I can’t seem to get myself out of a toxic relationship and stay out… my partner of over two years has been on a dating site since this January and keeps getting on them even after he says he doesn’t get on them. I can’t ever stay broken up with him, and it’s hurting… we have two kids together. I’m pregnant with my third. It’s a constant fight we go through. I tell him to delete him he does for a week, then he’s back on them. I’ve let my feelings out. I’ve told him how it made me feel how I felt like I wasn’t good enough… how can I get myself to stop believing him when he says he’ll stay off… I just give up… I don’t want to hurt myself anymore.
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Make an account for yourself and see if y’all match 
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Leave him. You said yourself it’s toxic
Leave that jive ass turkey. Gotta have more respect for ya self and children than that.
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Just walk away hard but better for you and the kids in the long run
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Your kids will be happier if you are apart and a happy mummy than together and a sad mummy x
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A person can only do to you as you allow them to.
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He will keep doing it because he knows he will get away with it because you won’t leave him
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Dating sites are full of married men . He wont stop.
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And eye for an eye. Fuck it. Why not get entertained. His doing it. Aren’t you lonely and bored and hurt.
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Just walk away. Take the kids and go somewhere then just don’t respond to him unless it’s directly related to the children. File for custody/divorce and move on with your life. You deserve better.
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Run run as fast as you can
Think about your children! That’s all you have to do. By not getting away from him you are teaching them as they grow that this behavior is normal and ok.
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Leave. If choose to stay then accept it.
Stop expecting change and dont waste one more second on him. Put your big girl pants on and get yourself and your kids away from that toxic environment.
IT WONT CHANGE! He is laughing at you behind your back!
Especially your prego don’t need stress and your kids neither if u have some where to stay then go and leave not fair on ur kids n the baby
He’s definitely toxic, you believe what he says because you love him! The sad reality is, he doesn’t love you! I know first hand it’s difficult but what needs to sink in is his actions aren’t matching his words.
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Ask yourself if you want your children to grow up believing this is what love should look like. And then allow yourself to love yourself enough to set the boundaries and step away from that which hurts you. Until you are ready though to step into yourself and love yourself-no amount of words or advice will penetrate the cycle you are in…
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You can get yourself to stop believing him by reading what you just wrote… he’s been on a dating site since January and keeps getting on them even after he says doesn’t get on them. Do you want to spend the next 9 months doing/living the same thing as the last 9?
We teach people how to treat us - he misbehaves, you accept this behavior, you stay with him you have taught him he can behave this way and you won’t leave. There is no consequence for him so where is the motivation for him to change ? I’m not blaming you for his behavior - I am trying to tell you that he will continue to do what he does because he knows you won’t /can’t /choose not to do anything about it. He is a selfish person and it’s not good to teach your children that this behavior is acceptable - kick him out and move on!
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So sorry you’re going through this!
As long as he knows he will get you back ( and I hope for your sake the pregnancy isn’t a way for him to control you) he will continue to do it! You need to really decide about this relationship and stick to your decision. Decide where you want to be in five years and if he’s not part of it get out! It’s never easy making decisions like this especially pregnant but ,it’s important for you and your kids to make a decision and do it! You don’t have anything to prove to him and unfortunately if you are the one he would t make you insecure being on those sights! Sounds to me he’s insecure and using these sights to make you feel the same way as a way to control how you feel about yourself! I wouldn’t play that game! Good luck!
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Seriously
Smash his phone and stay away from him
Its not that hard you have children to keep you busy
Leave!! Don’t take him back. Coparent with the kids.
I’d start with finding a new place to live without telling him. then into counciling asap - they can help you get out of that mind frame of going back.
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Once they are on a dating sight , they have checked out of the relationship !! He is on them sniffing around for somthing new …What a coward , doesn’t have the balls to be honest !!..Its gonna be hard to be alone with three children , but in the long run , you will be better off …
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Not sure why you are even asking. Take the same advice you would give your best friend if she were going through the same shit show.
You already know what to do. Now you just need to buck up and do it for your children. The situation is toxic and you know it.
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U gotta leave and not look back. If he cared about u at all he wouldnt b doing things he knows hurt u
If its dating sites he keeps looking at, he is cheating on you with other sex partners. He wont stop stop cuz he is “having his cake and eating it too.” He is having a family & a side chick.
