treated like that, no you do not love him. he has lost you. It can’t go back. These issues will always be in him.

Get the Hell away from him. It’s just one argument away from him killing you. Get out of there. Make you plan and get out

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You are a young woman and you do not deserve this treatment … he will not change… not for another 15 years at least … if at all… pick up your kids and your self respect and leave… do not spend yours and your kids early life in misery… if you leave with just the clothes on your back you’ll be better off … good luck girl


Time to escape … have a plan, keep it secret & move out. I have experienced similar to you & am happier, healthier, wealthier in knowledge & wisdom to make wiser choices, now! People never change for other people, they only change when they want to improve the quality of their life. As my dr told me, “take better care of yourself as nobody else will!” That’s life, so be it!

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If u took a stone …loved it …talked to it …and put all your energy into its existence …placed it above your needs and wants n put it in a beautiful box …what would you have after all this effort and commitment in ten years time ?x …my point is sometimes however much you put into something if its not appreciated it’s never going to change …I get it …its so hard to break up a family …but what about you ?you count too ?what’s your dreams n hopes ?one day you will b ready to do it for you :two_hearts:

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His behaviour is serious red flags! You need to leave! Loving him is not a reason to stay. Your not loving yourself by staying and most certainly are not showing your kids anything positive and reaching them that it’s ok to be treated like that! And the cycle continues! A marriage is a partnership of 2 people putting 100%!

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I spent 14 years like this and I just left… my only regret is not doing it sooner you got to do it you got to get out it’s not a good situation that’s abuse

It’s hard to feel in the middle. You love him and want it to work. But he make you feel worthless. You have two kids. But do you want your kids to be raised like this. Seeing parents fight. Being treated badly. If you have a daughters they might grow up thinking this is ok. If you have boys maybe they will learn to treat their spouses the same way. Counseling might be good if he will really try. But if it doesn’t work. Time takes a toll on people being treated badly. In the long run if nothing changes it will damage you and the kids. But if you decide to leave. Be prepared. Get a network started open a private bank account start saving. Enlist good friends or family. Maybe lawyer. But get all your ducks in a row if you leave. But if you decide make sure it’s for good. Not healthy for anyone to keep jumping back and forth. Nobody should make you feel worthless and remember your kids are watching on how he treats you. Good luck and God bless you in this journey in whatever road you chose.

Leave. He doesn’t get to reject your breakup. Leave and make a better life for yourself x

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Leave him. Don’t make it an option. You just do it. You pack you and your kiddos up and you find a place of your own to stay or stay with someone who will allow you to be there for a short time, long enough for you to find a job to save for a place for you and your kiddos.

Plan your exit now. Quietly. Start saving money. Arrange where you and the kids will go. Consult a lawyer.

The kids don’t need to grow up with a narcissist. You don’t need to have your self esteem slowly sucked away every day.

But make a plan, because he won’t let go easily.

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Please leave. Find a place to go. If he really loves you he will respect you leaving until he can prove he has gone through anger management and is in regular therapy. And you. Please get help. 22 is so young. You will be more than ok with out him and you can work on yourself. Get into therapy ASAP. Start working on you and breaking the mental chain he has on you. You will be ok if you leave him. There is no doubt about that. If you stay it gets worse. The kids do not deserve to go through a life of eggshells. Nope. Never not in million years should you or your kids live a life of fear and not being able to be free and happy. You owe your kids a good shot at life and staying in the household will destroy who they become as adults. We are all praying for you. Take the leap and go. Have a few family members and a police escort come and help you leave if there is no clean break away option. Don’t do it alone and be sure the kids are already gone and in a safe place until your arrival. Tell as many people as you can about this and be very graphic and open. Do not hide in shame :heart:

My reply is HARSH….but… Uhhhh so what is it you didn’t mention as to why you LOVE this guy? Recall the definition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results”! and N-O-T-H-I-N-G no nothing changes except you feel even worse about yourself! If you have daughters, is he the role model you want them to have or how they should expect to be treated as women? If you have sons, is HE the role model you want them to aspire to be ? GO see a minister, counselor, friend find supports to leave and get out of the abusive control.

Hes a manipulator get rid hun!! Life for you and your kids will be soo much better!! Yourself so young too and you deserve to live a happy life xx get help and advise and get out as this to me rings alarm bells! Xx

You gotta leave I was there too and wasted all my 20s being abused and depressed. It just gets worse if you stay but right when you leave good things just start happening for you.

