He used to cook for me one of those nights, we would spend Saturday night having a date night In as we have kids together and no reliable childcare.
But the last 12 months he would come home, be on his phone the entire time, talking to others on Facebook. Watching TV, and “Resting his eyes” on the sofa…
He Would hardly sleep in our bed, his excuse was hes doesn’t sleep well! So he would sleep on the couch.
We would only have s@x if I initiated it, claiming he was tired or he liked me to do this… this dwindled down to once a month if I was lucky.
So yesterday I receive an anonymous message saying he was cheating on me… this is not the first time!.. so I rang said girl and him and they both denied it. Of course…
I pushed it aside and planned to have it out face to face on fri.
However, this morning I was looking for some pictures in his photos online and seen he had taken another lass and his son away without asking for his daughter… He would never have said anything if I’d not seen. Also pictures of 2 younger lasses all dressed up in skimpy outfits…
We were supposed to all go away together a few weeks ago but he was in such a shitty about going saying we couldn’t afford it, yet I was paying for it all. Now I understand why!
His response when.asked was yeah so what?!
I feel hes been enjoying his single life, and his new friends are a younger and single…he likes to be big dog on campus and craves that attention from those around him… I feel.he likes the whole no responsibility, no kids, keeping his wages and not having to send some towards the house. So the kids and I would go without because my wages would have to pay for food and to get us to work and school.
Hes not a young lad, he loves his kids but I feel he loves that life more… he was verbally abusive, only physical once…he was calling me miserable, of I asked him to pls put his home away I’dmaybe get am hour if that…
I was mean, saying I was angry all the time and causing arguments over the smallest of things if I asked him to help me out… wash a few pots in the morning or after tea! Its not his mess he would say!
I’ve spent the day crying, I did try to get him back and I know hes gone but it doesn’t stop the hurt… I’m not sure in love with him but I do care about him a lot. I’ve felt this way for a while but I stayed for our daughter. I don’t know what im looking for here I think I just needed to get it written down and out of my head
Don’t ever let a man have that much control over your feels - if he doesn’t care then you do the same - —you are worth more then he can give you and let the next man show you that
You dodged a bullet honestly now go love yourself and your children n think positive for your future. File child support against him too he doesn’t get out of financial obligation n if u want him to see the child then file for custody also. But u dodged a bullet honestly
It’s just time to leave and move on honey… it will hirt, and for damn sure suck for awhile. But soon itll just be you and your baby girl and a happy life together. Best of wishes to you
Find counseling, get together with your friends and family. Basically find healthy places to receive comfort and help moving on. Break ups are tough, but this is best for you and your kids.
Hon, if he has been acting off for that long he’s been “gone” longer than you think. You should see this as dodging a bullet. You can now make yourself and children happy without him. You don’t need him to be happy, especially if he was abusive, even once, in the past. It’s going to hurt for awhile but in the long run you’ll find life to be better than it was without him and all the stress and pain he brought you.
Why the hell would you try and get him back.
Its very clear that he wants to have his freedom.
Let him be.
Trust me. No man is better than a lying cheating one.
Sounds like a jerk. I’d leave, he’s already checked out on you anyway.
Only physically abusive once?! Yeah, that’s one time too many.
Sounds like you’re unhappy, get away from him.
You’re going to be okay. Everything is going to work out. You’re doing the right things. Its hard to get over someone you had planned aigr with in your head. The best advice I can give is start making new plans and focus on them. It makes it easier. Get a hobby. Take care of yourself. Take this time to glow up. And don’t take him back. You and your children deserve better, and it will come in due time, if its meant to. For now, you are all they need. Do your best by them and yourself. If youre not sure if you still love him - if you are not positively sure- then you would be settling to stay with him. Allow yourself and your life to grow, to reach a higher potential. Allow yourself to find someone whom there is no question about. And the first person that should be is yourself. Love and nurture yourself for a while. It will be alright.
There’s one phrase that has gotten me through this kind of heartache- not just romantic partners but “friends” also and at times, family. “Never make someone a priority who considers you an option”. Remind yourself of this because you DESERVE more than to be someone’s afterthought.
Allow yourself time to grieve- 8 years is a long time. It’s ok to cry but it’s not ok to get stuck there. Find support in friends and family. Do things FOR YOU- things YOU enjoy. Write! You mentioned getting it out and writing can be GREAT therapy. I write “letters I will never send”. I actually have a folder on my laptop called that. I have found that to help me even with the “smaller” issues- when someone does something that hurts so I can get it out and allow myself to move on from it.
