Sounds like he resents being the only one bringing in the money and then being asked to do things at home too.
What relationship you don’t have one it should be 50/50 for the same goal
1 Like
Right maybe he don’t care bout family things, slow down and see the reaction or say you should work in the business too!!!???
Write down all the stuff you do in a day at home n if his wife
wants something to eat tell him to make it himself n if he complains about not having clean clothes tell him to do his own laundry stand up to him
2 Likes
This right here is why I left my ex . Just wait until you find a real 50/50 partner. It’s life changing!
Not sure how the relationship is fine if you do all outing separately. I think you need serious talk time with him
You call him your “partner” and not your husband. So he is demonstrating by his lifestyle that he doesn’t want to be a husband to you or father to your daughter (barely), and never has wanted to.
You are certainly not silly wanting these things. This is what most women want in a marriage.
Try some tough love. Stay calm but stop doing anything for him. No cooking, no laundry.
If he wants to know why, tell him he’s a partner not a husband and until he starts acting like a husband, he’s getting “partner treatment”. Don’t explain any further. He he badgers you just repeat “ this is not working for me”. Start looking for a job and a place to go, and if he doesn’t improve, leave. You won’t be missing much.
You are a single parent is it his house or yours or a rental does he pay the bills
This “relationship” would not work for most. Why are you letting it work for you?
1 Like
This. Has been going on 10 years? I would go for live with it!
1 Like
He needs to be a better father ad give more thoughts to what you do. You need to have a say in the business if you both own it
So sad for your daughter very selfish of him im sorry to say.
3 Likes
When I plan things with my side of family, I always tell my husband what we’ve planned and say, “I’d love for you to join us, but if you can’t, I understand.” He does join us sometimes, if it doesn’t involve an overnight stay.
But if he’d rather not, I go on my own. I would rather go alone than have him ruin a visit with my family by having an “I don’t want to be here, but she insisted I come” attitude. We were about 40 years old when we married and I was used to going and doing what I wanted. It works for us, but we don’t have children. I understand you wanting him to have a better relationship and join you and your daughter more often. Sometimes forcing the issue just makes it worse, though, so choose your battles. Maybe hearing you and your child discussing what you did or funny things that happened will make him want to join in the next time. My husband won’t do housework indoors, but he does do yard work and snow removal, so I don’t complain. Plus he is a better cook than I am, so it all balances out for us. I wish you luck in getting him to join you more often.
You can’t change him,trust me. Married 40 years, so I know 1st hand. Good luck.
1 Like
Full time job does not absolve anyone from basic parenting
3 Likes
Prayer. Start praying for the Good Lord to help you and him. We serve a mighty God. He is able.
u must be very lonely…this is not a relationship!!
1 Like
Just do your housework and quit complaining
4 Likes
You guys have your own business so why not just work there and hire in someone to do the cooking and cleaning. Then when off work you two can parent together. Sorry though I smell he is a rat and very well may already have another friend to play with.
You asked for advice…get a good, decent, caring partner!
Just be happy that he take care of everything. He does a lot.
Relationship wise you are not fine…he’s selfish
My husband worked a full time job 6 days a week and still found time to help around the house
1 Like
Divorce, and find a man that is the kind of man u want.
Hang a Honey Do List? Good Luck… Don’t nag if it isn’t perfect.
You and daughter need to leave him until he smartens up!
Get out of the living arrangement you have!
Tell him he either starts helping or you’re done. Teach your daughter how she should be treated. Maybe he can take 1 day a month to have a free day and you can alternate so you can too. Everyone needs a break. My now late husband used to pitch in right away when he got home whether I was working or not
3 Likes
He is old fashioned…talk with him.
1 Like
LOL@ relationship you are fine. You’re not fine. You’re single.
1 Like
get a job outside the home, then he can’t run his mouth
you do not need to be married to be alone
Counselling?? From a therapist that maybe knows what she’s talking about
Don’t do. Don’t waste the years
That will not change. Believe me.