If he keeps looking at porn sites that much, it likely is an addiction. And no matter what you say, his addiction wont stop. Just like if he was addicted to alchohol or drugs
Only way for you to have a more peaceful life, is to permanently leave him.
Talk to a women’s advocate or shelter for support in the process.
Good luck. Its hard, but you can do it
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Leave. Your children will suffer because of your inability to love yourself.
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I would suggest counseling if you want your family to stay together… that is if it’s just porn sites he is on…he may have an addition and afraid to say something about it…hell I caught my 14 year old teenager watching on the computer…as a mother I had to respect the fact that he was discovering himself…I would rather him masturbate watching porn than be out sleeping with God knows what(as a result I asked my child not to have intercourse before age 18 and that wish was granted)…it’s not about what you go through in life it how you handle the situation…and please don’t think because your man is watching porn your not good enough… trust you wouldn’t be pregnant with your third child if you were undesirable… praying that all is well
Sign up for the dating sites yourself. Then laugh when he comes across your profile as he’s swiping through. When he questions you about, tell him to fuck off.
So to say this but you have spoken to him about it and he keeps doing it seems to me he’s not happy in your relationship let him go make sure he pays child support for your children and move on
Its simple leave his ass
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You have to be ready to walk away . It doesn’t sound like he will change ,so you have to .
Either except it or walk away .
The only person you can change is you .
This is heartbreaking. I’m so, so sorry for you & your kids. First, get some strong support in the form of counseling & a network of friends who can hold onto you when you feel weak about going back. Second, start a notebook of all the betrayals & conversations & tears he has caused you so you have something tangible you can grab onto when you feel tempted to go back. Then, be very clear with him about your boundary - that you’ve given him every chance to prove himself but he keeps failing - so really, he’s given you no choice but to leave. Tell him you’re open to reconciling when & if (& only if) he changes. You are going to have to make a hard choice to grieve…but grieving once is much easier than going back & forth over a sawblade the rest of your life. Focus on your children & creating a good healthy life for them - you will NOT ever regret that. Stay strong & do what you KNOW is right. Even if it’s hard. Praying for you!!
leave him its easy as fuck 
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Well how much more of your life are you willing to spend this way? 3 months…3 years…a decade. Are you willing to teach your children that this dysfunction is what a relationship should look like? That a woman should let a man treat her badly, that children moving in and out of a home with their parent is normal?
When I realized I would rather explain to my kids why I left than why I stayed, I found it alot easier to come to terms with.
Babygirl I’m sorry you’re going thru this, but leave him before it hurts for too long.
I went thru it for 12 years before HE finally left ME, go figure right. It gets better. I promise.
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He lies. You believe him. You get pregnant. YOU are the only one who can change the last two statements.
Don’t believe him. Have a tubal ligation.
If you can’t trust him, stop having children with him.
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You must like it cause you stay in it and keep going back. It your problem leave or put up with it
We teach people how to treat us …some people deserve a second chance but a 2nd 3rd n 4th nar get rid hes junk
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Think of your unborn child, what if he brings you an STD? Do you the side effects that can bring your child? Walk away for yourself and your children. My ex cheated on me while I was pregnant with my 3rd child too, I walked away and never looked back. My baby girl is 10years old now, best thing i have done. Thank GOD!
The only person that can get you out of your situation is you, there is no knight in shining armour to do it for you. It’s easy to be a victim but harder to be your own hero. Talk to women’s groups and shelters, YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY AND CHANGE YOUR FUTURE. If you don’t do something now, make peace with the fact he cheats and is having sex with other people.
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Please leave him, and for good. My heart hurts for you, but you have to do it.
Dump him he isn’t worth your time!
Just tell him to Hit The Road Jack :::good bye ::: no need for that garbage ::: if he wants the garbage ::tell him to go after it ::: Leave U B
You and your children deserve better! That’s the bottom line. You don’t say if you are married to him or not. Either way, you need to get a good lawyer and confirm what your rights are to custody of the kids, your home, vehicles, etc… Its time to get serious and take responsibility for your kid’s futures. It’s all on you. You already know that you can’t count on him to help with anything. I went through something similar and did what I had to do. You will be amazed at just how strong you really are! Much love and many blessings to you all!
