Just leave your partner has zero respect for you and he showing his son to show you the same disrespect. It will only continue as long as you allow it.
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I felt like I was reading my own life story from a few years ago. It’s not a happy ending hun. I took my babies and got a divorce.
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Imo - you need to leave and get you and your son out of this situation and toxic environment! It’s only gonna get worse! I agree with someone earlier that said his son is gonna end up in prison or dead! You don’t want your son around this crap do you? You guys should leave asap! Best of luck to you!
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Let him deal with it and whatever the outcome it’s on his dad.
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I have this same problem only my stepson is 10. My husband let’s him do whatever he wants and im not allowed to say one word to him about it. Its really annoying
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If he’s not going to listen to you. Get out now. That child is going to end up dead or in jail! The son knows he can do what he wants and not get into trouble. And that kid is also learning the way not to treat a woman but he will do it anyways! I hope it doesn’t take the kid getting really hurt or dying for the father to realize he needs to be a parent and not a friend.
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I personally wouldn’t be able to stay in this situation. I wouldn’t be willing to have a child living in my home that I had no control over…because in the end if something bad happens it will still be your responsibility. Obviously your SO has zero respect for you and is not a good parent, all the more reason to leave now while you can.
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Toxic get your son and leave. Let them ruin each other life but don’t let them bring you and yours down
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Usually I’m against all the “just leave” comments, but I wouldn’t be able to handle that.
There is no winning this situation. You discipline him anyways, you’ve got your partner screaming at you.
You don’t discipline and something happens, you’ll never forgive yourself.
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I would’ve been gone. Very toxic situation and sounds like your partner or lack there of doesn’t respect you… What he is doing is neglect and endangering to his son… So glad your kid isn’t in this crowd you should be proud of that which seems like you are… Take care and I hope you get away so you and your son can have peace 
These kind of situations never end well just a down hill spiral
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Not your kid, not your problem. If it is affecting your child you need to leave this relationship ASAP. It’s not worth it!
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I would honestly continue to attempt to discipline him. Tell your husband that if he doesn’t step up as a father and start giving a shit about what he is up to then you are friggen done. Tell him if he can’t accept the fact you will discipline him for dangerous behavior then you are done. Make your own rules and if they don’t work then walk away knowing you tried.
I just left someone with 3 kids that did the same shit. I have two of my own and all of our kids are only 1-2 years apart so they were all expected to have the same rules… but that never happened because him and his kids ended up running MY house. Leave. It will never get better trust me it’s exhausting and you’ll be wasting your time. I had no control over his kids and he made sure they knew that too. It was a nightmare. I’d say one thing and he would take all the kids (including my own) and walk away saying don’t listen to me. Id give a punishment and he would immediately take it away. Sooooo glad i got out of that! Run girl.
Your boyfriend needs to step up & be a parent. Not a friend. You need to leave now! This kid is going to bring yours into this behavior. He may also being dangers home. Run!
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It’s a terrible thing, but the husband will learn very soon when his son ends up in an accident or on life support at the hospital.
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F that…. He doesn’t respect you and for that I would be out.
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That child will have problems the dad will have to deal with himself later on lol move far away from this situation, sounds enabling af
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Husband doesn’t have respect for you. Time to leave
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I wouldn’t live like that! Your either a team of you need to get rid of him! Xx
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You are in a losing battle. And if the kid is already drinking and such… it is just going to get worse. But he will always let his son run the house. Sometimes… no matter how much you love someone… you have to love yourself more and walk away. And it also sounds like it has gone so far that you are so fed up…that everything the kid does is not acceptable…which is pretty normal in that situation. And says a lot about how this situation is affecting you. Leave…grieve …and live again.
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RUN… Does not sound like a healthy relationship for sure… But thank you for trying to be a responsible parent… This child needs one… But this will only get worse… Not better…this is not where you need to be… In my opinion…
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Walk away, my husband and I have kids. My Oldest are not by him but he is their dad. In the beginning I set the boundaries. Not just for him but for them too. I made it clear that they would respect him but also he would respect them its a 2 way street. If the other parent don’t stand up and set it straight then it’s time to leave.
