Am I wrong I haven’t been well with a virus a splitting headache. A few nights ago my partner was talking to his Sister on his phone on loud speaker He was drunk she was drunk and they were screaming at each other I thought my head would burst. I was lying on the couch watching tv. I asked him to please turn the volume down he told me to go to bed . Fast forward a couple of days I am still very unwell and asked him please if you make your calls in Sunday please don’t have them on loud speaker please as the noise really hurts my head. he usally makes them in the lounge . He drinks and talks so loud . He got so bad slamming doors yelling swearing calling me all the names under the sun. saying I am nagging nag nag nag. Slamming the glass doors over and over again while talking to his adult son saying I hope it hurts my head. The way the house is laided out I couldn’t get away from the noise. I feel so unwell haven’t eaten for days feel very weak and I see my partner as I 58 year old man having a tantrum and when I said after I was trying to state my needs he’s started yelling I don’t want to hear it over and over. I am so tired of this behavior. am I wrong?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner was slamming doors when I was sick
Red flags like a Mofo.
He sounds old enough to not throw tantrums
If you slam doors… you’re not old enough to talk like an adult.
He sounds like a dick
Find a new place cause this sounds crazy
Time to get your own place and live in Peace. This man has no respect nor love for you.
Ew lol red flag. Idk how u could even stay in a toxic environment like that
Get rid of him (mic drop )
He clearly has no compassion and he doesn’t care about your needs. Kick that to the curb…
Go into your Room and shut the Door and turn off the Lights and drown out the Noise. You need also need a reusable face mask that you can Stick in the freezer and re use it I have 3 of them and I love mine they help my headaches alot
Your not wrong he’s horrible
If you feel this sick still you need to go to the dr. It maybe be something more serious than a cold etc. As far as your immature partner he would be kicking rocks or i would be. It sounds like he doesn’t give 2 craps about your feelings at all sick or not. If he is doing this now I’m sure it’s not the first time. Get rid of him
Nope when he leaves the house lock him out
I would be considering finding a new place to live and leaving that SOB. You did nothing wrong there and he was treating you one complete trash
Run don’t walk, if he treats you like that when you are so unwell, how does he treat you when you are well, what a nasty SOB, leave girl, where is your self worth
I’m not sure how long you’ve been with him,or why you would question whether being treated like that is wrong ,but yes it is! You shouldn’t have to beg for respect or sympathy from someone who genuinely loves you😔 don’t waste the rest of your life waiting for him to change or you’ll never experience a man that can
Why are you still with this man? His actions clearly show that he does not love you.
You are not wrong. Sounds like he has an issue with alcohol. I would record what hes doing and show him when hes sober how big of an ass he is when hes drunk. I’m sorry, nobody deserves to be berated especially when they’re sick and especially by someone under the influence. Things could go south quick… hugs
Typical alcoholic. Time to choose what you want your future to look like bc it only gets worse.
Not at all. You need to run and never look back. This man has no respect for you at all. You deserve so much better.
You must feel like he doesn’t care about you because it really sounds like he doesn’t. Instead of being quiet because you’re not feeling well, he was noisy on purpose and hoped it would make you feel worse. He’s a jerk. I’d get away from him.
That is abuse love! Run for the hills!
Get a room for a few days
No you’re not wrong. He is being a jerk
Why do so many women question whether they are wrong or not?
Go to a friend/families home and stay there. When you’re feeling better you can think about how you can move on with your life without him.
Leave…life is to short to be miserable or treated like that!
An irritate man creates an unsafe environment
If you would like some support there is a group called “domestic abuse support group for women” a lot of them are way more understanding!
Def toxic behavior…you deserve so much better. Go with your gut…don’t ignore red flags. I pray you find a way away from him. I’ve cut so many people out of my life. I suffer with fibromyalgia and diabetes. If anyone makes my symptoms worse it’s automatic I cut them out of my life. But I sympathize with you for I am in a similar situation. Have been for 5 years. But I won’t give up hope that one day I’ll get away and have my peace. I hope you do too♥️
You’re not wrong. Your feelings are valid. He sounds like a shit person. I hope you’ve be able to get something down and are feeling better. It sounds like it’s reoccurring behavior, if things don’t get better I would seriously suggest consider leaving the non conducive relationship.
I’d be in my home (yep packed up and left) in peace and quiet by now. I will never ever let a man ever treat me this way ever again in my life. Once bitten twice shy and I tried with 3 men, NEVER AGAIN!! The last one tried to tell me how I should peel effing eggs
This shouldn’t even be a question!! What kind of partner does this instead of taking care of you?? You sound like you should be in the hospital as it is! Go get medical help, and peace away from him while you’re at it!
I would have left and got a hotel for the night. If it cannot be worked out you need to leave him. That behaviour shows he doesn’t care about you or your health
dump him. If it’s your place, evict him. You’re not attached legally to this jerk.
Sounds like you drop some “weight!”
No you’re not wrong. But you will be if you keep putting up with it. Goodluck
U deserve better hun. Run.
“You’re drinking has become a problem. Fix it or I’m leaving”. It will only get worse.