I’m not at all surprised that you tried to get him back. For almost a decade, he’s been your love and your partner. You weren’t trying to get back the person he became. You were trying to get back the person he WAS- the one you fell in love with. That person is gone. You need to mourn that. Then you need to find peace and happiness within yourself, your kids and those who make YOU a priority. Those are the ones who DESERVE YOU, your loyalty and your love. Heartache sucks but it’s temporary. Real love is forever
Move on I know it’s going to be hard but you have a daughter that looks up to you to see what a healthy relationship looks like. What would you say to her if she was in the same place as you? If my hubby ever hit me I’d be hit him with a frying pan and he knows it.
Narcissistic behavior. Run. Save yourself and your kids!
Life is too short to spend it miserable, chasing a person who is not interested. Move on and do something to make YOU feel good.
Change the locks. Do what makes you happy. Plan a trip with your kids. Stop caring how he feels.
Bc he definitely isn’t bothered by hurting you.
Why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you. He is abusive, physical, mental and financial. Of course he is living the single life. He’s not living with you. The moment he left should have been then end
What a blessing! Let that dude go and go live your best life;
He was physically abusive to you once and that is enough to say no and be gone. Be glad he is gone, you don’t need that loser in your life. Find someone else who you deserve.
Stop trying to bring GARBAGE back. Would you want your kids in that kid of crappy relationship, being treated like garbage.
LET HIM GO!!
Girl run. Not sure what your trying to hold onto…you’ve been single for months! Time to make it official
Please don’t act like you cant live without a man! Have some dignity or self worth atleast! 
This gives you room for real love, whether it be a happier single family home with your babies or a partner who adores you. You will get through and life will be better for it. Best of luck on your new journey. 
I’m sorry but he DOESN’T love you NOR the children!!! If he loved them he would contribute to their care!
You deserve a better life, and you deserve someone who appreciates you & will be present in your life.
It’s okay to be hurt. It will get easier and you will see the difference in your life. Apply for child support.
You have no idea how long he’s been cheating, how many partners, or how safe of sex he was having, and you would like to get it written down? well his deception put your health and possibly your life in peril and thats on top of the abusive behavior
Take it as you’re giving him to the less fortunate
Choose you! Choose to find happiness for yourself and your family. He no longer wants to participate in a home he wants to be in the streets let him be and find yourself some peace.
You deserve soooooooo much better.
Think of the example you are setting for your daughter. Your showing her that abuse is ok
kick him out and start a new life for u and the kids it will take awhile but u will b better of
Tell him come get his shit, file for full custody and child support and find someone who deserves you. It’s ok to cry miss him and hurt so you grieve your relationship then you get up and rebuild your life and when he crawls back don’t even open the door.
Definitely leave with your kids.
I’m sure you are hurting, but when he left he did you a favor. It will get better . Pray for strength n take it a day at a time.
This sounds so much like my ex. I’ll tell you this; after I took my boys and started over. Life was so much better, better for myself, my boys, financially…. everything!!! Best of luck!!!
Oh hunny girl my heart breaks for u. You said it your self your not inlove with him and sounds like u haven’t been for a while. Its just a shock you have been used to this man being there for 8 years and now he’s not thats what hurts. You need to take some time out for yourself and find you again find somthing u enjoy and focus on u. Don’t worry about what he’s doing he sounds like a waner anyway he’s a grown ass man with a child if he wants to go act like a child let him be i mean how embarrassing for him bet he thinks he’s real cool too 
Time to go do u boo live ur best life and FUK HIM
At the moment the hurt is raw…cry more of you need to hunny…get that hurt and anything else out your system “because your allowed to”, once done to take a long hot bath or a shower and get into something nice and snug…watch a bit of tv or something and once those moments have gone of feeling shit…"girl you get back up and dust your self off and say “fuck him” hes in the past for a reason and if he’s cheated on you already than you haven’t got that to come "someone else has. Now you get out there and hold your head high…DO NOT ALLOW HIM BACK.
You deserve so much more as for him keeping his wages no way his kids he needs to pony up the money to help you support them.
He is attempting g to keep up with a younger crowd something you mumma don’t need. His loss have a good cry and then pick yourself up and hold your head high you have done nothing wrong
He did you a favor let him go
GOOD. Now you can start a new chapter in your life. Do not accept this bs behavior from any other man! you’re worth more than that