My ex is the same way he dosent even take our child who is about to be 11 anywhere unless I go also to take care of anything he wants
Couples Counseling is in order!
“Relationship wise”, you are not fine.
1 Like
Councilor is in your future
1 Like
Tell him your full time job ends at 5 pm too. 
Maybe you should get a job and work outside the home everyday too. Then you can expect him to pitch in at home. I really can’t imagine there is really that much cleaning to be done because you have one school age child and the only one home during the day. I worked full-time, cleaned, did laundry, made dinner and washed dishes by hand, mowed the grass. There was a time I washed clothes in an old wringer washer and hung them to dry on clothes line, never had the LUXURY of dishwasher and used a pushmower with no motor. I had 4 kids and there was 27 months between the oldest to the 2 youngest (twins). So I kind of think you are doing what a SAHM does and yes I think you are being silly and selfish.
1 Like
Look up Narcissism and see if he fits the bill…
I divorced this same man after the affair I discovered, (remember for every rat you see there’s 20 you don’t), gaslighting, abuse and a lot of regret. You will continue, just like I did, until you realize you and more importantly your daughter deserves better! 0 % chance he’ll change. I just took my daughter on a camping trip and swimming in the lake just 2 hours away. I kept asking myself, why didn’t we do this with the older kids. I was waiting for permission from my partner to partner and parent with me. He was in a relationship with his job, our business and going out of town afford him cover for extra-curricular activities.
Before I judge this question, I would like to hear his side of the story. Often people are on different pages of the story without understanding the other’s needs. Either way, I would suggest couples therapy so they are working together because they have a child.
This reminds me of my Ex RIP, Mother-In- Law😥 Telling me if her bum ass lazy son, didn’t want to help w our 3 small kids. It was my wifely duty, to make sure, I was the one responsible, for our 3 children. Cus he was the only one working. Going back n forth for a few years. I left this pathetic ass mama’s boy😝. I never looked back, n I can say now I made the smartest choice ever😏
He sounds like a slug. He is showing you his true colors— pay attention closely. You also need to see financial statements, bank records, credit card statements. If these are sent to the business that’s a HUGE red flag!!!
Stop doing his dishes,cooking for him, doing his laundry…see how fast he starts helping out. As for family things and outings start staying away for a few nights leaving him not only in charge of the household chores but maybe he might actually miss you.
You don’t even have a real relationship. You have someone living in the house who pays the bills. He’s not participating as a parent or much of a spouse. He leaves everything to you. Why are you still together? Convenience? Habit?
Listen as you stated ,he does the family business .in today’s business it could be harder to keep things going .for a man that doesn’t want to show stress maybe you should give him a break …you run a household with I believe 1 child and a daughter at that ,so you have a little helper at home .and at your own words he does things as a family at the house and shows love …but wait you don’t go to work. You have all day to do the house work …one response you got was don’t give him any love …cut him off …very stupid advice …why don’t you get a job .the stress of waking up driving in traffic. Dealing with the public ,running the day to day operations of your business…oh yes I’m sure you pay the bills ,shop ,and have all you need when it comes to this …so you put your husband down on Facebook because you want help and opinions from total strangers …you my dear need help …he isn’t cheating ,he’s home ,he shows love to you and his daughter .he pays the bills ,you have help at home as long as you are a responsible parent and showing your daughter the same love …sounds like only you have the problem and maybe he should cut you off
Sounds like he is embarrassed to be out with you and daughter. Maybe… he’s got more going on outside the home, like another life. Leave.
1 Like
So, no disrespect, but what exactly is so wonderful about your relationship?
This relationship isn’t fine. This relationship is going to blow up. It is a recipe for disaster.
I’d be a little more involved in the financial side of the business . . . .
1 Like
Explain to him that his daughter will resent him because he was never a part of her life
He is an idiot!! One say he will regret all this, hopefully soon
Divorce his ass and take your daughter with you
Kick him to the kerb
Get another partner!
Sheila Barry you are totally right.
Another spoiled selfish child pretending to be a whatever!
1 Like
Its like having your cake and eating it to.