I don’t think you’re wrong for having an imbecile being so ignorant , but if you stay in a relationship with that idiot it will be the same thing over and over again! Let him GO!
I’ve been married for 52 yrs now .I got lupus at age 17 after we got married !Ive been sick our entire marriage.At age 30 I got my first brain tumor ,31 second brain tumor with a stroke and a brain bleed.Im now almost 70 and my headaches are very severe !I also have an inoperable brain stem tumor currently.My hubby is such a good man but talks really loud and it really hurts my head.I do have to remind him to lower his voice …I can’t imagine your SO being so rude when you’re sick !NO you’re NOT WRONG he’s being very childish and ignorant !Hope u get well soon I’m sorry you’re going through this ordeal !
Is he an alcoholic? If so join some support groups it might help you
Girl…he’s toxic af…and u will never have a good life with that one. Leave…why do u feel like you deserve less?
there are real men out there who would never treat a woman like that!!
He should be ashamed of himself.
Leave! I would not put up with that!
Leave him, he sounds like an uncaring looser and an alcoholic
He’s a child in a man’s body. He’s behaving like a bratty child. Would you tolerate that behavior from a child? Then why would you of a partner? You’re not co-habitating, you’re living under his wingspan. He believes he’s entitled to take up all of that space without thinking of anyone but himself. That’s not a relationship. Pack a bag and go stay with a friend. Get your things in order and move on.
Wow he’s 58 years old and acts disrespectful…he needs to grow up. I don’t think he’s gonna get better…worse maybe but not better
Have you seen a doctor? Not eaten in days is not good.
He doesn’t deserve you it’s in plain sight for you.
If you’re asking then you already know what he’s doing is wrong. He can’t even show you a simple kindness while you’re sick & that will never change. Your deserve to be with someone who treats you better, especially when you’re not well
Your not wrong. He should show some respect unexceptionable
Please leave. He is very abusive! He is also showing you what your future is going to look like! You need someone who is going to be there for you during the good and bad times, not a petulant little boy!! Leave while you still can! Good luck❣️
I was treated like this before finally getting back with my bestfriend… you are not wrong and actually i would love for you to show him my comment.
I didnt think it was possible to be with a man that could be compassionate and take complete care of you but it is and hun he is not it, attest not by the sound of this. I mean if he cared about you he wouldn’t want you in pain and would help anyway he could
I would get everything in order and leave. No reason to let him treat you like that. Drinking isn’t an excuse either. He chooses to pick up that bottle, he chose to be loud and said he HOPES it hurt you…Now it is time you choose to leave and don’t look back. It ain’t worth it.
Sounds like a drunk POS! My partner nurses me back to health like I do him.
You need to run sis. He has no care for your well-being at all. The way he speaks to his own family shows how he treats those who he SHOULD love & adore. Go and stay with a friend for a few days, get some rest.
Tell him to go get a hotel
Your partner is mentally unstable and doesn’t care one bit about your well-being.
He’s very disrespectful of your feelings and he doesn’t care how you feel. He showed that by saying he hope it’s hurts. And he drinks all the time from what you’ve written. I’d leave. Don’t put up with an alcoholic and abusive man.
Your not wrong I’d be running like hell if I were you so run like hell and don’t look back also you said you haven’t eaten in days that’s so unhealthy and not good by any means have you seen a Dr if not get in immediately
Be obviously so not care about you , you should leave him
No, you’re not wrong, you’re too tolerant and need to show yourself more love by showing him the door. What he’s doing is neglect and emotional, mental and physical abuse by intentionally causing you pain in these levels. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this but it may be the realisation you need. There are plenty of good men around that would be happy to care for you as you grow old together.
Please put your self first, it will only get worse. I hope you feel better soon.
I would have left. He is acting like a child.
Why are you still there? It’s time to go. Let that man child be by himself. him
Kick his ass out while he is out change the locks. Don’t let him back in till you feel better or till he stops his behaviour.
Giirrrrrllllllll… if you don’t throw that whole ass man straight in the trash…
He doesn’t give a toss about you
The fact that you even have to ask means that it’s beyond time to get out of this relationship.
He has the maturity level of a 14 year old.
I’d imagine he’s an alcoholic as well?
Literally sounds like my dad and my moms relationship, if you’d call it one.
Best advice? Leave him now before you’re stuck with him at an age where you can’t get on your own feet.
Get checked for COVID & other stuff ASAP!!!. This is NOT NORMAL, especially if you are not eating. If you don’t normally suffer from migraines or similar symptoms to what you’re having, get checked out! NOW!! It could save your life, and if it’s nothing then you have that peace of mind.
If you want to stay with him, maybe get noise canceling headphones to wear while he’s ranting. Doesn’t sound like you have anyone to look after you. I’d have friends and family check in on you frequently, especially while you are ill.
Is he only nasty and loud when he drinks? Does he drink often or a lot at a time repeatedly? I’d join Al-Anon to learn how to deal with him. You might want to encourage him to join AA and get therapy for whatever is upsetting him from childhood on, and for him to learn how to deal with stress and anger (usually anger is a cover for fear & other emotions in men).