It’s easy for all of us to say leave we aren’t you and don’t know the love you have for this man. But as outsiders looking in he shows red flags of controlling abusive behavior mix anger issues in and that’s a deadly combo for you and your kids! My advice walk away don’t let him refuse and live a better life there is a million men in this world he needs to step aside and let you find the one that treats you the way you deserve prayers for you hun.

You need to get in touch with someone who can help you. Look on line for “help for abuse victims” and they can direct you with phone numbers or places to go if necessary. Your husband needs help to realize his behavior is not acceptable and he may not get it unless you actually leave before it is too late.

He’s not going to change, he would have already done so…Before you have anymore children…good Luck.

Not sure if your in Canada or the states but if you have a kid and he is being physically violent, even if it’s not directly to you or the kid, MCFD can still get involved. If your worried about the safety of you or your child sometimes that might be the best option. They have tons of resources and would be able to help you.

There are crisis center’s and abuse shelters that take in women and children. Call them, emotional abuse is devastating to you and your children. Think of them if you can’t think of anything else. Don’t let them be damaged adults. He needs help but destroying yourself and the children isn’t the answer. Call after he goes to work or isn’t there explain the situation to them. It’s better to start over even if all someone carries is the clothes on there back than continue to live in fear. That first step is up to you, you are braver than you think. :butterfly:

Honey take it from someone who’s been there that wall punch is the beginning soon it will become you that he hits it will start as a push and exultate from there. Please leave for your baby and your sake.

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The one you’re teaching your children and unhealthy relationship and that’s how women should be treated and how men should behave and we all know that’s not true he’s probably never going to change you’re too young to waste your life in a relationship like that I know it’s very hard to leave I lived in one myself for a long time I thought I was doing right by staying for the kids but it was no fever to my children get out now while you can because the violence only escalates and gets worse and you’re feeling of self worth diminishes more and more and eventually you start to think that’s all you deserve every woman deserves more he won’t change no matter how much you promises save yourself and your children from all the pain in English you’ll go through if you don’t you’re a strong woman whether you know it or not and you can do it you can do it for yourself and for your kids you’ll find the inner strength somehow someway and once you see how well you’re succeeding to continue to do better and better yourself with I’ll start to regain that’s where you feel like you’re worthy and I start to see what I’m sure other people already seeing you it won’t be easy but you can do it

You are in an abusive relationship… You CAN leave and he cannot stop you whether he likes it or not. Make a plan to get out and do not tell him. You deserve happiness and you will never find it with the man you have described.

You’re 22!!! Are you insane?? Run as fast as you can out that door. Yesterday. If he means it about getting help, he’ll do it bc you left. And he needs it… not for you, for himself and the poor woman who is gonna find him next. Know your worth. Your the mother of his children… for heaven’s sake.

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Get out. Plain and simple. If he punched a wall what’s to say the next time it won’t be ur face. As someone who has been in an abusive relationship before just get out. He’s not going to change he’ll say whatever to placate you but it’s just about control. Do what’s best for you and your children. Being happy, healthy and safe is what’s best and that’s not with him.

LEAVE, been there, done it got the tee shirt, he’ll never change.

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I was in your situation for 8 years. Wasn’t aloud to go anywhere or do anything unless it was to take care of the house, dog, or kids. It doesn’t get better. I had to have a friend come over and help me pack up everything my kids and I owned and left while he was at work. I had tried leaving before and he would literally hold me hostage in our house. Even broke my hand by slamming the door on it when I tried to leave. I begged the person living next to us to call 911 but she refused cause it wasn’t her problem. Get out before it’s too late

Get a restraining order , I dated a guy for 6 years and he wouldn’t let me break up with him. I had to get a restraining order on him in order to break up with him since he stalked me all the time…I always took him back. The order was for 2 years . He broke it once to go to a funeral I was at but I called the cops on him. Think he got the point then after that and havent seen him since, 2 years was up in July. You need to get away from him.

Pick up your babies and run! Detail and document his behaviour , get your stuff together , set up a game plan and go! Coercion is still abuse and you don’t need to stand for it, you are young and have your whole life ahead of you.

If he does anger management snd changes then fair enough. If not then more fool you if you stay with this person x

What is your gut telling you? Do you really want your children to be raised in a house where their mother is being emotionally abused? You owe it to yourself and especially your children to get out now or make a plan to get asap. You don’t deserve to be treated this way and it will not get better unless he seeks counseling and puts in the much needed work to become a healthy partner for you and good father/role model for your children. God speed and prayers to you.

This sounds like a dangerous situation for you and your children. I would tell him to attend the anger management classes and that you will need to take some time apart while he focuses on that. If he gets it under control, then you can discuss living together again. If he throws a fit, just take the kids and leave. Marriage is a commitment, but it’s one that needs to be upheld by both parties. If it turns violent and abusive, you need to do what’s best for you and your kids.