1 Like
He’s a lazy prick and thinks your a door mat…. What do you do? Burnt food dirty washing chuck inthe bin tip all his stuff down the toilet…. When he starts helping give him a sticker chart no yelling or screaming 
sound crazy it’s not
Having a baby rarely fixes a broken relationship. Rather, children tend to draw attention to and highlight existing problems. Good marriages don’t just happen. They exist because of a commitment by the husband and wife to work thru issues. it sound like there is very little togetherness in your relationship. I would start by seeing if you can get an agreement from your partner to engage in couples counciling. If not, start untangling your lives and assets.
1 Like
Wake up and let him know how you feel.
Just a BIT wrong??? Sounds like A LOT wrong.
Relationship wise you are ok??
Sounds like he’s absent
It’s like going to the hardware store looking for bread
Look up symptoms of ADHD.
When he come Home you leave. Make sure you have dinner for them. And let them be together. I think you need time for yourself too. Find excuses: your have a headache, you need to buy something, or simply you need to be alone. Maybe they will have fun together.
And make a rule: 1 day of week it’s family day: play together, go somewhere together….
2 Likes
Start off the conversation with something you’re grateful for him for. Things he does well that youd like to continue. Then say your concerns and come up with a compromise or solution together. Suggest letting him pick the activities, or suggest a daddy daughter activity he might like. Phrase it like it’s for the kid, not you. Because it is. End the conversation with another compliment. This doesnt need to be an argument, but an honest and open conversation about your concerns will keep a marriage healthy.
Do you go to his job and help him do it, your a stay at home mom your job is the house why do you need help
Would you rather a man that don’t work and is absent completely from his kids life? Seems to me you have it made so don’t take it for granted
Seriously, if you have to force him to show interest, fuck that, not worth it…at all. I feel this.
Wow this is a tough crowd. I don’t think many understand this unless they are or have lived it. Paying all the bills and going to work is not a right to treat your partner like the maid. So his day of work ends at 5 and hers is from sun up to sun down?
1 Like
I feel that I can relate with you to some extend, I definitely use the I need to run to the store, get my nails done, do some alone time. I would start with that, it’ll make him interact with her. Also, do family Sunday’s go somewhere fun, let him pick a place one week. Your daughter can pick the following week…and so on. Or fun Fridays order pizza, wings, again ask him what he wants to order and play board games.
I know it should come from them to do this but they won’t lol almost like a kid…I do a lot of the “do you prefer to help me with the dishes or folding clothes” 
yes he does help. Good luck 
this is not okay . he needs to step up .
Simple step up or see ya.
1 Like
I really wish women would stop thinking that they are silly for expecting men to act like adults.
4 Likes
Is this the relationship you’d want for your daughter? We are their models for what is right/wrong… What is acceptable/not acceptable.
If you wouldn’t want it for your daughter… Why is it ok for you? 
What relationship? He only works 7 hours a day! It’s his daughter too. Sounds like he only needs you to keep up on housework and taking care of your child.
2 Likes
The husband sounds like a fn teenager
This is how my ex husband use to be too. But I also worked full time and did it all. We would switch watching our daughter until he would sleep instead of watching her so I had to put her in school. It’s very stressful situation but you are not wrong for wanting these things. I use to want him to be more involved and getting him to be more involved was like pulling teeth. I finally decided to leaving and live a much happier life. Good luck!
So while its possible that the folks are ALL just changing completely after marriage (I guess), more likely WE chose them knowing the way they were but hoped they would change after we were married, had children etc… I agree with those who say you don’t have to stay and live with it, but maybe own a bit of responsibility for your choice in a partner.
You’re already basically a single mom with extra baggage
I’d dump the mf straight up
It’s his kid too he needs to step up
I was a stay at home Mom. My husband worked full-time six days a week I did all the house work took care of the kids he took care of outside we always did everything together as a family whether it was a party soccer football we did it together this for you could be a long-term problem
2 Likes
Sounds like he is first of all selfish and lazy second he sounds like he is jealous of your daughters attention. He wants you all to himself except when he wants to do his own thing alone. If I were you I would seriously consider whether your relationship with him is worth not really having a good family life!