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Time to let his ass go , he already knows you’re not gonna really do anything being you have let him slid ,so it’s time to prove his ass wrong and get to stepping.
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Youre a fool! Can’t ypu see having babies is putting you in a bad siuation dumb ass!
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He clearly doesn’t respect you or value your feelings… the best advice would be to put him out and do not let him back in, do not allow your children to grow up seeing you be so disrespected, they will also learn not to respect their mother and later in life choose broken people to have personal relationships with for that is all they been shown. If you can’t leave for you than leave for your children’s sake. Stay strong mama, you deserve better!
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Please Leave!
That’s not normal behaviour & you deserve better.
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Sounds like a great guy……NOT… I think you should probably already know what you need to do and what you probably should have done a long time ago having another baby with this guy is not going to change his mind about staying off this online dating crap…leave…you deserve better…SO DO YOUR CHILDREN
Advice my ass. You already know what you need to do, quit looking for reassurance
You can leave now or wait till he dumps you for the replacement he’s looking for online. What self respecting female would put up with shit like this??
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Please know you deserve better and not only for you but your children deserve a happy mother. You can’t parent to your full capacity in stressful situations like that.
Start stashing a little money and a plan for when you’re ready and don’t look back.
Then you’re not ready to be done with it and him just yet. How much proof do you need to see that he does not value you or your relationship. He will likely continue his behavior because you won’t leave, and will tolerate it. But, by doing so you’ll only poison yourself. You’re the only one compromising your feelings instead of being honest to yourself. I know it’s hard to walk away from our expectations sometimes. You have really evaluate your idea of him and who you want him to be vs. who he actually is and chooses to be through his actions. The best revenge you can give him is letting him go completely and by moving on. It’s revolving door. You have to want to step out of the situation. And, when you do… you might actually be surprised about how much better life is once you heal. Imagine how wonderful Mr Wrong for you is now, Imagine how much more wonderful it could be with the Mr Right you want.
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Believe me u can do it on your own I never thought I could but I am it’s sad my.hubby died I didnt leave him I should have but I didnt. Its scary to think I’m gonna be on my own but you’ll.feel.much better when u do good luck
Sorry to say, but he won’t change. It’s an addiction. He may say he will change, but he will just hide it from you… I went through the same thing. After countless times, listening to his sorry excuses, and him asking me , “Are you gonna leave me for that?” … I finally did!
#beenthere
One day, you will say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, then it will be over…
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Sign up for a few dating sites yourself and kick him to the curb.
He doesn’t respect you. He keeps you busy with kids do he can mess around. Open door… shove him out! Show your kids what respecting yourself is all about.
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So your going through this but. Get out f the relationship now.no more babies cause your going to raise them yourself I would have stopped it the first one so you need to get your act together for your kids cuz he’s not
Your first sentence should give you and insight what to do.
If you are in Canada. You can go to mental health for some counseling. You clearly do not know your worth. You are precious and valuable to your children. Get help for yourself and your kids. If he is doing this he is either cheating or close to it. You do not want any diseases from him. Mess around too long and you may be ill and guess who gets your kids. If you get out without getting sick, you are teaching your boys to disrespect their partners starting with you. You are teaching your girls, they do not deserve a loyal partner and that men are not to be trusted. Collect evidence, take snap shots of his phone. Put some money aside tell your support system what is happening. Good luck.
What the hell is wrong with you women. You have babies with these guys thinking it will change them and it doesn’t and the kids are the ones who suffer. How about getting to know the man for that two years before you have kids and you would have been walking away by now.
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Kick his lying disrespectful arse to the kerb. You deserve so much better. He is not respecting you and you are not respecting yourself by staying with him. See a Solicitor and start making arrangements for you and your children. Remember you dont need him. Good luck.
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Leaving for good is the only solution. The more chances you give someone, they know you always will. Its sadly true because I’ve been through it and I unfortunately know. Love yourself more than you love him this time.
You already know what you need to do. He will not change. Let your kids see that you have self respect. Leave now!!
Get a account of your own and do you…stop allowing him to disrespect you
Until you find your strength and understand what you really want you may never leave. Just know babies are not glue and marriage is just a piece of paper.
You have to find yourself and want to leave.
YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU ARE BETTER.
And all negative comments about what’s wrong with you are not ok.
I was in toxic relationships and I got out so it is possible.
Pray about the situation. Hope it all works out
Girl what? Kick the garbage to the curb.
Getting out of a toxic relationship is hard, specially with kids and you actually loving them and wanting them to change. But you need to accept that he won’t and move on. It will be hard but worth it in the end. Find someone you don’t have to second guess
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Leave and never look back
He’s showing you exactly who he is and what he wants. I don’t see you in that picture…contact a good lawyer and find out what your options ok ns are. And get some counseling do you don’t repeat this horrible experience !
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I had a very similar situation. It’s best to leave and never look back. Yes it’s still toxic trying to coparent with them. But it’s easier than giving yourself to someone like that. He will never change and his true colors will show even more once you’re gone and stay gone
Girl…
he aint gonna quit, and things aren’t going to change until you say enoughs enough, i deserve more.
Not what you want to hear but its true.
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Girl leave. And do not go back. That’s not love, he doesn’t love you so why bother continuing giving him your love. It hurts less as time passes but you gotta push through. Don’t let your kids grow up and think that’s a normal relationship
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You know the solution. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over hoping for different outcomes.
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I didn’t even need to read the explanation… Leave! He’s obviously not committed, you don’t need that. You’re worth more than a man that’s unsure about himself.
Remember those are his issues to deal with don’t devalue yourself.
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Leave. He will never change. He does not love u. You want your kids and new baby to see how he treats you? You want them to think that’s ok? If you cant leave for yourself do it for your kids !
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2 years, 3 Kids… Wow!
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I was in a toxic situation ship for 8 years. If someone is doing the same things over and over that hurt you, they dont care that they are hurting you. A lot of the time, they get away with it so they justify doing it over and over. You’re going to have to be the one to be strong enough to say you deserve better. As soon as I left my toxic situation, I ran into something good. Sometimes we miss out on better things holding onto toxic things just because we are scared to live without it or because we are convinced its meant to be. I assure you that you were meant for better. I hope you figure it out. Positive vibes and love!
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Take a look at those kids and image someone breaking their hearts over and over and them following your example and staying.
If you can live with that then stay.
If you want better do better for them since you can’t do it for yourself.
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You need to leave and not come back. Things will never change with him and you deserve better.
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Time to leave. You’re hurting yourself at this point thinking he’ll change when clearly he won’t.
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Leave…he will never change and you will always doubt whether or not he’s being honest with you. You will never be able to trust him and it will get worse. Been there done that trying to stay together for the family. Broke myself in the process. No man is ever worth that. Don’t give him one more minute of your life. Focus on you and your babies and let him continue to be the loser that he is…WITHOUT YOU!!
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Leave on kick him out.
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He will never stop and he knows he can lie to you because you’ll always take him back. He’s a narcissist. You could be petty & put yourself on dating sites. You may actually meet someone better than him. But for real, leave him. Theres literally no reason to stay with him. None. Not even the kids are a good reason to stay in a bad relationship.
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Don’t be naive. You’d best leave now, file for full custody and ask for child support. He’s not going to stop.
Idky u are looking for advice. You know better. He has shown u exactly who he is and u keep having his babies. This is your life. Get used to it.
Its sad but nothing anyone says is gonna make it any better. Only u can leave… And it doesnt seem like u will so…
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If not for you, then for your kids or needs to end. You don’t want them to grow up thinking that’s how relationships should work. You deserve better, you’re worth more! He is the one who is unworthy.
Why would you want to be with someone who can’t stay faithful to you? Leave
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Run as fast you can!!!
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Do you want your kids to grow up thinking that it’s okay to treat someone like he’s treating you? Do you want them to think it’s okay to be treated that way? I’m sure the answer to both is no. Which means you need to leave, and stay gone. You’re both allowing your kids to think a toxic relationship is normal. Think of them if you can’t think of yourself.
Leave Now! Don’t waste another minute!
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It’s over never going to change all your doing is teaching your kids to be in toxic relationship s it won’t help the kids in the long run at all been there done that learnt the hard way
Make one as well. See how he likes seeing you on it. LEAVE! Before you end up with something you can’t get rid of.
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You just have to not go back… there’s nothing anybody can say or do that will change that. Tough it out and stay away.
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Just takes the right thing to make you change your mind. It doesn’t have to though. Don’t let something worse happen and even hurt your kids by staying. You know the answer.