What is there to love about him? I’m afraid this says more about your fears and insecurities. You and your children deserve so much more. Seek help.

Girl the next time he get angry he won’t be punching the wall it’s time to move on he then told you that he will change how many time’s but has he don’t let it be to late for something serious to happen

You already know the answer to your questions. You need to separate until he goes to anger management course and a counselor for his controlling behavior. Only return on conditions clearly understood and written down. If you do
not do this this now you will waste the next 20 years of your life being manipulated and miserable because you didn’t put your foot down and demand respect from
the beginning.

Just reading your first sentence get the hell out life‘s too short!! You’ll be sorry you wasted all that time!!!

Best thing you could ever do is put you and ur kids first think what’s best for them and u and leave get out because honey people don’t change qnd it gets worse

I’m so sorry but makiy a quick and quiet exit. Make a report on record as to why you are removing a child due to danger. Do not attempt to confront or even speak with. Get an attorney. Sucky situation and I hope you get through it.

It’s best if leave or things will get worse than they have ready & yes why do you live him if he treats you so bad that is not love but no one can tell you what to it’s upto to make a choice & if you stay it will be nobody’s fault but yours

It’s time to leave. Get you and the kids to safety.

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Get out now before he starts using you for a punching bag.
He needs to work on himself without you being there.

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Take your kids and go this is not fair to them or you. He a spoil acting like a 2 year old. Good Luck next time he goning hit you or your kids

You get your kids and get the heck out of there. You are worth more and you and your kids deserve to be safe.

You lost me at punched a hole in the wall. That is absolutely not okay!! That will be your face soon. Get out now!

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Do t submit your kids to this behavior or they will grow up to expect this to be the way to treat people and will end up accepting this treatment as normal when it is done to them, and it Will because they will think someone who loves you treats you.

Leave run and find better bc you deserve it … if you believe you actually love him then take a break away and maybe that will open his eyes …

Just leave him! It won’t get better! Just think of the damage this situation can make to your kids.

You are in an abusive relationship. Unless he is actively in therapy, quitting drinking & genuinely apologetic for his behavior he is not going to change. He is saying what you want to hear to manipulate you into staying but not actually changing any of his behavior. Come up with a plan, a place to stay, get some cash set aside, while he is at work you and the kids pack up what you truly need and go. After that go and file for divorce.

No way. You are worth so much more! I would find a plan and then leave him. You don’t deserve that!

Definitely get out, take the kids and go to your family or friends. There’s help out there and he will never change.

He is getting more volitile, time door him to go. This isn’t healthy for you and definitely not for your kids

Get out that how much relationship started and it ended in a domestic battery. I’ve been hurt by him many times. It started with wholes in the wall. You are next

ive been in an abusive relation for 9 yrs… 2 kids but our happiness and health is so much more then always be the one trying… i left the dad 1 yr ago and it was the best decision ever … you need to prioritize urself and the kids they need a happy mommy a healthy mommy and see whats life is all about . As much as its hard u need to put u and the kids first

Leopards do not change their spots. From your description he is not a good man and certainly not a good partner. What is your love for him based upon? Is this the way you want your children to grow up? Do you really think this man will make the effort and follow through with being the man you think he is rather than the man he actually is? These are the questions I had to ask myself about the man I married many years ago. When I woke up one morning, many years too late, I knew the answers and got him to leave. I’ve never regretted my decision. I listened to Dr. David Viscott on the radio way back then and he ended his program every day with these words, “ if you are not surrounding yourself with people who support your becoming the best you you want to be, you’re in the wrong place.” It finally got through to me and it was the right decision.

Get out like yesterday. If u stay your children will think that’s how all relationships should be like. Sooner or later he gonna hit you, and maybe even the kids, you really want that? Run.

Get out now before his anger gets out of control & your life will be gone in the blink of an eye :cry:

Girl; this man is ABUSIVE. No amount of anger management is going to change that. He’s controlling and manipulative and you need to sort out an exit plan and if he’s going to be physical then you need to get the police involved and possibly a restraining order. Get out of this mess and fast.

That looks like abuse. No man is worth of your or your children’s suffering. Start making a solid plan. Now. Leave as soon as possible. People don’t change. It will only get worse.

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You need to be careful he is being controlling and abusive please get out before you or or kids get hurt. You don’t want your kids growing seeing their mom get treated that way

I know what your going through and it’s best to talk to your family friends and set your plan up. He’s not going to change and he’s using violence to keep you there it’s controlling and will only get worse so don’t waste your time on him. Talk talk talk to others set a date to leave and have the support ready to go when you do. Leave the prick

You should leave as soon as possible please and take your kids too this kind of person never change do not believe him go get help please you and your beautiful kids deserve more you’re to young to sit and think you can not do anything i hope one day you find a good man to show you what’s love i will pray for you and your family don’t forget your strong please just GEt OUT!