6 Likes
You said, “relationship wise we are fine…” You need to listen to yourself. You are part of a relationship that you are greatly disappointed in. See a family counselor yourself first to get ideas how to approach him about these things. Only You can decide how hard you will pursue fixing this family so all are happy. Ultimately, you cannot change someone else’s behavior but you can make it clear to him how you will and won’t live your life.
4 Likes
If financial is all he provides, well you get that anyway via child support. I’d tell him I needed a partnership with him at home. If he doesn’t feel a need to be I his wife and kids lives, maybe he would be happier single. With hold the play time after the kids are asleep and let him ponder on that!!
PS A relationship is built with a mom and dad. So your relationship is not fine.
6 Likes
My parents had 9 kids. My dad sometimes worked 3 jobs. Leaving in the morning before we were up. And coming home after we were in bed! Dad was a great provider. He also did his share around the house. And us older kids also helped out a lot. When a weekend came and dad was home. We’d go to see my nannie and my mom’s family! We have a big family. Dad never complained. Never! They would rent camps for the season. Dad went to work from there!
1 Like
If you are not a team, then it’s not a good relationship. If a man wants a woman and children, he needs to be there and share in everything. Period! That’s my sixpence
2 Likes
Did i write this? This was my life! I told him if i wanted to be a single mom Id get a divorce. Well, it got worse. He stopped coming home at all when he found other fun things to engage in and we couldnt join bc the kids had to be in bed AND they werent child friendly activities anyways. Then he met someone during those activities and AM now a single mom for real and its the BEST!
1 Like
My husband and I lived together for 40 years ,until he past.We never set rules who does what It just all fell into place because we loved each other and want to help each other get through each day.We knew what we did best and applied it’s called compatability.Anthing less is what you call settling.Wake up and smell the coffee!!
You need to sit and have a conversation with him. Your child needs to do things with her dad and you. I understand he is tired but he can make a little time for his family. Many men work all day and come home and do things with the children
The distribution of duties needs to be ironed out. As a working woman and provider I resented coming home and having to do that work too. Not that I didn’t do my own laundry etc but I saw it as two jobs and we could even both work a s both share the housework but if I was the sole provider then I didn’t want to be responsible for the home too.
Your concerns about your daughter are different. It is t he doesn’t do his share he isn’t parenting with you. That is the conversation to have and then negotiate the upkeep of the house.
My so works 70 hours a week. I am a sahm as well as a student. Well he may not do much house work he does help around the house qhen I need it. We also do everything as a family. Every time we go do something it’s all of us. He would have it no other way. You need to have a real sit down with him. He is missing out on your daughter growing up.
What’s your priorities? Mine would be family time. As a stay home Mom it’s ok in my opinion that you do the housework etc. I would expect/ demand him to have family time. You teach people how to treat you. Now is the time to start
The problem isn’t him it’s you! Why would YOU put up with this! Get a job and your own bank accounts for goodness sakes! Tell him you want to pay bills together ( he will flip out) why would you stay with a man that doesn’t want to be a Dad? Your little girl will grow up thinking there’s something wrong with HER instead of him being a jerk! Your first responsibility is to her not him! And you think your relationship is just fine! Smell the roses!
I think you just need to sit down and have an honest heart to heart talk with him even if it’s just the two of you and you go out for a date night you need to tell him that you want him to be part of the family. I was a stay-at-home mom for many years and my husband thought nothing of coming home and helping me if I needed it I mean he just was that type of a man I didn’t even have to ask him. We eventually had our own business we also had four children very close in age. Quite frankly your husband sounds like a very selfish man he acts like he’s the only man who ever went to work and if he thinks being home everyday with just children he should have tried it sometime
Does he go places with his friends? If so he is selfish. He may feel he does not fit in with family or ppl you are with. I think. maybe a counseler would be helpful. I know it may be impossible to get him to go . But try. Been there and still there.