Could he be worried sick about you but doesn’t want to show weakness, and doesn’t know how to “fix” things so gets drunk to dull the pain & yells & screams to distract himself?
Sounds like he & his sister have some really unhealthy habits and patterns. Is the screaming, anger, outbursts and neglect recent or recurring behavior? If he was like this when you got with him, we’ll, that’s on you. Understand you can’t change him or his behavior, you only have control over yourself.
Might want to tell him you need a break & take a hiatus for you both to work on yourselves & then see if you want to ease back into the relationship or call it quits. Also you should have someone look after you while you’re recovering vs. someone who makes things worse. While you’re living apart assess whether or not you’re better with him or without him. Sounds like there aren’t many pros, but a lot of cons.
Alternatively, if you enjoy his company, live separately and date. Refuse to see him when he’s already unpleasant, or leave and go home if he gets sloppy/nasty/too loud while you are out. Don’t invite him to your place unless you’re sure he can behave & don’t have alcohol available. I wouldn’t even give him your new address. Let him know when you will be blocking his number so you can have some peace and quiet. Contact a women’s center and/or DV hotline and the police if he stalks/harasses you.
Hope you recover from your illness and this unpleasant relationship. We’re rooting for you & give us a follow up so we know you’re OK. If you need a safe house maybe someone on here can offer you a place.
You’re not married so it’s easier to walk away, and know there are WAY worse things than being single.
Doesn’t sound like a great partner. He doesn’t sound like he even likes you.
Do you have another place you can go live like leave him he’s very selfish and his sister shows she doesn’t respect you as well
Chile, take his credit card and go book a hotel. Can’t spend your money on getting drunk if I spent it on a quiet place to rest.
Sorry, not being the bigger person anymore
He appears to not even care about your feelings. He should be waiting on you, feeding you, giving you medicine, head rubs if it helps… if you’re like me, we hardly get sick… but when we do we get it bad. I’d be finding a nice motel to stay in so I can get better in peace and quiet. Hope you’re feeling better x
Throw his ass out!!!
The relationship would be over if that was my man.
First off: NO you are not wrong in your feelings and expectations. Completely valid.
But let me say, I am with someone like this. If you can… get out. Here I am 16 years down the road… And now it’s super difficult to find a stable way out. I’m depressed, angry resentful and stuck.
Please leave this man. Unless he gets help or stops drinking… which I’m sure you already know as you’re writing this that he’s not going to do willingly… Then please get out of that living situation. Show him ,and yourself, that you have other options outside of him. And by options I mean friends, family, a life … places to go… Set your boundaries and see if he budges. Draw that line in the sand NOW and don’t ever let him cross it more than once or he’s got you.
I promise you it does not get better with alcoholics who rage and throw fits and when you tell them you’re literally at the end of your rope… ten minutes later they’re yelling about something or slamming cabinets because they can’t find anything suitable to eat. They go back and forth from Jekyll to Hyde and just continue to drown themselves in the bottle.
Yes I have compassion and empathy for anyone with an addiction but hey, that’s why I’m stuck where I am right now.
It’s no good. You deserve better.
Sounds like a 58 year old divorced man to me.
Don’t stay with someone that is extremely selfish you’re sick, he just cares about himself and how he feels.
Mine is 71 and still is an asshole!!
I would be G O N E by daylight!!!
From the sound of it, he’s getting drunk and loud on an every weekend kind of basis. He’s clearly not going to change or respect or cherish you the way you want. Doesn’t sound like a good match to me
Leave and do not give in and take him back.
Get out he is selfish
Some of these posts I swear!
You KNOW your not wrong. You KNOW that’s an asshole type thing to do.
Now the only choice you have is wether your going to tolerate and deal with the behavior or leave.
Cuz old dogs don’t learn new tricks.
How long have you been with this man ,do you have children with him ,this is not a partner. Get out
Start packing, run, and don’t look back, he is not worth it!
Your not wrong, he’s disrespectful, arrogant and selfish. He’d be right in the bin
You have a right to ask him to leave your house go live somewhere else and let you have your issues on your own without all the drama and trauma.
Sounds like a spoilt brat
Stop putting up with this behaviour it’s not acceptable hun. He has no respect for you sorry
Sounds like as keeper
I would say run but I am in same position and I’m still here. My partner doesn’t want to hear uf I’m in pain or sick…having alot of pelvic pain…waiting for test results he keeps asking to have sex and I can’t remind him why I can’t so he thinks I’m not into him…you and I both need to find a way to walk out
Leave his old ass. You’ll be happier.
Wow! He has hurt you so much that you think this is your fault. I know it’s so much easier said than done to leave but I don’t think this man loves and respects you.
And you haven’t left him yet? Sorry you have to deal with that crap
Firstly when I read this I actually thought maybe he was in his 20s because if the way he was acting!
I would kick him out tbh he clearly has no respect for you. He shouldn’t be asking like a child slamming doors.
I do hope your starting to feel better! X
It’s called respect for your partner. He needs to get some of it.