I’m telling you from experience, he won’t change no matter how much you love him. It will worse as time goes on not better and you are subjecting your kids to this as well and it affects them long term so you need to do it for them as well as yourself. I appreciate how hard it is especially at a young age but you need to find a way out. Have a plan, don’t do anything that puts you at more risk. Try and think of people who can help you, people you trust, whether they can give you somewhere to stay or help you actually leave. Work out when the safest time to go is, when is he out of the house for the longest periods of time. If you are able start putting money aside but don’t make it large noticeable amounts and hide it somewhere he won’t look or get someone you trust to hold onto it for you. Work out whether you can get all your stuff out safely while he isn’t there and have somewhere to take it, you may need help with this. If you can’t take everything , take your essentials and anything really important to you as you might not have the option to come back at a later time. After you leave don’t tell him where you are and change your phone number. Keep a diary of what happens with times and dates so if you feel like your safety is at risk at any point you have something to refer back to. Don’t be too scared to call the police if you are at risk but only if you can . It is easy for people to say well why are you still there or just leave when they haven’t been through it. It’s possible to leave but make it sooner rather than later, have a plan and have a plan for after you leave not just for leaving. I wish you well and good luck be brave you can do this but don’t let him know what your planning and if you have to tell someone make sure they will not tell anyone.good luck

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This behavior did NOT just start. You just started noticing it because you expect more from him now that he’s a husband. You’re to blame here as well. 22 with 2 kids? Harsh. I’m not married so I won’t tell you what to do regarding staying married or not but maybe he should go tot therapy? Also the next thing he will do is hit you. It’s coming.

He’s controlling as hell and will say anything to you for you to stay. My opinion is, leave asap. See if a family member can take you and your kids in and get yourself into school or something to get a career going. It’s not gonna be easy, but will be well worth it in the end. GOALS= BE INDEPENDENT AF

Leave now. If he punched the wall now, next, it will be you. Don’t delay any further. Have someone there that you can trust and protect you and start new somewhere else where you will be happy and not being afraid to be deaf the next morning.

You can still love him AND leave him. He is your partner, not your kid. You are not responsible for his mental and emotional health, he is. If he subconsciously chooses to go downhill, why would you go with him? And drag your kids with you? Hear me now, what you are experiencing is called abuse. Punching a wall is as bad as punching your body.

Get out, he’s not worth it! You have your life to live just do it before it’s too late !!!

Leave he is not going to change and things will just get worst, you don’t want your kids to grow in that toxic environment. Leave before is too late find your support group friends, family etc

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I’m 24… and let me tell you if he really wanted to change he would. I’ve been with my husband 10 years now married for 6 months. My husband ha da drug problem and we had two DV occurrences because of it, angry as he could ever be. I left, he did the same thing started punching walls just being angry. But I STILL LEFT I was tired of hearing the same thing oh I’ll change I’ll do this I’ll do that. We were separated for a year, he went to Anger management even took a DV class and April will be clean 4 years. If he truly loves you and truly wants better he will do what he says. Do better for you and your babies love :heart: they can feel that, I know it’s so hard to leave the one you love but always remember if it’s truly meant to be it will be. The way he’s acting can turn into something ugly real quick, and possibly lead to death. I hope to god and pray it never does and that god watches over you and your babies and protect you. Your probably thinking he’ll never do that, but you can never know with an angry mind.

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Your self esteem is priceless. Don’t let anyone take that away. Author and Founder of the #metoomovement, Tamara Burke says, “Unkindness is a serial killer.”

You need to leave for your own sake and the kids! You deserve happiness honey! Go get it!

Abuse is never ok. And he is being abusive. Reach out for help if needed but unless he gets help and wants to change this will never work out, at least you likely won’t be happy. .

Not a good situation for you or your children. Plan your departure and leave. Let him know that if he sees a therapist and works on his issues, then you will go to a marriage counselor with him and talk about reconciliation and what must change. Leave.