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My advice. Leave him be.And tell your son to ignore his actions and don’t say another word about how he behaves, because if that boy catches wind he’s telling,your son is going to be a victim of bullying and don’t hang around with this kid.His father is a complete idiot and he’s gonna try drag you along when it suits him when his son goes on another missing adventure.Then you flat out refuse.Just say no you go I don’t want to get involved.He starts at you give him a taste of his own medicine and let him know loudly he wants you to not do this don’t do that yells at you and now he expects you to go search with him because it suits him? No,tell him I have my own son il look after him you look after yours.And see how changes will happen after that Don’t give any more of your time until this selfish father gets his shit together
Crap. I almost probably got banned AGAIN Because I thought this was in my bad advice group. Lol
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This isn’t going to end well. Let the son ruin his father’s life. Not you and your son’s.
You can only stand by so much before he ends up in jail/casket and you end up having to deal with the anger from you “not doing anything” about it.
Get out. And if he asks why, tell him flat out. You don’t need the son ruining both of your lives. Just dad’s, since dad won’t do shit.
Do it when he’s ready…
Just leave that douchebag! His son will never respect you if all he hears is dad being disrespectful.
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The son can do no wrong in his eyes,so let it be;& when(not if),something do happen,I’d be right there to say I told u so…
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Have a talk and just be straight up either things change or Iam gone, I refuse to go to his funeral
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WOW…… Your significant other sounds like a shit parent.
To be more clear we realize as we become mothers that parenting is HUGE, less obvious is that the person we decide to spend our lives with NEEDS to have similar parenting views, or at the very least you have a common parenting style rules discipline s that you both adhere to.
It’s clear your partner has no respect for you. I would tell him that unless his parenting changes and he allows you to be a part of that then you and your child are leaving
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Leave. That kid is going to get all of you in legal trouble. Underage drinking, the car and whatever else. His dad is no help. If that’s your
car or if your tied to that car in anyway take it away now, last thing you need is him to crash it and your stuck dealing with. You literally have no say and y’all leave together. Kick them out or leave.
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Zero respect. Wouldn’t be me.
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I wouldn’t have any of that. When his son is away Hash it out with your partner and make it known that your relationship is supposed to be a partnership and if he can’t let you use your better judgment as a mother than you no longer need to be a part of the situation. Then you need to actually leave the home. Take your child and stay with family…if he hasn’t come to you to discuss things within a month…you can assume that he doesn’t care and your relationship is over. I don’t have kids of my own (lost my son 6 hours after birth) but my S/O has a daughter. We have only been together for 8 months but I stepped right into a motherly roll with discipline and my S/O backs me everytime. He is appreciative that I stepped up and actually try to help and be a positive yet stern role model for his 7 year old. If you can’t run off motherly instinct then why bother with it at all.
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Leave, he does not respect you at all
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I think you have 3 choices: you can decide it’s not on you, focus on raising your own child, and let him deal with the messes on his own, preserving your marriage; you can move out with your child, because this will eventually effect your own kiddo, and maintain a long distance relationship; or walk away.
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So daddy and son need to go live in their own home
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I don’t even have any advice 
my heart breaks for you, I know it must be hard to go through all of this. Thank you for trying to be a good role model and a responsible adult. Someone is going to get very seriously hurt by this kid and/or his friends and your husband will wish he had listened to you.
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Bitch leave, tell him if he wants to raise that kid alone, go right ahead. Dont let him do that to u.
Girl you need to leave, yesterday!! He has absolutely no respect for you at all
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Two choices. Leave and have a life or stay and put up with it. You have a grown idiot man disrespecting you and teaching his son to do the same thing. WHY would you stay around that to begin with???
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Leave or just be there to tell him you told him so when something happens hes flat out just not parenting and it will have its consequences same with him flat out not respecting you
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My concern is for your child. If he is seeing this behavior, he will resent that he has different rules and will eventually rebel as a result. You need a set of house rules and if your partner doesn’t see that he probably isnt a good partner for you.
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If you can’t can’t communicate or function with each other as adults, how could you with a rebellious teenager? You guys need to solve your own issues before anything else can be done for anyone else.
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Leave. With his look at things, what if he over looks something dangerous ANY of the kids might do… he is no kind of responsible parent if what your saying is true. My spouse and I have 5 children, in a blended home(mine and ours) we both let things slide and talk IN PRIVATE when we feel punishment is too harsh or energy was off— the ONE thing we do not budge on is SAFETY! Burst into that door and feel dumb bc it was a movie(thank god) snatch that phone if you thought something! Ect, ect… Rather apologize for being wrong then to be sorry. Especially with cars and others lives at stake! His son could legitimately kill himself and/or others.
Nacho parenting look into it and really consider it. If it’s not for you then respect his wishes as well as yourself and walk away.
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You’re treated more like the child than the actual child is. If I were you I’d be packing up and leaving.
He doesn’t like confrontation but he sounds pretty confrontational when it comes to you trying to keep his kid from getting himself killed!
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Maybe you need to just give your partner what he wants. The easy way out. Just leave. If he’s yelling at you for caring about his son’s wellbeing when he himself don’t care then fuck him. That boy is going to end up killing someone or himself. If that happens, I’m pretty sure you will get the blame for it because “you didn’t tell him” etc. I’m so glad I wasn’t this stupid as a teen. Time to just leave it alone. You can’t be a dead horse into listening. Your son will eventually pick up his son’s habits.
Honestly it sounds like you and your so. Need to leave the situation. If he wants to live thinking his sons an angel and can’t go wrong let him do it without you there. I know you said your son don’t hang with the same kids but you just never know what could happen in the future and don’t want him getting hurt or following what his sons doing.
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My SIL has gone through something similar except my niece and nephew (that aren’t hers) haven’t done anything to that extreme. My niece will just backtalk and tell her she doesn’t have to listen. When SIL tried to discipline her, BIL stepped in and told her she wasn’t their mother (only mother they have known since bio mom passed away when nephew was 2 weeks old). Now niece will just up and leave without telling anyone, doesn’t do chores around the house, disrespectful. BIL is now trying discipline after 18 years of letting her have her way. 
Good luck mama. 
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No freakin way I would stay, he obviously does not respect u at all, this will only get worse ! And probably harder to heave the longer I wait. Not ok at all…
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You are being disrespected and belittled and your still there taking it all in- your first mistake taking it to FACEBOOK!!!
Take your child & leave
3 choices
Tell you’re partner too control his kid or you’re leaving with yours.
2. Tell you’re partner if his son wants to come home drunk around the other kids maybe cops need to be involved ( his dad will get it then)
- You up and leave let his dad try and handle him if the system gets him that’s his dad fault not yours.
Sometime putting things openly helps the other parent see where they are failing period.
15 or not my son did that I’d be one mad momma & let him see jail for drinking at a young age
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UID leave his arse he obviously doesn’t care about u or his kid leave him let him deal with him on his own bye 
So many issues here. But, the main one I have, is your husband needs to realize drinking a driving, especially at those speeds, aren’t just putting step son & friends lives as risk. They could kill innocent people. THAT alone should be reason enough to do SOMETHING about it. Ffs.
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This is a tough situation. If it were me it would be hard to just leave, so at first I guess I would tell my S/O that if that’s how he wants it…fine. but when his son is injured or gets arrested because he doesn’t want to confront him or provide structure then it is all on him. He will only be to blame if something terrible happens because he can’t parent his child.
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I was always told you can’t care more than the bio parents. I personally wouldn’t be able to stick around cause parenting is of the most important things to me.
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Sounds like a shit “partner” - I’m guessing you aren’t married. That’s good! Because you & YOUR KID(S) NEED TO SPLIT ASAP & I MEAN NOW! And whatever you do DO NOT get pregnant by this fool. Let him deal with the consequences of his HORRIBLE “parenting”. Get out while you still can! RUN!
Yeah I’d be done with him. He can’t even be a parent properly, let alone communicate the right way hell…he doesn’t even show you respect. Throw the whole man away.
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You are not his mother and by what I’ve heard on the Judge shows you are not allowed to discipline him . If the father is not your husband then you have a problem. I agree the boy should do as you ask if you are asking in the right tones. I have this thing of “it’s not what you say, but how you say it.”
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You have no respect in this relationship, I’d be out of there now.
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You need to leave I have 3 sons 19,18&14 AND ILL BE DAMNED IF THEY ACT LIKE FOOLS…AND MY HUSBAND ( Who isnt their father) wouldn’t allow it either!!
seriously its nice you care but your being to much. Boys will be boys and its not your kid, if you cant find something else to focus your time on then leave the relationship
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Take your son and leave.
You’re leaving soon right?
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Just manage your kid and do what you need to do for him. Don’t say anything or do anything for his son. He can do it all. I know it’s hard but if that’s what he wants do it. Then when the trouble starts rolling in just say I told ya and walk away. Don’t even help clean the mess up when it happens. Let him be responsible for it. It’s sad that he wants to be a family but wants to divide. Or just leave.
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First I would get a life insurance policy on him because he ain’t gonna make it. Then I would stop cooking, cleaning, washing his clothes, ect. When your partner ask you about it you tell him he thinks he’s grown and you can’t tell him what to do he can do for himself.
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I understand you voicing your concerns 100%. But essentially it is his son, him needing to discipline, him needing to take action.
From a person whom has had step parens, my parents always did the disciplining not my step parents, it’s like the unwritten rule. I would just inform your partner of these issues, and move on from there. Nagging will not help the situation.
I’d be letting him know the respect switch has just flipped completely, give choice but truthfully I’d be going going gone.
If this is your husband I would be very concerned not just for the child’s safety but ultimately if he has full custody of the son & the son goes and gets drunk and is driving & he wrecks and kills somebody because he is a minor your husband will be held accountable. The family your son hurts can sue you all for everything you have. This is a dangerous situation & for multiple reasons. I would make that vividly clear to your partner & let him know that when sh*t hits the fan that you will have no parts in what the repercussions are since you have no hand in discipline. If you are not willing to walk away then just focus on your child. Let the father deal with it & back off. I know its hard but your hands are tied & if you’re determined to keep pushing the issue you will be creating more issues for yourself. So walk away or just start preparing yourself for a hard life ahead. Seems to me no matter that outcome you will be the bad guy in the situation so might as well pick your evil
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Get out of that relationship.
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Tell the parents of the mates, if your S/O won’t allow you to discipline him the friends parents should know as well. Maybe that could helpm
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Leave. He has no respect for you!
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Done pack up and leave he sont respect u or your position I’d leave
I have this similar issue with my 16 year old step daughter except it hasn’t gone that far that I am aware of and she’s only with is every other weekend. She has the worst attitude, disrespects me almost every time she’s in my house but her father does absolutely nothing to discipline her but has no problem disciplining her younger sister. The mother is even worse. I had to step back and completely take myself out of that role. Its really hard and it breaks my heart because she’s just a child and it’s not her fault but there really is nothing I can do. The lack of concern over the drinking from his father really has me worried though. I wish I had better advice:pleading_face:
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Why do you stay with this loser?
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He will come crawling back when his son is locked up or burried because he was a shitty dad.
It only gets harder if you cannot with together in a blended family 
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If your partner doesn’t want your help with his son, leave it be. Teach your partner and your stepchild a lesson by literally not being there for them anymore. Don’t do anything for either of them. Let it be just your son. Don’t do anything for them on holidays, special occasions, no vacations…spoil your boy…Teach his son a lesson too. Call the cops because at this point, he’s endangering your son. He wants to break the law, let him pay the consequences. 
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Break up w your partner! He doesn’t respect you or your opion…time to move on honey!
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Sleep with someone else let him find out and when he confronts you tell him you " don’t like to be confronted 
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I’ve seen this same old story twice now…let me make it clear…one ended up in jail and the other is an alcoholic. There is a family dynamic problem here with no united front in the family. Your husband isn’t acting as a role model. He’s acting like a coward. Get professional counseling help quick so you two can become a united front. Too much discipline can be soul crushing, too little is down right neglect. Find a happy medium and learn to communicate, else this problem continues to grow into something worse for the young man’s development.
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Leave him ,neither him or his son respect you or try to listen to you. You and especially your son don’t deserve that or to be around it . Not just that but if he literally doesn’t not care that he comes home drunk etc when it runs risk of you ending up in jail and your other boy in the system all bc a minor is drunk or high under your care then he don’t give a crap about you or your kid .get a divorce and move on girl .
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Leave what he’s a little b**** for not putting his foot down, he will regret it later when something happens to his son. I personally wouldn’t want my other kids seeing that.
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Leave him. It won’t get better, and you have your own son to think of. You’re not being respected by your partner. Period.
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Your first step is to have it out with him. Then you do what you can to protect the child. That kid needs a parent and your husband isn’t being one. Or tell his mom
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Your husband is an enabler and this will only get worse. He is teaching his kid a lack of respect for women… and setting him up for failure in the future. I’ve been here before. You do absolutely nothing for this kid at this point. It sounds harsh, but dad and kid will have to learn the hard way. The question will then be… do you want to part of the disfunction?
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I’d break up with the dude! He’s rude, disrespectful, and isn’t a good parent imo. He’s blinded by his fear of confrontation.
The next time the kid comes home drunk call the police and report it. You didn’t tell dad and you didn’t discipline the kid but now denial daddy can’t ignore it anymore. You have a kid who will be affected by this brats behavior so you allowing it to continue in the home you share is only going to harm your kid. THAT is very much your responsibility. I know this is a tough situation and it sounds to me like you’re an amazing parent don’t let denial daddy drag you down with him and his brat! Fight back and fight back hard
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Your step son is gonna end up in prison. His dad is not teaching him that his actions have consequences, and he’s hanging with a bad group of guys. Your partner is not parenting, and I’m sorry he doesn’t let you. When your son is out there in the future with a good job, a loving partner, beautiful kids, and his own son is in prison he’ll realize he f*cked up
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write the kid a letter saying that you understand he is young, and making bad decisions, that when his bad decisions come to light and the consequences are there you will still be his friend.
You either deal with it and focus on Just your son… No matter what and I do mean No matter what or you leave theres no other option.
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His son might end up dead. He’s pushing boundaries without actually having any. Zero accountability, if he survives all those crazy nights, will he become a decent member of your community? Or is he going to live in your basement, mad the world won’t treat him the way daddy does?
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It’s going to just stress you out even more if ur partner isn’t seeing how much u actually care for ur step son and you wanna teach him responsibilities and ur partner isn’t helping at all its always going to be like that I suggest either u warn him or you’re done…
Get you and your child outta that toxic ass nightmare. Your partners kid is gonna end up in your basement forever, in jail, or dead because his father doesn’t hold him accountable for his actions. You’re also the example for your child on how family dynamics SHOULD work and this isn’t a healthy example.
Not being mean but I wouldn’t wash his clothes etc. His dad wants all control? Let him do it and it may change.
ETA: 15 is old enough to know better and it’s not a kid who cant do for themselves. That’s a whole different situation.
Good luck.
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Time to find a new man!!
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Partner or husband? That could have some bearing on the situation.
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You two obviously have very different parenting types. Time to realize this relationship isnt going to work and move on to protect your sanity and your own child. And pray for the safety of partners kid from a distance. There is nothing left to do but move on.
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