At 22… woman you better pack your dam things and leave…you talking about love… hmmmm you have your God given life ahead…you will be waiting all your life in vain for him to change unless you want him kill you thats fine!!!stay… :scream::scream::scream::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man::running_man:run…like a bat from hell

Look at it thru your child’s eyes. Is this the way you would like them to grow up

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You need to leave. But by the sounds, you need to plan it prior. Start to build your money (if in aus there is a special payment you can get to help you prepare for this that he won’t know about) contact some DV places and get supports in place ready. When you know your going to leave, have the police, friends and family notified and even ask someone to be there with you when your ready to leave. Yes you definitely need out but he sounds like he isn’t going to let you do it easily so plan it, prepare for the worst so you’re safe.
Please please be safe when you do, get the supports mentioned. What he is doing is abuse, it is not ok.

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Why are you with this man ? Ask yourself this question! And for what reason are you still with him and how on earth can you love a person like him , if I was you I would run like hell while you still got the chance before it’s to late and you can’t think much about your kids to be staying in a toxic relationship all your kids are gonna remember a bad childhood so do the right thing by getting yourself out of the hell hole your bringing them up in , poor little sods I feel sorry for the pain that your putting them through

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Oh honey get out go to a women’s shelter with your kids. File for divorce and change jobs, cities and your last name. File a restraining order and get your permit to carry. You are your own best defense…it takes cops on average 20 minutes to an hour to respond depending on what city you are in. He’s just beginning…he could try to kill you. Be there done that. Go while you can and the kids know they are protected.

Leave he will never change it will always be like that I know still in it 39 years later

Walk away… thats not living and he will never change unless you walk away first. If he wants to change for you then he will let you can’t do that while you are living with him.

Put him an end if he doesn’t want to start a Biblical study with the Jehovah’s witnesses. That will make hom change forever.

He got to go to anger management now. If he dont go in 15 days, plain B find a place to go say nothing to him about it act just like it’s another day. When he go to work move out. And am talking out of state not with friends somewhere nobody no you. Change phone number bank accounts…

This is exactly how it started with my ex,it ended with me having a broken nose,broken cheek,dislocated jaw and a concussion-because I was complaining about getting up early to take him fishing on my only day off. A week later my 9yr old son stopped him from killing(he was choking me) I finally got a restraining order against him,which I had in place for 15yrs until our son turned 18. He promised to do anger management too,I even dropped him off at them every week for a month-until I discovered that he was going in&as soon as I left so did he. PLEASE-find a way out! If not for yourself then for your kids,I told myself that they never saw him hit me so I was protecting them,I found out after I left that they were laying awake in bed listening to every nasty word&every hit and I will never forgive myself for putting them through that.

As someone said talk to your family and friends about what is going on. Tell them that you need to leave. This way they have your back and they can all quickly help you leave.
Then when you do leave text your husband that you love him but you and the kids can’t live in that type of environment. If he does want to get back together he has to be willing to seek help for himself and see a marriage counselor.

He’s not going to change, you and the kids deserve better

They never change. The violence and anger will probably escalate. I suggest you get out while you can.

Nobody MAKES you feel anything! Based on the image you have of yourself, you might agree or disagree. It’s easy to blame others for your sadness or anger. But putting on your Big Girl Pants will put you in charge of your emotions and feelings.

I think it’s time to leave. Why would you marry him with all these red flags!? Best of luck to you. You deserve much better.

Leave quietly yet quickly or you’ll be just another story on the news.

I was in a similar situation, just a few years younger though. Was seeing someone that was a heavy drinker from 17-19, he had a fun side though and was sweet. I loved him. But he wouldn’t give up drinking. Along with his diabetic medication it was literally driving him insane. Said he’d never hurt me, would always punch or throw a hammer right next to me. He would kill my pets infront of me. Said he’d change, never did, just got worse. One of my friends who is now my fiance told me I was going to get killed if I didn’t get out now. One day he decided a sledgehammer was the way to go and chased me out of our second story apartment after I had to break through the locked door. Chased me to my car, put some dents in it along with slamming the door on my ankle. I was in the process of gathering all my things when he came home from work early, he burned most of my stuff shortly after me fleeing like my baby book. So please get all of your important things out without making it seem obvious or you’ll be upset about it for years to come. You’ll also be super upset if you choose to stick around and something happens to you or your kids.

Stay safe and best wishes.

Go discretely to see a solicitor for advice he is verbally abusing you leave everything behind and it will work out for you in the end x

Please get out of that house… you and your children deserve sooo much more… your husband is meant to pick you up not push you down.

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Take it from someone who’s been there LEAVE! It’ll only get worse and more empty promises will get made. He has to want to get better for himself. It sounds like he’s an alcoholic and needs serious help. But I would definitely latch on to your family and loved ones and leave as quickly as you can and if he chooses to get help at some point you can go from there. Do it for your well being and your kids. Either way I hope it all works out! I’ll be praying for you :pray:t3::pray:t3::pray:t3: